Entourage s07e06 Episode Script


ÿþ1 Tell us, Vince, what are we doing here? We're having our own private launch party for our new tequila company.
Name, Vin.
Give 'em the name.
Uh, Tequila Avion.
- Avión.
- Avión.
- Huh-uh, Avión.
- Avión! And who is this? This is my friend Sasha.
Aren't we more than friends by now? Oh no no, we are.
We're very good friends.
- And this is my friend.
- Alex.
Notice how she didn't say we're more than friends? You don't make a move soon, Turtle, I'm gonna have to.
- What, am I not here? - I'm just saying.
He's made moves.
We're just taking it slow.
Real slow.
Like the 405 at rush hour.
Well, Alex, all I know is I've had a lot of sex in my life and the best sex I've ever had was while drinking this.
Can we quote international star of stage and screen Sasha Grey on that? I'm not shy.
Drink this and you'll have the best sex of your life.
Guys can fuck like me and girls can fuck like a porn star.
Come on, Vince.
That was awesome.
Oh my God.
So what is the deal? Are you two gonna bang or what? Jesus, Drama.
I thought you were dead.
No, I'm just unemployed, sad and lonely.
Don't worry, I'm saving a piece of my piece of this company for you.
That makes me feel much better.
Say something on camera about it.
You're a pseudo-celeb.
I don't drink tequila.
I drink Johnny Blue 'cause I'm not a pseudo-man like you.
- All right, you're out.
- I am out.
Doesn't drink tequila.
Huh, what a loser.
What? I was gonna kiss you.
- You've already kissed me.
- Fine, then I won't.
Why? Why do you like teasing me so much? I told you, I'm not that easy.
No, you're like breaking into Fort Knox.
Then I guess you'd better keep trying.
Yay, Turtle.
Okay, so what are we looking at here? Well, sexual harassment maybe.
Wrongful termination possibly.
I didn't terminate her.
She quit.
She felt that she was overlooked for a promotion she deserved.
I would have given it to her.
Whose side are you on? I didn't do anything wrong here.
Obviously Amanda Daniels disagrees.
Why would she be willing to spend her money supporting Lizzie? - To get back at me.
- For what? He stopped her from getting a job she wanted once upon a time also.
There is no case here.
You say Lizzie's written down things you've said? - Yes, in a journal.
- Yeah, made-up words obviously.
- Obviously.
- Look, it's her word against mine, right? They'll subpoena everyone in this office.
What might they say? What do you think they might say? He told me I'd look good with a ball gag in my mouth last week.
- Ari.
- Lloyd! - Yes? - What would you say about my treatment of you over the last five years? - Treatment? - This is Jim Lefkowitz, Lloyd.
- Our attorney.
- Attorney? - What's going on? - The lovely Lizzie Grant may sue me.
And you, Lloyd, and everyone who works here may be asked to describe how Ari treats his employees.
So what would you say? Ari has always been gracious and lovely, fair and reasonable.
This has been a dreamlike job from minute one.
And would you say that if you were under oath, facing a perjury charge and possible jail time? Oh God, I can't do time, Ari.
I don't think anybody in my family could.
- I'm sorry.
- Go! So do you think others would speak better of him? Worse is my guess.
What do you suggest? Well, I mean, you're trying to bring an NFL team to Los Angeles.
- So? - So the NFL doesn't like controversy.
This goes to trial, win or lose, that's over.
You know that.
And your wife and kids won't like it either.
I haven't done anything wrong.
- Jim, what do you suggest? - I suggest you offer Ms.
Grant a generous amount of money to not pursue legal action.
I already offered her a generous severance package.
I'm offering her nothing else.
I'll call her new boss and convince her not to waste her time or her money on this thing.
Just make sure she doesn't write down everything you say.
- She's right.
- Jake! Get Amanda Daniels on the phone.
- Morning, E.
- Morning.
Late night? You look tired.
I was up till 10:00 tasting wedding cakes.
I'm not tired, I'm nauseous.
- Any sign of an offer for Vince? - Mm-hmm.
- How is it? - Oh, I didn't look.
Okay, it's incredible.
- Wow.
Scott! - Oh, and a Billy Walsh called.
- Scott! Oh, come on.
- Yeah, why, who is he? He was supposed to be a big director for a minute.
