Eastwick s01e09 Episode Script

Tasers and Mind Erasers

Help! Help! - Somebody help me! - Oh my God, Greta? She's in arrest! Let's intubate.
Give her a mig of atropine and 300 of amio.
- You have to do something.
- We have excellent doctors here, Darryl.
We will do everything we can.
I'm not talking about them.
I'm talking about you.
You can help her.
You can heal her.
I don't know what you're talking about.
You're a healer.
You know you are.
And there isn't any time to lose! - You have to do something now! - Uh, I have to go.
What are you doing? Nothing.
Josh was just leaving.
I'll, um, get up in a second.
You two know the rules.
- We weren't even doing anything.
- I think I'm just gonna Go.
- Well, call me.
- I will.
Mia, we talked about this yesterday and the day before, Josh's mother has been very clear, you two are not allowed to see each other right now.
Look, she blames you for Chad's death, and now she's using it to keep me and Josh apart, and you think I should respect that? Yeah.
And, unfortunately, you've already been warned.
I told you if I caught you again, I'd have to ground you.
This is completely unfair.
No, it really isn't.
You two get to see each other at school.
That's not enough! He needs me, and I need him.
I have to stick to my guns on this.
I'm sorry, Mia, but you're grounded for two weeks.
You are not sorry.
You don't care that you're torturing us! I hate you! The doctors say it's only a matter of time.
She's holding on, but they don't expect her to live - more than a couple days.
- What happened? I don't know.
They're running tests, but it's pretty bizarre.
All of her vital organs started failing at once.
Oh, my God! Poor Greta.
She seemed so vibrant and healthy at the party last night.
How's Darryl taking it? Uh, not well.
He was so emotional and scared and vulnerable.
Never seen him like that before.
Oh, God.
I gotta go.
First day of my new job.
You're really not gonna tell us what you're doing? I'm too embarrassed.
But I work pretty crazy hours, - so Mia said that she would go by and feed my cat.
- Are you hooking? - I'm not hooking.
- Dealing drugs? - Roxie.
- Oh, come on, Joanna.
We're not gonna judge you no matter what the job is, unless, of course, it's hooking or dealing drugs.
Okay, it's neither one of those things.
But it doesn't matter because I am working on a plan to get my old job back.
I've got a pitch for a story that's gonna blow Clyde's mind.
He's gonna be so excited and enthralled, he's gonna give me my job back on the spot.
- That's the spirit! - Wish me luck! Good luck! Good morning, ladies.
- Hey, Jamie.
- Hi, Jamie.
- So that was quite a soiree last night.
- Yeah, it was something.
Is everything okay? Did something happen? Actually, something terrible happened.
One of the guests Greta Noa is in critical condition.
Greta? Darryl Van Horne is gonna die tonight.
- What do you mean? What happened? - Oh, they don't know.
Darryl brought her into the hospital late last night.
- And Mr.
Van Horne? - He's pretty shaken up about it.
I don't think he's left her side since he brought her in.
You all right, Jamie? Um, yeah, I'm fine.
Uh, sorry.
I'll I'll see you later.
Hey, you got a job! See? I knew you'd land on your feet.
- What are you doing here? - This is where I like to write.
Apparently, it's also where you like to write.
Look at us, being all simpatico.
Yeah, well, the only reason that I'm writing here is because you stole my desk at the "Gazette.
" But if you're not using it, I'm happy to take it back That's cute.
Uh, I'll take an old fashioned.
Yeah, I don't know how to make that.
- Well, what can you make? - Beer.
Fine.
So, uh, what are you working on? - None of your business Max.
- Well, let me guess.
Is it, uh, more of that fabulous blogging you've been doing? You know, that last post about your mother's favorite teapot - was riveting stuff.
- You know, don't mock the blog.
I'm not mocking you.
I'm telling you straight up, - your blog blows.
- Is there no end to your charm? It's lazy.
It's got no point of view, no personality.
Actually, strike that.
It's got the personality of a sad chick with too many cats who buys crap off the home shopping network.
Okay, "A" why does it always have to be a sad chick with cats? There are plenty of sad men out there who also have cats, and "B" I'll have you know that my lazy, mock-worthy blog led to a pretty interesting story about Nathan Wainwright.
