For the People (2018) s02e03 Episode Script
Minimum Continuing Legal Education
1 Previously on "For the People" - Who are you? - Ted.
Ted is our new investigator.
Good win for Ms.
Littlejohn, Mr.
Knox, and oops, one loss from Oh, and here he is now.
This is Leonard Knox's old office.
Unfortunately, it didn't come with his case load.
Roger brought me back to work on the Julian Sarco case.
- He called you back from Texas? - Yes.
I'm right here.
Right not in Texas.
And he brings you back? [INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS.]
[SIGHS.]
Oliver! Let's go.
Now! Petrini crime family.
Do you know them? Personally? Violent and Organized Crime Unit has been trying to build a RICO case against the Petrini family for two years, getting nowhere, and then suddenly, last night, Angelo Petrini, nephew of boss Gaetano Petrini, walks into a field office on 23rd Street, and he is singing.
This has the potential to be the biggest prosecution in this office in years.
Do you need me to help you find Kate? - No No.
Listen.
- Leonard? Oliver, I need you on this.
I know I give you a hard time.
It's 'cause I want you to be the best, and I know you can be the best.
There's nobody more valuable in this office.
Nobody I have more confidence in.
Nobody I trust more.
You are gonna take this family down.
- [CHUCKLES.]
- Okay? You! - Give me the music.
- What? [SINGS "THE GODFATHER" THEME.]
- No - Right now! Come on.
"The Godfather"! Give it to me! [SINGS "THE GODFATHER" THEME QUIETLY.]
Louder! [SINGS LOUDER.]
Louder! Louder! [SINGS EVEN LOUDER.]
[SINGING TOGETHER.]
[HUMMING.]
PARALEGAL: Sounds pretty good.
Is that "Avatar"? Can you just leave? [SIGHS.]
Knox! [SIGHS.]
[ELEVATOR BELL DINGS.]
Oh, Jenn.
I'm sorry.
[SIGHS.]
The coffee upstairs, ugh, I'm sure you won't miss that.
[SCOFFS.]
[ELEVATOR BELL DINGS.]
[ELEVATOR DOORS OPEN.]
[ELEVATOR BELL DINGS.]
MIRA: First time on the 11th floor? SETH: Unless you count the elevator.
But I know this is where the action is - This is Asset Forfeiture.
- Exactly.
And I just wanted to say, if there's ever an opening There is, actually.
Right now.
Right now? Wow! Okay.
Well, that's, uh, great timing.
Vulture! I I didn't know You're in General Crimes, right? Roger Gunn.
Amazing experience.
Roger is such an incredible mentor - He's the devil.
- He is.
You need five trials to move out of General Crimes into a more senior unit.
Do you have five trials? More or less.
- More or less? - Yes.
More? Or less? Yes.
You seem a little desperate.
I like that.
You also seem to have issues with Roger Gunn.
I like that, too.
If you can get yourself another trial, I can move this along.
Well.
I have a trial in the pipeline, so I will be seizing your assets very soon.
[CLEARS THROAT.]
[ELEVATOR BELL DINGS.]
Uh, 1, please.
20's fine.
Punctured a lung, cracked his spine, grade-three concussion.
- His wife's seven months pregnant.
- [ELEVATOR BELL DINGS.]
What happened? ATF agent was assaulted investigating a strip club in Hell's Kitchen.
Thrown down the stairs and hit over the head with a bottle of Cognac.
What kind of strip club serves Cognac? I'm not a strip club guy.
ROGER: I want you to know that everyone in this office considers an attack on one of you an attack on all of us.
We will bring this assailant to justice and we look forward to convicting him at trial.
Trial? No deals on this one, apparently.
You have to go to Roger and tell him you want this case.
I don't want this case.
I know.
I want it.
So why don't you go to Roger and tell him you want this case? How does that make any sense? Well, he likes you now No.
No.
He doesn't.
He doesn't like me.
He doesn't respect me.
And it's never gonna change.
I need to get out of here.
You're gonna leave? We're all gonna leave General Crimes sooner or later.
I just need it to be sooner.
There's an opening in Asset Forfeiture right now.
If I can get a trial, I have a shot at it.
So I need you to go and get me this trial.
Please? Whoo! Bear claw me, baby! Bear claw, right here.
- Is that too big? - SANDRA: Yes.
Allison got a Motion to Suppress, - she gets the bear claw.
- Mm.
Well, I've got a hearing today in the Lindstrom case, and I'm going to crush it.
- There are no pre-emptive bear claws! - Mm.
That's a flagrant violation of the donut code.
Sandra, I need you over at the MCC.
Why are you holding that bear claw? - Oh, I thought - Put it down.
Put it down! Now! What is this? It's a bear claw.
- Ugh.
- I don't like almonds.
[BREATHING HEAVILY.]
Are you okay? This is a kidnapping.
A baby.
I had no idea that there was a baby inside.
You didn't see the car seat? What do I know from car seats? It's dark, the baby's facing the other way it just looked like some sort of bucket thing.
Like maybe a mini-fridge, I don't know.
Rich people always have weird stuff in their cars.
You know, I blame the diamond industry, you know? Two months' salary for an engagement ring? That's crazy town.
I'm not following.
I may have boosted some cars in my past.
I know this guy in Jersey.
He's got this whole operation.
That night, I left my buddy's party, I walked outside, and there's the Audi just sitting there, like it was meant to be, you know, 'cause I want to propose but I don't have the money for it, and like here's the money! Who the hell leaves a baby in a car in the middle of the night? Well, her father said he'd been driving around for hours to help her sleep.
He didn't want to wake her while he ran in for coffee.
Yeah, well, the driving thing worked, man, 'cause that baby was out.
When did you realize she was in the car? When she started crying.
I almost drove off the road.
You didn't think about turning around? Have you ever been in a car with a crying baby? I mean, there was no clarity, lady.
You just want it to stop.
I went to my girl's.
She grew up with a ton of cousins.
She'd know what to do, but she wasn't home.
She picked up an overnight at the IHOP, so I grabbed the kid, the the baby bag, whatever it's called, and I let myself in to wait for her.
And it was just you, the baby, there by yourselves until the police came? I got her to stop crying, you know? I sang her some songs, even followed the directions on the formula can.
I made her a bottle.
[SIGHS.]
How bad could this be for me? If you're convicted of kidnapping and transporting a minor across state lines, you'd definitely be looking at a significant prison term.
But let me talk to the prosecutor, see if I can get it down to just the car, okay? Your Honor, the defendant, Adrian Carpov, is charged with one count of assaulting an officer of the United States, in violation of 18 USC 111 Is not a problem.
Well, maybe we have a different definition of the word "problem.
" Or maybe is not a problem.
Counsel, can you advise Mr.
Carpov to refrain from talking? I can try, Your Honor.
Your Honor, as to bail, given the vicious nature of this assault, we believe Mr.
Carpov is a danger to Your Honor, is there a problem? Mr.
Carpov is the senior officer at the Transnistrian Consulate here in New York.
The what consulate? According to his official accreditation by the U.
S.
Department of State, and pursuant to our bilateral agreement with the Republic of Transnistria, Mr.
Carpov is classified as a diplomatic agent.
Him? Right here? Which means he enjoys complete personal inviolability and immunity from the criminal jurisdiction of his host country.
Which means he cannot be prosecuted or compelled to testify, no matter the offense.
In terms of a trial date There will be no trial, Mr.
Oliver.
Charges are hereby dismissed.
Deputy.
Please release the defendant.
See? Not a problem.
Transnistria.
[LAUGHS.]
I can't even say it.
I cannot even say it.
You know where I grew up? Omaha, on Pine Street, one street over from Walnut Street.
Around the corner from Ak Aks Aksba Aksarb Aksarben Shopping.
Aah! Whatever.
This was my ticket away from Roger Gunn and into Asset Forfeiture.
You hear me? That wasn't rhetorical.
Do you hear me? Kate? Kate.
Kate! I need your help here.
Can it wait 20 hours? You mean 20 minutes? Hours.
My bank robbery case just settled, so I'm trying to use this little window to get a jump on my 24 hours of Minimum Continuing Legal Education.
This is a lecture on commercial vehicle litigation.
Pretty interesting, actually Your MCLE isn't due for two years! Is there a better use of my time right now? Yes.
