Everwood s04e13 Episode Script

An Ounce of Prevention

ANNOUNCER: Previously on Everwood: I'd like to say how impressed I am with your application.
It's wonderful when a couple like you decides to adopt.
We have given it a lot of thought.
We're very excited.
-Going somewhere? -Thought we'd hit up Ali's party.
-Bright, I can't go to a party.
-Why not? -Look at me.
-Why? You look like you always do.
I get that you relate to the kid, but I'm worried.
Do I really need to explain? Social leper, piano prodigy, issues with his dad.
I just don't understand what this kid's problems have to do with your life.
[BRlGHT HUMMlNG] -It's your discard.
-I'm thinking.
Do you have to think with your fingers? [GROANS] Such a jacks hoard.
It's the third one I've picked up.
Learn the game, buddy.
-Sorry, is the music too loud? -No, I'm up.
I'm late.
Do not lay down a seven, whatever you do.
I'm all over the sevens, chica.
Anybody seen my sheet music? I got two new students starting today.
I'd check the coffee table.
It might be under my sandwich.
If so, sorry.
Looking for hair gel.
Gooey, lots of hold.
-I got some in my crawl space.
-Excellent, thank you.
BRlGHT: I told you not to play the seven.
HANNAH: That's exactly why I played it.
Reid, where are you? I've been honking for like 10 minutes.
RElD: Give me one sec.
-I'm having some, uh, hair issues.
-Good thing we didn't date for real.
I cannot be with a man who spends more time on his hair than I do.
Hannah, what are you doing here? Don't you have school? No, Teachers' Day.
Students don't have to go, so Bright's taking the day off to hang out.
That's the great part about college.
No one to mark your absence, no readmit slips.
There is no way you're gonna graduate in less than seven years.
Amy, what time does your last class finish? We could all do something.
Ephram, what are you up to? We could make pizzas again.
That was fun.
Uh, sorry, I gotta pick up Kyle.
Sorry, I can't, I have three lectures, two sections, and lunch with Kim and Beth.
And Bill O'Reilly's speaking at A&M.
There's gonna be a demonstration.
-What kind of demonstration? -To protest.
-He's a total warmonger.
-I think I'll pass.
Reid, do you want cute hair or do you wanna save lives? -Commit to a hat.
-Ugh! It's just this front part is killing me.
You win.
Okay, let's go, let's go.
If you have a chance, we're out of milk.
If you could pick some up, that'd be great.
So everyone seems really busy.
So? We're busy.
No, we're not, this is not busy.
This is the art of time wasting.
Well, at least you admit that it's an art.
What's wrong with you? Nothing.
Uh, it's your go.
There's a complete medical history in Section 1.
Section 2 is the report from the genetics counselor and Section 3 is the standard consent form.
I just turned 18, so I signed it myself.
Here, I have my own copy.
Very impressive.
I don't know many high-school seniors who consider a blood test a birthday present.
Most kids want a car.
I want peace of mind.
Call me crazy.
I'm gonna be very honest with you, Ellie.
Screening for the breast-cancer gene is a very big deal for any patient much less someone your age.
There are a lot of questions to ask yourself-- I know, and I've talked with lots of people, studied all the risks and benefits.
-I'm confident in my decision.
So I guess my next question is why.
My mother died from it when I was 10.
Then my sister, Ruth, was diagnosed three years ago.
-I'm sorry.
-She was only 28 when she got it.
She's in remission now, thank God.
Double mastectomy and chemo.
-There's also a history on my father's side-- -Okay, so I understand the why now.
Have you talked about this with your father? My dad kind of hasn't been the same since my mother died.
Ruthie's basically the one who raised me.
She's so amazing, like the definition of a survivor.
If I wind up having to go through what she did I hope I do it with the same amount of grace and strength.
-And she knows you're here today? -Mm-hm.
We talked about it.
Mitchell was supposed to come.
Practice went over.
-Mitchell? -My boyfriend.
We've been together since sophomore year, and he is so supportive.
-We're both going to UNC next year.
Congratulations, that's a great school.
I know.
It's funny, applying for scholarships is really what cemented things for me.
