Entourage s03e13 Episode Script

Less Than 30

All right.
You got the whole thing? I got the whole thing 1400 different ways already, Drama.
Just keep snapping.
It's digital.
- There is no waste.
- Yeah, only my time.
Come on, come on.
We're not going anywhere until somebody recognizes me.
Favor me, but get some of the other guys too.
- Okay.
- There you go.
Hey, jerk-off! What kind of loser takes pictures in front of his own billboard? There you go, Drama.
You've been recognized.
E don't count.
It's gotta be a stranger.
Johnny, it looks good.
Looks like it's gonna be a big hit.
- Thanks, bro! - We're off to Amanda's.
Yo, Vince, don't forget to invite her to your birthday party.
Don't worry, she'll be there.
You just make sure it's a good one.
Like we'd throw you anything less? - Nice.
- Later, guys.
Later.
Oh, here comes some chicks.
Keep snapping.
See if they recognize me.
- Hey.
- Hey.
Was that Vince Chase you were talking to? Hey, Vince.
Happy birthday.
Hey, thank you.
- Happy birthday, Vince.
- Thanks! - Happy birthday, Vince.
- Thank you.
Hey, is that my agent or America's next top model? Don't patronize me.
I know I look like shit.
I was up all night fighting with my ex.
- Over the house again? - No, the dog.
What kind of man sues for custody of a labradoodle? Sit.
So Who did their required reading last night? How many? I read four of them.
That's impressive.
Vince? I read half of three.
Look, Amanda, you have to understand that you sent some very large scripts.
It's true.
The scripts Ari used to send us were in the 90-to-104-page range.
Yours are closer to 140.
It leaves me no time for skin care.
I'm surprised Ari doesn't just send coverage.
That's all he reads anyway.
Look, I can find you another popcorn movie, no problem, but you asked me to find something you could sink your teeth into.
Do you have something? 'Cause none of these quite got us.
This one will.
You guys know I don't hard-sell, but this is the one.
Manageable.
It's Edith Wharton's "Glimpses of the Moon.
" Studio's been trying to tackle it for years, nobody could get a handle on it.
Steve Zaillian did.
The script is wonderful.
Did you guys like "Age of Innocence"? I don't remember the story, but I do remember after seeing it I knew how to hold my fork.
I liked "Age of Innocence.
" Is Scorsese doing this? No, Sam Mendes is.
Oh, Sam Mendes.
I love "American Beauty.
" Great.
Read at least 90, then.
And they need a quick answer.
Looks like we have homework tonight.
No, not tonight.
Come on, tonight we're celebrating somebody's birthday.
Hey, she remembered.
Nice, what did you get me? Great gift, Amanda! Great gift.
Thank you.
You're all welcome.
How is the party planning coming? I'm sure it's gonna be sick.
I'm running things, so use your imagination.
I'm picturing lots of strippers and porn stars, Turtle.
He's promised us he's gonna invite some regular girls too.
Just a couple.
You got to come help fill the quota.
I wouldn't miss it.
You're welcome to bring a guest if you have someone special.
Um there is nobody, but thank you, Johnny.
- That's good to know.
- Uh-huh.
Come on! Ah! Oh, Jesus.
What? Defense! Defense! Defense! The Lakers game! The fucking Lakers game! Oh, Jesus, the house that I built! Maybe it was his birthday present.
You think? I put him on the fucking court on Arbor Day, and that's her present? God, she's so fucking wrong for him.
Oh, Ari, I hate to see you like this.
Shut up, Lloyd, I'll be fine.
Your horoscope doesn't think so.
It said this was going to be a very tumultuous week.
I bet she'll be at his birthday party.
Fuck! He'll probably let her blow out his candles.
Still no invite for me, huh? Not from Vince.
But we did receive an evite to Patrick Dempsey's house for running charades.
You know, I've spent Vince's last five birthdays with him.
I know.
And you know your present's gonna be so much better than hers.
It is, Lloyd, it is.
And you want to know why? Because I'm actually giving him something that he wants.