Helping me! I helped you! I got you this case! And now you need to help me keep it.
Do you know why Carpov was at that strip club? Strippers.
- Yes, maybe.
And Cognac.
- Both pungent.
The owner stocks rare bottles of Cognac, because Carpov and his friends will spend $1,000 on a single glass.
Which he can afford, because he's never had to pay 118 parking tickets.
New York parking laws can be tricky.
Whose side are you on? This isn't about sides, Seth.
It's about getting you to leave.
Drop it.
Find another trial.
You know how hard it is to find a case that actually goes to trial.
And then remember, we're talking about me.
And this guy attacked an ATF agent! So, no.
I'm not gonna drop this.
I'm going to trial! - What? - Trial! You don't want to go to trial on this.
I'm happy to go to trial.
He was trying to steal a car He did steal a car.
The kidnapping was an accident.
He didn't know the baby was in there.
There was no ransom demand He was caught before he had the chance to make a demand.
What are you offering? Nothing.
There's a mandatory minimum of 20 years, plus he has to register as a sex offender for the rest of his life.
- A sex offender? - It's mandatory.
But there is no evidence There is a presumption when you kidnap a child.
This wasn't a kidnapping.
You keep saying that, but your client stole a car with a baby in the back.
The windows weren't tinted.
He had the baby for two hours.
He was found inside an apartment in another state with the baby in his arms.
If you think it's something else, then show me.
Otherwise, it's 20 years, whether or not we go to trial.
Carpov? I gave that to Littlejohn.
- She gave it to me.
- I don't know.
Maybe she was overwhelmed by it.
But I am ready to take this to trial.
Well, nobody wants to see this guy go down more than me.
But Transnistria has to waive Carpov's immunity in order for us to press charges, and they have no incentive to do that.
I think we have a shot.
This isn't the first time this guy broke the law.
He has an extensive criminal history assault, DUIs, gambling.
You set a meeting with State, Justice, and the Transnistrian Ambassador, I'll get them to waive immunity.
No.
- Sir - No.
Now, I have 25 poorly drafted indictments to mark up.
I do not have time for this.
- What if I mark up the indictments? - What? Clean them up so all you have to do is sign your name.
You'll get back an extra 10 hours a week to do whatever you want.
And not just those everything that comes in for the next two months, I'll do them all.
You really want this trial, don't you? I really, really do.
I lost.
We lose.
That's what we do.
It's because my route was blocked.
- What? - Construction on my route, the one I take to hearings every time.
Don't tell me you're one of those lawyers who believe the same filet of sea bass served by the same waiter at the same table has anything to do with your success in a courtroom.
Of course not, that's ridiculous.
But if I can't take my route, I might as well go back to spinning signs outside Mattress King.
You're a lawyer, not a hobgoblin.
You have no routines whatsoever? Yes, I do.
I move my chair in.
I turn on the light.
I work.
How exactly do you push your chair in? With my hands.
I can't have this conversation, because I have a sentencing in the morning.
I'm going to court in the morning, too.
Can I try your route? You mean walk with me to court? Is there a place you consider a starting point? My bed.
Don't even.
9:00 sharp.
You know about foreign policy meetings, right? My mom is on the Senate Foreign Relations Committee.
- Yes.
- Okay, cool.
[QUIETLY.]
I have this case involving diplomatic immunity.
Why are you whispering? I don't know.
Just feels like, you know, spies and stuff.
[NORMAL VOICE.]
I have a meeting with the State Department, Main Justice, and the ambassador of a foreign country - Which country? - Doesn't matter.
An important one.
- Transnistria.
- That's a country? - Do you have any advice? - My advice is that the guy who thinks the Grand Canyon is exotic travel shouldn't be in this meeting.
Never made it to the Grand Canyon.
I need this meeting.
I need this trial.
If this goes to trial, I can move down to Asset Forfeiture.
Whoa.
Hold up.
You nail this meeting and I get my office back? Okay.
[SNAPS FINGERS.]
Sit down.
You are going to dominate this meeting, which requires true gamesmanship.
So you are getting my best strategic wisdom.
Yes, great.
Okay.
Bring handouts.
That's your big move? Handouts? You're sitting down with bureaucrats, government drones, who schedule meetings at 15-minute increments, 10 hours a day, no time to think let alone prepare.
You put your strongest argument on paper, you staple it, and hand it out to everyone in that room, it doesn't matter what they want that meeting to be about.
Your handouts drive the agenda.
Handouts.
Never fails.
Madame Ambassador, my name is Roger Gunn.
This is Assistant Attorney General Hodder, and you know Assistant Secretary of State Clive Carrick.
Uh, we're here Who is that? He works in my office.
What are you doing? [WHISPERS.]
Driving the agenda.
Madame Ambassador, as you know, we are humbly requesting Transnistria to waive immunity for Mr.
Adrian Carpov.
We understand this is an exceptional request, but these are exceptional circumstances.
I mean no disrespect to you or your great nation, but Mr.
Carpov has repeatedly and flagrantly violated the norms of civil conduct.
Those are just Mr.
Carpov's reported crimes.
And I hope you don't mind I summarized a history of assaults on page 4, and there's also an overview of the illegal gaming on page 5.
I had no idea.
Thank you for bringing this to our attention.
Of course we'll waive immunity.
Thank you.
Thank you, uh, very much, Madame Ambassador.
ROGER: Congratulations, Oliver.
- Yes, congratulations.
- Thank you.
Way to screw that up in there.
Sorry? They waived immunity.
Of course they waived immunity.
Adrian's crimes are a PR nightmare for Transnistria.
So they say, "Go ahead, prosecute him, knowing we never will.
" But we will.
But we will not.
You will not.
Why not? Adrian Carpov is a genuinely horrible person and a criminal, yes.
But literally on dozens of issues, he advocates for us to his otherwise very anti-American prime minister.
Patent law harmonization, seabird conservation, disposition of looted gold Are we talking about the same guy? When we're one vote short at an international summit, when we need an ally in the Eastern Bloc, Adrian talks to his prime minister and gets it done.
Why does he help us? I don't know.
I think it's because he likes New York and Cognac and strippers and free parking.
And I don't care.
I'm sorry about the ATF agent, I am, but small price to pay.
You care more about the disposition of looted gold than the life of a federal agent? I care about the long-term interests of the United States.
What are you saying exactly? I'm saying we need Adrian Carpov.
I'm saying Adrian Carpov isn't going to jail.
Doesn't matter if Transnistria waives immunity.
You need Washington's approval to charge any diplomat, and we don't approve charges against Adrian Carpov.
Trans nistria? Don't.
Just try to relax.
And that's it? It's over? He attacked me! With Cognac! This is coming down from State.
Justice.
Above all our heads.
If Carpov were anyone else, we'd prosecute him to the fullest extent of the law.
I was gonna try this myself.
I can see how disappointed you are.
I-I I mean, yes.
Yes.
The doctors say the leak in the lining of my lung is healing okay.
It's my neck that's the problem.
They call it an atlantoaxial fracture, high up my spine.
It might never be good as new.
If I can't go back in the field, that's one thing.
But I keep thinking, when the baby comes will I ever be able to toss him a ball? I'm sorry.
My case was just dismissed.
Congratulations.
Thrown out entirely.
I'm happy for you.
As in no more case.
Oh.
Thanks for spelling that out for me.
Your route is magical, like some kind of yellow brick road.
I hate to break it to you, but the road has potholes.
I just got killed in there.
What? You stole Allison's route? Uh, I thought we could share it.
Share it? Don't tell me you believe in these ridiculous superstitions, too.
I believe in the scientific studies that say rituals reduce anxiety, make people perform better.
I believe in my decades of observing, first-hand, what happens when people break those rituals or steal them.
What happens when you steal them? Stephen Somersby.
One of the best litigators in this city.
Never lost a trial in 17 years, all because of the blue ink in a single Bic pen that he carried in his left breast pocket.
Then, one day, his partner, who was on a losing streak, borrows the pen and Well, Stephen's happy making cheese in Vermont.
Just a different life now, you know? I'm on it, Allison.
I will fix this.
[SIGHS.]
I need your help with something.
Sure.
But I can tell you right now this conversation is gonna end with you saying, "I am coming.
" What? My client in this kidnapping case mentioned a car theft ring in New Jersey.