It's all about organization and planning, and it made me realize how unprepared my mother and sister were for cancer.
I don't want that to happen to me.
If I have the gene, I wanna know now so I can be ready.
Mitchell says the best defense is a good offense.
So in there? Yep, I'll go get my nurse.
[BELL RlNGlNG] I wanted to ask you yesterday, but I didn't see you at lunch, so.
Anyway, think about it, okay? I gotta go.
-Don't look.
-She just asking you to a dance? Don't talk.
Not bad.
Hair-twirling thing was a little OCD, but, uh, she was pretty cute.
-Who was she? -Kellie Morgan.
Drama club, girls' lacrosse, and locker stalker.
And she was asking you? Nice.
-Doesn't matter.
I didn't say yes.
-Why not? -Because dances are lame.
-Not if you go with somebody like that.
-She seemed into you.
-So? I'm not into her, and I don't wanna go.
-It's a waste of time.
-Yeah, you're right.
Dances were created to make people like you and me miserable.
Plus, they'll probably have some lame DJ.
And I'll end up standing around, talking to people I hate anyway.
I can't wait to be done with school and never deal with another prom.
Just so you know, New Year's Eve is pretty much prom for adults.
-lt never really goes away.
You should never have to go to any of that crap that requires a date.
Only reason you should go is if there's somebody you're dying to ask.
I'm dying for you to drop it.
-Are you bored? -No.
No, I just didn't get much sleep last night.
Reid was up till 3 in the morning doing crunches.
You know what last week was? Our seven-month anniversary.
Oh, crap, was I supposed to get you something? No, no, I'm thinking more about the number.
Seven, as in the seven-year itch.
No, I have no idea what you're talking about.
Sounds like a long time to be scratching.
I think we might be in a rut.
Like we've reached this plateau where we've been through all the bumps in our relationship and now the only thing left to do is break up or get married.
Oh, dude.
I'm not saying I wanna break up or get married today, I'm just saying I'm worried, you know? We're sitting here doing the same thing we always do.
Well, we like playing cards.
Yeah, I know, but, okay, when's the last time we did something new and exciting? We do stuff all the time.
We go to movies, we watch TV, play cards.
I don't understand what you want me to do.
Not like I can afford to buy a jet and fly us to Paris.
Okay, well, what's something new that doesn't cost millions of dollars? Deer hunting.
Okay, I'll tell you what.
I'm gonna try and come up with something that beats that, okay? Heh.
Good luck.
Think I'll skip dinner.
Hey, just, uh, brushing up on some basic lab procedure.
And behold: onion DNA.
-I'd ask why, but I really don't care.
-Oh, blinking light is you, dude.
KYLE [ON MACHlNE]: This is Kyle.
I need to move my next lesson up a half-hour.
-Wordy fella.
-Yeah, he's such a funny kid, you know? He's scared of his own shadow but you get the feeling if you said the wrong thing, he'd gut you.
-Hey, you think he'll get into Juilliard? -I don't know.
If he doesn't, it won't be for lack of trying.
All he does is practice.
-That's how you were, right? -I didn't have any other options.
-I was a dork by necessity.
-I thought that was true of all dorks.
I thought so too, but Kyle could have a life.
Today I saw a girl ask him out to a dance.
He shot her down on the spot.
-Was she cute? -Yeah, she was.
I would've killed to have a girl like that into me when I was a freshman.
-Guess he's not into girls yet.
-No, impossible, he's 15.
His hormones are raging out of control now.
Yeah, that's what I thought as well.
But the whole time I've known him, he's not once brought up a crush or a girl or anything like that.
And it's not like he doesn't open up about other stuff.
-Maybe he doesn't crush on girls.
-You think he's gay? -Possible.
-No, it's not possible.
He's not gay.
He's too young to be gay.
A lot of people believe that human sexuality is coded into our DNA.
A lot of research to back it up.
Kids are figuring themselves out a lot younger these days.
Trust me when I say he's never even kissed a girl and he'd have to try it to know he didn't like it.
Why? Did you have to kiss a guy to figure out you were straight? -Just a thought, could be wrong.
-Yeah, you are.
