Easy Abby (2012) s01e10 Episode Script
Icing on the Sponge Cake
Some people get married.
I've never cared that much about it.
Not because I'm gay, but because I've never believed all that talk about forever.
I could use a new coffeemaker though.
Trying to rub a genie out of that glass? No, I was just thinking about sea sponges.
Oh, yeah, 'cause like who doesn't? Have you ever touched one? Are we being dirty already, because it's only like halfway done, the reception A sea sponge.
It's not coral, it's not a plant, - it's called an animal.
- Yeah.
But it doesn't have a brain or nervous system.
- That's - Don't think too hard.
great trivia question.
What is they're point? What's your point? And what's they're point? They stick to things under water, and they just stay there.
- They don't move.
- That sounds like a bad marriage.
- Kinda like ours? - But, but, how do they, ok a sponge, how do they get there? Well, they have eggs and sperm both, - so - Whoa! Whoa! Mind is blown! Two for one.
A - BOGO! - Yeah - Yep.
- I could do so much with a sperm and an egg already there I think a lot of people could.
Oh, that's a baby, really.
When they're together, right? - Yes.
- Ooh let's not go there.
Important question Is how does any of this conversation get me laid? This whole conversation can I use a sponge line on somebody? It's probably not going to work for you, but probably crank up your imagination - Exactly.
- Could help you for sure Bring it into the bedroom.
- Exactly.
- Oh god! Is that what you use on ladies, 'cause you bed like I bed? You bed so many women - Oh I love bedding women.
- That's what we call the lingo.
Can I get like half the women that you bed? No, you probably couldn't.
But I'm trying to teach you, one day at a time.
Thank you.
Not a problem.
I'm actually trying to slow that shit down right now anyways.
What, what? No! What, what That's like, 'cause you're like, you're my idol, you're like the James Bond without the spy stuff, and And, you know, being a Being a chick.
Because I'm just trying to save my money, and you know, stick to my plan, and get the hell out of here.
Um, you need to take this one.
Take one, what? Who? The mother of the bride.
- Oh - She hired us.
I cannot sleep with another mother of the bride.
Oh, yes you can.
And you will.
Yeah Hi.
I gotta go, 'cause this is, uh, this is empty.
So did you make my gimlet? Uh, no Mrs.
Bujold, was there a problem? Not really.
Would you like another one? I'm thinking The gimlet was a little boring and it's not effecting my nerve endings correctly.
Dinner seems to be going well.
Jack, rocks.
Okay.
So what are you, like 28? I'm 30.
Are you guessing how old I am? I wasn't until just now.
Good.
You know, I once survived a whole week off of olives.
So Abby, you know this place pretty well so, uh, how about we work on that thermostat? Yeah, it's getting a little warm You okay with this? - Absolutely.
- You got it? I do.
She forgot her drink.
On purpose.
Yeah.
Ride 'em cowboy! - Settle down partner.
- No I'm more excited for this than you, go! You always are.
Hey, work the tip.
Work the tip.
Mrs.
Bujold are you trying to seduce me? Genevieve.
Your husband is in the next room.
I saw you looking at me.
Please tell me I wasn't wrong.
I can't lose my job.
I can't afford to lose my job.
Trust me.
I can't You won't lose your job.
Do you find me attractive? I do.
This may be the first and last time you get to touch me.
Jesus.
Christ! Ah Beer is still cold.
Just checkin' that, yeah - Good? - That's absolutely great.
So, congratulations, sir, uh your daughter, - she looks beautiful - I know, she is a doll, isn't she? She is.
She is.
It's great.
Any honeymoon plans for the couple? Uh, yeah, Cayman Islands I think you know scuba diving Absolutely! That's what you do there.
Yep.
Because there's water.
Um, never been there myself.
You know, I travel a lot too, but, um, I've never been there either.
- We got that between us.
- Yeah.
Never going places.
- I gotta go.
- What? I have to get back.
You married? Uh, no no.
I'm, I'm in between girlfriends - For a couple of years.
- Oh, oh.
Yeah, me too.
Boyfriends though.
Okay.
More than one way to live a life, you know what I mean? - Hey, Dad.
- There a lot of ways.
Hey, sweetheart.
I got tipsy, accidentally.
Oh, you're fine.
It was your fault probably.
- Limo ride home - Oh, I am the guilty party You'll be fine Fix her up with some bitters, will ya? - Oh, of course, absolutely.
- Where's Mom? Um probably taking care of business Yeah I she was I saw her.
So you know what? I am so proud of you.
You know, she picked the right person.
I can tell you're really in love.
He's my best friend.
Yeah, like, like me and your mom.
- Here's to best friends.
- Yeah, thanks.
You're welcome.
Ah, there she is - Hey.
- Yeah.
So I wanna thank you for all your hard work tonight.
Yeah, thank you, thank you so much.
You're welcome.
We better get you home sweetheart.
Ok? - Congratulations.
- Little something for you Oh, thank you, sir Look what we got.
We earned this.
I know.
I earned this.
- You - And, uh, Mrs.
Bujold earned that.
- Genevieve.
- Genevieve.
