Fantastic Four (2006) s01e19 Episode Script


Just go over them, Edward! Honk your horn, at least.
Courtney, please.
Only a fool honks his horn in a traffic jam.
(HORNS HONKING) (HONKING HORN) Move it, you idiots! (CREAKING) (WOMAN SCREAMING) (EXCLAIMING) Have no fear, citizens.
We're here to save you.
(JOHNNY MUTTERING) Who in the blue blazes are those guys? (JOHNNY GRUNTING) I invented unstable molecules some years ago.
Their unique nature allows material made with them to adapt to any number of different energies and physical stresses.
The Fantastic Four currently use them in our home, uniforms, and clothing.
The Human Torch is particularly hard on his clothes, as you could imagine.
(ALL LAUGHING) I've been working with the city on various applications for the unstable molecule material, even donating a sample to the university.
So, any questions? What do you think of the Wizard's Four? The Fantastic Four welcome and commend anyone who wants to help save lives.
Any questions about unstable molecules? Since the Wizard's Four are better than you guys at everything, are you gonna retire or something? I've heard the Wizard's IQ is higher than yours.
Is that true? Dr.
Richards, I have a question about unstable molecules.
Yes? Given the interaction between protons and electrons in atomic particles, do you think you could take the Wizard in a fight? And I'm leaving now.
No, I don't know anything about the Wizard.
The Human Torch is on the Ow! You're in my way, imbecile.
Hey! I was saving that.
"Was" being the operative word there.
The boys are jealous? Other heroes muscling in on their territory? Yeah.
Johnny's going nuts.
Ben acts like he doesn't care, but I know he does.
And Reed Well, Reed's been weird about the whole thing.
He doesn't talk about it.
And what about you? Well, I don't (EXPLOSION) Be right back.
A little girl shouldn't play with superpowers.
(LAUGHING) (CAT MEOWING) (BEN HUMMING) Kitty's in the tree and she can't get down.
Relax, kid.
I normally don't do this kind of thing, but (BEN EXCLAIMING) Problem, Grimm? Don't worry, big guy.
I'll take this one.
You just rest there.
(GIRL LAUGHS) Thanks, Mr.
You saved my kitty.
Hey, what about me? Thanks for nothing, ugly! JOHNNY: Come on, why not? Can't I burn down their headquarters or something? It's not a competition, Johnny! We're supposed to be saving lives, not You can have that sound guy.
What's his name? Klaw? (GROANING) Klaw.
Well, maybe we can.
Reed, who do you want to beat up? No one.
I'm sure the Wizard and his team have the city's best interests at heart.
So Magic Pants whangs me with a coaster, grabs all the glory, and you guys side with him? Great.
Don't you get it? They're stealing our spotlight! Sledge-head, back me up.
These new guys are jerks.
You hate 'em too, right? Gimme a break, Matchstick.
I'm eating here.
Huh? Yeah.
I hate 'em.
Now it's personal.
My teammates and I believe that children are our future.
Sure, we save lives all day, but we always make time for the kids.
That's right.
Someone's got to pick up the Fantastic Four's slack.
Hey, Mr.
Is it true you're the smartest man in the world? Well, little boy, it's not nice to brag.
But yes.
Yes, I am.
BEN: They're dissing us, Stretch.
Big time.
They're just so So smug.
And arrogant.
You should have heard him, Reed.
He even said he was the smartest man on the planet.
Really? Everyone, relax.
I've found a way to get back in the good graces of our fans.
Uh, would that be by helping people? No.
I mean I mean, yes.
But also by making sure we get credit for it.
This guy's a freelance photographer.
My name's Yeah, whatever.
So the plan is he follows me around and takes photos whenever I save the day.
(LAUGHING) Genius, right? - Johnny, I don't think that - Hey, hey.
Trust me.
It's foolproof.
That should not have happened.
Oh, great.
This is far too easy.
I'm telling you, it wasn't me! I didn't start that fire.
BEN: (SCOFFING) Just like you didn't torch my room? And my car.
And my pants.
Go on, admit it.