If I can show he was working with them, I might be able to undermine the government's argument - about intent - Waste of time.
It's three guys and a drill, and none of them are willing to talk.
Have you been working this case? - You said you needed my help.
- That was, like, 10 seconds ago.
- I work quickly.
- Why are you working this case? Have you checked out the timeline? Nico was arrested about two hours after the baby was reported missing in Inwood.
But according to your interview notes, he said he stole the car three hours before his arrest.
Now, this is all happening in the wee hours, when people tend to be fuzzy, but we could be looking at a one-hour discrepancy.
You think Nico might be lying? - People lie.
- Where are you going? I'm going up to Inwood.
- I'm coming with you.
- That's not how I work.
That's how I work.
I'm coming.
I.
Am.
Coming.
Damn it.
This ATF agent's really beaten up fractured neck, busted lung.
You told Roger this isn't my case, right? I'm talking about a human being here, who is really injured.
[SIGHS.]
He would have made such a good witness.
- You're just thinking about your trial! - No! I'm thinking about a guy who needs justice and can also move a jury to give it at trial.
- You're horrible.
- You're horrible.
Do you have an estimate for getting out of here? - Oh, so insensitive! - Horrible! What? Oh, you messed this up, didn't you? Yeah, you know, your "handouts" weren't exactly magical.
I knew you'd mess this up.
The handouts are magical! The handouts drive the agenda! The handouts tell people what to think! The handouts! - What are we doing? - SETH: Just wait.
- For what? - Just wait.
Did you know that under New York law, a burrito is considered a sandwich? - Food law.
- New York Times is live.
- ABC News.
HuffPo! - With what? worst abuses of diplomatic immunity in the city's history, a newly leaked report on Adrian Carpov, a consular official from the Republic of Transnistria I called a dozen reporters and gave them copies of the handout.
With all of the abuse, there will be such outrage, it'll be impossible to ignore.
And, since I passed out all of those copies at the meeting, no one will know who leaked it! The handout! I am going to trial.
I am going to Asset Forfeiture.
And you are going to my office.
- Did you tell Roger? - Not yet.
Hmm, you may want to mention it.
I can explain about the handouts.
Leonard Brilliant.
Excuse me? Just got the green light on your prosecution.
With the press on Carpov's crime spree, State and Justice caved.
They would have looked weak if they hadn't.
I thought your handouts were moronic, but they turned out to be a stroke of genius.
This is what I've been trying to tell Leonard.
FBI is gonna make an arrest.
You are gonna avenge that ATF agent.
And I am gonna release you from having to do any more of these mark-ups.
Nice work, Oliver.
TED: That's where Nico stole the car, and that's the bodega where the baby's father grabbed some coffee.
[SIGHS.]
What are you doing? Watching.
Watching what? The neighborhood.
[BREATHES DEEPLY.]
Do you see anything? I see your lips moving.
Oh.
We should get out there, talk to some people.
Do something.
[SIGHS.]
We are doing something.
We're watching, all right? You learn more by watching than talking.
- Did you ever watch "Sesame Street"? - Yes.
- Did you learn anything? - Yes.
Were you talking the whole time? Yes.
I didn't like the bird.
- The bird.
- Freaked me out.
Yes, the bird the you know, the big bird and - You mean Big Bird.
- Yes.
See, now we're talking and not watching when we should be watching.
[SIGHS.]
[SMOKE DETECTOR BEEPING.]
I thought I gave the arson case to Merri.
Jay took my route to the courthouse, and now he thinks that because he won and I lost, I'm "cursed"! You gave up your route? I mean, I let Jay walk with me, but Oh, that's why you got the crazy Harnett sentencing.
I mean, I'd say it was more about a horrible judge And why Jay's case got dismissed! This isn't good.
Am I being pranked today? The last time this happened was Joseph Wadell, the Public Defender before me.
He lost his special tie, and he heard the U.
S.
Attorney had this lucky ritual, so he tried to take it.
- I can't remember - [RINGING.]
Who are you calling? - This is Roger.
- Yeah, you're on speaker.
What did Wadell take from Hammond? Oh, right, yeah.
Uh, Hammond used to work his dog's name - into every closing.
- That's crazy.
Well, it worked for Hammond.
Then Wadell started doing it, and Hammond started losing.
A lot.
Hammond started drinking, Wadell was hit by a train - Okay, we got it.
- Thank you.
I'll admit.
It's disconcerting that so many smart people I respect believe in this stuff.
We've already got the firepower of the federal government against us.
We can't take on an angry universe, too.
I hope he comes up with something.
[CAR DOOR OPENS.]
[GROANS.]
- So? - So? So, I talked to two guys around the corner who said there have been a lot of car thefts in the area, but they don't recall anything from that night.
And I went to the Mister Softee truck, but he wouldn't talk to me unless I bought an ice cream sandwich.
And? Bought an ice cream sandwich, but he didn't have any information.
Okay, cool.
- Seatbelt.
- What? We're done here.
But we didn't turn up anything.
You haven't turned up anything.
You haven't even left the car! I didn't need to leave the car.
You see that doorway right there? 11 people have gone in that doorway since you left, and I would say roughly 11 out of 11 don't live in this neighborhood.
Which means? It's a drug den.
Which means? The dad's a user.
Left his kid in the car, went in, got high, forgot about his baby.
Nico comes by, sees this nice car, jacks it.
Which means? Which means I get the ice cream sandwich.
Still waiting for word on this arrest.
[EXHALES SLOWLY.]
But I just want to say, now that I'll be leaving, I really appreciate your help with this.
And I realize you have your headphones in and aren't listening to a word I'm saying.
But you've been a great friend to me, and I honestly can't imagine [CHUCKLES.]
how I would have done this job without you.
Or your office.
Mr.
Oliver.
I think you want to see this.
- What am I watching? - That's Carpov.
No.
No! What? What? Where's he going? Why are they stopping? REPORTER: fled from the Transnistrian Consulate and taken refuge in the neighboring Cordoban Embassy - Cordoba?! - Really impressive speed.
Why didn't the FBI follow him in? - Why didn't they arrest him? - Can't.
That embassy is basically foreign soil.
The FBI can't set foot in there without permission.
No one can.
If Cordoba grants him diplomatic asylum and given our history with Cordoba, I'm sure they will Carpov can stay in there forever, and we can't get to him.
Here.
Giving these back to you.
I hate the world.
- Cut the power? - No.
- The water? - No.
Those are acts of war.
How did they get Assange out of the Ecuadorian embassy? - He's not out.
- He's not out? It's been, like, six years.
Do you know it's illegal in New York to take a selfie with a tiger? Okay.
Listen.
We sneak in and pull the fire alarm.
How are you gonna sneak into an embassy? I will pose as a pizza delivery man.
Okay.
So, I take the pizza on the porch.
Thank you.
Close the door.
Wait.
See, you don't, 'cause I say, "Sir, excuse me, I am bleeding.
- Do you have a Band-Aid?" - Are you bleeding? Yes, I will cut myself.
- How much blood? - Enough.
A lot.
So you're dripping blood all over the pizzas? No, I don't want the pizzas now.
Goodbye.
Close the door.
Wait, what did you say? It's illegal to take a selfie with a tiger.
Or any large cat That's it.
We get him to take a selfie with a tiger? No way.
I saw "The Hangover.
" Listen, why do people take selfies with tigers? Well, who else is gonna take that picture? They do it because people do stupid stuff for the things they want.
They take huge risks.
So what does Carpov want? Carpov wants - A tiger.
- Ibiza.
Cognac.
Carpov is obsessed with Cognac.
He goes to Cognac tastings all over the world.
Cognac is his Achilles' heel.
So we lure him out with Cognac.
How do we do that? Mm.
Why do I have to be here? I can't walk BB into this place alo.
Dwayne Darnell? Yes? This is Kate Littlejohn.
I'm Seth Oliver.
Too old.
We're from the United States Attorney's Office.
I don't care what the act is.
We're federal prosecutors with the United States Attorney's Office.
We want to talk to you about Adrian Carpov.
Never heard of him.
You know, that sign out front? "Rear Window.
" - It's beautiful.
- Thank you.
Yeah, except those are 4-foot letters.
New York law mandates 39-inch letters for anything hanging more than 4 feet over the street.
Now, that's New York State law, and I'm a federal prosecutor, so I can't do anything about it.
