Full House s02e18 Episode Script

Goodbye, Mr. Bear

Baby, baby, baby.
Baby, baby, baby.
[LAUGHS] You sing.
It sounds great.
I mean, it's your song, you made it up.
You keep singing it.
Please.
All right, if you really want me to sing your song.
Baby, baby, baby.
Stop.
My turn.
Baby, baby, baby.
Baby, baby, baby.
Hey, you wrote it you know how to sing it.
Baby, baby, baby.
Good morning, troops.
It is now 0700 and it's time to attack the enemy.
Grease, grime, slime, sludge.
And that's just Joey's room.
Now, what is dirt? Dirt bad.
I can't hear you.
Dirt bad! Daddy's really into spring-cleaning, isn't he? Steph, it may be spring-cleaning to us, but to Dad, it's Christmas.
Permission to whine.
Permission denied.
Get back in line, soldier.
Yes, your spotlessness.
[SNORING] - Look alive! - Oh! Don't do that.
I was having a beautiful dream.
We hired a cleaning service.
Now, troops, you all have your assignments.
Now sound off.
[CHANTING] If we find dirt we will attack If we find dirt we will attack And we'll get Danny off our back And we'll get Danny off our back - Sound off - One, two - Sound off - Dirt bad Aah.
I love the smell of Lysol in the morning.
Mr.
Bear, part of spring-cleaning is giving the toys we don't play with anymore to charity.
Should we keep Candy Land? No, there's no real candy in it.
You are such a nutty bear.
Toys! Michelle, before we give these toys away, is there something you want? I want that.
Freeze, bearnapper! Who, me? Mr.
Bear is not a toy.
He's one of the family.
If Mr.
Bear's related to anyone in this room, it's the mattress.
Mr.
Bear says, "How rude.
" - Girls, what stuff's going to charity? - Everything over there.
Okay.
Are you sure you wanna give this little baby doll? It's Baby Giggle-tummy.
You push right there and she giggles.
[GIGGLES] Joey, let's go.
The truck's waiting downstairs.
Right away, your tidy bowlness.
Steph, come here.
You're the one small enough to clean behind the refrigerator.
- Michelle, you want this job? - No, thank you.
Well, Michelle, my kitchen is immaculate.
How are you doing with your kitchen? Dirt gone.
Yes, dirt gone.
But never forget, dirt come back.
Some dirt came back right there.
Daddy will get it.
JESSE: Yo, Danny! Oh! You waxed the counter? And you just buffed it.
Thanks, Jess.
I'm all finished cleaning.
I even hosed down the hose.
Everything's perfect.
Did I say perfect? You broke off the handle.
You just ruined my kitchen.
I'll take care of it.
I'll get a new one.
Next time you see this kitchen, it'll be perfect.
- Michelle, wanna go for a ride in the car? - Car dirty.
I hope you're proud of yourself.
Come on, you.
Come here.
Daddy, Daddy, have you seen Mr.
Bear? I can't find him anywhere.
Steph, I'm sure he's around here somewhere.
Maybe Joey's seen him.
If you see Mr.
Bear before I do, tell him he's in very big trouble.
I'll give him the message.
Come on, Dad, let's go.
We're gonna be late for my karate match.
D.
J.
, just a minute.
Joey, is the living room ready for inspection? Yes, your neurotic compulsiveness.
Well, this might look beautiful to the naked eye but let's see if it passes the Tanner test for tidiness.
Yes, Danny, I cleaned all the logs in the fireplace.
I know how crazy you get about burning dirty wood.
Life doesn't get any better than this.
Yeah.
Dad, let's go.
Christmas is over.
Boy, I hate to leave.
Don't worry, Danny.
I'll stand guard here in case any dust tries to settle.
Oh, that felt so good.
STEPHANIE: Where's Mr.
Bear? Monkeys, rhinos, bunnies.
Not a bear in the bunch.
Call the FBI.
Call the police.
Call me a cab, I've got a bear to find.
Steph, come on.
Don't panic, just settle down.
Take a nice deep breath.
Good.
Now, when was the last time that--? Steph, you can let the breath out now.
Good, good.
Now, when was the last time you saw Mr.
Bear? He was sitting on my bed helping me sort out toys.
Right.
He was here when I came up to collect the clothes and toys to give away to charity.
You didn't give away Mr.
Bear, did you? Steph, why don't you keep looking, and I'll see if I can track him down.
- Okay.
- Good.
God, I hate to bother you.
I know you've got a lot of stuff to do but Mr.
Bear's missing.
So if you could squeeze in just one little miracle I'd be a happy camper.
D.
J.
, you were great.
That kid was twice your size.
Thanks, Dad.
But next time I win a match, don't try and start a wave.
Ooh, I'm glad I'm not a part of this.
You're back already? Do me a favor, keep your pop out of this kitchen for say, three or four days, huh? Work fast.
Maybe I can give you three or four minutes.
- D.
J.
