Girlfriends Guide To Divorce (2014) s04e06 Episode Script

Rule #155: Go With the Magician

1 Previously on "Girlfriends' Guide to Divorce" I was making eggs in a hole, and I, uh Dad.
I'd like to make a toast for being by my side.
I think we make a really damn good team.
- I'm a single parent myself.
- Oh.
My wife died a while ago.
I'm so sorry.
You disappeared for months without so much as a phone call.
Why don't you just give me a chance? The deal's off.
It's a buyer's market.
No, I understand that they'd be pissed.
Shit.
We're both in this new place - Yeah.
- And it feels good.
I noticed your neighbor closed up shop.
- The record store.
- Yeah.
- Last week, yeah.
- This all-female advertising thing better work, because you just tied us to it.
But you trusted me to oversee everything.
This was not my vision.
This isn't about you anymore.
You can get on board, or you can Or I can what? Or you can get out of the way.
- - I did try to warn her that writing an in-depth piece on men's rights groups was gonna kick up an epic shitstorm, and I believe I did use that exact phrase: epic shitstorm.
So, you know, I was ignored.
Par for the course.
Mm.
I hear you, Abby.
Please feel heard.
Hmm.
How does all that make you feel? - It frustrates me - Mm.
When Abby suggests that I ignore her, as I often feel she steamrolls over me - I do that is - Whenever we have an important decision to make.
Maybe when we first started.
Seriously, I challenge you to name one time in the Exhibit A: Steamrolling.
Live show.
Abby, Barbara's trying to express her feelings.
Please, let her finish.
Look.
Did the men's rights piece backfire? A little.
But it was noisy.
"Noisy.
" Well, that's her new favorite word.
Sorry.
Abby less noisy.
Can we talk about what's really bothering you? What is really bothering me? - The profile on me in "Lenny.
" - Come on.
We're finally getting some heat "Heat.
" Oh, my God.
I think we should capitalize on it.
We've had two new advertisers since the You see that? Kathy Lee and Hoda video went viral two.
She can't even give me credit for the progress we've made.
And she acts like, "Oh, everything's so good now.
" This whole PR thing is not even about the budget.
- and punish me as if - It's ego, and you know it.
Halt! Bookmark that, okay? Where are you going? Your hour's up, and I have a phoner in five minutes, so it's a shut-in.
Until next time, you two I cut my teeth I skinned my knees Wow.
Good sesh.
- Mm-hmm.
- Catharsis.
Yeah.
Getting our money's worth.
Uh, you headed back to the office? Uh, home, where your boyfriend is.
He's overseeing my kitchen renovation, and I have to check in on my dad, because he's having a hard time adjusting to the new nurse.
They haven't built trust yet, so, yeah.
Got it.
Well, say hi to my BF.
I will.
I think I love him.
He and I are carpooling to Phoebe's tonight.
- He mentioned.
Can't miss that.
- Yeah.
I don't want to not meet the famous Keiko.
Oh, no, won't you stay Don't you try to run away Make me shiver, make me shake Wow.
Leave it to you to throw a good-bye party for a Japanese tourist you've only known for two weeks.
Well, it's been a magical two weeks.
I feel very connected to Keiko.
It's like I've known her my whole life.
She doesn't speak a word of English.
We don't have to communicate through words.
It's much deeper than that.
And having her around is It's very beneficial for the kids, culturally.
Wow, who knew? Renting out a guesthouse Home school for hippies.
- Here you go.
- Thank you.
I've got this.
No.
No, no, no, no.
I'm gonna get it.
I'm not bankrupt.
Let me get it, please.
Thank you.
In exchange, we are gonna go to the tarot card reader on the way out.
Oh, my gosh, that weird lady sitting behind that box in the alleyway? No.
She smelled like hash browns and drywall.
Yeah, well, we're doing it.
I really need this right now.
I need some guidance with everything that happened with the house sale.
Oh, I cannot believe I messed it up.
I'm such a disaster.
You're a beautiful disaster at worst.
Well, that's very sweet, and way to quote a Kelly Clarkson song.
- Did I? - You did.
Good for me.
She's got pipes.
So what's the realtor saying? Mm.
That she needs to take a breather, and that she wants to lower the price, and I've been sending my resume out to everyone, and zero bites, and I am sure that Damien Fields is just trashing my name around town.