Who's Nathan Wainwright? Oh, he's one of my 11 followers.
Corrupt senator in Washington Yeah, we're talking payoffs, kickbacks, mob ties.
And you know this how? Because Nathan smiley faced me, and then I smiley faced him back and then we got to "I am in", and then he decided to pretty much bare his soul to me online - because my writing moved him to tears.
- Not the teapot piece.
No.
The one about my first zit.
That was pretty good.
Anyway, "A" my blog rocks, and "B" I'm gonna get a pretty hard edged, hard news story because of it.
You always list things like that? - 'cause it gets a little bit tedious.
- Speaking of tedious, what was your last piece in the "Gazette" about? - Pregnant super models? - Look, people happen to to love Gisele.
- Uh-huh.
- Can I get my beer now or what? Surprise.
Mom! I thought you were going to repaint.
Uh, I did.
- Oh, well, it looks very nice.
- What are you doing here? Oh, I came back for your big art show.
I got your e-vitation.
Well, you should have read it more carefully.
It was yesterday.
Oh, honey, I know, and I meant to get down here on time, but the phone would not stop ringing, and then the barker dogs got loose.
It was a whole thing, but I am here now.
- So how did it go? - Very well.
We sold out the show.
Wonderful.
It's amazing what people - will spend their money on.
- Grandma! Oh, there's my little angel! Oh, are you gorgeous! - You could be a movie star, I swear.
- Yeah, right.
It's been too long.
Now how about I take my girls out to dinner tonight? - Well, I can't leave the house.
I'm grounded.
- Grounded? What ever for? - For absolutely nothing.
- We don't have to go into that right now, mom.
I'd be very happy to make dinner here tonight.
Oh, don't be absurd.
We can make an exception for such a special occasion.
Don't you think? I am so happy you're here.
How long are you staying? Yeah, mom.
How long are you staying? You're no good at killing, Bun.
It was never your thing.
Every time you tried to do me in, someone else got done.
I don't know what you're talking about.
I don't even remember you.
You're not fooling me, Bun.
African artemisia? Did you really think that would do the trick? As I lie sleeping, it slowly works its way through my pores into my bloodstream.
And by the time I'm awake enough to realize what's happening, my lungs are filling up with blood And I am choking and gasping for air.
Uhh! I didn't try to kill you.
Do you remember what happened to Gloria that day? Because I do.
We both have our secrets, Bun.
I'll keep yours if you keep mine.
You are never gonna get what you want.
Those girls are too smart! They'll see through you! Just like we did! Hey, what are you what are you doing here? Wouldn't you like to know? Entrez.
Hi, boss man.
Not your boss man anymore, Joanna.
You know why? Because I fired you.
A mistake that I am willing to overlook, because I have a story that's going to blow your mind.
It's a Joanna Frankel exclusive, and I am prepared to give it to y-o-u for the low, low cost of my old job back.
Are you ready to be wowed? It's a story about politics and greed, corruption and betrayal.
His name is Nathan Wainwright.
- And I've already gotten my ace reporter covering it.
- You what? - Brody turned in his first draft ten minutes ago.
- Max? I'm afraid you're a day late and a dollar short.
But you were right about one thing.
It's an incredible story.
Yes, but but Good-bye, Joanna.
So Tell me more about this Darryl Van Horne character that bought the Lenox mansion.
- Well, he has a crush on mom.
- He does not.
- Really? - And she has a crush on him, too.
- So soon after Brad? - His name was Chad, and, Mia, that's enough.
- Fine.
I'm done.
Can I go to Juins? - No, you're grounded.
- It's to study.
- Mia, if your mother feels as strongly about it, she must have a reason, 'cause god knows.
I didn't always understand my mother's reasoning.
She was a bit unstable.
You know what, mom? I don't need your assistance here.
Mia knows perfectly well why she can't go out tonight.
I was just trying to help.
- It's not necessary.
- Fine.
I'll be quiet.
I'll just be quiet and eat the most overcooked lobster on earth.
My lobster is not overcooked.
- I didn't say that it was.
- Yes, you did.
You just did.
No, she didn't.
Okay, I'm just gonna wash the dishes.
Come on, come on.
Can I come in? Uh, Izzie? R.
