Family Reunion (2019) s01e15 Episode Script

Remember When Shaka Got Beat Up?

1 A Netflix Original I want y'all to meet my family They're coming down south To stay with me - Big Moz - Do you love me? - Yep - I'm Cocoa! Jade in the house I've got a lot to say I'm a big sis, can't-miss renegade - Call me Shaka now - Hey - I'm the I'm the chief rocker now - Hey Mazzi, Mazzi, Mazzi, Mazzi, Mazzi That's me - Little mommy, I'm Ami - Hey Singing loud and having fun It's Family Reunion [M'DEAR LAUGHS.]
[SHAKA.]
Family Reunion was filmed in front of a live studio audience.
Vampire Tale was awesome.
I've never been to a theater where people actually yelled at the screen.
That's Columbus.
[CHUCKLES.]
And they sang along with all the songs.
That's Columbus, too.
And the high-pitched screaming? - That was me.
[CLEARS THROAT, LAUGHS.]
- [LAUGHS.]
[GASPS.]
Sorry.
Hey, watch where you're walking.
My bad.
And you just scuffed up my shoes! Come on, it's not like you can really tell with the other scuffs.
What did you say? He said he's sorry and it'll never happen again.
Let's go, Shaka.
Maybe I'll just take your shoes.
You and what army? [SLURPS.]
Next time I say, "What army?" I should probably make sure he doesn't have an actual army.
[TSKS, SIGHS.]
You know, I was just thinking that.
- You know what else I was thinking? - What? Run! [GRUNTS.]
Come on! [GRUNTS.]
Guys! Looks like you flipped yourself into a beatdown.
Come on, guys.
Can't we just talk about this? I have to tell you this is gonna hurt.
Choon bi! [COLLECTIVE GRUNT.]
The Last Dragons only fight in competition or to defend themselves! He disrespected me.
- How? - He scuffed up my sneakers.
How can you tell with all those other scuffs? Uh, young man do you practice tae kwon do? I trained at a dojo in Seattle before my family and I moved here.
[TSKS.]
It was probably some bougie gym with pilates and a juice bar.
[LAST DRAGONS LAUGHING.]
It also serves smoothies.
[LAUGHING CONTINUES.]
Dragons! Run.
And you'll run until I get tired.
- Uh, what's your name, son? - Shaka McKellan.
Any relation to Jebediah McKellan? He's my grandfather! I know him well! - You do? - Shaka, I'll save you! Get that dummy up.
Which one? So how long has your so-called babysitter been asleep? Let's see.
Mom and Dad left at 5:30.
Jade was snoring by 5:32.
[LAUGHTER OUTSIDE.]
Jade, wake up, they're back! - Wake up! - I'm up.
I'm up, I'm up.
[LAUGHS.]
- Hey, yo, it was amazing.
[CHUCKLES.]
- I know, I know.
[CHUCKLES.]
You're back so soon! And you've got a pillow in your hair.
- [MUMBLES.]
- Oh, I made up a new game.
It's called Pin the Jade to the Pillow.
- I did it while she was - Studying! [CHUCKLES.]
How to be the best babysitter ever! - [CHUCKLES.]
- Thanks, Jade.
Your father and I, we hadn't had a date night - in so long.
- Mm.
Yeah, I almost forgot how much fun your mom is.
[SIGHS.]
We played trivia, - sang karaoke - Mm-hm.
- and watched the stars.
- Yeah, we did.
[CHUCKLES.]
I'm still waiting on the fun part.
Your father and I, - we had a great time.
- Mm-hm.
- [SCOFFS.]
- I bet you did.
[IN LOW VOICE.]
Your shirt is on inside out.
- [GASPS.]
- Gotcha.
[CHUCKLES.]
But you did tell on yourself.
[CHUCKLES.]
Well, we had fun here.
Isn't that right, Ami? [CHUCKLES.]
Uh Sure.
All right.
Well, look Don't spend it all in one place.
It's 20 dollars.
I can barely spend it in one place.
It's 20 more than zero.
True.
I'm closer to my Childish Gambino tickets.
If I start babysitting more kids, I could probably get VIP passes.
Well, you could start with our neighbor, Mason.
His parents are always looking for a sitter.
Oh, I'd be happy to add Mason to my client list.
[CHUCKLES.]
You know, Jade loves the kids! - [CHUCKLES.]
- Girl, please.
- [CHUCKLES.]
- Here's a tip.
Get Ami to bed.
- A dollar? - [COCOA.]
Ugh! I know.
Insulting.
Like you'd charge to put your sister to bed.
[BOTH CHUCKLE.]
Okay.
- Bye, guys.
- Good night.
[COCOA.]
Good night! [FOOTSTEPS ASCENDING.]
What? I need my cut, if you don't want me to tell Mom and Dad you slept the whole time.
I wasn't asleep the whole time.
- [YELLS.]
Mom! - Oh, no, no, no.
- What do you want? - Five dollars.
I know that, while you were napping, Ami took Grandpa's car out for a spin.
- That did not happen.
- How do you know? You were asleep.
[CHUCKLES.]
Thank you.
Nice doing business with you.
