Ducktales (1987) s02e07 Episode Script

- Life is like a hurricane - Here in Duckburg - Racecars, lasers, airplanes - it's a duck-blur - Might solve a mystery - Or rewrite history - DuckTales Ooh-woo-ooh - Every day they're out there making - DuckTales Ooh-woo-ooh - Tales of derring-do, Bad and good luck tales - D-d-d-danger - Watch behind you - There's a stranger out to find you - What to do? Just grab onto some - DuckTales Ooh-woo-ooh - Every day they're out there making - DuckTales Ooh-woo-ooh - Tales of derring-do, Bad and good luck tales - Ooh-woo-ooh Not pony tails or cotton tails, no - DuckTales Ooh-woo-ooh - Last time on DuckTales: The Beagle Boys altered the city's new freeway plans to go through Scrooge's property.
Forced to move his money bin, Scrooge hires an accountant.
Look no further, Mr.
McDuck! I'm the accountant you can count on.
Fenton Crackshell's the name.
Near grad of the Banana Branflakes Bucks For Ducks Business Brochure Courts.
To protect it, Fenton decides to make Scrooge's assets liquid.
Dump my money in the lake? Of all the idiotic, bagpipe-brained ideas.
But the Beagle Boys soon find it.
OK, boys, it's show time.
Yaaah! Fenton! You come back here this instant with my money! Now if those sandbags do the trick, the cash should end up just where we wants it.
[Bouncer.]
Go, go, go! [Rumbling.]
Now, that's what I call a cash flow! What's that moron doing in my moolah? Uh, the Watoosie? What a nightmare! All my money bogged down in the Beagle Boys' backyard.
Aw, relax, Uncle Scrooge.
Fenton was trying his best.
All that dunderhead ever tries is my patience.
[Door opens.]
Announcing a dripping dunderhead.
Uh, boss, before you boot my backside to Boston, give me half a minute to explain.
Basically, your bucks aren't budging.
According to my Banana Branflakes Bucks For Ducks Business Brochure, your best bet is to freeze your assets.
Ah! This from a man who thought "liquid assets" meant dumping my cash into a lake.
Uh, well, if you can't freeze your assets, how about sort of lowering the temperature? Do you honestly think that "frozen assets" means freezing the lake? Yes! No! Forgive me! Fenton, your mind may be in a cloud, but every so often a ray of brilliance peeks through.
[Stammers.]
It does? Oh, of course it does! Why do you think my mother called me "son"? Follow me, lads.
I've got to visit some of our biggest fans.
[Sighing.]
Now I know why they call retirement the golden years.
Yeah, this is a regular beach blanket Beagle party.
I especially like the sand dollars.
[Wind gusting.]
[Shuddering.]
Feels like an arctic front.
I mean an arctook frent.
I mean it's really cold.
Yeah, colder than an Eskimo's Jacuzzi.
Yeoww! It's bad enough Jack Frost is nipping at my nose, without you guys bloodying it.
How come it's suddenly colder than the judge's last sentence? I don't know, but Last one in makes the cocoa.
Ha ha! Look, winter in July.
Fenton, this dry ice idea worked.
Of course it did! I'm full of ideas, and they always work, which is more than I can say about my mother, who once said, "Fenton, don't get any more ideas, this trailer is crowded enough already.
" Wait! Where's everybody going? Ah.
Hard as Launchpad's head.
Speaking of which - [static.]
- [Scrooge.]
Launchpad.
Put down that comic book and commence Operation ice Tongs.
Aye ice, Mr.
McD.
OK, guys.
Whirly birds away! [- Ride of the Valkyries.]
Throw another stack of wanted posters on the fire, Burger, dear.
- Now that's what I call a roaring fire! - [Helicopters whirring.]
That's not the fire roaring, it's helicopters soaring! [Launchpad.]
Boy, talk about your cold, hard cash.
How dare you steal what my boys wrongfully stole first! [Iackhammer drilling.]
Whew! Here's another nickel, Dewey.
Great! Only two hundred and forty-dollars to go! OK, Louie, run it up to the money bin.
I'm glad Uncle Scrooge finally found a mountain top that's safe, but right now I wish it were in a valley.
It pains me not to see my money bin anymore.
And if I cannot see it, how do I know it's safe? I've got to have a fail safe way to protect it.
[Telephone ringing.]
It's your dime, speak.
The money bin is full.
Your frozen assets are now lukewarm.
Good.
Every last dime's been accounted for? Yup.