J.
? Why don't you guys brush your teeth? Stop shooting.
Get ready for bed.
Come on.
Go on.
Um, something to drink? I'm good.
She's gonna die.
I told you, I don't know what you're talking about.
And I told you you do.
Okay.
Maybe I do.
But how do you know? Because I know powerful women, and you are an extraordinarily powerful woman.
In fact, you may be the most powerful of all.
Who all? It's always been the quiet ones.
I can't go down this road, Darryl.
Why not? Because I have seen what these powers can do.
It is a dark, dangerous and scary place.
It's nothing you can't handle.
But I don't wanna handle it! I have a family to think about.
I can't take my chances on some crazy, weird power that I can't understand or control.
That's just it.
You can't control it and use it to do incredible things.
Don't you see, Kat? Your whole life has been leading up to this moment.
You think it was just a coincidence you became a nurse? Look, you've always known you wanted to be a healer.
Well, you just have to accept the fact that you have a destiny far greater than you ever dared imagined possible for yourself.
You have the power to perform miracles.
Don't talk to me like that.
- I don't wanna hear that.
- You have been given a gift! I didn't ask for it, and I don't want it! - You have no choice.
- Yes, I do! I think you should go.
I made the funeral arrangements for Sunday.
- Thanks a lot, bitch.
- What the hell did I do? Give me a break, Eleanor.
African artemisia.
Darryl thinks I try to poison him.
Well, I didn't try to kill him if that's what you're thinking.
- Who else could it have been? - Wait a minute.
- What? - Last week, I caught somebody rooting around in my garden.
I tried to shoot him in the back as he was running away, - but my gun jammed.
- Well, who was he? - How the hell do I know? - What did he look like? Lanky, long brown hair, goatee.
Nice eyes.
maybe 30 years old.
I know exactly who he was.
I'm coming in.
I don't want her to die.
Then don't let her.
- Nothing is happening.
- Keep trying.
Concentrate.
- I don't know what I'm doing.
- Try.
I I I don't know how this works.
You have to foster it, develop it.
You have to take it one step at a time.
- When did you last use it? - I healed my daughter's arm.
She had a cut.
I ran my fingers over it, and I healed it.
Darryl, what the hell? Heal me.
- But - Heal me.
All right.
Now her.
- Darryl, that was just a cut.
- Try.
Keep trying.
Hello, Jamie.
Oh, hi.
Hello.
Can I help you with something? Yeah, we were just wondering if you'd ever seen one of these.
Yeah, isn't that uhh! What can I get to you? How about a slippery reporter? - How did you find me? - Small town.
I heard a rumor there was a hot, new, clumsy bartender working down at the Greasy Stool.
- I put two and two together.
- So you came to make fun of me? - Actually, I'm hiding out from my mother.
- Your mother? Yeah.
She showed up yesterday unexpectedly and immediately set about telling me how to raise my daughter.
Huh.
I guess you really could use a drink.
I'll have a Manhattan.
- How about a beer? - Uh, tough day? - Have you seen today's paper? - No.
Why? Well, this is my story The one that I pitched to Clyde yesterday.
Oh, no.
Yeah.
Max stole it from me.
I'm gonna kill him.
I'm gonna kill him, and then I am going to represent myself at my murder trial, and I'm gonna get off because the jury will believe that he deserved to die and then they're gonna wonder why I didn't make him suffer more, and I'm gonna say, you know what? I really wanted to, but I was so angry.
I had to hurry up and shoot him in his big, fat face.
You're pretty mad about this.
Uh, let's just say that I picked a really good week - to start bartending.
- Oh! You really are working here.
I really am.
Can I get you a beer? Oh, actually, I'll take a Beer it is.
Okay.
So I tried it.
Tried what? I tried to heal Greta.
What does that mean? Using my Powers? I'm sorry.
Did you just admit that you have powers? - I thought you didn't believe in any of that stuff.
- Well, I didn't, - but the evidence is a tad overwhelming.
- Holy crap! - What are your powers? What can you do? - Oh, okay, well, let's see.
Uh, when I'm angry, I can make lightning strike.
Aha.
And the earth quake and water boil and whip up winds at 70 miles an hour.
And I magically was able to heal a cut on my daughter's arm recently.