Never heard of him? - Shall I call him back? - No, but call Ari.
Tell him I want to talk to him about this.
Thank you.
Yes, Murray, I know.
Yes, Murray, I know.
Eric's here, he says hello.
- Hi, Murray.
- He says hi, yeah.
Okay, I love you.
I really do.
Have a good trip.
- Have fun.
Okay, bye.
I hate myself.
- What's the problem? - He wants me to babysit his house.
- He's got a nice house.
He also has two pugs that do nothing but snore and shit.
- Don't worry about that.
Look at this.
- What is it? Vince's offer for "Air-Walker.
" - Back end? - Huge, and 12 upfront.
Holy shit! I have Billy Walsh again.
Tell him I'm out of town or something like that.
- Did you call Ari? - I left word with his assistant.
Call him back, tell him we're heading down there.
- We are? - Yes.
You can be my eyewitness that he had absolutely nothing to do with this.
I can do that.
- Johnny, you've got to stop drinking.
- Why? 'Cause you've been going for 16 straight hours.
- So have you.
- Yeah, but I'm happy drinking.
I'm gonna keep doing it until I get a job.
Maybe you should do a play.
I'd love to, bro, but I can't afford it.
My mortgage rate's ready to reset.
Whatever movie I do next I'm making sure there's a role in it for you.
And I got your mortgage until you find a job.
And that will be pretty soon I'm sure.
How do you know, bro? I was on a series six months ago.
I haven't had an offer since.
Dos Equis asked me to be the least interesting man in the world.
Johnny, this town is up and down, up and down.
You know that.
I mean, look at me.
I was done, but I came back.
- And you will too.
- I hope so, bro.
But for now, let me wallow in my misery.
Stop wallowing with my tequila.
- I'm gonna run out of samples.
- Boo.
What, are you in a bad mood too? - No, why? - You look sad.
I guess he couldn't close Alex.
It was looking pretty good to me.
I closed.
I closed.
- Great, so how was it? - For me or for her? We know it couldn't have been any good for her, so let's hear about you.
But first, have a drink.
- It's 10:00 AM.
- Suit yourself.
Top me off, bro.
So what happened? I really don't want to talk about this.
Lighten up, Turtle.
If it's any consolation, this moonshine of yours is starting to grow on me.
- Great.
- Come on, tell us what happened.
I closed.
I did.
I just didn't close well.
What, did you pop off early? It's been a long time for you.
Yeah, Turtle, that's no big deal.
No, it wasn't that.
It just didn't start out so good and then I couldn't find my groove.
What, you didn't eat it right? - Disaster.
- I'm sure you're just imagining it.
No, I'm not.
And the truth is I've been imagining it for a month.
She is so hot and then finally I was all ready and I made my way down there and.
- What? - Nothing.
- Something.
- You guys are gonna laugh at me.
- No we won't.
- No no no.
Okay, I made my way down there just as the sun came up.
The harsh light hit it directly and it was completely bald and I freaked.
Yeah, see? I'm sorry.
Why did you freak? Seriously, Turtle.
I love that.
It's like you peel back the curtains to reveal the mystery of Oz.
I don't have a problem with it.
It's just that close-up with the sun, it shocked me.
What, you saw a shaved box before? I have in porn.
Just not in 3D.
I've been with girls who were nicely groomed.
landing strip.
The landing strip went out in the mid '90s, bro.
It's the truth.
Everyone goes smooth nowadays.
- Even you, I bet.
- Smooth balls for sure.
And I hope you do yours as well.
- I don't groom my dick, no.
- Are you kidding? It's 2010; you'd better.
- Do people really do this, Vin? - I only know about my own dick.
And, Turtle, you should only worry about yours.
But listen, you haven't been with many chicks since Jamie.
Many meaning zero.
And you were nervous.
So I'm sure you did fine.
No, I didn't.
I need another shot.
- Well, I am sure you will get one.
- I hope.
Well, if you do, you'd better do a little courtesy manscaping.
Can't have your dick looking like a Chia Pet, bro.
Can I just get a little support? At least tell me I'm not crazy.
No, you're not crazy.
Murray's hard on you.
People get into patterns in work relationships.
Sometimes it's hard to get out of them.
You'll see with Ari and I.
- Why? How's that go? - Well, he's a dick.
