Gadget Man (2012) s01e05 Episode Script

Body Beautiful

1 Hello, I'm Stephen Fry and I have adored gadgets ever since I was knee high to a Space Hopper.
BOUNCING SOUND Gadgets entertain us, they connect us, they educate us, they impress us and, of course, sometimes, they frustrate us.
But, whichever way you look at them, they make the world a much, much better, and, dare I say, happier place.
'So come into my world as I, along with some of my friends, 'reveal a feast of magnificent gadgets 'that will provide for a fun and stress free existence.
' Ah, it's taking me to a happy place.
'Tonight, it's all about the gadgets that will make you fit, 'healthy and beautiful with the bare minimum of effort.
' Wow, these are good moves.
You are throwing some shapes here.
LAUGHTER 'I'll get a gadget face lift from Essex's favourite beautician.
' Amy Childs has done that nose for you.
(LAUGHS) I've got Amy Childs' nose! 'And I'll try to build a fitness machine 'that will let even an old pudding like me beat an Olympic Champion.
' Is that not cheating? (LAUGHS) (CHANTING) Stephen Fry, Stephen Fry, Stephen Fry! (YAWNS) Did you ever wake up feeling you'd a had a horrible night's sleep? Well, now, the ZEO Sleep Manager tracks your every move and can ohconfirm it.
'You wear this headband to bed.
'Sensors then turn the electrical signals produced by your brain 'into a graph, which you can analyse in the morning.
'Green bars indicate periods of good sleep, 'blue is light sleep 'and red shows when you were awake - 'and there's far too much red there for my liking.
'My morning health check continues 'with these Wi-Fi scales, 'which shame you into dieting 'by publishing your weight directly to Twitter.
' I hate you 'There's one final innovation that can tell you 'what sort of shape you're in - the Cardio app.
'It uses your phone's camera to measure your pulse 'by analysing how much light is reflected off your face.
'Then, it estimates your life expectancy.
' Terrifying new exclusive.
I'm going to live till I'm 68 years old.
I've got 13 years left on this planet.
Super(!) Nice to know.
(SIGHS) I wonder, in the world of gym technology, if there isn't some fitness gadget that might help me perhaps even push the barriers and make it to 70.
Well, I'm off to the gym and I'm going to go on my Ferrari.
'I'm meeting three fitness fanatics to help me test some gadgets 'that promise to make that quest for a longer life and perfect body 'a little bit more achievable.
'Firstly, there's BitGym - 'a free app which takes the boredom out of gym exercise 'by giving you a virtual view to look at.
' So I'm now cycling, passing people! 'You simply rest a tablet or phone on a treadmill or exercise bike.
'Your device detects the vibrations 'and speeds up or slows down the footage accordingly, 'to keep the experience realistic.
'The harder you push, the faster you travel through the virtual world.
' Do you think that helps you? Do you think that kind of actually motivates you to exercise more? I felt really relaxed.
I felt like I wasn't riding a bike, I was just enjoying where I was going in the That's the key, isn't it? And, girls? It'd be nice to get a beach one that takes you on the beach, that would be nice.
Absolutely, Ipanema or something like that, absolutely.
Yeah, definitely.
Lost of boys in rather skimpy outfitsor girls.
LAUGHTER 'Our next workout comes courtesy of a console game - 'Zumba Fitness Core.
' Zumba! 'It tones your body and builds stamina 'through a selection of dance routines.
'More likely to bust a hip than bust a move, 'I'm letting Zoe and Sarah take the lead.
' Oh, I'm impressed! With our moves or with the machine? - No, yours! - (LAUGH) Hot! Oh, I like it hot! These are good moves.
You are throwing some shapes here.
We're trying! 'The Xbox Kinect camera tracks your shimmying in real time.
'The more accurately you replicate the Zumba moves shown on screen, 'the more points you score.
' I'm very impressed.
Is it the kind of thing you'd do if you had it at home? (BOTH) Definitely.
Yes, definitely.
Definitely? It's really good fun to do with your friends or if you want to work out Because what for me is so great about this whole new side to getting fit is that you can be involved in a story.
I mean, to me, the ideal treadmill would be a James Bond adventure where I was being chased by a villain or I was chasing a villain and, you know, I can actually move and hide round corners and do stuff.
(CHUCKLES) Instead of just going You know, I'm sure this will happen more and more.
What?! 'My final offering is the Nexersys virtual sparring partner.
' Oh, he didn't like that! 'The seven red pads contain accelerometers, 'and information about how hard you hit them, 'how accurate you are, 'and how many calories you burn are displayed on the screen.