But I can refer it.
Also, your condiments need to be single-serving.
Shall I keep going? What do you want? Adrian Carpov is into Cognac, right? Does a hobby horse have a wooden You know what? Let's just What Cognac is Adrian always talking about? Like, the one.
That if he could taste it, he would die happy? I mean, a Croizet Cuvée Léonie, but that's $150,000 bottle.
It It's impossible to find.
- I've never seen one.
- Yes, you have.
In fact, you have one right now and it's open and he has to taste it.
[SCOFFS.]
You're in here a lot, yes? What? No, I-I've never I'm joking.
I'm joking.
[LAUGHS.]
I've never been in that place in my life.
Not once.
You made up all that stuff about the sign, didn't you? I'm not a strip club girl.
[CHUCKLES.]
This guy's smart.
He'll send a test car, see if we bite.
AGENT: That's our guy.
- FBI! Don't move! - Get on the ground! See? Not a problem.
SANDRA: The baby's father, Gregory Winston, wasn't a weary parent trying to help his child sleep.
He's a high-functioning addict who used his baby as cover so he could leave his house and score drugs.
You have proof of this? Closed-circuit camera from outside the door of the pawn shop across the street.
Car was parked for almost an hour, drives away, presumably when it was stolen, and yet it was another hour before Winston came out and called the police.
Temperatures that night dipped into the low-40s.
A 3-month-old baby, left outside for that length of time, most likely would die of hypothermia.
We also have Nico's Internet search history.
"Where to drop off baby," "give back baby, no questions asked," "safe baby surrender," addresses of nearby fire stations and hospitals Clear evidence of lack of intent.
Nico was trying to figure out how to return the child to her parents.
The kidnapping was a mistake, but he probably saved that baby's life.
I'll need to review this with the investigating agents, but if it holds up, we'll dismiss the kidnapping charges.
He might still face auto theft with the State.
What about the baby? What about the baby? Well, the baby's dad is a user who left her in the car.
Yes, you just told me that.
Are you gonna prosecute the father? If he made a false statement What about the baby? I'm asking about the baby.
That's not our jurisdiction.
Sandra? Why don't we focus on Nico Hold on.
I'm asking you No, you hold on.
Don't raise your voice with me.
That baby is not safe.
What the hell are you doing? Look, I'm trying to protect that child.
We are negotiating a deal for our client.
That is why we are here.
I will talk to her about the child after.
He left his daughter alone in a car, in the middle of the night.
I know what he did.
I know.
- He doesn't deserve to be a father.
- Ted Where will she be the next time he takes a hit? In the bathtub? Face down in her crib? Someone has to protect her.
So it was really all about the handout.
[CHUCKLES.]
Special reserve.
Ah.
Cognac.
From Duane Reade.
Best I could do on short notice.
[CHUCKLES.]
Well done, Oliver.
This has been a crazy ride, so if you want to tag in someone else to try the case No.
No, I'd like to keep it through trial.
Just heard from my mom that Transnistria gave up its seat on the Trans-Atlantic Fisheries Technology Conference.
Which means? - Nothing, probably.
- Exactly.
Well, worst case it means war.
I'm saying worst case.
See, up to this point, we've always convinced Transnistria to vote with the Scandinavian countries on fisheries policy in exchange for Scandinavian votes on ballast water and sediments management.
I'm deep into Maritime Law now.
Only four hours to go.
Anyway, this all matters a lot to China all the shipping and anti-fouling issues do which is how we get China to pressure Russia on the Bunker Oil Pollution Protocol, which gets the whole European Union to help us keep Moldova from attacking Transnistria.
Attacking Transnistria? Maritime law is really complicated, though.
And the lecturer had a thick French accent, so I don't think it's anything to get worked up over.
The important thing is that you're going to trial.
- JAY: I'm still working on a fix.
- ALLISON: I know.
As of now, it looks like we're gonna have to sacrifice a goat here in Foley Square on the new moon.
You'd keep the goat head in your office for three weeks [GASPS.]
Peter! Is that Peter Daum? - Yes.
- The Peter Daum? Yes.
The greatest trial lawyer of his generation Peter Daum? Yes! Peter.
[BOTH CHUCKLE.]
Thank you for coming.
Peter, this is my colleague, Jay Simmons.
Jay, this is Peter Daum.
It's a real honor, sir.
I'm dead, right? But somehow I made it to lawyer heaven, and you are greeting me.
Mr.
Simmons.
You're not dead.
Yet.
But Allison does tell me you're having some trouble with your route.
I'd like to offer mine.
What? I've had the same route here for 47 years, and it's served me well.
But I'm retired now.
I tried my last case two weeks ago - I won - [CHUCKLES.]
And, uh, I well, I don't have any use for it anymore.
If you're interested Yes.
O-Of course.
Thank you! Meet me here at 7:37 tomorrow morning.
On the northwest corner.
You'll need brown shoes, a nickel from 1971, a very small can of sardines.
Do not brush your hair, and do not urinate before leaving your house.
Okay? See you tomorrow.
Bye, Al.
Thanks, Peter! [CHUCKLES.]
How? Old family friend.
It took me a while, but I get it now.
All these superstitions.
We have so little control over what happens to the people we work so hard to protect, and it's so stressful, and it makes sense that everyone is looking for some order to things.
Something that explains this win or justifies that loss.
Something that feels like control over an input and outcome that, in so many ways, for so many reasons, we do not control.
I hope the sardines help.
[LAUGHS.]
Celia dropped the kidnapping charge.
The State's letting Nico plead down to probation.
He is beyond grateful.
Okay.
Celia also arranged a visit to the child's parents by Children's Services.
The dad voluntarily entered a treatment facility, which means the baby can stay in the mother's custody.
Look, I know you've seen me act less than restrained.
I understand.
But what happened today I had a son.
I had a son.
I'm sorry about today.
Oh, child, when you are weary Weary deep down in your soul Protocol on the Suppression of Violence at Airports.
The International Convention on Civil Liability for Oil Pollution Damage.
Are you having the world's nerdiest stroke? The Convention on Early Notification on a Nuclear Accident.
And I, for one, do not want to be notified late.
What are these? They're agreements we made with Transnistria, issues that idiot Carpov helped to sway.
The domino effect of that fisheries thing is just a start.
State thinks they could walk out on a big cyber-terror agreement next, which I'm sure you'll now tell me is the beginning of the apocalypse.
You know that scenario I described? That was just hypothetical.
There's uncertainty in everything we do, in every direction, a cascade of unintended consequences.
You could try this case and start a nuclear war.
Or you could let Carpov go and he could start a nuclear war.
You can only control what you can control.
So focus on that.
What do you want to do? What do you think is right? Whoa, oh, oh, oh-oh Ain't no chain gonna hold you down Ain't no grave gonna hold you now Yesterday done came and gone Ain't it time to bury the bones? Ain't no chain gonna hold you down Whoa, oh-oh, oh Ain't no grave gonna hold you now Mmm Yesterday done came and gone Whoa, oh-oh Ain't it time to bury the bones? Take me down to the river Oh-oh, oh-oh Wash me clean in the water Congratulations.
- I'm not gonna prosecute him.
- What? The State Department is releasing a joint statement with the Transnistrian Ministry of Foreign Affairs as we speak.
Carpov will return to Transnistria for prosecution at home.
They won't prosecute him at home.
Probably not, no.
I'm sorry.
I wanted to prosecute him, but my job is to serve the interests of this government as a whole, complicated and messy and imperfect as they are.
This time that means letting a bad guy go.
Wash me clean in the water I'd be more pissed off if I didn't just hear my spine is looking better.
You're probably doing the right thing.
I better be.
This trial was supposed to get me a job in Asset Forfeiture, and now that job is gone.
Asset Forfeiture? [CHUCKLES.]
No action there.
I think you dodged a bullet.
But.
If you're looking for a trial, I was in that strip club for a reason.
Yesterday done came and gone SETH: Your Honor, as alleged in the complaint, and as set forth in the attached affidavit prepared by ATF Agent Carney, the defendant, Dwayne Darnell, oversees a sophisticated alcohol smuggling operation through his gentleman's club, Rear Window.
In addition to the alcohol smuggling counts, Mr.
Darnell is being charged with racketeering for coordination with organized crime in this scheme.
Thank you, Mr.
