Fantastic Four (2006) s01e01 Episode Script
Trial By Fire
Man, I must be some kind of magnet for giant alien robots.
Great! Now it's giant alien robots with lasers.
(JOHNNY WHOOPING) REED ON RADIO: Johnny, we're on our way.
ETA 22.
3 seconds.
Wait for backup.
Do not attack.
Repeat.
Do not attack the robot.
Oh, attack? Me? Never.
(JOHNNY CHUCKLING) Flame on! That's his third car this month.
I don't understand it.
I've explained to him my theory about these It's Johnny.
You lost him at "Don't.
" How about we save Johnny now and complain about him later? Nice try, robo-chump, but I got (GASPS) REED: Johnny, don't! (JOHNNY WHOOPING) Did you see that? Boom! Man, that was cool.
I'm sorry, Reed.
What were you saying? (GASPS) Johnny! You said it wouldn't hurt him.
My scans of the robot showed no signs of weaponry.
No weapons? It just vaporized my brother.
No, not vaporized, transported.
I'm getting residual wormhole readings.
I think I can track it.
Think? You think? I mean, I most likely can track it.
From what I gather, Johnny's been taken to another galaxy.
(GROANS) My baby brother taken to another galaxy? (EXCLAIMS) Nice one, Stretch.
Remind me to never have you cheer me up.
I didn't mean to imply I mean, it's wholly possible he's alive and well, just in another galaxy.
Right.
All I know is that when she wakes up, try to have a better answer than that.
I see your point.
Our appearance at the children's hospital fundraiser will have to wait.
I'll call them on our way back to the Baxter Building.
No, I'll cover.
Anything for the kids, right? - You've got the hard job.
- Finding Johnny? Keeping Suzy from tying you in knots.
Get busy.
(TIRES SCREECHING) BEN: Hey, I'm landing here! (GROANING) Funny, I don't remember putting a dog collar on this morning.
RONAN: Jonathan Spencer Storm.
Sis? Man, you sound horrible.
(CROWD SHOUTING) Whoa, the Smurfs got big.
I am Ronan the Accuser.
Are you Angry Smurf? Silence! You have been charged with high crimes against the Kree empire.
Prepare to be judged.
Judged, huh? Let me think about that for a sec.
Nah, I'm outta here.
Flame on! So long, suckers! (GRUNTING) (SCREAMING) Yeah, you're the Angry Smurf.
MAN: Ladies and gentlemen, here to dedicate the opening of the New York Children's Hospital are the Fantastic What? Well, sadly three of the team have been called away on an emergency, but I would like to present the Thing! (AUDIENCE APPLAUDING) Hi.
Yeah, sorry about the door.
Yeah, okay.
Reed prepared a speech.
Oh, no.
Stupid fat fingers! Oh, anything for the kids.
(TEARING) And there go the pants.
Just calibrating now.
I'm tracing the path of the energy signature.
Really, quite an interesting form of Right, sorry.
- So where is he? - Susan, you have to understand.
Johnny could be anywhere in the universe.
He Where is my brother? HERBIE: Energy reading matched and located.
It looks like he's in Central Park.
RONAN: We have returned to Earth.
Under Kree law, you have the right to be terminated on your home planet.
Good, because I've got places to be.
I'm an important person.
I can't just be abducted by crazy aliens and Terminated? (SIRENS BLARING) Susan, wait.
The energy readings are like nothing I've ever seen.
Is my brother in there? Well, according to my instruments, yes, but (GRUNTS) Fascinating! This energy, the readings are off the scale.
I'll show you "off the scale.
" Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Hold up.
What's this all about? And what is that noise? (POUNDING) RONAN: Your teammates are trying to access you, but their unique abilities are no match for Kree technology.
Let the trial of the accused proceed.
Trial? Do I get a lawyer or anything? (CROWD CLAMORING) Silence! By Hala's laws, the accused has a right to choose his own - Reed Richards! - So be it.