Enough with the negativity.
You're doing great.
Am I? Yes.
I'm proud of you.
Your shit's tight.
Believe in yourself.
Believe in myself? Wow.
Who are you, Jo? I'm so sorry.
I know.
It's gross.
It's just, like, my life is kind of stable right now with the bakery and the bald guy and my kid's warming up to him, and it's freaking me the F out.
The universe is just on your side.
- Mm.
- You just got to trust it.
Mm.
Speaking of universe, I think we should go get our tarot cards.
Oh, Jesus.
Please don't do this to me.
Come on.
Let's go.
So we feel 30% is only fair.
My client was present for the conception of the idea, while he developed it.
We think it is much more.
[CLEARS THROAT.]
Miss Banai, everything okay? Hmm? Yeah.
[CLEARS THROAT.]
Excuse me.
I think I'm just going to Lay down.
Ooh.
Ooh.
[CHUCKLES.]
My money goes on husband number one, rock star guy.
What's the band's name again? I'm embarrassed to admit, but it sounds a little bit like "Pickle Back.
" Stop deflecting.
What she said is Who? Who said what to you? A very thoughtful tarot card reader informed Phoebe that a man from her past is coming back into her life.
What if it's J.
D.
? He was sweet.
Oh, no.
She's much better off.
You know, Ralph at least had a set of testes on him.
- Please don't say "testes.
" - You know what? I'm not playing this game.
Your prediction.
Tell your daughter.
Please.
That woman was a lunatic.
An opportunity is gonna come into her life, and when it does, your mom has to grab on to it or something.
That sounds cool.
What if it's about the empty store? Since when are you into tarot? I thought I raised a realist? What store? What empty store? The record store that's right next door to us.
It closed down about a month ago.
Apparently, the Venice hipsters - woke up and realized it's not 1972.
- You should talk to Glenn about it.
- Who's Glenn? What's happening? - Glenn is our landlord.
He owns half of the buildings on this block, and we don't talk to Glenn unless we absolutely have to, because Glenn is a sexist sleaze machine who wears moccasins to the gym and probably voted for Trump.
It doesn't matter.
You need to lease the building.
It's fate.
You could open an old vintage T-shirt store.
No, I only do fake vintage.
Less smelly.
How about an independent bookstore? Oh, that's be so cute.
You could be like Meg Ryan in "You've Got Mail.
" - What about a yoga studio? - No.
Pilates.
Pilates is out, so it's gonna be in again real soon.
And tell yourself Okay, well, I hear what you're saying.
- Mom! Come on! - Mom, I'm going to Jade's.
Do you need Yes.
No.
It's fine, sweetie.
You know, I just don't understand how the stone for my counter-top doesn't exist anymore.
It's out of stock, so we're gonna have to move on to plan B.
Mom, Clark is making s'mores! I don't want to be late.
He'll eat all of them.
I promise you we will get there.
Okay, but the thing is BunBun? Bun-Bun! - Awesome.
- Grandpa, I'm right here.
I'm also Bun-Bun, honey.
Dad, I thought you were resting.
How late are you gonna be out tonight? Not late.
11-ish or something like that.
Wait.
What were we just talking about? We can move forward.
Tomorrow I'm gonna bring you some counter-top Okay, and how is that gonna affect our timeline? A week, maybe, but I will do my best to get you back on schedule, Abby.
Bun-Bun, don't miss your curfew.
You know how it worries your mom.
Dad, Mom's not here anymore.
Right.
Whoops.
[CHUCKLES.]
I'm a little scattered these days.
- Okay.
- Oh.
Um, all right, so Lilly, uh you are driving to Jade's, right? Yeah, I'm gonna drop Charlie off.
Excellent.
And here is the diet Well, I'd prefer Zero, but whatever.
Um, all right, well, that is what we have.
Hey.
How much longer is your break? Because my dad is up, and I think he's having a little bit of an episode.
14 more minutes.
Okay.
Well, breaks are important.
Enjoy that.
Charlie, don't leave yet.
Give me a hug.
- I love you.
- I love you too.
- I'll see you in the morning.
- Okay.
You are you sleeping at Jade's? Um, yeah, for a couple nights.
A couple of nights? It's a lot here.
I just it's becoming so much, I just I need to I know, honey.
