Gilmore Girls s01e19 Episode Script

Emily in Wonderland

Previously on Gilmore Girls I did what you said.
I had it worked out and asked him if he'd like to go to dinner - at Chez Fleur on Sunday.
- Very nice.
He said he would love to, but his cousin's in town - and is staying with him for the week.
- Then just make it next week.
- I came up with another option.
- Which is? That we double-date.
No, I hate blind dates.
It figures that the only Korean boy at this party has his Korean-girl radar turned on.
- I'm Henry.
- I'm Lane.
This is Rory and Paris.
Thank you.
You will not regret this.
Lorelai, this is my cousin, Rune.
Rune, this is Lorelai.
Hi.
It's very nice to meet you.
I can't believe you set me up with that.
Was the bearded lady busy tonight? He speaks Korean fluently, he respects his parents.
And he's also really cute, very funny, and surprisingly interesting.
I'm sorry, but I'm totally failing to see the problem.
I'm falling for a guy my parents would approve of! Tomorrow, if you have time I'm planning on despising everyone who says, 'Hey, how's it going?' You're on.
- Hey, how's it going? - No, that's just too easy.
- Rachel.
- Your Rachel? - You're Rachel? - Yep, I'm Rachel.
- I have to get home.
- Stay for one more dance.
- I don't think - Yes.
One dance would be fine.
Great.
Please, don't let me drive you away.
You're not.
I have to go sit in a closet - So, where's Rachel? - She's a founder's party-punch junkie.
- Is she staying? - I don't know.
- Do you want her to? - I don't know.
Can I have some baby pictures of you and Grandpa? Any particular reason? We're doing this visual family-history project for school.
If it's for school, I could dig something up.
- I need some of Mom, too.
- I thought we had this conversation.
- Yeah, but I don't believe you.
- Mother, tell her.
- I don't have baby pictures of your mother.
- Thank you.
How could you not have baby pictures? Because when she was seven, I found her burning all of her baby pictures.
Why would you do that? I'm sure you were a cute baby.
- She was very cute.
- Four, three, two, one.
- In most respects.
- Then we have lift off.
- What does that mean? - Nothing.
I don't see what the problem is.
You certainly grew into it.
Grown into what? As a child, your mother had an unusually large head.
The best thing about it was she'd tell me constantly.
My first sentence was, 'Big head want dolly.
' - I can't imagine it being that bad.
- It wasn't.
It just affected her balance a little Can we talk about something besides my formerly huge head? Are these new chairs, Grandma? - Why, yes, Rory, they are.
- They are? I got them from a dealer in Maine last summer.
- He just restored them.
- They look like the old ones.
- They're nice.
- Sure they're new? - Of course.
I bought them.
- I don't see any difference.
The arch in the back is higher, and they have a different leg.
No difference.
I could only get 10, so I'm two chairs short of a set.
You're telling me.
- Do you realize how rare these chairs are? - No.
I've searched for three years for them.
I'd combed every fine antique store on the East Coast and this is all I could find.
I blame Peg Mossley.
- Peg Mossley, evil woman.
- What did Peg Mossley do? She lured two German children to her gingerbread house and then she tried to eat them.
Pass the artichokes, please.
I made the mistake of telling Peg all my favorite special spots and that woman moved in and completely wiped them out.
You can't find a decent Biedermeier hutch in all of Connecticut.
- I'm desperate for new sources.
- What about Kim's Antiques? - What's Kim's Antiques? - Didn't that burn down? Lane's parents have this great antique store in Stars Hollow.
Is that so? Why haven't you ever told me about it? I don't know, Mom.
I guess it just got lost in my big head.
Come to Stars Hollow and I'll take you there.
Like Saturday.
You can come see the town.
- Won't you have to study? - I can put it off for one day.
- I'm working.
- No one is asking you to do anything.
This is between Rory and me.
I accept your offer, Rory.
I would love to spend Saturday with you.
- Great.
- I'm just sorry that I'm gonna miss it.
Eat your artichoke, Lorelai.
Okay, French toast with crispy bacon.
Pancakes, two eggs over easy.
- What? - You put the eggs on the pancakes.
It's like two eyes staring at me.
See, I can't eat it like this.
- Hence the 'oops.
' - What? You always order the same thing.
You put the eggs on the side so my breakfast is not ogling me.
- It's the same food.
- Yeah, I need the eggs put on the side.
- You want a brand-new plate? - Yes.
What if I take this in the back, take the eggs off the pancakes I put the eggs on the side, and bring the plate back? - What happens then? - I can eat my breakfast.
It's the same food, just a different configuration.
- I won't know that.
