Fame (1982) s01e02 Episode Script

Passing Grade

We got a job.
Listen to this.
"Auditions for musical.
Open roles for talented, ethnic actresses.
" - Ethnic could mean Jewish.
- I'll convert.
Robert, I'm having second thoughts.
You are my choice for that role.
Look, you know what an entourage is? Sure.
It's like a ballet dance step.
I'd never say any performer doesn't have a chance, not in an audition situation.
Even when one of the people auditioning is dating the director? You got big dreams.
You want fame.
Well, fame costs and right here is where you start paying in sweat.
I don't believe it! Robert.
What are you doin' here? To tell you the truth I feel like I'm under a microscope right now.
- I think they've guessed.
- Guessed what? Honey, you're not my long-lost brother.
- Don't tell me you read that stuff.
- What do you read? Cereal box tops, manhole covers.
- Anything I can get my hands on.
- Wakka, wakka, wakka.
Didn't anyone ever tell you that reading the trades is a sign of an amateur? What are you talking about? Every actress reads the trades.
That's how you find out what's going on.
You find out what's going on by meeting people.
It's not what you know, it's who you know.
Did you ever hear of a thing called talent? If all it took was talent, I'd be on the Carson show tomorrow and Vegas the week after.
It's not what you know, it's who you know.
Right, Bruno? I don't know what you're talking about.
We're talking about show business.
I'm not into show business.
I'm a musician.
Sorry I asked.
I'm telling you, you're wasting your time with this stuff.
- Don't pay any attention to him.
- Easier said than done.
I was just offerin' a little friendly advice.
He says that reading the trades has no value.
Sure, there's value in the trades, if you're sellin' them.
People give you money for them.
But as far as information, nothing.
Oh, yeah? Shows you what you know.
- I'll make it! - Doris? If you're late, it's an extra book report.
Make it TheJoy of Sex.
You mean it's set? It's for real? They can't back out? We signed a contract this morning.
So whether they like it or not, they are stuck with moi.
This is great! My ex-boyfriend, the director.
Did you have to put that "ex" in there? Bob, look, I got a class to teach.
This really isn't the time or the place.
That's fine.
That's not why I stopped by anyway.
I stopped by to tell you there is a part in this show you would be right for and I think we ought to talk about it.
- You came by here to offer me a part? - Wait a minute.
They just hired me to direct.
They didn't make me king.
You have to audition for it, but don't worry about it because you are perfect for the part.
- Page 1 2, third column, fourth ad down.
- What? Page 1 2, third column, fourth ad.
- I don't know.
- Look, Lydia, all you- We'll talk.
We'll talk.
All right, class, off with this music.
Come to order.
Playtime is over.
Let's go to work now.
All right, let's start in second position plié.
This is the second floor.
Miss Sherwood's class is on the first floor.
When you're hot, you're hot.
Come on, extend.
More extension.
Come on, honey.
Give it to me.
Come on.
Come on, Coco.
Use your back.
Come on, honey.
Work! Work! Work! Come on! Bigger! That's it! Big! Come on! Get down and do it! You're doin' it too easy! That's better.
And hold! Watch the form, Leroy.
I am.
I'm talking about your form.
My form is perfect.
Your form is perfect when I say it is.
So what's your problem? It sounds like a terrific chance to me.
Yeah, but if I get it, I might have to quit my job here.
Well, then you'd better not audition.
Not audition? Don't be ridiculous.
- Lydia, you're not making any sense.
- I know.
I know.
You see when I'm in class and I'm working with the kids, I'm a dancer and I'm working with other dancers.
Maybe they're younger than I am, less experienced but I'm still dealing with them dancer to dancer.
- Until Robert brought- - Robert's the ex-boyfriend? - Yeah.
- The cute one in the hallway.
Until Robert brought up the possibility of me being in a show I didn't realize how much I missed it.
Performing? Well, if you audition and get it, that's a high-class problem to have.
If you audition and don't get it we'll go out to dinner, split a bottle of wine, pick up the pieces.
But if you decide not to audition then you'll never know what would've happened.
And you'll be one unhappy lady, my friend.
I audition.
- You ever hear of knocking? - I don't have time.
This is business.
- It's always business.
- Martelli, we got a job.
Listen to this.
"Auditions for musical.
Open roles for talented, ethnic actresses.
Must sing, dance and play 1 8-25.
" - Ethnic could mean Jewish.
