Felicity s02e18 Episode Script

Party Lines

Previously on "Felicity" What do you know about that guy Greg? - Two years ago, he was busted for cocaine possession.
- Are you sure? I'm glad you’re back.
So am I.
I know about the cocaine.
I know about the arrest - and I know that she is too good for you.
- Get out of here.
If you hurt her in any way, I'll kill you.
You have no right to go investigating who he is.
That's exactly what you did to me.
That was stupid and irrational and I did that because I was in love with you.
- Thank you so much for doin’ this.
- Sure.
Hold on one second.
One second - What are you doing? - I'm just trying to make you look a little prettier.
- Sean.
- What? OK.
OK, good.
No, you look good.
So that guy from the Independent Film Channel says he wants a little more Felicity.
So that guy from the Independent Film Channel says he wants a little more Ben.
How long's this gonna take? Like you got somewhere else to go.
All right, let's can we just do it? So talk to me about Ben.
Is that what this is gonna be about? Well.
They want a little more of your love life.
Ben isn't part of my love life.
I don't want to talk about Felicity.
Come on.
She she thinks I'm a dick.
Ben's a jerk, OK? - Are you a dick? - Are you a dick? He's immature, and that's what his problem is.
She's judgmental.
She sees things only her way.
I do something 'cause I care about her - and she thinks it's a crime.
- So you care about her? - No.
- I don't want to talk about Ben.
- I don't want to talk about Felicity.
Why? What'd she say about me? Who was Sadie Hawkins, anyway? I think she's a famous feminist maybe.
She was a comic-strip character.
Some ugly chick who chased down a man.
Why, is there a Sadie Hawkins dance? Yeah.
Student council elections are coming up and they're having a fund-raiser on Friday.
I need some milk.
That is so unfair.
'Cause you’re gonna ask Tracy you’re gonna ask Greg, and I have no one.
It's a school dance, OK? There is nothing lamer than a school dance, trust me.
When you guys are juniors, a school dance will seem a lot less important.
He wouldn't have that attitude if someone had asked him.
Um, you were never funny.
Ruby's gonna ask him and I'll be sitting home, eating these cookies and getting fat.
Ruby went to Colorado for a few days to tell her parents that she's pregnant.
God, that sounds like fun.
You know what would be fun? If you two went together.
- What? - What? - Yeah.
- Yeah.
You need a date.
Will you shut up? Truth hurts.
- OK, if you want to.
It's fine.
- Oh, gee, thanks.
No, you know what I mean.
You know what I mean.
Are you guys gonna go? I'll ask Greg if Elena asks Tracy.
I'll ask Tracy if you ask Noel.
- You wanna go? - To a school dance? Noel, come on! - OK, fine.
I'll go.
- No.
You know what? Forget it.
OK, so I'm a terrible bowler.
You might be among the worst bowlers of all time.
Excuse me.
The holes were too big.
Every ball I tried was, like, for a giant.
That's so sad.
You’re making excuses? All I'm saying is, if I would have found the right ball I would've kicked your butt.
this is stupid.
What, me kissing you? Oh, no, no, no, no.
Oh, God What I'm about to ask you.
The student council's having this Sadie Hawkins dance I hope you’re inviting me.
Yeah, I am.
Because there's no one I'd rather go to a really lame school dance with than you.
Actually, there's something I want to ask you, too.
It's sort of related.
Uh I'm gonna run for student council president and I want you to be my campaign manager.
I've never, you know, been in student government or anything like that.
The sit-in.
You were great.
It was just really cool the way you handled that.
Greg has already done so much with his life and it's so obvious Ben's just jealous.
When you and Ben work together it must be just so tense.
No, it's fine.
What? I I don't let him get to me.
Wait a second.
He's running for president? Yes.
Like president of the university? What's his platform drugs, not hugs? You know, you should really stop attacking Greg.
It's starting to get old.
Oh, I'm just saying he's perfect for student council.
What does that mean? It means if you ever looked at a picture of a student council like in a yearbook, they all look like Greg stiff, earnest, losers.
Here's the thing about Greg.
He knows what he wants, and he goes after it.
Yeah, yeah, it worked with you.
Make as much fun as you want.
Greg has some direction in his life.
Oh, unlike me, right? She's right.
I don't know what I'm doing with my life.