- I'm gonna take the plate in the back.
So, what time does the judgmental express arrive? Grandma gets here at noon.
Are you sure you won't do lunch? - No, I can't.
Lunch is bad.
- Lorelai, you're here.
- Good.
Don't move.
- I won't.
What are you doing at lunch? - I have very important things to do.
- Like what? At noon, I have to not have lunch with my mother.
Very nice.
I'm developing my pictures from the Firelight Festival.
Some amazing stuff.
I'm thinking maybe there's a book here, Faces of Small Town America.
You can feel safe.
You don't live near these people.
Exactly.
And the very last shot on my roll was this.
- When did you take this? - When you weren't looking.
- What's that? - It's a picture of us.
- Us? - Rachel took it.
- For the Firelight Festival.
- Sure.
Yeah.
- So here's your plate.
No eyes.
- Thank you.
- Do you wear contacts? - Me? No.
God, you've got amazing eyes.
Doesn't she? Yeah, sure, I guess.
I mean they're, you know, placed good.
Symmetrical.
I'm gonna get some more coffee.
- Mom, look at this.
- What is that? It's an old abandoned inn I ran across when I was exploring the other day.
This is Dragonfly.
I totally forgot about this place.
It doesn't look like it's been operational in years.
Look at all the trees.
It's pretty.
I'm buzzing.
- What've I said about buzzing in public? - It's Lane.
911, that's trig.
- Gotta go.
- Bye.
- Take a - Yeah.
- Bye, Rachel.
- Bye.
- That is one really not annoying kid.
- Yes, she really is not.
I'll consider doing the mom thing if I could be guaranteed I'd get one just like her.
You can.
You just have to go to Sears.
- God! Where is this again? - It's kind of behind the mill.
Go across a little footbridge with the mean duck family under it.
Yes, the Armbrewsters.
It's really amazing.
- Do you want to see it? - What? The inn.
I'm gonna head out that way in a little while.
Come on, finish your breakfast.
I'll drive us out there.
Drive her out where? Lorelai and I are going to cruise the docks.
To see how many sailors we'd get to tattoo our names on their butts.
- What do you think? - I have to check in at the inn first.
- That's great.
Good.
I'll pick you up there.
- Okay.
Good.
- What was that all about? - Nothing.
We're gonna check out this old inn Rachel found.
- What? - I didn't know you guys were friends.
We're not really friends.
I don't know her that well.
- We're just hanging out.
She seems great.
- She is.
She's great.
She's just a lot different from you.
- 'Cause I'm not really great? - No, you're great, just in a different way.
- In a not really great way? - That's not what I meant.
The two of you are just completely different people.
Both great.
But I'm just a little surprised that your different types of greatness are melding and you're comfortably great together.
- Is this bothering you? - This conversation, yes.
No, the idea of Rachel and I hanging out together.
Is there some reason that's weird for you or something? - Why? - No reason I can think of.
- Then it's not weird.
- I was just checking.
- Then you checked.
- Okay.
So are you gonna be pouring that coffee anytime or I'm glad it's not weird, though.
That would be bad.
I'll get a rag.
Welcome, Moshira Motors, to the Independence Inn.
The dining room is right through there.
And breakfast is served 6:00 to 11:30 although our chef is an amazing overachiever and she'll be happy to prepare anything you want any time of day.
Now, your itinerary for the conference will be in each of your rooms.
And if you have any questions at all, just please feel free to ask No.
Somebody else.
Not him.
Okay, so ask Roger.
Roger will be happy to help you.
Thanks so much.
- Rune is in the lobby.
- Lorelai! Hello! I made some coffee.
Rune is in the lobby.
I also made those orange-glazed muffins you like, with warm cinnamon butter.
Sookie, Rune is in the lobby.
Why? - Muffin's getting cold.
- Muffin's fine.
My muffin wants to know why the fruitcake's in the lobby.
- He's staying with Jackson.
- Again? - Still.
- I thought he was only here for a weekend.
Yes, 'The Lost Weekend.
' Explain, Yoko, because he's out there with the normal people - and he'll scare them.
- He won't leave.
- Jackson's house? - Yes.
He won't leave, and it's driving me crazy.
- Tell Jackson to kick him out.
- He won't do it.
- Why not? - Because he says it's family.
And somehow he feels responsible for him.
Okay, but has Jackson met him? I think that would change his mind.
Apparently, Rune had a rough childhood.
His parents, brothers, and sisters don't talk to him.
No one talks to him.
- What's wrong with Jackson? - I don't know.
He's determined to stand by him and I have to respect his decision.
- That part I can understand.
- Good.