Reed, get out of my way.
Susan, we have to proceed carefully.
We don't know anything about Reed! Reed, here's the short version.
Aliens want to wipe me out.
Don't know why.
Trial.
You're my lawyer.
Go.
Astonishing! An extraterrestrial race, but with uncanny similarities to the Roman culture.
Their technology far outstrips our own.
Yo, Reed.
Termination.
Me.
Please, help! What are the charges against Johnny? I mean, my client.
The accused will be confronted with his crimes in due course.
Choose now two witnesses for his defense.
(CHILDREN LAUGHING) That's the show, folks.
I gotta run.
AUDIENCE: All right! Yeah! (GASPING) Won't give up.
- What? Johnny, you're alive! - Yeah, for the moment.
Hey, I love what you did with your tux there, Benji.
I see Stretch found you, Matchstick, and you're in trouble as usual.
- Who do you want me to hit first? - Nobody yet.
This is supposed to be some sort of trial.
We'll try to play by the rules.
As legal counsel to Jonathan Spencer Storm, I respectfully request that the charges against him be presented, so that we Behold, the accused's crimes against the Kree empire.
RONAN: Eleven earth weeks ago, Kree Sentry 459 attempted contact and was destroyed without provocation.
It was big and ugly.
I thought it was trying to break in.
RONAN: Sentry 521.
It snuck up behind me, but you have to admit that was a pretty sweet move.
RONAN: Sentry 714.
Using a simple scanning laser.
Look, by that time it was kind of a habit.
May it please this court.
My client admits the events did, in fact, transpire as depicted, but maintains that the Krees' intentions were subject to misinterpretation.
He regrets the incidents and would like to offer restitution.
Are you speaking alien? Just say you're sorry.
I am.
I am totally sorry.
Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry.
It won't happen again.
Any attack on a Kree sentry is considered an attack on the empire.
And all who attack the empire are judged.
My brother is a hero.
He's a good, responsible person.
He would never knowingly just attack.
Jonathan Spencer Storm, have you lost your mind? How could you be so irresponsible? Can't you go one minute without starting trouble? SUPREMEINTELLIGENCE: Witness testimony overruled.
The Supreme Intelligence has spoken.
Hey, look here, pal.
The kid may be a little hotheaded but Ben, be careful! They're using our thoughts and memories against Jonathan I got this, Stretch.
No way am I letting you hurt Johnny.
He's a good kid.
He's brave, he's got a big heart.
Sure, he's short on brains, but BEN: Johnny! (CHUCKLING) That was pretty good.
SUPREMEINTELLIGENCE: Witness testimony overruled.
The verdict is rendered.
Jonathan Storm has been judged hostile to the Kree empire and will be terminated forthwith.
The defense would like to protest the decision.
SUPREMEINTELLIGENCE: Denied! (ROARING) No! I'm thinking it's clobbering time! Yes.
So much for fostering interplanetary relations.
Maybe they think fighting is friendly.
RONAN: Very well! If you stand with the accused, you shall share his fate.
The Fantastic Four are hereby declared enemies of the Kree empire.
And I shall carry out your sentences personally.
CROWD: Ronan! Ronan! (GROWLING) Just get out of here, you guys.
I caused this.
You don't have to go down with me.
You sure you want us to go, Matchstick? Well, you can stay if you want.
This has gone far enough.
(GRUNTS) Sis! Why have you come here, Ronan? Is this how you make contact with alien races? The Kree do not make contact.
The Kree conquer.
How do the Kree feel about appeals? Hey, blue boy! Why don't you pick on someone your own size? Come on! This stupid collar! Thanks, Sis.
(GRUNTING) (CHUCKLING) Oh, boy.
(GRUNTING) Oh, yeah, got my game on today.
This is no game! (EXCLAIMS) (SOBBING) Hey, kid! You, blue alien Smurf kid, get out of there! (GROWLING) Come on.