Oliver.
When can the government be ready for trial? I'm ready now, Your Honor.
Ted is our new investigator.
Good win for Ms.
Littlejohn, Mr.
Knox, and oops, one loss from Oh, and here he is now.
This is Leonard Knox's old office.
Unfortunately, it didn't come with his case load.
Roger brought me back to work on the Julian Sarco case.
- He called you back from Texas? - Yes.
I'm right here.
Right not in Texas.
And he brings you back? [INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS.]
[SIGHS.]
Oliver! Let's go.
Now! Petrini crime family.
Do you know them? Personally? Violent and Organized Crime Unit has been trying to build a RICO case against the Petrini family for two years, getting nowhere, and then suddenly, last night, Angelo Petrini, nephew of boss Gaetano Petrini, walks into a field office on 23rd Street, and he is singing.
This has the potential to be the biggest prosecution in this office in years.
Do you need me to help you find Kate? - No No.
Listen.
- Leonard? Oliver, I need you on this.
I know I give you a hard time.
It's 'cause I want you to be the best, and I know you can be the best.
There's nobody more valuable in this office.
Nobody I have more confidence in.
Nobody I trust more.
You are gonna take this family down.
- [CHUCKLES.]
- Okay? You! - Give me the music.
- What? [SINGS "THE GODFATHER" THEME.]
- No - Right now! Come on.
"The Godfather"! Give it to me! [SINGS "THE GODFATHER" THEME QUIETLY.]
Louder! [SINGS LOUDER.]
Louder! Louder! [SINGS EVEN LOUDER.]
[SINGING TOGETHER.]
[HUMMING.]
PARALEGAL: Sounds pretty good.
Is that "Avatar"? Can you just leave? [SIGHS.]
Knox! [SIGHS.]
[ELEVATOR BELL DINGS.]
Oh, Jenn.
I'm sorry.
[SIGHS.]
The coffee upstairs, ugh, I'm sure you won't miss that.
[SCOFFS.]
[ELEVATOR BELL DINGS.]
[ELEVATOR DOORS OPEN.]
[ELEVATOR BELL DINGS.]
MIRA: First time on the 11th floor? SETH: Unless you count the elevator.
But I know this is where the action is - This is Asset Forfeiture.
- Exactly.
And I just wanted to say, if there's ever an opening There is, actually.
Right now.
Right now? Wow! Okay.
Well, that's, uh, great timing.
Vulture! I I didn't know You're in General Crimes, right? Roger Gunn.
Amazing experience.
Roger is such an incredible mentor - He's the devil.
- He is.
You need five trials to move out of General Crimes into a more senior unit.
Do you have five trials? More or less.
- More or less? - Yes.
More? Or less? Yes.
You seem a little desperate.
I like that.
You also seem to have issues with Roger Gunn.
I like that, too.
If you can get yourself another trial, I can move this along.
Well.
I have a trial in the pipeline, so I will be seizing your assets very soon.
[CLEARS THROAT.]
[ELEVATOR BELL DINGS.]
Uh, 1, please.
20's fine.
Punctured a lung, cracked his spine, grade-three concussion.
- His wife's seven months pregnant.
- [ELEVATOR BELL DINGS.]
What happened? ATF agent was assaulted investigating a strip club in Hell's Kitchen.
Thrown down the stairs and hit over the head with a bottle of Cognac.
What kind of strip club serves Cognac? I'm not a strip club guy.
ROGER: I want you to know that everyone in this office considers an attack on one of you an attack on all of us.
We will bring this assailant to justice and we look forward to convicting him at trial.
Trial? No deals on this one, apparently.
You have to go to Roger and tell him you want this case.
I don't want this case.
I know.
I want it.
So why don't you go to Roger and tell him you want this case? How does that make any sense? Well, he likes you now No.
No.
He doesn't.
He doesn't like me.
He doesn't respect me.
And it's never gonna change.
I need to get out of here.
You're gonna leave? We're all gonna leave General Crimes sooner or later.
I just need it to be sooner.
There's an opening in Asset Forfeiture right now.
If I can get a trial, I have a shot at it.
So I need you to go and get me this trial.
Please? Whoo! Bear claw me, baby! Bear claw, right here.
- Is that too big? - SANDRA: Yes.
Allison got a Motion to Suppress, - she gets the bear claw.
- Mm.
Well, I've got a hearing today in the Lindstrom case, and I'm going to crush it.
- There are no pre-emptive bear claws! - Mm.
That's a flagrant violation of the donut code.
Sandra, I need you over at the MCC.
Why are you holding that bear claw? - Oh, I thought - Put it down.
Put it down! Now! What is this? It's a bear claw.
- Ugh.
- I don't like almonds.
[BREATHING HEAVILY.]
Are you okay? This is a kidnapping.
A baby.
I had no idea that there was a baby inside.
You didn't see the car seat? What do I know from car seats? It's dark, the baby's facing the other way it just looked like some sort of bucket thing.
Like maybe a mini-fridge, I don't know.
Rich people always have weird stuff in their cars.
You know, I blame the diamond industry, you know? Two months' salary for an engagement ring? That's crazy town.
I'm not following.
I may have boosted some cars in my past.
I know this guy in Jersey.
He's got this whole operation.
That night, I left my buddy's party, I walked outside, and there's the Audi just sitting there, like it was meant to be, you know, 'cause I want to propose but I don't have the money for it, and like here's the money! Who the hell leaves a baby in a car in the middle of the night? Well, her father said he'd been driving around for hours to help her sleep.
He didn't want to wake her while he ran in for coffee.
Yeah, well, the driving thing worked, man, 'cause that baby was out.
When did you realize she was in the car? When she started crying.
I almost drove off the road.
You didn't think about turning around? Have you ever been in a car with a crying baby? I mean, there was no clarity, lady.
You just want it to stop.
I went to my girl's.
She grew up with a ton of cousins.
She'd know what to do, but she wasn't home.
She picked up an overnight at the IHOP, so I grabbed the kid, the the baby bag, whatever it's called, and I let myself in to wait for her.
And it was just you, the baby, there by yourselves until the police came? I got her to stop crying, you know? I sang her some songs, even followed the directions on the formula can.
I made her a bottle.
[SIGHS.]
How bad could this be for me? If you're convicted of kidnapping and transporting a minor across state lines, you'd definitely be looking at a significant prison term.
But let me talk to the prosecutor, see if I can get it down to just the car, okay? Your Honor, the defendant, Adrian Carpov, is charged with one count of assaulting an officer of the United States, in violation of 18 USC 111 Is not a problem.
Well, maybe we have a different definition of the word "problem.
" Or maybe is not a problem.
Counsel, can you advise Mr.
Carpov to refrain from talking? I can try, Your Honor.
Your Honor, as to bail, given the vicious nature of this assault, we believe Mr.
Carpov is a danger to Your Honor, is there a problem? Mr.
Carpov is the senior officer at the Transnistrian Consulate here in New York.
The what consulate? According to his official accreditation by the U.
S.
Department of State, and pursuant to our bilateral agreement with the Republic of Transnistria, Mr.
Carpov is classified as a diplomatic agent.
Him? Right here? Which means he enjoys complete personal inviolability and immunity from the criminal jurisdiction of his host country.
Which means he cannot be prosecuted or compelled to testify, no matter the offense.
In terms of a trial date There will be no trial, Mr.
Oliver.
Charges are hereby dismissed.
Deputy.
Please release the defendant.
See? Not a problem.
Transnistria.
[LAUGHS.]
I can't even say it.
I cannot even say it.
You know where I grew up? Omaha, on Pine Street, one street over from Walnut Street.
Around the corner from Ak Aks Aksba Aksarb Aksarben Shopping.
Aah! Whatever.
This was my ticket away from Roger Gunn and into Asset Forfeiture.
You hear me? That wasn't rhetorical.
Do you hear me? Kate? Kate.
Kate! I need your help here.
Can it wait 20 hours? You mean 20 minutes? Hours.
My bank robbery case just settled, so I'm trying to use this little window to get a jump on my 24 hours of Minimum Continuing Legal Education.
This is a lecture on commercial vehicle litigation.
Pretty interesting, actually Your MCLE isn't due for two years! Is there a better use of my time right now? Yes.
Helping me! I helped you! I got you this case! And now you need to help me keep it.
