Gabby Duran & The Unsittables (2019) s01e06 Episode Script

Dia De La Dina

1 (phone ringing, vibrating) (phone continues) Where did I put my phone? (sniffs, gags) Hmm.
(phone continues) Ah.
Oh, no! Dia de la Dina! (theme song playing) Oh, yeah I do normal like a fish rides a bicycle Fit in like summer and an icicle Don't fight it, just be an original Ooh, ooh, ooh I roller skate outside the lines When I try to stay in, it's no surprise It's a fail, it's okay, I'm one of a kind One of a, one of a kind So anytime I feel some type of way Don't understand the human race So what, so what, so what I do my thing, I do my thing You do your thing, You do your thing When we don't fit in We stand out in the crowd and we shout it loud I do my thing, I do my thing I'm the one and only, I'm the one and only Don't try to fit in, Don't try to fit in Mm-hmm, I do my thing And what exactly is Dia de la Dina? It's a special holiday Olivia and I invented for my mom a couple years ago.
We figure since she's a single parent, she deserves more than just Mother's Day, you know? Aw, that's nice.
It was nice.
And then, last year happened.
I saved up my allowance and took Mom and Olivia out to brunch.
Because I wanted to feel like a big shot, I made my mom get the most expensive thing on the menu.
(in slow-mo): She'll have the Clams Casino.
She said they tasted funny, but I insisted she eat the whole tray.
It was my big Dia de la Dina gift, after all.
- (stomach gurgling) - Then, all of a sudden (gags) She tried to find an appropriate place to hurl, but She just couldn't make it.
(splattering) Just to be clear, your mom clam-chowdered all over a baby? And I vowed that day to spend all year finding the perfect gift to make up for it.
- And you immediately forgot? - And then I immediately forgot.
And now Dia de la Dina is tomorrow! Okay, what ideas do you have? Clams Casino? - You got nothing? - I got nothing.
(Sighs) So, last year's Dia de la Dina was - Terrible? - Puke-inducing? An adventure.
But I just wanted to remind the both of you that whatever you decide to get me this year is fine.
It doesn't matter if it's an incredibly impressive macaroni art portrait like Olivia made me last year Or a lovely meal.
(stomach gurgling) Whatever you get me, I will love it.
Because it's from my daughters.
Trust me, Mom, I got you the perfect gift this year.
You're never gonna guess what it is.
But I mean, if you want to guess what the perfect gift was, what would it be and where would you get it? Very funny, Gabby.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a few errands to run.
I'll be back in a little bit.
So, perfect gift, huh? - You better believe it.
- (door closes) Word of advice, sis: There's only room in this family for one great gift-giver.
(whispering): And it's me.
(Orb whirring) (laser zapping) Mmmm.
Oh.
Well, Orb, the time has come.
I've been looking forward to this for the past two years.
My last day on Earth.
It's time for me to return to my beloved Gor-Monia and claim my rightful place as Chief Advisor to the Supreme Leader of the most prestigious planet in the cosmos.
Orb: You will be missed.
Yes, it's bittersweet, but my time on this quaint little rock has come to an end.
Though before I leave, I have some loose ends I must tie up.
Thankfully, I'll be returning home with the one thing that has brought me the greatest joy during my time here.
Orb: Aww, thank you, sir.
A device that has served me well and proved most reliable.
- Orb: I would be honored to - This fancy drinking stick.
Ah.
Mmmm.
Utter perfection.
Uh, uh, uh.
Enough dilly-dallying.
Much to do.
Orb: My revenge will be delicious.
Jeremy, may I speak with you briefly? As you know, the time has come for me to depart Earth.
And while it hasn't always been easy having a reckless, horrible dunderhead such as yourself as my ward, it was a noble undertaking.
I know this might prove difficult for you, but rest assured, my replacement will be top-notch.
And I suppose a tiny, tiny part of me will miss our time together, as well also.