Flame on! Run, get out of here! Good doggy.
Stay! Your sentence is at hand.
Prepare for elimination! Eliminate this! (GRUNTS) Nice try, kid.
Now it ends.
CROWD: Johnny, Johnny, Johnny, Johnny, Johnny, Johnny! Johnny, Johnny, Johnny, Johnny, Johnny! Silence! How dare you speak out against the Supreme Public Accuser! These humans will be dealt with! You are an enemy of the Kree people.
You will be Hold! The Kree people have spoken, Accuser.
For saving the life of a Kree, the Earth dwellers will be spared.
For now.
But, Supremor, this human, this Johnny Storm has defied me.
Mocked me! They are all a danger to the Kree empire.
Let me destroy them! Silence! Foolish, impulsive, dangerously powerful, but not an enemy.
These creatures may yet be useful against the Skrulls.
Skrulls? Their sentence is suspended for now.
The Supreme Intelligence has spoken.
Supremor, no! You can't do this.
This is not over! (SIRENS WAILING) Now, that was seriously weird.
Oh, Sis.
It's okay, I'm okay.
Well, don't get used to it, because once I'm done hugging you, you're gonna be in big trouble.
So, I did a lot of thinking last night after my abduction and all.
I just wanted to thank you guys for bailing me out.
Again.
I'm really sorry for causing you so much trouble.
Hey, was that okay? I don't apologize much.
That was lovely, Johnny, but we're not the only ones you should be apologizing to.
Yeah, he's next on my list.
MAN ON TV:incredible show over at the dedication of the Manhattan children's hospital.
All thanks to the ever-loving, blue-eyed Thing.
JOHNNY: Ben? Here to dedicate the opening of the I just wanted to say I'm sorry for being a jerk to you all the time.
Seeing it all up there on that screen like that, all at once, it just I'm just really sorry.
Forget about it.
To tell you the truth, I would have smashed that robot, too.
But you did real good saving those aliens like that.
I'm real proud of you, Flamebrain.
Thanks, big guy.
That means a lot to me.
Great! Now it's giant alien robots with lasers.
(JOHNNY WHOOPING) REED ON RADIO: Johnny, we're on our way.
ETA 22.
3 seconds.
Wait for backup.
Do not attack.
Repeat.
Do not attack the robot.
Oh, attack? Me? Never.
(JOHNNY CHUCKLING) Flame on! That's his third car this month.
I don't understand it.
I've explained to him my theory about these It's Johnny.
You lost him at "Don't.
" How about we save Johnny now and complain about him later? Nice try, robo-chump, but I got (GASPS) REED: Johnny, don't! (JOHNNY WHOOPING) Did you see that? Boom! Man, that was cool.
I'm sorry, Reed.
What were you saying? (GASPS) Johnny! You said it wouldn't hurt him.
My scans of the robot showed no signs of weaponry.
No weapons? It just vaporized my brother.
No, not vaporized, transported.
I'm getting residual wormhole readings.
I think I can track it.
Think? You think? I mean, I most likely can track it.
From what I gather, Johnny's been taken to another galaxy.
(GROANS) My baby brother taken to another galaxy? (EXCLAIMS) Nice one, Stretch.
Remind me to never have you cheer me up.
I didn't mean to imply I mean, it's wholly possible he's alive and well, just in another galaxy.
Right.
All I know is that when she wakes up, try to have a better answer than that.
I see your point.
Our appearance at the children's hospital fundraiser will have to wait.
I'll call them on our way back to the Baxter Building.
No, I'll cover.
Anything for the kids, right? - You've got the hard job.
- Finding Johnny? Keeping Suzy from tying you in knots.
Get busy.
(TIRES SCREECHING) BEN: Hey, I'm landing here! (GROANING) Funny, I don't remember putting a dog collar on this morning.
RONAN: Jonathan Spencer Storm.
Sis? Man, you sound horrible.
(CROWD SHOUTING) Whoa, the Smurfs got big.
