Girl Code (2013) s04e02 Episode Script
Vomiting; Taking Pictures; What to do When You Believe You Have Found 'The One'
1 There is one thing that makes girls gag but not vomit, and I'm not allowed to say what that is on TV.
It's when he winks at you.
Uh-huh.
Ha ha ha! Listen up, ladies.
It's "GirlCode".
On this episode of "GirlCode," it's that gravity-defying moment that brings us to our knees.
Vomiting.
And, sometimes finding true love feels like entering the matrix.
So it can be hard to tell if you've found The One.
Then, the struggle is real on # AskGirlCode.
Are you kidding me? Your boobs don't sweat? You have boobs.
We don't have boobs.
My boobs sweat like balls.
But first, whether you like it or not, you're pretty much always on camera.
So strike a pose.
We're taking pictures.
I like pictures 'cause I'm dumb, and I don't wanna read.
I just wanna stare.
Girls have pictures of everything.
Like if I was a detective, I would never even ask a girl, "Oh, I think you may have murdered this person.
" I'd like, "Let me see your" "phone," and then you would have pictures to prove every second of your day stored on your phone.
"Okay, you weren't there.
" I hate when skinny people post pictures of their skinny bodies and they're like, "Can't wait to eat cheesecake tonight!" Like, yes, you can! You probably wait all the time! Oh! If a tree falls in the forest, and no one heard it, did it make a sound? If you did something and you didn't Instagram it, did you do it? I look at photos of me and I'm like, "Oh, I'm not that bad," and then I look in the mirror when I wake up in the morning, and I'm like "How did Jack Nicholson get here?" I am definitely better looking in photos because once this mouth opens, it's like a done deal.
You know, that Tinder date is over.
Like, some people are more photogenic than they are real-a-genic? So, I think if you just take good pictures, you're like, "I'm pretty somewhere.
" I think I'm better looking in pictures duh.
I have filters.
I can't add a filter right now.
(bleep), there's no Valencia.
There's no Hudson.
There's no Walden.
A lot of people do this.
They do the airbrush apps, and when people see in person and then people are going "Oh, you" look like (bleep).
" But if they didn't have that reference beforehand, they would think you look (bleep) great.
True.
So stop with the selfies, you (bleep) idiots.
You could be great at taking selfies, but that doesn't mean you're gonna be great at posing in a group photo scenario.
In group photos, you always have a person who like, didn't make it in time, so they have to crouch in the front.
And they're like, "I'm in this" photo, right? "I'm in it?" and they kind of make it look like a basketball photo and you're like, "We're not going for a sporty look.
Stop.
" There's also like the person in the back who can't really make it in, they're like not tall enough They're just a face.
And there's always that person who got like the perfect spot, who is like "This is really just" a selfie with a bunch of extras "in it.
" Here's the thing.
Always ask for your camera to be the one to be used.
Then you can add filters.
Now you look like (bleep) Beyoncé and they all look like Michelle.
There's no way you can convince me that the group photo that I'm looking at right now was approved by every member in the group.
Somebody hated it.
And somebody was like, "Well, guess what, Tanya? Shut your slut mouth.
We're posting it 'cause I look good.
" The rule for taking a group photo should be that you have to look at everyone in the picture.
And if you don't look good, but more people look good in the others, then use that one.
Don't be selfish.
Be selfie-ish.
People want to post suggestive photos so they can be like "Look at me.
" I have these things on my body that are called private parts, "but I'll show them to you.
" The caption is always alluding to something else.
Like, "Makin' a salad" but then it's like you with your butt in the air.
And the salad, like, all the way in the background.
With a fork next to it! And everybody comments "Your ass.
" "Look at your ass.
" "I like your ass.
" You're like, "Hey! This picture is not about my butt.
I made a salad!" Like I saw a girl, a photo of a girl doing a split, okay, in front of a mirror in boy shorts, taking a selfie and she goes, "New phone case!" You're out here trying to thirst trap.
To me, you don't appear confident.
You don't appear sexy.
Because you're thirst-trapping fishing, if you will for compliments and the approval of the masses.
Seeing people's posts of them hanging out makes me feel so bad 'cause I'm just like, "You guys didn't invite me.
Like, I didn't even know this was happening.
" There's times I feel hurt.
When I see my buddies at a party, everybody's having a good time, I go, "Oh, I guess", you know" Do you cry? I don't cry, but like I do I would I'd be lying if I didn't feel a little emotion.