What are you gonna do about it? Uh, I made an appointment.
With who? I am very glad that you wanted to do this but the career placement test is just a tool.
- It's not a guarantee of anything.
- Yeah, I understand that.
The results suggest that you’re best suited to be a stockbroker.
- A stockbroker? - What, you’re expecting maybe male model? No, I'm just trying to figure out what answers I gave that made me sound like a stockbroker.
Look, I just said, it's not a test.
This is a career assessment instrument.
- It's a tool.
- It's a tool.
And there are other choices.
Now, let's see.
Uh, yes, there's teacher.
Teacher? No.
Can't do that.
Can't deal with kids.
What else? There's tour guide and captain of ship.
Now, that would be interesting to see.
Stockbroker was number one, right? Yeah, I could probably do that.
Want to set up an internship? It’s his first day.
He's reading his book about options preparing to make his first million.
It's just an internship, idiot, all right? Do you have any first-day jitters.
Ben? No, I'm actually getting the hang of it.
It's a lot like gambling.
You know.
Felicity's gonna be really impressed.
- Who cares? - You.
She's not gonna be impressed.
It's not like I'm running for president or anything.
OK, I am running for student council president and I need you to sign my ballot petition.
Oh, my God.
You’re running, too? Why, are you? No, no, no.
Uh, Greg is.
You remember Greg.
Yeah, I'm just sort of working with him but, um, of course, I'll sign yours, too.
Um does Greg have a platform? Um, no, we're just kinda figuring that out.
But, you know, I've been reading all these policies.
It's pretty amazing how much say a council president can have like with affirmative action and all these social programs.
I know, and then there's that whole debate about chalking - Chalking? I didn't read about that.
- Oh, yeah, the administration wants to outlaw writing with chalk on campus streets.
It's completely washable, first of all and mostly just announces school events.
Vote Richard Coad! Vote Richard Coad! Oh, hello, ladies.
Richard Coad.
How are ya? - Richard, what are you doing? - Noel didn't tell ya? I'm runnin' for the highest office in the land.
You? See, that reaction is why I'm runnin'.
- I'm not the obvious guy, am I? - Well, what's your platform? OK, see, there are too many rules in this place, right? I mean, no satellite dishes in the dorm rooms no ferrets, no fun.
- Pizza for everyone? - Oh, yeah, that was Sean's idea.
Free pizza Fridays at the student union.
So do I have your support come election day? - No.
- No.
Really? - Is that money I smell? - Would you get rid of that thing please? What’s up, Gordon Gekko? How was your first day at work? Did you learn about supply and demand.
Makin’ money - No.
I met a really cute kid.
- What? - Hey, buddy.
- Hi, Dad.
I was thinking that you could hang out with Ben for a while.
I've got some meetings.
Steven lives in Connecticut with his mother.
He's down here for a week.
When I get back, we'll get something to eat, OK? I know this is not what you were expecting on your first day but I really appreciate it, Ben, OK? When I get back, we'll talk about the synthetics spread.
I'm really glad you’re here, buddy.
I'll see you later, all right? Have fun.
How's it goin'? Here's a rough draft of my platform and I'll come back after class and we'll talk about it.
You’re against chalking on campus? Yeah, it's a defacement of school property.
You’re against student fees going into university organizations? What about the small ones that don't get that much support? Well, I just think that students should be able to pick the organizations they support.
It shouldn't be mandated by the university.
- Really? - Yeah.
You’re against affirmative action as an admissions policy? Yeah, I think that students should be admitted based on their qualifications.
Oh, good, you’re here.
Hey, Meghan.
Listen I was thinking about bringing a sign or something to the meet-the-candidates rally on Thursday.
- If you needed something like that.
- Well, that'd be great.
Why don't you talk to Felicity about that? She's my campaign manager.
What? - Yeah.
Uh, I'll see you in a couple of hours, OK? - OK.
Sometimes I want to kill you in your sleep.
I do like Greg.
Even though you completely disagree with every single thing he believes in? No, don't put words in my mouth.
That's really annoying.
You explain it.
Well, yeah, that's pretty much what it is.
That's a disaster.
Tell me about it.
You, uh do you want to do a card trick? Here.
Pick pick a card.
That card.
Now memorize it.
Put it back in anywhere you want.
Now, what I want you to do, is I want you to think about it.
