Gamer's Guide To Pretty Much Everything (2015) s01e10 Episode Script

The Incident

Aw, man, look at my class schedule.
They're not letting me take wood shop again.
Last year, you smashed five kids' bird houses.
My project was the smashin' bat.
And it worked.
Now I'm in some dumb art class.
I'm in that art class! It's gonna be great.
We're gonna paint, make ceramics, and clay sculptures.
You're gonna need to get your supplies.
I already got 'em.
It's called a smashin' bat.
- Hey, Billy.
- Did you guys finish making up the flyer for the dance contest? Sure did.
I posted it online, and Ashley's been putting them under the windshield wipers of cars.
Which is pretty hard.
That last guy was going, like, 40.
This is so weird.
People rushing in to Billy's.
I'm surprised people are so excited for a $50 grand prize.
- You mean 50,000.
- Uh, no, I mean 50.
Oh, no, no, no, no! We're reporting live from Billy the Squid's.
Call me Billy.
I watch you every night, Marla.
Oh, so you're a fan of the news.
What news? I don't have a television.
So you're hosting your first dance contest, and I gotta ask.
- Is this prize amount for real? - Yeah, man.
I'm offering 50 big ones, guaranteed.
Wow! That is so generous.
Well, you heard him.
It's for real.
Even I might put on my dancing shoes to win a $50,000 prize.
Back to you in the studio.
Thank you guys so much! Did she say $50,000? 1x10 - The Incident I just guaranteed a $50,000 grand prize? - How does this happen? - I have no idea.
Okay, flyer's pretty much done.
I just need to know what the prize amount is.
Ha ha, 50,000! - Seems like a lot.
Are you sure? - Yes, yes, yes, yes! All right, calm down! Thanks for your help.
Now I'm gonna lose my restaurant.
Okay, we gotta fix this.
And we can't call if off.
Look at all the teams that have already signed up.
Wait a minute, you signed up for this, too? Uh, yeah.
It's a $50,000 prize.
That's genius, Ashley! If you win, Billy can keep the prize money, - and the restaurant is saved.
- That's totally why I signed up.
Well, do you really believe you can win? I'm the best dancer at Mrs.
King's Dance Academy.
Her motto is, "you don't have to think to dance.
" Then you must be awesome.
But it's a team competition.
It has to be two or more.
Then I'll just find a dance partner.
Trust me, I got this.
I may not got this.
I heard our new art teacher, Miss Dumpler, - used to work at the museum.
- Dumpler? Ugh.
I wonder what hole she crawled out of.
Apparently she crawled out a pretty hole.
Hi, everyone.
I'm your teacher, Miss Dumpler.
Yeah, you are.
Welcome to our school, Miss Dumpler.
I'm Wendell Ruckus.
The one thing you should know about me I love art.
What are you people looking at? You don't know what I love.
I'm never gonna find a dance partner.
Billy's gonna be out $50,000, - and oh, great, the roaches are back.
- Oh! There was one on the wall.
Whoa! Agility, coordination.
If you didn't think all the time, - you'd be a great dancer.
- Me, dance? Why would I dance? I don't dance.
Get off my back! Hey, check out my homework.
I painted a beautiful songbird sitting on the branch of an oak tree in a dewy meadow.
Cover it up! It's horrible! Okay, maybe I'm no Pablo Pistachio.
What do you got? Just a little something I threw together on the bus.
That thing is stinkin' majestic! Oof.
Looking at this waterfall's got my bladder barking.
Can you turn this in for me? Yeah.
You have fun in there now.
All right, let's see your assignments, my young visionaries.
What do you have to share, Wendell? Oh, just a little something I threw together on the bus.
That thing is stinkin' majestic! - So you can dance! - Wha-a-at? No.
That wasn't dancing.
That was that was a little bop.
- A tiny bop.
- Conor Okay, fine.
I used to dance, and I was great.
When I busted a move, it stayed busted.
But that was a lifetime ago.
Before the incident.
Oh, no! No more looking off into space.
Just tell me what happened.
It started where bad things always seem to start.
An abandoned factory in the meat packing district? Uh, yeah.
That's exactly right.
It was where the best of the best came to compete at a hot new arcade game called Dance Dance Riot.
I was on the final level, and I knew if I was gonna get the high score, I'd have to pull off the most dangerous move in the history of the game.
He's going for the Retro 8! Nooo! So what happened to that skinny gamer? Teddy? All I heard was that he went to the hospital, and never gamed again.
I swore right then my dancing days were over.
Well, that was the past.
It's our fault that Billy's gonna lose his business, so it's time for you to man up and dance! Oh, hey, Miss Dumpler.
Just doing some kick-butt sculpting between classes.
You're an artist just like me, Wendell.
We both got something inside of us that's fighting to get out.
Uh, let me guess.
You had the fish sticks for lunch, too.
I host an art night here at school, - and I'd love it if you joined me.
- I love you.
I mean, I'd love to.
Rekt! Step, step, kick and back.
Okay, let's try it with some music.
Yeah, okay.
I can do this.
I see you're dancing again.