I feel the same way.
It's very chaotic, but it's temporary, and it's gonna settle down.
When? It's not gonna settle.
You don't do settled.
[INDISTINCT CHATTER.]
[SIGHS.]
[OVERLAPPING CHATTER.]
Keeping my eyes wide shut Well, I think Mr.
Back-from-the-Past is Marco.
A lot of unfinished business there.
Wait, which one is he again? Oh, he's the alcoholic with the braids, the urban farmer.
- Yeah, a little preachy, right? - Way preachy.
Okay, I think the guessing portion of the evening has now come to an end.
So, thank you.
I want you to meet Keiko.
- Oh! - Where is she? Keiko? Keiko.
Keiko, come.
Come, meet my friends.
- Oh, hi.
- This is Keiko.
She's from Nagasaki.
Ah.
[SPEAKING JAPANESE.]
Phoebe has been such nice friend.
She has the clap for me.
- You gave Keiko the clap? - No, I did not give Keiko the clap.
I think it just means I'm being supportive, and it's funny.
Bye.
- Bye.
- Hi.
Hey.
- Hey.
- How's the kitchen going? Oh, the kitchen is coming slowly, but we're getting there.
- Slowly.
- Yeah.
Abby deserves a medal.
She is the most patient client I've ever had.
Oh, that's our Abs.
How is Papa McCarthy doing? Uh, he's you know, it wasn't his best night.
Drink? Yes.
It's just, you know, ever since the fire, it's been hard to find a medicine that works for him again.
The mini-stroke just really screwed everything up.
He mentioned my mom as if she was still here, and Oh, I'm sorry, sweetie.
That's tough.
But let us put the kibosh on the sick dad, dead mom chitchat.
It's a party.
Where is this Keiko that I have heard so much about? She is such a powerful spirit, that one.
- Sushi.
You okay? - You all right? Yeah.
Yeah.
I'm fine.
You sure? I heard you had a bit of a fainting spell today during mediation.
- Delia.
- Fainting spell? No, no, that's see, that's typical lawyer hyperbole.
No, no, no.
I'm fine.
It's just a little stomach bug.
Well, you know the norovirus is going around.
You need to be careful.
Well, maybe you're dehydrated.
Did you drink enough water? Maybe you're with child.
- Oh.
- Oh, jeez.
Oh, she's messing with you, D.
Come on.
That's hilarious.
Why don't we get back to guessing Phoebe's ex-lovers.
- That was fun.
- No, it wasn't.
Why are we guessing your ex-lovers? Jo and Phoebe got tarot card readings.
A man from Phoebe's life is coming back.
We're trying to guess who.
- Oh, well, Ralph - Mm, nope.
- Obviously, 100%.
- No.
Don't want that one back in my life.
Why don't we just talk about your tarot card reading? It was much more fascinating than mine.
Oh.
Yeah.
I'll have to agree with that.
- Really? - Yeah.
Yeah.
Are you really considering it? Considering what? There's the building right next Rise is up for lease, and I might open up another business.
I don't know.
But it's not definite.
- Wow.
- I have to do some number crunching, but I don't know if I can afford it.
- Yeah.
- So - Well, I have money.
Need a loan? - Wow.
- You pulling my leg? - No.
Anything you need.
Look, no strings.
So it'd be more of a gift than a loan.
Okay.
You don't even know the business I'm investing in.
I don't even know the business I'm getting.
What if it ends up being a brothel? - Oh - Good.
- I can see the headlines.
- It's a great spot, right? I want to get in on the ground floor.
This is how investments are made, Jo.
You trust the talent.
That's very, very sweet, A.
I'll have to think about it.
Okay.
The offer stands.
Well, I need a real drink.
You got the heavy stuff inside? Oh, yeah.
In the back.
- Oh, all right.
- That sounds good.
Excuse me.
- Danger, Will Robinson.
- Talking about a boyfriend.
- That is a big deal.
- Are you kidding me with that? You guys, I'm not gonna take money from him, come on.
I learned the hard way with Frumpkis.
We invested in Rise.
Where did that end up? - New Mexico.
- New Mexico.
Thank you.
So it's a very sweet offer, and I appreciate his generous behavior, don't we, D.
? - You all right? - You okay? - What's going on? - What? Yeah.
