Drop Dead Diva s04e12 Episode Script
Picks and Pakes
See that aspiring model there? That was me Deb until the day I died.
I thought I'd go straight to heaven, but there was a bit of a mix-up and I woke up in someone else's body.
So now I'm Jane, a super-busy lawyer with my very own assistant.
I got a new life, a new wardrobe, and the only people who really know what's going on with me are my girlfriend Stacy and my guardian angel, Luke.
I used to think everything happened for a reason Whoo! and I sure hope I was right.
Drop Dead Diva 4x12 - Picks and Pakes Original air date August 26, 2012 What are you doing? - I'm working on my TV smile.
- Ah.
I need to blend humility and confidence two parts Meryl Streep, one part Katie Couric.
My future wife on national TV arguing against Lawrence freakin' Brand.
You could not be hotter right now.
But you're gonna need more than a smile to keep up with him.
We're debating a celebrity's right to privacy.
I've had a subscription to "US Weekly" since I was 5.
That's an excellent point.
- Hey, my buddy Roger, the real-estate agent - Uh-huh.
he pulled some house listings for us.
- We can check them out tomorrow.
- Oh, that's great.
Oh, you know what? I'm so sorry.
I'm just really busy tomorrow.
Why aren't you more excited about house hunting? Is it the money? Because No.
It's Stacy.
You know? I haven't told her yet.
She is aware that when people get married, they generally live together.
Yes, of course.
But, you know, we haven't talked about it.
I mean, we just bought a new goldfish together.
Jane.
Jane wants her bridesmaids in French haute, but I want salsa hot, like this one.
Salsa gives me indigestion, and so does that.
Well, it doesn't matter because my date is my zumba instructor, and after one Margarita, the dress will be on the floor.
Mm! So, how about you, blondie? Who's your "plus one"? I've been working too hard to date, but there is a contender.
Don't be obvious, but look to your right.
Oh! She's cute! Good for you.
Expanding your horizons.
No, no, no.
The other right.
Oh.
Yeah.
I guess he'll do.
I don't even know his name.
He comes in here every day, smiles, and asks me all about the pakes, like, are the fillings canned or fresh? How do I make my crusts? Which ones have nuts? And then he leaves.
Oh, good lord.
Guys don't care about crust.
He wants to ask you out, but he just doesn't have the nuts.
Can I even date a customer? I mean, isn't there some sort of bakers' code? O-kay.
He's coming over.
Just be cool.
Um, excuse me.
- Hi.
- Hi.
I I noticed a a new pake on the display, the one with the green frosting.
Ohh.
It's my pistachio surprise.
Surprise my friend Stacy wants to go out with you.
Teri, no, mm.
Um How about lunch? She's free right now.
Well, okay! Teri, I can take it from here.
That sounds lovely.
Let me just change out of my apron.
Does a right to privacy truly exist in today's celebrity culture? Let's unleash the lawyers.
To my right, the man who took on Big Tobacco, Big Oil, Big Insurance, the Lawrence Brand.
Always nice to be here, Nancy.
And also with us, a guest that's new to the program, Joan Bingum.
Uh, it's it's Jane.
Jane, Joan.
Whatever.
More than ever, celebrities are whining their "privacy" is being "violated.
" Today's big question do celebs really have the right to gripe? Well, I believe that everyone in society is entitled to Once in the public eye, you can't ask the public to go blind.
Right, but the right to Celebrities can't have their star-studded cake and eat it, too.
Don't have to raise your hand.
Well, clearly, I do.
I think we can all agree that photographing Naomi Campbell when she's leaving rehab is a violation of Stop right there.
Excuse me? Your premise, "we can agree," it's presumptuous.
Let me tell you something, Larry I believe these celebrities erase the lines between public and private with every tweet, Facebook post, and sex tape they release.
Joan, response? Um Not much of a response.
Oh! No.
Yes, I do have a response! In Bernard v.
Iowa board of education, you successfully argued that the school had no right to search students' lockers because, and I quote, "a democratic society requires" "that privacy be a concrete right, not a flexible one.
" Oh, my goodness! She's right.
What? Did I just hear Lawrence Brand concede a point? But, frankly, I don't recall that case.
I think that both of you are making it up.
It was squeezed between Mr .
Brand's asbestos class-action and his product liability against a baby-food company.
Oh! - Ms.
Bingum - Yeah.
it seems you know more about me than my ex-wife.
Linda Brand a lovely woman you met as a young law student at Harvard.
Oh, my goodness.
Oh! Aah! Oh, God! I'm sorry.
Oh, God! Aah! I'm so sorry! - I am so sorry! - Get away! So, I was trying to bake a cake, but two pages of the cookbook got stuck together with vanilla extract, and then I ended up baking my cake in a pie crust.
I mean, pie plus cake equals pake.
Voilà ! We are all just one happy accident away from being a genius.
Did you just call me a genius? What if I did? You'd be the first.
Well, the first to say it without an exaggerated eye roll.
I have a proposal for you.
Ohh! I'm flattered, but I think you're moving a little fast there, Jonah.
The thing is, Stacy I own the patent on the pake.
I'm sorry.
What? Yeah.
Here here's the paperwork.
You've been profiting off my intellectual property something that I'm willing to overlook for half of your profits.
I think this is the worst date ever.
Teri, quit gawking.
Ugh.
It's like watching a "Hoarders" marathon.
I'm repulsed, but I can't look away.
Ah.
Thank you.
You know they've been on three dates already? She's like the Terminator of office romances first you, then Parker, now Luke.
Who's next Cory from the mailroom? Guess you missed the Christmas party.
Seriously, it's it's not that big of a deal.
Which part wasn't a big deal? When I spilled my drink on myself or when I elbowed Nancy Grace in the face? No, no, no, I'm telling you, no one even noticed.
Bingum! You're a star.
- You saw the show? - Been watching all afternoon.
- You've gone viral.
Check it out.
- What? Please pull up "Jane Bingum on 'Nancy Grace.
'" Oh! Aah! - Oh, God! I'm sorry.
Oh, God! - Aah! - Oh, my God! - Wow! What?! I Oh, God, Parker, I I'm so sorry.
Sorry? Are you kidding me? This is great publicity.
And it's free.
"No one noticed"? Yeah.
Look, I I I got to get to work.
I'll see you later? So, what was it like to meet your idol in the flesh? - My idol? - Lawrence Brand.
Is not my idol.
What what is that? A Lawrence Brand coffee mug.
You gave them out for Christmas a few years ago.
- Before your amnesia, you could not get enough of this guy.
- Get rid of it.
I never want to see that arrogant, self-congratulatory blowhard again.
Somebody call for an arrogant, self-congratulatory blowhard? What are you doing here? I want to hire you.
Okay.
Well, in case you haven't noticed, I have a job.
I've got a pretrial hearing against a huge drug company in a few hours.
Look, you're used to getting your way, - but let me tell you something, Larry.
- She's in.
Mr.
Brand has agreed to give us I've cleared your entire schedule.
Welcome aboard.
I grew up an only child, and my whole life all I've ever wanted to be was a mom.
It took us a while, but we finally got pregnant.
I it's okay.
Take your time.
During my my second trimester, I just didn't feel right.
My O.
B.
said I had antepartum depression, and she put me on Aprox.
A miracle drug.
The miracle is that it made it to the market, considering it can trigger miscarriages.
Sheila suffered a late-term miscarriage.
The trauma caused scarring of her fallopian tubes.
And now I can't ever get pregnant again.
I'm so sorry.
And once we're done with Vanden Pharmaceuticals, they will be sorry, too.
Vanden is facing a dozen lawsuits, and in court today, we'll be responding to their attempt to change counsel.
Now, that is just a ploy to extend discovery.
We are going to surprise them with an overwhelming and unassailable response.
Thank you.
No, thank you so much for coming in.
Okay, I'll bite.
What's our overwhelming and unassailable response? You have two hours to figure it out.
I don't understand.
You didn't fill out the patent form? Oh, no, I filled it out.