Not only do I get sad, I'll usually comment on it, like, "Aw, c'mon!" Where am I?!" And then I'll tell them the sad thing I'm doing.
It doesn't get me invited to more things, it's just what I do.
Coming up, bad sushi isn't the only thing that will make you barf.
Watching surgery on TV.
Even when people just vaguely mention eyeballs ugh! Even now, like ugh.
Eyeballs, ugh.
Couples that like to do PDA in pictures, AKA taking relationship "us" ies I can't.
I get it Y'all be kissin'.
But do I have to see that every day on Instagram all day? Why is your whole Instagram feed mmm-mmm-nya? I can't! Welcome back to "GirlCode".
What goes up must come down.
But this time, it's the other way around.
Can someone give me the trash can? I'm gonna vom.
Ugh! Ugh! I hate it! I hate puke.
It makes me so upset.
drinking, that's like the number one.
Food poisoning, um Like, a naked William Shatner.
Watching surgery on TV.
Even when people just vaguely mention eyeballs ugh! Even now, like ugh.
Eyeballs, ugh.
Oh wait, I'm sorry, there's another thing.
When guys are bald and they a ponytail? That also makes me wanna throw up.
I know girls who say "I'm" gonna puke" like 15 times a day and they never puke.
I've never seen them puke, but everything in life, it's like "I'm gonna puke.
" "This sandwich has mayonnaise.
I'm gonna puke.
" "Ew, Kanye West.
I'm gonna puke.
" "Ew, like, your feet! I'm gonna puke.
" Don't go to Mexico that is the point of this! - Mexico is you vomit in Mexico.
- Everything bad has happened in Mexico.
That's why the immigrants are coming into the country.
- It has nothing to do with jobs or opportunity - It's to keep a meal down.
Exactly! I tend to vomit when I eat a frickin' expensive meal because it was so rich like, I'm a poor person, so I don't usually get to eat rich person foods? And I think my stomach's like, "Quit it!" What's goin' on up there? What's all this rich stuff? "I ain't got no use fer this!" And then it like, chucks it out.
It's really hard to control vomiting, one way or the other.
I start to like breathe heavy.
Breathe through your nose, bitch.
Let it out through your mouth.
Happy thoughts, Ryan Gosling, - unicorns - I go like this.
No Oh no.
Oh, it's happening.
I don't want it to happen Don't try to stop yourself from vomiting 'cause it's gonna come up.
If you hold it in for too long, it's just gonna be like that weird dribble vomit that you can't control.
The vomit has to be seen.
It has to come, you know.
So then it turns into this projectile moment.
Now you look like you're on "The Exorcist".
You know, that's the best when you have to vomit and you put your hand on your mouth, and then the vomit just squirts through your fingers, so it's just like a sprinkler of vomit.
If you're on transportation and you have to puke, get away from people so they don't see so you don't ruin their day.
Like if you puke on a train, you are ruining everyone's (bleep) day.
Puking in public is kinda cool because you can get a chain reaction, it's like you can see how many other people you can make puke.
It's like dominoes.
My worst vomiting story was when I was a go-go dancer in Santa Fe, New Mexico and the "Real World Road Rules Challenge" was in Santa Fe.
And I was so excited they were in town, I was sick, so I drank a bunch of Day-Quil to go party.
And then I drank a bunch of Jaeger, probably.
Or White Russians or something (bleep) dumb.
And just got so sick and vomited all over the cast.
Like, they had to hold Coral back from trying to beat me up.
Coral! I was in a blackout.
I just got told these stories.
If someone else vomits, I'm like not gonna be the hero that holds back the hair.
I don't know why holding back hair is this like badge of honor, like "Oh, you're such a" good person," like you're helping the homeless.
In the meantime, they're vomiting, going like, "Get the (bleep) away from me! I'm vomiting, get out of here!" Like, all people want is privacy and I'm like, "Shh, shh.
" This is like how good of a friend I am.
My roommate years and years ago, she I probably shouldn't say this, but we like went out, got really drunk and she was like, "I'm gonna throw up," and she couldn't.
She was over the garbage can and she kept heaving.
She was like, and I put my fingers down her throat and I pushed her head down and she was like "Bleh!" Then I was like, "Yeah!" I was like, "You know who did that? "Don't ever forget that.
" It's less gross if a boyfriend vomits, but I don't know why.
When you love somebody, it doesn't matter what they're doing.
Like, I feel like, if they have vomit coming out of their mouth and diarrhea coming out of their butt, you still say like "You know what? I can look past all that stuff because I kissed that mouth.