You were showing off for that photographer, and No! The radio said there was a fire at the warehouse.
Me and the photo guy got there, but there was no fire, and then everything exploded.
Come on, Johnny.
Be serious for once.
This looks terrible.
That picture is everywhere.
Everyone thinks you're dangerous.
(JOHNNY EXCLAIMS) HERBIE! You too? HERBIE: Sorry, but I won't go down like that poor warehouse.
I won't! (WHOOSHING) (PEOPLE EXCLAIMING) Okay, camera guy.
We're trying this again.
We're gonna prove I am not dangerous.
Let's go save some people in really, really cool ways.
All I want to know is, what is the matter with you? I know, I know.
You're never gonna believe me, but I swear I did not blow up that warehouse! REED: Actually, Johnny, I believe you.
Really? I mean, yeah.
I just normally never understand what you say so I was Just want to be sure.
I love being right.
Then again, I'm never wrong.
Are we enjoying our newfound celebrity? Oh, yeah.
And the food's good, too.
When are we going to abandon this charade? It's driving me mad.
We had a deal, Klaw.
You help me, I help you.
It won't be much longer.
TRAPSTER: I don't know, guys.
Everybody loves us.
Maybe there's something to be gained from this hero business.
WIZARD: Stay focused, Peter.
We have a more important goal than basking in this city's dimwitted praise.
And what about the Fantastic Four? They annoy me to no end.
Especially the girl.
Then tomorrow is your lucky day.
I couldn't find data on Dragon Man, but I was able to match the other three using facial-recognition software.
Peter Petruski, aka the Trapster, aka Paste-Pot Pete.
A former chemist who invented a number of amazing adhesives and oils.
- (LAUGHING) Paste.
Paste-eater, more likely.
REED: Ulysses Klaw, aka Klaw.
A physicist working in the field of sonics.
He was doing research in Africa, but no one has heard from him in years.
Too bad we're hearing from him now.
REED: The Wizard.
Bentley Wittman researched gravitational fields.
He made several breakthroughs, but gave it all up to be a magician.
What, like, pull-a-rabbit-out-of-a-hat magician? Are we talking kids' parties here? REED: Specifically, rich kids' parties.
Nothing could be proven, but after the festivities someone stole everything that wasn't nailed down.
JOHNNY: You're saying that three science geeks and their pet dragon are kicking us out of the hero game and they're crooks? Get out of here! So, what are we going to do about it? I think it's time we had a chat with this Frightful Four.
Hey-hey, good name.
I'd like to thank the Wizard's Four, once again, for saving City Hall from that devastating fire, for their heroism and courage, as well as their dedication to the people of New York.
I am pleased to declare the Wizard's Four official heroes of the city.
Thank you, Mr.
Having full security clearance to the city will just make us more efficient in our never-ending battle against evil.
JOHNNY: Oh, man! What is that stench? MAN: What's going on? BEN: Oh, yeah.
It's you guys.
What's your game, Wittman? My dear Mr.
Fantastic, whatever do you mean? I think he's accusing you of something.
Oh, knock it off.
You four are no heroes.
(CROWD PROTESTING) The people seem to disagree with you.
Just know that we'll be watching you.
You may think you're smart, Mr.
Fantastic, but I'm smarter.
We've been one step ahead of you the entire time.
How about I take one step on your head? Such petty jealousy.
Surely heroes such as yourselves don't want a fight? People might think you were unstable.
(BEN EXCLAIMS) BEN: Hey, watch out, Crug.
The Fantastic Four have attacked us.
Take them down! (GROWLING) You and I both know the second this fight started, I won.
REED: Ben, we're leaving.
What? We just started.
Reed, what are you doing? Salvaging what's left of our reputation.
We played right into the Wizard's hands.
JOHNNY: I've got glue all over me.
Everyone hates us.
That's it.
I'm moving to Japan.
They love me in Japan.
Reed Reed Four supervillains have access to the entire city, and everyone thinks we're the bad guys.
Shouldn't we be doing something? I am.
I'm thinking.
I'm going to pack.
The Wizard said that he'd been one step ahead of us the entire time.