' - Get him in the goolies! - (LAUGHS) 'This pro model costs £6,000 - 'but there's also a domestic version available for half the price.
' That was really good! If you were like a hedge fund dealer or someone with unlimited money, would you have one at home? 100%! 100%? In 30 seconds, I'm as tired as I am after about an hour in the gym.
It's a hell of a workout, isn't it? It is, yeah.
Raise your right-hook-o-metre to this machine, then.
Oh, wow! LAUGHTER 'So we've seen how gadgets can help you work out more efficiently.
'Now, here's something 'that can take the hardship of exercise away altogether.
' What's so special about you? I'll start it up like any other.
I don't know if you can see this swelling up.
It's quite extraordinary, it's like an Edwardian woman's skirt ballooning underneath her.
Oh! Going up in the air onto my tippy-toe.
'Using technology developed to train NASA astronauts, 'this treadmill increases the air pressure 'around the lower half of your body 'to support your weight.
' That's insane! I'm actually skipping on my toes.
'Used by top sports teams like Arsenal, 'the feeling of weightlessness 'encourages a greater range of movement 'and reduces the impact on joints.
' You're still burning the calories, but what you're doing is improving your hips and your knees' life expectancy.
So you can go further and faster somehow.
I wonder if there's a way of harnessing that in a race and winning Maybe cheating, but Mmm 'Rewind history and it's clear that for years we've strived 'to build machines that make exercise easy.
'The girls of 1940s America were told 'these rather brutal-looking mechanised fat removers 'would give them toned bodies.
'But they were more like instruments of torture.
'One of the first attempts at creating equipment 'that worked with the body's natural movements came from Germany.
' 'Of all exercise apparatus that recent years have brought, 'surely none has attained such worldwide favour 'as the Athletic Wheel' 'Shame they were a little on the impractical side.
'I'm a much bigger fan of these more recent devices, 'which ingeniously magnify a very small amount of human effort 'into impressive speed and strength.
' 'This idea was actually inspired by the kangaroo.
'It allows you to run up to 20 miles an hour 'with less stress on your body.
' Yes, I think that's what I'll do - build myself some kind of supergadget that will propel me faster than I could otherwise go and I'll test it by challenging one of Britain's greatest ever athletes and I know just the woman.
'It's my old friend and double Olympic gold medallist, 'Dame Kelly Holmes.
' Hey, Kelly! 'Hello!' Um, listen.
It occurred to me that you would be the ideal person to challenge to a race.
Now (CHUCKLES) You probably know I'm not the fastest man in the world.
BUT I have a gadget that I think might put me on equal terms with you using my own pedal power.
Are you up for it? 'Oh, OK.
I better start training now.
' (LAUGHS) Fantastic! I'll see you in a few days and we'll make it as public as possible.
How about Trafalgar Square? 'Oh, perfect! Deal! Wow.
' It's a deal.
I wouldn't be too frightened.
(CHUCKLES) Lovely seeing you.
'Bye!' Bye.
Well, there we go.
It's a fait accompli, it will happen.
And may the best athlete win, or rather, may the bestthe best devised gadget win.
'The Gadget Man Athletics division are on the case, 'converting a traditional gym treadmill 'into something that will save me years of training 'and hopefully make me a match for Dame Kelly in a race.
'Still to come - 'Amy Childs uses gadgets to make a silk purse out of a sow's ear.
' If you think you've got a wonky nose, this is going to straighten it out in no time.
It's vibrating.
Tickly! 'And I find out if technology can make me faster than an Olympian.
' Is that not cheating? (LAUGHS) (CHANTING) Stephen Fry, Stephen Fry! I should be able to destroy her! (LAUGHS) I've been investigating the gadgets that can help you achieve the body beautiful by making getting fit easy.
That's insane! I'm actually skipping on my toes.
Of course, getting fit is just one part of achieving the body beautiful.
It's also rather lovely if you can look fit as well.
And there are any number of ways that you can help yourself look more beautiful.
Did you know the average British woman spends over £130,000 in her life, on cosmetic products.
And what better woman to help me investigate some of these products than the nation's favourite Essex Girl - Amy Childs.
Lie down and let you loose.
Have a nice relax.
Thank you.
I'll have a nice relax.
(LAUGHS) - Stephen, are you nice and comfortable? - Blissfully.
The first stage of my gadget face lift involves the Wrinkle MD.
This treatment is amazing for anti-wrinkle.
I think this is a good treatment cos some people can't afford botox.
It's actually quite relaxing.