" You know what's (bleep) up? When my girlfriend was vomiting once, I was holding her hair - back and I was kind of holding her by her waist - You grabbed her titties.
And I grabbed a tit.
I did grab a boob.
"I don't want you to get any vomit on your boobs, babe, so I'm just gonna hold your boobs back with your hair.
And you'll be fine.
" That's what my boyfriend does for my muffin top.
- He just holds back the fup'? - He's just "Let me hold your fupa back.
" This is competitive eater Carlene LeFevre and she's gonna teach us how to eat hot dogs like a champ.
I'm the champ.
We might be too.
No, I don't uh-uh.
Ohhhh! Daaaaamn! GirlCode Tries! We're all doing (bleep) we've never tried! Can you just demonstrate your technique with us? Okay.
Take one, rip it.
Yum yum yum! Ohh, she's doing it! Oh my God! Did you guys catch that? 'Cause it was fast.
So I'm just gonna try one.
I'm just gonna jump in.
So rip, I saw her rip.
No, faster! Faster! No, no, you gotta eat the bun.
Dip the bun! You have to be busy breaking, getting That was harder than I thought, and I thought I could really get big things in my mouth, but I guess I can't.
Are you disqualified for puking? The words "puke" and "vomit" are not really used in the competitive eating circle.
What's the word for it? Reversal of fortune.
Ah.
I'm gonna have three reversals of fortune today.
These ladies will have two minutes to cram in as many hot dogs as they can.
You're allowed dunking but be careful because the water will be checked at the end.
Three, two, one eat! Don't waste any time.
Push it in! More water on the buns.
They have to be dripping.
Keep going let's go! Put 'em both in at the same time.
Come on, come on! It won't go down! No reversals of fortune allowed or you're DQ'd.
Oh God.
I see a hot dog in the water.
Ten seconds! You're allowed to chipmunk.
There's a hot dog in the water.
I feel like I won this thing.
Oh, that was so awful.
I threw up twice! Do you want me to count mine? I have 11.
Nine, ten, 11.
She spit some in the bucket! I see that.
I spit, I had to.
Oh.
I guess it looks like, um, Awkwafina's the winner.
I now present you with the most beautiful trophy I have ever seen in my life.
Thank you.
I'd like to thank Carlene for visiting us.
This trophy is more yours Be careful Oh! You broke You broke my trophy.
Are you kidding? we're all looking for that one special person.
You've got a little bit of a belly so, when I get bored, I can be like Da da da da da da da da da! And he'll be like, "That's" annoying, " and I'll be like " But you still love me, right?" He'll be like, "Yeah.
" And later, things get out of hand when our girls get together.
I had a water bra, I ran into a subway turnstile, it popped.
Ah! Welcome back to "GirlCode".
They say that one is the loneliest number.
Except when you find each other.
My ideal One is 6'2 ", 6'3", maybe 6'4", he's white, he's got a little bit of a belly so when I get bored, I can be like Da da da da da da da da da And he'll be like, "That's" annoying, " and I'll be like " But you still love me, right?" He'll be like, "Yeah.
" My ideal One would have the jaw structure of a young Liam Neeson, the balls of a current day Donald Sutherland, and he would have big arms, like the Hulk.
Very funny, very sweet, well-spoken, has a job, loves his parents, has no kids Wait, can I keep going? A man who is gonna love me more than I love him, be fine with it and be a stay-at-home dad.
I know that I may not find that, but it's okay for me to want it.
And I do think I deserve it.
Mm-mm-mm Mm-mm-mm-mm The One is like this concept that there is one person in the universe and when you meet them, you know and sparks fly and you're soulmates and you're meant to be and you were created before you were even created to be together and maybe you were in a past life and it's just so amazing and it's total bull(bleep).
I believe in The One because I've watched so many Julia Roberts movies as a kid, but then, again, I will never be able to find The One because I watched too many Julia Roberts movies as a kid.
I'll never be happy with anybody.
There's one person.
What if he lives in Croatia? On a farm? There's gonna be a language barrier, I'm gonna have to pull him away from his goats.
He's gonna be like "I don't want" "to go to America," and I'll be like, "Well, you're The One.
" "So, you're coming.
" Carrie Bradshaw says you get three great loves in your life.
And I do believe that.
I do believe there's like a finite amount of great loves that you can have.
But I don't believe that there is the one singular person in the world, because like, you could fall in love with someone and then you change, he changes, and then he's no longer The One.
See ya later, goodbye! And also, people are dating the wrong person.
