Garfield and Friends (1988) s06e13 Episode Script

(Narrator) Ladies and gentlemen, Garfield and Friends. (drumroll)
We're, we're ♪
Ready, ready ♪
To, to ♪
Party
We're ready to party we're ready ♪
I hope you bring lots of spaghetti ♪
Come on in come to the place where fun never ends ♪
Come on in it's time to party with Garfield and Friends ♪
Dancing, fiesta ♪
Romancing, siesta ♪
Samba, la bamba, ay caramba ♪
Disguises disguises ♪
Surprises surprises ♪
And pies of, and pies of, all sizes ♪
Come on in come to the place where fun never ends ♪
Come on in it's time to party with Garfield and Friends ♪
Come on in it's time to party with Garfield and Friends ♪
Garfield and Friends
(Garfield) And keep watching, or we'll have to change
into a shopping network and sell bad jewelry.
(upbeat theme music)
Hold still, boy, a brand new collar
and a brand new ID tag.
This is the 93rd one of these I've bought you.
Try not to lose this one, huh?
It'll be gone in an hour.
(snoring)
(whining)
Oh, it's you.
I thought it was someone.
(whining)
There is no chance in the world that I'm gonna
throw the stick so you can fetch it.
(whining)
Okay, we'll do this the clever way.
Wanna play hide and seek, Odie?
Yeah, yeah.
Find a real good hiding place.
I'll count to a hundred then come after you.
(sigh)
(snores)
(laughs)
(snores)
You didn't think I was gonna go look for him, did ya?
(snores)
(laughs)
(groans)
And, um, my teacher says, she says I have excellent
reading and writing skills, but I need to work more
on getting along with others.
That's nice, dear.
Oh, and, Father, she also says that I need to--
(yelping) (gasp)
Oh, Father, look at the cute puppy.
Oh, can I have a puppy, please?
Oh, please, can I, can I?
All the other kids have puppies,
and since you're always going away on business.
Becky, we have been through this a hundred times,
the answer is no.
Now don't you give me that face, young lady.
That face right there.
Dogs are messy, dirty creatures and I won't have one
in our home.
Now I'm going to stop in here for some gum.
You wait right here and when I come out,
I don't wanna hear another word about any dogs.
Yes, Father.
(grunts)
(thud)
Oh, look at you.
Oh, the sweetest little pup-ski.
You are the cutest puppy in the whole wide world.
Where did you come from, cute puppy?
I'm gonna take you home with me, puppy.
I don't care what Father says.
Who are you talking to, Becky dear?
Uh, just um, one of my dollies.
Yeah, one of my dollies.
Mm hm, which one did you bring today?
They are making dolls a lot uglier than they did
when I was a kid.
Alright, now you run along and play, my dear,
while I check the stock market and, (sniffs)
what is that awful smell?
I have been smelling it ever since I stopped for gum.
It's nothing, Father.
No, it smells like a dog that's been riding
in a garbage truck.
See what you almost did?
Now I'm gonna have to give you a bath.
(whines)
You are getting a bath, and that's that.
And we'll put in some lavender scent bath oils too.
Won't that be nice?
Huh uh.
Oh give it up, you're getting a bath and that's that.
(splash)
(laughs)
You look funny.
There, now you smell all clean and yummy.
What would you like to do now, puppy?
Puppy, come back.
Uh oh.
There you are.
I don't want you to leave me the way Father always does.
Father's always going away on business
and leaving the maid and the chauffer to take care of me.
They're okay, but I want someone to play with, like a puppy.
Like you.
Becky.
Father.
Father, this is the toy puppy I found in the street.
Oh, I can see that.
Silly looking toy.
The head is obviously hollow.
Oh.
Is that why you want a puppy?
I never dreamed--
Well, I guess we'll just have to get you one.
You mean it, Father?
Yes, and call me Daddy, why don't you?
Oh, sure thing, Daddy.
Uh, uh, uh, but Daddy, um.
