Entourage s04e12 Episode Script

The Cannes Kids

- Wow.
- Three years and a 14-hour flight, we've finally arrived.
Pretty amazing.
Jumping on the bandwagon a little last minute, Suit.
Nah, he's being positive and I appreciate it.
But the big question is, can he stay positive the whole time? I am positive he cannot.
Come on, guys, let's give him a chance.
He had his chances all year.
We should've left him in the States.
Why does it feel like you did? The thing about negativity, E, is it breeds bad outcomes.
- I begged you to watch "The Secret.
" - I watched "The Secret.
" I don't buy that you can get a Ferrari by just wishing for one.
I wished for an Aston Martin and got me one.
Vince got you one, Turtle.
Yeah, but I wished Vince would be a big enough star so he could afford to get me one.
Thanks, Turtle.
It doesn't matter what any of you wish because you are with the master of the universe and he will deliver a sale of "Medellin" not to be believed.
- I sure hope so.
No need to hope, Vince.
This film will sell itself.
Ari will be nothing more than a marionette that shakes his head yes or no, or says "double your offer.
" - Do you believe that, E? - I do, Vince.
I do believe it.
No, I need you to believe it.
Don't lie to me.
I need you to really believe that this movie's good and will sell.
- I do! - Do you believe him? No! - Nice! Oh yeah! Bonjour.
We're checking in under the Vincent Chase party.
Except for me.
I'm under my own party Johnny Chase.
Johnny - They loved "Viking Quest" in France.
What the hell is "Viking Quest"? Is that the "Medellin" crew I spot coming into my city? Jesus, where's the wife? Ari, how are you? - Good to see you.
- Vincent Chase! - Yair, how are you? - Me? I'm hot.
Not as hot as you.
"Medellin" it is the talk of the festival.
- Yeah, well - Feeling good about it? Good? This film is the best film in the history of this film festival.
You could have produced it, Yair.
It's going to be one of the great regrets of your life.
He's feeling confident.
As he should.
- Well, I am here to buy a movie, guys.
And my pockets, they are deep.
We're sorry, but we're here to sell to Americans so that people can see "Medellin" in the States, not in the Arab Emirates.
Don't underestimate me, Ari.
I'm making big moves.
Why don't you and the guys join me on my boat for a fabulous soiree and I'll tell you all about it? We'd love to but we're going to go to Brad and Angelina's boat today.
They're throwing a party this afternoon.
That was yesterday, Ari.
I get the feeling you boys are blowing me off, yes? No.
I mean, if it's my wife you are concerned about, Vincent, she's not here.
- No.
- We are through.
See, that's my new girl over there.
Trust me, I'd never let you fuck her, huh? No, it's not that.
It's just we're tired from the trip.
We have photo op in an hour.
You should come to the screening tomorrow, Yair.
If he can get a ticket.
What do you mean you sold out? I'm Johnny Chase.
I booked this months ago.
Check again.
- Fucking French cocksuckers.
- This is like Sundance all over again.
- Can he stay with E, Vince, please? - I'm not staying with E.
- No, you're not.
- You're not staying with me.
- I'm not staying with anybody.
Sleep on the sand.
They said they'd have a room for you in a couple of hours.
Just relax, guys.
They'd better because I've been dreaming about this trip for months, picturing myself out on my balcony, overlooking What's that water they got out here? Perrier.
- The Mediterranean.
- The Mediterranean.
Me and some French beauty locked up in our own "Last Tango in Paris" kind of way, living off Dom Perignon and profiteroles and doing nothing but fucking.
You can't find anyone to fuck in L.
A.
, Drama.
What makes you think you're gonna find someone here? Because I'm a celebrity out here, Billy.
Uh, you're a celebrity in L.
A.
, Johnny.
Not like France.
In France, I'm a Viking god.
"A Viking god"? You doubt that? Check French Amazon's top sellers.
"Viking Quest" has been on there as long as "Dark Side of the Moon.
" Well, even Jerry Lewis gets pussy here, so who knows? Monsieur Chase, this is your room right here.
This is incredible.
Wow, they all this big? Four in a row, all identical, - all with this view.
Unreal! Fucking French cocksuckers.