So people might be taking what is your One and you just it's hard I don't really You know what? We can't prove it, so I'm not believing it.
I think my boyfriend's The One.
And I know because he's so cute, I wanna shake him and I wanna punch him in the face and I wanna throw him out a window.
I definitely found The One.
Yeah.
And you know when you've found The One 'cause you can't stop thinking about them, and you don't know why.
They, like, never leave your mind.
The guy has to be really into you.
I just I really feel this and I'm trying to look out for you.
Don't be the one who's always thirsting over the guy and exposing your vulnerability and telling him he's The One.
Let him tell you you're The One.
If you tell me I'm the One? Like, yes, I'm flattered, but now I feel very I feel I'm in a high-pressure situation where if we break up, you're gonna, you know, really do some damage to yourself, to me and to my future girlfriends, and you know, small animals I may own.
I was dating this guy.
He thought I was his One.
I did not think he was my One because he was a lawyer who didn't make any money, strangely.
He shared an apartment with another girl and didn't have a wall between their bedrooms so they were just like sleeping in the same room, and he had an alcohol problem.
So I was like, "You're not my One.
You're not even my 45th.
" I remember, I was 14 when I first fell in love and I was like, I love him so much.
We're gonna be together forever.
He wears two gold chains.
Oh my God.
He buys me a 42, I love him.
We loved DMX.
If I was with that person still, I would be doing conjugal visits because he's in prison.
I thought I met The One.
Until I found out he was (bleep) escorts, had side chicks, was lying to me, was mean to me.
But he's not the One! He's that one.
Mm.
You've gotta get rid of him.
You have to dump him and you're gonna cry and it's gonna hurt and then for like five months, you're gonna be like "But he was" "The One!" and then, I swear to God, you're gonna see another cute dude, you're gonna hang out with him and you're gonna have a whole new One.
Like, you invest time in a company, you don't keep that company forever.
You sell your shares because now you're a billionaire, so you're gonna be richer in your life when you dump that dead weight.
Is, was that a metaphor? Or that was a metaphor? Wait a comparison.
Ha ha ha oh, man! Coming up, Ask GirlCode goes into the wild to answer your questions on love and life.
Listen, a hunter does not want what's running toward him.
That is a (bleep) terrible thing to compare dating to.
By the way, don't push everybody in your life away from you once you think you've found "The One" because sometimes the one that you think is The One isn't The One and you're not gonna have anybody around when you guys break up.
You're just gonna be one of those sad girls online, on message boards, trying to figure out what's going on.
You're not gonna have anybody to talk to "GirlCode".
Welcome back to "GirlCode".
If undergarments ever left you in a sticky wicket, we've got you covered with Ask GirlCode.
@69camarogrrl asks: I get what she's saying.
Like, when you get out of a relationship, you don't wanna be the rebound, like, the person he's just (bleep) in between.
Yeah.
But every once in a while, you get out of a relationship and you meet the person you're with, like, forever.
So, I don't know Feel it out.
Let it go, just kinda see if he mentions it, and then just have fun.
Don't think too much into it because then you're gonna ruin it and everyone's gonna hate you.
Listen, a hunter does not want what's running toward him.
Mm-hm.
You know what I mean? If I was hunting, I would shoot the deer that was running towards me.
I think it would be great if the deer came running at me.
But he doesn't want it though.
He wants to go chase a deer.
He wants to go chase the thing that's running away behind - the trees - Hunting is like (bleep).
- And leaving the scent.
- That is a (bleep) terrible thing to compare dating to.
@brookebound asks: Oh, that's when your boobs get real sweaty and then they stick to each other, no matter where you put them in your bra.
Cool.
Tanisha has big boobs.
You gotta dry 'em and they separate.
No, sticky boobs - No, my boobs never even like - No moisture.
- Yeah, there's no moisture.
- Are you kidding me? - Your boobs don't sweat? - You have boobs.
- We don't have boobs.
- My boobs sweat like balls.
Okay, this is what it actually is.
You know when you wear chicken cutlets nowadays, they have these little bras that are sticky and you can just stick on your tits.
That's when you take them out and then you got a little sticky leftover tit.
Why am I embarrassed? A little oil, a little oil takes all the stickiness off.
What do you mean, a little oil? If you put oil on your skin, it takes off the extra stuff.
I had a water bra, I ran into into a subway turnstile and it popped.
They didn't know what it was and I was like, "What is?" What is it?" What is it? It's a gel, right? It's not gel it's oil! I thought I was eating a bacon egg and cheese and I was like "My bacon egg and cheese is - everywhere!" - No, no, no!