No, Becky, this toy you found belongs to someone.
Their address is on the collar.
(Becky) Yeah, but, uh.
Also, Becky, I'm going to talk with my office
about my schedule.
Maybe I have been away from home a little too much.
Jeeves, take this to the address marked on it.
I'll drive Becky to the pet store myself.
Very well, sir.
(yawns)
What a wonderful sleep, 16 hours.
Love those short naps.
I wonder if I should actually go try to find
where Odie's hiding?
Nah, I'll do it next month.
(door bell chimes)
Who could that be?
Maybe I ordered a pizza in my sleep.
What's this?
Maybe it's something edible.
(barks)
Okay, okay, okay. (slurps)
So I found you, enough already.
You want me to hide and then you'll seek?
Yeah.
Okay, you count to a hundred and then come find me.
Hey, the way he counts,
I've got time for another 16-hour nap.
(slow deep music)
(violin music)
(slow deep music)
(violin music)
(drum roll)
You can't stop what you don't see.
This wall, for example.
(chilly music)
Oh, cold, oh it's s-s-s-so c-c-cold is it.
If I were any c-c-colder,
I could legally be declared a TV dinner.
I would almost fly south for the winter if I could fly.
And I knew which way south was.
How can anyone stand this kind of cold?
Surf's up guys, cowabunga.
Me thinks our dear friend, Orson,
has flipped like a bad flapjack.
Looks like he's about one brick short of a fireplace.
Come on.
I came here as usual to steal some chickens,
but I gotta find out what this is all about too.
Wahoo, what great waves.
I'm hangin' 10, er, ah, four.
You know it's always sad when it happens
to someone you know.
Orson, what's going on here?
What is it?
Whoa!
Oh, Orson, are you okay?
Look what you did, Roy, you made me wipe out.
Now help me get outta this warm water.
Water? Water?
Uh, Orson, may I ask you a question?
Sure, Roy.
It is what some might call a rather personal question.
Ask anything, Roy.
Fine, are you out of your ever-lovin' mind?
It's 28 degrees below zero and you're runnin' around
in your short shorts.
(shivers) I wish you hadn't
done that, Roy, now you reminded me how cold it is.
I gotta get back to summer.
Do you have any--
Not a clue, let's go see what he's doing.
Your guess is as good as mine.
And so the swimmers ran down to the beach.
Last one in is a rotten egg, one of them yelled.
Ah, would you rub some suntan lotion on my back?
Sylvia asked.
I don't wanna get a burn with this hot sun.
I can understand that, Philip said.
It must be 102 degrees in the shade, he added.
Oh, I get it.
Orson's imagining his way into a book again.
Books can transport you to some other place,
so when it's cold, why not go someplace warm?
Interesting.
Aren't you guys warm in those heavy coats?
Whew, now that you mention it.
It is a tad toasty.
This is great.
I don't even feel a chill now.
Well, what's it gonna be, guys?
Swimming?
Water polo, but isn't it 10 degrees?
(teeth chattering)
Wade, you broke the fantasy.
As they ran down to the beach,
they could feel the warm sand beneath their feet.
Read faster.
They saw the surfers out on the waves,
riding the crests of the warm tropical waters.
My, it's getting warm here again.
Just remember, think warm,
and don't do anything to shatter the fantasy.
Oh, this is great.
We'll just put these coats where they can't find them.
Ah, this is the life.
Orson, do you think you could imagine us up
some lemonade for us?
(chickens squawking)
Uh oh, sounds like trouble.
It must be the weasel.
Weasel, ahhh.
You guys stay here, I can handle this.
These guys have imagined up a beautiful summer day.
Cease and desist, weasel.
What do you have to say for yourself?
My, what a nice winter day.
Don't do that.
Oh no.
What's an oh no?
Oh, that's an oh no alright.
It must be 10 degrees out.
Oh no, n-n-now you've done it.
You've ruined the f-f-f-
Fantasy.
What you said.
I gotta go get warm.