What's the matter, Lloyd, you and Tom want to listen to my voice while you dildo each other? No, I have Nicky Rubenstein for you.
Tell him you're on a cruise with your very own king of the world and have him call me direct.
Can I get a Nutella, please? - Are you eating crepes, Ari? - No.
Walk away, Ari Gold.
You know you can't wheel and deal with a big fat belly.
- I need energy, Lloyd.
- Okay, okay.
Nicky, you're on with Ari.
Ari, you have Nicky.
Lower, Tom, lower! Oh! Ohh-hhh.
- Hey, Ari.
- Nicky Rubenstein, how's my favorite stay-at-home convict? Well, I'm not there so how the fuck do you think I am? Why don't you rip off that anklet, hop on a plane? You still have time to make it before the screening.
Right.
The judge won't even let me remove it to get rid of this rash.
Ew! - So I just got a call from Yair Marx.
And? And he would love to tell you all about his new company.
It's a waste of time, Nicky.
You got something better to do Ari, or? Yeah.
Vince wants to find some French models to undress.
I didn't pay for you to go down there to have a fucking vacation.
Yair Marx is not a real buyer.
Well, his money's real.
And until you find a realer one, I suggest you go over there and listen to everything he has to say.
- Nicky! - Ari, I would've hired a sales rep if I thought you were gonna be a pain in the ass.
- Nicky, listen to me - Shut the fuck up, Ari! This is my thing, okay? I'm in charge.
So get your ass over to the party with Vince and Walsh before I pull my credit card and you guys are paying for your own incidentals! Look at all the girls.
This might not be so bad after all.
If I had a room it would be phenomenal.
You know what, Drama? You get a girl, you can have my room till yours is ready.
Or mine.
Okay, hotshots, give me your keys.
Just know, once I go in, - I ain't coming back out.
- Oh-hhh! Get the girl first, all right? - Then we'll talk.
- All right.
- Hi.
You're Tarvold.
- That's right.
Come dance, Tarvold.
- The keys, Turtle, keys.
- Fuck that, Tarvold.
So this is Cannes, huh? Hanging out with a bunch of freaky Eurotrash? - E's being negative, Vince.
- Shut up.
Ah, the boys have arrived.
Thank you for coming.
We have caviar, Cristal, and all the longest legs in France, huh? You like? You know, I'm kind of an ass man, myself, but they'll do.
Genevieve, Genevieve.
You take this man down to the guest bedroom, you give him your best blowjob, huh? A thousand thanks.
Now we men will go down to my stateroom and we talk.
- I'm gonna get my balls licked later.
- Can't help you there, Billy.
What's going on, Yair? I want an early look at your movie, huh? I want to see it before everyone else.
Hey, if I like what I see I pay big money.
Everyone's going to like what they see and everyone's going to pay big money, so stand in line.
No one has the kind of money that I have.
I pay in euros.
Raffi! Raffi! Bring in the gold.
What's this? - It's party favors.
Open them.
- Where's mine? - You take 10% of Vince's.
We appreciate this, Yair.
But, uh, we can't accept these.
I could accept it, but I got a gold Rolex from my parents for high school graduation.
But I love that Patek Philippe you're rocking.
You have a good eye, Mr.
Walsh.
Tell you what, you show me your movie, it is yours.
Never happen.
Yair, we waited three months for tomorrow night.
There's no way we can show it early.
Ari, please tell these boys how much money I have.
Uh, too much, but what you don't have is distribution.
Ahhh, I do now.
I am announcing it tomorrow.
I am sinking 100 mil into a new outlet.
I hired the head of Pixar marketing you know the girl who did "Nemo"? I love that fish.
I am very real and I want "Medellin" to be my first real acquisition.
We'll talk tomorrow after you watch the movie.
Is there no way I can change your mind? Not unless you still have the Mossad on retainer.
Sorry, Yair.
Would you be offended if I sold this? Ah, never mind.
$20 million.
What? - I offer $20 million sight unseen, we announce it tomorrow.
- Yair - $25 million.
- Yair, our budget was 35 million.
- 35 then.
I am not playing games.
I give you till before the screening to give me an answer.
Oh, Mr.
