Doom Patrol (2019) s02e09 Episode Script

Wax Patrol

1
Keep your eyes on your fellow man ♪
Old man Caesar in his big empire ♪
Would just sit by still
through higher and higher ♪
Never had to worry
about a dime to spend ♪
He won the world in a year or two ♪
- Told everybody just what to do ♪
-
But he sure found out ♪
Brutus wasn't his friend ♪
Well, that's it, Jack
don't turn your back ♪
Don't you keep your
mind in a paper sack ♪
Just keep your eyes
on your fellow man ♪
Song was for you.
Knew it was time for your break.
Take half. It's all I got today.
Been savin' up them
nickels you usually give me.
You're like a cat. You know that?
Mysterious.
Can't tell if you want
someone for petting
or for scratching.
Just getting familiar
with my surroundings.
Where you from?
Many places.
Does the cat have a name?
- Miranda.
- Miranda.
Well, I could show you around.
Take you to some new spots.
We could dance a little?
My favorite? The Blue Moon Bar.
Best jukebox in town
maybe Saturday night?
Sure.
This is what I bought with
the nickels you give me.
It's for you.
Been waiting for you to
give me the time of day.
Does this work on other girls?
Is it working on you?
Uh
Oh, I'm sorry.
Ah, nah.
Been dreaming about
this day, just happy.
Didn't mean no disrespect.
Let me slow it down for you.
Let's start over.
Saturday night.
Ah
I get off at 7:00.
Uh, laundry day?
Clara's getting married and somehow,
for the grace of sweet baby Jesus,
I scored a ticket.
And you're going to wear a T-shirt?
Which will be fine. I mean
everyone will be looking
at the bride, anyway.
I'm having a hard time picking one out.
I'm going for the most
clean and least offensive.
Tough choices.
This is a solid collection.
Jane picked them for me. Who are you?
I'm Miranda.
Miranda? Didn't you jump into a well?
I did. I healed.
Where's Jane?
Resting. We took a trip
to our childhood home
and I'm afraid she was triggered.
She had to climb into an old
well. It was pretty rough.
Oh. Okay. Tell her I said hey.
Uh
Well, if everyone's going
to be looking at the bride
When your father is a gigantic robot?
That's a point.
Miranda's awesome.
Vic, you've been playing
this sad love song on repeat.
It's the only thing that helps.
Everyone gets their heart broken.
I had mine broken at least 16 times
by the time I was your age.
There's no superhuman strength
that can save you from heartache.
I lost her.
I'm a failure.
You think you failed?
I had a shot to stop
Roni, just like you.
And I completely froze.
Like an idiot.
Cliff is leaving for
his daughter's wedding.
We need to say good-bye.
That I ever wanted more ♪
Than to never feel
the breaking apart ♪
My pictures of you ♪
Well, proud papa is off to
see my baby girl do that thing
that is usually the biggest
mistake of people's lives.
She'll be so happy her father is there.
Oh, God. You can't just
do that to a person.
Armageddon.
You forgot to say knock-knock.
No, real Armageddon.
It's happening at the
Dietel County Fair.
Dorothy needs help.
She can't hold back the Candlemaker.
And what, pray tell, is the Candlemaker?
It's everything Chief warned us about
when he warned us about Dorothy.
He's wreaking havoc
and now the Chief's dying.
And nobody can find him.
And all of humanity's
about to go up in wax.
We're on our way.
Hurry!
What, I can't lead a mission?
Okay.
- I'm in.
- Me too.
You think Flit can get us there?
Flit's in. So am I.
Well, I'm out. I wanna see
my daughter get married.
If it's the end of the world,
there won't be a wedding.
If it's the end of the world,
I deserve to spend it with my family.
What the hell are we?
For as long as I can remember,
no one out there has
given a damn about us.
- We're all we have.
- So that's it?
- Chief wins again?
- This isn't about the Chief.
This is about Dorothy.
And for me, it's about Clara.
I have a daughter too!
He's responsible for
the life he fucked up.
I'm responsible for
the life I fucked up.
I'm going to repair mine.
If you want to be the man your
daughter expects you to be,
then you'll help an 11-year-old
girl whose life is in danger.
Hi, you've reached
Salty Bumps' bar and restaurant
and tackle shop.
- Our operating hours are 8:00 a.m. to 2:00 a.m.
- Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!
Fuck you, Bump.
Closed on Sundays for Jesus.
Uh, hi, Clara, it's your
fucking Father of the Year.
Something's come up and I'm not sure
I understand myself, but
I might have to miss the wedding.
I'm sorry.
And I know, I'm the last guy
you want to hear another promise from,
but I promise to be there
to welcome my first and only grandchild.
I mean it.
Oh, I'm a fucking loser.
Thanks, Flit.
What the hell happened here?