I am Ronan the Accuser.
Are you Angry Smurf? Silence! You have been charged with high crimes against the Kree empire.
Prepare to be judged.
Judged, huh? Let me think about that for a sec.
Nah, I'm outta here.
Flame on! So long, suckers! (GRUNTING) (SCREAMING) Yeah, you're the Angry Smurf.
MAN: Ladies and gentlemen, here to dedicate the opening of the New York Children's Hospital are the Fantastic What? Well, sadly three of the team have been called away on an emergency, but I would like to present the Thing! (AUDIENCE APPLAUDING) Hi.
Yeah, sorry about the door.
Yeah, okay.
Reed prepared a speech.
Oh, no.
Stupid fat fingers! Oh, anything for the kids.
(TEARING) And there go the pants.
Just calibrating now.
I'm tracing the path of the energy signature.
Really, quite an interesting form of Right, sorry.
- So where is he? - Susan, you have to understand.
Johnny could be anywhere in the universe.
He Where is my brother? HERBIE: Energy reading matched and located.
It looks like he's in Central Park.
RONAN: We have returned to Earth.
Under Kree law, you have the right to be terminated on your home planet.
Good, because I've got places to be.
I'm an important person.
I can't just be abducted by crazy aliens and Terminated? (SIRENS BLARING) Susan, wait.
The energy readings are like nothing I've ever seen.
Is my brother in there? Well, according to my instruments, yes, but (GRUNTS) Fascinating! This energy, the readings are off the scale.
I'll show you "off the scale.
" Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Hold up.
What's this all about? And what is that noise? (POUNDING) RONAN: Your teammates are trying to access you, but their unique abilities are no match for Kree technology.
Let the trial of the accused proceed.
Trial? Do I get a lawyer or anything? (CROWD CLAMORING) Silence! By Hala's laws, the accused has a right to choose his own - Reed Richards! - So be it.
Reed, get out of my way.
Susan, we have to proceed carefully.
We don't know anything about Reed! Reed, here's the short version.
Aliens want to wipe me out.
Don't know why.
Trial.
You're my lawyer.
Go.
Astonishing! An extraterrestrial race, but with uncanny similarities to the Roman culture.
Their technology far outstrips our own.
Yo, Reed.
Termination.
Me.
Please, help! What are the charges against Johnny? I mean, my client.
The accused will be confronted with his crimes in due course.
Choose now two witnesses for his defense.
(CHILDREN LAUGHING) That's the show, folks.
I gotta run.
AUDIENCE: All right! Yeah! (GASPING) Won't give up.
- What? Johnny, you're alive! - Yeah, for the moment.
Hey, I love what you did with your tux there, Benji.
I see Stretch found you, Matchstick, and you're in trouble as usual.
- Who do you want me to hit first? - Nobody yet.
This is supposed to be some sort of trial.
We'll try to play by the rules.
As legal counsel to Jonathan Spencer Storm, I respectfully request that the charges against him be presented, so that we Behold, the accused's crimes against the Kree empire.
RONAN: Eleven earth weeks ago, Kree Sentry 459 attempted contact and was destroyed without provocation.
It was big and ugly.
I thought it was trying to break in.
RONAN: Sentry 521.
It snuck up behind me, but you have to admit that was a pretty sweet move.
RONAN: Sentry 714.
Using a simple scanning laser.
Look, by that time it was kind of a habit.
May it please this court.
My client admits the events did, in fact, transpire as depicted, but maintains that the Krees' intentions were subject to misinterpretation.
He regrets the incidents and would like to offer restitution.
Are you speaking alien? Just say you're sorry.
I am.
I am totally sorry.
Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry.
It won't happen again.
Any attack on a Kree sentry is considered an attack on the empire.
And all who attack the empire are judged.
My brother is a hero.
He's a good, responsible person.
He would never knowingly just attack.