I'm fine.
I am fine.
Excuse me.
Bathroom.
- Oh, yikes.
- Ooh.
- Shit, norovirus.
I kissed her on the lips when I got here.
- I know, 'cause you're dirty.
- Yeah.
[INDISTINCT CHATTER.]
BOTH: Cheers.
There you are.
I've been looking for you.
Sorry.
I needed an introvert break.
Yeah, I hear that.
Are you okay? You seem off.
Abby's not giving you grief about oven knobs You know, can you just lay off Abby? I'm sorry, babe.
Look, it's just being around Abby's dad all day, watching him You know, when he realizes his wife is gone all over again It makes you think of your wife.
Baby it must be tough.
Triggering.
Well, I'm gonna go get another drink.
Would you like a refill? No, I'm fine.
- Ha ha, you're gonna love it.
- Yeah.
I'll be your everything Well, just calm down.
- Don't jump to conclusions.
- No, I'm already jumping.
I can't be pregnant? What? I was kidding before.
Yeah, well, I'm not, okay? Oh, my God, I am spinning out.
Yeah, when I was pregnant with Zooey, I was spinning out too.
Boy, I was [SPEAKING SPANISH.]
- No? Okay, Jo.
- It was bad.
It was bad.
- Jo, that is not helping.
- I'm sick, fatigued.
I missed a period, and I am never late.
Delia, you just got to get a grip.
We can leave right now, go get a test, figure it out.
I can't.
Paul's got his first city council debate in a couple of days, and I got to focus.
Well, if I am, I'll just take care of it.
- Okay.
- All right.
Well, we'll be here for you.
Whatever you need.
- Thank you.
- Yep.
I have to go.
Tell Keiko I said sayonara.
- Yes, I will.
- Thank you.
- Any takers? - Yeah, I'll have one.
- All right, great.
- That is so cute.
Thank you! Excuse me.
Why is Lena setting up PR meetings for the end of the week? Because I asked her to.
Can you put your phone down? We're at a party.
Yes, I know, and I'm sorry, but I am feeling undermined.
This e-mail does not reflect the conversations that we've had on this topic at all.
They're just meetings, and can we not with the "Dr.
Blaker Communications" bullshit right now? We're gonna go.
Yeah, we're gonna hit the road.
Great idea.
- Okay.
Oh, are you guys leaving? Yeah, it was a great party, Phoebe.
- Thank you so much.
- Yeah.
Okay, well, I'll walk you guys out.
It's late.
I'm just gonna hitch a ride with these guys.
- Abby - It's fine.
I get it.
You're right.
You know, we said we would not discuss this tonight, so, okay.
I will call you tomorrow.
- Counter-tops.
- Counter tops.
- Don't say it, please.
- What? I thought she was tough on you.
Uh-huh.
Shall we? Sure.
I'll drop you off.
I thought we were doing your place tonight.
Yeah.
No, I need to be by myself tonight.
Solo.
You okay with that? Yeah, absolutely.
We know how to get things done We know, we know Ugh.
Bun-Bun.
- Oh.
- Sweetie.
- Oh, God.
- Oh, there you are.
I just wanted to make sure you got back safe.
Why are you awake? It's late.
Ah, well Hmm.
Okay.
We're gonna get you to the guesthouse.
Oh, no, not that cell you call a guesthouse.
It was too hot.
Well, lower the temperature, or ask the nurse to.
This is why we got a live-in.
Yeah, but she's asleep.
And she snores.
Like an elephant.
Now come on, tell me all about this party tonight.
It was at Marjorie Lancaster's, right? I haven't seen Marjorie Lancaster in 30 years.
Oh, no.
What happened? We graduated high school.
Marjorie? High high school.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, sure.
Hey, Abby, why don't we go through your yearbooks? - Dad, it's late, and - Come on.
Don't be a killjoy.
We'll wake up Max.
He'll get a kick out of this.
- Max doesn't live here - We could have some cocoa, and we'll stay up late.
Just don't tell your mother.
She's not gonna be so thrilled about this.
We'll just keep this our little secret, okay? Our little secret.
- It's not okay.
- What's not okay? This arrangement.
It's not good for you, Dad.
Cocoa.
Marshmallows.
That's your favorite, right? Come on.
Let's watch a video tape.