- I'll convert.
You don't look it.
I'll wear extra makeup.
"Must provide material for vocal auditions.
" Broadway, here we come, man! You don't have to create anything original.
Just play something we have.
Coco, watch my lips.
No way.
Are you sure about that? I've never been more sure of anything in my life.
- You sure she isn't using you? - She's not using me.
Well, it's her audition, not yours.
Somebody gets a job, it's gonna be her, not you, right? - Right.
- Then what are you getting out of it? Peace and quiet.
How you getting peace and quiet? You know how dogs can hear frequencies we can't hear? How you can blow on a dog whistle and not hear anything, but a dog will respond? Well, that's the way it is with Coco- kind of.
I mean, she's unable to hear the word "no.
" There's the corner she said she'd meet us at.
- Guess who? - Hey! I got the music, and I think it's really gonna work out okay.
- I'm so excited, Bruno.
- You wanna get in the car? Hi.
Martelli, it is so sweet of you to give us a ride.
That's no big deal, honey.
Where we goin'? - We're going to 1 21 Christopher Street.
- That's just around the corner.
- I know.
- You could've met us there.
But it looks so much better to pull up in a cab, don't you think so? - Dog whistle.
- What? It's a family joke.
Don't sign anything without checkin' with me first.
Right, Pop.
- May I help you? - Yeah, I'm looking for Mr.
Vocal auditions or dance chorus? - Vocal.
- You're just under the wire, Miss- I'm Coco Hernandez, and this is Mr.
Martelli, my accompanist.
- Are you Mr.
Summers? - No.
Summers is the director, and I'm the stage manager and the way it works is you have to go through me.
So just sign in, and we'll get you in there in a few minutes.
Martelli prefers to use a synthesizer.
Do you have one that he could use? Sure.
We also have this weird thing called a piano.
Can he handle one of those? - Mr.
Martelli can handle anything.
- Anything you have will be fine.
- Thank you very much.
- Okay.
We can't let them push us around.
We gotta stay in charge.
I could've been at the dentist instead of here helping you out.
- Why would you wanna be at the dentist? - At least he gives Novocaine.
Thank you, miss.
You'd better take some armor out there.
Those people are tough.
Coco Hernandez, please.
This is Miss Coco Hernandez.
I'd like to sing a song by Mr.
Bruno Martelli entitled- Miss Hernandez? Can you just tell us a little bit about yourself, please? Like what? Your training, your past experiences where you've worked, who you've worked with, like that.
- Sure.
- Excuse me.
I have another gig uptown, and the traffic's gonna murder me if we don't get this over with right away.
Miss Hernandez, do we have your phone number? Yes.
I wrote it on the sign-in sheet.
Okay, we'll probably be calling you back.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Did you hear that? They said they'll probably be calling us.
Not, "Don't call us.
We'll call you.
" That means they'll probably be calling.
I think we really got it, man.
Hi, Coco.
- Hi, Miss Grant.
- What are you doing here? I just auditioned for the lead.
What are you doing here, Miss Grant? I'm auditioning too for the lead.
Excuse me.
How'd it go? Don't ask.
It couldn't have been that bad.
So? - You won't believe it.
- Try me.
Well, I'm called back for the dance auditions so I guess the vocal auditions went okay.
- That's wonderful! - Wait.
I didn't get to the good part yet.
The dance callback is on Friday.
Guess who one of my competitors is.
Who? - Coco.
- You're kidding.
What was she doing there? She knows the school rules.
She wasn't doing anything that half the student body around here doesn't do.
- Is this gonna be a problem for you? - I don't know.
We didn't get a chance to talk much.
I know she thinks I'm gonna blow the whistle on her.
I know it.
- Maybe you should.
- No.
Hey, you'd be doing her a favor.
You know as well as I do if she gets that part, she can't take it unless she drops out of school.
She's a year underage to do that.
Elizabeth, I think you're missing the point.
The point is, how is it gonna look if she gets the part and then you tell her she has to turn it down? The point you're missing is that Coco isn't going to get the part.
I just meant- Look, I don't know the play or anything but all sorts of things can enter into who gets a job.
All sorts of things.
Talent is one.
Experience is another.
What about age? How old is the character supposed to be? Coco is six or seven years too young for the part.
I'm six or seven years too old.
Tie! Look, there are enough problems around this school without creating ones that don't exist.