Oh, hey, Principal.
Did you say something? These virtual reality glasses are great, because I can totally ignore you without being rude.
- (video game sound effects) - Ugh.
Not sure what I was expecting there.
Moving on! Come on, there's gotta be something in here! Some clue about what she really wants but wouldn't get herself.
Do you really think we should be going through your mom's stuff like this? I mean, what if one of us accidentally tries on her perfume? (sniffing) Did you try on my mom's perfume? Hey, a closet! Let's, let's look through that.
There's gotta be something in here! - (door opens) - Olivia: Looking for ideas, huh? I thought you said you had the perfect gift.
I do.
I'm just making sure Mom has somewhere to put it.
Because, you know, it's very big and impressive.
Hey, out of curiosity, what, uh, what are you getting her? Sorry, Gabby.
A magician never reveals her secrets.
(phone ringing, vibrating) - (answers phone) - Go for Liv.
Yes, I called about the string quartet for Dina.
Sorry, I have to take this.
Also, it smells like perfume and desperation in here.
Let's keep looking.
Hello.
What do we have here? Looks like some sort of secret keepsake box.
My parents have one of those too.
I'm never looking through that again.
(chuckling) Whoa! It's my mom's most prized possessions.
- What is it? - It's a screenplay.
"Weekends with Cadbury" by Dina Perez.
Wow, maiden name.
Must've been a long time ago.
Your mom wrote a movie script? I think we just found the perfect gift.
We're gonna make my mom's movie.
Think about it: This movie is obviously important to my mom, or she wouldn't have kept it in a keepsake box.
Yeah, she probably always dreamed about making movies, but had to give it up in order to have a family, you know? Kinda like my mom gave up ballet.
She reminds me that I ruined it for her every year when we see The Nutcracker.
Exactly.
So what better gift could there possibly be than her oldest daughter bringing her dreams to life? Now all we need to do is get the day off from school.
All right.
No more putting this off.
I'll tell Gabby goodbye and then I'll be done with it.
Like ripping off a bandage.
A bandage that I've come to respect.
What's good, Swifty? Oh Gabby.
Hello.
I I'm glad you're here.
There's something that I need to talk to you about.
Great, there's something I need to talk to you about too.
I need the day off from school so I can make my mom's screenplay into an epic movie, thereby giving her the greatest gift of all time and redeeming myself for last year's clam debacle.
I don't quite follow.
Nevertheless, Gabby, ever since you agreed to become a babysitter for the alien community, we've really gotten to know each other quite well.
- Yeah, it's been great.
- Yes, it has been great.
And you've been great.
And because you've been so so great It feels like you've got something to say here, Swifty, but I'm kind of on a tight clock, so No, it's fine.
I'll tell you later.
Just go make your movie.
Thanks, Swifty.
You're the best.
I'll tell her later.
"Weekends with Cadbury.
" Scene one, take one.
All right, let's make some magic! And action! (southern accent): I wish I could see the world through your eyes, Cadbury.
Cut! (warbling) What's wrong? Look, Wesley, I love what you're doing.
Really, I do.
But Okay, what's with the accent? Well, I'm envisioning my character raised in the Mississippi Delta.
Southern gentleman.
Look, guys.
This movie is my chance to make my mom something great.
We've already lost a lot of time building the set.
Now, I don't know what Olivia's working on, - but I can tell you that - Olivia: Can you guys keep it down? The doves need their rest before the big performance.
(Gabby sighs) So if I don't want my redemption gift to look like garbage in comparison, then it needs to be perfect.
And that means no southern accents, okay? Got it.
No southern accent.
Good.
Let's do it again.
(warbling) And action.
(Russian accent): Babushka, I wish I could see the world through your eyes.
Cut! (warbling) Hey, I'm getting kind of bored, so I think I'm gonna go wrestle your garden hose for a bit.
Jeremy, we don't have time for I'll let you know who wins.