Jonathan Spencer Storm, have you lost your mind? How could you be so irresponsible? Can't you go one minute without starting trouble? SUPREMEINTELLIGENCE: Witness testimony overruled.
The Supreme Intelligence has spoken.
Hey, look here, pal.
The kid may be a little hotheaded but Ben, be careful! They're using our thoughts and memories against Jonathan I got this, Stretch.
No way am I letting you hurt Johnny.
He's a good kid.
He's brave, he's got a big heart.
Sure, he's short on brains, but BEN: Johnny! (CHUCKLING) That was pretty good.
SUPREMEINTELLIGENCE: Witness testimony overruled.
The verdict is rendered.
Jonathan Storm has been judged hostile to the Kree empire and will be terminated forthwith.
The defense would like to protest the decision.
SUPREMEINTELLIGENCE: Denied! (ROARING) No! I'm thinking it's clobbering time! Yes.
So much for fostering interplanetary relations.
Maybe they think fighting is friendly.
RONAN: Very well! If you stand with the accused, you shall share his fate.
The Fantastic Four are hereby declared enemies of the Kree empire.
And I shall carry out your sentences personally.
CROWD: Ronan! Ronan! (GROWLING) Just get out of here, you guys.
I caused this.
You don't have to go down with me.
You sure you want us to go, Matchstick? Well, you can stay if you want.
This has gone far enough.
(GRUNTS) Sis! Why have you come here, Ronan? Is this how you make contact with alien races? The Kree do not make contact.
The Kree conquer.
How do the Kree feel about appeals? Hey, blue boy! Why don't you pick on someone your own size? Come on! This stupid collar! Thanks, Sis.
(GRUNTING) (CHUCKLING) Oh, boy.
(GRUNTING) Oh, yeah, got my game on today.
This is no game! (EXCLAIMS) (SOBBING) Hey, kid! You, blue alien Smurf kid, get out of there! (GROWLING) Come on.
Flame on! Run, get out of here! Good doggy.
Stay! Your sentence is at hand.
Prepare for elimination! Eliminate this! (GRUNTS) Nice try, kid.
Now it ends.
CROWD: Johnny, Johnny, Johnny, Johnny, Johnny, Johnny! Johnny, Johnny, Johnny, Johnny, Johnny! Silence! How dare you speak out against the Supreme Public Accuser! These humans will be dealt with! You are an enemy of the Kree people.
You will be Hold! The Kree people have spoken, Accuser.
For saving the life of a Kree, the Earth dwellers will be spared.
For now.
But, Supremor, this human, this Johnny Storm has defied me.
Mocked me! They are all a danger to the Kree empire.
Let me destroy them! Silence! Foolish, impulsive, dangerously powerful, but not an enemy.
These creatures may yet be useful against the Skrulls.
Skrulls? Their sentence is suspended for now.
The Supreme Intelligence has spoken.
Supremor, no! You can't do this.
This is not over! (SIRENS WAILING) Now, that was seriously weird.
Oh, Sis.
It's okay, I'm okay.
Well, don't get used to it, because once I'm done hugging you, you're gonna be in big trouble.
So, I did a lot of thinking last night after my abduction and all.
I just wanted to thank you guys for bailing me out.
Again.
I'm really sorry for causing you so much trouble.
Hey, was that okay? I don't apologize much.
That was lovely, Johnny, but we're not the only ones you should be apologizing to.
Yeah, he's next on my list.
MAN ON TV:incredible show over at the dedication of the Manhattan children's hospital.
All thanks to the ever-loving, blue-eyed Thing.
JOHNNY: Ben? Here to dedicate the opening of the I just wanted to say I'm sorry for being a jerk to you all the time.
Seeing it all up there on that screen like that, all at once, it just I'm just really sorry.
Forget about it.
To tell you the truth, I would have smashed that robot, too.
But you did real good saving those aliens like that.
I'm real proud of you, Flamebrain.
Thanks, big guy.
That means a lot to me.