Just keep concentrating on it, all right? You got it? You thinkin' about it? All right.
Keep thinkin' about it.
Is this your card? No.
No? Right, right, right, right, right, right.
I did this at a bar once.
It worked then, but it's not working now.
Hey, how's it goin', guys? Uh, good.
Look, uh, I know you’re here to learn trading and I swear we'll get to that, but I have another favor first.
You like Beethoven? His dad gave me these tickets to this concert.
He says Steven's, like, this piano prodigy or something.
Did I ever tell you about the keyboard that I invented for the people that only have one hand? - Yes.
- Oh.
I mean, l l I don't know what I was thinking taking a career-counseling test.
I suck at tests.
Did you tell Felicity about the internship? No, I haven't told her.
What am I gonna tell her that I'm a baby-sitter? Oh, by the way, I'm not gonna be here tomorrow.
I got an internship, a guy on Wall Street, actually.
That's good.
- Tell me why I should vote for Greg.
- You’re not going to vote for Greg.
No, you’re right, I'm not going to.
But, uh, come on, just give me one of his campaign promises.
I'm not gonna stand here and listen to you mock Greg.
No, I'm serious.
You’re working with him now.
You’re running his campaign.
Hit me with one of his great ideas because, you know, maybe I'll vote for him.
'Cause right now, Richard's got me with his whole pizza gimmick.
You would vote pizza for president.
Come on, just give me one of his ideas.
Well, he wants to bring the swim team back.
Very funny.
- Oh.
- Hey, Pam.
Someone over there that actually wants to talk to me, so Hey.
Did you.
Did you get my message? Yeah, yeah, that's actually why I'm here.
So, what are you doing on Friday? Nothin’ 'Cause there's this thing at Reiseman So you’re not going to the dance after all? Well, Pam asked me.
Pam asked you to the dance? Yeah.
I said yes.
Ho ho.
So you’re into her? Oh, she's just a girl.
Come on.
Your best memory of Ben.
All right.
You know how last summer we drove across country together? Um, well, there was this one night we stayed in this really cheesy little motel and we were getting into bed And you had sex.
This is a good story.
- No, we didn't have sex.
- Oh.
We were pulling back the covers and there was this spider Ooh.
Like a big one.
Like this? No, it was this huge spider.
It was so big, and he was gonna catch it and put it outside.
So he went and got a little cup from the bathroom and a magazine caught it and he was about halfway out the door, the spider gets loose starts crawling up his arm, and he spazzes out.
I mean, he's screaming, like dancing.
Ha ha ha! So, he was such a girl about it the manager comes, thinks someone's being killed 'cause he was screaming so loud.
I laughed for two hours.
It was so good.
He's funny.
Look it.
Look at that.
What? Just admit it.
You still have the hots for Ben.
OK, I gave you your story.
The interview's over.
Admit it.
Just once.
Will you just admit it.
Please? Ho ho! That's nice.
There goes my PG-13.
Um, Tracy.
You know that student council fund-raiser on Friday? - Yeah.
- It's a Sadie Hawkins dance.
The girls ask the guys.
You wanna go? Yeah.
Uh do you know Laurie? Lab, sits next desk? well, she'd asked me, like, a while ago, and, uh at first I wasn't sure, but then no one else asked me, so I said yes.
Laurie, huh? Laurie.
She got a B-minus on her o-chem exam.
But I'm sure you guys'll have a great time.
Hey, thank you so much for handing out those fliers.
No problem.
That's what a campaign manager does.
That and tell the candidate when she thinks he's wrong about something.
Something? There are bullet points.
I just thought I'd break it down for you alphabetically.
Uh OK, I'll read your bullet points.
You can vote for the guy or the gal that promises to make the university safer or fill up the coffers.
I'm taking a different tack.
I'm focusing my energy mostly on pizza.
My approach to politics is surprisingly simple.
People always say to me.
Why you? "Why are you running for office?" And I always say to ‘em first of all.
I say "Not Dick.
" 'Cause it's not.
It's Richard.
And there's a difference.
- But secondly.
I say - Hey, what's goin' on? I cannot do this.
What? Are you OK? I can't talk.
Look, just relax.
Just breathe.
This used to happen to me in high school in the debate club.
I just I just get so nervous and l OK, you’re gonna be fine.
