Full House s01e17 Episode Script

Danny's Very First Date

Okay, Honeybees.
Let's all "bee" seated.
- Who knows what today is? - Me! - Stephanie.
- Today the Honeybee Honey Drive starts.
- Very good, Stephanie.
- Thank you.
Joey, as honorary Queen Bee, will you pass out the sample honey? Linda, I would "bee" delighted.
I know our hive is gonna raise lots of money for underprivileged children.
And the Honeybee who sells the most honey will win this special grand prize.
Steph.
- Stephanie.
- Steph.
Yeah.
- You haven't won the bike yet.
- Yet.
That seat was made for my tush.
I would like to introduce a young lady who holds the record for selling 725 jars of honey.
A Honeybee legend, I might add.
Let's put your wings together for D.
J.
Tanner! All right.
Thank you, Honeybees.
Ah, memories.
Honeybees, any kid can sell raffle tickets for a color TV but to unload this stuff, you gotta work your little stinger off.
So, what are you gonna do? Sell! Let me hear it.
Sell! Sell! Sell! - Hello.
- Attack! Hold it! Been wiping out bugs all day a few more won't make a difference.
Get out.
Get out.
You.
See me later.
Sure, yuk it up.
It just so happens that I am an honorary Queen Bee.
Joseph, this is no news to me.
What's this? It's a tree house.
It's from your mom.
My mom always sends me the dopiest gifts.
I think it's for Michelle.
Hi, guys.
Are the Honeybees here? - I didn't miss them, did I? - Yes, they're still here.
More importantly, I believe, so is their hive mother, Linda.
Linda? Jesse, my daughter is a Honeybee.
And Linda just happens to be her hive mother.
She also happens to be very pretty and very divorced.
And you happen to like her, don't you? Purely as an insect.
Face it, man.
You're smitten.
- I am not smitten.
- I know smitten.
You are smut.
Why don't you ask her out.
It's obvious you're ready to start dating again.
I don't know.
You think it's been enough time? Danny, it's been a year since Pam died.
I don't think you should feel bad about seeing other people.
Yeah, but dating.
I haven't been on a date since I took Pam to the senior prom.
I don't remember how to ask a girl out.
Same way you asked my sister out.
How'd you do that? Well, Joey asked her out for me.
This Joey? Joey was sort of my expert on romance.
This Joey? It just so happens that I have a way with women.
Yes, you look at them, and they run away.
Excuse me.
Daniel, listen.
You're a reasonably semi-attractive young man.
You've lived with me long enough, something must have rubbed off.
Go in there, be bold, be confident and ask that girl out.
- Don't come back until you got a date.
- That's right.
Go! - You're right.
I can do this.
- Right.
- Is my cowlick sticking up? - Your cowlick.
Go.
Get out.
- Oh, Linda, hi.
- Hi, Danny.
What a nice surprise.
I forgot the Honeybees were even meeting today.
Well, we're just wrapping things up.
Why don't you all buzz into the car.
Thanks for letting us use your house again.
Anytime.
Mi hive is su hive.
Mr.
Tanner, will you please buy some honey? - Sweetheart, come here.
- Yes, Mommy? Oh, I think Mr.
Tanner will be buying his honey from Stephanie.
You know, you can never have too many jars of honey.
- Sign me up for three jars.
- Thanks, Mr.
Tanner.
- You're welcome.
- I don't believe this! I must be dreaming.
Daddy, I need that bike.
Sweetheart, I'm gonna buy from you too.
I'll tell you what.
I'll take 10 jars.
Ten jars? All-- Only 10? Dad, you just bought three from the competition.
This sweet, young child is your own flesh and blood.
- Fifteen jars? - Twenty.
- Seventeen.
- Deal.
Now, that's how you set records, kid.
- You just bought 20 jars of honey.
- That's nothing.
When D.
J.
set the record, I bought 112.
I built a honey cellar downstairs.
You know, you're really a great dad.
- I've got the kids waiting in the car.
- Linda, wait.
Do you ever go to the movies? Sure.
I love movies.
No kidding? Me too.
It's a small world.
Two people who love movies living in the same city.
It's amazing.
Where was I? I think you were kind of working up the courage to ask me out.
Right.
I'm still working on it.
Danny, I've got a car full of Bees.
But I've got two tickets to a modern art exhibit tonight.
I'd love for you to be my guest, if I find a sitter.
- Jesse and Joey can do it.
- Great.
Then we can have dinner too.
My treat.
Pick you up around 7? Okay? - Okay.
- It's a date? - It's a date.
- Great.
I have a date tonight.
I have a date tonight.
I have a date tonight.
I have a date tonight! I have a date tonight.
And why not? Michelle, when we put together this dream house it will make Benny the Dishrag look like.