What I can't understand is, what's Rune doing here? - Well, I don't - Lorelai! These are for you.
For me? Yeah, and I also brought some of my raspberry-peach jam.
- I think you'll like it.
Put it on ice cream.
- Okay.
Take a graham cracker, spread some on, add some chocolate throw it in the boiler, and you'll sing show tunes all evening.
Must be good jam.
It's my way of saying thanks for helping out Rune.
Thanks for helping out Rune.
- Okay, I'm doing the spoon signal.
- I didn't notice.
I'm waving around like an idiot here.
- You haven't - No.
Yeah.
- So I should - Good idea.
Right.
Enjoy the jam.
Would you mind explaining the thank-you jam? I was supposed to ask you something about Rune.
- Like what? - He just, not too long ago, lost his job.
- Attitude problems? - Something like that.
When he lost his job, he couldn't pay his rent and so he got evicted.
None of this was known to us when he came to stay with Jackson.
But this is the situation.
So I was thinking if he could get another job and then he could save up some money, afford his own place, and move out then I wouldn't end up stabbing him in the neck with a grapefruit spoon.
It's gonna happen.
- You want me to give him a job? - Nothing important.
Good.
I was gonna put him in charge of legal.
I know it's a lot to ask, but I can't think of anything else.
- What can he do? - Lots of things.
He's always fiddling around, using screws.
- Once I saw him use a hammer.
- A hammer? He could be a handyman.
You've been looking for a handyman.
I couldn't pay him very much.
That's okay.
Maybe he could just work for room and board.
- You want him to live here? - No.
- What about the old potting shed? - The old potting shed? Rory and I lived there when she was a baby.
It has memories and little rosebud wallpaper.
I don't want Boo Radley touching my rosebud wallpaper.
A job is enough, you're right.
He can save up money and eventually move out.
I'll just have to deal with it.
The potting shed's fine.
- Really? - Yes.
I love you.
I swear to God, the minute the guests start complaining or disappearing - he's out of there.
- More than fair! - It's really good jam.
- Yeah, it is, isn't it? - Grandma.
- Rory! Hello.
- What a lovely day to - Are you okay? Guess putting in a walkway never occurred to Lorelai.
It occurs to her every day on the way to work.
Here.
Thank you.
- Are your shoes okay? - They're fine.
A little muddy, that's all.
- Here, give them.
I'll clean them for you.
- You don't have to do that.
My mom found this great shoe cleaner.
It gets out pretty much anything.
Do you want something to drink? There should be iced tea.
Iced tea would be nice.
- Oh, my God! There's nothing in here.
- I know.
It's a little sparse.
- It's The Grapes of Wrath.
- Don't worry.
We eat fine.
No food, no drink.
Do you at least have plates? Yes, we have plates.
- There are women in bikinis on them.
- The original Charlie's Angels.
It took us years to get a complete set.
You can find the Kate Jacksons and Shelley Hacks pretty easily.
Even the Cheryl Ladds.
The Farrah Fawcetts and Jaclyn Smiths are a little harder to find but still accessible.
The real trick is to find the Tanya Roberts.
We have three.
You have three Tanya Roberts? And I was worried.
Silly me.
How are you doing with those shoes? - All done.
- That's amazing! - What is that you used? - I don't know.
We got it off one of those late-night TV ads.
It also gets rust off nails and hinges, waxes your car perfectly - and weatherproofs windows.
- Isn't that nice.
Okay, about today.
I think I'll just give you the grand tour of the town.
So we can start by walking to Kim's Antiques which takes us by all the good sites.
I don't think I wore the right shoes for the grand tour.
- Why don't we just drive? - You can borrow my mom's shoes.
No, I don't think so.
Rory, hold on a minute.
You'll be missing the true Stars Hollow experience if you don't walk.
Trust me.
But I won't wear anything with rhinestones or zebra stripes or anything that has batteries or that sings or makes animal noises or moves on its own.
Grandma, I got it.
It must have been something when it was all fixed up and nice.
Can I ask what the fascination with this place is? Me and my friend Sookie we've been kind of toying with the idea of opening our own place together.
- Really? - Yeah.
I mean, someday.
Obviously not now.
We're still saving up.
- Are you close? - No, not at all.
- This looks like it could be a great place.
- Yeah, it really does.
God.
A little paint, some pretty curtains $150,000 of construction, and we're open for business.
Did you always want to own an inn? No, I was still dreaming of owning a red Camaro - when Rory appeared on the scene.
- Right.
It's a new idea in the last couple of years, actually.
Did you always want to be a photographer? Not specifically.
I remember growing up thinking, 'I wanna be anywhere but here.
