Eagleheart (2010) s01e04 Episode Script
Me Llamo Justice
- Papers.
- SÃ.
- What's the reason for your trip? - They are traveling entertainers.
How many with you? Four big, four small.
You can go through.
Gracias.
It was an impressive massacre.
Over 200 shots fired.
Looks like someone really hates school buses.
- Or really loves tiny holes.
- Okay, uh, Brett.
Remember when I duct-taped your mouth shut - the other day? - Yeah.
And it appears they got away with whatever they were after - Except - Ah, here we go.
This.
A tiny bow tie? Really? - What about bullet casings? - How about sausage casings? Throw in some lemonade, and we got ourselves a street fair.
Stupid.
Or why don't we analyze the tire tracks at the crime scene? We could trace the vehicle back to its owner.
Okay, Susie.
Why don't you and your brainiac friends go nerd out in the crime lab? This is the kind of lead Chris Monsanto knows how to follow.
Brett - Susan sweetheart? - Fine.
Ah, it's always nice when you come along.
Thank you.
Then you take the handy-dandy green-and-yellow kerchief, wrap it around your hand, and presto! Why so blue, Mr.
Kerchief? Well, well, well.
- Cyrus Barnaby.
- Afternoon, marshal.
Stopping by for a quick tutorial of the linking rings? What do you know about this? - I don't know anything.
- Okay.
For somebody who tricks people for a living, you're not a very good liar.
Devin, call the police.
You should stick to peddling fake dogshit instead of real bull [bleep.]
Barnaby! All right! Follow me.
Yes, a kid came in and sold this to me last week.
But it was worthless, non-functional Had no "hand hole.
" Turns out a Mexican cartel used it to smuggle cocaine into the country.
How'd they get the drugs inside without a hand hole? Is there a drug hole? No, but Take the handy-dandy arm, and then you dip it into the handy-dandy basin And presto.
Handy-dandy nostril candy.
The dummy is drugs.
It's a high-impact, pressure-molded cocaine.
And there's been a whole wave of fake dummies crossing the border.
So, our bloodbath was a drug deal gone bad.
- I want a name.
- Dominic SaldÃvar.
He owns the factory that makes these in Guadalajara.
Well, kids, you know what this means? We're gonna report this to the D.
E.
A.
? Not quite.
We're going down to Mexico to find this SaldÃvar fellow and make him D.
E.
A D.
Guys, let me ask you something.
Do you think it was a good or a bad idea for me to trade my gun in for this churro? Brett, your mouth is moving again and there are noises coming out of it.
Just bit my tongue.
Hey, shh.
Quiet.
Hey, guys, come here.
Take a look at this.
All right, think we found our source.
It's time to go undercover.
Welcome, my friends.
I am Dominic SaldÃvar.
You have traveled a long way to get here.
He's onto us.
Let's bail.
Uh, my associate speaks very highly of your product.
Your drug product, he means Cocaine, reverse-sneezing dust.
We're here to take a lot of it off your hands.
Let me show you what we do here.
My process changed the entire industry.
The U.
S.
can't even begin to combat us.
Help! - Chris! - What? And this is what makes it all possible "La máquina" Roughly translated, "the machine.
" It can pressure-mold cocaine into any shape Not only dummies but books, trophies, sporting equipment Dreidels.
You name it.
That's amazing.
Can you make a cocaine version of my shoe? Sure.
How about my other shoe? Yes.
How about my marshal's badge? Marshals? This is a trap! Oh, boy, here we go.
Okay.
Es un emboscada! Damn it.
I had more shoe-related questions.
All right, look, uh, I'm gonna pump some Mexican killing beans into that guy.
I'll meet you guys somewhere near the front, okay? Hi.
Well, hello, there, little lady.
I'm Rosa.
I'm Chris Monsanto, U.
S.
marshal.
SaldÃvar is my ex-husband.
He is a very jealous man, and he will not let me leave, even though I do not feel for him.
I get it.
Save you from the big bad wolf, huh? Okay, honey.
Come on.
I'll take you with me.
Uh, Susie, Brett, I'd like you to meet - Honey, what's your name again? - Rosa.
Rosa.
Isn't that beautiful? Oh, watch it.
Okay, come on.
At this rate, we should be at the border by 2:00 A.
M.
Then we can get a motel and get some sleep.
Thank you, Chris.
I don't know how I will ever be able to repay you.
Well, you can start by paying for half the motel room.
Then we'll figure out things as we go along.
You're silly.
What state is Mexico in? All right, Brett, I want you to shut up.
What? This is what a luxury American hotel looks like.
It's very accommodating.
Heck, look.
They even put chocolates on the pillows here.
Isn't that something? Anyhoo, uh, when we get back into town, I'm gonna help you get started with your new life.
Brett, I told you, you can't come in and watch me sleep.
We're here for the merchandise.
Oh, sorry.
You got the wrong room.
The merchandise.
This is the last time we'll ask nicely.
Honey, do you know anything about merchandise? Rosa.
Rosa? Rosa! Rosa! I'm sorry, Chris! Rosa, open up! Come on! We share the bathroom.
That's part of the deal.
Come on, let You're the merchandise.
- You're cocaine.
- I'm so sorry, Chris.
You were set up to smuggle me across the border.
No.
No.
Flush me, Chris.
Don't let them get me.
Promise me you will flush me! Sorry, Chris.
I had no choice.
Oh.
Presto Change-o.
There's something I have to do.
Good work today, guys.
See you tomorrow! Hey, SaldÃvar.
Well, well.
Look who it is.
Chris Monsanto.
Where's your snort-up doll? Chew on some death.
Adiós, amigo.
You shouldn't have given me a guided tour, SaldÃvar.
I picked myself up a factory reject.
Mmm.
