Ducktales (1987) s02e03 Episode Script

- Life is like a hurricane - Here in Duckburg - Race cars, lasers, airplanes - it's a duck-blur - Might solve a mystery - Or rewrite history - DuckTales Ooh-woo-ooh - Everyday they're out there making - DuckTales Ooh-woo-ooh - Tales of derring-do Bad and good luck tales - D-d-d-danger - Watch behind you - There's a stranger out to find you - What to do? Just grab on to some - DuckTales Ooh-woo-ooh - Everyday they're out there making - DuckTales Ooh-woo-ooh - Tales of derring-do Bad and good luck tales - Ooh-woo-ooh Not pony tales or cotton tales, no - DuckTales Ooh-woo-ooh - [narrator.]
To stop Glomgold from stealing a fortune, Scrooge went back in time, so he could leave his marker and prove he really owned the secret diamond mine.
But when he landed in one million B.
C.
, he met Bubba, a young cave-duck.
Stop that.
Bubba adored Scrooge.
- But the feeling wasn't mutual.
- Scooge! Scooge! Stop! Unhand me, you pea-brained prehistoric! Things got worse when Scrooge found stowaways along for the trip home.
[Scrooge.]
At last, back in the [Engine sputters.]
[All screaming.]
[Launchpad.]
Yo, Gearloose.
- Launchpad? - We're back, and coming down fast.
But you just left.
Cut the jibber-jabber and put out something for us to land on! [Gulps.]
Got you! [Screaming.]
Aw, shucks.
I've had bigger wrecks than this with a shopping cart.
Are you OK, Mr.
McDuck? Did you go back in time? Did everything go according to plan? Hello.
- [Shrieks.]
- Not exactly, no.
- Egg? - No, Bubba.
That's a light bulb.
You see with it.
- [Electricity crackles.]
- [Bulb breaks.]
- Moo? - That's a phone.
You talk on it.
Am I wrong, or did you go back more than three days? About a million years more.
Leaping lug nuts, this is terrible! You may have changed history.
- But everything's still the same.
- Not for them it's not.
[Gyro.]
I told you.
Toy with time and you're asking for trouble.
[Sniffing.]
Poppycock! Just patch up the Millennium Shortcut, and we'll send that beast back where he belongs.
- What? - Scooge, food! Oww! Get this off me! Don't be mad, Uncle Scrooge.
He didn't mean it.
Yeah, he just doesn't understand how anything works.
Gyro.
Fix that machine before I fix his wagon! Roger Wilcox! [Huey.]
Here we are, Bubba.
Your new home.
Whoa! Big cave.
Hurry, Webbigail! Mr.
McDuck has returned with guests? - Mrs.
Beakley! - Hello, boys! Oh, boy! Did we miss you! My goodness! Bubba hugga! Ooh! Friendly, isn't he? Oh, Uncle Scrooge, you're back! Did you bring me something? [Gasps.]
[Squeaks, slurps.]
Oh! [giggles.]
Wow! A pony! Can I keep her? - That's no pony! - It's a triceratops.
"Tricycle-pops?" Oh, you don't know anything! - I do too! Uh-huh! - Do not! - Do not! - Do too! Quiet! If you don't mind some of us have work to do.
So why don't you children go and play.
- Not you! - Aw, gee! Now, we've got a lot to do.
Mrs.
Beakley But what about, uh, Bubba? Shouldn't we do Never mind him! From the moment I laid eyes on that kid, he's been nothing but bad news.
[Whooshing.]
Oh, bye-bye! Now listen.
I'm going to tell the world that I've outfoxed Glomgold again, and that those diamonds are still mine! - But how are you going to do that? - I'm going to go on the TV news [chuckles.]
Not if you're dressed like that.
- [Vacuum slows.]
- Ah! You! You [growls.]
And so, let me present Bubba Duck who is here from one million B.
C.
Hello.
[Microphone feedback.]
And he's not staying! It's hot.
It's controversial.
It's our topic for the day.
Are Scrooge's million-year-old markers really legal? - [All.]
Yes! - There you have it.
Even as Bubba, the prehistoric duck, and Tootsie, his pet Triceratops, were getting the red-carpet treatment in Duckburg, the Supreme Court ruled that Scrooge McDuck's claim to the Duckbill Diamond Mine is valid.
And, that his rival, world-renowned zillionaire and cheat, Flintheart Glomgold, is out of there! Quick! Give me something to throw.
Uh, here.
Aah! That vase is worth a quarter-million dollars! Not any more.
Blast Scrooge! He's double-crossed my double-cross.
[Sighs.]
Too bad we can't get that Bubba duck on our side.
Then we could really clip McDuck's wings.