Walsh for your consideration.
That's amazing.
I didn't even know that episode aired 'cause we got canceled in the middle of shooting it.
It aired here.
I must have seen it 100 times.
- 100? Come on.
- I'm not exaggerating.
My whole family, especially my father, was obsessed with "Viking Quest.
" At 9:00 P.
M.
Every Thursday, he'd yell - Really? - Oui! He even bought my brother the uniform that you donned on the show for his birthday one year.
And he'd wear it so proudly, even though his muscles were not as big as yours.
- That's amazing.
- Amazing is meeting you, - here.
- Yeah.
So shall we go back to your hotel? Uh, yeah, yeah.
Well, if we wait about walked really slow, my room should be ready.
Can he really write that check, Ari? Yair won't write a check.
He'll deliver cash in multiple duffle bags.
Does everyone get a bag like the watch? - Turtle, I think you've had enough.
- I do feel good, Vince.
Look, nobody's getting anything from the guy.
I want to sell to a studio, a studio that's known for winning Oscars.
I agree.
- But it is a good offer, no? E, I mean Does nobody but me think we should seriously consider this? No.
- It's a good money offer, yes, but do you really want to be the guinea pig in this guy's new distributing company? The guy's not gonna sink $35 million into a movie and just let it die, Ari.
- E, I know you're nervous E's not nervous, - he's a class-A pussy.
- A pussy? Nobody's seen the movie.
We've got an offer that can get us all our money back.
- It's never been about the money.
- It became about that when we emptied our bank accounts and put every dollar we had into it.
Who cares about money? You didn't put any in, so why would you, Billy? I told you I'd buy you out.
Just say the word and you'd have no risk.
- And no reward.
- Is that what you want? E, in or out, it's up to you.
I'm in.
I'm in.
You sure? You can come by and shine up Vince's Oscar any time.
- I'm in.
- Big balls for a little man, I love it.
Let's call Nicky and see if he's got them as well.
- Please tell me my room is ready.
- But of course, Mr.
Chase.
Just like I said.
Oh, Jacqueline, you have a beautiful je ne sais quoi.
And you are very funny.
- Oui oui.
- I'm missing your funny face on TV.
I have a new show now.
It hasn't hit France yet, but it will.
- I cannot wait.
- This is it, Mr.
Chase.
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
I'm supposed to be on the ocean side.
Johnny, it's okay.
Oh no, no, no, no, no.
This is no good.
- Is something wrong? - Everything's wrong.
There's no balcony, no view, no room for a tray of profiteroles.
But there is a bed, Johnny.
That's all we need.
- Thank you very much.
Have a nice day.
- Thank you.
Come over here, you! What's wrong? I want this to be special, really special.
Give me five minutes.
I'm gonna go downstairs.
I'm gonna talk to the manager.
- No.
No.
- I'm gonna make it perfect.
- Trust me.
- I trust you, Johnny.
You're my Viking warrior.
Back in five.
Le victory! Oooh, you gave me chills.
Back in a flash, ma cherie.
Nicky, calm down.
Jesus Christ! Hey, don't tell me to fucking calm down, Ari.
Listen, it's the first offer the first of many.
- Yeah well, I wanna take it.
- No you don't.
Yes, I do actually, Ari.
I should have taken Harvey's offer when you got it.
No, you shouldn't and you shouldn't take this one because Yair Marx will fuck this movie up.
What movie is that, Ari? The movie my director won't let me see even though I sunk $30 fucking million into it? What are you so panicked about? This is very stressful, Ari, okay? I've been sober for nearly a year which is not easy with fucking enablers around! Party pooper.
Plus I'm having some financial difficulties.
Like what, the cupholder in your Bugatti is broken? No, I got smoked by this cocksucker's hedge fund gone bad.
I'm in really bad shape.
If I don't get my money out of this film, I'm going to have to move to the fucking Valley.
Ew.
Can you two shut the fuck up? I'm not paying you to talk.
Nicky, trust me.
- You will get other offers.
- How do you know? The same way I knew your father was banging his secretary before everyone in town did: Instinct.
Nicky, trust me, baby, we will get better offers.