We'll watch a movie, huh? Yeah.
[SOMBER MUSIC.]
"Shine" with a "Y" instead of an "I.
" You get it? - "Rise and Shyne"? - Yeah.
- That's clever.
- Hit me at 3:00 a.
m.
I almost broke my neck stumbling around in the dark for a pen, kind of like Benjamin Franklin with the kite thing, huh? You're comparing your juice bar idea to the discovery of electricity? No, no, no.
It's not just a juice bar.
It is a juicing experience.
You see, juices, infusions, omega this, omega that.
We'll have mindfulness seminars and books.
AND HERE'S THE SLOGAN: "You come to Shyne, we will add a year to your life minimum.
" - I'm not sure we can guarantee that.
- We'll workshop it.
I thought you were excited about this.
The other day with Phoebe, you were doing cartwheels.
I know, and I didn't think that you would take it seriously.
I mean, you thought tarot cards were dumb.
Screw all that.
This isn't about fate.
This is about us, this is about diving into something new.
- Can we afford it? - Well, it's a stretch, yeah.
You know, a new lease and start-up costs and all that, but we're entrepreneurial bitches.
We can pull this off.
Launching a new business, it just, I don't know, sounds risky.
Yeah, it's a risk, it's a challenge, but that might not be such a bad thing.
What's that thing they say about the sharks? They have to keep swimming forward.
If they stop, they're gonna explode.
That sounds inaccurate.
And you're not a shark.
You're a human lady.
You can swim in place for a little.
Maybe I'm one of those people that can't swim in place, because the moment you start coasting, bam.
It's a heart attack.
Like Abby's mom? You're not her.
It's up to you, but you're in a good place.
I don't want to see you knock yourself off course.
Zooey, baby.
I won't.
Excuse me.
How much is this piece? Oh, the Jared Frank.
$230.
$230.
$150? Can't go below $200.
Sorry.
I'll take it for $210.
Damien.
- Phoebe Conte.
Look at you.
- Hello.
It's so funny to run into you in such a random place.
Well, I like to browse all over.
It keeps me fresh.
And I am a big fan of Jared Frank.
- It looks beautiful.
- I'll sell it for $210.
- Perfect.
- $220.
- $250.
- $260.
- $270.
- $280.
$290.
- Too rich for my blood.
- Okay.
I'll wrap it up for $290, then.
You had no intention of buying, did you? You just ran the price up, you minx.
Well, I guess you'll never know.
Well, it's nice to see you, Phoebe.
You seem good.
I I am.
I feel good.
Good.
Damien, can I buy you a coffee? I would love to learn more about your Jared Frank collection.
He wants to hire me back.
- Way to go.
- He knows I'm serious.
It's part-time, trial basis, but it's very exciting.
Wow.
Okay, well, I will take you to see the lounge area.
It's where our residents like to hang out, mingle, you know, shoot the shit.
We call it the socialization corner.
Busts out with "shoot the shit.
" Who says that anymore these days? Well, I'm more concerned with "socialization corner," because it sounds like that part of the maze where the rats bump into each other.
Stop it.
This place is really nice.
It was a great recommendation from Mike.
I know, it was very nice, and he's been through this with his parents, so he knows it's tough.
First contact since the funeral? Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
We've had some good text, e-mail exchange, back and forth.
It's very healthy.
In a nice place.
What's happening with Delia and her situation? Yeah, no, I spoke to her.
She hasn't taken the test yet.
I think she's a little scared.
- Ah.
Hey.
- Hi.
Did you want to meet some of our residents? Um, yeah.
Let's just mingle it up.
Go shoot the shit with them.
Okay.
Oh, boy.
Okay.
Don't tell Abby, but I think this place needs a decorator.
I live at the Paradiso.
This is like the Taj Mahal to me.
I mean, just maybe a few more paintings.
[GASPS.]
That is a great idea.
- What? - Project.
Charitable.
It would be great PR for the gallery.
I'm gonna pitch it to Damien.
Can I say how perfect it is that the man from your past turned out to be a gay art dealer? I cannot tell you how relieved I am that it isn't one of my exes.
- Mm, they were a freaky bunch.
- Thank you.
- You're welcome.
- No.
You know what? For the first time in my life, I feel like I am in the driver's seat.
- Oh.
- And it feels really good.