That's it! If we could grab that prehistoric freak, I could brainwash him.
So, when Scrooge sends him back in time, he'll destroy those blasted markers! And with no markers, Scrooge loses the diamonds, right? Boys, get me that cave-duck! [Yawning.]
This is the first I've relaxed since we've got back.
Just me and my money! [Bubba.]
Scooge! - Oh, shiny! - Give me that! Aw, be nice, Uncle Scrooge.
Bubba likes you.
- Besides - I know, I know.
He doesn't understand! - Uh-uh.
- Well, understand this: This is my "shiny.
" These are all my "shinies!" - [Dewey.]
Well, can't he have just one? - [Scrooge.]
No! [Munching.]
Give me that! Down! Bad! [Whimpering.]
Perfectly good money down the gullet of a two-ton billy goat! [Huffs.]
I've got to get them out of here before they eat me out of house and bin! You've got to help me, Gyro.
How long before I can mail that Neander-duck home? One more day and the Millennium Shortcut will be fixed.
Great! Then all my problems will be solved.
Well not really, no.
No? You know, I've been thinking.
What if history is like a jigsaw puzzle? Gyro, you've been working too hard.
Just listen.
When you brought Bubba back, you left a hole in the puzzle.
So? Well, after a million years, the hole's gotten bigger.
Oh, exactly how big? Well, if the puzzle, uh history, were as big as Duckburg, the hole could be as big as your money-bin.
Are you telling me that cave-kid could cost me my fortune? Could be! [Grunts.]
I do not believe in that nonsense! I only believe in this.
See? It's starting already.
[Scrooge screams.]
I can't sleep, can't eat, can't think.
The stock market just dropped 50 points.
And I'll bet it's because of that hairy hitchhiker! [Fire crackling.]
- Morning, sir.
- Morning, Duckworth.
What in blue blazes? Bubba find food! No! Don't, Uncle Scrooge.
Don't "Don't Uncle Scrooge" me! Gyro was right.
Bubba's already costing me money.
I've got to get him away from me.
I know.
You can take care of him.
But we got to go to school.
Fine! Take him to school.
Take him to the zoo.
Take him to the cleaners What? Aah! But just take him away from me! No hungry? Come on, Bubba.
Oh, look funny.
We promise, Bubba.
You'll fit in fine.
[Girl.]
Hey, it's the cave-duck! [Clamoring.]
Children, children! Take your seats.
Oh! I see we have a visitor today.
The famous cave-duck.
- Hello! - Bubba.
Oh, how nice So what do you think of our world? - Huh? - Well, do you like movies? Uh Do you like comic books? School? Well, there must be something you like.
Tunes! [Pop music playing.]
[Clanging.]
- He's a rocker - From the past - Proving rock and roll really lasts - He's a cave-duck - With rhythm - Get some rocks so he can hit 'em - The original rolling stone - Certified from way back home - Bubba, Bubba - You gotta love a Bubba - Bubba, Bubba - We choose the Bubba duck! Hubba, hubba, hubba - - Bubba hits the rocks with a - - Clubba - - Bubba takes a bath in a - - Bubba tubba - - Bubba like to eat his - - Bubba grubba - - Bubba makes a goof, it's a - - Bubba flubba - Hubba, hubba go Bubba, hubba, hubba go - Bubba, hubba, hubba go Bubba, hubba, hubba, hubba - Bubba, Bubba - They've got to have that Bubba - Bubba, Bubba - We choose the Bubba duck! - Bubba, Bubba - She's got to have that Bubba - Bubba, Bubba - He is the Bubba duck - - [cheering.]
- [Gasps.]
You.
Out! Go on home, Bubba.
We have to stay after school.
Ohh, pooka.
Ready, Bouncer? Here he comes.
[Chuckles.]
Hi! Want to play with me? - Ooka.
- Goody! You sit right there.
Now say "bye-bye.
" Bye-bye.
Hey! Where did he go? Fun! Now, Bubba.
[Gulps.]
Bye-bye.
[Door opens.]
Lunchtime, Mr.
McDuck.
I have lost my appetite.
Thanks to Tootsie and Bubba.
Gracious me, you're so cross with that little fellow.
That little fellow is a curse.
If I don't get him out of here soon, I'll lose everything! It's not his fault you took him out of his time.
It's not my fault, either! Bah! All I did was visit the past.
Now my future's at stake! - [Glass breaking.]
- Scooge! Help! Save me, hide me! Don't let him near me! Mr.
McDuck, you should be ashamed.
He's just lonely.
Fine and dandy.
Then you spend time with him.
All right then, I will! The Duckburg Rose Society always has such a lovely soiree.
So genteel, so refined, so - Party! - Exactly.