Aww.
What the fuck does that mean? Heartbreak.
Okay, we need to talk party.
I think we need to lose the venue.
Why? Privilege is great.
They only serve liquor till 2:00 AM.
We want this thing to go all night.
Or all morning, as the ladies come a'running.
Whatever, Turtle.
Your point? What about Ari? Does he make the guest list? No.
No no no no no no no.
No exes at a birthday party.
- Never never never.
- Hey, that's Vince's call.
I think baby bro was a little freaked out about seeing him last night.
Nah, Vince don't get rattled.
Besides us and his mother, Ari is the longest relationship Vince has ever had.
He must've been a little rattled.
That's why it's best after a breakup, professional or otherwise, to split the town into even territories.
Ari pays 200 grand a year for those tickets.
I doubt we can have him banned him from the Staples Center.
- Yo yo.
- Morning, bro.
- Eggs benedict? - Yeah, that'd be great, Johnny.
Hey, E, the script is good.
Real good.
- Wow, you read it? - Cover to cover.
- When? - Last night.
- Couldn't sleep, bro? - No, I slept like a baby.
So, E, looks like I beat you this time, huh? Guess again.
I read it.
And? I liked it.
What I understood of it, anyway.
Yeah, I did run to my dictionary a couple times.
It's different than anything I ever thought I'd do, but I love that Amanda thinks like this.
I'll call her, have her set up a meet- and-greet with Mendes.
Actually, you know what? I'll call her.
I want her to know I'm taking this very seriously.
Hey, maybe that's her now.
We have this weird synch, don't you think? - It's uncanny.
- Hello? Hello? Did you just prank Vince? I never heard the guy answer the phone before.
It spooked me! He's gonna know it's you.
Our company name comes up.
Why does it come up? Whose idea was that? What's the fucking point? - I don't know.
- He's not gonna know it's me.
- It could've been you calling Drama.
- True.
What do I care if he thinks it was me? I'm meant to call.
I'm calling him again.
In a minute.
You call Drama first so he thinks it was you.
Oh, hey, Lloyd, what's up? I bet you're getting some calls about my billboard, huh? Uh, no.
I haven't heard a thing about it.
Did it go up yet? Are you kidding? It's huge.
You obviously don't drive Sunset.
To and from work every day, but I'll look again.
- Do.
- I will.
So, listen, as long as I've got you on the phone, is Vince there? What the fuck are you doing? What you should've done a long time ago getting your man back.
So is he there? Yeah, he's here, Lloyd, why? 'Cause, I don't know, you know, Ari's here too.
Maybe they should say hi.
I don't think that's such a great idea.
Put him on the phone, Johnny, or no more agency comps at Burke Williams.
Someone wants to talk to you, bro.
- Vinnie boy! - Hey, Ari.
- How you doing? - I'm doing great.
I'm doing great.
You know, how you doing? I'm doing.
I'm doing.
Listen, I don't want to beat around the bush.
It's your birthday and it made me realize how much I miss you.
I mean, not like Lloyd misses you, but friends-wise.
So, uh, I mean, you miss me, Vinnie? Yeah you know, friends-wise, I miss you, yeah.
Great great.
That's great.
Listen, uh I got a I got a gift for you, and I could just, uh, you know, I could send it over.
But I, you know, I'd love to see you.
I'd rather see your face and, you know, grab some dinner, so, uh, catch up.
Bring E if you want.
What do you say? Um Make it lunch.
No dinner.
Why not dinner? You're leading him on with dinner.
You're saying something I don't think you want to say.
And what am I saying? That you want to jump back in the sack with him.
I mean, come on, do you ever go to dinner with a disgruntled ex, and she really wasn't just looking for some tasty dessert? I agree with Drama.
I mean, he's making me sick with the metaphors, but Ari's not doing this out of friendship.
We'll make it lunch.
You could still have dessert after lunch.
Better make it a coffee.
Good thinking.
Coffee says "I sip, but I ain't sucking.