Okay, Ari, you've got until screening time to work this shit out, okay? Because I'm not taking any fucking chances.
Au revoir.
I'm sorry I snapped.
I'm an American citizen.
You can't treat me like this.
Please, Mr.
Chase, calm your voice.
Don't tell me to calm down.
I booked this room three months ago, confirmed it a dozen times at least.
But we have no record of it, and now you want the honeymoon suite? - But I am afraid it is occupied.
- By who? Honeymooners.
What does it matter? You would never treat George Clooney this way.
Ah, Monsieur Clooney - film actor.
- Oh ho ho ho.
- Keep pushing me, buddy.
- Are we finished here? - No, I want my suite! - Well there is nothing that can be done about that.
So why don't you stop acting like a spoiled vulgar American and enjoy your stay? Fuck you.
- I beg your pardon? - You heard me, you pompous French fuck.
Fuck you! I would like you to leave my hotel and never return.
I'd like to see you make me.
Hmph.
Marcel, show Monsieur Chase to the curb.
Oh hey, get your fucking hands off me.
Okay okay okay.
Let me just go up to my room and get my girl, okay? Hey, someone go up to room 402, get my girl, tell her Tarvold will be waiting for her.
Get your hands off me I am on vacation, Ari! You're going to be on permanent vacation if we don't sell this movie.
Now I want you to break out your pink Rolodex, call every queer assistant in town and tell them to open their mouths like J.
T.
Is going to drop a load in it.
The disinformation campaign starts now.
Time is of the essence.
I want you to hype this bitch! That's your genius plan, Ari? I got plenty of genius plans.
You guys just do your jobs.
- What's that? - To hype this movie in there like you got the next "Pulp Fiction" and smile.
Mr.
Chase, Mr.
Walsh.
- I'll see you guys in there.
- And Mr? Uh, Murphy.
I'm the producer.
Oh.
We'll announce you in just a moment.
Where's Jacqueline? - Did you go to the room? - Oui But mademoiselle, she wasn't there.
- Yeah, but - Perhaps she has left.
I've been waiting here the whole time I would've seen her.
- Maybe she went out the back.
- This ain't the back? - Jesus Christ.
- I'm very sorry, but I must get back to work before they see me speaking to you.
What? Dana Gordon, here supporting the family.
I love it.
- You saving a seat for me? - Actually I was hoping we wouldn't have to speak till after the screening.
Unfortunately, we actually do.
Why, what's up? Well, I'm only telling you this don't tell a soul.
- We are selling "Medellin" tonight.
- Uh-huh.
- No one's seen it.
- We have an offer.
- From who? - It doesn't matter.
It's on the table and it's big.
What are you trying to pull, Ari? I'm trying to make sure you don't lose the next Vinnie Chase- Billy Walsh masterpiece.
We don't buy movies without seeing them.
No, you just hire people off them.
You don't really want someone else in control of this thing while you're producing "Clouds," do you? It's called "Silo" now, Ari, or did you forget that that's the movie your clients decided to make? Whatever.
Just tell your boss, all right? You're full of shit.
I was full of shit when I told you I had a condom at Live Aid, this, on my children's names, is real.
Mesdames et messieurs, ladies and gentlemen, the star and the creators of "Medellin," Monsieur Vincent Chase; Le realisateur the director, monsieur Billy Walsh; et le producteur the producer, monsieur Eric Murphy.
Eric Murphy.
Eric Murphy.
Pardon.
Excusez-moi.
- Oui.
- Do you know this girl? - Um, no.
No.
- Maybe you've seen her.
No, desolee.
How about you ladies? Have you seen this girl at all, by any chance? - No, but she's pretty.
- Sorry.
Merci.
Was that Tarvold? You guys killed it up there.
I'm telling you, it's only a matter of time before the offers start rolling in.
You really believe that, Ari? I really believe it.
I believe in the power of positivity.
I believe in "The Secret.
" Now will you please believe with me? Not since the Nazis stormed these beaches has a bigger group of scumbags muddied these clear blue waters.
- How are you, Harvey? - I'm well.
I understand you guys have a hot little property.
- Well - I heard that you had an offer.
Who did you hear that from? I have an assistant who keeps his ear to the ground.