- Better not be a dick to me.
- Take it easy.
Would it be so bad if I gave Ari Gold a smack in front of all his peers? Hey, Eric, and.
- Scott.
- Scott.
I told your office now is not a good time.
Ari is not in a great mood.
- Has that whore called me back yet? - Told you.
No, not yet.
- I'm gonna cheer him up, Jake.
- No, Eric, wait.
- Uh, Ari.
- Hey, Ari.
What is this, the Big Brother Program of America? - Except who's the Big Brother? - This is Scott Lavin.
- So? - I called you last week twice about Vince.
What are you two doing in my office when you don't have a meeting on the books? - Is he kidding? - We're here for Vince.
You remember Vince? He doesn't play in the NFL but he still makes a good amount of money.
Who the fuck are you and why am I wasting my time listening to you? E, I got a lot on my plate.
Speak fast.
We got a big offer for Vince.
Could be worth $100 million over three movies.
- Look, now he's paying attention.
- Scott.
- Randall Wallace? - And Stan Lee.
- Why don't I know about this? - 'Cause you don't call anybody back.
- I'll call Vince myself.
- Don't do that.
Truth is we got this done without you but we obviously care about your opinion.
Thank you, I appreciate it.
The truth is I've been a little under it lately.
- NFL? - Personal stuff.
Oh wow.
Everything okay with the family? - Yeah, thanks.
- Amanda Daniels.
- I've got to take this.
- She's on her way up.
- She's on her way up? - Uh-huh.
- What are you doing with Amanda? - Nothing.
You hitting that? Look, you guys got to go.
This is really important.
I will call you as soon as I go over this very thoroughly.
- He is hitting that.
- Listen, E, I'll call you in an hour.
Make sure that your dopplegang-banger stays off the line.
Go! - Hello, Amanda.
- Hello, Eric.
- Get the fuck out.
- Don't ever touch me again, - you fucking jerkoff.
- What are you doing here, Amanda? You called and I thought you might threaten me to my face.
- No one wants to threaten you, okay? - Then what do you want? I just simply want to know if you really want to burn every last dollar that you have trying to slander my name.
- Slander? - Mm-hmm.
No, I read Lizzie's journals.
There's some pretty horrific stuff in there, even for you.
Why are you doing this? Because once upon a time you walked into my office and you took a job away from me that I deserved simply because you could.
- So it's about payback? - No no, this is like arms control.
See, you're like Iran and I need to take away your weapons because you're reckless.
You're smart enough to know it's only a matter of time before I scoop up one of your castoffs and sue you right back.
Unlike you, I had the foresight to work Lizzie for a while.
So I have proof, you'd only have hearsay.
Lizzie's little work-of-fiction journal proves that I'm guilty like Lindsay "Blow-han" proves that fame is fucking healthy.
She has recordings of you too.
- Your voice.
- Bullshit.
Oh, it's true.
The tapes are so clear it sounds like they were professionally recorded.
- You heard them? - I listened to them, yeah, the last three nights and played with myself while fantasizing about fucking you in the ass.
Anything else you wanted to say? I freed up my afternoon.
You follow through on this and you're starting a war.
Then man up, Ari, because I love to battle.
It's funny, you know.
This was actually less hostile than I expected.
So Vince has been tweeting the shit out of the tequila.
- Oh yeah? - Yeah.
- Said he started a new company.
- That's great.
I was thinking of posting some of the videos.
- The cool ones, not the silly ones.
- Yeah.
How's your sandwich? Good.
Better than last night.
- What? - I'm kidding.
- No you weren't.
- Come on, it was awkward.
- You think? - I think maybe we just did it too soon.
Or maybe we shouldn't have done it at all.
No no no, of course we should have done it.
It was my fault.
It was me.
- I take full responsibility.
- For what? - For the awkwardness.
- What happened? We were having a great time and then the second the clothes came off you turned into a clumsy mute.
I wasn't feeling great.
I don't know, Turtle.
Maybe we're just not meant to be like that.
I mean, Sasha said she had the best sex of her life on our tequila.
I thought it was the worst.
It wasn't the worst.
Okay, you've got to give me another shot.
Maybe we're just meant to be business partners.
No no no, come on.
I will wine you and dine you and woo you and I will blow your mind in bed.
You think? Let me try.
You can try.