, I'm gonna go start dinner.
- Dad, let's go have some Chinese food.
Okay.
Why don't we go to Chinatown? We always go to Chinatown.
Let's go to China.
- I'll get the menu.
We'll call for takeout.
- Dad, don't go in there.
Huh.
Why did you let me go in there? Could have gone to China.
[WHISTLING] Hi, pally, how are you? You'd probably like an explanation, wouldn't you? What happened is I went to the hardware store to buy a new handle.
But the design's discontinued.
So I got whole new set.
I got this whole new set.
Pretty decorative, huh? Well, see, and then what happened was the screws were too fat.
I got a bunch of fat screws to make the holes bigger.
So I'm drilling, thus, breaking the veneer on the fronts.
So I had to put whole new fronts on the drawers.
Those.
You're wondering about those.
As well you should.
Well, see this part, this makes perfect sense because the cabinets and the drawers have to match.
Cabinet, drawers.
So, what I did was I got new fittings, but they didn't fit.
The fronts didn't fit, so I shaved them.
So when you walked in, I'm shaving.
I'm whistling, you walk-- I swear I'll clean it all up.
Everything was all cleaned up.
How could you do this to me? On my day.
This is my Christmas.
You don't like the new handles? Please.
I've looked everywhere.
I'm telling you, he was kidnapped.
Slow down.
Everything's gonna be okay.
Now, who was kidnapped? My best friend in the whole world, Mr.
Bear.
Let me get some information.
Now, does Mr.
Bear have a first name? Teddy.
He's exactly this tall: Brown hat, gray trench coat, brown snout.
This Mr.
Bear, he's a stuffed animal, isn't he? Well, technically.
You called the police because I messed up your kitchen? Officer, what happened was the design was discontinued.
I put a new thing.
I'm doing new holes, it breaks, I'm shaving and he walks in.
Jesse, I didn't call the police.
Officer, what's the problem? This little girl flagged me down to report a missing bear.
Brown hat, gray trench coat, brown snout.
Steph, I think I know what might have happened.
I may have accidentally put Mr.
Bear in the bag of toys we gave to charity.
I tried to track him, but he's been given away.
You gave away Mr.
Bear? Officer, arrest this man.
- Steph, I'm really sorry.
- How could you do this to me? Steph, how many of these posters are you gonna make? I'm gonna put one on every telephone pole in America.
I've gotta find Mr.
Bear.
Steph, why don't we try talking about something else besides Mr.
Bear? Okay, let's talk about Joey.
Why'd he give away Mr.
Bear? Don't blame Joey.
Accidents happen.
Like, remember the time you lost my pillow person? He was so cute.
He had dangling arms and legs.
I was mad at you for losing him, but then I got over it.
I grew up.
I moved on.
I found your pillow person under my mattress.
My pillow person! Oh, I thought I'd never see you again! I mean, what a pleasant surprise.
Hi, girls.
Steph, I feel terrible about this Mr.
Bear thing.
- Is there a way I can make it up to you? - Remember what Mr.
Bear looked like? - Well, yeah, sure.
- Then grab a crayon.
Pass me a brown.
[MUTTERING] - Jesse, do I wanna come in there? - Yep, come on in.
You're gonna love it.
- Well? - I do love it.
This is great.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Never hug me in front of my power tools.
Stephanie, come meet some new friends.
Stephanie's on her way down.
Oh, there's my baby.
Give Grandma a great big kiss.
Toys! Nice seeing you too, sweetheart.
- My bear.
- Oh, no, honey.
Stephanie picks first, okay? I hope this works.
Steph's really taking this hard.
I realize she's attached to this thing, but it's just a stuffed animal.
Oh, just a stuffed animal.
Do you remember Doggy Katsopolis? Not in front of people, huh? Doggy Katsopolis? Come on, Dad.
Let's go in the kitchen and work with our hands.
You loved that stuffed mutt.
You'd throw him around the room for hours.
I didn't throw him.
He flew.
- Your little Doggy Katsopolis had wings? - Don't be stupid.
He flew by flapping his little ears.
Hi, Grandma.
Hi, Grandpa.
IRENE: Hi, honey.
Hi, honey.
NICK: Hi, honey.
Look what Grandpa Nick and I brought you.
Some new friends.
Why don't you get to know them? All right, I'll give it a try.
Let me ask you guys a question.
If D.
J.
was picking on me, what would you do? Anybody? These guys are duds.
- Hi, Steph.
- You found him! - Steph, let me explain-- - Mr.
Bear, you had me worried half to-- Who is this? The real Mr.
Bear had a little scar where I closed the toy box on his nose.
- This bear is an imposter.
- Steph, wait.
I couldn't find Mr.
Bear but I found Mr.
Bear's successful twin brother, Dr.
Bear.
Sorry, Joey.
Could you take him back to the store? Looking at that face is just too painful.
I tried.
Danny, we gotta snap the kid out of this.