- Who's it from, Universal? - Can't really talk about that now.
But if you want to get in the mix, we're ready to listen.
Not if they froze my balls in dry ice.
Not if they stuck my dick in a lawnmower.
And you know why? It's not because I don't think it might be a good movie, it's because I hate this little fucking prick right here.
This little fucking prick! What the fuck are you doing? I am just apologizing for my man's indiscretion earlier - with a hug, that's it.
- I see.
Okay, don't.
Don't.
I gotta get a drink before I kill someone.
All right, Harvey.
All right.
- What the hell was that? - I'm just trying to pull a rabbit out of the hat for you, Vinnie.
Hello.
Tomorrow morning, I'll have an offer ready.
Time to drink, boys.
Excuse me.
Yair? Hey, Johnny Chase.
- Hey - Are you okay? Uh, not really, No.
I got evicted from the hotel.
I don't have international calling so I can't get ahold of Vince.
And I somehow got separated from the young lady I met on the boat.
I was wondering if you knew where she was, or if she came back here? - I've got a picture of her.
- Ah.
- Her name is Jacqueline.
- No, I am sorry, I don't.
Hey, hold on.
Hey, any of you ladies, - do you know this girl? - No.
No.
I'm sorry, Johnny.
Thanks, Yair.
You girls, excuse me for a moment.
Hey, Johnny, Johnny.
Hold on.
You pick.
Any of these girls, they are yours, huh? The one on the left Cara, her pussy's as soft as Patasi silk, huh? The short-haired one, Nadia, she is a gymnast.
She will hang upside down from the ceiling as you tickle her asshole.
Ah, Cecilia, she is my favorite.
She has the best cans in Cannes.
So you choose.
Whichever you wish, she is yours.
Well, thanks, Yair, but I don't need a girl, just a warm bed if you've got one.
Of course I have one of those.
But, please, - take Cara too.
- Thanks, but really I can't.
Why not? Because I'm in love.
Can you feel the excitement? I've got offers and no one's seen a single frame.
Please.
Who hasn't done that, Ari? Yeah, but I will close.
For how much? What do you think she's gonna offer? I'm guessing 150 mil.
- What, are you retarded? You can get that, Ari, right? I like the faith, Turtle, but not with Dana, naw.
- She made me split the abortion.
- Jesus.
Long as we get with a real studio, with a real release, I don't care if we sell for five bucks.
Well, Nicky Rubenstein would care, trust me.
He won't let us sell this thing for one dollar less than Yair's offering.
Then you'd better get her there, huh? Don't worry about that.
Master of the universe, fellas.
Enjoy the ride.
$15 million.
I didn't really cancel my massage for this, did I, Dana? Your budget will be first to be recouped upon the film's release.
No way.
We need much more up front.
- But there is no more.
- Come on! You can do better than that.
Richard doesn't really believe you have another offer, Ari.
So that's it.
Take it or leave it.
I'm sorry, but we're gonna have to leave it.
How much do you want, Ari? $50 mil.
- 50? - Yeah.
Fuck you.
Vince, Billy, E, I'm sorry.
Come on, you just are you kidding? All right, Dana, Dana.
Can I be honest with you? We do have another offer on the table 35 million Exactly the budget of this movie.
Nicky Rubenstein wants to take it but we don't want to be in business It doesn't matter who we don't want to be in business with.
Is it Harvey? Because my assistant thinks it's Fox.
Could be Fox, could be Universal, could be Sony.
Could be your old boss who kicked you out on your ass, who knows? - Dana - Vince! It doesn't matter who, and that's all we're gonna say about it.
Except that we want to do this with you, Dana.
- We want to win Oscars.
- But Nicky, he wants his money back.
- So I should be talking to him.
- I am him! Just get us a reasonable price.
Okay, 50? That's reasonable? Look, just get our investors their money back.
That's all we want.
It's not all I wanted.
- Hello.
Hey, Turtle.
Hey, Drama.
What's up, buddy? Hey, you still holed up with that little cutie? No.
- You okay? - Yeah, I'm okay.
I just called to let you know I'm okay and I'll see you at the screening.
- Are you guys okay? - We're great.