And, you know, I'm not some kind of homophobe, okay? -When you were gay, no big deal.
-Whoa, hey, when was I gay? Kyle, he's young, he's socially inept and doesn't know how to handle himself in the dating scene yet.
I'm the idiot telling him not to worry.
I should be helping.
He doesn't have anybody.
Soon people like you are gonna be spreading rumors saying that he's gay just because he's shy.
You know, um, I was just spinning theories.
Could be wrong.
You know him a lot better than I do, so.
Yeah, you're right, I do.
I'm sorry.
I hate this part of the job.
You don't have to apologize.
I wanted to know.
-Can you make me a copy of this? -We don't have to do that now.
It's important to keep good records, Ruth.
-I'd like to be organized.
-Let's break this down, okay? All that means is that you have a greater chance of getting sick, not that you will.
I know the numbers.
I have a 40- to 85-percent chance of an occurrence before I'm 40, plus I have to worry about ovarian cancer.
I shouldn't have let you do this.
-You should never have taken the test.
I just don't want you to have to go through what I did.
I don't want to either.
But that's why I did this.
I'm sure that there's a lot we can do now that we know.
-Right, Dr.
Brown? -Well, right now it's all about prevention.
The right diet, exercise, and you should learn to do a self-exam once a month at home, if you don't already.
What about tamoxifen? I thought that was supposed to help.
Well, it can, but they'd never prescribe it for somebody your age.
It's much too toxic.
So that's it? It seems like a lot of waiting around for something bad to happen.
Are you sure there's nothing else I can do? I'm a proactive person.
It's how I cope.
There is one other option, although it's extremely aggressive.
A preventive mastectomy could lower your chances of a tumor to about 10 percent.
I'm sorry? The concept is that by removing the breasts and the underlying tissue there's nowhere for the cancer to grow.
-Obviously, it's very radical, so I would-- -Ten percent? That seems good.
-How soon can I do it? -Whoa, whoa, whoa.
He just said this was radical.
I want aggressive.
I don't need these, especially if they're gonna kill me.
-We don't know for certain that-- -Exactly.
We have been here for all of 10 minutes, and you're talking about a mastectomy? I'm not gonna let you do that.
Thank you, Dr.
I'm the patient here.
It's my body and my decision, and I have a right to at least hear about it.
Well, I don't have to hear about it.
How soon can I meet with an oncologist? HARRY: Thank God for Blue Cross.
At this rate, it's entirely possible that Flo Reilly's arthritis could put Amy through college.
Oh, before I forget, I got a call from a woman named Madeline Berry.
Said you put me as a reference for the adoption process.
Already called you, has she? Good sign, very good sign.
Look at you, you're just bursting with baby glee, aren't you? Ellie Newhoff.
New patient? You can close that one.
She came in for a blood test.
Labs are back.
Positive for the breast-cancer mutation.
-That's a shame.
How's she doing? -She's a fighter.
She's thinking about having a preventive mastectomy.
At 18? That seems rather extreme.
Most girls her age are thinking about movie-star breakups and senior prom not elective surgery.
Well, she's not like most girls.
She's incredibly mature and smart.
Technically, she's an adult, and she wants it.
So advise her against it.
You're talking about removing parts of her.
She's not even sick.
She probably will be.
This could save her from breast cancer.
Or she could remain perfectly healthy and be permanently scarred in the process.
I just gave the girl all of her options.
I am not talking her in or out of anything.
-That's not what I do.
-Since when? No, honestly.
One minute you're traipsing across town in the snow convincing an 80-year-old man to have a brain operation.
Now you've got an 18-year-old girl who is making a rash decision based on fear.
You won't advise her against it? Makes no sense.
Next patient.
[PLAYlNG JAZZ ON PlANO] Do I have a zit on the back of my neck? What's with the staring? I think I gave you bad advice the other day.
I think you should go to that dance.
What? Why? These things always turn out better than you think.
If you don't go, you're gonna build it up as something awful, which it isn't.
I'm not afraid of dancing, I reject it.
There's a difference.
Okay, well, are you sure you're rejecting it, or you're not afraid of just it rejecting you? Okay, bad analogy.