Except for the dime I used to make this call.
Dime? What dime? Oh, just an old shiny one.
In a glass case? Yeah, but I'll pay you back.
That was the first dime I ever earned, you idiot! Why else would it be in a case! Blabbering blatherskite! I thought it was for emergency phone calls.
Get it back! Now! Or you're fired! I think he's mad.
Gyro, you've got to help me.
I need a robot to guard my money bin.
I've got to finish this flapjack flipper for the national spatula convention.
Please, Gyro.
If a birdbrain can lose my old number one, who knows what else can go wrong.
[Sizzling.]
Oh, well.
Looks like I can start on your security robot after all.
Great.
Oh, and remember.
Make sure it doesn't let anyone near the bin.
Ah, the phone company.
That dime is only a heartbeat away.
Welcome to Duckville Telephone.
Deposit ten cents, please.
No, uh, you don't understand.
I've got to get back a coin I put in one of your phones this morning.
Sorry, all our coins were deposited in the First InterFeather Bank.
Please hang up and dial again.
[Panting.]
This time for sure! I wanna exchange this dime for one from the phone company.
I'd love to take it out for you, but I have to do one important thing first.
Oh, yeah? And what's more important than me, the customer? That.
Uh - This is a hiccup.
- [Shudders.]
That's stickup, you lug nut.
- [Scrooge.]
Will you get on with it? - [Gyro.]
Oh, uh, fine.
It's my great pleasure to present a state of the art, fully automatic, and totally indestructible security system.
What? Behind the van? No, it is the van.
Presenting the GICU2.
Oh! This I like! The GICU2 is now fully automatic, so we don't need this remote control anymore.
- Watch.
- [Beeping.]
Intruder.
This I love! Oh, Gyro, you're a genius.
Now to count my money! - [Beeping.]
- Intruder! Turn him off, Gyro.
I can't! He blew up the controls.
What? Intruder! Destroy! Intruders! [Rapid beeping.]
Destroy! You have five seconds to leave the premises.
Don't threaten me, scrap yard refugee.
I'll pull out your circuits and - Five - Bye! [Panting.]
What's with that overgrown toaster? It's not supposed to shoot at me.
But you said you didn't want it to let anyone near your bin.
So that's how I programmed it.
Gyro, sometimes you're too efficient.
Thanks! Now listen, genius.
Go home and build me another security guard.
Only this time, make sure it has a brain.
Intruders! [Chuckling.]
Yummers! What is this, Ma? Just something I clipped from Better Cell Blocks and Gardens.
It's called Slabber's Sirloin Stew.
Oh, you're the best, Ma.
And I deserve the best, too.
So how come you lost me Scrooge's cash? But Ma, we just robbed you a bank.
Yeah, a lousy bag of dimes.
[Knock on door.]
Uh, hi! I'm your new neighbor.
Can I borrow the proverbial cup of sugar? [Ma Beagle.]
Uh, well, I don't have a proverbial cup.
Will a tin one do? Why, certainly, kind lady.
That ain't no lady, that's our Ma.
Anything else I can get you? Come to think of it, got any extra bags of dimes sitting around? Dimes, eh? Say, boys, I think we should invite our new neighbor to dinner.
Oh, boy! What are we having? For you, the house specialty, a knuckle sandwich.
[Banging and clattering.]
And if you come back, we'll give you a poundcake for desert.
Of course, you know, this means a skirmish.
Greetings, Ma.
It's me, Bermuda Beagle.
Back from 20 years of being lost in the Bermuda Triangle.
Bermuda Beagle? I don't remember a son named Bermuda.
'Course, I've got more boys than a toad has warts.
Ah, the old place looks just like I remember it.
Uh, but we didn't live here But what does that matter? The point is, we were together, a family.
And by gum, any low-down worm that disagrees will have to take it up with a forklifter out of his hide.
Speaking of hide, let's Beagle bond with a rousing game of hide and seek.
Ooh hoo, ooh hoo! Oh, goody! Who's gonna be it? Well, let's flip for it.
Heads, I win, tails, you lose.
Got a bag full of dimes I can use? Hold it, you canine counterfeit! Look at this family photo.
No Bermuda.
Would you believe I was adopted? [Crashing.]
Oh, boy! A candy machine! Quick, Ma, I need some dimes.
Sorry, Burger.
This machine doesn't take dimes.
It only works with slugs! [Fenton.]
Right in the goobers.
[Snoring.]