Well, look like a dishrag.
Hi, guys.
What's happening? - You tell us.
- Well, I'd like to but I have to get ready for my date tonight! My man! All right! You did what I told you, right? You were bold you asked her out, and she said yes, right? No.
I was shy and I was awkward, and she asked me out, and I said yes.
- No.
- Yes.
She's treating me to dinner and to an art exhibit.
She's paying? How's this shy and awkward thing work? Danny, you're gonna go out tonight and have a great time.
That's right.
And we're gonna watch your girls.
The girls.
How am I gonna tell D.
J.
and Stephanie that their father is going out on a date? Any ideas? - Well.
- Tell him, Joseph.
- Trust your instincts.
- Right.
Trust your instincts and tell them exactly what they need to know, but nothing more.
- Just tell them that.
- I like that, Jess.
I like that.
Listen to what they say and respond accordingly.
Accordingly respond to what they say.
And most importantly, be their father.
Yeah.
You have no clue how to handle this, do you? - Don't know what I'm talking about.
- I don't either.
Michelle? You'll tell your sisters for me, won't you? Thank you, honey.
You take all the pressure off.
Give me a kiss.
Thanks.
you gotta be a salesman, like this: "Hi, my name's Stephanie Tanner.
I'm a Honeybee and we're raising money for needy kids.
Jars of honey make wonderful birthday gifts and your purchase is tax-deductible.
Talk about a honey of a deal.
" That was awesome! - Hey, girls.
- Go for it.
Hi, Daddy.
I'm Stephanie Tanner, and this honey is tax duckbills.
Happy birthday.
Sweetheart, I bought 17 jars from you already.
Deej, take your sister and sit down because right now I wanna have a little talk with my three girls about something important.
Tonight, your father is going on a.
You know, let me have two more jars.
Great! You girls, you like Julie's mom, Mrs.
Stratton, don't you? - Sure.
- She's a nice hive mother.
Well, great.
Because tonight, Julie's mom and I are.
We're.
Make it four more jars.
I'm getting good at this.
I better just say this before I go broke.
Julie's mom and I are going out tonight.
Oh, boy! Where are we going? No, angel, it's just me and Julie's mom.
- Why can't we go? - Steph, you don't get it.
They're going on a date.
Dad doesn't want us there.
They wanna be alone.
D.
J.
, wait! It's not that we wanna be alone.
We just wanna get to know each other.
Well, Dad, couldn't you stay home with us? I need you to help me with my homework.
And Stephanie probably needs you too.
Right, Steph? I guess so.
Daddy, if you go on a date tonight is Julie's mommy gonna be our new mommy? Your new mommy? Of course not.
You know, people go out on dates and they don't get married.
You understand that, don't you? I don't know.
I'm not sure what's going on.
I'll tell you exactly what's going on.
We need dad here, and he's leaving.
Why don't I just change my plans and stay with you three girls, then? For the rest of my life.
Hi, Linda? Yeah, it's Danny.
Look, I feel real uncomfortable about this but I have to cancel out on our date.
I'm starting to feel like it's too soon for this.
Thanks for understanding.
Yeah.
Bye.
- What happened? - I thought you were ready to start dating.
I was, until I saw the looks on those girls' faces.
Although Michelle took it pretty well.
You think I should've kept my date, don't you? - Yes.
I do.
- I agree with him.
Who said that? Look, Daniel, yes, it is hard on the girls, man but they love you.
They'll learn to deal with it.
I just think my dating will be much easier once the girls are away at college.
Oh, yeah.
You'll be pushing 50, hanging out at singles bars.
"Hi.
Danny Tanner.
Capricorn.
Wanna hold my teeth?" Danny, this is always gonna be a tough situation.
But do you wanna keep postponing your life? Well, no.
Danny, the decision is yours.
What do you really wanna do? - I really wanna go out with Linda.
- Now you're talking, brother! - Lay it down.
- All right.
- Come on, Joseph, get the stuff.
- Okay.
Hi, Linda? Danny here.
Yeah, did someone call you before saying it was too soon for me to start dating? I thought so.
Linda that was my evil twin brother, Manny Tanner.
If it's not too late, I'd really like to see you tonight.
- Great.
So you'll pick me up at-- - Hi, Dad.
Could you hold on a second? Hi, girls.
Dad, we were talking, and it was so nice of you to cancel your date for us we wanna thank you by taking you out for ice cream.
- Our treat.
- Because you're a great dad.
And we love you so much.
Thanks.
I love you too.
- Thanks, Dad.
- Thanks, Daddy.
This is Manny Tanner, the evil twin.
Something's come up, and Danny can't make it tonight.
He's really very sorry, and he'll call you later if I let him.
Bye.
You might wanna use wing nut 34.