' That was you in the other room! I made sure to pick something that would keep me moving.
Constantly.
- Sounds exciting.
- It is.
Tiring, too.
Now that I'm here, back with Luke, I don't know.
Things seem to be going pretty well for you guys.
I guess.
These last couple of weeks it's become increasingly apparent to me things just can't continue the way they've been.
- What do you mean? - I think it's time we get serious.
I'm ready to 'settle down,' I guess, is the creepy, old-fashioned term for it.
Pretty damn scary? Pretty damn scary.
- I feel ridiculous.
- You look great.
- I look like a Clydesdale.
- You look comfortable.
- People are staring.
- Because you look great.
What a shame your grandfather isn't here.
He'd fall in love with me all over again.
- I think we came through the storeroom.
- Nope, this is it.
This is the antique store? You have to dig, but you'll find great stuff here.
This is ridiculous.
No one can run a quality business like this.
This place is dusty and disorganized.
And you can't possibly Now that is gorgeous! Look at the woodwork.
It's exquisite.
I wonder if it has a mate.
Grandma, look at this.
It's got little flowers all over it.
- It's very pretty.
- Is it something special? - Do you like it? - Yeah.
Then it's something special.
Lane, this is my grandma.
Grandma, this is my friend, Lane.
- I've heard a lot about you.
- Nice to meet you.
Can I talk to you for a sec? Go.
Talk.
I have a lot of looking to do here.
- Problem.
- Hit me.
It's been a week since that party and he has not called.
- He said he'd call.
- Maybe he's been busy.
Maybe he has a girlfriend.
A tiny, perfect Korean girl that his parents will love and approve of.
You're a tiny, perfect Korean girl that his parents will approve of.
- No, they'd know.
- Know what? Know I listen to the wrong music and wish I could go blond without looking bad.
That I'd take a WHOPPER over kimchi in a heartbeat.
- Now you're just going crazy.
- He doesn't like me, he won't call.
It's not the end of the world.
I'll live.
I'll go on.
There's always college, unless my parents get their way and then it's,'I take thee, Jesus, to be my lawful wedded husband.
' Lane, with all due respect to your fiance, Henry will call.
No, he's not.
Then why did he talk to you all night and follow you everywhere you went and ask you to dance six times? - Was it six times? - It was six times.
He didn't ask you to dance because you're a good dancer.
To tell the you the truth, and as much as I love you, you're not.
- Really? - You're an embarrassment - to the art of dancing.
- Thank you.
That's mid-19th century.
Four different kinds of wood.
- Is it missing an inlay? - No.
- I thought so.
- Perfect condition! - How much? - $3,500 for the pair.
- You must be joking! - No joke.
- Nice, but not that nice.
- Not a better pair on the East Coast.
- $2,000.
- You're from Hartford.
Yes.
It doesn't matter where I'm from.
I know they're overpriced.
- See the bottom.
- They're not signed.
- Look on the bottom! - Are they signed? - They're signed.
- Are they authentic? - You have my word.
- Letter of authentication? - That, too.
- It's like watching the Williams sisters.
- I wish we had popcorn.
- I won't take it.
- Then someone else will! - Eventually.
- I can wait.
- So can I.
- It's my last offer.
- I'll think about it.
- I'll waive the tax.
- And throw in delivery.
We appreciate your business.
I like that woman.
And you know what? I like these shoes.
You're becoming one of us, Grandma.
- This way? - Yeah.
Great.
I love this street.
- May I help you? - I need to know where my room is.
Are you sure you are in the right place? Perhaps you want the YMCA or the local bus station? - You speak English? - You have a reservation? - I work here.
- I do not think so.
You see, we have standards.
And even if they were much lower, you would still be poor boy out of luck.
I'm the new handyman.
Lorelai hired me.
- You know Lorelai.
- I dated her.
- You did? - Don't spread it around.
- It's not one of my shining moments.
- You've so many to pick from.
- You're rude.
- You've cut me to the quick.
- Out of here, teeny tiny man.
- I will only be pushed so far! - And obviously, it's down.
- Rune, you made it.
Great.
- Finally.
Will you tell this guy who I am? - This is Rune.
- You know him? - He's our new handyman.
- See? Handyman.
- Be quiet.
Go build us another statue.
- You hired this man? - Yes.
Did you date him also? I didn't date him.
I didn't date you.
It was one night.
- One night.
You and him together? - I'll explain later.
- I cannot wait.
- Yes.
Come with me.
I'll show you where you're gonna stay.
Could you ask your bellboy to grab my stuff? I sprained my shoulder on the way over here.
- Relax.
I got it.