Just relax and breathe.
Pizza man! Leila Foster? Elena always tells me to focus.
So just focus.
Leila Foster? Leila Foster? You’re gonna be fine.
You’re gonna be great.
I'm too freaked.
OK, you know what? Then it doesn't matter.
Because this campaign is more than just this speech, right? My parents are out there and I really wanted them to hear this.
Oh, God.
Can you read this? What? Please, Felicity.
It's what you believe anyway.
- I'll go.
- OK.
Um Leila Foster she got sick and, um well.
She lost her voice.
So so, um, anyway, this is this is her speech.
"Look around at everyone here today.
"Each face is different "our background.
Our heritage "As an Asian-American student "I am here today to remind you that we are not that different.
"We're all here to learn, to grow "and to make this university the best it can be.
" "That's why I believe it would be a crime for the university "to repeal affirmative action.
" "Also, as president, I will actively support chalkings "as they are a harmless, creative form of free speech "that should be a right of every student in this room.
" What the hell is she doing up there? "More than anything, I would like to thank the two people "who have taught me how to work well with others.
" "Mom, Dad, would you please stand up?" Felicity was actually pretty good.
Yeah, and it was nice of her parents to come.
Her speech was so better than the rest.
Look, I'm going to a meeting with Professor Mannings.
You going this way? Oh, my God.
What am I doing? I have a class upstairs.
See ya.
- Yeah.
- OK.
Hey, um maybe we should go to that dance together.
I mean, why not? Unless you’ve already asked someone else.
No, I haven't.
But you can't ask me, I have to ask you.
Oh, OK.
OK, do you want to go to the dance? - No, I - Heh.
Yes, I'll go.
Am I insane or did you just deliver a very eloquent speech contradicting my entire platform? Technically, it was Leila contradicting but, um, yes.
Yes, it was me.
I just felt so bad for her.
She was so incredibly nervous and Did you ever read those notes that I gave you? Yes, I did.
And you’re not about to change your position, are you? No.
OK, neither am I.
So, what are you gonna do? I think I'm gonna work with Leila.
You hate me.
You think I'm a traitor, don't you? I love how you think.
Your passion's one of the things that makes me so crazy about you.
Quitting is so great.
Now I don't have to walk around talking about things I don't believe in.
You were so good up there.
- You really cheered me up.
- Really? Yeah.
I guess it was kind of exhilarating.
I mean, I really believe in what Leila said - what I said.
- And Greg is OK with that? He totally understands.
You know, people applauded for that speech.
- Leila really has a chance.
- Yeah.
- Hey.
- I'm droppin' out.
- What?! - I just vomited.
I haven't vomited in three years.
My parents thought you did a really good job.
Leila, you can't drop out.
I know, I thought I could do this but I just hate public speaking.
I don't have it in me but I think you should run.
Seriously, you can't drop out.
Yeah, why don't you run? - Why don't you run? - Because I'm not all Norma Rae caught up in these university politics.
That's you.
Me? You and Leila have the same platform.
I'd vote for you.
Me? Will you stop saying "Me" and run? - Who is it? - Tracy.
The answer's yes.
What's the question? The dance.
You said you wanted to go with me.
I'm accepting.
What about Laurie? I told her I had other plans.
You can't just do that, not even to a B-minus Laurie.
It's just rude.
Look, OK? I think it's pretty nice.
I mean, I could have told her an hour before the dance or I could have gone to the dance with her where she would've fallen in love with me because, you know, a brother's just so fine that You need to call her right now and tell her that you’re going together.
OK, I'm not going to the dance with anyone except you, and that's that.
Well, then you’re not going, because I'm not asking.
You see, we girls, we have a code.
We don't just ask some other girl's guy.
But you already did ask me.
Well, that invitation has expired.
Oh, you asked someone else? No, I didn't ask someone else.
Then we're going.
No, you’re going home.
Right now.
I gotta study.
You know, for someone who likes me so much I sure am getting kicked out of this apartment a lot.
A whole lot.
And that's wrong.
Before I go, I just got one more thing to say.
Lookin' good.
I just happen to know some people around here so I managed to score us some free pastries.
I'm allergic to dried fruit.
You want a muffin? I'll go get you a muffin.
I'm not hungry.
So, your dad seems like a pretty cool guy.