Two weeks before I opened the pakery.
Okay.
That's good news.
But on my way to the post office, I realized my groupon for lash dipping was expiring, and then I kind of forgot.
Stacy, this guy is a patent troll.
He looks for successful products that haven't been patented, then files the paperwork and tries to extort the true inventor.
I checked his records.
- He's done it before.
- So what are we gonna do? Well, he's a small-claims terrorist.
And since we don't negotiate with terrorists, we're taking him to court.
Thank you.
Stacy! Hey! - Hi! - Hi! I'm so glad you're here.
Actually, I I have something I've been meaning to discuss with you.
Jane, a troll is trying to steal my pakery! Did you fall asleep during "Game of Thrones" again? I never filed my patent.
- Oh, God, a patent troll! - Mm-Hmm.
Those guys are dirtier than dirt.
Teri said you were in with some big-shot attorney, so she sent me to Grayson for help.
That evil troll wants half the pakery.
And I feel like such an idiot! I have worked so hard for this! Sweetie, don't worry.
You're obviously in great hands with Grayson, and if you need me, I'm here.
Thank you! Of course.
Okay, so, what is it that you wanted to tell me? Oh, um, nothing important.
Just, Owen and I were it's nothing.
You know, we can talk later.
Yeah? Okay.
Bye.
Your Honor, their request to substitute counsel is a stall tactic.
Their drug caused a miscarriage and rendered my client infertile.
No more delays.
My client understands the stakes, Your Honor, but rushing a trial serves neither party's interest.
I don't like delays, Mr.
Hensley.
I understand, Your Honor, but California rule 3.
1332 states that "substitution is grounds for a continuance.
" "Only when it is in the interest of justice," which this isn't.
According to whom? William Penn, a founding father, who declared, "justice delayed is justice denied.
" Swift justice is a tenet in criminal trials, Mr.
Brand.
Do you have a precedent in civil context? Ah.
U.
S.
A.
vs.
Hayter Oil.
The court denied the party's motion on grounds it served no judicial purpose other than to delay.
Nice work, counselor.
We'll proceed to trial immediately.
That was amazing.
We really had, like, rhythm going.
Hand me my briefcase, please.
Okay.
Sure.
So Well, you're welcome.
Are we all set for tomorrow you and me, house hunting? Does it have to be tomorrow? You didn't talk to Stacy? Yeah, she's just not in the right headspace.
All right.
All right.
Well, if I hadn't seen Lawrence Brand in action today, I might be annoyed.
He was pretty good, I guess.
You guess? Did you see what he did with "justice delayed is justice denied"? He set up a trap for opposing counsel and, bam! Okay, he did have help.
You know, the William Penn quote, that was all me.
And I handed him that card at exactly the right moment.
So, bam! I am merely pointing out the eloquence with which he expressed himself.
He was expressing my words, thank you very much.
Of course, and Jimi Hendrix had an amazing guitar.
So I'm just a guitar? You know, if you love Lawrence Brand so much, maybe you should marry him.
It would double my wardrobe.
Clearly, I'm not gonna win here, so I'm gonna go to bed.
And if you'd like to join me, no more talk about Lawrence Brand.
Lawrence who? Bam.
Larry, it's Jane.
Again.
Where are you? Ms.
Bingum? I'm so sorry, Your Honor.
My co-counsel will be here in one minute.
That's what you said five minutes ago.
Your Honor, Mr.
Brand argued vehemently to rush this case.
Now he can't bother to show up? Justice delayed is justice denied, right? Ms.
Bingum, call your first witness.
Mr.
Brand is first chair.
Are you a member of the bar? Yes.
Then if you don't want a mistrial, call your witness.
Uh, I call my client, Sheila Reese, to the stand.
Mrs.
Reese, you were six months' pregnant when you began suffering from depression.
That's right.
And you were prescribed Aprox? Uh, y yes, I took it for a few weeks, and and I got better.
And then one morning, I woke up in incredible pain.
It's okay.
Take your time.
There was blood everywhere.
I had lost my baby.
Our baby.
Nothing further.
Mrs.
Reese, I'm very sorry for your loss.
In your deposition, you said that you don't take prescription drugs.
Aprox was the first one I've taken in years.
Then, on may 8th of this year, you didn't order Percocet from an online provider? We can provide a receipt.
My back was in spasm.
Are you aware that Percocet a prescription drug requires a doctor's consultation prior to use if you're pregnant? We'd like to enter this package insert as defense exhibit 1.
I didn't take that drug.
I read the warning and threw the pills away.
You miscarried two weeks after you ordered the Percocet.
Isn't that true? - I didn't take that drug.
- Objection! - Overruled.
- Yes or no.
- Yes, but I - Thank you.
We'll take a recess here.
We need to talk.
Come on.
How could you begin without me? You were late.
I was stuck in traffic.
Trial advocacy 101 if the driver's not behind the wheel, don't start the bus! I stalled as long as I could! What was I supposed to do?! You stall some more! File a frivolous motion, amend your witness list, feign illness and that's just off the top of my head.
Do you know why I've never lost a case? Oh, I'm sure you're gonna tell me.
Because I don't get surprised on cross.
Our client ordered Percocet, and a first-year law student knows you have to get that kind of information in front of the jury before the other side! Had I known about the Percocet beforehand, I would have! The info was in the file! I hired you because I thought you'd be an adequate second fiddle, not an ill-prepared amateur! I'm I'm sorry, okay? No, it's not okay.
I promised my client we'd win her case, and you put that in jeopardy.
Lawrence said I should have known about the Percocet.
I cannot find this information anywhere.
I don't see why you're beating yourself up about it.
Lawrence was the one who was late.
Are you sure this is everything? I'm sure.
And we've been through everything twice.
Heard you had an interesting day in court.
What? I'm not in the mood, Kim.
What do you want? Oh, I was just at the courthouse around 9:00 A.
M.
this morning and witnessed an epic fight between Lawrence Brand and a bailiff in an empty courtroom.
Doesn't even make any sense.
At 9:00 A.
M.
, Lawrence was stuck in traffic.
No, it was definitely him.
He claimed he was in the right court and demanded to know why everyone else was missing.
Your Honor, we have the signed and dated patent application for the pake.
There's nothing to litigate here.
My client owns the pake.
End of story.
Nice try, but per the patent reform act of 2011, first to invent trumps first to file.
I'm confused.
Um, what exactly is a pake? I am so glad you asked.
It is a delicious dessert half pie, half cake.
I brought one for you.
And it's not a bribe, unless you want it to be.
Thank you, honey.
I'm sure it's delicious.
But I really shouldn't.
And I have miss Barrett's lease agreement dated June 24th for her business, called "The Pakery," which predates Mr.
Pierce's patent application by six weeks.
Mm-hmm.
Mr.
Pierce.
I keep a journal.
I'd like to read you my entry from Wednesday, June 17th.
Of course.
Go ahead.
"Feeling a bit down this morning.
" "I decided to bake a cake," "but the pages of the cookbook stuck together," "and I baked my cake in a pie crust.
" "It's genius.
I think I just invented" Liar! That's my story! I told him all about it when I thought we were on a date.
You are a story-stealing, pake-faking, fake-flirting terrorist! Enough, enough.
Uh, do either one of you have a witness? Um, sadly, no.
I I create a la carte.
Nikki Lepree saw me invent the pake.
She even took pictures on her bedazzled cellphone.
We do have a witness, Your Honor.
We'll need some time to track her down.
Okay.
We'll reconvene tomorrow.
I think I may need that extra hour in the gym.
Bailiff, get me that pake.
We're adjourned.
Nikki Lepree is a con artist who disappeared into thin air after stealing my money.
How are we gonna find her? I don't know.
But we've got 24 hours.
Guess who's been manscaping.
In what universe would I want to know that? I plan on picking up my option on Kim tonight.
You've been on multiple dates, and you still haven't exercised that option? Teri, in my vast experience, a woman is like an aircraft.
Some need a long runway, others take off like a Learjet.