It's when he winks at you.
Uh-huh.
Ha ha ha! Listen up, ladies.
It's "GirlCode".
On this episode of "GirlCode," it's that gravity-defying moment that brings us to our knees.
Vomiting.
And, sometimes finding true love feels like entering the matrix.
So it can be hard to tell if you've found The One.
Then, the struggle is real on # AskGirlCode.
Are you kidding me? Your boobs don't sweat? You have boobs.
We don't have boobs.
My boobs sweat like balls.
But first, whether you like it or not, you're pretty much always on camera.
So strike a pose.
We're taking pictures.
I like pictures 'cause I'm dumb, and I don't wanna read.
I just wanna stare.
Girls have pictures of everything.
Like if I was a detective, I would never even ask a girl, "Oh, I think you may have murdered this person.
" I'd like, "Let me see your" "phone," and then you would have pictures to prove every second of your day stored on your phone.
"Okay, you weren't there.
" I hate when skinny people post pictures of their skinny bodies and they're like, "Can't wait to eat cheesecake tonight!" Like, yes, you can! You probably wait all the time! Oh! If a tree falls in the forest, and no one heard it, did it make a sound? If you did something and you didn't Instagram it, did you do it? I look at photos of me and I'm like, "Oh, I'm not that bad," and then I look in the mirror when I wake up in the morning, and I'm like "How did Jack Nicholson get here?" I am definitely better looking in photos because once this mouth opens, it's like a done deal.
You know, that Tinder date is over.
Like, some people are more photogenic than they are real-a-genic? So, I think if you just take good pictures, you're like, "I'm pretty somewhere.
" I think I'm better looking in pictures duh.
I have filters.
I can't add a filter right now.
(bleep), there's no Valencia.
There's no Hudson.
There's no Walden.
A lot of people do this.
They do the airbrush apps, and when people see in person and then people are going "Oh, you" look like (bleep).
" But if they didn't have that reference beforehand, they would think you look (bleep) great.
True.
So stop with the selfies, you (bleep) idiots.
You could be great at taking selfies, but that doesn't mean you're gonna be great at posing in a group photo scenario.
In group photos, you always have a person who like, didn't make it in time, so they have to crouch in the front.
And they're like, "I'm in this" photo, right? "I'm in it?" and they kind of make it look like a basketball photo and you're like, "We're not going for a sporty look.
Stop.
" There's also like the person in the back who can't really make it in, they're like not tall enough They're just a face.
And there's always that person who got like the perfect spot, who is like "This is really just" a selfie with a bunch of extras "in it.
" Here's the thing.
Always ask for your camera to be the one to be used.
Then you can add filters.
Now you look like (bleep) Beyoncé and they all look like Michelle.
There's no way you can convince me that the group photo that I'm looking at right now was approved by every member in the group.
Somebody hated it.
And somebody was like, "Well, guess what, Tanya? Shut your slut mouth.
We're posting it 'cause I look good.
" The rule for taking a group photo should be that you have to look at everyone in the picture.
And if you don't look good, but more people look good in the others, then use that one.
Don't be selfish.
Be selfie-ish.
People want to post suggestive photos so they can be like "Look at me.
" I have these things on my body that are called private parts, "but I'll show them to you.
" The caption is always alluding to something else.
Like, "Makin' a salad" but then it's like you with your butt in the air.
And the salad, like, all the way in the background.
With a fork next to it! And everybody comments "Your ass.
" "Look at your ass.
" "I like your ass.
" You're like, "Hey! This picture is not about my butt.
I made a salad!" Like I saw a girl, a photo of a girl doing a split, okay, in front of a mirror in boy shorts, taking a selfie and she goes, "New phone case!" You're out here trying to thirst trap.
To me, you don't appear confident.
You don't appear sexy.
Because you're thirst-trapping fishing, if you will for compliments and the approval of the masses.
Seeing people's posts of them hanging out makes me feel so bad 'cause I'm just like, "You guys didn't invite me.
Like, I didn't even know this was happening.
" There's times I feel hurt.
When I see my buddies at a party, everybody's having a good time, I go, "Oh, I guess", you know" Do you cry? I don't cry, but like I do I would I'd be lying if I didn't feel a little emotion.
Not only do I get sad, I'll usually comment on it, like, "Aw, c'mon!" Where am I?!" And then I'll tell them the sad thing I'm doing.