Okay. So,
we have teleported up
Walt Disney's asshole.
Now what?
We find Niles, we find Dorothy
and we get the hell out of here.
Yeah, good luck with that.
What the fuck kind of Mike
Tyson shit happened to you?
You can hold it back.
Concentrate.
You have to concentrate.
The time for concentration
is over, girl.
I am here.
And so are your friends.
Good. Then they'll stop you.
Forget the girl, save yourselves.
The Candlemaker's hijacked
that little shit's imagination,
summoned imaginary
friends to do its bidding.
Imaginary friends? Like the Spider?
"Like the Spider", he says
You clueless pack of twats have
no idea what we're up against.
Our imaginary friends.
He's behind me, isn't he?
Your imaginary friend is
a Punch and Judy puppet?
It was the 15th century.
We didn't have Bugs cunting Bunny.
- He's gone.
- What the fuck?
For the first time,
I actually agree with Cliff.
What the fuck?
Look, Kipling can worry about himself.
We need to find Niles, and fast.
Let's split up.
We're gonna find Niles and we're
gonna kill that fucker dead.
You hear me? Fucking fuck!
It's funny. I never
had an imaginary friend.
That is the saddest
thing I have ever heard.
What's wrong? What's happening?
Sorry, the line went down.
Why did you go to the fairground?
Dorothy is not our friend.
You pulled the alarm to question me?
My job is to keep us moving forward.
That means making amends.
Even Jane would think before
doing some stupid shit like that.
Amends with that thing up there
that killed some of our own?
By the way, where is Jane?
Maybe she's with Lucy
Fugue or Scarlet Harlot.
They're missing too.
Have any of you asked yourself
if this is what the girl wants?
Hm?
Do you even know what Kay wants?
Because I do.
Tell you what, you little doggies
keep yapping at each other.
I have things to do.
Mademoiselle Roxy?
Hello, my starlet, rosy cheeks Rita.
Look at you.
How long's it been?
- Ninety years.
- Wow.
Well, I'd say we've
both held up pretty well.
Am I still all the
things you aspired to?
Howdy, partner!
Dr. Cowboy?
Well, I'll be gosh darned
if you don't look tougher
than nails in that get-up.
You're not Dr. Cowboy. You can't be.
Did you, uh You
make all that yourself?
What is that? Aluminum foil?
Not another step.
Oh, I remember this game.
What's going on here?
I assume you're going
to, what, attack me?
Try to rip me limb from limb?
I feel I should warn you.
I have certain abilities now,
abilities I didn't possess as a child.
Stretchy abilities.
Blobby abilities.
They're really quite something.
Attack you? Oh!
I have something much better planned.
I'm afraid running
isn't an option, dear.
Whenever you're ready.
Draw!
Oh! You got me.
But you were always a good shot, Vic.
Plus, all I got is beakers.
This is it for Dr. Cowboy, Vic.
Everything's so pale.
So pale.
How are you still here?
Well, I reckon it's on account of me
being in your imagination.
Besides, you and I
need to talk, partner.
I understand you're
having female problems.
- Ready?
- We'll see.
Then a one and a two and a
Oh!
Not bad, kid. You still got it.
Chief? Dorothy? Hello?
It's all good.
We'll find shithead and
his kid and we'll split.
I might even make it to the wedding
in time to see Clara toss the
Get off me. Get off me!
- Jesus?
- Hey, Cliffy, you piece of shit.
What the fuck? You
were my imaginary friend
for, like, half a summer at Bible Camp!
Yeah. And then you forsook my ass.
Wait! Jesus.
I come in peace.
Maybe we could talk this out?
You think I give a
French fried titty fuck
about anything you have
to say right now, Cliff?
I'm here to end you.
- Where do you want it?
- Uh
This works, I think.
About a ghost from a wishing well ♪
In a castle dark ♪
You wanna take a break and fool around?
Uh, kind of.
You know that ghost is me ♪
And I will never be set free ♪
As long as I'm a ghost ♪
What?
I'm just thinking back to that girl
I met at the diner a couple years ago.
The one who went bananas
when I touched her cheek.
Oh, I hear she's a sex maniac now.
- Mm-hm.
- Mm.
Just like a paperback novel ♪
The kind the drugstore sells ♪
Can't believe we're doing this.
I know you keep saying that,
so I'll believe it, eventually.
Don't put that on me, okay?
And you won't read that book again ♪
I'm not.
I'm just not as sure about
everything I do like you.
Okay?
I have
things I
have to think of before I
make a decision like this.
Look
I know you didn't have the
happiest of homes growing up.
And I know you need
your alone time to sketch
and talk to yourself or whatever.
But I want you to know
that we'll make this work.
I know.
You think we can actually get
this place set up by Saturday?
What's this "we" business?