Yes, I don't think I'd ever go for botox.
'The patches infuse the skin with hyaluronic acid.
' Close your eyes, Stephen.
'It works deeper than a normal cream you rub in, 'and will apparently smooth over the cracks in a 40-minute session.
' - How's it feeling? - It's tingling extraordinarily.
It's a nice feeling.
And you're relaxed? Very relaxed.
Next one - it's not that relaxing.
Oh, my goodness! 'This Japanese invention is called the Beauty Lift High Nose.
' If you think you've got a wonky nose, this is going to straighten it out in no time.
My nose now.
There - bent.
See? Bent.
It's going to look like you've had a nose job.
In about five minutes.
OK, so what I'm going to do 'You use it every day, and its vibrations are supposed to 'stimulate the nasal bone and give you a surgery-free nose job.
' BUZZING Oh, I see! (LAUGHS) It's vibrating.
Tickly! Thank goodness I haven't got a cold or I'd sneeze.
OK, so the next one is amazing for cheekbones.
People want really high cheekbones now and it really lifts your skin.
So it's really quite high.
A lot of people have, as I said, cheek implants.
Cheek implants are about £5,000.
This is quick and easy and will give you, as I say, an amazing tightening treatment.
Oh, I see.
So it pulls me up like that.
Good gracious! '10 minutes of facial exercises a day with the Houreisen Face Mask on, 'is apparently enough to keep sagging cheeks at bay.
'Meanwhile Amy's found something else to beautify.
' You better have nice feet, Stephen.
Well, they should be fresh and clean, if not nice.
D'you know, I love doing feet.
I'm a massive feet person.
Oh, good! So, Stephen, this is your Pedipro.
This is amazing for hard skin.
Oh, yes! Oh, this is gorgeous.
It's rotating micro crystals.
Good gracious! Oh, that burns.
(LAUGHS) Is that tickling you? It burns on the toes.
It means it's working.
Oh, that's good.
'With the dry skin on my feet shaved off, 'there's time to test one final treatment.
'Non-surgical liposuction with the CaviSculpt.
'It claims results in just 30 minutes, 'so let's compare me before and after.
' And we read the terrible news is - 42, actually.
42 inches.
- OK.
'This machine is designed for home use.
'It uses ultrasound to break down stubborn fat cells.
' People have this on their bum, on their thighs.
Heavens! And the fat molecules are then, how shall I put this - "passed out" the next time one visits the lavatory.
How do you keep in shape? Do you use these treatments and eat well and exercise? I use everything.
I eat sensible I tone, I train.
But when you have this treatment done, I'd recommend to eat sensible.
Drink loads of water, not to go and have McDonalds or KFC.
No, quite.
Eat properly is the key.
Have you ever had any work done to your face? I had a little bit of lip surgery.
Only a little bit cos I like a bit of a pout.
You know when you have pictures done, I had quite big lips anyway.
So it was enough.
I have had my, um, boobs done.
Have you? Yeah.
I was 18.
At least you haven't overdone it.
That's the embarrassing thing, when people addicted to it, don't they? And then they become embarrassing.
- I'd be addicted.
- No.
Never in a million years would I be addicted.
So, do you have treatments done? Do you have your eyebrows waxed? I'm afraid I don't.
Sometimes if I'm staying in a hotel and there's a spa, I'll go and have a hot stone massage or something.
I like that, very lovely.
Um, but not much else.
'With our 30 minutes up, has the Cavisculpt shaved off any inches?' That's bizarre! That is 41.
Told you.
How much, half an inch? Yeah.
Well, that is That is still better.
That's bizarre.
Can't be Look, you've lost half an inch.
'Waistline tightened, it's time to see 'whether my facial adornments have worked their magic too.
' How does that feel? - It feels fine, it feels nice.
- Does it feel tight? Um, yes, I can feel where it's pulled.
You know, it's definitely pulled up.
Right, you might have a new nose now.
(LAUGHS) All my life I've dreamt of such a thing.
How's my nose look? Look at that! Amy Childs has done that nose for you.
(LAUGHS) I've got Amy Childs' nose! 'And has Amy cured my crinkles?' D'you know what, I can honestly say you look really good here.
You actually look like you've had a bit ofbotox, can I say? - Oh, right! - Would you have it done again? Certainly.
Like in a New York minute, as they say.
- Perfect.
- That's wonderful! Back at the Gadget Man workshops, the finishing touches are being made to my fitness super-gadget - something that should let me dodge years of training and instantly give me the ability to beat double Olympic gold medallist Dame Kelly Holmes.