Well, I'm glad that homeless woman with the dirty tarot cards agreed.
What about you? You made any moves on the building? I don't know.
No, I don't know if I'm gonna go along with it now.
I thought you were so excited about it.
Well, my genius kid, she talked some sense into me, and just opening up a business right now, I don't know if it's the right time.
- Okay.
- BOTH: Hey.
How are you doing? How are you feeling? I'm good.
You know, I met a man who used to sell encyclopedias.
Very retro.
My dad would love it.
Well, shall we check out the rec room? - Ooh.
- Let's do it.
[UPBEAT MUSIC.]
Heart still bleeds It needs to be mended His heart still bleeds She's our most dedicated performer.
- Oh.
- Mm-hmm.
Tap time before nap time.
Mm-hmm.
Abby.
Abby.
What is wrong? I'm not leaving my dad in this place.
Okay.
You need to calm down.
Was it the tap dancing? Did you see what was going on in there? That was so bleak.
That was crazy.
That was like something out of a David Lynch movie.
It could have been worse.
Could have been a mime.
Half those people in that room looked - like they were dead already.
- No The other half looked like they wished they were dead.
That isn't true.
I would literally be the worst daughter if I left my dad here.
Oh, stop that.
You're an amazing daughter who's doing your best, but you have to do what's right for all of you for the kids.
I just want to go.
Can we please just go? - Yes.
- Sure, sure, sure.
I don't want to be here.
[SIGHS.]
And despite what my opponent says, I believe that carbon emission is a municipal issue.
We have to shape the future of our kids.
Uh we have to shape the future for the next generation is it too strident? No, no.
It's great.
It's very strong.
Um - [MUMBLING.]
- Let's switch it up.
- Curveball it.
- Mm.
Mr.
Cordero, what's your position on a woman's right to choose? Too chose what, Miss Banai? What jacket goes with that top? - Paul, be serious.
- What? It's a city council race.
Those issues almost never come up.
Almost? You want to get caught with your pants down in front of voters? Okay.
You want to know my answer? I was raised Catholic, so that explains my approach.
Oh.
Okay, then.
So you don't believe in choice? I believe that life starts at conception.
You didn't answer the question.
Okay, do I think that the government should be de-funding Planned Parenthood? - No.
- Wow, how generous of you.
It's a complicated issue, Delia.
It's tricky.
Yeah.
It is.
You okay? I'm fine.
You just need to finesse your answer, in case it comes up.
So what does tomorrow look like? Uh, pretty open.
Just a few PR interviews after lunch.
Do you want me to confirm any of them? No.
Push them all.
Okay.
So I just pushed the meetings.
Why, Barbara? Because it's easier just to do what Abby wants avoid judgment.
It's exhausting.
I'm exhausted.
It makes me feel so What? How does it make you feel? Worthless.
Like every thought I have, every decision, is wrong probably wrong.
And the truth is, I thought we'd have more advertisers by now, but instead of giving me support, all I get is criticism.
My whole life, I've never been enough.
I wasn't enough for my ex, and now here we are leaving someone wanting again.
Mm-hmm.
Abby, how does all that make you feel? I'm sorry, can you just repeat what you said? - Seriously? - Well - Wow.
- It's just been long It is the perfect metaphor for our situation.
Abby only hears her side of the conflict, it's like I don't I had to take a tour of a nursing home today, you know, 'cause I might have to put him in there my dad And that is extremely - Here we go with her feelings.
- My feelings.
Wow, Barbara.
I am so sorry that you had to move a few meetings today.
My situation with my father is Okay, so you were listening.
Hmm? I mean, that's something, isn't it? Oh, my God, shut up.
Abby, I am sympathetic to what you're going through with your father - Right.
- I am, but it is difficult to walk on eggshells around you all of the time.
It makes it challenging for me to feel anything, to push back You push back plenty.
Believe me.
And so do you, about everything.
You can't let go of a single detail or decision Oh, my God.
I can think of ten things that I've let go of, and all I want is for this site to be perfect.
Is that so wrong? - Abby, let's explore that WORD RIGHT NOW: "perfect.
" I put my blood, sweat, and tears - I know.
- Into this site.
- And I haven't? - I didn't say that.
I am bleeding out for this damn thing.
- I never said that.