I went to a couple of these when I was going to County.
They were fun.
You'd have a good time.
Just because you had a good time, doesn't mean I will.
-Why do you care about this? -Because.
Because I think this could be a life-changing experience for you.
I think if you go with, you know, Kellie whatever-her-name-is then you got a reputation, your stock goes way up your life could be a whole lot easier.
Or they think I'm even cooler for turning her down.
Hey, why don't you wanna go? Is there something you're not telling me? I just hate all that hip-hop crap.
That's all they ever play at these things.
Okay, so, uh, don't dance.
Most people don't.
Just go and smoke cloves and stand in the corner.
-Talk to Kellie.
-My mom's working that night.
-She's not gonna be able to take us.
-I'll take you.
I'll pick you up, I'll drop you off.
Done, done.
And Kellie's probably going with someone else by now.
Well, there's only one way to find out.
Well, this is certainly daunting.
I've come up with a system to make this thing easier.
The green is international.
They get a copy of everything.
Good Lord, this will cost a fortune in express mail.
We can hand-deliver it to Kenya ourselves for less.
Focus, dear.
A few hours of paperwork is better than a -For you, maybe.
Complete medical histories, one for each of us.
-And seeing as you have the records-- -I will handle the medical information.
You have done more than your share.
I am ready to dive in.
Oh, I know this isn't much fun.
But just think of how you're going to feel when you've got that precious little girl in your arms.
No, it's not that.
I think I'm as excited about the prospect of our new child as you are.
It's just I can't stop thinking about that patient of Andy's and I'm not sure why.
Because it's very sad.
I must say, I admire her decision.
She's obviously a very brave girl.
You agree with what she's doing? Well, put yourself in her shoes, Harold.
She's already lost her mother.
She watched her sister go through all those surgeries and chemo.
Now she's gonna sit around waiting for the same thing to happen to her? Well, it's not as if it's preordained.
Because there are odds against her, there are also odds in her favor.
Yeah, but it's funny how the odds in your favor are never the ones that come to mind when you're the potential statistic.
Listen, I've gotta get to the store.
Do you want anything? No, thank you.
-Okay, I'll be back shortly.
"Any history of cancer or heart disease?" No.
I'm really glad you made mahi-mahi.
It was a delicious surprise in the middle of winter.
Maybe we can have dessert inside though? I'm freezing my coconuts off out here.
We can't go inside.
Inside is where the rut lives.
Well, outside is where hypothermia lives.
I think I'd look stupid walking around your apartment with a pineapple on my head.
Really? I'd think you'd feel stupid having a pineapple on your head no matter where you were.
-Oh, I'm kidding.
-Are you not cold? -No, I'm actually warm.
If you're cold, why don't you come over here and stand by me at the fire? Your heart is beating incredibly fast.
I have to take my coat off, this hibachi's giving off way too much heat.
Whoa, hey, you look a little flushed.
-Or actually, make that splotchy.
-Splotchy? What? You seriously got, like, freaky red splotches all over you.
-Wait-- Are they on my face? -Yeah.
I was feeling gross like 1 0 minutes ago, but we were having so much fun-- Wouldn't wanna tear us away from this rager.
-Now I'm feeling a little dizzy.
Whoa, hey.
-You want me to call my dad? -No, no, no.
No, it's okay.
I just have to sit down, and then I'll-- You know what? I'm gonna go ahead and call this one.
You look like you're about to explode all over the hibachi there.
-Let's go inside, come on.
-Come on, we're-- -We do not have to go inside right now.
Wait, am I hallucinating or are you red too? -Really? -Yes.
Oh, awesome.
I'm definitely calling my dad.
Let's go.
I hope you're proud of yourself.
-I'm sorry? -Ellie's boyfriend broke up with her.
She scheduled surgery, he tried to talk her out of it they got into a fight, and she's been crying all day.
It was a preliminary discussion, and as a doctor it's my obligation to-- I don't give a crap about your obligation.
Doctors never think about the real effects of what they tell their patients.
They just swoop in, deliver their words of wisdom and leave us to deal with the fallout.