Do you know why Carpov was at that strip club? Strippers.
- Yes, maybe.
And Cognac.
- Both pungent.
The owner stocks rare bottles of Cognac, because Carpov and his friends will spend $1,000 on a single glass.
Which he can afford, because he's never had to pay 118 parking tickets.
New York parking laws can be tricky.
Whose side are you on? This isn't about sides, Seth.
It's about getting you to leave.
Drop it.
Find another trial.
You know how hard it is to find a case that actually goes to trial.
And then remember, we're talking about me.
And this guy attacked an ATF agent! So, no.
I'm not gonna drop this.
I'm going to trial! - What? - Trial! You don't want to go to trial on this.
I'm happy to go to trial.
He was trying to steal a car He did steal a car.
The kidnapping was an accident.
He didn't know the baby was in there.
There was no ransom demand He was caught before he had the chance to make a demand.
What are you offering? Nothing.
There's a mandatory minimum of 20 years, plus he has to register as a sex offender for the rest of his life.
- A sex offender? - It's mandatory.
But there is no evidence There is a presumption when you kidnap a child.
This wasn't a kidnapping.
You keep saying that, but your client stole a car with a baby in the back.
The windows weren't tinted.
He had the baby for two hours.
He was found inside an apartment in another state with the baby in his arms.
If you think it's something else, then show me.
Otherwise, it's 20 years, whether or not we go to trial.
Carpov? I gave that to Littlejohn.
- She gave it to me.
- I don't know.
Maybe she was overwhelmed by it.
But I am ready to take this to trial.
Well, nobody wants to see this guy go down more than me.
But Transnistria has to waive Carpov's immunity in order for us to press charges, and they have no incentive to do that.
I think we have a shot.
This isn't the first time this guy broke the law.
He has an extensive criminal history assault, DUIs, gambling.
You set a meeting with State, Justice, and the Transnistrian Ambassador, I'll get them to waive immunity.
No.
- Sir - No.
Now, I have 25 poorly drafted indictments to mark up.
I do not have time for this.
- What if I mark up the indictments? - What? Clean them up so all you have to do is sign your name.
You'll get back an extra 10 hours a week to do whatever you want.
And not just those everything that comes in for the next two months, I'll do them all.
You really want this trial, don't you? I really, really do.
I lost.
We lose.
That's what we do.
It's because my route was blocked.
- What? - Construction on my route, the one I take to hearings every time.
Don't tell me you're one of those lawyers who believe the same filet of sea bass served by the same waiter at the same table has anything to do with your success in a courtroom.
Of course not, that's ridiculous.
But if I can't take my route, I might as well go back to spinning signs outside Mattress King.
You're a lawyer, not a hobgoblin.
You have no routines whatsoever? Yes, I do.
I move my chair in.
I turn on the light.
I work.
How exactly do you push your chair in? With my hands.
I can't have this conversation, because I have a sentencing in the morning.
I'm going to court in the morning, too.
Can I try your route? You mean walk with me to court? Is there a place you consider a starting point? My bed.
Don't even.
9:00 sharp.
You know about foreign policy meetings, right? My mom is on the Senate Foreign Relations Committee.
- Yes.
- Okay, cool.
[QUIETLY.]
I have this case involving diplomatic immunity.
Why are you whispering? I don't know.
Just feels like, you know, spies and stuff.
[NORMAL VOICE.]
I have a meeting with the State Department, Main Justice, and the ambassador of a foreign country - Which country? - Doesn't matter.
An important one.
- Transnistria.
- That's a country? - Do you have any advice? - My advice is that the guy who thinks the Grand Canyon is exotic travel shouldn't be in this meeting.
Never made it to the Grand Canyon.
I need this meeting.
I need this trial.
If this goes to trial, I can move down to Asset Forfeiture.
Whoa.
Hold up.
You nail this meeting and I get my office back? Okay.
[SNAPS FINGERS.]
Sit down.
You are going to dominate this meeting, which requires true gamesmanship.
So you are getting my best strategic wisdom.
Yes, great.
Okay.
Bring handouts.
That's your big move? Handouts? You're sitting down with bureaucrats, government drones, who schedule meetings at 15-minute increments, 10 hours a day, no time to think let alone prepare.
You put your strongest argument on paper, you staple it, and hand it out to everyone in that room, it doesn't matter what they want that meeting to be about.
Your handouts drive the agenda.
Handouts.
Never fails.
Madame Ambassador, my name is Roger Gunn.
This is Assistant Attorney General Hodder, and you know Assistant Secretary of State Clive Carrick.
Uh, we're here Who is that? He works in my office.
What are you doing? [WHISPERS.]
Driving the agenda.
Madame Ambassador, as you know, we are humbly requesting Transnistria to waive immunity for Mr.
Adrian Carpov.
We understand this is an exceptional request, but these are exceptional circumstances.
I mean no disrespect to you or your great nation, but Mr.
Carpov has repeatedly and flagrantly violated the norms of civil conduct.
Those are just Mr.
Carpov's reported crimes.
And I hope you don't mind I summarized a history of assaults on page 4, and there's also an overview of the illegal gaming on page 5.
I had no idea.
Thank you for bringing this to our attention.
Of course we'll waive immunity.
Thank you.
Thank you, uh, very much, Madame Ambassador.
ROGER: Congratulations, Oliver.
- Yes, congratulations.
- Thank you.
Way to screw that up in there.
Sorry? They waived immunity.
Of course they waived immunity.
Adrian's crimes are a PR nightmare for Transnistria.
So they say, "Go ahead, prosecute him, knowing we never will.
" But we will.
But we will not.
You will not.
Why not? Adrian Carpov is a genuinely horrible person and a criminal, yes.
But literally on dozens of issues, he advocates for us to his otherwise very anti-American prime minister.
Patent law harmonization, seabird conservation, disposition of looted gold Are we talking about the same guy? When we're one vote short at an international summit, when we need an ally in the Eastern Bloc, Adrian talks to his prime minister and gets it done.
Why does he help us? I don't know.
I think it's because he likes New York and Cognac and strippers and free parking.
And I don't care.
I'm sorry about the ATF agent, I am, but small price to pay.
You care more about the disposition of looted gold than the life of a federal agent? I care about the long-term interests of the United States.
What are you saying exactly? I'm saying we need Adrian Carpov.
I'm saying Adrian Carpov isn't going to jail.
Doesn't matter if Transnistria waives immunity.
You need Washington's approval to charge any diplomat, and we don't approve charges against Adrian Carpov.
Trans nistria? Don't.
Just try to relax.
And that's it? It's over? He attacked me! With Cognac! This is coming down from State.
Justice.
Above all our heads.
If Carpov were anyone else, we'd prosecute him to the fullest extent of the law.
I was gonna try this myself.
I can see how disappointed you are.
I-I I mean, yes.
Yes.
The doctors say the leak in the lining of my lung is healing okay.
It's my neck that's the problem.
They call it an atlantoaxial fracture, high up my spine.
It might never be good as new.
If I can't go back in the field, that's one thing.
But I keep thinking, when the baby comes will I ever be able to toss him a ball? I'm sorry.
My case was just dismissed.
Congratulations.
Thrown out entirely.
I'm happy for you.
As in no more case.
Oh.
Thanks for spelling that out for me.
Your route is magical, like some kind of yellow brick road.
I hate to break it to you, but the road has potholes.
I just got killed in there.
What? You stole Allison's route? Uh, I thought we could share it.
Share it? Don't tell me you believe in these ridiculous superstitions, too.
I believe in the scientific studies that say rituals reduce anxiety, make people perform better.
I believe in my decades of observing, first-hand, what happens when people break those rituals or steal them.
What happens when you steal them? Stephen Somersby.
One of the best litigators in this city.
Never lost a trial in 17 years, all because of the blue ink in a single Bic pen that he carried in his left breast pocket.
Then, one day, his partner, who was on a losing streak, borrows the pen and Well, Stephen's happy making cheese in Vermont.
Just a different life now, you know? I'm on it, Allison.
I will fix this.
[SIGHS.]
I need your help with something.
Sure.
But I can tell you right now this conversation is gonna end with you saying, "I am coming.
" What? My client in this kidnapping case mentioned a car theft ring in New Jersey.
If I can show he was working with them, I might be able to undermine the government's argument - about intent - Waste of time.