Oh, Madeline! It's Mrs.
Parvenue, the society chairwoman.
Let's go say hello.
And remember what I taught you.
Stay! OK, new plan.
If we kidnap the dinosaur, the cave-kid will do whatever we say.
Hey, you're eating the bait! Sorry.
Bubba, I want you to meet Mrs.
Parvenue.
A pleasure.
And these are Mrs.
Parvenue's prize roses.
Aren't they delicious? Uh, needs salt.
[Sniffing.]
Good, huh? Follow me.
- [Shrieks.]
- Get in there, you overgrown iguana! [Tootsie shrieking.]
- What is it? - Tootsie! - Hold! - Oh, dear! A pleasure.
[Screams.]
Ride on, Shoe-Boy! [Shrieks.]
Tootsie? Tootsie! Let's get out of here! Nine hundred for the tent.
Twelve hundred for the gazebo! And 4,200 dollars for the rose bushes! And I've been banned by the Rose Society until May of 1999! But Mrs.
Beakley Scooge! [Groaning.]
Oh, him glad to see us.
[Doorbell rings.]
Hiya, Mr.
McD I want you to baby-sit Bubba and Tootsie.
I'm out of here.
No! Wait.
Stop! Hey, I'm dumb, but I'm not crazy.
The time machine will be ready soon.
You keep Bubba and Tootsie away from me until then, and you can name your price.
Sorry, Mr.
McD.
I absolutely, positively cannot be bribed.
Even with a new scarf? - Deal! - Good! Now, get going and take those cave-cretins with you! [Launchpad.]
Yo, Bubba! Time for your walkies.
- Whew! - [Horns honking.]
Hi-yo, Tootsie! Come on, Bubba, get this glue bucket in gear! Hey, look, it's Ma.
She must have broke out of jail! [Bouncer.]
That's not Ma, it's Big Time.
Oh, yeah.
Ma's beard is darker.
Come to grandma, Bubba, baby.
And I'll give you a little gift.
Young fellow! Would you know any Junior Woodchucks who could help an old woman cross the street? Woodchuck! Any second now! Shiny! Give to Scooge! - [Burger Beagle shouts.]
- [Big Time.]
Hey, what are you doing?! Just stop it, you! [Bouncer.]
Uh, whoops.
- [Burger.]
Sorry, Big Time.
- Sorry, Big Time.
[Big Time groans.]
Lady gone.
Hey, you don't get a merit badge for losing them, little buddy.
Guys, this is the Duckburg Museum.
I figured maybe you'd like to see a little of the great outdoors, indoors.
Besides, you might run into somebody you used to know.
- [Laughing.]
- [Both gasping.]
[Shrieking.]
Hey, relax! They're fakes.
Scientists say that the Triceratops was a slow-moving, gentle creature.
[Guide.]
What do they know? [Screaming.]
[Shrieking.]
[Whimpering.]
Ohh, buzza wuzza wuzza wuzza.
[Clamoring.]
Bubba! Scooge! How much longer, Gyro? Working on the bombastium now, Mr.
McDuck.
Another two hours.
[Buzz.]
- Someone to see you, Mr.
McDuck.
- I don't want to see anybody - [Bubba.]
Help! - No! Get away.
Back! Back! [Panting.]
Bubba miss Scooge.
No! Get away from my bin! [Stammering.]
- Listen.
You can help me.
- Bubba, help? Aye! Come this way.
Here's all you have to do.
Make sure none of these drips.
See? - No drip.
Got that? - No drip! There's a good lad.
Oh, that's better.
Oh, much better.
That ought to keep him out of trouble.
- [Voice.]
You're a sad person, McDuck! - Ah! Who are you? I'm your conscience, laddie! And I know deep down inside, you like that kid.
He's a walking disaster area.
And he's making me lose money! It's not that kid, it's you! You're feeling guilty 'cause you've turned his life upside down.
The minute you stop blaming the boy, your troubles will be over.
You You really think so? No drip! No drip! Snake! Snake! [Shouting.]
Snake! [Whimpers.]
- [Shouting.]
- [Shrieking.]
[Gasps.]
Scooge! Scooge! Hey! The kid's in the money-bin.
We'll never get him now! [Big Time.]
Look! It's the brat.
You! Nice mans Help Bubba? Certainly! You're right! I've handled worse disasters than this.
Because I'm tougher than the toughies, and smarter than the smarties.
There's the spirit! I'm going to apologize to the wee tyke, and everything's going to be OK.
Now you're talking.
Toodle-oo! Silly old me.
Afraid I was going to lose my money-bin.
Imagine that.
Yeah, imagine that! [Gasps.]
- Scooge! - [Shrieks.]