[CHUCKLES.]
That's our weights section, and this is our meditation room.
So, uh, what do you think? [SIGHS.]
Think I need a tetanus shot.
Cocoa, you know how hard it is for startups to get going? Shandu, how long you guys been here? About 50 years.
See? Brand new! I can't believe you've managed to keep this place open this long.
Oh, we've closed our doors a few times, but we've always managed to open them again.
Shandu and I started this dojo before your father was born.
So you know [GRUNTS.]
karate? I excel in all the disciplines.
Translation, uh, he is a bad man.
Mm.
"Shujaa"? What does that mean? That means "warrior" in Swahili.
Oh, Reverend Jeb, you were [SING-SONG.]
fine! Why did you quit? I could reach more people with the word than my fist.
Oh, well, I wanna join this dojo.
I could pick up where I left off in Seattle.
Kicking butt and taking names.
- Shaka - Okay, I didn't take many names.
So you think you've got skills, huh? Look, I don't mean to brag, but Shaka was undefeated in the Peewee division.
Well, he's welcome to join us.
Oh, no offense but how do we know you're qualified to train our son? Uh, I think Cocoa is worried that you're a little too old to be [MUMBLES.]
Mm-mm.
Okay.
[WHISPERS.]
He's qualified.
[SIGHS.]
- I'm still not sure.
- [SIGHS.]
Well, I'll tell you what.
Let him come and work out with us and then decide.
Can I, please? Mom? Dad? Okay, fine.
You can work out today.
Uh, young man, pick up that jacket.
[COCOA CHUCKLES.]
You should see his room.
Uh, the Last Dragon believe in discipline.
And if you don't, young man, we'll make you a believer.
Fifty push-ups.
You just made me a believer too.
Where do we sign him up? Oh, Mason, you're so cute! Looking just like your momma.
[COCOA CHUCKLES.]
- Good luck, Jade.
- Mm-hm.
Jade, are you sure you can handle babysitting two kids? Ugh, they'll entertain each other.
Two kids is half a person.
Now I understand why you're struggling in math.
I got this down.
I think I'll start babysitting more kids and make more money.
Who wants candy? - I do.
- I do.
You are a copycat.
Uhh! Jade, he "uhh"ed at me! Uh-oh, the "uhh"s have started.
Next, there'll be [BLOWS RASPBERRY.]
Hm.
Problem solved.
Until the sugar kicks in! I calculate that'll take about an hour, when Mason's mom is due.
So that'll be her problem.
[CHUCKLES.]
I guess my math isn't as bad as you thought.
But your memory is worse.
Mason is gonna be here another three hours and his father is picking him up.
Oh.
[LAUGHS NERVOUSLY.]
Come here, Mason.
Mason! Mason! How did you get your folks to let you join too? Easy.
I told them I either wanted to study martial arts or get a little brother.
I had a check in my hand in no time.
They even gave me another check if I never said it again.
[ELVIS CHUCKLES.]
So, uh, how's it going with Jet Li Roy over there? It's cool.
He pretty much keeps to himself.
Between you and me, I think he's kind of intimidated by me.
I don't know, Shaka.
Legend says that he's never been knocked down.
Isn't that right, Legend? [GRUNTS.]
Did you see that? See what? Good.
[CHUCKLES.]
Ah, just in time.
I didn't want to miss this.
Glad you could make it.
All right.
Choon bi! [CHUCKLES.]
Now we are only a couple of days away from the first competition of the season.
So, let's spar! Bruce! Okay.
Our three-time champion is in! Who's gonna spar with him? I'll take some.
Okay, jeja.
Step on in here.
Okay.
Stay in the circle.
Stepping out, contact or any takedown is a point! So, now, let's get it on! Wait where are the body pads? You don't need pads.
You're already soft enough.
And spar! Point! Shaka, this is not a jumping contest! We only do tae kwon do! So stay on your feet and stay in the ring.
And spar! Point! [GRUNTS.]
[GROANS.]
Get up.
No.
I'm good.
[SQUEALS, CHUCKLES.]
Yes! Jade, you okay? Am I okay? School's closed next Friday for a teacher work day.
So So, I'm gonna be rich.
If I can babysit 12 kids, I'll have enough money for VIP concert tickets, a new outfit and a tip for the Lyft driver If he's cute.
[SQUEALS.]
Jade loves the kids! Not as much as Jade loves money.
Mm.
Uh, Cocoa, Son, it's not what it looks like.
[COCOA GASPS.]
Who did this to you? My baby! Someone's gonna die! Calm down.
It's all a part of martial arts.
Well, it shouldn't be.
I'm calling the authorities! And tell them what? That Shaka got hurt trying to hurt somebody else? He has a point.
Well, he doesn't have to go back.
[SIGHS.]
Cool with me.
We got any ice cream? Oh, he's going back.
Oh, no, he's not.
But you got knocked down.
That's why he's not going back.
Moz, what did I tell you when you got hurt in your first scrimmage? You said, "It's not about how many times you fall down, you just have to get up one more time.
" And it wasn't just about football.
It was how you have to live your life.
And, Cocoa, I know you're not a quitter.