- Great.
Move it, Rune.
So what do you think? I think it's very nice.
Mom's office is right back there.
You have to see the dining room.
They got the chandeliers from one of Martha Washington's houses.
- Do you spend a lot of time here? - Yeah.
I work here a couple afternoons a week.
And I help out with special occasions.
They have a lot of weddings here.
- I wonder where Mom is.
- Don't bother her.
- I'm sure she's busy.
- No, she'd want to say hi.
- Michel, where's Mom? - Off with her boyfriend.
- What boyfriend? - Small, dark, wanted in four states.
Do you know when she's coming back? My grandma's here, we wanna say hi.
Your grandmother.
- Emily Gilmore.
- Michel Gerard.
We'd better go find Mom.
- It's been a pleasure meeting you.
- The pleasure is all mine.
What a charming man.
Mom, hi.
- Mom, hi.
- It's quite a place you've got here.
It's not really my place.
I just work here.
I thought you were gonna go antiquing.
- We did, and then we had lunch.
- Really? Where? - Teriyaki Joe's.
- You're kidding.
- She picked.
- You did? It looked festive.
I can't picture you at Teriyaki Joe's or in jogging shoes.
What's up, working girl? Rory decided we should take the grand tour of the town, walking.
I hope you don't mind.
I also borrowed your socks.
I don't mind.
I wish I had a camera, but I don't mind.
I'm gonna show her the grounds.
Good.
On the way, show her the gym.
Jump on the treadmill.
- See you later.
- Make sure you stretch first.
I just love your mother.
So the horses are up on that hill, and the tennis courts are back there.
It's certainly impressive.
- And this is my favorite place.
- The tool shed? - No, this is where we used to live.
- What? When Mom and I moved here, this was our apartment.
I know it looks small, but it's really pretty.
Come on.
See, we had our bed right there and Mom put up this pretty curtain around the tub so that it looked like a real bathroom.
And we would just sit outside at night when the inn would have parties and we'd just listen to music, feed the ducks and Grandma? - Grandma, wait.
What's the matter? - Nothing.
Did something happen? Are you sick? Is it the teriyaki? I'm fine.
It's just getting late.
I have to go.
- Do you mind? - What? Sorry.
Good, you got my message.
- Hail the glory of the answering machine.
- Come on in.
I just developed some shots of the Dragonfly I think you're gonna love.
- Maybe they can help inspire you more.
- Great.
I've never been in Luke's apartment before.
Really? How long have you two known each other? Years, but our relationship is strictly, 'Please, can I have coffee?' 'No.
' 'Come on!' 'No, it makes you short.
' Then let me give you the grand tour.
This is it.
It's not how I pictured it.
Not that I have been picturing Luke's apartment.
I haven't been picturing it at all.
- I know what you meant.
- Nice touch.
- Those aren't mine.
- You're kidding.
Nope.
Frankly, a little too frilly for my taste.
I'm gonna give him so much crap about that.
- Have a seat.
- Thanks.
Man, you guys live in pretty tight quarters here.
This was originally his dad's office.
It was never really meant for anyone to actually live in.
- But tell that to Luke.
- Exactly.
Do you think about moving to a bigger place? - I don't think so.
- No? Right, because tight quarters, romantic.
Hello, Lorelai.
I don't think romance has a lot to do with it.
I'm not sure I'm gonna be in Stars Hollow much longer.
- But I thought - I know.
I can't seem to make Luke believe I really want to stay this time.
- Did you tell him all the stuff you told me? - Till I was blue in the face.
You just have to keep trying until he hears you.
I don't blame him.
I've given him no reason to believe me.
I just hoped that magically, somehow, he'd, I don't know forget that I'd skipped out on him a million times before.
- Have you told him you might leave? - No.
- Are you going to? - I don't know.
I feel I've been trying so hard to make everything good.
But this town, it's like living under a microscope.
Everyone here's waiting for you to screw up.
No, that's not true.
- Miss Patty? - Well, yeah.
I don't know how long I can stick around waiting for Luke when I feel I don't have a friend in the world.
If you can French-braid hair, I'll be your friend.
- Sorry.
- See you.
I cannot find your pictures here.
They must be in the bathroom.
So do not want to know why.
Listen, I know this is so not cool to ask, but if the situation comes up and it's not too weird a little word of encouragement from you might help a lot.
- Yeah, sure, if it comes up.
- Thanks.
What, you don't knock? - What are you doing here? - Rachel invited me.
- To look at some pictures.
- Good.
And go through your underwear drawer.
- Where is she? - Freezing your bra.
- Where? - In the bathroom.
Right.