Next item on the list: "Constructively Criticize School Staff.
" Good day, fellow educators! It is my understanding that constructive criticism is generally appreciated? Is that true? - Larry: Well - Not you, Larry.
I'm looking for a credible source.
Ah, Margaret the Librarian.
I suppose you intend to regale me with another boring story about one of your many cats.
Not the time! - Hey! - Mr.
Falkenberry I'm surprised you're not eating alone in the Science Wing bathroom as is your custom.
Quite gross.
Well, since no one seems willing to give me an honest answer when I'm simply trying to help, I'll just go ahead.
You're all very horrible at your jobs.
(teachers gasping, murmuring) You're welcome.
You're garbage.
I'm on fire! You can't guard me.
Boom, baby! Howard: This is the best you got? "Drop Knowledge on Howard.
" Check ball, Howard.
Ooh.
Bank.
Made a deposit in the bank, Howard.
Hup, hup.
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
You're going to fail P.
E.
today.
Check ball.
Huh! Oh! (kids exclaiming) Tut-tut-tut-tut.
Oh! Huh.
Oh, Howard! Oh! Huh, huh, huh.
Oh, Howard! (all applauding) Howard shows great potential, but he lacks attention to detail.
(Chuckling) Oh! You just got posterized, Howard.
Principal Swish! Pour it in there.
Mmmm.
I quit.
I am your principal no more.
Tell them what you saw here today, Dobek.
I saw a man, but on the court, a God.
Wesley: Please, Cadbury, please! Jeremy's voice: Sorry, Rodrigo! - But what about us? - There is no us! Cut! Cut, cut, cut, cut.
Okay, can we try this again with a little more nuance? Look, I keep telling you, I don't know what that means.
Well, me neither, but I know it's lacking.
(warbling) I think the problem might be that your mom's movie doesn't make any sense.
What are you talking about? Wesley: Well, it started out as a heartfelt tale about a boy and his rabbit, but now that rabbit is a giant killer squirrel and, for some reason, my name changed to Rodrigo.
Yeah.
And it says my character is actually a spirit, but I feel very real, Gabby.
Very real! I gotta be honest, I don't know what this movie is about at all.
Look, this movie makes sense, okay? If it didn't make sense, then it couldn't be the greatest gift of all time.
And it is going to be the greatest gift of all time, so therefore it must make sense! - Does that make sense? - More sense than your mom's movie.
Look, I know this is tough, but think about my mom.
Besides me and Olivia, she has nothing.
She's probably somewhere bawling her eyes out right now.
Snake eyes! Three in a row! Dia de la Dina, baby! Shuffle 'em up, Fernando.
I'm on a heater.
(munching) So, buck up! Because we need to make a movie good enough to slap the taste of Clams Casino out of my mom's mouth for good.
Look, Gabby, I wanna help you, but this is taking a lot longer than you said it would and I gotta get home or I'm gonna get grounded.
Yeah, I think I'm gonna go too.
Because I wanna.
Look, guys, you can't leave! Uh, hello? We still have to shoot the big musical number! I'm sorry, Gabby.
Fine, I'll do this all by myself! I'll stay in this warehouse all night if I have to! (lights powering down) Okay, maybe a couple location changes, but I'm doing this! Scene one, take fifteen.
Check.
Check.
(southern accent): I sure wish I could see the world through your eyes, Cadbury.
Gah, why am I doing a southern accent? (groans) How's your Dia de la Dina gift coming along? Uh, great! Just shooting some retakes.
No biggie.
It's already pretty much the greatest movie ever.
(Chuckles) What's that? Uh, what's what? Oh.
This? Just a stand-in.
Common practice in the film biz.
Cool, cool.
Hey, how many ribbon dancers do you think this ceiling can hold? All right, fine! My gift's a disaster! I really thought I would be able to redeem myself for last year, but I guess not.
So what ridiculously amazing gift did you get her? Actually I got nothing.