I can't understand why she's so attached to that bear.
Well, I guess we better bring these back too.
Too late, Grandpa.
My bear.
Steph, I know you miss Mr.
Bear, but it's not like you're all alone in the world.
You still got us.
I guess so.
Okay, young lady.
I'm tired of this moping around.
Come out here and you lay one of those killer smiles on me.
Okay, come on.
Steph, a real smile.
Mr.
Bear would want you to be happy because that's the kind of bear he was, right? Wherever Mr.
Bear went, I'm sure he's bringing happiness to some other kid.
That's true.
He was very good at that.
He's been making me happy since I met him.
I remember the exact day.
It was when Mom came home from the hospital with our baby sister, Michelle.
That's right.
She gave D.
J.
a charm bracelet and she gave you Mr.
Bear.
That's why Mr.
Bear is important to you because he was a present from Mom? Oh, yeah.
I forgot Mom gave me Mr.
Bear.
That must be why I love him so much.
You know, after Mom died I could remember everything about her.
How she looked.
Her voice.
The way her perfume smelled.
She used to sing to us at bedtime.
Now, it's getting harder and harder to remember.
Daddy, am I gonna forget all about Mama? No, honey.
Listen, at first, after the car accident we talked about your mom all the time.
But lately, well.
Maybe the reason we haven't talked about your mom is because we're afraid it'd bring that pain back.
Maybe so.
Know what, girls? You know what I do when I start to miss Pam and I'm feeling sad and stuff? I just think about all the good times.
She was a great sister.
I remember my first junior high school dance.
Thanks to John Travolta, I had to get a white suit and learn The Hustle.
She worked with me the whole weekend.
Forty-eight hours of dancing to "Disco Inferno.
" She must have really loved me.
God, I loved her.
And your mom had that great laugh.
It was contagious.
Every time I'd work on new material, I'd bring her down to the club.
Used to set her right in the front row.
Pretty soon she'd start laughing then she'd have the whole place cracking up.
It was great.
I remember her laugh.
Like, every time we sang that silly song with Mom.
Oh, yeah.
On top of spaghetti All covered with cheese I lost my poor meatball When somebody sneezed [FAKE SNEEZES] You see? You girls don't ever have to worry about forgetting your mom because you can think about those happy times whenever you want.
That's right.
See the key thing is to keep happy memories of Pam in our hearts.
That way, she'll always be with us.
You know another thing that helps me remember? I see so much of Pam in you three girls.
D.
J.
, everything you do you try to be the best at.
- That's just like your mom.
- What about me? You know how you get so excited about everything? Yeah, yeah! - That's exactly like your mom.
- All right! Hey, let's not forget little Michelle.
Every time I see this kid giggle, I think of Pam.
[JESSE BABBLING] It's good that we remember Mommy because we have to tell Michelle what she was like.
You know what I'm thinking, girls? It's been a long time since we watched those home movies of Danny's.
What do you say? You guys wanna go look at them? - Yeah, let's go watch them.
- Can we do it now? Are you kidding? If spring-cleaning is my Christmas home movies are my New Year's Eve.
Come on.
I shot this the day your mom came home from the hospital with Michelle.
All right, you guys wait right there.
Danny, get that thing out of my face.
- Smile, Jesse.
- Cut, please-- Maybe I should grow my hair long again, huh? BOTH: Nah.
Get this.
Okay, Pammy, you can come in now.
Hey, anybody order a pizza? Give me my baby, Joey.
You're not a pizza, Michelle.
No, you're a big, beautiful meatball.
Steph, Deej, don't go away.
We got presents for you out in the car.
- Michelle.
- Isn't she pretty? - Hi, Michelle.
- Mom looks like you, D.
J.
She looks like you too.
Oh, what a beautiful baby.
Good news, Danny.
She doesn't look a thing like you.
Don't worry, in a few years from now, you'll laugh at that.
Wrong.
Danny, get a close-up of this gorgeous little face.
Not me, the baby, huh? Say, "Hi, Daddy.
Hi, Daddy.
" Baby! - Michelle, that's you.
- No.
- Yes.
- Cute baby.
Look, there's Mr.
Bear! [IMITATES HORN BLOWING] Mr.
Bear.
In addition to your new beautiful baby sister, you've won something else.
- Presents! - Look how young Mr.
Bear looks.
Great, Joey.
Nice presents.
Mr.
Bear? It's you! It's really you! ALL: All right.
- Michelle, did you hide Mr.
Bear? - Yes.
- How could you do this to me? - I don't know.
Joey, I'm sorry I blamed you.
That doesn't matter.
All that matters is the bear is back.
- Yeah.
D.
J.
: Right.
Look at this.
I'm so glad you're home.
I'm so glad you're both home.
Now we have the three most wonderful daughters in the whole world.
Isn't Mom beautiful? See your uncle there? DANNY [ON TV]: She has my nose.
Hi.
Wave to Daddy.
Hi, Daddy.
We love you.