It doesn't get me invited to more things, it's just what I do.
Coming up, bad sushi isn't the only thing that will make you barf.
Watching surgery on TV.
Even when people just vaguely mention eyeballs ugh! Even now, like ugh.
Eyeballs, ugh.
Couples that like to do PDA in pictures, AKA taking relationship "us" ies I can't.
I get it Y'all be kissin'.
But do I have to see that every day on Instagram all day? Why is your whole Instagram feed mmm-mmm-nya? I can't! Welcome back to "GirlCode".
What goes up must come down.
But this time, it's the other way around.
Can someone give me the trash can? I'm gonna vom.
Ugh! Ugh! I hate it! I hate puke.
It makes me so upset.
drinking, that's like the number one.
Food poisoning, um Like, a naked William Shatner.
Watching surgery on TV.
Even when people just vaguely mention eyeballs ugh! Even now, like ugh.
Eyeballs, ugh.
Oh wait, I'm sorry, there's another thing.
When guys are bald and they a ponytail? That also makes me wanna throw up.
I know girls who say "I'm" gonna puke" like 15 times a day and they never puke.
I've never seen them puke, but everything in life, it's like "I'm gonna puke.
" "This sandwich has mayonnaise.
I'm gonna puke.
" "Ew, Kanye West.
I'm gonna puke.
" "Ew, like, your feet! I'm gonna puke.
" Don't go to Mexico that is the point of this! - Mexico is you vomit in Mexico.
- Everything bad has happened in Mexico.
That's why the immigrants are coming into the country.
- It has nothing to do with jobs or opportunity - It's to keep a meal down.
Exactly! I tend to vomit when I eat a frickin' expensive meal because it was so rich like, I'm a poor person, so I don't usually get to eat rich person foods? And I think my stomach's like, "Quit it!" What's goin' on up there? What's all this rich stuff? "I ain't got no use fer this!" And then it like, chucks it out.
It's really hard to control vomiting, one way or the other.
I start to like breathe heavy.
Breathe through your nose, bitch.
Let it out through your mouth.
Happy thoughts, Ryan Gosling, - unicorns - I go like this.
No Oh no.
Oh, it's happening.
I don't want it to happen Don't try to stop yourself from vomiting 'cause it's gonna come up.
If you hold it in for too long, it's just gonna be like that weird dribble vomit that you can't control.
The vomit has to be seen.
It has to come, you know.
So then it turns into this projectile moment.
Now you look like you're on "The Exorcist".
You know, that's the best when you have to vomit and you put your hand on your mouth, and then the vomit just squirts through your fingers, so it's just like a sprinkler of vomit.
If you're on transportation and you have to puke, get away from people so they don't see so you don't ruin their day.
Like if you puke on a train, you are ruining everyone's (bleep) day.
Puking in public is kinda cool because you can get a chain reaction, it's like you can see how many other people you can make puke.
It's like dominoes.
My worst vomiting story was when I was a go-go dancer in Santa Fe, New Mexico and the "Real World Road Rules Challenge" was in Santa Fe.
And I was so excited they were in town, I was sick, so I drank a bunch of Day-Quil to go party.
And then I drank a bunch of Jaeger, probably.
Or White Russians or something (bleep) dumb.
And just got so sick and vomited all over the cast.
Like, they had to hold Coral back from trying to beat me up.
Coral! I was in a blackout.
I just got told these stories.
If someone else vomits, I'm like not gonna be the hero that holds back the hair.
I don't know why holding back hair is this like badge of honor, like "Oh, you're such a" good person," like you're helping the homeless.
In the meantime, they're vomiting, going like, "Get the (bleep) away from me! I'm vomiting, get out of here!" Like, all people want is privacy and I'm like, "Shh, shh.
" This is like how good of a friend I am.
My roommate years and years ago, she I probably shouldn't say this, but we like went out, got really drunk and she was like, "I'm gonna throw up," and she couldn't.
She was over the garbage can and she kept heaving.
She was like, and I put my fingers down her throat and I pushed her head down and she was like "Bleh!" Then I was like, "Yeah!" I was like, "You know who did that? "Don't ever forget that.
" It's less gross if a boyfriend vomits, but I don't know why.
When you love somebody, it doesn't matter what they're doing.
Like, I feel like, if they have vomit coming out of their mouth and diarrhea coming out of their butt, you still say like "You know what? I can look past all that stuff because I kissed that mouth.
" You know what's (bleep) up? When my girlfriend was vomiting once, I was holding her hair - back and I was kind of holding her by her waist - You grabbed her titties.