The fact is, Coco is not going to get the part.
And the other fact is, I don't know if I want it.
You auditioned.
It was impossible not to audition.
There was no way I could turn Robert down.
But you're not sure if you want to perform? There was a time when I was sure that was all I wanted.
Then there was a time when I was sure all I wanted to do was teach.
- And now- - What? Now, I'm not sure about anything.
Elizabeth, I wanna dance.
I wanna dance! I'd better get back to work before I cool off.
Look, it's right in here.
Johnny Carson is gonna be in New York for a week and Gino's is one of his favorite restaurants.
So? I get into Gino's, I get one of my jokes to Carson.
He uses it in his monologue.
That's how careers get started, man.
- Look, you know what an entourage is? - Sure.
It's like a ballet dance step.
It's a bunch of people who travel with the biggies, the stars.
- Why? - So twerps don't come up to the star in the middle of a meal and try to make the guy listen to a joke.
Besides, I thought you didn't believe in this kind of stuff.
I don't believe in the trades.
It's a gossip column.
It's different.
Like I always say, it's not what you know, it's who you know.
Okay, who do you know? My old man is a member of the Knights of St.
You know who else is a member of the Knights of St.
Anthony? I'm not exactly up on the Knights of St.
Who else is a member? The owner of Gino's Restaurant, Carson's favorite restaurant in New York.
Montgomery, I'm tellin' ya, I got my way to get my stuff toJohnny Carson.
- Must've been some audition yesterday.
- What audition? What audition.
Your audition for Mr.
That's what audition.
You know what I'm talkin' about.
- Coco and Miss Grant.
- How did you find out about that? Well, I saw your dad in front after he dropped you off.
"Hey, Mr.
Martelli, what's new?" Doesn't take much, you know? - I love him, but sometimes- - Lighten up.
Trying to keep somethin' secret around here just doesn't work.
It's like being a smuggler in a nudist camp.
- So tell me about it.
- So you can tell everyone else? We all have our roles to play.
What did Miss Grant say? We didn't stick around and talk to her.
- Well, are you going to? - What's to say? - Well, what if she reports you guys? - I don't think she'd do that.
Well, I guess you can afford to cross your fingers.
You weren't actually auditioning yourself.
You were just helping out.
If I was Coco, I'd wanna know what was comin' up, wouldn't you? How long you been standing there? Just a minute or two.
I wanted to talk to you before class.
Coco, I'm not sure what's on your mind but I can tell you that anything that goes on outside the school stays outside the school as far as I'm concerned.
You mean you won't report me? No.
Even if I get the part? Why don't we cross that bridge when we come to it? Okay.
I just thought we should talk.
I wanted you to know something.
No matter what happens, no hard feelings.
No hard feelings.
All right.
Yeah, I've heard my dad talk so much about you and how much he respects you and what you've done with your restaurant that I thought I'd take a chance and call you direct.
My dad's always talkin' about how the Knights of St.
Anthony stick together and I was wondering if maybe there was an opening in your establishment such as a busboy or something where I could get in and see how your fine establishment is run.
Yeah, I- Okay, operator.
Hold on, Mr.
Shorofsky, do you have a dime? A quarter? I swear, I'll pay you back.
I think maybe, somewhere.
Imperale, you still there? He's still there.
Imperale? Yeah, I'm back.
Don't worry about a salary.
I'll be a busboy for nothing.
That's fine with me.
Imperale, you're a prince is what you are.
All right.
I'll be by after school.
Report to the kitchen? I got it? Thanks a lot! Knights of St.
Anthony forever, right? I got the job! How about that? You got a job that doesn't pay anything.
Those jobs are not too hard to get usually.
If you're worried about your quarter, don't sweat it.
I'll pay you back out of the first paycheck I get from The Tonight Show.
From the what? The Tonight Show.
You know, Johnny Carson.
You don't know whoJohnny Carson is? I suppose he's a television person, yes? Yeah, you could say that.
I don't know television persons.
I don't own a set.
You'll be late for first class if you don't hurry.
We're being taught by a bunch of wackos.
I just wanna know one thing.
What was it like? It was an audition.
You've been to auditions before.
Yeah, sure, here.
But never in a real place, and you were.
Is it exactly the same? Is it different? Tell me about it.
The place is bigger, but the process is the same.
I bet Coco was scared to death.
Scared she wouldn't get it, or scared about what might happen if she did get it? - Probably both.