Oh, I'm not quitting.
I want him to quit.
McKellans have all been knocked down, but we never stayed down.
Well, somebody has to stop this vicious cycle.
What if Harriet Tubman stopped helping the slaves to freedom because it rained? What if Martin Luther King stopped marching because his feet hurt? Where would we be today? [SIGHS.]
The man makes sense.
Mm-hm.
Son, you can't just walk away the first time things don't go your way.
Do you feel like you've done your best? Honestly? Then go back in there.
And when you feel like you've done your best, then you can make a proper decision.
Okay? Okay.
Come here.
[KIDS SCREAMING, YELLING.]
[PANTS.]
[SIGHS.]
- [SIGHS.]
- [KNOCKING ON DOOR.]
- No one's in here.
- [M'DEAR.]
Girl, get out of my room! M'Dear, are you alone? Yes.
Open up.
[GRUNTS.]
Woo! You've got a dozen kids out there running around like wild animals.
[SIGHS.]
You were right.
Babysitting is hard.
Oh! You can say that again.
Babysitting is hard.
No, the first part.
You were right.
[LAUGHS.]
Oh, I love those words.
I thought I had it under control.
- Mm.
- [SCREAMS.]
[KIDS SCREAMING, YELLING.]
Tag, you're it! You cheated! Y'all need to stop playing in my room! Tag.
Now you're it! [MASON PANTING.]
Please, M'Dear just calm them down.
Okay, but you have to promise no more babysitting! Oh, I promise.
Just make it all go away.
- Okay, I'm gonna do this for you.
- Okay.
Just this once.
[SIGHS.]
[KIDS SCREAMING, YELLING.]
Who wants a whipping? [SCREAMING STOPS.]
[SIGHS.]
You see? That's how it's done.
[CHUCKLES.]
[CHUCKLES.]
Bye.
[CLEARS THROAT.]
[SIGHS.]
Ten down.
Two more to go.
My headache is almost over.
Ami lives here.
She's not leaving.
Okay, my headache's back.
- [SIGHS.]
- [KIDS SCREAMING.]
Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no.
No, no, no, no! Drop the Silly String! [SCREAMING.]
No, no! [YELLS.]
Freeze! Freeze! - [CAMERA CLICKS.]
- [KIDS CHUCKLING.]
- Carry on! - No! [INDISTINCT YELLING.]
Stop! Stop, stop, stop! That's enough! - [M'DEAR, AMI, MASON CHUCKLE.]
- [PANTING.]
- Come on.
Give it over.
- No.
[MASON, QUIETLY.]
No.
I need to talk to you two.
Sit down.
[CHUCKLES.]
[AMI.]
Hm.
- All right.
Ami - Nice.
why can't you get along with Mason? He smells like chocolate chips.
But you love chocolate.
And why can't you get along with Ami? Her laugh is annoying.
So you make her laugh a lot? Yeah, he does.
Mason is my silliest friend.
Whoa! We're friends? Duh.
Look, maybe if you focus on the things you like about each other instead of the things you don't like, you'll have more fun.
- Cool.
You want to go outside and play? - Sure.
[CHUCKLES.]
Well, would you look at that? They're finally getting along.
Yeah.
And guess what? Ami and Mason have a crush on each other.
Duh! Well, now you can go see that Childish Gambino.
Oh, I don't want anything else to do with children.
I don't know why you came back.
I'm just going to hurt you worse.
Your breath is kicking me already.
And spar! [SHAKA GRUNTS.]
Point! That's okay, Shaka.
- You got this! - You can do it, buddy.
Come on! So you got up this time.
I'm gonna make you regret that.
And spar! Come on, Shaka! You got it! [SHAKA.]
Oh! Out of bounds.
Point! Ah, come on! That was close.
It was.
And spar! - Yes! - [CHEERING.]
- [GRUNTS.]
- [CHEERING STOPS.]
Oh, no, no, no, not my baby! Excuse me! Illegal blow! - Point goes to Shaka! - [SHAKA GROANS.]
Injury time-out.
- Come on, you're okay.
- [EXHALES.]
Good job, good job.
He does that again, I am gonna fight his momma.
He does that again, I'm gonna look for his daddy.
[SIGHS.]
That's okay.
Good job.
Uh I-I'm calling it, Jeb.
- Okay.
- No.
Just give me a minute.
Look, you don't have anything left to prove.
I'm already proud of you.
Thanks, Grandpa.
But I have something to prove to myself.
You sure about this? [EXHALES FORCEFULLY.]
He wants to continue.
Okay.
- Huh! - And spar! [CROWD CHEERING.]
Point! He knocked him down.
Shaka ended his streak! That's what I'm talking about.
Beat him like he stole something, baby.
Okay.
It's tied at two.
Next point wins.
Huh! And spar! [TENSE INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC PLAYING.]
- Yeah! - Winner! - Let's go! - [CROWD CHEERING.]
Good match, bro.
I guess you're not so soft after all.
Welcome to the Last Dragons.
Somebody get this man a jacket.
Uh I got an original here.
[CROWD CHEERING.]
[CHUCKLES.]
[CLOSING THEME PLAYS.]

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