Kim is somewhere between the spruce goose and a rocket ship.
Luke.
Hey, there.
Yeah, I'm sorry to have to do this last minute, but I have to cancel tonight.
Okay.
No problem.
How about this weekend? I'm busy.
So much for liftoff.
I got your message.
What's the good news? I called a buddy from the justice department.
He's been scouring databases looking for all of Nikki's aliases, but nothing.
Still waiting for the good news.
Well, I had him run one more search a list of everyone who's been looking for information about Nikki Lepree.
Since she ripped me off, she must have ripped off other people, and maybe one of them found her.
You're like dog the bounty hunter! Stacy, I found someone matching Nikki's description using your name.
Oh my God.
Where is she? That's the best part.
You're in jail.
I can't believe you're in jail! And it's your fault! I get pulled over for speeding, end up in here because the real Stacy Barrett has 30 unpaid parking tickets.
- What's wrong with you? - What is wrong with me? I couldn't afford to pay those tickets because you stole all my money! - Who gives $5,000 to a complete stranger? - Ladies.
Ladies! Look, Nikki, Stacy needs your help.
Her pakery is being sued and Wait.
You actually went through with the half-pie, half-cake idea? That was a joke.
Well, the joke is on you, because I'm a big success and you're wearing orange polyester! Well, I'm only in jail because of your unpaid parking tickets.
Nikki, here's the offer.
We post your bail.
You swear in court that Stacy invented the pake.
Wait.
You think I'm gonna testify as Nikki Lepree? I'd be arrested before the judge even put his robe on.
Well, then, how about we don't bail you out and we tell everyone that you ripped off that you're here? Do you want to come closer and say that again? No, thank you.
Nikki, do you have photos of Stacy making her first pake? Sure.
They're in my phone in the evidence locker.
Fine.
Final offer we bail you out, you give us the phone, you disappear.
And you say you're sorry and tell me how you get your skin so glowy, even in jail.
I'm waiting.
Ms.
Keating, you're head of research for Vanden Pharmaceuticals.
That's right.
Now, your company asserts there's no correlation between Aprox and miscarriages, yet on the packaging it says "may not be suitable for use during pregnancy.
" Why is that? We never tested the drug on pregnant women.
It's industry standard to include the warning.
And yet 10% of Aprox's profits come from pregnant women.
Tell the truth, Miss Keating.
Vanden aggressively pushes this drug on pregnant women knowing full well the extreme addiction associated with nicotine, correct? You also regularly sell cigarettes by the truckload to high-school students.
Can you explain that? Your Honor objection? What do cigarettes have to do with this case? Mr.
Brand? My co-counsel is pointing out that that Vanden, like Big Tobacco, doesn't care how many lives it damages in its pursuit of profit.
And we have nothing further at this time, Your Honor.
Okay.
We'll pick it up here tomorrow.
You okay? What was that all about? Mr.
Brand knows exactly what he's doing.
Okay.
Uh Excuse me.
Larry.
Larry.
Jane, no offense, you seemed a little confused in there.
Yeah, see, I am confused, because you were talking about cigarettes and nicotine.
No, I wasn't.
Maybe you have some kind of inner-ear problem.
- Just do your job, okay? - I'm doing my job.
In fact, I just saved your ass in there.
Look, there's no time for this kind of drama.
I have to go pick up my expert witness from the airport.
Whoa.
What expert witness? Oh, God.
It's in the file! No! No, it's not in the file! Stop saying that! Jane.
Owen, did you just hear him? Yes, I did.
Something is very wrong with Lawrence Brand.
Linda, thank you so much for meeting me.
- You said it was about Lawrence.
- Yeah.
But before we start, I want to make it clear.
Um, look, we're not married anymore, but if you're looking for dirt, then I'll just leave right now.
No, like I said, I'm just working on a case with him, and and, honestly, I'm worried.
How so? Why? He's a brilliant lawyer.
Oh, absolutely.
I I don't want to overstep.
It's just There have been some mental lapses and erratic behavior.
Oh, God.
He says things he doesn't remember saying.
He he disappears without explanation and then denies all of it.
Yeah.
Well, Ms.
Bingum, I know what's going on.
It's Pick's disease.
It's a form of frontal-lobe degeneration.
And you're sure he has it? Symptoms include memory lapses, mood swings, and impulsive behavior.
That could be Teri on a Saturday night.
According to his ex-wife, both Brand's father and grandfather suffered from it.
So, he's either facing his biggest fear or - In total denial.
- Yeah.
But either way, how do we handle this? Well, concern for Lawrence aside, you have a responsibility to your client and an ethical obligation to the bar to make him step down.
But what if he refuses? I mean, it's Lawrence Brand.
Then you go to the judge.
You force him out.
And photo number 3 is the third attempt at the maple pecan pake.
It was so yummy, we knew we had finally nailed it.
Your Honor, we were promised testimony from a witness, not a bunch of unsourced photos.
As an officer of the court, I attest that these photos came directly from a Ms.
Nikki Lepree, the witness.
No offense, but that Nikki looks computer-generated.
No one's skin is that glowy in real life.
Her skin really is that glowy.
I swear, it's like a baby seal, even in jail.
- Oh, God.
- Wait.
Wait.
In jail? I'm sorry, but their mystery witness is a criminal? We move to have the photos stricken from the record.
I'll take that under consideration and issue my ruling tomorrow.
But, Mr.
Kent, you should know better.
We're done.
I'm sorry.
I screwed up.
Stacy, why did it take you three attempts to make that pake? Because the pie crust cooks at a different rate than the cake.
Why? Just curious.
Jane.
- Hey, Luke.
- Hey.
I need some advice.
You know how I'm dating Kim, right? Yes.
And ew.
I'm sorry.
That came out wrong.
What I meant to say was "ew!" Anyway, she seems to have lost interest, and I was hoping that you Luke, in about five minutes, I've got to tell one of the world's greatest trial lawyers that he's got to step down.
Okay.
So, we all have our problems.
Back to Kim and me.
Okay, yeah.
Sure.
There is one sure way to get Kim in bed.
I'm listening.
Jane, Lawrence is ready for you.
Great.
I got to go.
Good luck.
You spoke to my ex-wife? Well, like you said, even a first-year law student knows you need to get in front of the information that might sink your case.
First-years also know if they get their facts wrong, they don't make it to year two.
It's Pick's disease, right? Early onset.
If you think I'm unfit to practice, report me to the bar! If you walk out that door, that's my next stop.
Larry You got lost on the way to court.
You failed to include a major piece of evidence in the client's file, and you argued a 15-year-old tobacco case mid-trial.
Just let me drive the bus from here on out.
What message would that send to the other side? That Lawrence Brand has such confidence in this case, he's letting his associate bring it home.
Fine.
Okay.
You can question the expert witness.
Again, Larry, what expert witness? Dr.
David Kane he's collected data on the ill effects of Aprox on pregnant women.
That's that's great news.
And he'll testify that Vanden Pharmaceuticals tested Aprox on pregnant women in India with catastrophic results.
Supposedly two teens in Gujarat bled out and died post-miscarriage.
Wait, wait, wait.
Stop.
We can't do "supposedly.
" Unless I have proof that these stories are true, I cannot ask Dr.
Kane about them.
The judge will declare a mistrial.
You're driving the bus.
Oh.
Hi.
Um, I'm looking for Jane or Owen? Uh, sorry.
They're both at work.
I'm Owen's friend, Roger O'Neil.
Oh, right.
You're one of the groomsmen.
Yeah.
Come on in.
Thank you.
So, I'm Stacy, Jane's maid of honor.
It's nice to meet you, Stacy.
Can you do me a favor? Um, I'm a real estate agent, and I brought over a few listings for them to look at.
Oh.
They're looking for a house.
Yeah.
It's exciting, isn't it? Of course.
So exciting.
I mean, it makes total sense.
'Cause she's moving.
On with her life.
Out of this house and in with Owen.
You and Jane never had the talk, did you? I've seen this before.
She doesn't want to make you sad, and you don't want to step on her joy.