- Miss Grant too.
Turkey, she can't get in trouble if she gets the part.
Turkey, she can't keep teaching if she's got Wednesday matinees every week.
- She'd leave school, you think? - Have to.
- Wouldn't have any choice.
- Man! Look, will you people stop assuming that Miss Grant got the part? I saw Coco's audition, and she was very good.
She was very good.
But her boyfriend wasn't directin' the thing.
Her boy-What? Didn't you see the director when Coco was auditioning? No.
It was pitch black.
All we heard was a voice.
The director- the guy Miss Grant was climbing all over the other day- he's an old boyfriend of hers.
Coco's gonna be wasted when she hears that.
She's gonna be absolutely wiped out.
Who's gonna tell her? You just did.
I'm sorry, Coco.
Sorry I heard what was going on, or sorry I was made a fool of? It's not fair.
Not fair? It stinks! - I could just- - Come on.
- Go ahead.
Say it.
- No, I don't- Hey, no one can shoot you for your feelings.
Repressed anger fantasies engender guilt feelings.
- Doris, I feel so angry.
- Come on! What? Run her over with a bus? Hit her? Pull out her hair? No, I- I just wanna talk to her, that's all.
Well, then I think you should follow your instincts.
- Hi.
- Hi.
You okay? Sure.
Why wouldn't I be okay? I don't know.
You just seem like you were in a bad place or something.
It's just that I got to thinking about Coco and Miss Grant and what they're going through.
And then, I got this piece from composition class and I guess it just put me into what you said- a bad place.
It's silly, though.
Not silly.
That's what music's all about- changing moods.
Yeah, even when it's sad.
I don't know what they call it in classical terms but in contemporary music, it's just called the blues.
Go on.
Do what you were doing.
You might get bummed out too.
Never, unless there's a power failure.
I see you got the pension plan forms too.
And the sick leave forms and the dental care forms.
I hope some of these things cover terminal writer's cramp because that's what I'm gonna have by the time I finish filling them out.
It's not that bad.
It's worse.
The wounds of the world are being bound up with red tape.
I hope you feel better than you look.
What a morale builder you are.
You look exhausted.
Are you all right? Aside from being insane, I'm fine.
What makes you think you're insane? I have my own reasons.
I'm just curious as to yours.
Well, I'm teaching five classes a day I'm trying to get ready for my first dance audition in two years and instead of going home like a normal human being and sleeping till the turn of the century I got a date tonight, and I'm afraid to break it.
You get my vote.
You're crazy.
Who's your date with? Robert Summers.
Excuse me.
I didn't mean to interrupt.
Miss Grant, I really need to talk to you.
Coco, couldn't it wait until tomorrow before class? No.
Miss Sherwood, it's time for our promenade.
That's going to be some teacher-student conference back in there.
I just hope it is a conference.
I'm afraid it's a war.
I hope this isn't gonna take very long.
I'm really not up to too much talk tonight, Coco.
You won't be late for your date.
Don't worry.
It's your dime.
Remember what you said about what goes on outside of school is gonna stay outside of school? - Still applies.
- Why? Let's just say I'm one of the good guys.
Or maybe it's because you know I don't have a chance at that part and after the dance audition, it'll be all over anyway.
I'd never say any performer doesn't have a chance, not in an audition situation.
Even when one of the people auditioning is dating the director? Coco, I am tired.
And I may not be in the best of shape to respond to a question like that but it seems to me some questions don't deserve a response when the question itself is a damned insult! That's all the answer you're going to get.
All right.
And how was your day? Cheers, and the pits.
Well, look.
Don't let it get to you, because you got a big day tomorrow.
Remember? Robert, I'm having second thoughts.
- About what? - About doing the show.
- You didn't like the script, huh? - It's wonderful.
So what's the problem? I don't know.
There are a lot of complications cropping up.
- There's other things involved.
- What do you mean, other things? Other people the school, the kids, my job.
Do I wanna give that up? And if I do want to do you really have a job to offer me? Look, there's only three people up for that role.
There's you, a friend of the choreographer and some kid by the name of Fernandez, or somethin' like that.
Oh, yeah.
Then there's some chick who heads up the aerobic dance class at the producer's health studio.
But that's it.
Come on.
Now, you listen to me.
I am the director, right? You are my choice for that role.
It's that simple.
There's no reason to be sorry about anything.
No reason at all.
