Etheria (2020) s01e05 Episode Script
The Jelly Wrestler
1
(ominous music)
(upbeat music)
(billard balls thudding)
(bottled drink fizzes)
- Cheers, Eileen
(girls giggling)
- Yeah, what can I get you?
- Two of those please.
That'd be great.
- And the
jelly is flying everywhere.
(audience cheering)
Eileen has Melinda down, but oh.
(jelly squishes)
(audience cheering)
(girls giggling)
- Funny.
- I know.
- Brilliant.
Thank you very much.
- Okay.
- Hey, hey. (laughing)
- Hey.
- Hi, how are you?
- If you need your alcohol
dressed up like kid's party food,
you're probably too young to drink it.
(Eileen and Man laugh)
I don't know what you know ♪
What?
(paper rustling)
- What's wrong?
- It's this roster.
I don't seem to have any shifts next week.
- Oh, wow.
This is so weird for me,
but Veronica gave me all of your shifts.
- But I've never worked anywhere else.
- She said something about wanting
to attract a younger crowd.
I showed her some of
my ideas for the place.
- What, like this?
(girls giggling)
- Yeah awesome, hey.
And it gave me another great idea.
We're gonna have a jelly wrestling
competition next weekend.
It's gonna be freaking hilarious.
- Come with me.
(mellow guitar music)
(water gurgling)
(Amy chuckles)
This all used to be in the main bar.
- Wow, maybe you could teach me?
I'm supposed to be in it,
but I've no idea what I am doing.
Perhaps I could talk to Veronica for you.
You know, about your shifts.
(mellow guitar music)
- It's gonna be slippery.
So don't fear it.
(gel squelching)
And don't fight it.
(ball squelching)
(Amy laughs)
- So, what happened that last year?
- Well, Melinda wanted
that crown so badly.
She'd do anything.
It was the finals,
(audience cheering)
just me and her.
She went too far.
There's no real rules in jelly wrestling,
but you never take off
another woman's pants.
(ball squelching)
It sort of all fell apart after that.
I never really got a chance
to win back my crown.
(upbeat pop music)
(gel squishing)
What is the matter with peach ♪
Now roll, roll.
(groaning)
Yeah you can show me some rage ♪
(Amy groaning)
Why don't you just take your age ♪
Yeah, you can say what you like ♪
(Eileen and Amy groaning)
If I should go I will rise ♪
I'll never fall for your lies ♪
- You should enter.
- Oh, my time's over.
I've got to move on.
- Yeah, well.
We won't be doing it
like you did in those
days, that's for sure.
It's just, you know,
for a laugh. (chuckles)
(mellow guitar music)
(door creaking)
(footsteps clicking)
(keys clanking)
(locker door creaking)
- At least you respected the game.
(sighs) I wish I could just jump in there
and wipe the smug look off your face.
But I can't, can I? (sighs)
Not since I've seen what
it could do to a woman.
(Eileen breathing deeply)
- Eileen!
(locker door clanging)
And tonight these wicked women of wobble
will be fighting it out
for the chance to become crowned
Queen of the Gelatine!
(audience cheering)
Susie Tsunami, Cha Cha
Treuse, Tonia Hard-Arse,
Betty Buttercup, Amy
Starlight and Queen of Tarts,
Bam-Bam, Annie the
Assassin and Issy Inferno.
And for our first bout we will have
Betty Buttercup and Amy Starlight.
(bell jangling)
(audience cheering)
(jelly squelching)
Jesus, I hope she doesn't win.
I've got money on her to lose.
- Hey, I just wanna ask you
what's the story with me shifts?
- Oh, don't ask me.
Amy's in charge of all that.
She reckons I'm better off out here.
(mellow guitar music)
Check it out.
I found it out the back.
Isn't it wild?
(audience cheering)
(door banging)
- Hey, this is the blokes.
(man gasps)
(glass shattering)
(bouncy music)
- All right, ladies
and gentlemen, our next.
- Is that your character?
Funny as.
- is between
- Queen of Tarts and Cha Cha Treuse.
Eileen?