So? He's just gloating.
What if the Frightful Four have been able to save the day so efficiently because they're causing the disasters? The bridge, the boat.
They're always right there, and in perfect position to show us up.
- Unbelievable.
- BEN: What are you two, detectives now? Can we just go and beat these guys up? We'll need proof eventually, and I may know where to get it.
JOHNNY: Reed! ALL: Huh? Which way's Tokyo? JOHNNY: So we should burn the negatives, right? Good plan.
Zoom in.
Quadrant 8-H.
- There it is.
- JOHNNY: Told you! I told you it wasn't me.
Ha! I think a certain two somebodies owe me an apology, and cars and a new jacket and possibly a motorcycle.
Seems like an awful lot of work just to make us look bad.
You think they're up to something bigger? JOHNNY: Isn't making us look bad big enough? I mean, he called us unstable, in front of people.
Oh, no.
I know what they're after.
We were given the keys to the kingdom.
All doors are open.
TRAPSTER: I still don't get it.
We could get into any bank in the city with these codes.
Why this? WIZARD: My dear Trapster, Richards doesn't know what he has with these unstable molecules.
He makes clothes with them.
We, on the other hand, will use them for purposes far more destructive.
Take it, Dragon Man.
Going down, please.
WIZARD: Just a quick trip to a private airfield, then on to wealth beyond imagining.
Here's our train now.
I don't think that's a train.
All aboard the "You're Toast" Express.
REED: Give me the molecules, Wizard.
You don't know what you're dealing with.
How did you find us? A good magician knows never to leave their props behind.
You were easy to track, but it was your "unstable" comment that gave you away.
I honestly couldn't help it.
You're such an easy mark.
Making fools of you, suckering this city into loving us.
It wasn't necessary, but it sure was fun.
Gentlemen, time to be bad.
Susan, Ben, focus on the sphere.
No matter what, do not let it open.
BEN: Hi, Fido.
Catch this.
Klaw! Destroy these fools and get the sphere.
I got one question for you.
"Paste-Pot Pete"? Really.
Hey, what were you thinking, man? Do not call me that! BEN: That's what happens when you mess with my pizza, Paste-Pot.
Ha, ha! You eat paste.
That was hot.
Yo, Stretch.
I got the gizmo.
Now what? Uh-oh.
Now you go away.
We'll walk away with your molecules, and the city will love us for it.
Making fools of you, suckering this city into loving us.
It wasn't necessary, but it sure was fun.
(ALL EXCLAIMING ANGRILY) And we can prove that you framed Johnny for the warehouse fire.
No matter.
We have what we wanted.
TRAPSTER: Wizard? Did I hear Mr.
Fantastic say we shouldn't open the sphere? What are you blathering on about, Peter? Oh, no.
(ALL EXCLAIMING) JOHNNY: Ooh, that looks bad.
Wizard, you fool.
I told you that you didn't know what you were dealing with.
The unstable molecules are in their raw form.
Interaction with normal matter is causing a chain reaction.
Everything it touches is becoming Unstable.
(SCREAMING) (ROARING) (ROARING) Hey, he's a robot.
Susan, Klaw.
I need you to isolate the affected matter.
Think again, hero.
I'll see you in He deserved it.
Susan, you can do this.
Your bubble has to go underground as well.
You have to completely contain it.
Otherwise, the entire city could be destroyed.
So, no pressure.
You're doing great.
Once the molecules are isolated, the reaction will stop, rendering it inert.
(GROANING) Did I ever tell you you're amazing? No, but go on.
We got Glue-boy, the Dragon's jelly, Klaw's out cold Where's the Wizard? Got him.
He tried to run.
Can you believe it? You won't do that again, will you, Wiz? (CROWD CHEERING) JOHNNY: Hey, make me look good, whatever your name is.
SUZY: It really didn't bother you? When everyone thought the Frightful Four were heroes, that people liked them better than us? Not at all.
I merely applied my usual rigorous analysis to the situation and determined that something wasn't right.
Well, you're a better person than me, Mr.
Good night.
(SCOFFING) Smartest man on earth.