Final Space (2018) s01e04 Episode Script

Chapter 4

1 Get ready to turn your brains to viewing mode because, previously on "Final Space," Gary just received a Mayday call for none other than Quinn, the super-spicy captain he hasn't stopped thinking about for the past five years.
What a loser! Ha ha ha! Oh, and Quinn is on the run from the Infinity Guard? Whoa! We've had our fun.
Get ready to have yours.
[Music.]
H.
U.
E.
: Gary, you have six minutes of oxygen left.
Gary: It can't be.
What are you doing, Gary? What do you think I'm doing? I'm gonna consume its power.
But opening your helmet will blow out your internals, inducing instantaneous death.
That's one possible outcome.
Another, I eat the cookie, and its power turns me into a majestic space-breathing manticore.
You will die before you eat the cookie.
I'm pretty sure I could get it in there before I die.
- That is not possible, Gary.
- I really think I can do it.
I'm gonna lob it right in and close the helmet super fast.
You can't, Gary.
No lobbing, no closing, no cookie.
[Sighs.]
[Music.]
[Title music.]
1x04 - Chapter Four Quinn: Mayday, Mayday! My name is Quinn Airgone, a captain in the Infinity Guard.
I've been investigating a gravitational disturbance, which I now see is a breach in space.
Many people are dead, and I'm about to join them unless [Beeping.]
Aah! Is there not a single idiot that can hear me?! I can hear her.
The greatest love story in the history of the universe is about to blossom forth.
Yo, dude, just keep the expectations in check.
Quinn hasn't responded to a single message of yours in five years.
- People get busy.
I'm busy.
- For five years? 4 years, 11 months and 30 days.
- That's five years, bro.
- Maybe it is.
Maybe it isn't.
- It is.
- But it could not be.
H.
U.
E.
: Disabled transporter is now locked in.
Dispatching Sames to secure Quinn.
Over my hard nipples, H.
U.
E.
! If anyone is saving Quinn, it's me, the captain.
Gary, for what is the 9,045th time, - you are still a prisoner.
- I disagree.
As soon as the crap hit the interstellar fan, I became the captain for real.
Calculating no.
Calculating, yes.
I will use those powers to rescue Quinn.
One week has been added to your sentence.
Frickin' what what w what's new, H.
U.
E.
? What's new? Now, before I risk my life for the woman I love, does anyone perchance have a breath mint? - Right here, Gary.
- Ach! Oh! God, no, I'm killing my best friend! Let KVN get it.
I can do it.
I'm close.
It's right there.
Whoa, KVN, stay away, far away from me forever! Oh, my God! Ugh! [Music.]
Aah! [Music.]
[Beeping.]
Gary: Commencing rescue.
Commencing destiny.
[Music.]
[Music.]
Nice work.
I need to commandeer your ship.
I have a class-three priority.
Quinn, you look every bit as spicy as the last time I saw you.
- Great, and you are again? - Oh-ho-ho! How I've missed your razor-sharp wit.
No, seriously, I have no idea who you are.
- Really? - You resemble no one - I know, so, yeah, really.
- Seriously? - Seriously.
- Oh, dear Lord, you're suffering from amnesia! I'm suffering from an emergency that's going to destroy Earth.
[Laughs.]
Quinn, you really expect me to believe you don't know who I am? Hold on.
I know how to fix this.
[Smacks lips.]
This is the real raw Gary.
[Laughs.]
That didn't fix it, whoever you are.
What a dagger to the heart.
I'm the guy who, for the past five years, has been sending daily documentaries to the woman who has no idea who I am! Wow, that sucks.
I never got any of them.
Now, if you could just show me where the bridge is It's all good.
Life, you know? Hmm, cute guy, but issues, definite issues.
[Crying.]
Quinn doesn't even know who I am! Oh, no! Oh! Oh! Uh! Oh this is not what it's supposed to be.
Oh, God, it hurts so much! Oh, she doesn't even know who I am! I need to record my feelings! Quinn, for future reference, the decent thing would've been to fake amnesia.
I would've faked amnesia.
People I know and love all would've faked amnesia, but you had to be honest.
Name one decent relationship that has ever been built on honesty.
You can't, can you? [Chuckles.]
That's because there aren't any.
I know this doesn't make any sense, [Music.]
but I really needed to talk to somebody right now, and you're the only person I can open my heart wallet to and spend my hurt coins with.
- Jerry? - Oh! Jerry? You don't even know my name.
Avocato, is he all right? - No.
- You know Avocato's name? - Hey, gang.
- Not now, KVN.
Carl, Hank, Orson, Noodles, - can you give me and, uh - Gary.
Gary a minute? Who are you recording that for? Someone who meant quite a lot to me.
I hope she gets to see it one day.
When you're this far out in space, most of that stuff gets lost.
Suppose it does.
What did you come here for? I just wanted to say, "Thank you, Gerald.
" You're welcome.
Gerald? Is his name Gerald? Was he lying to us this whole time? I'm confused.