Well, that's cool.
Very cool.
I knew it, I knew it! I knew I wasn't the only one! - I knew it! - But I didn't wanna admit it to myself because I thought that would mean that I was crazy, but to keep denying it - is starting to feel even more crazy.
- It isn't crazy if it's true.
Except I couldn't do anything for Greta today.
I spent two hours trying, and nothing.
Well, these powers are tricky things.
My visions just come whenever the hell they feel like it.
Jack of diamonds.
2 of diamonds.
I don't know what triggers them.
Oh, and yesterday, out of the blue, I read my mother's mind.
- That was weird.
- Really? You can read minds? Just my mother's and believe me, it's a power - I'd happily give back.
- Well, Joanna, what about what about you? Remember, you told me that you could, you know, - move things with your mind.
- Shut up.
Why have I not heard about this? - Because I didn't believe her.
- No, she did not.
I I'm sorry.
I thought it was P.
T.
S.
D.
Well, it's, uh, it's not.
It's real! All right, so far, I have been able to move a knife thingy, a ferris wheel bar and a drawer.
I know that doesn't sound like much, but it's cool.
And, um, as far as my, um, hypnosis thing goes - Uh, your your what now? - Hypnosis? Okay, have I not mentioned to you guys that a couple of months ago I discovered that I had the power to jedi mind-trick people? Oh, my God! - Shh! - You got the best Powers.
- Not so much people as as it is men.
Just men.
- Why haven't you said anything about this? We could have been having so much fun with it.
I don't know.
I was just embarrassed because I've done some Not-so-good things, like getting a promotion.
You should have some money.
Or getting a gay married guy to have sex with me.
- What? - Huh? I've been trying to swear it off lately because generally - it causes more harm than good.
- Dude, at least use them to get your job back.
I wanna earn my job back.
Good for you, honey.
Wow.
A freaking jedi.
- I know.
- Okay.
Okay, why is this happening? Why us? Why now? Okay, I think that it's always been in me, just sleeping.
You know? And then it started to wake up - around the same time - that Darryl got here? No, or I don't know.
I think it was before that.
I started to feel different the first night - that we all hung out.
- There's gotta be a key.
Right? There's there's gotta be some trick to it.
Healing a woman that's on her deathbed is asking a lot, Kat.
- I know.
I just - What? I just feel Like there's more in me, you know? I just have to figure out how to access it.
I find drinking always helps.
Aren't you guys worried? - About what? - About what we're dealing with here.
This is stuff that that that we can't possibly understand or maybe even control.
It's powerful.
It's dangerous stuff, and it seems to me that if we start doing otherworldly things There may be otherworldly consequences.
Are you scared? I am now.
So did we all just admit that we're witches? Ahh.
Are you sure this is cool? Yeah.
Joanna's at work.
We're good.
Anderson Cooper, how are you? Whoa.
Check this out.
Looks like Joanna brought her own bar.
Dinner time.
The Nutty Irishman.
The Purple Hooter Shooter.
The Fuzzy Butt.
Gross.
- Have you ever been drunk? - Once, in Justine's basement, off Peppermint Schnapps.
I puked.
Chad let me, uh, share a sixer with him once.
It was awesome.
Hey, look, There's one in here called The Mind Eraser.
Wouldn't mind that right about now.
Yeah, me, too.
Hey, let's make five of the craziest drinks in here.
We don't have to finish them.
We'll just try them.
All right.
Clearly, you have a death wish.
I thought we should talk.
- If you're here to apologize - Oh, I'm not.
How could you not be here to apologize? - What did you expect? - Well, I didn't expect for you to steal my story.
- I didn't steal your story.
- Are you mental? You can't actually believe that.
I didn't steal your story.
Okay, then Look me in the eye and tell me the truth.
Do you believe that you stole my story? I do not.
Oh, my god.
I mean, that that's even worse.
You're like a sociopath.
You can't expect to tell a fellow journalist a story involving scandalous allegations against a major political figure in the state - and not expect that journalist to investigate it.
- Yeah, I al I already investigated it.
- It was my story! - No, it was a story that you were working on.
I looked into it, I made some calls, I got some quotes and I printed it.
- Come on.
You gotta admit.
It was pretty damn good.