I guess you want your bread and butter.
Hey, look.
Maybe a little food might change the mood, huh? Amatullo, table 1 8 needs coffee refills.
- Where's table- - Good evening.
Carson's party.
Yes, sir.
Tomorrow night, 7:00, party of six.
We'll be expecting you.
- Table 1 8 needs coffee refills.
- Yes, sir.
Right away.
Hold up the red.
Hold up the other.
- Just look at the red for a second.
- I like the red.
Welcome to The Color is Right.
Tonight's contestants- red and aqua.
- Look at the red.
- No, hold up the aqua.
All right.
Let's be serious, okay? I have to make a decision.
Well, the aqua looks too babyish, and the red looks like you're trying too hard.
And if you need any more help, don't hesitate to come to us.
Go with the aqua.
Emotionally, it's a much more comforting color.
- Red can be so threatening.
- Who told you that? I read a book.
Healthy Colors for a Sick World.
- I'll wait for the movie.
- I'm gonna go with the aqua.
Montgomery, you sound like you know, so I'm gonna go with it.
- When's the audition anyway? - Tonight.
- Are you scared? - I'm too nervous to tell.
I wish I was Catholic so I could stop off at St.
Pat's and light a candle for you.
- I'll go anyway.
They'll never know.
- You wanna bet? Sleep.
I'll go home and do something in your honor.
- That's fine.
- So are you.
You'll be great.
You will.
Miss Grant? Are you goin' to that audition? I sure am.
You gonna wish me luck? You don't want me to be a hypocrite, do you? No.
Then I can't wish you luck.
Why not? I don't want you to get the job, 'cause I don't want you to leave the school.
Maybe I'm selfish, but I ain't no hypocrite.
Thank you very much.
We'll look forward to seeing you.
- Not too busy tonight, huh? - Too early yet.
The before-theater crowd'll start showing up in half an hour or so.
- Any cancellations? - Not so far.
Some of the Carson party have arrived already.
They're in the back.
Miss Douglas? - Good luck.
- Thanks.
Yeah, good luck.
Would you talk to our pianist about the music you picked? - He's not quite certain what you're after.
- Glad to.
Are you nervous? Sure.
I would have thought after a lot of auditioning, that goes away.
You'd better hope it doesn't go away, child not if you want a chance at gettin' the job.
Do you ever just wanna turn around and leave and not go through with it? Almost every time.
That's just being scared.
And being scared that's as much a part of auditioning as singing and dancing.
You learn to live with it.
Being scared makes people say dumb things sometimes too.
I wouldn't know, honey.
I never say anything dumb myself.
We'd better warm up.
- Good luck yourself.
- Thanks.
Miss Grant? Ready for you, please.
Miss Grant? Could I ask you a question, please? - Yeah, sure.
- Down here.
What's the question? Am I about to get all hot and sweaty and out of breath for nothing? I don't know what you're talkin' about.
The hell you don't.
If you look me in the eye and tell me the part isn't cast then I'll dance my feet into bloody stumps to get it.
But you're gonna have to look me in the eye and tell me.
This isn't an easy racket, you know.
I know.
This is my first directing job.
Know that too.
I'm human.
Well, if I didn't know that before, I surely know it now.
Don't I? There's no need for you to audition.
Jimmy, we're done here.
Let's go get a drink.
What, are they on a break or somethin'? What? Gee, that's a pretty leotard.
You buy it for this audition? Well, come on.
Let's go put it in your locker at school.
I'll explain on the way.
Amatullo, where you been? They need butter over on table 1 2 and ice water over at- I'm sorry.
I really am.
But he talked to me! - Who talked to you? - Johnny Carson actually talked to me.
- You've been bothering Mr.
Carson? - Of course not.
What do you think I am, some kind of jerk or somethin'? I noticed that he wasn't at the table for coffee refills so I checked in the men's room to see if he'd listen to my material.
You gotta be kiddin'.
He was washing his hands.
He didn't have anything else to do.
And then he had to wait for the hot air machine to dry 'em off.
But he actually listened and actually talked to me.
- What did he say? - He said, "Buzz off, kid.
" Table 1 2, butter.
Right away.
It's not fair.
I know I could've played that part.
I know it.
No, you couldn't.
The understudy's part for sure but the lead- not yet.
Child, you still have some stuff to learn.
I guess that's why there are teachers then, huh? I guess that's why.