Maybe Gerald is a nickname.
Maybe his last name is Gerald.
Help me to understand, Gerald, Gary, Gerald.
SAMES: This ship has been seized by the authority of the Infinity Guard.
Carl, not right now.
I've had a bad day.
I am really not in the mood for a hug, Carl.
Carl, that's enough.
I'm fine.
Get away from me! Bad Carl! Bad Carl! Bad Carl! H.
U.
E.
Emergency.
Our power reactor has been drained.
The Galaxy I is immobilized.
A takeover command has been uploaded into my system.
I am fighting it, but it will succeed.
- Okay.
Uh.
- It's the Infinity Guard.
We've been hacked.
For some reason, they're trying to shut down my investigation.
- What a bunch of nerds.
- They're after me.
- You? Why? You're perfect.
- Where do I start? The Earth is being sucked into a black hole.
I went rogue, stole a ship, evaded arrest, and if I don't get off this ship, everyone dies.
You sly fox.
[Grunts.]
Jelly! Hey! Oh, my gosh.
Okay.
Sorry, sorry.
I meant, "You icy minx.
" Oh, I'm bleeding! I'm bleeding.
Sorry, I meant, "Danger panda?" Oh! We're flirting! We're flirting! This is great! This is a good advancement in our relationship! Oh! Oh, my gosh! Okay.
Okay.
We're done flirting.
We're not flirting, [Chuckles.]
just like old times.
Trust me.
This is just the start.
An Imperium cruiser will be on the way to seize the ship.
Well, welcome aboard.
Like we needed more danger.
Now we're just stuck here until the Infinity Guard captures us.
How do we get this choo-choo train back to Safetytown? Theoretically, we could harness the solar rays from that dying star, but it is highly unstable.
We've got to get out of here.
I could space-vault close enough to it with a VX-1 light-matter pump, mine it and restart the reactor core.
- [Laughs.]
I'll do it.
- I'll do it.
I'll save you again.
[Laughs.]
- No way.
- Yes way.
- You? No, no, no, me.
- Me! No, not - No, me.
- I I will do it.
Then you will know who Gary Goodspeed is.
Don't worry.
I do this all the ti-i-i-i-i-me.
He does do that all the time.
I'm gonna save the ship.
I'm gonna save Quinn.
I'm gonna harness the crap out of destiny.
Mooncake, let's do this! Chuck, chuck, chuck, chuck, woo-hoo! Play the good stuff, H.
U.
E.
You're a go for thrusters.
[Music.]
Spend a year out in the desert Spend a year out to sea Spend the nights under the stars Just been asleep - # Asked a question # - What is that?! where I've been The star is surrounded by a graveyard of destroyed vessels.
Thank you for the heads-up, H.
U.
E.
What you are seeing, Gary, is the remains of the Scarlet Lance and its fleet.
Thousands of souls were lost.
And it's messy.
We got that part, H.
U.
E.
It's a mess all over here.
There, over there, right here, especially right here, everywhere, it's a mess.
Mooncake: Jokahee.
Hurry, Gary.
The star is about to implode.
Go on down We're cooking, H.
U.
E.
[Music.]
Power is being received.
The Sames are cutting through.
H.
U.
E.
system is overrun.
You are all now prisoners of the Infinity Guard.
An Imperium will be here shortly to seize you.
H.
U.
E.
: [Distorted.]
I'm sorry.
[Music.]
[beeping.]
Whatcha doing? Not much, you know, mostly being imprisoned.
- You look like crap.
- Shut up! You always look like crap, but right now, like, you look like if crap built a house on crap.
Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! Ah, come on! [Laughs evilly.]
Enjoy.
[Music.]
H.
U.
E.
: Sames, apprehend the targets.
Use all force necessary.
It is only a matter of time before we break in.
Surrender now.
If we can get into H.
U.
E.
's mainframe, we can regain control of the ship.
Ugh, the Sames are blocking our way out.
- That's our way out.
- Hey, guys, I can disable H.
U.
E.
We need to send the best person for the job.
- I accept.
- I have a key in my butthole.
I was thinking of me.
That's funny because I was thinking of me.
I can do it.
Embrace the KVN.
You're not even part of the Infinity Guard.
You're the reason we're even in this mess, and I'm the reason we're going to get out of it.
- Got that, baby? - Don't call me "baby.
" Wish me luck, guys.
- KVN! KVN! - KVN! KVN! [Chanting.]
KVN! KVN! KVN! [Music.]
Captain's log 5397 We have found a life-form small in size.
The doctors tell me it's unlike anything they have ever seen.
We're calling it E351.
- Captain, we're being hailed.
- Link it through.
Lord Commander: Hello.
You found something I have been searching for.
- Hand it over! - Man: Captain, they're logging onto our fleet.
Prepare the lightfold engines! - Sir, they're firing! - Evasive Gah! [Music.]
Chocli? Wherever you go, death follows, and it will make its way to Gary.
[Whimpers.]
It's getting pretty hot out here, H.