- It's a nice place you have here.
- Thank you.
- I like the curtains.
- Yeah, Rachel picked them out.
She's got good taste.
- I just had to put something in the safe.
- We were just - I told him about the underwear drawer.
- And the baseball-cap fashion show? I'm gonna go now.
I think he's going to buy a matching rug.
- I like this song.
It makes me gloomy.
- Gloomy's good.
- Really gloomy.
- Like, Joy Division gloomy? - Nick Cave or Robert Smith gloomy? - Johnny Cash gloomy.
So like a San Quentin-y, 'It's a long road home, and my horse just got shot 'but I still got my girl by my side' gloomy? You read my mind.
- I'm deep in a Charlie Parker gloomy.
- Henry still hasn't called? - No, he called.
- He did? Why didn't you tell me? I didn't talk to him.
He left a message.
I listened to it eight-and-a-half times but then my mom came home.
I had to erase it.
But I was so panicked that I broke it.
Which is better, because now all evidence that a boy called me is in the trash.
Eight-and-a-half times.
It was a good message the first few times.
Then I started parsing it for subtext.
- What did he say? - He said, 'Hey, Lane, it's Henry.
' - Not a good start.
- How do you figure? It's so gender-neutral.
It's how you start a conversation with a bowling pal.
He asked you bowling? Then he said, 'It was fun meeting you the other night.
' What? He didn't say which night, like he didn't remember which night.
Like he's mixing me up with another girl.
For all I know, he thought he was calling the hot blonde he met at a hopped-up night at Balthazar's.
He's a 16-year-old Korean boy.
- Or so he led me to believe.
- What's the bottom line here? The bottom line is that he wants me to call him back.
But if I do that, then he's probably gonna ask me out on a date.
And if we go on a date, then it could lead to another date.
Then I'll have to introduce him to my parents.
Then they'll like him because he's Korean and he's gonna be a doctor.
Once that happens, that's it.
It'll be over.
He'll be hideous to me.
Now I'm a Lou Reed gloomy.
Hello? - Rory, hello.
Do you have a minute? - Sure.
This will probably seem silly but I was wondering what your favorite color is.
I don't really have one.
Blue, I guess.
- What about flowers? Do you like flowers? - Sure.
Which would you say you like better.
roses or lilies? - Sunflowers.
- Sunflowers it is.
Now, what about music? 'NSYNC or 98 Degrees? 'NSYNC or 98 Degrees? What kind of sick joke is this? - I don't think I could choose.
- What about the Backside Boys? - You mean the Backstreet Boys? - Yes, that's it.
- I guess if I had to choose, I'd say'NSYNC.
- Wonderful.
- Are you writing this down? - Maybe.
- What for? - You'll see.
- I'm looking forward to dinner on Friday.
- Okay.
Yeah, me, too.
- Bye.
- Bye-bye.
What was that? Sounded like some sick take on the Gallup Survey.
- I gotta go.
- Call him.
I already left him a message.
He's probably parsing it right now.
I'm sure.
Want some coffee? Coffee would be great.
- Thanks.
- Watch the lid there.
It really looks different from back here, you know? All this is yours, as far as the eye can see.
Yes, it's quite an empire I've built for myself.
I'm thinking of conquering the flower shop next door and expanding the freezer.
I didn't mean to kick you out of your own apartment.
- You didn't.
- You left pretty fast.
It looked like you were talking girl-talk, so - Girl-talk? What's girl-talk? - You know, pantyhose, nail polish.
- Curtains.
- Yes, that stuff.
You didn't like me being up there? No big deal.
This is the fascinating storage area where fascinating acts of storage take place.
- Yep, this is it.
- Some good-looking pickles.
- What are you doing? - I'm admiring your pickles.
- You shouldn't be in here.
- Why not? My insurance covers only me.
- That's not true.
You're kidding, right? - It's not safe.
Something might fall.
You don't like me hanging out with Rachel, do you? Come on! - Am I right? - Hang out with anybody you want.
- Not my question.
- Well, that's my answer.
Well, we're eight.
Just a friendly piece of advice: Don't get too attached to her.
She's got an interesting habit of getting bored and then leaving.
Usually without saying goodbye.
- People break habits.
- Not often.
You're just convinced that's what she's gonna do.
I'll bet you that's exactly what she does.
Let's say it is what she does.
Don't you think it's possible that if she leaves Stars Hollow this time it's because she thinks you don't want her to stay? - Are you guys talking about me? - No.
Yes.
Okay, I don't mind if you hang out with her, but you will not talk about me.
Why? It's fun.
We wear plaid, take turns not shaving.
There will be no Luke-talk, period.