So, nobody says anything till the moving van shows up.
And we just bought that new goldfish together.
You know what? I hope you find them a really nice house.
I will.
In fact, a few of those listings, they're on this block.
How about I show them those first? That would be really great.
Please state your name and occupation.
Dr.
David Kane, research director of the Pharma Oversight Foundation, dedicated to drug safety.
And have you researched Aprox, the drug in question? Yes.
We determined that a woman's chance of miscarriage increases by 14%.
Based on that data, Pharma Oversight lists Aprox as unsafe for pregnant women.
Thank you.
Dr.
Kane is it also true that in February of 2006, your wife had an adverse reaction to a Vanden antibiotic? Objection! Relevance.
Goes to bias against my client.
I'll allow it.
What happened to my wife doesn't change the data.
If you say so.
Redirect? No.
We are fine.
- Actually, we do have one question.
- No.
No.
Dr.
Kane, what can you tell us about an Aprox study that was supposedly conducted in India and then buried because of catastrophic results? Objection, Your Honor! That is outrageous! Counselors, sidebar.
Now! Counsel knows there is no buried study.
By implying to the jury that we are hiding data, he has unfairly prejudiced that jury.
It's not a lie if we have proof.
Fantastic.
Where is this proof? In a sealed envelope in a safe-deposit box.
I'll need a brief continuance to go get it.
You have until morning to deliver this study, Mr.
Brand.
If you don't, I'm going to dismiss this case with prejudice.
We're adjourned.
You were supposed to sit there and be quiet.
Did you see the looks on their faces when I told them what we had? We don't have anything! They're scared, Jane.
Because I have the study.
There's nothing here.
Big Tobacco is going down.
We're fighting a pharmaceutical company.
- You seem upset.
- I am upset! You just lost the case.
This is entirely my fault.
I mean, I allowed a sick man to take the floor in open court.
No, you can't blame yourself.
I'm gonna beg this judge for a mistrial.
I mean, the firm will get a black eye, but at least Sheila might get a chance at a retrial.
Unless Unless? Unless Lawrence isn't crazy.
No, I know, Pick's disease, but what if his strategy is sound? He handed me a blank piece of paper and told me, "Big Tobacco is going down.
" What if he's playing the wrong sport but he's making the right play? - Honey, I I don't follow.
- Okay.
Do you remember when we first started dating and I invited you over to watch "Footloose" on DVD? Yes.
But never watched it.
We just spent the night making out on your couch.
Guess what.
I never got the DVD.
The store was out.
- Uh - Do you recall how Lawrence won the case against Big Tobacco? He dug up the now-famous confidential Kelly memo and threatened to enter it into court, forcing the exec on the stand to plead the fifth.
Oh, my God! Those court records were sealed, and Lawrence never had to disclose that memo.
What if the Kelly memo was like the DVD of "Footloose"? You assumed I had it.
And you still got what you wanted.
I certainly did.
That was a fun night.
It certainly was.
A pake-off? Your Honor, this is a court of law, - not "Top Chef.
" - It's simple.
Mr.
Pierce says he invented the pake.
Well, if that's the case, he should be able to make one.
And if his pake is as good as Stacy's, she'll not only concede the patent, she'll hand over the lease to her pakery.
Works for me.
Mmm.
Ms.
Barrett, good job.
Mr.
Pierce? This isn't looking good.
It's burnt on the bottom and raw in the middle.
That's because a cake and a pie crust cook at different temperatures.
It took me like three tries to figure that out.
- Ms.
Barrett, the patent is yours.
- Your Honor Mr.
Pierce, you've got bigger problems.
I intend to review every single one of your patents in light of what you pulled here today.
No one likes a troll.
Yes! Ms.
Bingum, Mr.
Brand, was I not promised a document? Yes, Your Honor.
But in order to establish foundation, I need to ask Ms.
Keating just a few questions.
Limit your questions to authentication.
Ms.
Keating, you remain under oath.
Your company performs clinical drug trials in India.
- Correct? - Occasionally.
And every foreign drug trial requires an investigator's brochure, yes? Yes, that's the process.
This brochure is a real-time living document that keeps your company abreast of the recent developments? That's right.
Every doctor who participates in this study has real-time access to this brochure for the duration of the study? Yes.
So, hypothetically, if a drug company wanted to cover up a study, they would have to ensure that none of the participating physicians retained a copy of the brochure, right? Objection.
Relevance.
Sustained.
No more hypotheticals, Ms.
Bingum.
Okay.
Forget the hypotheticals.
Let's talk about the Aprox clinical trial done on pregnant women in Gujarat, India.
Several local doctors helped recruit participants There was no such study.
You are aware of the penalty for perjury? - Objection.
Badgering.
- My apologies.
But for the record, I mean, just in case Ms.
Keating does have questions about perjury, I have an A.
D.
A.
in the back row, at my invitation.
Last question.
Isn't it true that two pregnant teenage girls miscarried and bled to death in Gujarat, India, during the Aprox clinical trials? Do I have to answer that? Your Honor, at this time, my client exercises her fifth amendment right to not incriminate herself.
All right, that's enough! Calm down! Kim Hey.
I like you.
I mean, I really like you.
That's sweet.
And we had a good time hanging out.
We talked for hours.
We laughed.
We got to third base.
We got to second.
Well, we were rounding third.
I just need to know did I do something wrong? No.
No.
Look, Luke We did have fun, but we can't date.
Why not? It's complicated.
I'm a good listener.
I'll take you out to dinner.
No pressure.
- We can just - I really appreciate that - Come on.
You pick the restaurant.
- We can't date! Okay? We can't date because I'm pregnant.
And that's why I've been avoiding you.
I'm sorry.
Wow.
Um I'm really not ready to talk about it, so if you don't mind Okay.
Uh I'm here if you need me.
Thank you.
Excuse me.
Hi.
I'm looking for the patent holder of the pake.
That would be me.
Aw.
Grayson told me the good news.
Congratulations.
And congrats to you, too.
I heard you had a big win in court.
I did.
Thanks.
Um, I was wondering if maybe we could talk about something.
Me first.
Okay, so you know how I didn't have a date to the wedding? - Yeah.
- I've got one.
- You do?! - I do! And I just want to make sure it's not gonna mess up the seating chart.
Oh, no.
It'll be great.
Who is it? Roger.
Owen's friend.
The realtor.
You met our realtor.
I did.
And he is going to find an awesome house for you two.
Thanks, Stace.
You know I'm really happy for you, right? You know how much I'm gonna miss you, too, right? Yeah.
So, Vanden not only knew Aprox was dangerous, but they actually covered up the deaths of two teenage girls in India? Tell me you hit them where it hurts.
$6.
2 million, which sets the bar for every lawsuit to follow.
Another big case, another big win.
How do you do it, Larry? Well, I'd be remiss if I didn't mention my brilliant co-counsel, Jane Bingum.
Her examination of Vanden's C.
E.
O.
was a master class in trial advocacy.
It was almost like watching myself.
Thanks, Larry.
So, what's next for you? Some people would love to see you take on Wall Street.
I'm afraid Wall Street's gonna have to be someone else's battle.
I'd like to take the opportunity to announce my retirement.
I'm confident there are lawyers out there who can fight the good fight.
You heard it here first.
Lawrence Brand rides off into the sunset.
It's out to pa Anointed by Lawrence Brand himself.
Congratulations, counselor.
Thank you.
What's the matter? I just feel badly for Larry.
That's all.
Hey, uh, if you happen to be free, I was wondering if you wanted to go to an open house down the block.
Really? Roger called.
It's a ranch style, three bedroom, two bath, and a tree house in the backyard.
A tree house? Well, where else are the kids gonna play? - Kids?! - What?! No, I like the way that sounds.
- All right.
- And with the way you plan, - I suppose you already - Two boys and girl.
- Of course.
- Spaced three years apart.
Cameron, Jacob, and Zoe.
- And a dog named? - Violet.
You know, 'cause I like the name, but not enough for a kid.