You know what? You're right.
I should never have told Ellie about the procedure without advising her against it.
Wait, you don't think she should have the operation? No, of course I don't.
Then why did you even bring it up in the first place? The last time a young woman came to me for help I screwed up by trying to control the situation.
I withheld information and tried to manipulate the outcome to get what I wanted.
So this time, I tried to do just the opposite.
I put all the cards on the table and gave your sister as much information as I could without inserting myself in the process.
But aren't you paid to insert yourself in the process? Yeah, but to be honest, I didn't think I was qualified.
And your sister seemed so sure of herself.
She came at me with all these files and statistics.
You know, she is a little intense.
Welcome to my life.
I've been scared of her since she was in the seventh grade.
Really? I think she idolizes you.
You should've heard how she went on about you.
The great cancer survivor, I know.
She looks at my scars and sees them as a badge of honor.
I just see them as the nightmare I wake up with every day.
I thought about getting implants last year but I knew Ellie thought it would be a betrayal to the cause.
Luckily, I couldn't afford them, so I didn't have to disappoint her with my treason.
Wow, it must be hard.
She holds you on a pretty high pedestal.
I just don't want her to have my life.
I don't want her to know how much it hurts when you roll over in bed or how you hate summer because of the bathing suits.
How men look at you differently.
I want her to be a kid just a little while longer to go to college, maybe get married someday.
To be able to nurse her baby if she has one.
But you can't stop cancer, can you? No.
Not any more than you can stop Ellie.
[CHUCKLES] Your heart rate does appear elevated.
But the splotches aren't raised.
They may not be hives.
-They itch a lot.
-Do you want powder? It's not a diaper rash, Bright.
One hundred one.
I must admit, I'm at something of a loss here.
Of course, three college-aged boys in close quarters.
Could be any number of environmental irritants in here.
In fact, this entire apartment is a biohazard.
Uh, how long ago did you eat? An hour, but it can't be my cooking.
I am a very good cook.
Well, gee, maybe you're not supposed to prepare mahi-mahi in the winter on the roof, I don't know.
Sorry I was trying to save our relationship.
By getting us both sick.
There's a new plateau: dying.
We can either break up, get married, or die.
What do you think? I think you should shut your pie-hole, or I'm gonna come over and shut it for you.
-Bring it on, splotchy.
-You don't give a hoot what we do.
You could go on forever with me doing all the work and you playing cards.
Oh, do you mean drag on? Drag on with me being normal and you creating problems -Whatever.
-that don't exist because you talk? You talk and talk and talk and yammer.
Yammer, yammer.
This is productive.
So glad we're having this conversation.
I'm really glad you're such a mature human being right now.
Shh! Hey.
Flushing, palpitations, hives-- Ooh, they are hives.
-Any burning sensation in the mouth? -Yes.
-Yes? Yes? -Yes.
-Yes, how about cramping? -Definitely.
You have an extremely rare food-borne illness called scombroid.
It is caused by bacteria that grow in the rotted dark-meat flesh of improperly stored fish.
Yes, yes, yes.
That would be the short-term nausea.
You can also expect diarrhea, sweetheart.
I've never come across anything like this.
Quite thrilling, actually.
-Reminds me of my ER rotation.
The immediacy, the improvisation.
It should resolve in eight to 12 hours, thanks to my timely diagnosis.
-I'm gonna feel like this all night? -Yes, I'm afraid so.
We should probably call Nina.
Hannah's not going anywhere for a good while.
I wonder if JAMA would find this interesting.
Perhaps a few photographs.
Hold that.
Look ill.
It appears my work here is done.
To the pharmacy, Batman.
It's about time.
I called you an hour ago.
I was at a movie.
I'm not supposed to pick you up until 1 1.
-What happened? Where's Kellie? -lnside.
Let's go.
Wait, you can't leave a dance without the girl that you brought.
Don't worry, she has 10 different ways to get home.
All of her obnoxious friends are here.
Just come on.
-What happened? -Then fine, I'll walk.
No, get back here.
Just tell me what happened.
I told you I didn't wanna come.
It was worse than I thought, not better.