- I'll get this back to you tomorrow.
- I'm sure you will.
I've never cared that much about it.
Not because I'm gay, but because I've never believed all that talk about forever.
I could use a new coffeemaker though.
Trying to rub a genie out of that glass? No, I was just thinking about sea sponges.
Oh, yeah, 'cause like who doesn't? Have you ever touched one? Are we being dirty already, because it's only like halfway done, the reception A sea sponge.
It's not coral, it's not a plant, - it's called an animal.
- Yeah.
But it doesn't have a brain or nervous system.
- That's - Don't think too hard.
great trivia question.
What is they're point? What's your point? And what's they're point? They stick to things under water, and they just stay there.
- They don't move.
- That sounds like a bad marriage.
- Kinda like ours? - But, but, how do they, ok a sponge, how do they get there? Well, they have eggs and sperm both, - so - Whoa! Whoa! Mind is blown! Two for one.
A - BOGO! - Yeah - Yep.
- I could do so much with a sperm and an egg already there I think a lot of people could.
Oh, that's a baby, really.
When they're together, right? - Yes.
- Ooh let's not go there.
Important question Is how does any of this conversation get me laid? This whole conversation can I use a sponge line on somebody? It's probably not going to work for you, but probably crank up your imagination - Exactly.
- Could help you for sure Bring it into the bedroom.
- Exactly.
- Oh god! Is that what you use on ladies, 'cause you bed like I bed? You bed so many women - Oh I love bedding women.
- That's what we call the lingo.
Can I get like half the women that you bed? No, you probably couldn't.
But I'm trying to teach you, one day at a time.
Thank you.
Not a problem.
I'm actually trying to slow that shit down right now anyways.
What, what? No! What, what That's like, 'cause you're like, you're my idol, you're like the James Bond without the spy stuff, and And, you know, being a Being a chick.
Because I'm just trying to save my money, and you know, stick to my plan, and get the hell out of here.
Um, you need to take this one.
Take one, what? Who? The mother of the bride.
- Oh - She hired us.
I cannot sleep with another mother of the bride.
Oh, yes you can.
And you will.
Yeah Hi.
I gotta go, 'cause this is, uh, this is empty.
So did you make my gimlet? Uh, no Mrs.
Bujold, was there a problem? Not really.
Would you like another one? I'm thinking The gimlet was a little boring and it's not effecting my nerve endings correctly.
Dinner seems to be going well.
Jack, rocks.
Okay.
So what are you, like 28? I'm 30.
Are you guessing how old I am? I wasn't until just now.
Good.
You know, I once survived a whole week off of olives.
So Abby, you know this place pretty well so, uh, how about we work on that thermostat? Yeah, it's getting a little warm You okay with this? - Absolutely.
- You got it? I do.
She forgot her drink.
On purpose.
Yeah.
Ride 'em cowboy! - Settle down partner.
- No I'm more excited for this than you, go! You always are.
Hey, work the tip.
Work the tip.
Mrs.
Bujold are you trying to seduce me? Genevieve.
Your husband is in the next room.
I saw you looking at me.
Please tell me I wasn't wrong.
I can't lose my job.
I can't afford to lose my job.
Trust me.
I can't You won't lose your job.
Do you find me attractive? I do.
This may be the first and last time you get to touch me.
Jesus.
Christ! Ah Beer is still cold.
Just checkin' that, yeah - Good? - That's absolutely great.
So, congratulations, sir, uh your daughter, - she looks beautiful - I know, she is a doll, isn't she? She is.
She is.
It's great.
Any honeymoon plans for the couple? Uh, yeah, Cayman Islands I think you know scuba diving Absolutely! That's what you do there.
Yep.
Because there's water.
Um, never been there myself.
You know, I travel a lot too, but, um, I've never been there either.
- We got that between us.
- Yeah.
Never going places.
- I gotta go.
- What? I have to get back.
You married? Uh, no no.
I'm, I'm in between girlfriends - For a couple of years.
- Oh, oh.
Yeah, me too.
Boyfriends though.
Okay.
More than one way to live a life, you know what I mean? - Hey, Dad.
- There a lot of ways.
Hey, sweetheart.
I got tipsy, accidentally.
Oh, you're fine.
It was your fault probably.
- Limo ride home - Oh, I am the guilty party You'll be fine Fix her up with some bitters, will ya? - Oh, of course, absolutely.
- Where's Mom? Um probably taking care of business Yeah I she was I saw her.
So you know what? I am so proud of you.
You know, she picked the right person.
I can tell you're really in love.
He's my best friend.
Yeah, like, like me and your mom.
- Here's to best friends.
- Yeah, thanks.
You're welcome.
Ah, there she is - Hey.
- Yeah.
So I wanna thank you for all your hard work tonight.
Yeah, thank you, thank you so much.
You're welcome.
We better get you home sweetheart.
Ok? - Congratulations.
- Little something for you Oh, thank you, sir Look what we got.
We earned this.
I know.
I earned this.
- You - And, uh, Mrs.
Bujold earned that.
- Genevieve.
- Genevieve.
- I'll get this back to you tomorrow.
- I'm sure you will.