It's three guys and a drill, and none of them are willing to talk.
Have you been working this case? - You said you needed my help.
- That was, like, 10 seconds ago.
- I work quickly.
- Why are you working this case? Have you checked out the timeline? Nico was arrested about two hours after the baby was reported missing in Inwood.
But according to your interview notes, he said he stole the car three hours before his arrest.
Now, this is all happening in the wee hours, when people tend to be fuzzy, but we could be looking at a one-hour discrepancy.
You think Nico might be lying? - People lie.
- Where are you going? I'm going up to Inwood.
- I'm coming with you.
- That's not how I work.
That's how I work.
I'm coming.
I.
Am.
Coming.
Damn it.
This ATF agent's really beaten up fractured neck, busted lung.
You told Roger this isn't my case, right? I'm talking about a human being here, who is really injured.
[SIGHS.]
He would have made such a good witness.
- You're just thinking about your trial! - No! I'm thinking about a guy who needs justice and can also move a jury to give it at trial.
- You're horrible.
- You're horrible.
Do you have an estimate for getting out of here? - Oh, so insensitive! - Horrible! What? Oh, you messed this up, didn't you? Yeah, you know, your "handouts" weren't exactly magical.
I knew you'd mess this up.
The handouts are magical! The handouts drive the agenda! The handouts tell people what to think! The handouts! - What are we doing? - SETH: Just wait.
- For what? - Just wait.
Did you know that under New York law, a burrito is considered a sandwich? - Food law.
- New York Times is live.
- ABC News.
HuffPo! - With what? worst abuses of diplomatic immunity in the city's history, a newly leaked report on Adrian Carpov, a consular official from the Republic of Transnistria I called a dozen reporters and gave them copies of the handout.
With all of the abuse, there will be such outrage, it'll be impossible to ignore.
And, since I passed out all of those copies at the meeting, no one will know who leaked it! The handout! I am going to trial.
I am going to Asset Forfeiture.
And you are going to my office.
- Did you tell Roger? - Not yet.
Hmm, you may want to mention it.
I can explain about the handouts.
Leonard Brilliant.
Excuse me? Just got the green light on your prosecution.
With the press on Carpov's crime spree, State and Justice caved.
They would have looked weak if they hadn't.
I thought your handouts were moronic, but they turned out to be a stroke of genius.
This is what I've been trying to tell Leonard.
FBI is gonna make an arrest.
You are gonna avenge that ATF agent.
And I am gonna release you from having to do any more of these mark-ups.
Nice work, Oliver.
TED: That's where Nico stole the car, and that's the bodega where the baby's father grabbed some coffee.
[SIGHS.]
What are you doing? Watching.
Watching what? The neighborhood.
[BREATHES DEEPLY.]
Do you see anything? I see your lips moving.
Oh.
We should get out there, talk to some people.
Do something.
[SIGHS.]
We are doing something.
We're watching, all right? You learn more by watching than talking.
- Did you ever watch "Sesame Street"? - Yes.
- Did you learn anything? - Yes.
Were you talking the whole time? Yes.
I didn't like the bird.
- The bird.
- Freaked me out.
Yes, the bird the you know, the big bird and - You mean Big Bird.
- Yes.
See, now we're talking and not watching when we should be watching.
[SIGHS.]
[SMOKE DETECTOR BEEPING.]
I thought I gave the arson case to Merri.
Jay took my route to the courthouse, and now he thinks that because he won and I lost, I'm "cursed"! You gave up your route? I mean, I let Jay walk with me, but Oh, that's why you got the crazy Harnett sentencing.
I mean, I'd say it was more about a horrible judge And why Jay's case got dismissed! This isn't good.
Am I being pranked today? The last time this happened was Joseph Wadell, the Public Defender before me.
He lost his special tie, and he heard the U.
S.
Attorney had this lucky ritual, so he tried to take it.
- I can't remember - [RINGING.]
Who are you calling? - This is Roger.
- Yeah, you're on speaker.
What did Wadell take from Hammond? Oh, right, yeah.
Uh, Hammond used to work his dog's name - into every closing.
- That's crazy.
Well, it worked for Hammond.
Then Wadell started doing it, and Hammond started losing.
A lot.
Hammond started drinking, Wadell was hit by a train - Okay, we got it.
- Thank you.
I'll admit.
It's disconcerting that so many smart people I respect believe in this stuff.
We've already got the firepower of the federal government against us.
We can't take on an angry universe, too.
I hope he comes up with something.
[CAR DOOR OPENS.]
[GROANS.]
- So? - So? So, I talked to two guys around the corner who said there have been a lot of car thefts in the area, but they don't recall anything from that night.
And I went to the Mister Softee truck, but he wouldn't talk to me unless I bought an ice cream sandwich.
And? Bought an ice cream sandwich, but he didn't have any information.
Okay, cool.
- Seatbelt.
- What? We're done here.
But we didn't turn up anything.
You haven't turned up anything.
You haven't even left the car! I didn't need to leave the car.
You see that doorway right there? 11 people have gone in that doorway since you left, and I would say roughly 11 out of 11 don't live in this neighborhood.
Which means? It's a drug den.
Which means? The dad's a user.
Left his kid in the car, went in, got high, forgot about his baby.
Nico comes by, sees this nice car, jacks it.
Which means? Which means I get the ice cream sandwich.
Still waiting for word on this arrest.
[EXHALES SLOWLY.]
But I just want to say, now that I'll be leaving, I really appreciate your help with this.
And I realize you have your headphones in and aren't listening to a word I'm saying.
But you've been a great friend to me, and I honestly can't imagine [CHUCKLES.]
how I would have done this job without you.
Or your office.
Mr.
Oliver.
I think you want to see this.
- What am I watching? - That's Carpov.
No.
No! What? What? Where's he going? Why are they stopping? REPORTER: fled from the Transnistrian Consulate and taken refuge in the neighboring Cordoban Embassy - Cordoba?! - Really impressive speed.
Why didn't the FBI follow him in? - Why didn't they arrest him? - Can't.
That embassy is basically foreign soil.
The FBI can't set foot in there without permission.
No one can.
If Cordoba grants him diplomatic asylum and given our history with Cordoba, I'm sure they will Carpov can stay in there forever, and we can't get to him.
Here.
Giving these back to you.
I hate the world.
- Cut the power? - No.
- The water? - No.
Those are acts of war.
How did they get Assange out of the Ecuadorian embassy? - He's not out.
- He's not out? It's been, like, six years.
Do you know it's illegal in New York to take a selfie with a tiger? Okay.
Listen.
We sneak in and pull the fire alarm.
How are you gonna sneak into an embassy? I will pose as a pizza delivery man.
Okay.
So, I take the pizza on the porch.
Thank you.
Close the door.
Wait.
See, you don't, 'cause I say, "Sir, excuse me, I am bleeding.
- Do you have a Band-Aid?" - Are you bleeding? Yes, I will cut myself.
- How much blood? - Enough.
A lot.
So you're dripping blood all over the pizzas? No, I don't want the pizzas now.
Goodbye.
Close the door.
Wait, what did you say? It's illegal to take a selfie with a tiger.
Or any large cat That's it.
We get him to take a selfie with a tiger? No way.
I saw "The Hangover.
" Listen, why do people take selfies with tigers? Well, who else is gonna take that picture? They do it because people do stupid stuff for the things they want.
They take huge risks.
So what does Carpov want? Carpov wants - A tiger.
- Ibiza.
Cognac.
Carpov is obsessed with Cognac.
He goes to Cognac tastings all over the world.
Cognac is his Achilles' heel.
So we lure him out with Cognac.
How do we do that? Mm.
Why do I have to be here? I can't walk BB into this place alo.
Dwayne Darnell? Yes? This is Kate Littlejohn.
I'm Seth Oliver.
Too old.
We're from the United States Attorney's Office.
I don't care what the act is.
We're federal prosecutors with the United States Attorney's Office.
We want to talk to you about Adrian Carpov.
Never heard of him.
You know, that sign out front? "Rear Window.
" - It's beautiful.
- Thank you.
Yeah, except those are 4-foot letters.
New York law mandates 39-inch letters for anything hanging more than 4 feet over the street.
Now, that's New York State law, and I'm a federal prosecutor, so I can't do anything about it.
But I can refer it.
Also, your condiments need to be single-serving.