These blueprints are accurate but pointless.
What? But what about the string quartet and the doves? I was just trying to psych you out until I came up with a great idea.
But now I'm out of time and I've got nothing.
Hey, we've still got two hours, a camera, and a very realistic sock puppet.
Wanna make a present for Mom together? It doesn't involve clams, does it? - It does not.
- Then I'm in.
"Say Goodbye to Gabby.
" No more putting this off.
(phone chimes) Gabby when you watch this, I will have already begun my journey home to Gor-Monia.
I'm sorry I wasn't able to tell you in person.
(recorded piano music) (southern accent): I wish I could see the world through your eyes, Cadbury.
They say eating carrots is good for your eyesight.
If you eat enough of them, you'll never lose sight of who you really love.
(piano music continues) (Olivia spits) (both laughing on video) Aw, you two made this together? - Yep.
- Check it out.
Gabby / Olivia: A Duran Sisters Joint.
Gosh.
(Sniffles) "Weekends with Cadbury.
" I mean, how'd you even know about this? I found the script in your keepsake box in your closet.
You went through my stuff? Eh, not the point.
The point is, it was such a great script, I knew I had to make it.
Oh, yeah? You really liked it? (scoffs) Liked it? It was unlike anything I've ever read.
Yeah, I understood all of it.
Girls, I get it.
The script is terrible.
- Oh, I'm so glad you said that.
- It made zero sense.
I only kept it because it was so bad that it started me in a new direction.
That's how I found a career I actually love: Being a newscaster.
But do you know what I love even more? Is being your mom.
This is the best Dia De La Dina gift I could have ever asked for.
- I wanna watch it again.
- (phone dings) Sure thing.
Give me one second.
I'll be right back.
Cross my heart and promise you Your secret's safe with me Principal Swift: Gabby, when you watch this, I will have already begun my journey home to Gor-Monia.
I'm sorry I wasn't able to tell you in person.
My replacement should arrive within 24 hours to aid you in your babysitting duties.
I wish I'd had the courage to tell you I was leaving face-to-face.
Our working relationship Dare I say, friendship Was one of the best things about my time on Earth.
Friends like us (phone beeps off) Friends like us Friends like us (whirring from above) (whooshing) (warbling) (laughing) Yes! Yes! Yes! (laughing) (ship beeping) Principal Swift: Greetings, Glor-Bron the Eighth.
Heeeyyy, buddy! How's every little thing? Um Oh, fine, I suppose.
Great! Great! Uh, is this my transport? It's rather small.
Also, when will my replacement arrive? Yeah.
About that.
We found you a great replacement.
Supes cool dude.
Well, I suppose that's good news.
He will have his hands full here on Earth.
Yeah, I mean, everyone loves him.
He's got a sick sense of humor, but never takes it over the line.
It's a delicate balance, but he strikes it.
- All right.
- Anywho The thing is, we kinda want to keep him on Gor-Monia, so we're gonna need you to stay down there a while longer.
But but but I'm supposed to be the Chief Advisor! The Supreme Leader needs me! I know.
Plans, am I right? (laughing) Anyway, I gotta run.
But you look great.
Keep up the good work, Jeremy, those reports! Wanna hear more about those Hemsworth brothers.
"Team Liam"! Late-ski! (whooshing) No! Take me with you! (warbling) Don't leave me here! No! (chuckling) Oh, thank you! You were only kidding! What a cruel joke! (Chuckling) - (ship zapping) - No! Not my fancy drinking stick! - (Principal yelping) - (ship whooshing) Nooooooooooooo! (sobbing) Next time on Gabby Duran and the Unsittables (crying): Your planet, mine Everywhere I turn, no one wants me.
Orb: When something traumatic happens to a Gor-Mon, they enter thought-darkness.
- Gabby: How do we fix him? -Orb: No one knows.
My life is pointless! Well that's new.
Gorgeous!