And I grabbed a tit.
I did grab a boob.
"I don't want you to get any vomit on your boobs, babe, so I'm just gonna hold your boobs back with your hair.
And you'll be fine.
" That's what my boyfriend does for my muffin top.
- He just holds back the fup'? - He's just "Let me hold your fupa back.
" This is competitive eater Carlene LeFevre and she's gonna teach us how to eat hot dogs like a champ.
I'm the champ.
We might be too.
No, I don't uh-uh.
Ohhhh! Daaaaamn! GirlCode Tries! We're all doing (bleep) we've never tried! Can you just demonstrate your technique with us? Okay.
Take one, rip it.
Yum yum yum! Ohh, she's doing it! Oh my God! Did you guys catch that? 'Cause it was fast.
So I'm just gonna try one.
I'm just gonna jump in.
So rip, I saw her rip.
No, faster! Faster! No, no, you gotta eat the bun.
Dip the bun! You have to be busy breaking, getting That was harder than I thought, and I thought I could really get big things in my mouth, but I guess I can't.
Are you disqualified for puking? The words "puke" and "vomit" are not really used in the competitive eating circle.
What's the word for it? Reversal of fortune.
Ah.
I'm gonna have three reversals of fortune today.
These ladies will have two minutes to cram in as many hot dogs as they can.
You're allowed dunking but be careful because the water will be checked at the end.
Three, two, one eat! Don't waste any time.
Push it in! More water on the buns.
They have to be dripping.
Keep going let's go! Put 'em both in at the same time.
Come on, come on! It won't go down! No reversals of fortune allowed or you're DQ'd.
Oh God.
I see a hot dog in the water.
Ten seconds! You're allowed to chipmunk.
There's a hot dog in the water.
I feel like I won this thing.
Oh, that was so awful.
I threw up twice! Do you want me to count mine? I have 11.
Nine, ten, 11.
She spit some in the bucket! I see that.
I spit, I had to.
Oh.
I guess it looks like, um, Awkwafina's the winner.
I now present you with the most beautiful trophy I have ever seen in my life.
Thank you.
I'd like to thank Carlene for visiting us.
This trophy is more yours Be careful Oh! You broke You broke my trophy.
Are you kidding? we're all looking for that one special person.
You've got a little bit of a belly so, when I get bored, I can be like Da da da da da da da da da! And he'll be like, "That's" annoying, " and I'll be like " But you still love me, right?" He'll be like, "Yeah.
" And later, things get out of hand when our girls get together.
I had a water bra, I ran into a subway turnstile, it popped.
Ah! Welcome back to "GirlCode".
They say that one is the loneliest number.
Except when you find each other.
My ideal One is 6'2 ", 6'3", maybe 6'4", he's white, he's got a little bit of a belly so when I get bored, I can be like Da da da da da da da da da And he'll be like, "That's" annoying, " and I'll be like " But you still love me, right?" He'll be like, "Yeah.
" My ideal One would have the jaw structure of a young Liam Neeson, the balls of a current day Donald Sutherland, and he would have big arms, like the Hulk.
Very funny, very sweet, well-spoken, has a job, loves his parents, has no kids Wait, can I keep going? A man who is gonna love me more than I love him, be fine with it and be a stay-at-home dad.
I know that I may not find that, but it's okay for me to want it.
And I do think I deserve it.
Mm-mm-mm Mm-mm-mm-mm The One is like this concept that there is one person in the universe and when you meet them, you know and sparks fly and you're soulmates and you're meant to be and you were created before you were even created to be together and maybe you were in a past life and it's just so amazing and it's total bull(bleep).
I believe in The One because I've watched so many Julia Roberts movies as a kid, but then, again, I will never be able to find The One because I watched too many Julia Roberts movies as a kid.
I'll never be happy with anybody.
There's one person.
What if he lives in Croatia? On a farm? There's gonna be a language barrier, I'm gonna have to pull him away from his goats.
He's gonna be like "I don't want" "to go to America," and I'll be like, "Well, you're The One.
" "So, you're coming.
" Carrie Bradshaw says you get three great loves in your life.
And I do believe that.
I do believe there's like a finite amount of great loves that you can have.
But I don't believe that there is the one singular person in the world, because like, you could fall in love with someone and then you change, he changes, and then he's no longer The One.
See ya later, goodbye! And also, people are dating the wrong person.
So people might be taking what is your One and you just it's hard I don't really You know what? We can't prove it, so I'm not believing it.