Shall I keep going? What do you want? Adrian Carpov is into Cognac, right? Does a hobby horse have a wooden You know what? Let's just What Cognac is Adrian always talking about? Like, the one.
That if he could taste it, he would die happy? I mean, a Croizet Cuvée Léonie, but that's $150,000 bottle.
It It's impossible to find.
- I've never seen one.
- Yes, you have.
In fact, you have one right now and it's open and he has to taste it.
[SCOFFS.]
You're in here a lot, yes? What? No, I-I've never I'm joking.
I'm joking.
[LAUGHS.]
I've never been in that place in my life.
Not once.
You made up all that stuff about the sign, didn't you? I'm not a strip club girl.
[CHUCKLES.]
This guy's smart.
He'll send a test car, see if we bite.
AGENT: That's our guy.
- FBI! Don't move! - Get on the ground! See? Not a problem.
SANDRA: The baby's father, Gregory Winston, wasn't a weary parent trying to help his child sleep.
He's a high-functioning addict who used his baby as cover so he could leave his house and score drugs.
You have proof of this? Closed-circuit camera from outside the door of the pawn shop across the street.
Car was parked for almost an hour, drives away, presumably when it was stolen, and yet it was another hour before Winston came out and called the police.
Temperatures that night dipped into the low-40s.
A 3-month-old baby, left outside for that length of time, most likely would die of hypothermia.
We also have Nico's Internet search history.
"Where to drop off baby," "give back baby, no questions asked," "safe baby surrender," addresses of nearby fire stations and hospitals Clear evidence of lack of intent.
Nico was trying to figure out how to return the child to her parents.
The kidnapping was a mistake, but he probably saved that baby's life.
I'll need to review this with the investigating agents, but if it holds up, we'll dismiss the kidnapping charges.
He might still face auto theft with the State.
What about the baby? What about the baby? Well, the baby's dad is a user who left her in the car.
Yes, you just told me that.
Are you gonna prosecute the father? If he made a false statement What about the baby? I'm asking about the baby.
That's not our jurisdiction.
Sandra? Why don't we focus on Nico Hold on.
I'm asking you No, you hold on.
Don't raise your voice with me.
That baby is not safe.
What the hell are you doing? Look, I'm trying to protect that child.
We are negotiating a deal for our client.
That is why we are here.
I will talk to her about the child after.
He left his daughter alone in a car, in the middle of the night.
I know what he did.
I know.
- He doesn't deserve to be a father.
- Ted Where will she be the next time he takes a hit? In the bathtub? Face down in her crib? Someone has to protect her.
So it was really all about the handout.
[CHUCKLES.]
Special reserve.
Ah.
Cognac.
From Duane Reade.
Best I could do on short notice.
[CHUCKLES.]
Well done, Oliver.
This has been a crazy ride, so if you want to tag in someone else to try the case No.
No, I'd like to keep it through trial.
Just heard from my mom that Transnistria gave up its seat on the Trans-Atlantic Fisheries Technology Conference.
Which means? - Nothing, probably.
- Exactly.
Well, worst case it means war.
I'm saying worst case.
See, up to this point, we've always convinced Transnistria to vote with the Scandinavian countries on fisheries policy in exchange for Scandinavian votes on ballast water and sediments management.
I'm deep into Maritime Law now.
Only four hours to go.
Anyway, this all matters a lot to China all the shipping and anti-fouling issues do which is how we get China to pressure Russia on the Bunker Oil Pollution Protocol, which gets the whole European Union to help us keep Moldova from attacking Transnistria.
Attacking Transnistria? Maritime law is really complicated, though.
And the lecturer had a thick French accent, so I don't think it's anything to get worked up over.
The important thing is that you're going to trial.
- JAY: I'm still working on a fix.
- ALLISON: I know.
As of now, it looks like we're gonna have to sacrifice a goat here in Foley Square on the new moon.
You'd keep the goat head in your office for three weeks [GASPS.]
Peter! Is that Peter Daum? - Yes.
- The Peter Daum? Yes.
The greatest trial lawyer of his generation Peter Daum? Yes! Peter.
[BOTH CHUCKLE.]
Thank you for coming.
Peter, this is my colleague, Jay Simmons.
Jay, this is Peter Daum.
It's a real honor, sir.
I'm dead, right? But somehow I made it to lawyer heaven, and you are greeting me.
Mr.
Simmons.
You're not dead.
Yet.
But Allison does tell me you're having some trouble with your route.
I'd like to offer mine.
What? I've had the same route here for 47 years, and it's served me well.
But I'm retired now.
I tried my last case two weeks ago - I won - [CHUCKLES.]
And, uh, I well, I don't have any use for it anymore.
If you're interested Yes.
O-Of course.
Thank you! Meet me here at 7:37 tomorrow morning.
On the northwest corner.
You'll need brown shoes, a nickel from 1971, a very small can of sardines.
Do not brush your hair, and do not urinate before leaving your house.
Okay? See you tomorrow.
Bye, Al.
Thanks, Peter! [CHUCKLES.]
How? Old family friend.
It took me a while, but I get it now.
All these superstitions.
We have so little control over what happens to the people we work so hard to protect, and it's so stressful, and it makes sense that everyone is looking for some order to things.
Something that explains this win or justifies that loss.
Something that feels like control over an input and outcome that, in so many ways, for so many reasons, we do not control.
I hope the sardines help.
[LAUGHS.]
Celia dropped the kidnapping charge.
The State's letting Nico plead down to probation.
He is beyond grateful.
Okay.
Celia also arranged a visit to the child's parents by Children's Services.
The dad voluntarily entered a treatment facility, which means the baby can stay in the mother's custody.
Look, I know you've seen me act less than restrained.
I understand.
But what happened today I had a son.
I had a son.
I'm sorry about today.
Oh, child, when you are weary Weary deep down in your soul Protocol on the Suppression of Violence at Airports.
The International Convention on Civil Liability for Oil Pollution Damage.
Are you having the world's nerdiest stroke? The Convention on Early Notification on a Nuclear Accident.
And I, for one, do not want to be notified late.
What are these? They're agreements we made with Transnistria, issues that idiot Carpov helped to sway.
The domino effect of that fisheries thing is just a start.
State thinks they could walk out on a big cyber-terror agreement next, which I'm sure you'll now tell me is the beginning of the apocalypse.
You know that scenario I described? That was just hypothetical.
There's uncertainty in everything we do, in every direction, a cascade of unintended consequences.
You could try this case and start a nuclear war.
Or you could let Carpov go and he could start a nuclear war.
You can only control what you can control.
So focus on that.
What do you want to do? What do you think is right? Whoa, oh, oh, oh-oh Ain't no chain gonna hold you down Ain't no grave gonna hold you now Yesterday done came and gone Ain't it time to bury the bones? Ain't no chain gonna hold you down Whoa, oh-oh, oh Ain't no grave gonna hold you now Mmm Yesterday done came and gone Whoa, oh-oh Ain't it time to bury the bones? Take me down to the river Oh-oh, oh-oh Wash me clean in the water Congratulations.
- I'm not gonna prosecute him.
- What? The State Department is releasing a joint statement with the Transnistrian Ministry of Foreign Affairs as we speak.
Carpov will return to Transnistria for prosecution at home.
They won't prosecute him at home.
Probably not, no.
I'm sorry.
I wanted to prosecute him, but my job is to serve the interests of this government as a whole, complicated and messy and imperfect as they are.
This time that means letting a bad guy go.
Wash me clean in the water I'd be more pissed off if I didn't just hear my spine is looking better.
You're probably doing the right thing.
I better be.
This trial was supposed to get me a job in Asset Forfeiture, and now that job is gone.
Asset Forfeiture? [CHUCKLES.]
No action there.
I think you dodged a bullet.
But.
If you're looking for a trial, I was in that strip club for a reason.
Yesterday done came and gone SETH: Your Honor, as alleged in the complaint, and as set forth in the attached affidavit prepared by ATF Agent Carney, the defendant, Dwayne Darnell, oversees a sophisticated alcohol smuggling operation through his gentleman's club, Rear Window.
In addition to the alcohol smuggling counts, Mr.
Darnell is being charged with racketeering for coordination with organized crime in this scheme.
Thank you, Mr.
Oliver.
When can the government be ready for trial? I'm ready now, Your Honor.