Excuse me.
Can I have some ketchup, please? - Hello.
- Hi.
Hi, I'm William Walsh.
I'm an old friend of Vince's.
I'm Sasha, a new friend of Vince's.
Billy Walsh.
Oh my God.
Vince, how are you? It's been awhile.
I'll say.
Come here.
How are you? - I'm okay.
- Hey, Sash, this is Billy Walsh, - an amazing filmmaker.
- That's kind of you to say.
I thought you looked familiar, but different.
I've been through a lot and back again.
- Can I come in? - Of course, of course.
Hey, Johnny, look who's here.
Jeez, Billy Walsh.
It's like a mirage.
- How are you, Drama? - Peachy, Billy.
I'm getting jerked off by the network 'cause nobody can find an idea for me.
You got one? Not off the top of my head, no.
You seem angry, Drama.
I've always been, Billy.
Only now I'm drunk too.
- I shot a movie with you.
- Yeah, uh.
You know, maybe this wasn't the best place for me to come.
Porn stars, alcohol, manic depressives.
I've avoided all temptation for the last 24 months now.
So what are you doing here, Billy? I came to get back into the business I left behind.
Vince isn't gonna make another stinker with you, Billy, if that's what you're thinking.
No, Vince isn't what I need at this point.
So what do you need? E.
Vince needs to get rid of Ari.
- Enough already.
- I'm being serious.
I mean, the guy is barely even in the business anymore.
What do you think is gonna happen when he's standing on an NFL sideline spending all his time trying to bang cheerleaders? Look, Ari's got a big mouth but he's done a lot by us.
And he's obviously got some serious stuff going on.
So does Vince and he needs someone who's gonna be on the ball.
Are you telling me you can't handle an offer? You can't make sure he's paid? Make sure he has a nice trailer? Ari and Vince's attorneys handle the little details.
We can take it to his attorney.
We can handle the details.
If Ari's so stressed out maybe he'd appreciate you taking the reins on this one.
Come on, aren't you tired of being a pushover? - Who's a pushover? - We both are.
We handled this thing for Vince.
We're basically the ones keeping this company afloat.
- So now you're back to Murray? - Of course I'm back to Murray.
We do all the work.
I mean, the guy is literally never here.
- I wouldn't say never.
- You wouldn't say never? Murray! Hey, Murray! - Anyone seen Murray, ever? - Are you on drugs? No, I'm fucking angry, as you should be too.
- About what, Murray or Ari? - About both of them.
They are checking out, okay? We cannot.
This is our future, all right? You saw how we handled this deal with Vince.
You saw how we handled Ari.
We can run Vince and this company without either one of them.
You do realize that I'm marrying Murray's god-daughter, right? - The one who got me this job.
- Family before business, I get it.
But you and Sloan are about to start your own family so you need to start.
- Shauna's on the phone freaking out.
- Who isn't? She says that Vince tweeted that he started some tequila company and Turtle posted some racy videos about it.
No, I did not know that Vince was dating a porn star, Shauna.
No, I didn't know that he started his own tequila company either.
I have to go.
Lizzie Grant.
I didn't know that you ate here.
Well, I know you don't eat here 'cause you don't like, and I'm quoting, "eating with all the pussy-ass bitch agents.
" You know what? I have grown to love my own kind.
- Are you following me? - You can't prove it.
You would be amazed at what I could prove.
- I talked to your boss.
- I'm aware.
Yeah, she may use nicer words but she's a much worse person than me.
Anyone in this town could tell you that.
That is so funny because she swears you're the worst person she's ever dealt with.
- Stealing clients, lying.
- Have you ever seen me steal clients? Ari, I have no interest in talking to you.
Well, I have an interest in you not sullying my name.
So tell me what you want.
- What I want? - Yes.
How much money to settle so we don't end up in court where you will lose? A writer's assistant on a sitcom once sued for inappropriate talk.
It went to the Supreme Court.
You know what they told her? They told her that the writers can talk about gang-banging her all day long as long as they don't do it.
I know the case.
They're creative.
You're certainly not.
So you can talk about gang-banging all day, but you're the only one who's gonna get fucked.
- 100,000.
- No.
- 250.
- How about 10 million? - Don't be absurd.
- You think I'm being absurd? I think that you're whoring yourself out to a witch of a woman who is trying to get you to slander a good family man's name.