What? Why, did she ditch you? Was she mean to you? No, she got all drunk and wouldn't stop grabbing at me.
And then all her friends started laughing.
It can be hard being the sober person at the party-- You don't understand anything.
Don't talk to me like you get me, because you don't get me.
Why? Just tell me, what--? -No.
-What don't I get? Look, I just wanna go home.
Please just take me home.
You okay? I came as fast as I could.
-Yeah, no, I'm fine, I just-- Sorry, I didn't mean to drag you away from your friends.
No, that's okay.
What happened? You look awful.
That's because I am awful.
I'm an awful person on the inside.
You're not awful on the inside.
What's going on? You know that kid I tutor? Kyle? Piano? I think he's gay.
-He's a little young, isn't he? -That's what I first said.
He couldn't be gay, he must just be shy.
So I made him go to this dance with a girl.
Take it he didn't have fun.
More like emotionally scarred for life, thanks to me.
I'm sure you didn't force him.
Okay, so you forced him.
Why did you want him to go so badly? I don't know.
I guess I didn't want it to be true, I didn't want him to be gay so I figured by doing this, he'd be more straight.
Even as I say it, what kind of a person am l? I'm from New York.
I voted for Kerry.
No one thinks you're homophobic, Ephram.
Maybe I am.
Or maybe you just knew how hard it would be for Kyle if he was gay especially at County.
It's not the most progressive school in the world.
I mean, he has a hard enough time fitting in as it is.
If he's gay, high school's gonna be 10 times harder.
It's just harder to be different.
It always is.
No matter where the difference comes from.
You wanted to prevent him going through anything harder than he had to.
I did.
I did.
It's like there's enough that sets him apart already.
It's not fair.
Maybe it's not, but you can't change that.
You can't prevent him from experiencing heartache or pain.
He is who he is.
The more you try to turn him into something he's not-- I know, I know, I know.
-I just wish he could talk about it.
-He hasn't officially come out yet? No, not to me.
Probably not to anybody, including himself.
-I just-- I don't know what to do.
-So make it better.
Let him know that you're there for him if he ever does wanna talk.
That's a great thing about you.
-You're a good listener.
-How do I listen if he doesn't wanna talk? You'll figure it out.
You always do.
-What are you doing here? I, uh-- I spoke with Dr.
Hartman, and he agreed to waive his fee if you're still interested in that reconstructive surgery.
-How'd you manage that? -My partner's his landlord.
-Did you wanna speak to Ellie? -I would.
How you doing? My boyfriend broke up with me.
I missed a test in AP English, and probably gonna have cancer.
-So, you know, not great.
-I wanted to talk to you for a minute.
When I was giving you your options, I left out something kind of important.
-My opinion.
-You don't think I should have the surgery.
No, I don't.
-And I'll tell you why.
-No, it's okay.
I already decided I'm not gonna.
You know, you're kind of stealing my thunder here, Ellie.
You know, it's okay to be scared.
Cancer's a terrible thing.
It doesn't fight fair.
-I don't have cancer yet.
-I know you don't.
I'm upset about Mitchell.
Oh, well, maybe we should bring your sister in here.
No, look.
The fact that I'm upset over my stupid boyfriend breaking up with me over my stupid boobs is insane.
-I know this, don't get me wrong.
-Okay, good.
But the fact that this is what I have been crying about for the past two days kind of made me realize that I can't prevent crying.
And that's what I was trying to do by having the surgery.
Prevent everyone from getting hurt.
Not just me but my dad and my sister.
I wanted the worst to be over with now so we wouldn't have to deal with it later.
Well, that's the thing about pain and tragedy.
You can't control them, much less prevent them.
They just kind of come when they come.
But the good news is that happiness can be just as unpredictable.
Might even be right around the corner.
You know what is around the corner? Mitchell's car.
Do you wanna key it with me? [LAUGHS] -Hey.
-Good morning.
-What time is it? Nina's probably worried.
-No, no, my dad called, remember? -You couldn't make it 10 feet without-- -Oh, don't remind me.
If you're checking to see if you're nudey-rudy, you're not, don't worry.