Wing nut 34 Will you? You sure you don't wanna take one look at the instructions? Joseph, do not question the master.
This is quite simple, my friend.
There is a roof there is a floor, there are legs, there is this part which is obviously bonus firewood.
Do you guys wanna come with Dad and us for ice cream? Girls, we have a better idea.
Yeah.
Why don't we take you girls out for ice cream so your daddy can go to that art exhibit? Because that idea stinks.
Right, Steph? Maybe.
Who knows? I've been confused all day.
I know you're worried about your dad dating again, but I know how you feel.
- How would you know? - Well you see, I was only 6 when my parents got divorced and I wasn't very happy when my mom started to date again.
My grandma used to come and babysit and she used to pinch my cheeks so hard, it was just.
Just tell the story, huh? Anyway, I got used to my mom dating again and she was much happier because she wasn't so lonely.
You think Dad's lonely? Yes, I do.
You know what? I think your dad would be very happy if he could go on that date.
- Well, I want Dad to be happy.
- I do too.
Come on, D.
J.
Let's go talk to Daddy.
All right.
Done, Joseph.
Without instructions.
Looking good.
Come on, I'll build the master a club sandwich.
All right.
Coming, master? Yeah, yeah.
I'm.
Yes, of course I'm coming.
Nice suit.
Did you get that from a realtor? Steph.
Before we go talk to Dad, come with me.
What's wrong? I don't know about this.
Buy you said you wanted Daddy to be happy.
Yeah.
But we're forgetting somebody very important.
- Who? - Mom.
Mom? What do you mean? Well, maybe Mom wouldn't be so happy about Dad going out on dates.
Wow.
I never thought of that.
I don't want Mom to be not happy, and I don't want Daddy to be not happy.
And I don't want us to be not happy.
This is so complicated.
I think I'm having my first headache.
- Daddy, can we talk to you? - Sure.
I thought we were going out for ice cream.
We wanted to make sure we still liked it.
Come here.
Sit next to me.
Give me my kid.
All right.
Thank you.
Okay, girls what's wrong? Well, it's kind of hard to explain.
No, it's not.
D.
J.
was wondering if you still love Mom.
Of course I still love Mom.
She was the first love of my life.
Together we made three little miracles.
I'm always gonna love her.
Nothing will change that.
Not a date.
Not even if I fall in love with someone else one day.
Well, how do you think Mom would feel about that? I know exactly how she would feel.
- You do? - How? Well, moms and dads talk about all kinds of things and one night, we had a long talk about what we would do if something ever happened to one of us.
We talked about making sure you were all taken care of.
And we agreed that if either one of us ever became single again we should try to meet someone else to share our life with.
So Mom would be happy if you went on a date? I think she would be.
She would know that I'm not looking for someone to take her place just to make a new friend.
I could never forget Mom.
I think about her every time I look at you.
And you.
And you too.
Well, maybe we could take you out for ice cream another night.
We already had two bowls anyway.
Go on your date, Dad.
That's very sweet, but I don't think I can call Julie's mom again.
- I already broke our date twice.
- I'll call her.
D.
J.
, you don't have to do that.
It's 555-8713.
All right! Yes! Okay.
Get this off, here.
Hey, Linda's waiting downstairs.
She's here already? How is she dressed? Casual? Trendy? Semi-trendy? Quasi-casual? Wearing a chicken suit with flippers.
Go! Oh, God, I'm dating again.
How do I look? Be brutal.
- You look good.
- Fine.
I hate the way I look.
I don't blame you, but there's just not enough time for a nose job now.
Guys, look, I need your help here.
I've gotta put together a look.
- I got something for you.
- I have a look for you.
Well, I'm glad we had this time to get acquainted.
Maybe we should go up and play with the girls.
I promise Danny will be down in just a second.
Yo, Daniel! You got a pretty girl-- Your cowlick looks fine! I know.
I flattened it out.
- Hi, Linda.
- Hi, Danny.
- Or is it Manny? - No, it's Danny, the good twin.
Thanks for waiting.
Sorry about all the confusion.
I understand.
When I started dating again, I went through the same craziness.
Michelle wants to say goodbye.
Go ahead, Michelle.
You don't even have to say it.
I know.
Don't stay out late, because you're gonna wake me up at 3.
- Bye-bye, Deej.
- Bye.
- Say goodbye to Steph for me.
- Okay.
- Shall we go? - We shall.
- You kids behave yourselves.
- Take two dimes for a phone call.
Go! - Go on.
- Have fun.
- Be good.
- Go on.
All right, Michelle, this is the moment we've all been waiting for.
It's time to throw away Benny the Dishrag because you're now the proud owner of a brand-new, man-eating tree house! - All right, pal.
Here we go.
- Come on, let's go.
Ready?