Just let her go, let
her go, it's all right.
(audience cheering)
Oh, and she's gone through the legs.
And we're going for the Heimlich.
Eileen, she's doing a fabulous job.
And one, and two, and three.
Eileen has won the bout!
Eileen is the winner for this round.
Jesse, Jesse please ♪
I look in a mirror ♪
Don't look away ♪
Look in the mirror ♪
I just wanna to say, to say, to say ♪
I look in a mirror ♪
Don't close your eyes ♪
Look in the mirror ♪
Stay there a while ♪
'Cause you're pretty Anna ♪
For me ♪
Look in the mirror ♪
Don't look at me ♪
Look in the mirror ♪
I just wanted to say ♪
'Cause you're pretty Anna ♪
That way ♪
Look in the mirror ♪
Don't look at me ♪
Look in the mirror ♪
I just want you to see, to see, to see ♪
Look in the mirror ♪
Don't close your eyes ♪
Look in the mirror ♪
Mirrors don't lie ♪
'Cause you're pretty Anna ♪
(audience cheering)
And now there's only two
- Eileen, Eileen,
champions of the goop left.
- Eileen, Eileen.
Eileen and Amy Starlight.
(audience cheering)
(upbeat rock music)
- Oh wow, I really wish this stuff
didn't keep happening to me but
Veronica really wants me to win.
- Come on ladies.
- She thinks I'm gonna look
better on the posters
and websites and stuff.
- You know that you got to
keep down your opponent for three seconds
to win the bout.
Let's make it clean, ladies.
Take your positions.
Are you ready?
(bell jangling)
(audience cheering)
Oh, and they're going for it.
Eileen just swats Amy
aside like a pesky insect.
Amy back on her feet getting
ready for another grapple.
But oh, down again.
Eileen's just toying with her.
Down they go but this is just
textbook stuff from Eileen.
Ohhh, ouch.
Ooohh, the elbow.
Now Eileen has Amy pinned
and Amy's in trouble.
- (laughs) Okay, they've had their show.
Now back down.
(audience cheering)
(wrapper rustling)
- Eileen, goes it alone.
She wants that crown.
She can smell it.
This could be all over
in the count of three.
One, and two, and.
(fabric ripping)
(Veronica gasps)
(audience cheering)
Sorry, Eileen.
That's a one, and two,
- Come on, Eileen!
(breathing deeply)
(girl screaming)
(hopeful music)
(jelly squelching)
(sniffing)
- This is not pretty.
(audience cheering)
(locker door clangs)
(girl chuckles)
(metal clanging)
- Fuck.
- And now a good, old-fashioned
dunking in the jelly,
which she probably deserves.
(Amy sputtering)
(ominous music)
- Eileen,
Eileen, Eileen, Eileen.
- And again, and again.
- Eileen, Eileen,
Eileen, Eileen, Eileen.
(jelly squishing)
- Well, reckon that's
plenty of dunking, Eileen.
(jelly sputtering)
(audience muttering)
(heart beating)
(upbeat music)
I hear a tapping on the window outside ♪
It could be nothing ♪
But then it could be
the spirit knocking ♪
I raise a glass of blue window up wide ♪
The windows blowing around
I hear some voices talking ♪
They're telling me to
move the shutterbug play ♪
She's talking crazy hearing
voices talking crazy to him ♪
Who's supposed to be
in terror, harms way ♪
I was just going to say let's
get the paramedics to him ♪
(upbeat rock music)
Shutterbug ♪
(upbeat rock music)
Shutterbug ♪
I hear a tapping on the window outside ♪
It could be nothing but then
opportunity come flocking ♪
I raise a glass upon
the window up wide ♪
Take care of you when I
look I see a new horizon ♪
It's looking like
another shutterbug day ♪
A little hazy but feel I'm
better up there singing ♪
You better leave a
sleeping dog where he lays ♪
So you can learn to learn ♪
What you don't know
what you're missing ♪
(upbeat rock music)
Shutterbug ♪
(upbeat rock music)
Shutterbug ♪
I hear a tapping on the window outside ♪
(ominous music)
(ominous music)
(upbeat music)
(billard balls thudding)
(bottled drink fizzes)
- Cheers, Eileen
(girls giggling)
- Yeah, what can I get you?