Wakey, wakey! Hello, little boy.
I'm the tooth fairy.
And have I got a deal for you! Uh really? Yes.
If you give me that bag of dimes, I'll give you this bag of teeth.
Better hang on to those, I think you're gonna need them.
- [Banging.]
- [Fenton groaning.]
I know you're in a rut, sir but this is ridiculous.
[Scrooge.]
I can't help it.
First I lose my number one dime, and now I can't even take a relaxing dip in my money bin.
[Telephone ringing.]
Hello? [Gyro.]
Uh, Mr.
McDuck, the you-know-what is ready.
Great, Gyro! I'll be right over.
It's a self-propelled security system of incredible strength and fire power.
I call it GizmoDuck.
It's bullet proof, fire proof, and knuckle proof.
Knuckle proof! Oh, boy! Watch out, Beagle Boys! You mean someone wears this iron underwear? You said you wanted a security guard with a brain.
Right.
We'll have to hire someone.
But we'll also have to make sure this suit doesn't fall into the wrong hands.
Well, how about a secret code word? Fine.
Any nonsense will do.
Just make sure it's a word nobody uses.
I've got to get my hands on that suit.
But first I've got to distract that wacko inventor.
I'll find a great code word in this dictionary.
Let's see.
Nonsense.
Number one: Foolishness.
Two: Jibber-jabber.
Three: Blatherskite.
Blatherskite? Oh, that sounds like a word nobody uses.
Blatherskite.
- [Beeping.]
- [Popping.]
Good heavens! That sounds like my aerial popcorn fireworks display! [Popping and exploding.]
Now I'll have to launch a butter and salt rocket to go with it.
Hoo hoo! Now's my chance to borrow this armored tuxedo.
Scrooge won't mind.
After all, it's the only way I can get his dime back.
I'll never figure out how this suit works.
Blabbering blatherskite! [Electricity crackling.]
Uh, easy, fella.
I didn't mean it! No! Let go! I'm being canned like a tuna! Hey, who are you? [Stammers.]
The guy Mr.
McDuck hired.
Just call me GizmoDuck! Yeah, 200 pounds of rompin', stompin' bombs and destruction.
Forward ho! Maybe you ought to read the instruction book.
Uh, here you are, Ma.
Since your other birthday present flew away, we all chipped in and stole you your favorite perfume.
Cell Block Number Five.
[Sniffs.]
It stinks! A poor substitute after losing Scrooge's money.
- [Tires screeching.]
- Hey, who could that be? All right, you Beagles, you have one minute to surrender that bag of dimes.
Hey, who sent you? That wimpy guy who's been bugging us all day? Who, me? I mean, no! I work for McDuck Enterprises.
I'm GizmoDuck! Yeah? Well, duck this! [Explosion.]
Hey, fellas! Look! Don't think you can win me over with a barbeque! I'm armed with elbow-to-air missiles.
Anyone for the dog races? Come back with those purloined coins! Eat dust, buster! [Ma.]
This oughta foil Mr.
Aluminum.
[Elevator bell dings.]
[Shuddering.]
[Elevator bell dings.]
If you don't like the way I drive, stay out of the hallway.
Stop, you Beagles, or I'll fire my midriff missiles! [Big Time.]
Thanks, GizmoDuck.
[Screaming.]
Fly! Fly! How does this thing fly? A-ha! The helmet-copter! Where is the galvanized goon? I don't see him, Ma.
Toss him, boys! Ooh! [chuckles.]
Burgers! My favorite.
I wanna order something.
Not now, you gluttonous goon! [Whimpers.]
But I'm hungry! I'm hungry! If you don't control that appetite, I'm going to lose control of the car! I'll have seven Silly Meals, and one diet cola.
Uh, that'll be a large bag of dimes, please.
Thanks, sucker! If I don't get into my bin soon, all my businesses will fail.
Here, Mr.
McDuck.
I got your number one dime! McWonderful! At last! An employee who doesn't goof up like that feeble headed Fenton.
By the way, what's your name? Uh Gyro said I shouldn't tell anyone.
Too dangerous.
Just call me GizmoDuck.
All right, GizmoDuck.
I have one more job for you today.
Deposit the dime in my money bin.
No problem, sir.
No problem at all.
Intruder.
Well, maybe a little problem.
[Rapid beeping.]
[Man.]
Next on DuckTales Hurt, maim You wouldn't dare hit a lady, would you? GizmoDuck! We're saved! Here, money bin! Come to mama!