- Oh, go to hell, Max! And don't follow me.
Ugh! Look, I know you're mad at me, but this doesn't mean that - you can't still write your story.
- Shut up! I'm serious! This story has a lot of angles.
- Find your own angle.
- I'm not gonna waste my time writing an article that has already been written.
- I'm not that stupid.
- So you're just gonna give up? Not my choice, ass hat! That's weird.
What'd you say? Now that your back is to me, you're really just gonna have to yell, 'cause What's the matter? I just didn't leave my light on when I left earlier.
So I Just, ever since the pastor Dunn kidnapping thing, - I've been a little paranoid.
- All right.
Um Well, uh You probably shouldn't go up there alone, so, um Would you mind if I walked you up? I guess that'd be fine.
Um, maybe we should just call the police.
Looks like somebody decided to have a party at your place.
Forgot to invite you.
Oh, no.
Spooky.
He looks just like Gloria.
He has her eyes.
Oh, I I think he's coming to.
Well, if he tries anything, just light him up again.
Relax, Eleanor.
- Not everything needs to be solved with violence.
- Ha! Where the hell am I? What the hell's going on? - You're with friends.
- Then why the hell am I tied to a chair? Well, let me explain.
- We're friends of your mother.
- My mother's dead.
We know, numb nuts.
We were with her when she died.
We know everything.
We know who your mother was, we know who your father is, and we know that you tried to kill him last night.
- And screwed that one up, royally.
- Oh, Eleanor, please! Hey! Give me that back! That's my letter.
I know it is, Jamie.
I sent it to you.
Your mother was my best friend.
I just Wanted you to at least know a piece of her, to feel connected to her in some small way, so I I wrote it with everything that I could remember, large and small.
I know it's not much.
It's the best I could do.
Oh, she was an incredible woman.
There isn't a day that goes by that I don't miss her terribly.
You have no idea how much that letter meant to me, how it sustained me.
I knew one day you'd come home.
You're the one.
I am, Jamie.
I am.
Oh, for crying out loud.
Can we please talk about how we're gonna kill Darryl Van Horne? Oh, I can't wait to do some skitching this winter.
- Skitching? - You never heard of skitching? Uh, all right.
Uh, is it a combination of skiing and itching? No! No, doofus.
It's when you hold onto the bumper of a car on an ice road and you let it drag you around town.
Yeah.
Uh, I think that's pronounced suicide.
My brother and his friends used to used to do it all the time.
Well, I'll race you to the other side.
Come on! Be careful.
The ice gets thinner out there.
Oh, come on! What are you, some kind of wimp? No! Aah! Mia! Josh! - Help! - Grab my hand! Grab my hand! Hello? - Rox, are Mia and Josh with you? - No.
She'd been home hours ago.
H How did you Have you seen them? Uh, no.
But they used my apartment as their own personal greasy stool.
And, p.
s.
, your daughter is - a much better bartender than I am.
- Oh, god.
Yeah, there's a lot of drinking that went on here, and I'm just worried that they're out there - driving around right now.
Does Mia even have her license? - No, but Josh does.
- Damn it! - Okay, do you need help looking for them? - My car's in the shop, but I can borrow Max's.
- Say what now? I wouldn't know where to look.
I I've called Josh's friends.
I've called Mia's friends.
None of them Oh, my god.
They're at the lake.
Joanna, can you get to the lake? Okay, go, hurry! Okay, I'm gonna need to borrow your car.
Uh, sorry, sweet cakes, but nobody drives my car but me.
Then I guess you're coming with me, sugar buns.
Help! Mia! Grab on! Somebody help, please! Somebody help me! - Aah! - Josh?! Oh, thank god! Help me, please! I can't hold much longer! - Mia! - Jo Jo Joanna, no! - No, no, no! Wait! - What?! - You'll fall in! Just give me a second! - Oh, my god! Just hold on! Wait a minute! Max, hurry! Hurry! All right, tie it around your waist.
Tight! - Please! - Help! - No, don't move! - Just hang on! Hang on! - Come quickly! - All right, you grab Josh and I'll pull you out! Come quickly! I can't hold on.
- It's slipping! - The ice is break, keep youself, buddy.
I got you, Joanna.
I got you.