- Two of those please.
That'd be great.
- And the
jelly is flying everywhere.
(audience cheering)
Eileen has Melinda down, but oh.
(jelly squishes)
(audience cheering)
(girls giggling)
- Funny.
- I know.
- Brilliant.
Thank you very much.
- Okay.
- Hey, hey. (laughing)
- Hey.
- Hi, how are you?
- If you need your alcohol
dressed up like kid's party food,
you're probably too young to drink it.
(Eileen and Man laugh)
I don't know what you know ♪
What?
(paper rustling)
- What's wrong?
- It's this roster.
I don't seem to have any shifts next week.
- Oh, wow.
This is so weird for me,
but Veronica gave me all of your shifts.
- But I've never worked anywhere else.
- She said something about wanting
to attract a younger crowd.
I showed her some of
my ideas for the place.
- What, like this?
(girls giggling)
- Yeah awesome, hey.
And it gave me another great idea.
We're gonna have a jelly wrestling
competition next weekend.
It's gonna be freaking hilarious.
- Come with me.
(mellow guitar music)
(water gurgling)
(Amy chuckles)
This all used to be in the main bar.
- Wow, maybe you could teach me?
I'm supposed to be in it,
but I've no idea what I am doing.
Perhaps I could talk to Veronica for you.
You know, about your shifts.
(mellow guitar music)
- It's gonna be slippery.
So don't fear it.
(gel squelching)
And don't fight it.
(ball squelching)
(Amy laughs)
- So, what happened that last year?
- Well, Melinda wanted
that crown so badly.
She'd do anything.
It was the finals,
(audience cheering)
just me and her.
She went too far.
There's no real rules in jelly wrestling,
but you never take off
another woman's pants.
(ball squelching)
It sort of all fell apart after that.
I never really got a chance
to win back my crown.
(upbeat pop music)
(gel squishing)
What is the matter with peach ♪
Now roll, roll.
(groaning)
Yeah you can show me some rage ♪
(Amy groaning)
Why don't you just take your age ♪
Yeah, you can say what you like ♪
(Eileen and Amy groaning)
If I should go I will rise ♪
I'll never fall for your lies ♪
- You should enter.
- Oh, my time's over.
I've got to move on.
- Yeah, well.
We won't be doing it
like you did in those
days, that's for sure.
It's just, you know,
for a laugh. (chuckles)
(mellow guitar music)
(door creaking)
(footsteps clicking)
(keys clanking)
(locker door creaking)
- At least you respected the game.
(sighs) I wish I could just jump in there
and wipe the smug look off your face.
But I can't, can I? (sighs)
Not since I've seen what
it could do to a woman.
(Eileen breathing deeply)
- Eileen!
(locker door clanging)
And tonight these wicked women of wobble
will be fighting it out
for the chance to become crowned
Queen of the Gelatine!
(audience cheering)
Susie Tsunami, Cha Cha
Treuse, Tonia Hard-Arse,
Betty Buttercup, Amy
Starlight and Queen of Tarts,
Bam-Bam, Annie the
Assassin and Issy Inferno.
And for our first bout we will have
Betty Buttercup and Amy Starlight.
(bell jangling)
(audience cheering)
(jelly squelching)
Jesus, I hope she doesn't win.
I've got money on her to lose.
- Hey, I just wanna ask you
what's the story with me shifts?
- Oh, don't ask me.
Amy's in charge of all that.
She reckons I'm better off out here.
(mellow guitar music)
Check it out.
I found it out the back.
Isn't it wild?
(audience cheering)
(door banging)
- Hey, this is the blokes.
(man gasps)
(glass shattering)
(bouncy music)
- All right, ladies
and gentlemen, our next.
- Is that your character?
Funny as.
- is between
- Queen of Tarts and Cha Cha Treuse.
Eileen?
Just let her go, let
her go, it's all right.