Our 100m race will be staged in London's Trafalgar Square.
It's the ideal arena to demonstrate that gadgets can make fitness fun, and most importantly - easy.
But what I hadn't reckoned on was hundreds of spectators turning up to watch me prove the point.
CHEERING Dame Kelly Holmes.
Long time favourite heroine.
How are you? - Very well, thanks.
- Trembling in your boots, I hope.
Oh, yes.
I've been training for this moment.
At high altitude? On the roof of your house.
- Absolutely.
- Be afraid, be very afraid! But before any great race comes the warm up, and I want Kelly to try out my favourite gadget from the cavalcade of devices available on the high street that you can strap to your feet.
These I think you know.
Do you want to have a go? - Yeah.
- I think these are the large ones.
- OK.
'These are the Kangoo Jumps, 'and they're billed as the world's lowest impact shoes.
' These were developed in the physiotherapy arena because people had injured themselves, they could exercise and build up muscles without impact.
As you know, one of the things about jogging is, it's a very high impact thing, especially urbanjogging.
These are hard work as well.
Really hard work.
You spend all the calories and you do all the cardiovascular work that your doctor would approve of, but with 80% less impact on your knees.
80%, really? That's great.
You get a really good workout for far less damage to your body.
And then we go.
And then you can start You see, it's a good feeling.
It feels really fun! 'As you run the springy plastic base compresses, 'cleverly absorbing your impact on the ground.
' - These are all right.
These are good.
- These are fun.
'Don't think they're toys either - they're based on a science 'called rebounding, that reduces fat and increases agility.
' So that's a really I really love these.
They're brilliant, aren't they? It's a really cushiony, comfortable feel.
- Yep.
- You're doing the real The same distance covered is expending the same calories but it just doesn't feel like it.
I'm exhausted! 'The warm up's over so it's time to reveal my ultimate running gadget - 'the thing that will hopefully propel me past a professional.
'I want all of the glory, with none of the training.
' I think you should see what you're up against.
This is my super-gadget.
The gadgeto di tutti gadgeti.
Um, I call it the Fry Treadmaster Deluxe.
All right! (LAUGHS) Now you may say that's just an ordinary treadmill.
Is that not cheating? - No! It's my own feet that power it after all.
- OK.
'My engineering team have modified the treadmill 'so that any running motion on the belt spins a set of gears 'which should magnify my efforts and quickly drive the wheels.
' Does it have brakes? That's a brake.
It's basically a bicycle brake.
'And with a steering column added, 'I can drive my chariot wherever I want.
' I'm optimistic, and yet at the same time quite desperately afraid.
A lot of children there that I could easily kill who are shouting my name.
Which makes it very unnerving.
(ALL) Stephen Fry! Stephen Fry! Stephen Fry! OK, so it's literally start to finish.
That's the idea - first to breast the tape, I believe is the phrase.
'We're under starter's orders.
'Kelly's looking confident, 'but with that partisan crowd on my side, I'm ready for anything.
' I should be able to destroy her! (LAUGHS) (ALL) Stephen Fry! Stephen Fry! Stephen Fry! Go! Eat my dust, you dame! Come on! - Come on! - Oh, no! Come on! Chariots of Fire Well done.
Gold to you, silver to me.
Well I have to say I was expecting just a little more competition, Stephen.
'I'm afraid my prototype wasn't really up to the job.
'The principle was sound 'but my humble calves needed an easier gear to make a quick getaway.
' Dame Kelly Holmes, you have got a medal for that supreme performance.
Man versus machine.
Mankind, I should say, and you've won for womankind.
I'm sure this is the most precious medal you've ever won.
Well, I think it's the easiest medal I've ever won, Stephen.
I was expecting just a little bit more challenge.
But it's kept my pride as an Olympian, so I'm very happy.
I'm happy, too.
Thanks for taking part.
Well, clearly there are plenty gadgets and machines out there that can help me rebuild and reshape my body, but there is one essential ingredient that's missing and that's the will for me to make myself fit and until they can come up with a gadget that makes me want to be an elite athlete, then I'll have carry on trying to cheat my way into sporting greatness.
'Hey-ho ho ho, in fact, 'because next time on Gadget Man get your stockings ready.
' This year Furby is back.
'It's a festive, seasonal, Yuletide, winter wonderland special, 'where I will be unwrapping 'the greatest Christmas gadgets from past '.
and present.
' My favourite Christmas gadget is a lovely Christmas donkey.
And when you waggle its ears, a cigarette comes out of its bum.
Happy Christmas.
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