I love you.
I love you, too.
- Come on.
- All right.
I thought I'd go straight to heaven, but there was a bit of a mix-up and I woke up in someone else's body.
So now I'm Jane, a super-busy lawyer with my very own assistant.
I got a new life, a new wardrobe, and the only people who really know what's going on with me are my girlfriend Stacy and my guardian angel, Luke.
I used to think everything happened for a reason Whoo! and I sure hope I was right.
Drop Dead Diva 4x12 - Picks and Pakes Original air date August 26, 2012 What are you doing? - I'm working on my TV smile.
- Ah.
I need to blend humility and confidence two parts Meryl Streep, one part Katie Couric.
My future wife on national TV arguing against Lawrence freakin' Brand.
You could not be hotter right now.
But you're gonna need more than a smile to keep up with him.
We're debating a celebrity's right to privacy.
I've had a subscription to "US Weekly" since I was 5.
That's an excellent point.
- Hey, my buddy Roger, the real-estate agent - Uh-huh.
he pulled some house listings for us.
- We can check them out tomorrow.
- Oh, that's great.
Oh, you know what? I'm so sorry.
I'm just really busy tomorrow.
Why aren't you more excited about house hunting? Is it the money? Because No.
It's Stacy.
You know? I haven't told her yet.
She is aware that when people get married, they generally live together.
Yes, of course.
But, you know, we haven't talked about it.
I mean, we just bought a new goldfish together.
Jane.
Jane wants her bridesmaids in French haute, but I want salsa hot, like this one.
Salsa gives me indigestion, and so does that.
Well, it doesn't matter because my date is my zumba instructor, and after one Margarita, the dress will be on the floor.
Mm! So, how about you, blondie? Who's your "plus one"? I've been working too hard to date, but there is a contender.
Don't be obvious, but look to your right.
Oh! She's cute! Good for you.
Expanding your horizons.
No, no, no.
The other right.
Oh.
Yeah.
I guess he'll do.
I don't even know his name.
He comes in here every day, smiles, and asks me all about the pakes, like, are the fillings canned or fresh? How do I make my crusts? Which ones have nuts? And then he leaves.
Oh, good lord.
Guys don't care about crust.
He wants to ask you out, but he just doesn't have the nuts.
Can I even date a customer? I mean, isn't there some sort of bakers' code? O-kay.
He's coming over.
Just be cool.
Um, excuse me.
- Hi.
- Hi.
I I noticed a a new pake on the display, the one with the green frosting.
Ohh.
It's my pistachio surprise.
Surprise my friend Stacy wants to go out with you.
Teri, no, mm.
Um How about lunch? She's free right now.
Well, okay! Teri, I can take it from here.
That sounds lovely.
Let me just change out of my apron.
Does a right to privacy truly exist in today's celebrity culture? Let's unleash the lawyers.
To my right, the man who took on Big Tobacco, Big Oil, Big Insurance, the Lawrence Brand.
Always nice to be here, Nancy.
And also with us, a guest that's new to the program, Joan Bingum.
Uh, it's it's Jane.
Jane, Joan.
Whatever.
More than ever, celebrities are whining their "privacy" is being "violated.
" Today's big question do celebs really have the right to gripe? Well, I believe that everyone in society is entitled to Once in the public eye, you can't ask the public to go blind.
Right, but the right to Celebrities can't have their star-studded cake and eat it, too.
Don't have to raise your hand.
Well, clearly, I do.
I think we can all agree that photographing Naomi Campbell when she's leaving rehab is a violation of Stop right there.
Excuse me? Your premise, "we can agree," it's presumptuous.
Let me tell you something, Larry I believe these celebrities erase the lines between public and private with every tweet, Facebook post, and sex tape they release.
Joan, response? Um Not much of a response.
Oh! No.
Yes, I do have a response! In Bernard v.
Iowa board of education, you successfully argued that the school had no right to search students' lockers because, and I quote, "a democratic society requires" "that privacy be a concrete right, not a flexible one.
" Oh, my goodness! She's right.
What? Did I just hear Lawrence Brand concede a point? But, frankly, I don't recall that case.
I think that both of you are making it up.
It was squeezed between Mr .
Brand's asbestos class-action and his product liability against a baby-food company.
Oh! - Ms.
Bingum - Yeah.
it seems you know more about me than my ex-wife.
Linda Brand a lovely woman you met as a young law student at Harvard.
Oh, my goodness.
Oh! Aah! Oh, God! I'm sorry.
Oh, God! Aah! I'm so sorry! - I am so sorry! - Get away! So, I was trying to bake a cake, but two pages of the cookbook got stuck together with vanilla extract, and then I ended up baking my cake in a pie crust.
I mean, pie plus cake equals pake.
Voilà ! We are all just one happy accident away from being a genius.
Did you just call me a genius? What if I did? You'd be the first.
Well, the first to say it without an exaggerated eye roll.
I have a proposal for you.
Ohh! I'm flattered, but I think you're moving a little fast there, Jonah.
The thing is, Stacy I own the patent on the pake.
I'm sorry.
What? Yeah.
Here here's the paperwork.
You've been profiting off my intellectual property something that I'm willing to overlook for half of your profits.
I think this is the worst date ever.
Teri, quit gawking.
Ugh.
It's like watching a "Hoarders" marathon.
I'm repulsed, but I can't look away.
Ah.
Thank you.
You know they've been on three dates already? She's like the Terminator of office romances first you, then Parker, now Luke.
Who's next Cory from the mailroom? Guess you missed the Christmas party.
Seriously, it's it's not that big of a deal.
Which part wasn't a big deal? When I spilled my drink on myself or when I elbowed Nancy Grace in the face? No, no, no, I'm telling you, no one even noticed.
Bingum! You're a star.
- You saw the show? - Been watching all afternoon.
- You've gone viral.
Check it out.
- What? Please pull up "Jane Bingum on 'Nancy Grace.
'" Oh! Aah! - Oh, God! I'm sorry.
Oh, God! - Aah! - Oh, my God! - Wow! What?! I Oh, God, Parker, I I'm so sorry.
Sorry? Are you kidding me? This is great publicity.
And it's free.
"No one noticed"? Yeah.
Look, I I I got to get to work.
I'll see you later? So, what was it like to meet your idol in the flesh? - My idol? - Lawrence Brand.
Is not my idol.
What what is that? A Lawrence Brand coffee mug.
You gave them out for Christmas a few years ago.
- Before your amnesia, you could not get enough of this guy.
- Get rid of it.
I never want to see that arrogant, self-congratulatory blowhard again.
Somebody call for an arrogant, self-congratulatory blowhard? What are you doing here? I want to hire you.
Okay.
Well, in case you haven't noticed, I have a job.
I've got a pretrial hearing against a huge drug company in a few hours.
Look, you're used to getting your way, - but let me tell you something, Larry.
- She's in.
Mr.
Brand has agreed to give us I've cleared your entire schedule.
Welcome aboard.
I grew up an only child, and my whole life all I've ever wanted to be was a mom.
It took us a while, but we finally got pregnant.
I it's okay.
Take your time.
During my my second trimester, I just didn't feel right.
My O.
B.
said I had antepartum depression, and she put me on Aprox.
A miracle drug.
The miracle is that it made it to the market, considering it can trigger miscarriages.
Sheila suffered a late-term miscarriage.
The trauma caused scarring of her fallopian tubes.
And now I can't ever get pregnant again.
I'm so sorry.
And once we're done with Vanden Pharmaceuticals, they will be sorry, too.
Vanden is facing a dozen lawsuits, and in court today, we'll be responding to their attempt to change counsel.
Now, that is just a ploy to extend discovery.
We are going to surprise them with an overwhelming and unassailable response.
Thank you.
No, thank you so much for coming in.
Okay, I'll bite.
What's our overwhelming and unassailable response? You have two hours to figure it out.
I don't understand.
You didn't fill out the patent form? Oh, no, I filled it out.
Two weeks before I opened the pakery.
Okay.
That's good news.