So, what with the plague and everything yesterday I probably forgot to tell you that I am incredibly sorry.
No, don't be, I'm sure Reid has already cleaned the bathroom.
No, I'm sorry about me.
I just-- I did not even mean those things that I said.
I don't know why I got so crazy.
Just-- I just don't want you to get bored with me.
I'm sorry, I shouldn't have made you feel crazy especially since you're probably right.
You are bored with me? -No, no, I just-- -Where's the Pepto? I agree that, you know, sometimes it can get boring and I was pretending that it wasn't.
You trying to do stuff to make it better, that's the stuff I should be doing.
We're bound to get sick of each other from time to time.
I totally think that that's normal.
-It's probably why grown-ups have jobs.
-It's possible.
But last night did prove that we can, you know take it to many new levels without having to break up or get married.
I don't think scombroid counts as a level.
Well, sleeping in the same bed does.
We've never done that before.
Never know what's gonna pull you out of a rut.
If you go around thinking it's only gonna be breakups, weddings and babies-- -I never said babies.
-Okay, just making sure.
Should I get the cards? Maybe in a little bit.
This is kind of nice.
Oh, watch my stomach.
-Oh, sorry.
-That's all right.
Your mom said I could come up.
You skipped your lesson today.
I sent in the audition tape, so we can stop with the lessons.
We need to talk, Kyle.
No, we don't.
How do you wanna do this? You want me to say it? -You want to? -Please don't.
I know what you think I am, but I'm not.
I don't have to be if I don't wanna be, and I don't wanna be.
-I don't wanna be anything.
-Okay, so why don't you wanna be? For the same reasons you don't want me to be.
-Because it's awful.
-No, it's not awful, Kyle.
It's not awful.
There's absolutely nothing wrong with being -Don't.
Look, I'm sorry if-- I was an idiot if I made you feel like your feelings were bad or wrong.
You didn't.
I already felt that way.
Well, you shouldn't.
You should never feel that way.
You're an amazing person, Kyle, you just gotta realize it.
But why? Why do I have to be something if I don't wanna be? Why can't I just pretend it's not there? I mean, what if I never do anything about it? You'd be lying to yourself.
And you'd be denying yourself an entire life that you deserve.
For what? Listen to me.
The sooner you can accept who you are and be okay with it the better off you're gonna be, the lighter you're gonna feel.
You don't know that.
I'm not trying to say that I'm the same as you.
I have no idea how hard what you're dealing with must be right now.
But I've kept stuff bottled up.
I've kept secrets because I was afraid what would happen when they came out.
When they did.
It's not on the same scale by any means but I came back from Europe this summer because I was in love with Amy.
I didn't wanna tell her because I thought I could love her from afar and that would be enough, but it wasn't.
It wasn't even close.
And keeping those feelings bottled up inside just killed me.
And then you told her, and she rejected you anyway.
Exactly, and I'm that much better because of it.
-Now, it's done.
It's over.
-But it won't be like that for me.
Once I get it out there, it won't be over.
It'll just be more real, and I won't be able to unsay it.
Why would you want to? Because I don't need any more reasons to make people hate me.
Nobody hates you, Kyle.
Right now the only person that hates you is you.
It's okay.
It's all right.
-What happened to you? You look like hell.
-Well, I feel like hell.
That must have been weird, when Madison came to you.
What was it, like two years ago now? Madison? Yeah, I know, I'm all over the place.
Lot of things have been coming back.
You ever have one of those days where something happens, and you just have a flood of memories? I'm familiar with the feeling.
I understand why you did what you did.
I forgave you a long time ago, but I finally get why you didn't tell me.
You were trying to protect me from getting hurt.
But you couldn't.
I didn't understand before.
I didn't understand how you could be so scared so scared about how the truth would affect somebody else's future that you would actually do the wrong thing just to keep them safe.
And all the while, you realize that you're actually just making it worse.
You're not the one that has to apologize, Ephram.
-We don't have to do this anymore.
-Yeah, I know.
But you had to go through that, then go through it again with me and then to lose me.
But I didn't.
I'm tired.
Mind if I crash here tonight? It's the Brown house.
All Browns stay for free.