Want to know what I think about the situation? - No.
- Are you sure? If you're gonna tell me, at least help me unload.
- Can I use the fun cutter thingy? - Not if you call it 'the fun cutter thingy.
' - Please? - Cut the box, not your hand.
Good tip.
You should teach.
- Fun! - Talk.
I don't know what's going on in her head as I'm no Vulcan.
But from the way she talks about you and smiles when your name comes up I'm pretty sure she's serious about staying here this time.
Let me guess.
Rachel told you she wanted to put down roots that she's serious this time, that she's tired of the road and realizes what's lacking in her nomadic existence.
She didn't use 'nomadic existence,' but basically, that's what she said.
I've heard the speech.
I know it by heart.
I think she means it this time.
- You don't know her like I do.
- I don't, but she seems sincere.
- How do you know? - Her nose didn't grow.
- Why are you taking her side? - I'm not.
- It sounds like you're taking her side.
- Wash out your ears.
I am not.
- You're practically pushing her on me.
- I just want you to be happy.
You know what makes me happy? No.
I just know you've been carrying a torch for her for a really long time.
- I have not been carrying a torch for her.
- You wanted this to happen.
- How do you know that I wanted it? - Didn't you? - Yeah, I guess.
- Okay.
So here it is, right in front of you.
Just take it.
Take the plunge.
She could be ready.
Just jump in and believe her.
Unless, you know, there's some other reason you don't want to.
Like what? Like I don't know.
There's no other reason.
Okay.
Fine.
Then there's no other reason.
- I'll think about it.
- Okay.
- Thanks for letting me borrow your thingy.
- You're welcome.
I'll see you later, Luke.
She actually asked if you like the Backstreet Boys? - Except she called them 'Backside Boys.
' - That is high comedy.
- What inspired that woman? - I don't know.
It was weird.
This sudden interest in pop music.
I sat her down to listen to a Prince song once and she looked like she was having a stroke.
- Wait a minute.
I know what she's doing.
- What? She's trying to be your pal now.
That sneak.
You spend one day together and she wants to know all about you.
She's picturing you guys chatting about boys and painting each other's toenails Hey, Kirk.
Are you getting a cold? You know, you should try that Dyna-Meda-Chema-Themytol.
Knocks it right out.
But don't drive your forklift.
It'll make you drowsy.
When's the last time you think Luke's been to a movie? I think the guy had to crank the projector by hand.
- Do you mind? - Kirk, the movie hasn't even started yet.
I like to have silence to cleanse my mental palate and achieve calm before enjoying a motion picture.
You got that out of a book.
- Luke looks happy, doesn't he? - Yeah, he looks happy.
- They seem right together, don't they? - Just right.
Good.
He deserves it.
So I did the right thing by butting in the way I did.
You butted in for all the right reasons.
You were concerned about a friend.
So, if Rachel turns out to be an evil fembot and murders Luke in his sleep, I'm not responsible, am I? - Only in an intergalactic court.
- Good.
Rachel seems really great, doesn't You are now officially disturbing not just me, but every person here.
You're the only one who's disturbed.
Hello? Hello? Damn it! - Hello! - Mom, hi.
Check the rubbing alcohol.
- How was the drive? - It was fine.
- Good.
- The foyer looks great.
- I have a surprise for you.
- The rest of the house ran away? No.
Rory, come with me.
Okay.
I'll follow you, then.
Great.
Voila! Oh, my! Grandma, what is this? - This is your room.
- What? Since you spend so much time here, I thought you should have a special place.
But you didn't have to do this.
- Do you like it? - Yeah, it's beautiful.
Do you see the 'NSYNC poster? - Thank you, Grandma.
- You're welcome, sweetheart.
Now, come on, let's go downstairs and see if dinner's ready.
- You coming? - You bought her Cosmogirl.
The young girls enjoy the articles.
You bought boy-band posters and Hello Kitty notepads.
A lovely young girl at the store helped me pick them out.
- You filled the room with sunflowers.
- Rory likes sunflowers.
- I know Rory likes sunflowers.
- What is the matter, Lorelai? Nothing.
I don't know.
It's just a little weird, that's all.
Why is it weird to do something for my granddaughter? I mean, it's not like you bought her a car.
By the way, don't.
It's a room, and You know, you're right.
It's nice.
I'm sorry.
I'm just being silly.
Maybe you don't like the fact that she has a place away from you.
Someplace that's just her own.
I said I was fine.
Or because it's so large and spacious and has four solid walls around the bathtub.
- Excuse me? - It might not be exciting or bohemian but at least it doesn't have shovels propped up against the sofa, does it? I'm sorry.