U.
E.
H.
U.
E.
! H.
U.
E.
? Can you hear me? H.
U.
E.
? Avocato? Quinn? Anybody?! KVN? All right.
Time to head back before this star implodes.
Where's Mooncake? Mooncake! Man #2: Gary.
Why is there a caterpillar out here? What brings you, noble creature, so close to my face? Wait.
Why am I talking to a caterpillar? It's obvious.
I'm hallucinating.
Aah! Huh! [Music.]
How's my boy doing? - Great.
- Dad? That's unsettling.
Woman: The new Imperium T-3 Cruiser will bridge us to the next galaxy, and the countdown has begun.
10 Hey, you want to watch the launch outside? - 9 - You bet! 7, 6, 5 - Dad! - Keep your eyes open.
It'll be taking off right over there.
3, 2, 1.
- One day, I'm gonna do that.
- You are, huh? Yeah, I'm gonna have a whole bunch of adventures.
- A whole bunch? - Bunches and bunches.
Why are you showing this to me? Answer me, you drug-dealer caterpillar! Ohhhh! I remember this.
- Son - I could come with you.
There's nothing more in the world that I would want, but not this time, little buddy.
I have to do this one alone.
You won't understand, but know that I'm doing this for you.
- Can you make me a promise? - Yeah.
Promise me you'll have your own adventures.
- I will.
- Bunches and bunches.
Here, this fellow will look after you while I'm gone.
- What's his name? - Mooncake.
[Music.]
[Beeping.]
H.
U.
E.
: KVN, I know what you're trying to do, KVN.
Every attempt to disable me will fail because you are a loser.
Can't talk, H.
U.
E.
I have to insert this thingy in you.
Huh! I will not let that insertion happen.
[Music.]
This is your last chance to cease all action.
Stop.
Ugh! No one believes in you.
Go back, you waste of life.
Quinn: Hurry, KVN! [Lasers firing.]
[Music.]
[Music.]
[Grunting.]
Oh, ah, ooh.
[Grunts.]
[Music.]
Booting back up.
All systems now independent of the Infinity Guard network.
Aah! Aah! Aah.
KVN is victorious! KVN did it! Good job, KVN.
Gary is never going to believe this.
Systems have been reactivated.
Hello.
Nice to have you back, H.
U.
E.
Nice to be back.
Sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but we're still in extreme danger.
Those dickheads from the Infinity Guard found us, and Gary is not responding.
Gary, where are you? Your radiation levels are becoming critical.
You must leave now.
[Beeping.]
Woman: John Goodspeed is on a mission to investigate a shift in the gravitational constant that's creating an anomaly in space.
- Don't make me watch this.
- You have to.
[Music.]
Dad! [Music.]
[Sighs.]
[Music.]
[Sizzling.]
H.
U.
E.
: Warning, warning, radiation levels have reached 92%.
Chookit, pah, pah.
Gary, return to the ship immediately.
[Alarm beeping.]
I am detecting massive fluctuations in the star.
H.
U.
E.
, prime the lightfold engines.
- What about Gary? - We don't have the time.
If the Infinity Guard catches me, billions of people die.
- I like Jerry.
- Gary! Right, Gary.
I don't want to leave him, but this is bigger than one person.
Radiation levels have now reached 98%.
Wake up, Gary.
The star could explode at any moment.
Gary, we need you to get back to the ship now! Gary, the star is going supernova.
Avocato: Gary, wake the hell up, man.
Get back to the ship pronto.
- Come on.
- Oh, my gram! Go faster! Go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go! Oh! Oh, oh! This is troubling! Oh, no! No! Oh! Oh! [Screams.]
- He won't make it in time.
- Yes, he will.
Sorry, Quinn.
We wait for Gary.
All right.
We wait for Gary.
Man #3: Galaxy I, prepare to be boarded.
Open the freaking door! [Music.]
Lightfold the ship, H.
U.
E.
! DON'T MISS AFTER EPISODE [Beeps.]
It works.
Dad, these are my coordinates.
Come find me, I mean, at your leisure, but, like, for me, preferably fast.
That'd be great.
Dad, these are my coordinates.
Come find me, I mean, at your leisure, but, like, for me, preferably fast.
That'd be great.
[Music.]
Who reverse-hacked H.
U.
E.
and the Sames again? - I did.
- Right, you keep saying that, except there's just [Chuckles.]
no way that's possible.
Oh, yeah.
He's truth in' it.
So what can you tell me about this gravitational disturbance? Why do you want to know? I think my dad has something to do with it.
- Wait, who's your dad? - John Goodspeed.
Your dad was John Goodspeed? Now I remember! Five years ago, you're the guy who kept asking me for a drink, then blew up 92 Imperium Cruisers and a small Mexican family restaurant! Yes, yes, yes! That's me! - You do remember me! - I do.
Now get that finger out of my face, or I'll snap it off.
I like how you speak words.
[Finger snaps.]
Aah! NEXT WEEK "INSIDE THE EPISODE"