Don't worry about me.
My life's already ruined.
I will haunt you till Is that the phantom copter from Stealth Ops 3? Okay, we still have some work to do.
Do you have any ideas on our big finish? You never even said you were sorry.
I will haunt you forever.
Well, that seems a little big, but I'll try it.
Hey, gamers.
So I'm officially being haunted by the memory of the guy I once kicked down a trash chute.
That's why I can't do anything until I track Teddy down and give him a long-overdue apology.
Hey, stop looking at me! You can't see him, but trust me, he's there.
Oh! Oh, now you're mooning me?! Yeah, real mature, ghost.
Teddy? Teddy! - Conor.
- Wha Hey, I know you.
You're that cage fighter, Bulldog Thornton.
Thirty-seven knockouts, 15 tap-outs, one win by butt smother.
Oh no Teddy sent you to hurt me.
I am Teddy.
Teddy Bulldog Thornton.
There's something I've been waiting to give you.
No, no, no! My lungs are collapsing.
I can't breathe.
My ribs are snapping one by one.
You gotta let me go.
Oh, you did let me go.
I wanted to give you a hug, 'cause you, little dude, changed my life.
I did? How? After the fall, I was laid up in the hospital with my TV stuck on an infomercial for the Body Bulk Builder.
That's when I decided I wasn't gonna be that skinny kid always getting kicked around.
So when I got out, I hit the weights, and turned myself into this.
And this.
And this right here.
- Look at it.
- That is.
I thought what I did to you was so horrible, - I never forgave myself.
- Well, now you can.
It's because of you that the Bulldog married Miss Papaya Tropic, and drives one of them cool three-wheeled motorcycles.
- Those aren't cool at all.
- What's that? Uh Miss Papaya Tropic, huh? Score! So I've been living with this guilt, but maybe it's okay that I dance.
I can save Billy's.
Oh, no, I'm never gonna make it there in time.
- I can get you there.
Hop on.
- All right.
Uh, I meant the motorcycle.
Yeah, that makes a lot more sense.
Hey, hon.
I got these for you.
They looked good until I crashed my bike into a hot dog cart.
Flowers and dinner.
Classy move.
Shall we peruse the art? Ah, sure, let's check out some of this junk.
I'll catch up.
What are you doing here? I always come to art night.
I hope one day to be the featured artist.
- But until then, I will drink - Yeah, yeah, drink it in.
There's some trees, a sad clown, and shapes.
Yeah, good art night.
See ya.
And now, for the moment we're all waiting for, our featured artist, Wendell Ruckus! Thank you, thank you.
Beautiful, Wendell.
What was your inspiration? Well, sometimes, when you're in the art zone, it feels like it's not even you painting.
Hey, I got an idea.
Why don't you paint us another masterpiece - right now? - Well, I have nothing to paint, so How about a portrait of Miss Dumpler? Oh, you must.
Paint me.
Okay, guys, I'm ready to dance.
This is great news, Conor is what I would've said if you were here 15 minutes ago before we lost.
Those kids from Yuba won the contest, and Billy had to pay them.
It's not over yet.
I have an idea.
It's been two hours.
Let's see what you have.
I'm not done.
It needs more art.
Told you I wasn't done.
It's hideous.
Is that what you think of me? It's not my fault.
I ran out of blue.
Ho, ho, ho! Wendell is a phony.
He stole my painting.
You make me sick.
He's right.
He just painted over the signature.
Well, let's not worry about that.
Let's keep our focus on this big phony.
- Barney Delgado? - Barney Delgado isn't that your dead, weird uncle? Wha ? Fine.
I found a bunch of his paintings in the basement.
Ho, ho, ho! Who's the phony now? You make me sick.
Come on, Dumpler, let's get out of here.
No, no, you are both kicked out of art class.
You're frauds.
Oh, come on! You made me fail a class for the first time.
- You ruined my date.
- Date? No, not my water lilies.
I worked on that for six months.
Oh, sorry! I'll clean it up! No, no, don't wipe it.
Herbert Gabler? Ho, ho, ho! Oh, I get how this art thing works.
We're checking the signatures on all the paintings.
- I didn't think you'd show.
- Oh, we're here, and we're ready.
Double or nothing.
Where'd you get all that money? I sold every piece of gaming gear I had.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever done for me.
I'll hold onto this money so you know it's safe, they know it's safe and everybody knows We'll hold onto that.
Now let's do this.
I don't think we can beat them.
Well, you know what? You really should've told me that before I sold everything I owned! Aw, yeah.
You have been served.
What you got? Game on.
I can't believe it.
We did it.
I don't care if you won.
We're keeping the money.
I thought you might say that.
So you guys wanna give my friends their money back? Their money back.
Or do you wanna take a little trip down the chute? - Right down the chute.
- All right, man, chill, chill.
Thanks, guys.
I'll never forget - what you done for me.
- Well, you're welcome.
We got you into trouble, so we had to get you out.
I am so happy, I could dance.
Jamaican style.
- Uh, Billy, careful.
- You're getting very close to the Chuuute!
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