(audience cheering)
Oh, and she's gone through the legs.
And we're going for the Heimlich.
Eileen, she's doing a fabulous job.
And one, and two, and three.
Eileen has won the bout!
Eileen is the winner for this round.
Jesse, Jesse please ♪
I look in a mirror ♪
Don't look away ♪
Look in the mirror ♪
I just wanna to say, to say, to say ♪
I look in a mirror ♪
Don't close your eyes ♪
Look in the mirror ♪
Stay there a while ♪
'Cause you're pretty Anna ♪
For me ♪
Look in the mirror ♪
Don't look at me ♪
Look in the mirror ♪
I just wanted to say ♪
'Cause you're pretty Anna ♪
That way ♪
Look in the mirror ♪
Don't look at me ♪
Look in the mirror ♪
I just want you to see, to see, to see ♪
Look in the mirror ♪
Don't close your eyes ♪
Look in the mirror ♪
Mirrors don't lie ♪
'Cause you're pretty Anna ♪
(audience cheering)
And now there's only two
- Eileen, Eileen,
champions of the goop left.
- Eileen, Eileen.
Eileen and Amy Starlight.
(audience cheering)
(upbeat rock music)
- Oh wow, I really wish this stuff
didn't keep happening to me but
Veronica really wants me to win.
- Come on ladies.
- She thinks I'm gonna look
better on the posters
and websites and stuff.
- You know that you got to
keep down your opponent for three seconds
to win the bout.
Let's make it clean, ladies.
Take your positions.
Are you ready?
(bell jangling)
(audience cheering)
Oh, and they're going for it.
Eileen just swats Amy
aside like a pesky insect.
Amy back on her feet getting
ready for another grapple.
But oh, down again.
Eileen's just toying with her.
Down they go but this is just
textbook stuff from Eileen.
Ohhh, ouch.
Ooohh, the elbow.
Now Eileen has Amy pinned
and Amy's in trouble.
- (laughs) Okay, they've had their show.
Now back down.
(audience cheering)
(wrapper rustling)
- Eileen, goes it alone.
She wants that crown.
She can smell it.
This could be all over
in the count of three.
One, and two, and.
(fabric ripping)
(Veronica gasps)
(audience cheering)
Sorry, Eileen.
That's a one, and two,
- Come on, Eileen!
(breathing deeply)
(girl screaming)
(hopeful music)
(jelly squelching)
(sniffing)
- This is not pretty.
(audience cheering)
(locker door clangs)
(girl chuckles)
(metal clanging)
- Fuck.
- And now a good, old-fashioned
dunking in the jelly,
which she probably deserves.
(Amy sputtering)
(ominous music)
- Eileen,
Eileen, Eileen, Eileen.
- And again, and again.
- Eileen, Eileen,
Eileen, Eileen, Eileen.
(jelly squishing)
- Well, reckon that's
plenty of dunking, Eileen.
(jelly sputtering)
(audience muttering)
(heart beating)
(upbeat music)
I hear a tapping on the window outside ♪
It could be nothing ♪
But then it could be
the spirit knocking ♪
I raise a glass of blue window up wide ♪
The windows blowing around
I hear some voices talking ♪
They're telling me to
move the shutterbug play ♪
She's talking crazy hearing
voices talking crazy to him ♪
Who's supposed to be
in terror, harms way ♪
I was just going to say let's
get the paramedics to him ♪
(upbeat rock music)
Shutterbug ♪
(upbeat rock music)
Shutterbug ♪
I hear a tapping on the window outside ♪
It could be nothing but then
opportunity come flocking ♪
I raise a glass upon
the window up wide ♪
Take care of you when I
look I see a new horizon ♪
It's looking like
another shutterbug day ♪
A little hazy but feel I'm
better up there singing ♪
You better leave a
sleeping dog where he lays ♪
So you can learn to learn ♪
What you don't know
what you're missing ♪
(upbeat rock music)
Shutterbug ♪
(upbeat rock music)
Shutterbug ♪
I hear a tapping on the window outside ♪
(ominous music)