But on my way to the post office, I realized my groupon for lash dipping was expiring, and then I kind of forgot.
Stacy, this guy is a patent troll.
He looks for successful products that haven't been patented, then files the paperwork and tries to extort the true inventor.
I checked his records.
- He's done it before.
- So what are we gonna do? Well, he's a small-claims terrorist.
And since we don't negotiate with terrorists, we're taking him to court.
Thank you.
Stacy! Hey! - Hi! - Hi! I'm so glad you're here.
Actually, I I have something I've been meaning to discuss with you.
Jane, a troll is trying to steal my pakery! Did you fall asleep during "Game of Thrones" again? I never filed my patent.
- Oh, God, a patent troll! - Mm-Hmm.
Those guys are dirtier than dirt.
Teri said you were in with some big-shot attorney, so she sent me to Grayson for help.
That evil troll wants half the pakery.
And I feel like such an idiot! I have worked so hard for this! Sweetie, don't worry.
You're obviously in great hands with Grayson, and if you need me, I'm here.
Thank you! Of course.
Okay, so, what is it that you wanted to tell me? Oh, um, nothing important.
Just, Owen and I were it's nothing.
You know, we can talk later.
Yeah? Okay.
Bye.
Your Honor, their request to substitute counsel is a stall tactic.
Their drug caused a miscarriage and rendered my client infertile.
No more delays.
My client understands the stakes, Your Honor, but rushing a trial serves neither party's interest.
I don't like delays, Mr.
Hensley.
I understand, Your Honor, but California rule 3.
1332 states that "substitution is grounds for a continuance.
" "Only when it is in the interest of justice," which this isn't.
According to whom? William Penn, a founding father, who declared, "justice delayed is justice denied.
" Swift justice is a tenet in criminal trials, Mr.
Brand.
Do you have a precedent in civil context? Ah.
U.
S.
A.
vs.
Hayter Oil.
The court denied the party's motion on grounds it served no judicial purpose other than to delay.
Nice work, counselor.
We'll proceed to trial immediately.
That was amazing.
We really had, like, rhythm going.
Hand me my briefcase, please.
Okay.
Sure.
So Well, you're welcome.
Are we all set for tomorrow you and me, house hunting? Does it have to be tomorrow? You didn't talk to Stacy? Yeah, she's just not in the right headspace.
All right.
All right.
Well, if I hadn't seen Lawrence Brand in action today, I might be annoyed.
He was pretty good, I guess.
You guess? Did you see what he did with "justice delayed is justice denied"? He set up a trap for opposing counsel and, bam! Okay, he did have help.
You know, the William Penn quote, that was all me.
And I handed him that card at exactly the right moment.
So, bam! I am merely pointing out the eloquence with which he expressed himself.
He was expressing my words, thank you very much.
Of course, and Jimi Hendrix had an amazing guitar.
So I'm just a guitar? You know, if you love Lawrence Brand so much, maybe you should marry him.
It would double my wardrobe.
Clearly, I'm not gonna win here, so I'm gonna go to bed.
And if you'd like to join me, no more talk about Lawrence Brand.
Lawrence who? Bam.
Larry, it's Jane.
Again.
Where are you? Ms.
Bingum? I'm so sorry, Your Honor.
My co-counsel will be here in one minute.
That's what you said five minutes ago.
Your Honor, Mr.
Brand argued vehemently to rush this case.
Now he can't bother to show up? Justice delayed is justice denied, right? Ms.
Bingum, call your first witness.
Mr.
Brand is first chair.
Are you a member of the bar? Yes.
Then if you don't want a mistrial, call your witness.
Uh, I call my client, Sheila Reese, to the stand.
Mrs.
Reese, you were six months' pregnant when you began suffering from depression.
That's right.
And you were prescribed Aprox? Uh, y yes, I took it for a few weeks, and and I got better.
And then one morning, I woke up in incredible pain.
It's okay.
Take your time.
There was blood everywhere.
I had lost my baby.
Our baby.
Nothing further.
Mrs.
Reese, I'm very sorry for your loss.
In your deposition, you said that you don't take prescription drugs.
Aprox was the first one I've taken in years.
Then, on may 8th of this year, you didn't order Percocet from an online provider? We can provide a receipt.
My back was in spasm.
Are you aware that Percocet a prescription drug requires a doctor's consultation prior to use if you're pregnant? We'd like to enter this package insert as defense exhibit 1.
I didn't take that drug.
I read the warning and threw the pills away.
You miscarried two weeks after you ordered the Percocet.
Isn't that true? - I didn't take that drug.
- Objection! - Overruled.
- Yes or no.
- Yes, but I - Thank you.
We'll take a recess here.
We need to talk.
Come on.
How could you begin without me? You were late.
I was stuck in traffic.
Trial advocacy 101 if the driver's not behind the wheel, don't start the bus! I stalled as long as I could! What was I supposed to do?! You stall some more! File a frivolous motion, amend your witness list, feign illness and that's just off the top of my head.
Do you know why I've never lost a case? Oh, I'm sure you're gonna tell me.
Because I don't get surprised on cross.
Our client ordered Percocet, and a first-year law student knows you have to get that kind of information in front of the jury before the other side! Had I known about the Percocet beforehand, I would have! The info was in the file! I hired you because I thought you'd be an adequate second fiddle, not an ill-prepared amateur! I'm I'm sorry, okay? No, it's not okay.
I promised my client we'd win her case, and you put that in jeopardy.
Lawrence said I should have known about the Percocet.
I cannot find this information anywhere.
I don't see why you're beating yourself up about it.
Lawrence was the one who was late.
Are you sure this is everything? I'm sure.
And we've been through everything twice.
Heard you had an interesting day in court.
What? I'm not in the mood, Kim.
What do you want? Oh, I was just at the courthouse around 9:00 A.
M.
this morning and witnessed an epic fight between Lawrence Brand and a bailiff in an empty courtroom.
Doesn't even make any sense.
At 9:00 A.
M.
, Lawrence was stuck in traffic.
No, it was definitely him.
He claimed he was in the right court and demanded to know why everyone else was missing.
Your Honor, we have the signed and dated patent application for the pake.
There's nothing to litigate here.
My client owns the pake.
End of story.
Nice try, but per the patent reform act of 2011, first to invent trumps first to file.
I'm confused.
Um, what exactly is a pake? I am so glad you asked.
It is a delicious dessert half pie, half cake.
I brought one for you.
And it's not a bribe, unless you want it to be.
Thank you, honey.
I'm sure it's delicious.
But I really shouldn't.
And I have miss Barrett's lease agreement dated June 24th for her business, called "The Pakery," which predates Mr.
Pierce's patent application by six weeks.
Mm-hmm.
Mr.
Pierce.
I keep a journal.
I'd like to read you my entry from Wednesday, June 17th.
Of course.
Go ahead.
"Feeling a bit down this morning.
" "I decided to bake a cake," "but the pages of the cookbook stuck together," "and I baked my cake in a pie crust.
" "It's genius.
I think I just invented" Liar! That's my story! I told him all about it when I thought we were on a date.
You are a story-stealing, pake-faking, fake-flirting terrorist! Enough, enough.
Uh, do either one of you have a witness? Um, sadly, no.
I I create a la carte.
Nikki Lepree saw me invent the pake.
She even took pictures on her bedazzled cellphone.
We do have a witness, Your Honor.
We'll need some time to track her down.
Okay.
We'll reconvene tomorrow.
I think I may need that extra hour in the gym.
Bailiff, get me that pake.
We're adjourned.
Nikki Lepree is a con artist who disappeared into thin air after stealing my money.
How are we gonna find her? I don't know.
But we've got 24 hours.
Guess who's been manscaping.
In what universe would I want to know that? I plan on picking up my option on Kim tonight.
You've been on multiple dates, and you still haven't exercised that option? Teri, in my vast experience, a woman is like an aircraft.
Some need a long runway, others take off like a Learjet.
Kim is somewhere between the spruce goose and a rocket ship.
Luke.