I think my boyfriend's The One.
And I know because he's so cute, I wanna shake him and I wanna punch him in the face and I wanna throw him out a window.
I definitely found The One.
Yeah.
And you know when you've found The One 'cause you can't stop thinking about them, and you don't know why.
They, like, never leave your mind.
The guy has to be really into you.
I just I really feel this and I'm trying to look out for you.
Don't be the one who's always thirsting over the guy and exposing your vulnerability and telling him he's The One.
Let him tell you you're The One.
If you tell me I'm the One? Like, yes, I'm flattered, but now I feel very I feel I'm in a high-pressure situation where if we break up, you're gonna, you know, really do some damage to yourself, to me and to my future girlfriends, and you know, small animals I may own.
I was dating this guy.
He thought I was his One.
I did not think he was my One because he was a lawyer who didn't make any money, strangely.
He shared an apartment with another girl and didn't have a wall between their bedrooms so they were just like sleeping in the same room, and he had an alcohol problem.
So I was like, "You're not my One.
You're not even my 45th.
" I remember, I was 14 when I first fell in love and I was like, I love him so much.
We're gonna be together forever.
He wears two gold chains.
Oh my God.
He buys me a 42, I love him.
We loved DMX.
If I was with that person still, I would be doing conjugal visits because he's in prison.
I thought I met The One.
Until I found out he was (bleep) escorts, had side chicks, was lying to me, was mean to me.
But he's not the One! He's that one.
Mm.
You've gotta get rid of him.
You have to dump him and you're gonna cry and it's gonna hurt and then for like five months, you're gonna be like "But he was" "The One!" and then, I swear to God, you're gonna see another cute dude, you're gonna hang out with him and you're gonna have a whole new One.
Like, you invest time in a company, you don't keep that company forever.
You sell your shares because now you're a billionaire, so you're gonna be richer in your life when you dump that dead weight.
Is, was that a metaphor? Or that was a metaphor? Wait a comparison.
Ha ha ha oh, man! Coming up, Ask GirlCode goes into the wild to answer your questions on love and life.
Listen, a hunter does not want what's running toward him.
That is a (bleep) terrible thing to compare dating to.
By the way, don't push everybody in your life away from you once you think you've found "The One" because sometimes the one that you think is The One isn't The One and you're not gonna have anybody around when you guys break up.
You're just gonna be one of those sad girls online, on message boards, trying to figure out what's going on.
You're not gonna have anybody to talk to "GirlCode".
Welcome back to "GirlCode".
If undergarments ever left you in a sticky wicket, we've got you covered with Ask GirlCode.
@69camarogrrl asks: I get what she's saying.
Like, when you get out of a relationship, you don't wanna be the rebound, like, the person he's just (bleep) in between.
Yeah.
But every once in a while, you get out of a relationship and you meet the person you're with, like, forever.
So, I don't know Feel it out.
Let it go, just kinda see if he mentions it, and then just have fun.
Don't think too much into it because then you're gonna ruin it and everyone's gonna hate you.
Listen, a hunter does not want what's running toward him.
Mm-hm.
You know what I mean? If I was hunting, I would shoot the deer that was running towards me.
I think it would be great if the deer came running at me.
But he doesn't want it though.
He wants to go chase a deer.
He wants to go chase the thing that's running away behind - the trees - Hunting is like (bleep).
- And leaving the scent.
- That is a (bleep) terrible thing to compare dating to.
@brookebound asks: Oh, that's when your boobs get real sweaty and then they stick to each other, no matter where you put them in your bra.
Cool.
Tanisha has big boobs.
You gotta dry 'em and they separate.
No, sticky boobs - No, my boobs never even like - No moisture.
- Yeah, there's no moisture.
- Are you kidding me? - Your boobs don't sweat? - You have boobs.
- We don't have boobs.
- My boobs sweat like balls.
Okay, this is what it actually is.
You know when you wear chicken cutlets nowadays, they have these little bras that are sticky and you can just stick on your tits.
That's when you take them out and then you got a little sticky leftover tit.
Why am I embarrassed? A little oil, a little oil takes all the stickiness off.
What do you mean, a little oil? If you put oil on your skin, it takes off the extra stuff.
I had a water bra, I ran into into a subway turnstile and it popped.
They didn't know what it was and I was like, "What is?" What is it?" What is it? It's a gel, right? It's not gel it's oil! I thought I was eating a bacon egg and cheese and I was like "My bacon egg and cheese is - everywhere!" - No, no, no!