Glee s03e13 Episode Script
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Good.
Okay, everybody, let's hear it for love! Your assignment for Valentine's week is to find and perform the world's greatest love songs.
Now, Regionals is next week, and we still need to raise $250 for costumes and hair spray.
Oh, God, not another bake sale.
If any student gives ten dollars, we will sing these "world's greatest love songs" to their Valentine.
We will serenade each classroom - No! - Yes! Two years ago, we went room-to-room Christmas caroling, they threw food.
And shoes.
Yes, Sugar? Here's a spoonful of Sugar for you all: Don't sweat the small stuff, and it's all small stuff when you're rich.
So, here you go.
Uh, Sugar, I can't take that.
Take it! Okay.
Everyone, give it up for Sugar for paying for our FinalNet and cumberbunds! I love the sound of applause, even if I have to buy it.
Okay, everyone, look under your chairs.
Except you, Artie.
Your chair kept moving, so I hid your surprise in the wastebasket.
I found mine ten minutes ago.
V-Day is my fave day ever.
And to help me celebrate, my daddy's throwing me a huge, ridic party at Breadstix.
And I'm naming it the Sugar Shack.
And drumroll, Rachel you're all invited! But you have to bring a date.
No single people allowed.
They're sad and boring and they don't exist in my world.
Um, but you're single.
Not for long.
Wait, what are you doing here? I got a note that says "Come to the auditorium now.
It's urgent.
" Love, Mandy Patinkin.
" Yeah, so did I.
Going to the chapel And we're gonna get married Oh, God.
Is that your dads? Going to the chapel And we're gonna get married LeRoy, LeRoy.
Thanks, guys.
Thank you, thank you.
LeRoy, we agreed to sing it straight no vocal runs.
That's how Jennifer Hudson got kicked off of American Idol.
I would love to hear you sing something straight.
Dads, what are you doing here? Well, a little birdie named Burt, who owns a tire store, and his little birdie wife, who used to wear a lot of denim, told us that you guys were, uh, fixin' to get hitched.
So we thought we'd return the favor and surprise you.
Mr.
and Mr.
Berry, I am so sorry.
It's only customary to ask the bride's father first, but We wanted to say congratulations! And what better place than on the very stage on which you shared your first kiss? So you're not angry? Not at you.
I'm angry 'cause evidently your father has been having recurring dreams about Hollywood heartthrob Tony Danza.
One dream.
I had one dream that Tony Danza and I went ice fishing, okay? We know you two really love each other.
And if you're really sure you want to spend the rest of your lives together, the last thing we want to do is stand in your way.
No, we wouldn't do that.
I mean, marrying in your teens usually, you know, doubles the likelihood of divorce a fate that befell Liza and Barbra Are you really going to do this right now? Oh, why, you know who else got, uh, just got divorced? Tony Danza! Yeah, did you hear that, LeRoy? Oh! Yeah, he's single now.
Why don't you fire up those snowmobiles and give him a call? It's ice fishing season.
What your dad is trying to say is that he's very excited to start planning his only daughter's wedding.
I'm so excited, yeah.
But, uh, we are using the square tables.
Well, we want to start with a Valentine's Day dinner at our house with the Hudson-Hummels.
We're going to be one big family, so let's make a milestone out of it.
You were raised to be proud of the decisions that you make.
And if this is what you really want, sweetie, well, then you need to start shouting it from the rooftops! Yeah! I love you both so much.
Ah, yeah.
I now call this meeting of the God Squad to order.
Thank you guys for coming.
Our first order of business is to welcome Quinn Fabray back into the fold.
It's nice to see you, Quinn.
Thank you.
I know it's been a while.
When I was at my lowest, I turned to prayer.
Not even sure who I was praying to, really, but it seemed to lead me on the right track.
Amen.
Praise.
Can I ask a question? What's with tarantula head over here? This is our new member.
This is Joseph Hart, but you guys can call him Joe.
He just transferred here to McKinley.
Yeah, I guess I'm a sophomore.
I've been homeschooled my whole life, but this past year I realized my best friend was my mom, so I decided I wanted to get out and experience the world.
Joseph.
What's with the tats? Bible quotes.
And each one of my dreads is named after a book of the Bible.
You have got to be kidding me.
I play guitar, too, but I only know Christian stuff.
My dad only listens to talk radio, and we don't have a TV.
You guys mind if I take off my shoes? I'm sort of used to going to school barefoot.
I'm just glad there's another dude around here.
I notice that Shane isn't a member of the God Squad.
- That's interesting.
- Okay, that's enough, Sam.
All right, so our last meeting we talked about opportunities for community service.