What? You’re the worst baby-sitter I've ever had.
Well, you’re the worst kid I ever met.
What's your problem? What do you want to do? Not go to a lame piano concert.
But you love piano.
What are you talking about? I quit piano a year ago.
- Let's get outta here.
- I said I don't want to go.
- We're not going to the concert.
- Where are we going? Would you just come with me? Come on.
You want to try? No? You don't want to try? You don't have to.
Do you want to try? * Like a perfect wave.
You came along and saved me * All right, that's OK.
That's good.
Why don't you take a step closer and come up to that orange line right there? And here, before you shoot, just bend your knees a bit, OK? So the arc is higher.
All right? That's a really good shot.
That's a really good shot.
Just keep doin' that, all right? So, uh, where does your dad live? Uh, my dad lives in California far, far away.
Do you see him much? No, hardly ever.
Yeah, me, either.
I think my dad works too much.
Yeah, mine, too.
So, can you dunk? Yeah, I can dunk.
I just don't want to I don't wanna break these rims.
'Cause I'm a pretty strong guy.
Try it again.
Bend those knees.
* And then sleep * * Happily at night * * You taught me more about myself * * Than anybody else * * And I know one thing is true * * That.
Baby * Hi, yeah, uh, can someone still register as a candidate for student council president or is it too late? Really? No, that's great.
Uh, yeah, 200 signatures.
I know.
I need some help.
What happened? We were playing basketball.
I think he broke his finger.
Yeah, hang on.
Just a second.
Hey, Greg Listen, everything's gonna be all right.
I have some friends here.
Everything's gonna be fine, OK? - What's up? - He hurt his finger.
We only admit students here.
Take him to the hospital.
We were right around the corner.
He's in a lot of pain.
Please, just pretend he's a little freshman.
Just take a look at him and make sure it's not broken, please? No, please.
Ow! That hurts.
Steven, I'm gonna have to reset your finger, OK? Steven, listen to me for a second, OK? This happens to basketball players all the time.
Do you know who Shaquille O'Neal is? This happens to him every day.
It's a badge of honor thing.
- I don't know what that means.
- It means that you’re a real athlete.
This happened to me once.
My coach told me to think of the food that I hated the most.
What food do you hate the most? Brussels sprouts.
How sick, how gross are Brussels sprouts? Actually, I kinda like’em.
OK, well, what else do you hate? Peas.
All right.
OK, peas.
So, on the count of three I want you to scream.
"Peas!" Can you do that? OK.
All right.
Here we go.
One two, three.
- Peas! - Peas! Oh! Ow! Ow.
That hurt! OK.
That's OK.
It's done.
It's all done.
Keep that straight.
Could you call radiology? - We need to x-ray this immediately.
- Yeah.
Yeah, no problem.
That's great.
You did real good.
You did real good.
I'd never seen Ben like that.
Like what? Just how he was with that little boy.
It just reminded me of Of what? Nothing.
So how is this gonna work? How much is this gonna cost? I'm sure Greg won't charge you.
No? So how's his, uh, how's his campaign goin'? I'm actually not working on Greg's campaign anymore.
we didn't exactly agree on every issue.
I'm actually considering running myself which I know is ridiculous.
- Why is that ridiculous? - Stop.
I know how you feel about student politics.
Anyway, I'd have to get to sign my ballot petition by next week which is basically impossible.
So, what? You’re not gonna run 'cause you need some signatures? I mean, I really think you should do it.
I think you’d be great.
You really have this way of making people want to try harder.
- Come on.
- I'm serious.
You were really amazing with him in there.
I mean it.
Well, I'll let you tell his dad.
But, seriously, if you do run, I'll sign your petition.
Yeah? Yeah, and then you’ll only have, like, 199 more.
I guess that's not so many.
Basketball? Yeah, I know it was a stupid thing to do.
I know.
I'm sorry.
But we got it x-rayed.
It's not broken.
Does it hurt? Not anymore.
Not really.
Your mother's gonna throw a fit.
Well, it'll get you out of piano practice for a few weeks.
Dad, I quit piano.
Yeah? Yeah.
So what next? I don't know.
I was thinking and this this might be stupid.
It's not like the big idea or anything.
Maybe an afterschool program um coaching a kids' basketball team.
Does the university have a program like that, or I'll check into it.
That'd be great.