Hey, there.
Yeah, I'm sorry to have to do this last minute, but I have to cancel tonight.
Okay.
No problem.
How about this weekend? I'm busy.
So much for liftoff.
I got your message.
What's the good news? I called a buddy from the justice department.
He's been scouring databases looking for all of Nikki's aliases, but nothing.
Still waiting for the good news.
Well, I had him run one more search a list of everyone who's been looking for information about Nikki Lepree.
Since she ripped me off, she must have ripped off other people, and maybe one of them found her.
You're like dog the bounty hunter! Stacy, I found someone matching Nikki's description using your name.
Oh my God.
Where is she? That's the best part.
You're in jail.
I can't believe you're in jail! And it's your fault! I get pulled over for speeding, end up in here because the real Stacy Barrett has 30 unpaid parking tickets.
- What's wrong with you? - What is wrong with me? I couldn't afford to pay those tickets because you stole all my money! - Who gives $5,000 to a complete stranger? - Ladies.
Ladies! Look, Nikki, Stacy needs your help.
Her pakery is being sued and Wait.
You actually went through with the half-pie, half-cake idea? That was a joke.
Well, the joke is on you, because I'm a big success and you're wearing orange polyester! Well, I'm only in jail because of your unpaid parking tickets.
Nikki, here's the offer.
We post your bail.
You swear in court that Stacy invented the pake.
Wait.
You think I'm gonna testify as Nikki Lepree? I'd be arrested before the judge even put his robe on.
Well, then, how about we don't bail you out and we tell everyone that you ripped off that you're here? Do you want to come closer and say that again? No, thank you.
Nikki, do you have photos of Stacy making her first pake? Sure.
They're in my phone in the evidence locker.
Fine.
Final offer we bail you out, you give us the phone, you disappear.
And you say you're sorry and tell me how you get your skin so glowy, even in jail.
I'm waiting.
Ms.
Keating, you're head of research for Vanden Pharmaceuticals.
That's right.
Now, your company asserts there's no correlation between Aprox and miscarriages, yet on the packaging it says "may not be suitable for use during pregnancy.
" Why is that? We never tested the drug on pregnant women.
It's industry standard to include the warning.
And yet 10% of Aprox's profits come from pregnant women.
Tell the truth, Miss Keating.
Vanden aggressively pushes this drug on pregnant women knowing full well the extreme addiction associated with nicotine, correct? You also regularly sell cigarettes by the truckload to high-school students.
Can you explain that? Your Honor objection? What do cigarettes have to do with this case? Mr.
Brand? My co-counsel is pointing out that that Vanden, like Big Tobacco, doesn't care how many lives it damages in its pursuit of profit.
And we have nothing further at this time, Your Honor.
Okay.
We'll pick it up here tomorrow.
You okay? What was that all about? Mr.
Brand knows exactly what he's doing.
Okay.
Uh Excuse me.
Larry.
Larry.
Jane, no offense, you seemed a little confused in there.
Yeah, see, I am confused, because you were talking about cigarettes and nicotine.
No, I wasn't.
Maybe you have some kind of inner-ear problem.
- Just do your job, okay? - I'm doing my job.
In fact, I just saved your ass in there.
Look, there's no time for this kind of drama.
I have to go pick up my expert witness from the airport.
Whoa.
What expert witness? Oh, God.
It's in the file! No! No, it's not in the file! Stop saying that! Jane.
Owen, did you just hear him? Yes, I did.
Something is very wrong with Lawrence Brand.
Linda, thank you so much for meeting me.
- You said it was about Lawrence.
- Yeah.
But before we start, I want to make it clear.
Um, look, we're not married anymore, but if you're looking for dirt, then I'll just leave right now.
No, like I said, I'm just working on a case with him, and and, honestly, I'm worried.
How so? Why? He's a brilliant lawyer.
Oh, absolutely.
I I don't want to overstep.
It's just There have been some mental lapses and erratic behavior.
Oh, God.
He says things he doesn't remember saying.
He he disappears without explanation and then denies all of it.
Yeah.
Well, Ms.
Bingum, I know what's going on.
It's Pick's disease.
It's a form of frontal-lobe degeneration.
And you're sure he has it? Symptoms include memory lapses, mood swings, and impulsive behavior.
That could be Teri on a Saturday night.
According to his ex-wife, both Brand's father and grandfather suffered from it.
So, he's either facing his biggest fear or - In total denial.
- Yeah.
But either way, how do we handle this? Well, concern for Lawrence aside, you have a responsibility to your client and an ethical obligation to the bar to make him step down.
But what if he refuses? I mean, it's Lawrence Brand.
Then you go to the judge.
You force him out.
And photo number 3 is the third attempt at the maple pecan pake.
It was so yummy, we knew we had finally nailed it.
Your Honor, we were promised testimony from a witness, not a bunch of unsourced photos.
As an officer of the court, I attest that these photos came directly from a Ms.
Nikki Lepree, the witness.
No offense, but that Nikki looks computer-generated.
No one's skin is that glowy in real life.
Her skin really is that glowy.
I swear, it's like a baby seal, even in jail.
- Oh, God.
- Wait.
Wait.
In jail? I'm sorry, but their mystery witness is a criminal? We move to have the photos stricken from the record.
I'll take that under consideration and issue my ruling tomorrow.
But, Mr.
Kent, you should know better.
We're done.
I'm sorry.
I screwed up.
Stacy, why did it take you three attempts to make that pake? Because the pie crust cooks at a different rate than the cake.
Why? Just curious.
Jane.
- Hey, Luke.
- Hey.
I need some advice.
You know how I'm dating Kim, right? Yes.
And ew.
I'm sorry.
That came out wrong.
What I meant to say was "ew!" Anyway, she seems to have lost interest, and I was hoping that you Luke, in about five minutes, I've got to tell one of the world's greatest trial lawyers that he's got to step down.
Okay.
So, we all have our problems.
Back to Kim and me.
Okay, yeah.
Sure.
There is one sure way to get Kim in bed.
I'm listening.
Jane, Lawrence is ready for you.
Great.
I got to go.
Good luck.
You spoke to my ex-wife? Well, like you said, even a first-year law student knows you need to get in front of the information that might sink your case.
First-years also know if they get their facts wrong, they don't make it to year two.
It's Pick's disease, right? Early onset.
If you think I'm unfit to practice, report me to the bar! If you walk out that door, that's my next stop.
Larry You got lost on the way to court.
You failed to include a major piece of evidence in the client's file, and you argued a 15-year-old tobacco case mid-trial.
Just let me drive the bus from here on out.
What message would that send to the other side? That Lawrence Brand has such confidence in this case, he's letting his associate bring it home.
Fine.
Okay.
You can question the expert witness.
Again, Larry, what expert witness? Dr.
David Kane he's collected data on the ill effects of Aprox on pregnant women.
That's that's great news.
And he'll testify that Vanden Pharmaceuticals tested Aprox on pregnant women in India with catastrophic results.
Supposedly two teens in Gujarat bled out and died post-miscarriage.
Wait, wait, wait.
Stop.
We can't do "supposedly.
" Unless I have proof that these stories are true, I cannot ask Dr.
Kane about them.
The judge will declare a mistrial.
You're driving the bus.
Oh.
Hi.
Um, I'm looking for Jane or Owen? Uh, sorry.
They're both at work.
I'm Owen's friend, Roger O'Neil.
Oh, right.
You're one of the groomsmen.
Yeah.
Come on in.
Thank you.
So, I'm Stacy, Jane's maid of honor.
It's nice to meet you, Stacy.
Can you do me a favor? Um, I'm a real estate agent, and I brought over a few listings for them to look at.
Oh.
They're looking for a house.
Yeah.
It's exciting, isn't it? Of course.
So exciting.
I mean, it makes total sense.
'Cause she's moving.
On with her life.
Out of this house and in with Owen.
You and Jane never had the talk, did you? I've seen this before.
She doesn't want to make you sad, and you don't want to step on her joy.
So, nobody says anything till the moving van shows up.