- What would happen if Barbara made all the decisions? What are you so afraid of? The site might fail? Yes! Or, I mean, no.
Not that Here's the real issue.
She doesn't respect me.
- No.
- You never treated me You've never treated me as an equal.
- I sought you out.
Wow.
- Never have, Never will.
She doesn't even listen to anything that I'm saying.
And by the way, truth be told Not one word is she listening to.
She just interrupts it's like I'm not even talking.
This is exactly what I'm talking about.
- You disrespect me.
- Disrespect her? Jesus, Jake, would you just let me talk? Sorry, who's Jake? - My ex-husband.
- Her ex-husband.
Oh.
Oh.
Okay.
Abby, the hour's not over yet.
Yes.
It's over.
[UPBEAT MUSIC.]
By the way, you hear about the place next door? Uh, no.
What do you know? Glenn just leased it to a PB&J shop.
- PB&J J as in jelly? - Yeah, jelly.
But also the guy's name is Jay.
It's awesome, huh? Who wants to go to a store for that? What, bread, spread, eat? Apparently they got stores in Silver Lake and Pasadena already.
Huge hits.
Very, very popular with the children.
Yeah, you know what? I had the exact same reaction, but they ain't open yet, Jo.
Welcome, everyone, to the first of many city council debates.
Let's bring our candidates to the stage.
- First up, Thomas Divoll.
- [APPLAUSE.]
- You okay? - Huh? Yeah.
'Cause you don't seem okay.
I'm fine.
It's about what I said yesterday, isn't it? - Oh, Paul - About my stance on abortion? - Shh.
- What? You are surrounded by the enemy.
Somebody might hear you.
And if that's what you believe It is.
But I don't want it to become a thing between us.
And you believing differently Look, I get it.
I get the other side, Delia, but it doesn't change the way I feel about you, and I hope it doesn't change the way you feel - I might be pregnant.
- Paul Cordero.
[DRAMATIC MUSIC.]
[SIGHS.]
Good luck, sir.
Well Jesus, I'm so sorry there's so much going on here.
It's very hectic.
A lot going on in general, huh? Yeah.
Thank you for checking in with me, you know? It means a lot, and I really needed this to talk and word vomit.
I could tell.
Your text the other day had that S.
O.
S.
quality.
Oh, really? Why? Because I asked for advice about nursing homes? I know the code for Abby's spinning.
But you calling your business partner by your ex's name, that's some DEFCON 1-level shit right there.
Yeah, I know.
Seriously.
It's just like, "Ugh, poor Barbara.
" - How'd she react? - I have no idea.
I ran out of there before she could react, and I'm pretty clear I can never go back to that office again, so - Yes, you can.
Come on.
- Oh really? Have you ever called a coworker "Collette"? Not yet.
Any day now, though.
[LAUGHS.]
I thought you were out of it The divorce fog.
Yeah.
Well, whatever.
You know, battle wounds never really go away.
Maybe Barbara was right about me.
- She was just frustrated.
- Well, Jake Hey, now.
Don't call me that too.
- This is Mike.
- [LAUGHS.]
I'm talking about the actual Jake.
- Oh.
Oh, okay.
- Jake the person.
You know, his whole career took off after we split, and I put that on him you know, and his issues with woman and power and his manliness, and Or that his whole financial safety net was gone so that, you know, maybe that lit a fire under his butt, but but maybe I am the problem.
I push people down.
I criticize them until they don't want to try anymore, and Stop.
It takes two to end a marriage.
Unless you're married to me, apparently.
I do that.
You know, I just need to steer the ship, and that's probably just therapy talk B.
S.
- Abby.
- But maybe it's real, you know? My patterns.
I ruin things.
I ruined my marriage, and I can't take care of my dad.
- Failed at that.
- [CLATTERING.]
- Sorry.
- Look at me.
You're doing your best.
And now I'm ruining my business.
'Cause that's who I am.
I let people down.
I fail.
I ruin.
I'm I'm a ruiner.
Okay.
That's not a real word.
You failed at English too? Hey.
Hey.
[LAUGHS.]
I don't see it that way.
They sell PB&J sandwiches.
You sell It's all about food, Glenn.
It's treats.
You're breakfast, they're lunch.
What kind of entrepreneur are you? You're stealing from Peter to pay Paul.