I missed the checkered flag.
When did the argument start? Is it because it's not a shack in the woods? Or is it the proximity to me? What are you talking about? - You hated us that much? - What? You had to take that little girl away.
That was bad enough.
But to that? To live there in a shed like a hobo? Who uses the word 'hobo' anymore? I saw that horrible little pit you so proudly ran to.
I saw what you chose over your own family.
You'd have lived in the gutter, in the street, in a cardboard box anywhere as long as you didn't have to be near us.
Isn't that true, Lorelai? Mom, I was very young.
I was very unhappy.
And I needed to be someplace that wasn't here.
Excuse me.
- You're awfully quiet.
- I am? - You hardly said anything at dinner.
- I was chewing.
- You didn't say anything on the ride home.
- I was concentrating.
I feel I've gotten sloppy with this whole Seriously.
The other day, I caught myself doing a 9 and 4.
If left uncorrected, that can only lead to a 6 and 12.
Or, worse yet, an 8 and 11 which is not only dangerous, but uncomfortable.
Talk, please.
I just wish sometimes that certain things could be different.
Like what? Like, wouldn't it be great if once, just once I could make my mother hear me? I mean, really hear me - even if it was just for one second.
- Are you talking about the room? The room, the potting shed, my entire life after age six.
- It's my fault.
- How is it your fault? I shouldn't have taken her there.
I just thought that if she saw how we lived and how pretty it was with the lake and the swans That she'd do a happy dance? That she'd feel included, and then, maybe The whole 'me running away' thing wouldn't be such a big deal? Honey, me running away from them is always gonna be a big deal.
There is nothing you can do to change that.
- Can I ask you a question? - Yes, I would date Steven Tyler.
Can I ask a question whose answer wouldn't horrify me? Go ahead.
Do you think you and Grandma will talk about the things you've gone through? No.
- You didn't even consider it.
- Sorry.
No.
- Why? - Because it would just end badly.
It doesn't have to.
It'd be like the first 15 minutes of Saving Private Ryan.
At least they got to be in France.
- You've never tried.
- No, that's not true.
I have tried.
I have tried my whole life.
But my mother and I, we speak a different language.
I talk, I think I'm being clear, and all she hears is: 'Blah, blah, Ginger.
' But if you won't talk and she won't listen, then how is anything ever gonna change? I don't know.
Thanks.
Don't tell me you're closed.
- Would it change the outcome if I did? - No.
- Two coffees.
- Yes, please.
- Any pie to go with that? - Pie! We just had cake at Grandma's.
But that was crabby cake.
Let's have happy pie.
- Anything as long as there's coffee.
- I'll put on a fresh pot.
Hey, listen, I just want to say thanks.
For what? For whatever it was you said to Luke the other day.
It was no big deal.
No, it was a very big deal.
I was sitting upstairs and suddenly he comes in, empties out his sock drawer, and gives it to me.
That's great! You got a drawer! - And a set of keys.
- You can put the keys in the drawer.
He's accepting it.
He's believing it.
And it's all because of you.
Actually, it's because of you.
- I'm not gonna screw it up this time.
- I know you won't.
I owe you one.
So you're gonna be in Stars Hollow for a while, then? - Yeah, quite a while.
- That's great.
- You want any ice cream with that pie? - I did get you a drawer.
If I threw in hot fudge, you think you could weasel me half the closet? - I'll see what I can do.
- Thank you.
- Here.
- Thanks.
- Does it taste different to you? - Yeah.
It does.
- So what do you think? - It's got a great view.
- And good highway access.
- I love that window back in the Library? No, lobby.
No, bathroom? I'd get that decided before you open.
There's absolutely no kitchen space here! How do we open a bed and breakfast when there's no place to cook breakfast? Then it's just a bed.
We'll have to charge half price.
We'll build a new kitchen, Sookie.
I'll need plenty of ventilation and an area for an outdoor fireplace for barbeques.
Plus storage.
Where did these people put anything? A pantry and a canning room.
- I'd love to smoke our own meats.
- Absolutely! I don't know if this is gonna work.
I may have to do some floor plans.
Where is that plumbing? - Your own inn.
- Cool.
- It's gonna be a really big job.
- Yeah.
Maybe I'll get Rune to manage the place for me.
- How's he doing? - He put a tip jar on the reservation desk.
Michel tried to beat him senseless with the reservation book.
- How did that go? - Rune got away.
- Really? - Michel can't run in new shoes.
How long do you think before you guys own this place? Sweetie, it's going to be a very long time.
- Do you think it'll still be here? - Yeah.
I think we got a shot.

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