Keep cool, fella. (laughs)
I l-l-left my coat right over, here?
It's g-g-gone.
I-I gotta get warm.
The b-b-beach was w-w-warm and c-c-comfy
as the seagulls basked in the w-w-warm sun.
Hold it right there, weasel.
You're not going anywhere with those chickens.
RADIO (Narrator) And the forecast for this afternoon,
extremely cold with temps in the low to mid teens
with a chance of light snow flurries.
I don't wanna hear this.
We're at the beach, we're at the beach.
It's warm and we're at the beach.
It's 88 degrees and it's warm and I'm not cold.
I've gotta get warm again.
The lifeguard warned them
That the sun was very hot today,
and they oughta put on lots
And lots
And lots of suntan lotion.
Well, I guess it's up to me, hehehe.
I just have to make sure he doesn't remind me
what time of year it really is.
Stop you weasel you.
You, since when do you play the hero?
In my family, we do something brave every 10 years.
This one covers me through the year 2004.
Hand over them chickens, weasel.
Of course, but first, a number.
Jingle bells, jingle bells
Jingle all the way
Oh no.
Oh what fun it is to drive
A freezin' duck away, oh
BOTH: It was so warm on the beach that she decided
ALL: to lay out under the hot sun for a time.
Hey guys, it's summer again.
The fantasy kicked in.
Yeah, but the weasel's gettin' away with the chickens.
There's gotta be a way to stop him.
I know.
Let's see, where is it, where is it?
Oh, here it is.
Suddenly, a massive tidal wave began its assault
on the beach.
(rumbling) What is that?
Eh, probably nothin' important.
A tidal wave?
I gotta get outta here.
(splash)
Help, tidal wave.
Somebody.
Don't worry, ladies, we'll have you outta there in a jiff.
Hey, what about me?
Save me.
Put on this life jacket, but you're gonna have
to take off your heavy coat first.
Anything, anything.
There, now throw me the life jacket.
You don't need a life jacket, weasel.
The tidal wave was just a fantasy out of one of my books.
Oh.
Oh, no,
help, cold, help, I'm freezing.
Oh what I wouldn't give for warmth.
Orson, I am confused.
Was that tidal wave real or fantasy?
That was a fantasy.
Clever, Orson.
But if the wave isn't real,
then what are we sailing this ship on?
You had to ask, didn't ya?
(teeth chattering)
Today we're visiting the Hollywood Museum,
a shrine to the history of the motion picture.
Many people are unaware of the role that cats played
in this story.
In fact, movies would never have been invented
were it not for a cat.
The year was 1894.
The place, the workshop of Thomas Alva Edison.
Mr. Edison was attempting to take a still photo
of his handsome cat.
Hold still now.
I said hold still.
Stop moving around like that, I can't focus.
(Garfield) This went on for hours.
Please, just stop moving around so I can get a picture.
(Garfield) Finally he gave up and just clicked off
a roll of film at random.
Three days later, when he got his pictures back
from the drugstore, he was surprised to find
they came out alright.
But what was more amazing was what happened
when he flipped the stack.
Viewed in rapid succession, it was almost as if
the still photographs had come to life.
Excited at his discovery, Edison raced back to his lab.
There, he invented the kinetoscope,
a device that would flip the pictures for you
while you looked through a viewer.
I have done it.
I have invented the, the, the moving picture.
Nevermind that, how 'bout inventing the refreshment stand.
My project is a success.
I wanna make another moving picture
of you dancing right away.
How 'bout that, he just invented the sequel.
(Garfield) Years later, with the help of research
being done in France, he was finally able to build
the first motion picture camera.
Please, move.
Do something.
The film is costing me a fortune.
Dance, run, do anything, please.
So thanks to a cat, the motion picture was invented.
But that wasn't the last contribution
that cats were to make.
Mr. Garfield, I happen to be Ms Edna W Factchecker,
and I am with the Historical Accuracy Society.