That's some primo me.
Pure, uncut vengeance.
- SÃ.
- What's the reason for your trip? - They are traveling entertainers.
How many with you? Four big, four small.
You can go through.
Gracias.
It was an impressive massacre.
Over 200 shots fired.
Looks like someone really hates school buses.
- Or really loves tiny holes.
- Okay, uh, Brett.
Remember when I duct-taped your mouth shut - the other day? - Yeah.
And it appears they got away with whatever they were after - Except - Ah, here we go.
This.
A tiny bow tie? Really? - What about bullet casings? - How about sausage casings? Throw in some lemonade, and we got ourselves a street fair.
Stupid.
Or why don't we analyze the tire tracks at the crime scene? We could trace the vehicle back to its owner.
Okay, Susie.
Why don't you and your brainiac friends go nerd out in the crime lab? This is the kind of lead Chris Monsanto knows how to follow.
Brett - Susan sweetheart? - Fine.
Ah, it's always nice when you come along.
Thank you.
Then you take the handy-dandy green-and-yellow kerchief, wrap it around your hand, and presto! Why so blue, Mr.
Kerchief? Well, well, well.
- Cyrus Barnaby.
- Afternoon, marshal.
Stopping by for a quick tutorial of the linking rings? What do you know about this? - I don't know anything.
- Okay.
For somebody who tricks people for a living, you're not a very good liar.
Devin, call the police.
You should stick to peddling fake dogshit instead of real bull [bleep.]
Barnaby! All right! Follow me.
Yes, a kid came in and sold this to me last week.
But it was worthless, non-functional Had no "hand hole.
" Turns out a Mexican cartel used it to smuggle cocaine into the country.
How'd they get the drugs inside without a hand hole? Is there a drug hole? No, but Take the handy-dandy arm, and then you dip it into the handy-dandy basin And presto.
Handy-dandy nostril candy.
The dummy is drugs.
It's a high-impact, pressure-molded cocaine.
And there's been a whole wave of fake dummies crossing the border.
So, our bloodbath was a drug deal gone bad.
- I want a name.
- Dominic SaldÃvar.
He owns the factory that makes these in Guadalajara.
Well, kids, you know what this means? We're gonna report this to the D.
E.
A.
? Not quite.
We're going down to Mexico to find this SaldÃvar fellow and make him D.
E.
A D.
Guys, let me ask you something.
Do you think it was a good or a bad idea for me to trade my gun in for this churro? Brett, your mouth is moving again and there are noises coming out of it.
Just bit my tongue.
Hey, shh.
Quiet.
Hey, guys, come here.
Take a look at this.
All right, think we found our source.
It's time to go undercover.
Welcome, my friends.
I am Dominic SaldÃvar.
You have traveled a long way to get here.
He's onto us.
Let's bail.
Uh, my associate speaks very highly of your product.
Your drug product, he means Cocaine, reverse-sneezing dust.
We're here to take a lot of it off your hands.
Let me show you what we do here.
My process changed the entire industry.
The U.
S.
can't even begin to combat us.
Help! - Chris! - What? And this is what makes it all possible "La máquina" Roughly translated, "the machine.
" It can pressure-mold cocaine into any shape Not only dummies but books, trophies, sporting equipment Dreidels.
You name it.
That's amazing.
Can you make a cocaine version of my shoe? Sure.
How about my other shoe? Yes.
How about my marshal's badge? Marshals? This is a trap! Oh, boy, here we go.
Okay.
Es un emboscada! Damn it.
I had more shoe-related questions.
All right, look, uh, I'm gonna pump some Mexican killing beans into that guy.
I'll meet you guys somewhere near the front, okay? Hi.
Well, hello, there, little lady.
I'm Rosa.
I'm Chris Monsanto, U.
S.
marshal.
SaldÃvar is my ex-husband.
He is a very jealous man, and he will not let me leave, even though I do not feel for him.
I get it.
Save you from the big bad wolf, huh? Okay, honey.
Come on.
I'll take you with me.
Uh, Susie, Brett, I'd like you to meet - Honey, what's your name again? - Rosa.
Rosa.
Isn't that beautiful? Oh, watch it.
Okay, come on.
At this rate, we should be at the border by 2:00 A.
M.
Then we can get a motel and get some sleep.
Thank you, Chris.
I don't know how I will ever be able to repay you.
Well, you can start by paying for half the motel room.
Then we'll figure out things as we go along.
You're silly.
What state is Mexico in? All right, Brett, I want you to shut up.
What? This is what a luxury American hotel looks like.
It's very accommodating.
Heck, look.
They even put chocolates on the pillows here.
Isn't that something? Anyhoo, uh, when we get back into town, I'm gonna help you get started with your new life.
Brett, I told you, you can't come in and watch me sleep.
We're here for the merchandise.
Oh, sorry.
You got the wrong room.
The merchandise.
This is the last time we'll ask nicely.
Honey, do you know anything about merchandise? Rosa.
Rosa? Rosa! Rosa! I'm sorry, Chris! Rosa, open up! Come on! We share the bathroom.
That's part of the deal.
Come on, let You're the merchandise.
- You're cocaine.
- I'm so sorry, Chris.
You were set up to smuggle me across the border.
No.
No.
Flush me, Chris.
Don't let them get me.
Promise me you will flush me! Sorry, Chris.
I had no choice.
Oh.
Presto Change-o.
There's something I have to do.
Good work today, guys.
See you tomorrow! Hey, SaldÃvar.
Well, well.
Look who it is.
Chris Monsanto.
Where's your snort-up doll? Chew on some death.
Adiós, amigo.
You shouldn't have given me a guided tour, SaldÃvar.
I picked myself up a factory reject.
Mmm.
That's some primo me.
Pure, uncut vengeance.