Uh, Valentine's Day's right around the corner, and since the Glee Club turned it down, there's an open slot for singing telegrams.
All four of us sing, and Teen Jesus and I play guitar, so I thought we could use the money to adopt a highway and start a shoe drive.
Praise.
It is a religious holiday St.
Valentine's and all that.
And I'd love to show this school that it's cool to be Christian.
We aren't all just door-to-door Bible salesmen, like my dad.
All right, all in favor? Righteous.
Wait, which one are you gonna take to Sugar's V-Day party? All of them.
The entire sorority? They don't call them the "E-Z-Dee-Zees" for nothing.
I got the gig cleaning the sorority house swimming pool, then I sawed through those chicks like a freakin' sex tornado room to room.
You're amazing.
I'm a professional.
Tried the true love thing With a teacher.
- Wasn't for me.
- Well, it is for me.
And apparently it's for Blaine, too.
even from his sick bed, he's managed to send me a new Valentine's Day card every single day this week.
It says "From your secret admirer.
" So romantic.
Oh.
Ooh.
A gorilla gram? Pour moi? "To Kurt.
From your secret admirer.
" Again.
Well, I wonder who it could be.
Will you tell me who it is, Valentine gorilla? You see, Puckerman, that's what you're missing out on: True love.
What about you, Rory? Who are you taking to Sugar's party? Sugar.
Hold up.
You better have an option "B" because I'm all over that.
You're going with Sugar? As soon as I ask her out, and she says yes, which I'm sure she will because I don't mean this to sound mean, Irish but nobody understands anything you say.
Baloney.
Chicks dig accents.
I'm sorry, what was that? Couldn't quite make it out.
Fellas, there's no need to fight.
You can just pick up the girls that fall off old Puckerosaurus here.
This is a four-leaf clover, kid.
'Cause you're going to need all the luck you can get.
Do you people just carry those around? Let's Road House, Flanagan.
L is for the way you look at me O is for the only one I see V is very, very extraordinary E is even more than anyone that you adore And love is all that I can give to you Love is more than just a game for two Two in love can make it Take my heart and please don't break it Love was made for me and you L is for the way you look at me O is for the only one I see V is very, very extraordinary E is even more than anyone that you adore And love is all that I can give to you Love is more than just a game for two Two in love can make it Take my heart and please don't break it Love was made for me and you Love was made for me and you Love.
Happy Valentine's Day.
You're giving me your computer for Valentine's Day? It's a playlist.
With all the songs that I hear in my head when I'm with you or when I'm thinking about you.
I wanted to make you a CD for Valentine's Day, but this is as far as I got without any help, so Oh, and I made you a cover.
Brittany.
Thank you.
You're welcome.
Teen lesbians! I must see you in my office, right now.
This is such bull crap! Why can't Brittany and I kiss in public? 'Cause we're two girls? Please don't make this about your sapphic orientation.
This is about public displays of affection.
PDA simply has no place in the sacred halls of McKinley High.
We've had complaints.
About us? When? Most recently yesterday, 12:16 p.
m.
That? Our lips barely even grazed.
And by the way, did you get any complaints about that hideous display that started at 12:17 p.
m.
and lasted for several uncomfortable minutes? Believe me, I'd much rather see you and Santana kiss than that so-called Finchel, but if a student files a complaint - because, for religious reasons - Oh.
Great.
So it was some Bible-thumper that complained.
Ms.
Lopez, I'm sorry, but I'm trying to keep this school from turning into a volatile powder keg.
I'm sorry, too.
'Cause all I want to be able to do is kiss my girlfriend, but I guess no one can see that because there's such an insane double standard at this school.
Artie, four wheels on the floor, please.
Rachel, you had an announcement? Yeah, actually, Finn and I have an announcement we'd like to make.
Finn and I are proud to announce that we're finally getting married.
What? Wow! When's the baby's due date? Wait, guys, have you both carefully thought this through? Yes.
And our parents are totally behind us.
And your plan to stop us by telling them totally backfired, Mr.
Shue.
Actually, I'm the one who told them.
Because I think you guys are making a mistake.
A huge mistake.
- When's the wedding? - The date is TBD, but I can assure all of you that we're gonna have a very simple and elegant ceremony at the Justice of the Peace, which all of you are invited to.
And we're registered at Samuel French.
You guys aren't mature enough or old enough to properly face this type of commitment.
If you don't support us, then I feel sorry for you, and you're not invited to the wedding.
Which makes me really sad, because I would have loved to have seen you in a bridesmaid's dress, Quinn.
And you as well, Kurt.
I'd be happy to be a bridesmaid, Rachel.