- Hi.
- Hey.
Do you want to help me with these? They all need insurance codes.
Thank you for taking care of Steven.
That was really great of you.
Of course.
I just, uh I hope no one finds out about it.
I think I might run for student council president.
What? Leila dropped out.
She quit, and you know how you said I was passionate about her ideas? That's because they're my ideas, too.
- I didn't think that you wanted to run.
- Well, I didn't, initially.
But then after that speech and then what you said to me - and what other people said - Other people? Uh, who? Ben? I think I'd be good at it.
You’d be great at it.
That's not the point.
- So you have a problem with this.
- Yes, I have a problem with this.
Why wasn't it a problem when I was helping Leila out? It was, but I was trying to be fair and understanding and now you’ve responded by deciding to run against me.
It's just student government.
I mean, it's not like it's a big deal.
If it's not a big deal, then don't run.
It is something that I really want to do.
You know, I risked my job seeing that kid because of you.
Don't do that.
Don't turn the right thing to do into a favor for me.
All right.
Do whatever you want.
So you and Greg got in a big fight.
You wanna tell us about that? - Not really.
- Was it about Ben? No, and it wasn't a big fight.
They got into a huge fight.
They're not going to the dance together.
I don't care.
Are you and Felicity gonna be dancing together tonight? I'm going to the dance with Pam.
He's going with Pam? Yeah.
But he's totally not into her.
You know that.
Right? What did they get in a fight about? Was it about the fact that you betrayed him and now you’re running against him? I didn't betray Greg.
Are we done?’Cause I gotta go.
Can I go with you tonight? I want to get it on film when you guys get back together.
Well, that's not gonna happen.
Felicity and I are not getting together.
Where are you going? Oh, uh to the dance.
You are? With who? - Julie.
- Excuse me? I thought you two decided not to go.
Well, we weren't going to, but then we changed our minds.
It would have been nice if somebody'd told me.
- Hello.
- Hey.
You ready? Yeah, yeah.
Let's, uh - Hi.
- Hi.
Now I'm the only one that's not going.
Call Tracy.
No way.
I have my pride.
Well, then, we're gonna we'll see you later.
Hold on.
It's Elena.
What is that supposed to mean? Yes, I'm calling about the dance.
Screw the girls’ code.
Half an hour? That boy is wrapped around my finger.
Give me a second.
See? We're not late.
Let's go check out the food and beverage situation see if there's anything left.
So, you wanna dance? Oh, God.
Maybe in a minute.
- You wanna just scope it out, see who's here? - Yeah.
That sounds a little safer.
- Hey.
- Hey! How's Steven doing? Oh, he's good.
Yeah, he's fine.
Where's Greg? Oh, l I came alone.
Why? Where is where is Pam? Um, Pam's talkin' to her roommate.
So, um, it looks like I'm gonna need that signature.
Yeah? That's great.
That really is.
Thank you for your encouragement 'cause it just kinda pushed me over the edge.
Sorry about that.
Terry's in love and needed to talk about it.
- Hey.
- Hi.
- Do you wanna dance? - Yeah.
- Are you - Oh, yeah.
Go dance.
They're playin' a slow one.
Now I feel like I'm at the prom, and there's no curfew.
Well, let's take a break.
No, no! A break? No.
You don't want to dance with me? You don't want to slow dance with me? You know what? You are too much, OK? But you wanna Yeah.
Oh, God.
It's painful, how much you like me.
You wish.
Ha ha ha! Here you go.
Free pizza, everybody.
That's me Richard Coad.
Richard Coad, yeah, means free pizza.
Everybody, you like to boogie? Heh heh heh.
Enjoy the pizza.
There's plenty more.
Come on.
Yeah! I'm glad you’re running.
No, you’re not.
No, I am.
I overreacted and I realized I wouldn't feel like a real winner unless I beat the toughest competition.
So you, uh, think you’re gonna win, huh? I think I'm gonna kick your butt.
All right, look, we've circled this place three times.
We've hit every table of bad food.
OK, you want to dance? - Yeah.
- OK.
- Finally.
- Let's dance.
All right.
I hope we look better than them.
Slow dancing.
* To make this truth into a lie * * And I don’t want * * To try * * There's nowhere I can run * * From you * * Still laying down what was never mine * * And letting go * * Into the divine *