" What the fuck is wrong with you, Drama? Cursed with wisdom is all.
Oh, yeah.
- That looks good.
- Oh, that's in the hole.
Hey hey hey.
- What's this? No secrets.
- I'm with Vince.
The whispering stops, or nobody's getting a soufflé at dinner tonight.
Relax, Drama.
It's about the party venue.
If it's about money, you don't have to spend a lot to throw me a party.
Remember ninth grade? You surprised me at Friendly's.
- That was awesome.
Yeah it was.
And I got jerked off by the girl who made the fribbles.
We're not doing this party at Friendly's, Vince, and you're not paying for anything.
Turtle, did you take care of the booze? Done.
- Give me back my Visa.
- No problem.
Wow, Turtle, I've never seen you cough up plastic so easily.
That's 'cause I still got the kid's MasterCard, and that's the one I'm keeping for the venue.
Hey, jerk-off, you're a grown man.
Get yourself some credit.
You like it or you love it? I love it.
- Great.
That's all I need to hear.
I'll set the meeting with Sam.
Okay, great.
Listen, Amanda, I gotta go.
- I'll check in with you a little later.
- Okay.
- Bye.
- Bye.
Remember: He starts talking business, change the subject.
You don't think we can have a friendly conversation with Ari? I don't think I've ever had a conversation with him where he didn't want something.
You? - I'll change the subject.
- ARl: Boys! Boys, look at that.
Wouldn't even have dinner with me, huh? Weird.
Kinda feels like I'm trying to fuck you guys.
Are you? Look at that E! I love it, huh? Still got little-man's complex enough to want to fight.
Sit down.
Sit down.
- So So So happy fucking birthday.
Oh wow, Ari, thanks.
What is it? Something that you really really want.
You know what? Wait till later to open it.
For now let's put surprises aside and just enjoy one another's company.
We can do that, right? We can try.
A booze cruise, I like it.
No last call on the open water.
And no neighbors to complain about the noise.
Holy shit, look at that another billboard.
I'm everywhere.
Spreading like the plague that you are, Drama.
- Does that guy look familiar to you? - Huh? - On the billboard.
That's me.
- Oh, congrats.
But I can't see that far without my glasses.
You ever hear of Lasik? So what's the price on this thing? - 20 Gs for the night.
- 20 Gs, huh? - Is that a problem? - No no no, no problem.
- What's the capacity? - 200, 250 max.
See, that, my friend, is a problem.
You got anything that's a little bigger? - Not a word about business, E.
- Very impressive.
Should I invite him to the party? You wanna invite him to the party? I wanna invite him to the party.
Then you should invite him to the party.
Here he comes.
All right, what do you guys think about dessert? - No.
- No dessert.
- All right, just the check then.
- I already got it, Ari.
Wow, E, you are really officially keeping this unofficial.
Just friends, Ari, just friends.
Just friends, absolutely.
So, Ari, I'm having a little I'd love to come to your party, Vinnie.
Thank you.
I'm afraid this card has been declined.
Trouble on the home front, E? No, it's all good.
I got it.
Calm down, E! You're gonna give yourself a stroke.
You maxed out three of my fucking credit cards, Turtle! - That's worse than a stroke.
- I'm a little over budget, that's all.
How much is a little? What are you talking about? You were with him the whole time.
I didn't have my calculator with me.
You're about to dip into your own pocket better learn to finger count.
Exactly how far over budget are you, Turtle? was supposed to be 50.
E, this party's gonna suck if we don't do it up.
- We have an 800-person guest list.
- It's supposed to be 200.
It's not my fault Vince is popular.
It's a disease in the Chase lineage.
All right.
I'll go up to 35 grand and that's it.
So unless you and Drama are planning on ponying up more of your own cash, that brings us to a grand total of 60.
- What about what I spent? - Get it back.
- Yeah, get it back.
- Fuck you, Drama.
We're gonna celebrate your Are you guys fighting over the party? Fighting? We're not fighting.
Did you hear fighting? Why don't you guys just let me pay for it, really? 'Cause it's our present to you, Vince, so stop.