And we just bought that new goldfish together.
You know what? I hope you find them a really nice house.
I will.
In fact, a few of those listings, they're on this block.
How about I show them those first? That would be really great.
Please state your name and occupation.
Dr.
David Kane, research director of the Pharma Oversight Foundation, dedicated to drug safety.
And have you researched Aprox, the drug in question? Yes.
We determined that a woman's chance of miscarriage increases by 14%.
Based on that data, Pharma Oversight lists Aprox as unsafe for pregnant women.
Thank you.
Dr.
Kane is it also true that in February of 2006, your wife had an adverse reaction to a Vanden antibiotic? Objection! Relevance.
Goes to bias against my client.
I'll allow it.
What happened to my wife doesn't change the data.
If you say so.
Redirect? No.
We are fine.
- Actually, we do have one question.
- No.
No.
Dr.
Kane, what can you tell us about an Aprox study that was supposedly conducted in India and then buried because of catastrophic results? Objection, Your Honor! That is outrageous! Counselors, sidebar.
Now! Counsel knows there is no buried study.
By implying to the jury that we are hiding data, he has unfairly prejudiced that jury.
It's not a lie if we have proof.
Fantastic.
Where is this proof? In a sealed envelope in a safe-deposit box.
I'll need a brief continuance to go get it.
You have until morning to deliver this study, Mr.
Brand.
If you don't, I'm going to dismiss this case with prejudice.
We're adjourned.
You were supposed to sit there and be quiet.
Did you see the looks on their faces when I told them what we had? We don't have anything! They're scared, Jane.
Because I have the study.
There's nothing here.
Big Tobacco is going down.
We're fighting a pharmaceutical company.
- You seem upset.
- I am upset! You just lost the case.
This is entirely my fault.
I mean, I allowed a sick man to take the floor in open court.
No, you can't blame yourself.
I'm gonna beg this judge for a mistrial.
I mean, the firm will get a black eye, but at least Sheila might get a chance at a retrial.
Unless Unless? Unless Lawrence isn't crazy.
No, I know, Pick's disease, but what if his strategy is sound? He handed me a blank piece of paper and told me, "Big Tobacco is going down.
" What if he's playing the wrong sport but he's making the right play? - Honey, I I don't follow.
- Okay.
Do you remember when we first started dating and I invited you over to watch "Footloose" on DVD? Yes.
But never watched it.
We just spent the night making out on your couch.
Guess what.
I never got the DVD.
The store was out.
- Uh - Do you recall how Lawrence won the case against Big Tobacco? He dug up the now-famous confidential Kelly memo and threatened to enter it into court, forcing the exec on the stand to plead the fifth.
Oh, my God! Those court records were sealed, and Lawrence never had to disclose that memo.
What if the Kelly memo was like the DVD of "Footloose"? You assumed I had it.
And you still got what you wanted.
I certainly did.
That was a fun night.
It certainly was.
A pake-off? Your Honor, this is a court of law, - not "Top Chef.
" - It's simple.
Mr.
Pierce says he invented the pake.
Well, if that's the case, he should be able to make one.
And if his pake is as good as Stacy's, she'll not only concede the patent, she'll hand over the lease to her pakery.
Works for me.
Mmm.
Ms.
Barrett, good job.
Mr.
Pierce? This isn't looking good.
It's burnt on the bottom and raw in the middle.
That's because a cake and a pie crust cook at different temperatures.
It took me like three tries to figure that out.
- Ms.
Barrett, the patent is yours.
- Your Honor Mr.
Pierce, you've got bigger problems.
I intend to review every single one of your patents in light of what you pulled here today.
No one likes a troll.
Yes! Ms.
Bingum, Mr.
Brand, was I not promised a document? Yes, Your Honor.
But in order to establish foundation, I need to ask Ms.
Keating just a few questions.
Limit your questions to authentication.
Ms.
Keating, you remain under oath.
Your company performs clinical drug trials in India.
- Correct? - Occasionally.
And every foreign drug trial requires an investigator's brochure, yes? Yes, that's the process.
This brochure is a real-time living document that keeps your company abreast of the recent developments? That's right.
Every doctor who participates in this study has real-time access to this brochure for the duration of the study? Yes.
So, hypothetically, if a drug company wanted to cover up a study, they would have to ensure that none of the participating physicians retained a copy of the brochure, right? Objection.
Relevance.
Sustained.
No more hypotheticals, Ms.
Bingum.
Okay.
Forget the hypotheticals.
Let's talk about the Aprox clinical trial done on pregnant women in Gujarat, India.
Several local doctors helped recruit participants There was no such study.
You are aware of the penalty for perjury? - Objection.
Badgering.
- My apologies.
But for the record, I mean, just in case Ms.
Keating does have questions about perjury, I have an A.
D.
A.
in the back row, at my invitation.
Last question.
Isn't it true that two pregnant teenage girls miscarried and bled to death in Gujarat, India, during the Aprox clinical trials? Do I have to answer that? Your Honor, at this time, my client exercises her fifth amendment right to not incriminate herself.
All right, that's enough! Calm down! Kim Hey.
I like you.
I mean, I really like you.
That's sweet.
And we had a good time hanging out.
We talked for hours.
We laughed.
We got to third base.
We got to second.
Well, we were rounding third.
I just need to know did I do something wrong? No.
No.
Look, Luke We did have fun, but we can't date.
Why not? It's complicated.
I'm a good listener.
I'll take you out to dinner.
No pressure.
- We can just - I really appreciate that - Come on.
You pick the restaurant.
- We can't date! Okay? We can't date because I'm pregnant.
And that's why I've been avoiding you.
I'm sorry.
Wow.
Um I'm really not ready to talk about it, so if you don't mind Okay.
Uh I'm here if you need me.
Thank you.
Excuse me.
Hi.
I'm looking for the patent holder of the pake.
That would be me.
Aw.
Grayson told me the good news.
Congratulations.
And congrats to you, too.
I heard you had a big win in court.
I did.
Thanks.
Um, I was wondering if maybe we could talk about something.
Me first.
Okay, so you know how I didn't have a date to the wedding? - Yeah.
- I've got one.
- You do?! - I do! And I just want to make sure it's not gonna mess up the seating chart.
Oh, no.
It'll be great.
Who is it? Roger.
Owen's friend.
The realtor.
You met our realtor.
I did.
And he is going to find an awesome house for you two.
Thanks, Stace.
You know I'm really happy for you, right? You know how much I'm gonna miss you, too, right? Yeah.
So, Vanden not only knew Aprox was dangerous, but they actually covered up the deaths of two teenage girls in India? Tell me you hit them where it hurts.
$6.
2 million, which sets the bar for every lawsuit to follow.
Another big case, another big win.
How do you do it, Larry? Well, I'd be remiss if I didn't mention my brilliant co-counsel, Jane Bingum.
Her examination of Vanden's C.
E.
O.
was a master class in trial advocacy.
It was almost like watching myself.
Thanks, Larry.
So, what's next for you? Some people would love to see you take on Wall Street.
I'm afraid Wall Street's gonna have to be someone else's battle.
I'd like to take the opportunity to announce my retirement.
I'm confident there are lawyers out there who can fight the good fight.
You heard it here first.
Lawrence Brand rides off into the sunset.
It's out to pa Anointed by Lawrence Brand himself.
Congratulations, counselor.
Thank you.
What's the matter? I just feel badly for Larry.
That's all.
Hey, uh, if you happen to be free, I was wondering if you wanted to go to an open house down the block.
Really? Roger called.
It's a ranch style, three bedroom, two bath, and a tree house in the backyard.
A tree house? Well, where else are the kids gonna play? - Kids?! - What?! No, I like the way that sounds.
- All right.
- And with the way you plan, - I suppose you already - Two boys and girl.
- Of course.
- Spaced three years apart.
Cameron, Jacob, and Zoe.
- And a dog named? - Violet.
You know, 'cause I like the name, but not enough for a kid.
I love you.
I love you, too.
- Come on.
- All right.