I have been watching your program,
and the story you've just presented is simply full
of inaccuracies and errors.
I would like to know precisely what you intend
to do about this.
(cranking) (yells)
You don't like it, get your own show.
Here's another example of the cat contribution
to movie history.
In 1915, pioneer movie maker, Mack Sennett,
was directing one of the first comedies.
Now, Mae, in this scene you hit fatty
in the face with a meatloaf, and action.
Cut, that isn't funny.
Let's try some other kind of food.
They tried hitting him in the face with a loaf of bread.
Not funny.
They tried hitting him in the face with a Caesar salad.
They tried everything.
A bacon, lettuce, and tomato sandwich.
A burrito.
And finally, an egg roll.
Ah, none of these is funny.
Prop man.
Y-y-yes, Mr. Sennett?
Find me some food to hit him
in the face with that's funny.
Yes, sir, Mr. Sennett.
Let's see, maybe a cucumber in the face.
No, how 'bout an omelet, is that funny?
Omelet in the face, no.
How 'bout a cheeseburger?
Hey, cat, put that pie down.
That pie is for the cast party later.
Let go of it.
(splat)
(gasp) Oh no, Mr. Sennett.
(laughter)
That's it, a pie in the face.
(laughs)
Young man, you are a genius, a comedical genius.
I am?
Oh, yes, why yes, I suppose I am.
I had the sudden inspiration that a pie, of all foods,
might resort in a certain contrast,
a reduction of dignity,
that most people would find humorous.
(splat) (laughter)
Well, he's right about one thing,
most people did find a pie in the face funny.
And to this day, movie comedy really hasn't improved--
Mr. Garfield, you have presented
another erroneous, phony story.
I demand to know where you are getting this information.
(splat)
(crash)
Same place I got the pie.
Okay, where was I?
Oh yeah, but perhaps the greatest contribution ever made
to Hollywood by a cat was made only a few years ago.
This is Fillmore.
Fillmore lived in the back of a movie theater,
operated by this man, Ron Carbuckle.
But Carbuckle didn't own the theater.
This man did.
His name was Mr. Bijou.
Carbuckle, I'm not making enough money off the theater.
But, sir, we're doing okay.
Making a nice profit, people enjoy going to the movies here.
I know, I know, but I want to make more.
Follow these plans or you're fired.
We can't do these things.
(Garfield) The cat, however, insisted they carry out
Mr. Bijou's orders to the letter.
The following week, Mr. Bijou came by to make sure
his plan was being implemented.
As you know, we used to show one movie at a time
in our spacious theater.
Under your new plan,
we've carved it up into 49 mini-cinemas.
Great, great.
Also, we're replacing the plush, comfortable theater seats
with these small uncomfortable, cheap seats.
Perfect.
We're pouring cola over all the floors
to make them sticky.
Good, good, that'll keep people here.
We got rid of the hot, freshly popped buttered popcorn,
and we've replaced it with pre-popped corn covered with
some sort of yellow liquid.
And, by the way, that container of popcorn
my cat is holding is a small.
It sells for $17.
Great, once we got 'em in here,
let's soak 'em for everything we can.
Fine work, Carbuckle.
(Garfield) Carbuckle did everything the theater owner
had asked to rip off film goers.
And within two weeks,
the theater was completely out of business.
Well now I'm out of work.
I should never have listened to you
and done all those things Mr. Bijou wanted.
This is your fault.
(Garfield) Ah, but the cat had a plan.
And when Carbuckle saw it, he saw how brilliant it was.
Come on, let's go.
(Garfield) Yes, the theater went out of business,
just like every movie theater that tries to soak the public.
But across the street,
Ron Carbuckle's new business was booming.
And so Fillmore the cat invented the most important thing
to happen to movies in 50 years, the video rental business.
Mr. Garfield, that entire story was completely untrue.
You are filling the heads of small children with--
(yells)
Thank you, and goodnight.
Boy, I hate this yellow stuff they put on popcorn
instead of butter.
(upbeat music)