Okay.
Okay.
You guys want to see Ari's present to me? Yeah.
"Medellin"? Is this a joke? - Did he like it, E? - What the fuck does it mean, Ari? It means that Vince doesn't have to do some paint-drying Edith Wharton novel.
- How'd you know about that? - It is my job to know all, E.
Do you know Edith Wharton? Always the same movie.
Guy can't fuck the girl for five years 'cause those were the times.
Can Vince really relate to that? What's up with "Medellin"? Why don't you check in with your girl? She should be able to tell you.
- You fucking with us, Ari? - Why would I do that, E? We're all friends.
This is a gesture of friendship.
Now, as a friend, I advise you to call your girl and find out why she didn't hand it to you first.
Car service for nine grand?! What's that all about? That's for drunk girls to get home safely.
We don't need any dead bodies littering Sunset.
Better keep that.
Maybe I could lose the floral arrangements for four grand.
No no no, nothing gets a girl wet like a calla-lily centerpiece.
There's just no way to do this! Maybe we should call it off.
We're not calling it off, Turtle.
We're not getting any younger.
How many of these things do you think we got left? We got a lot left.
Don't drag us into your twilight years, Drama.
Ha, funny.
Here, get rid of all the high-end brand alcohol.
Go generic.
It'll save us a ton.
You know what, why don't we go the complete opposite way and make us a ton? I don't follow.
You will.
You will follow me to the greatest party ever.
Grabbing us the Yellow Pages.
I don't understand why Ari is sending you guys scripts in the first place.
This is a movie Vince has been dying to do for two years, so he just figured, you know.
No, I don't know, Eric.
As far as I know "Medellin" is not available.
Benicio is signed on to play Pablo Escobar.
If that changes, you think it's going to be a big secret? What are you getting so upset about? I'm upset because in order to do my job, I need to know I don't have another voice whispering in my client's ear behind my back.
- You don't.
- Good.
- Make sure Ari knows that.
- I will.
You should know Ari's going to be at Vince's birthday party.
- You okay with that? - As long as he's dressed as a friend.
All right.
I'll check in later.
See you, Eric.
Why would Ari send that script if it's not true? I don't know, but I'm gonna find out tonight.
Find out tonight, but could we stay off the business and have a good time? Seriously, guys, this is a celebration.
Okay okay.
I don't know about you guys, but I cannot wait to get into that party, - have myself a nice lobster tail.
- Lobster? Nice! Unless you want some tasty Kobe beef instead.
We're having that too, Vin.
It's gonna be a surf and turfer's dream.
And what washes surf and turf down better than Cristal? Yeah, I upgraded the champagne too.
What the fuck's he talking about, Drama? I don't know, E.
I, uh - I know nothing.
- It sounds good though.
Come on, E.
Can't you just have a little faith and not doubt me? Maybe this one time I'll have made you proud.
- Oh, Turtle, you're breaking my heart.
- Yeah, mine too.
'Cause we're about to drive by my billboard and nobody seems to give a fuck.
Are you kidding? Of course we give a fuck! Oh shit, the light's busted on it.
You gotta be shitting me.
Motherfuckers.
- Wow.
Holy shit.
Turtle, you know how to stretch a budget.
- What was the budget anyway? - Yeah, Turtle? Calm down, E.
I got help from some friends.
- What friends? - Those friends.
- What's up, baby? You sponsored the party? Hold off on your judgment till you see the whole thing.
Thank you, thank you.
Hello.
Hey, Vince, happy birthday.
- Thanks.
- What's happening, Turtle? - Happy birthday, Vince.
- Thank you.
- Happy birthday, Vince.
Thanks.
Oh, I'm so glad you made it! - Happy birthday.
- Thanks, Sloan.
Hi, babe.
Nice small party, Turtle.
Am I a genius or what, Sloan, huh? You're a genius.
Listen, guys, just to get this out of the way, I called around, "Medellin" is dead for us.
It's shooting in four weeks with Benicio.