$1 million not to sue.
Ari, I cannot tell you how good it makes me feel to watch you squirm.
But you can rest easy, 'cause I've already told Amanda that I'm not gonna sue you.
So keep your money.
- You're not? - No.
I will make my money because I'm smart and I'm talented, not because you're repugnant.
I think you're doing the right thing, because no one needs to hear about our past.
No, that's where you're wrong.
Everyone needs to hear.
I want the women of the world to know how you treat them.
What does that mean? Check "Deadline Hollywood.
" I'm sure the story should be posted sometime soon, unless you can buy them off.
You sent tapes of me to "Deadline Hollywood"? Is that even legal? Sue me.
I thought you wanted to conserve your product.
- I want to relax.
- You freaking about tonight? I'm not freaking, I'm just on edge a little.
Let me tell you, shoving that poison down your throat is not the remedy.
Poison? This is 100% pure agave.
The only remedy for you is storming the hairless beaches.
You're gonna be fine, Turtle.
I don't normally have performance issues.
Yeah, you perform as often as Led Zeppelin.
You should probably take a cab.
Or I can drive you.
You should take a cab.
I like you two as my parents.
- Hey, Vin, where's the can? - To the left.
Yo, Turtle, you want a Cialis? No.
Hi, I need a cab for 3750 Longo.
Johnny, why do you carry around Cialis? In case I really got to bury one.
You should use Kaboom.
- You get a bigger bang.
- Good tip.
E, to what do we owe this pleasure? Turtle posted a video of you and Sasha on Twitter.
I just got reamed out by Shauna.
That was unintentional.
I edited smaller parts.
- I accidentally uploaded the whole thing.
- I thought it was cute.
A movie star telling guys to fuck like him and girls to fuck like a porn star isn't cute, Vince.
- I said that? - Yes.
You did.
I'm sure the way I said it was very charming.
Turtle, what happened? I thought the tequila company - was gonna be on the down low.
- It only went out to my Twitter followers.
- You have a million and a half followers.
- I do? Yeah, now TMZ, Perez Hilton and Just Jared all want to know if Sasha's your girlfriend.
Well, tell them she is.
I thought we were just really good friends.
Look, Vince, you just got the biggest offer of your career today, all right? - I just want to make sure you're focused.
- I'm focused.
- I'm focused.
Aren't I focused? - Seems focused to me.
You see? So how was the offer? Was it good? Yeah, it's great.
Ari's looking it over right now.
All right.
Well, things are happening.
No kidding.
Check out this BBM I got today.
E, I've tried you several times at the office.
I would love it if you could see yourself giving me five minutes of your time.
- Technology is amazing.
- What's amazing is that somebody gave this clown my BBM address.
Hey, Suit.
Long time.
Do you want Jerry Jones? And you still haven't called back Jeff Katzenberg or Mike Meldman or Tracy Morgan.
I don't want to talk to anybody.
Was I not clear? Nobody! I don't care if Justin Bieber calls and wants me to negotiate the rights to his virginity.
I don't want to talk to him.
Nobody! Uh, your wife is here.
- Hello, Mrs.
Ari doesn't wish to sp.
- Hello.
- Get the fuck out of the way.
- Oh, I'm sorry.
You shouldn't talk to your assistants like that.
- I know, I'm sorry.
- What are you doing here? I told you I was coming by with swatches so that we could redo your office.
- Oh.
- You forgot.
- No, l.
- Okay, what do you think of this one? - Like it.
- You didn't even look.
No no, I glanced.
Baby, I got quick eyeballs.
You know that.
And I trust your taste.
You have amazing taste.
And I love that.
- I'd like you to be involved.
- Why? It would give us something that we could do together.
Something we could do.
we do everything together.
- No, not anymore we don't.
- What do you mean? - Since the merger.
- What since the merger? - I don't feel good.
- Why? Because you're never home.
Now with this NFL thing.
- That may not happen.
- Why not? - It may not happen.
- Why not? What's happening? Nothing.
I feel like you've been keeping a lot of secrets lately.
Honey, no.
Listen, let's go to an early dinner, just the two of us.
We'll talk about everything.
All right? I'm sorry, Ari.
Dana Gordon's on the line.
Says it's urgent about Vince.