Vince is about to sell the movie to Dana Gordon for like 50 mil.
Really? That's great.
That's great.
Give him a big hug for me.
I'll see you at the screening party.
Later.
Everybody hunky-dory, Johnny? Yeah, baby bro just got a $50 million offer for his movie.
All right.
- I can go to 22.
- We have no room here, Dana.
I thought you didn't have any more money? I'll go call Nicky.
You get up from this table and it's over.
Look me in the face and say yes or no.
We can't do it for less than 35, Dana, we really can't.
I don't have authorization to spend that much.
Then get your authorization on the phone.
Look, this is really awkward, guys.
I mean we're gonna be working together on the next movie and I'm at my limit.
- I am sorry.
- I'll take my five million - after the movie turns a profit.
Me too.
Well, my 237,000.
Jesus, you guys are fucking crazy.
That's how much we believe in this, Dana.
Come on, make up the difference.
It's less than two mil.
It's not a lot.
It's not a lot.
- Done.
- Yeah.
I can sell this to Richard.
All right, but you gotta you gotta tell me.
- Was it Harvey? - Yes! - It was Harvey.
- Oh, I knew it! - Shall we get a drink? - Yes, let's do it.
- It'd be rude not to.
- Turtle's buying.
Vin, you got the credit card? Nicky, my man, listen, I just got you a real studio offer that's gonna get you back every dollar that you put in.
That's terrific, Ari.
I just got off the phone with Yair who offered me 75.
And I took it.
Line me up some rails, bitches, because we're celebrating! We did it.
We fucking did it, Ari.
Dana.
Thank you.
All right, cheers.
Cheers.
Dana Gordon.
Drama, you've known her less than a day.
How can you love her? I've known her long enough to know she doesn't have any of those things that would make me not love her.
It doesn't bother you that she just wants to fuck you because you're a celebrity? No, I love it.
Nobody's ever wanted to sleep with me just 'cause I'm a celebrity.
It makes me feel wanted and validated all at the same time.
So, are we all miserable? - Not in the slightest.
- We're actually relieved.
- I'm relieved to hear it.
- I'm not relieved.
If that slimy Middle Eastern cocksucker fucks up this release I'll kill him and I'll kill you too, Ari.
- Hey, Yair! - Johnny! - Johnny! - Jacqueline! Johnny, where were you? Hey, baby.
I waited for you all night at the hotel.
- Where were you? - I'm so sorry.
I'll explain later.
I knew this was the only place I'd find you again.
Come here.
Everybody in for the movie the world has been waiting for.
So you're not upset that you're not inside at your brother's screening? Naw, baby bro's all grown up now.
He don't need me anymore.
But I need you.
Well, you have me.
I wish I had a place to take you.
I've still got no room.
It doesn't matter.
There's no one around.
Oooh, sexe sur la plage I like it.
I love it.
Thanks for not selling me this movie, Ari.
It's the one nice thing you've ever done for me.
Congratulations, Yair.
I hear it's all yours.
I never signed anything.
What are you talking about? That's the worst piece of shit I've ever seen! Yair, we have a deal, right? Sue me.
My company's based out of Dubai.
Good luck.
I'm sorry, Vince.
Hey, where the fuck are you French faggots going?! Show some respect for the below-the-line people and watch the credits.
What, no Q&A? It ain't easy making a movie, huh? - You come to gloat, Harvey? - No, no.
I just came to say that E was right.
There's genius in this.
- You want to buy it? - I do.
For $1.
So we lost $74,999,000.
And $999.
It's only money, you know? - And we still got Harvey.
Again.
And for only $24,999,000 less than when I had him.
All I know is that Harvey is the guy you want in this situation.
You should have seen "Shakespeare in Love" before he put his scissor hands on it.
- So you think we're still good? - I know we're all good.
- Way to be positive.
- Oh please, come on.
The guy's about as positive - as Mother Teresa's AIDS test.
Fuck you, Ari.
Excuse me.
What's happening? Tarvold from "Viking Quest" has been making love to a woman on the beach for three hours.
Come on.
This I gotta see.
Way to go, Drama! Hey, how'd it go, bro? - We killed it, Johnny.
- Yeah!