- His name is Jay.
- It's a metaphor! Hey, relax.
I own the building.
I can lease them to who Whatever I want.
What if I own them? You? Yeah.
Why not me? - You're kidding.
- Do I look like I'm kidding? Well, they're not for sale.
This is America.
Everything's for sale.
Come on, G-man.
Name your price.
- Well, this was fun.
- I bet.
Okay.
Maybe a little weird.
You're my divorce role model.
- Oh, yeah.
- Light in the dark and all that.
Well, maybe that doesn't really exist.
We're all just in it, just trying to hold on to our sanity.
Yeah.
You mean perpetual crazy time? - Yeah.
- You might be onto something there.
- Ah! - [CRASHING.]
Thank you, Mike, for being here.
It was very nice of you.
Yeah.
[DRAMATIC MUSIC.]
[SIGHS.]
[INDISTINCT CHATTER.]
Bun-Bun, did you meet Bernie? Guy is hilarious.
Is that the guy who sells encyclopedias? Yeah, door to door.
I thought that was just something that happened in Raymond Carver stories.
- Right? - Oh, and Glenda? Whoo! She reminds me of a lady your mom took to on the cruise.
Oh, Glenda, she has this way of - Hmm? - [SOBS.]
- Are you all right? - I'm fine.
It's just [EXHALES.]
It's a whole new place.
Mm-hmm.
Without your mom.
It's a lot.
Well, I'm just a phone call away.
- Mm.
- And, you know, me and the kids, we will come visit you all the time.
- Mm.
- Until you are sick of it.
Never.
Yeah.
But I think that this is, you know, this is really the right thing for all of us.
I'm just a little scared.
That's all.
Me too.
Me too.
[DRAMATIC MUSIC.]
Who's that from? Abby.
Peace offering, I think.
Beer? What she gave her ex when they'd feud.
I think she told me that once.
Did we have lunch plans? I didn't realize.
No.
No, we didn't have plans.
You know, it's hard to have plans when you don't return my texts for three days.
- Darrell - Barbara, what's going on here? You've been shrugging me off ever since that night at Phoebe's, and I want to know why.
I deserve that.
Can we not do this right now, please? This is my work.
Look, I know I was having a bad night that night.
I wasn't myself.
I was Grieving.
I know that.
Grieving your wife who you loved very much.
I know that, and I am so sorry for that.
I really am.
But it's hard for me to see, because I love you.
I'm in love with you.
So there.
There you go.
And it freaks me out, because I know I'll always be chasing her.
I won't be able to fill that void.
I just won't.
I'll never be enough.
Oh, no, no.
You'll always be enough.
You are more than enough.
I can't believe I did this.
Well, you definitely went for it.
It's bold.
Bold.
Yeah.
I must have been out of my gourd.
Well, you haven't signed anything.
You can still get out of it.
No.
I shook the bastard's hand.
I'm not getting out of anything.
My kid's gonna kill me.
I can't afford this.
My offer still stands.
No strings.
Ooh, baby, do you know what that's worth Ooh, heaven is a place on Earth They say in heaven, love comes first Delia, wait.
Look.
If it's positive I already know what you want.
There's no hypothetical anymore.
What do you want? I would make a terrible mother.
I don't think that's true.
Trust me.
It's not in my DNA.
It is not something that I am capable of.
I wait for you and you come around And the world's alive With the sound of kids on the street outside I miss Keiko.
Aw, I miss her too, but, you know, we have a whole new friend coming to stay in the guesthouse.
- [KNOCKING.]
- And there he is, right on time.
I love that.
And you lift me up in a wave of love I'm here about the listing? The guesthouse? When did you get out? A few weeks ago.
Early.
Prison overcrowding.
You believe that? Wow.
I mean, this place.
[WHISTLES.]
Nice.
It's really nice.
The listing doesn't do it justice.
So is that my nephew? Tony, I need you to get out.
I'm not afraid anymore Ooh, baby, do you know what that's worth Ooh, heaven is a place on Earth They say in heaven, love comes first We'll make heaven a place on Earth We'll make heaven a place A place on Earth - How'd it go? - It was good.
It was hard but good.
So, looks like this is happening.
Yeah.
How do you feel about it? Terrified.
Ooh, baby, do you know what that's worth We'll make heaven a place on Earth
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