All things are a go.
I'm sorry.
Why would Ari get our hopes up like that? - I don't know.
There he is.
Let's ask him.
I'll let you guys take care of your business.
I'm going to get some acupressure.
Hey hey, the birthday boy! And he brought his muscle.
How are you? Ari, regifting old projects again, huh? I'd expect more for Vince's birthday present.
Like what? Like floor seats to the Lakers? I used to give Vince floor seats because it was a Thursday! Guys, be nice.
It's is my birthday.
You are absolutely right, Vince.
I am sorry.
Let's bury the hatchet.
Happy to, as soon as you tell me why you sent my client that script.
If you knew Vince the way I knew Vince, you'd know how badly he wants that movie.
- That movie is gone.
- Really? Benicio is doing it, Ari.
Benicio is falling out of love with it, Vince.
- That's not what I'm hearing.
- Your ears were always tiny, Amanda.
You don't know what the fuck you're talking about.
- He's messing with your head.
- Wanna bet your client on it? Tell you what: If it's true, Vince goes with me.
I don't bet my clients.
I thought you didn't even want me back, Ari? Yeah, I thought you were acting as a friend.
See, you're never what you seem.
Eric, Vince, I need to talk to you alone.
- So do I.
- Okay, listen, because this is the deal.
I will not play this game.
Vince, you decide right now who you're with.
- Me or him, period.
- I'm with you, Amanda.
- Ari is just a friend.
Right, Ari? - Yes.
And as a friend for many years, I am asking you to take one minute alone with me.
Please.
One minute.
One.
- Don't worry, he'll be fine.
- I'm not worried, Eric.
I'm annoyed.
It sounds like a great show.
I'm just shocked I haven't heard anything about it.
Clearly you must not work in the business.
What do you do? I'm a writer for "The Hollywood Reporter.
" But don't take it personally.
I write about movies and I rarely watch TV.
Me neither! I know you better than she does.
I know everything that you need.
I can get you anything that you want and I can't sit back and watch you piss away your whole career like this.
Ari, you said you just wanted to be friends.
I lied.
I can't just be friends.
I just can't.
Jesus.
You think you're the only one who can help me? I had a goal for you when we first started.
We didn't reach that goal.
We can go out and get "Medellin" right fucking now.
I swear to God we can do it, Vinnie.
You just can't stand to lose, Ari.
I think that's what it is.
I mean, you've got your big agency now, and your hundreds of clients, but still losing hurts you so much that you you're willing to do anything no matter how stupid it makes you look.
No, Vinnie, I care so much that I don't care how stupid it makes me look.
Ari, you need to move on.
I have.
Hey, they're looking for you, Vince.
They're ready for the cake.
We're still friends though, right? Yeah.
We will always be friends.
Good.
Come on, Ari.
Let me buy you a slice.
No cake for me.
Getting mean and lean.
- This is the hungry Ari Gold.
- All right, come on.
- He'll be back, hack.
- You want me to walk you to your car? This town's not safe for a bitch.
- Make a good wish, Vince! - Great one.
Hey, don't forget about me, bro! I had your back all year.
You want me to put you in my wish, Johnny? If you don't mind.
What do you want him to wish for, Drama? That someone recognizes you? First of all, you don't say what you want your wish to be out loud, you dumb fuck.
Second, I think Vince can figure out a more rewarding wish to fulfill for me.
Don't worry, I'm gonna wish for what I always wish for that we all have a great year! You said it out loud! You fucked us all.
Whoa! Don't blow anything out yet.
- Mind holding this up while you do it? - Oh, Jesus, Turtle.
Yeah! - Thank you so much.
Happy birthday.
- Thank you.
- Vince.
Happy birthday, buddy.
- E.
- Good fucking party.
- So, birthday boy, just got word from Sam Mendes's people.
They want to skip a meeting and go right to an offer.
Nice! I like the new team.
It's gonna be a good year.
I agree, but actually, I think we should hold off on "Glimpses" for a while just in case Ari's right.