I'll call you in an hour, take you to Madeo.
- Just you and me, okay? - Okay.
Put her through.
Dana, is this really important? If Vince is really gonna carry this studio's next franchise, I'd say it is.
Does that feel good? Amazing.
- I told you I could do this.
- Yeah you can.
- You're incredible.
- Shh.
Sorry if I caused you any stress.
It's okay.
I just thought it was your first time.
First time what? You know, having sex.
Are you serious? - It's okay if it was.
- I'm 30.
I'm just saying.
You really think I'm some ugly loser, huh? - I didn't say that.
- No, but the first time I tried to kiss you you looked at me like I was a venereal disease.
I'm cute.
You are, Turtle, and I didn't see it at first.
- But I see it now.
- Good.
But something was up last night.
- Just let it go.
- Was it me? No no, are you crazy? - Just tell me what it was.
- I'm immature.
What do you mean? I've never been with a girl before who was totally shaved down there.
- It freaked me out.
- Wow.
- Yeah.
- You are immature.
I know.
I had dreams all night about playing Pac-Man.
- Pac-Man? - You know, Pac-Man.
Oh my God.
Is that why you shaved too? Yeah, why? You don't like it? No, I don't like it.
Guys are supposed to trim, not go totally bald.
Thanks, Drama.
So did I totally just fuck this up again? No, it'll grow back.
I really appreciate you taking the time to meet with me.
I didn't have much choice, Billy.
We all have choices and I've made some bad ones.
What can I do for you, Billy? I need you to help guide me out of the toilet like you did Vince.
Why would you want me? Because, man, you were the first guy to believe in me.
You found my first script, you got me Vince, you got us the money.
And as much as I was hard on you, I always knew you were the guy with the good eye.
- We can't work together, Billy.
- Why not? Because there's too much baggage and past.
- Pretend we've never met.
- How could I do that? Well, essentially we haven't.
I don't drink anymore.
- I don't do drugs.
I don't curse.
- You don't curse? No, I've spent the last three years becoming an ordained minister in Santa Fe.
Got myself right and I want to work.
You want Vince? I want you to help me.
I'll do anything.
commercials, TV, anything.
I've changed.
Still got that Pablo Escobar tattoo on your back? No, I had it scraped off with a Bowie knife in a ritual smokehouse ceremony.
No, it's still there.
Some things haven't changed.
- But I've got a family now.
- Oh, you have a kid? - I've got four.
- Four? Set of Irish twins, set of actual twins and another one on the way.
I thought we could live on love, but tiny kids can't eat love.
Look, Billy, I'm gonna have to think about this.
You know, Drama was telling me about this network deal that he's got.
Yeah, if you have any ideas, don't be afraid to shoot them my way.
Actually, I was already thinking like maybe he's not having any luck because he's too ugly to star in his own show.
- Yeah, you've changed, Billy.
- Come on, don't be mad.
I'm serious.
Look, he doesn't have the face for the screen but he's got the voice.
- So what, you think he should do radio? - No, I was thinking a cartoon.
- Cartoon? - Yeah, like "The Simpsons" but angrier.
E, Ari's here and he's being a douche.
You hear that voice? How distinct and angry it is? Were you talking about me? - What's Ari want, Drama? - He wants to talk to you.
- I got a lot of ideas.
- Sit tight, Billy.
Jesus, Billy, you're back and apparently working at the Gap.
- Hey, Ari.
- He needs representation, Ari.
So does Vince.
Yes, he does.
Did you decide to start doing your job again? I close my eyes for one minute and he's dating porn stars - and starting a tequila company? - Look, Ari.
You look.
I need to talk to him.
My wife's in the car.
She's ready to shoot me so I've got to talk fast.
- I already spoke to Shauna.
- Well, I talked to Dana and the director and they're freaking out.
How could you let this guy show up drunk and with a porn star to a meeting? He took a Vicodin, Ari.
And I didn't let him.
- How is he doing now? - He's fine.
The studio wants to sit down with him to make sure that he is.
Look, is this thing real, the relationship with the porn star? - What? No.
- You sure? Ari, Vince is fine.
- Where is he? I want to talk to him.
- He's out by the pool.
- Oh, hey, guys.
- Jesus.
Vince, wake up.
You have more visitors.
- Wake up.
- Yeah, he looks fine.