I always thought I'll get over it.
Josh, hang on! Mia, hang on! Do something, please! Hold on, Josh! - I can't hold her! - Aah! - All right, everybody, hold tight! - Max, pull! - Hold on, Josh! Pull! - Oh, my God! Pull! Pull! Pull! She's slipping! Mia, no! - Mia! - No! - No, no! - No, no! Oh, no! Pull! - Get out of the water.
- Max! - Call 911! - They're on their way! Get blankets, dry clothes, get me some liquids.
I've got blankets and bottled water in my car.
Come on.
Oh, God.
Her heart stopped.
We're losing her.
Do something! Kat? No.
Please.
Mia! Oh, my God! Oh, my God.
I can't believe it! It worked! It It worked! How did you know about the lake? Oh, you wouldn't believe me if I told you.
Try me.
I have these visions of the future.
Um, sort of like memories of stuff that hasn't happened yet.
I see things, and they come true.
I know.
You were like this as a child, too.
What are you talking about? When you were little up to almost six years old, you would tell your dad and me stories about what was going to happen Sometimes in great detail.
And then they would happen exactly as you described them.
It was It was eery.
And then one day, you told me a story about your dad leaving me for Mrs.
Colavita.
And then two months later, it happened.
It scared me, Roxie.
You scare me.
You still scare me.
You read my mind last night about the lobster.
That's the first time I've ever done that.
I never understood it, so I shut you out.
It wasn't that I didn't want to talk to you or or be with you.
I was afraid.
I was afraid of you my little girl.
And I'm so sorry.
I'm sorry.
Uh, we did a cat scan, an EKG and a full blood workup.
- Mia's gonna be fine.
- Oh, thank God! She checked out normally.
She'll be up and around in no time.
- You can take her home tonight, Roxie.
- Thank you.
Both of you, thank you.
And these are her journals, mostly written when she was very young.
I'm sure they're full of silliness crushes, grade school gossip and all, but I know she'd want you to have them.
I just can't believe how many of her effects you've kept.
- We knew that you'd come for them one day.
- Thank you.
If we've dispensed with the pleasantries can we show him the good stuff? Yes, I suppose so.
Finally.
She's a real beauty.
This is what we're going to use to kill Darryl Van Horne.
- S So I'm supposed to stab him with this? - You? You still don't get it, do you? You can't kill Darryl Van Horne.
It's not humanly possible.
Well, then who? Roxie.
What are you still doing here? How is she? - She's gonna be fine.
- I'm glad.
- Can I give you a ride home? - Look, I really appreciate what you did tonight, but I still hate you.
You know what? Get over it.
- Excuse me? - You got scooped.
Big deal.
You know how many times I've been scooped in my career? - I did you a favor.
- Oh, really? If you want to use this as an excuse to give up, that's your decision.
But every time I got beat to the punch on a story, it just motivated me more, drove me to be a better reporter.
Well, I already know I'm a better reporter than you.
Good.
So prove it.
And when you do, you're gonna look back on this moment years from now and think, "Thank God for Max Brody.
If it weren't for him, I'd still be slinging drinks at the greasy stool instead of collecting Pulitzer Prizes, for my provocative and brilliant reporting, that one story changed the course of my entire life.
And it's all thanks to my hero and mentor Max Brody.
God, he's good-looking and smart.
" You really love to hear yourself talk, don't you? You know, I do.
I really do.
I think I figured it out.
I think I know what I have to do now.
I have to feel something for the person I'm trying to heal.
I I have to have an emotional connection to them.
Okay.
Tell me about Greta.
Oh, let's see.
She's, uh She's passionate.
She's smart.
She's artistic.
She's estranged from her family.
I know that her father was abusive and her mother was an alcoholic who died quite young.
And it was shortly after that she left home.
Anyway, her passion was for art.
And when she got to New York, she found other people who shared that passion.
I remember her telling me one time she she lived on a friend's couch for the first two years.
And it wasn't even an actual apartment building, it was an abandoned warehouse on Bleecker that young, broke artists used to squat in.
There was no running water, no electricity, but there was a coffee shop next door that they used to sneak into and they would use the sinks to bathe in very glamorous stuff.
She said it was like the world's most depressing production of "Rent.
" Welcome back.