I'm sorry I can't take a day. I
gotta be seen around the office
- if they're going to move me up.
- Mm.
Remember that dirty hippie
guitarist outside the diner?
I hear he got a job.
- Mm.
- Mm, yeah.
He's working for the man now.
It's cool.
I'll have this place
unpacked and fantastic
before the house-warming on Saturday.
Your friends will be blown away.
Our friends.
Mm.
Our friends are really your friends.
Well, they all love you.
I know. I just
feel alone sometimes
when we all hang out.
Okay.
You wanna come up with a sign?
Let me know if you start feeling alone?
Mm. How's this?
Too subtle.
Just hit me in the face and I'll know.
I'm just tryin' to understand ♪
- Hey.
- Yeah?
I left the moving van unlocked.
You should go downstairs before
someone steals your stuff.
Shit.
And I've got to say
that I just don't get it ♪
I don't know where we went wrong ♪
But the feeling's gone and
I just can't get it back ♪
Thank you.
This is a good thing, for all of us.
I promise.
I promise. I promise. I promise
I know you think
you're helping your friends.
But the only power here is mine
and the longer you
try to hold me back,
the more I'm going to torture them.
Just remember the pain I inflict,
it's all on you.
Chief! Can you hear me?
Kipling?
What the hell happened to you?
Help!
Jesus?
Jesus?
Okay Okay.
Ahh, Jesus!
Fuck!
You imaginary ass bitch.
How's this real shit feel, huh?
Oh, my eye!
Jesus!
Getting tired?
Not on your life.
Oh, dancing together again
makes me almost wish
you never got that part.
Your career takes off
and old Roxy got crumpled
and tossed in the bin.
I guess success does change people.
It wasn't the role. It's how I got it.
- What did you have to do?
- I didn't have to do a thing.
It was my mother.
So you just let this Roni character go?
Roni's not all bad.
I know that.
And what about Quorum?
After what they did to her,
maybe they deserve what's coming to 'em.
They do sound like a
bunch of no good varmints.
So, what do you think?
You followed your gut.
I'm sure you made the right decision.
Oh, fuck. You stupid frozen arm.
- Not now.
- Let me fix it for you.
Fuck! Oh, shit!
You have her eyes, you know.
I cut them from a photo of her,
I loved her eyes so much.
But after what she did, what I saw
I couldn't bear to look
at her anymore. Or you.
Why are you doing this, man?
You're supposed to be
all peaceful and shit.
Why?
Why?
Because you're a stinkin' Judas, dude.
We were thick as thieves
all through Bible camp,
until one day, out of the blue,
you act like you don't know me!
You don't play Jesus like that.
- Fuck Bible camp!
- Fuck you!
That's not what I'm asking.
I want some advice.
Oh, no sirree!
Now that's what your dad is for.
Advice. Critiques. Judgment.
No, you made me for affirmation.
- That's not true.
- Sure it is.
Whatever you do,
I'm here to pat you on
the back and say yeehaw.
So yeehaw, Vic.
You let a killer go loose. But hey,
if you're okay with it, so am I.
I was only at that fucking place
because my mom needed
me out of the house
when she and my dad were splitting
up for like the millionth time.
Oh, so the whole time
you knew I was a temp?
No, man! What we had was great.
You were like a brother.
So what happened?
My dad came back.
And he swore things
were gonna be different.
He was gonna change.
Not just with my mom, but me.
He promised we were gonna
spend more time together.
- And you bought it?
- I was six!
Of course, I bought it. I needed my dad.
Six. Jesus, I had no idea.
Can you do that?
Take your name in vain?
Do you get some sort of pass?
No. Look, I hope it
was worth it for you.
It wasn't.
He didn't change.
And on some level, I
knew he never could.
I had to believe in my dad.
You know what that's like.
Thing is, I'm basically doing
the same thing with my daughter.
I'm sorry, Jesus.
It's all good, my man.
You became the last
thing that I wanted to be.
And yet, that's exactly what you became.
Desperate.
Willing to do anything
to get the next role.
That's all you know how to do, isn't it?
Look at yourself.
You'll always be
that pathetic little boy,
looking for validation.
Who are you?
Who are you?
That's why you always
need a role, isn't it?
What?
You'll never grow up.
I should've known. Jesus forgives.
Yeah.
Unfortunately, for you,
I'm not Jesus.
What the fuck?
We get it almost every night ♪
When that moon gets big and bright ♪
- Miranda, this place is great!
- Thanks.
Bob. I share an office with John.
Bob. Right. Good to see you.
Don't get too used to this apartment.
If that guy over there
keeps making moves,
you'll be buying a place
out in the suburbs.
Help.
Oh, looks like someone needs a drink.
Get some of that rye
if there's any left.
They don't bite they keep things
loose they keep things light ♪
What's so funny?
Everybody's feeling warm and bright ♪
It's official. You
throw a hell of a party.
Um, I have to deliver this.
It's a supernatural delight ♪
Everybody was dancing
in the moonlight ♪
Hey there. What's happening?
Bob kissed me.
He did?
- I told you everyone loves you.
- That's all you have to say about it?
Yeah, it's cool. Just be cool.
I am cool.
And we're entitled to howl at
the moon every once in a while.
I didn't know it was going
to be this kind of party.
Did you?
Hey, this could actually be good for us.
What are you talking about?
Trying something new.
Don't be so uptight.
You can be free with your
body. It's all about love.
I'll be with you the whole time.
I can't.
This is a lot.
Oh, man.
I'm sorry. We're moving too fast here.
You were right.
We shouldn't have moved in together.
We're in two different places.
What?
- Wait.
- We're in a rut, Miranda.
I know you feel it.
I hoped getting this place
would shake you out of it.
I love you,
but I can't stay stuck anymore.
Life is about moving forward,
experiencing new things.
I wanna do that with you.
Don't you wanna move forward?
Okay. Yeah.
That's my girl.
Okay, we have to do this.
It's gonna be fine.
You'll see. It's gonna be fine.
Hey, hon
you know Bob, of course.
And this is his wife, Tilly.
Hey.
Feeling warm and bright it's
such a fine and natural sight ♪
Everybody's dancing in the moonlight ♪
Everybody's dancing in the moonlight ♪
I've been hungry all day long ♪
For that girl who's wastin' time ♪
She was here but now she's gone ♪
I've got a taste for wine ♪
You're so good. So fucking good.
Such a good girl.
What is this?
What are you doing?
Please
don't.
I have to go.
What's that? You you okay?
Fuck it It's all for free
It's all for free.
Get off of me!
What's the matter?
What happened?
Miranda?
You were supposed to keep us safe.
Come on ♪
Come on ♪
Kay.
Kay
I thought I could lead us forward.
But I just led us back
here. I'm sorry, Kay.
Come on, baby, come on.
What do we do?
Did she O.D.?
Oh, thank Christ.
Give her some air, you guys.
Come on, sweetheart.
Hey Oh.
You scared the shit out of me.
What happened? Are you okay?
Yeah, I'm good.
Yeah. Fine as wine.
Okay.
So who wants to get
back to fucking? You?
What do you say, Bobby? You
seemed to be enjoying it before.
You wanna run up in it again?
How about you?
There's room for more gash, right?
Maybe he sticks it in while
one of you ride my face?
Or maybe we start up a daisy chain
and he watches while he cranks it.
- Come on. Let's be free!
- Miranda.
You motherfuckers.
You don't know a thing about love.
Not one of you.
This shit that happened tonight?
This scene isn't about love or freedom.
It's just more control.
Cooked up by men like this asshole!
They stay in control
and keep taking from clueless bitches.
And we let them because
we've tricked ourselves
into believing it's a fucking choice.
I don't know who's
worse in this shitbox.
The tiny dicked losers
or all of you sheep, opening up for them
because you're afraid and empty.
Hey. Hey!
What the fuck was that?
You knew when you
planned this little party.
You knew you'd have to
push this on Miranda,
and you knew exactly how to do it.
I thought it would help us,
to grow!
Bullshit!
This was never about
growing and evolving.
You just wanted to try some new pussy.
You know what?
You do need help better
than I can give you,
because you're fucking crazy, Miranda!
You want crazy? Here's crazy.
And my name is Jane.
Dorothy
Dorothy
Dorothy!
Papa?
Come to me, darling. But first
- you must cover your eyes.
- What?
Why?
Just do as I say, please.
No
Dorothy, don't look.
Close your eyes.
I did this.
This is all on me.
Cliff.
It'll be all right, darling.
We can still fix this.
Dorothy, please.
Darling
come to me.
No.
Slava.
You cannot wait any longer, child.
- Don't listen to her.
- He can't protect you.
Neither can your friends.
It is up to you
alone.
She's not here.
I know.
How dare you!
You unleashed this thing
on your own daughter!
Are you a little girl?
Or are you a woman?
She will always be a little girl.
- She has to be!
- You don't know.
I know that
she cannot beat him!
You're not Miranda, are you?
It is her time.
And she must grow up.
Then who are you?
Oh
Sweet baby.
Don't do it. Don't you do it!
Listen to me.
You can't beat him. Look at the others.
Look at how he destroyed them.
What chance does a little girl have?
Don't do this, Dorothy,
I'm begging you.
It's all right, Papa.
I know what I have to do now.
Girl
you need a weapon.
I can make my own.
Dorothy
Come, girl, and meet your fate.
Dorothy!
Greg, move your head!
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