I'm not sure I'm ready to get married, but I do know what being in love feels like.
- We'll be there.
- Thanks, guys.
And we hope the rest of you all change your minds, because it would mean a lot to us if you were all there.
Well, add me to the list of people who are wishing you guys the best in your marriage.
However, let's stop the fighting and remind ourselves that Valentine's Day is rapidly approaching.
So if you'll excuse me.
- If you'll excuse me.
- Yeah.
Sorry.
Congrats, though.
I got some sugary sweet game to spit.
Give me a beat, Finn.
Mm Yeah, yeah Mm, mm Yeah, yeah Baby, I just don't get it Do you enjoy being hurt? I know you smelled the perfume The make-up on his shirt You don't believe his stories You know that they're all lies Mad as you are, you stick around And I just don't know why If I was your man Baby, you - Never worry 'bout - What I do - I'd be coming home - Back to you - Every night - Doin' you right - You're the type of woman - Deserve good things - Fist full of diamonds - A hand full of rings Baby, you're a star I just want to show you you are You should let me love you Let me be the one to Give you everything you want and need Baby, good love and protection Make me your selection Show you the way love's supposed to be Baby, you should let me You deserve better Whoa, oh, you know you deserve better We should be together Baby With me and you, it's whatever, girl Hey, so can we make this thing ours? You should let me love you Let me be the one Let me be the one to give To give you everything you want and need Everything you need Baby, good love and protection Said everything Make me your selection Show you the way love's supposed to be Yeah, let me love you.
That's all you need, baby.
Wheel me to class, baby.
I didn't speak up in class, but I wanted to say that I'm 100% behind you.
I fully support your right to be unhappy with Finn for the rest of your lives.
You should be able to love whoever you want.
Excuse me.
Are you Miss Rachel Berry? Um, yeah.
Well, we're the God Squad, and we're here to deliver a Vocal Valentine from one Finn Hudson.
My heart's a stereo It beats for you, so listen close Hear my thoughts in every note Oh, ote Make me your radio Yeah And turn me up when you feel low Sorry about the little bit.
This melody was meant for you So sing along to my stereo If I was just another dusty record on a shelf Would you blow me off and play me like everybody else? If I asked you to scratch my back, could you manage that? Yeyeah, chicka Travie, I can handle that Furthermore, I apologize for any skippin' track It's just the last girl that played me left a couple cracks I used to used to, used to, used to, now I'm over that 'Cause holding grudges over love is ancient artifact If I could only find a note to make you understand I'd think of something real and grab you by the hand Just keep it stuck inside your head like your favorite tune And know my heart's a stereo that only plays for you Oh, oh oh, oh My heart's a stereo, it beats for you, so listen close Hear my thoughts in every note Yeah, yeah, yeah, come on Make me your radio, and turn me up when you feel low This melody was meant for you So sing along to my stereo Oh yeah Oh To my stereo Oh, oh So sing along to my stereo I only pray you'll never leave me behind Never leave me Because good music can be so hard to find So hard to find I take your hand and hold it closer to mine Thought love was dead, but now you're changing my mind My heart's a stereo, it beats for you, so listen close Hear my thoughts in every note You're gonna make me a radio Make me your radio, and turn me up when you feel low This melody was meant for you So sing along to my stereo.
Yay! Happy Valentine's Day.
Love, Finn.
That was so sweet.
- So you guys are a Christian group? - Yes.
And if I pay, I can send a Vocal Valentine to anybody I want, right? Ten bucks.
That's the deal.
Well, awesome.
In that case, I would like to send one to my girlfriend Brittany.
And by that, I don't mean my friend who's a girl.
I mean my girlfriend girlfriend.
How does that sound? Look what I just found in my locker! "Bee Mine Forever, from your Secret Honey.
" I swear, that Blaine is such a romantic.
Horrifying.
Finn, Rachel, come on, that's enough.
Everyone, sit down, uh, listen up.
Rory has the floor.
I've been trying to get my student visa extended, so I can spend junior year at McKinley, but I just found out the request was turned down.
So when the school year ends, I'll have to go back to Ireland.
What? I miss my family so much, but you guys have become my second family.
This song reminds me of you guys and how much I've grown to love each and every single one of you, and how thankful I am that you've made a place, away from Ireland, feel like home.
Another summer day has come and gone away In Paris and Rome But I wanna go home Mm, home Maybe surrounded by a million people I Still feel all alone Just wanna go home Oh, I miss you, you know And I've been keeping all the letters That I wrote to you Each one a line or two "I'm fine, baby, how are you?" Well, I would send them But I know that it's just not enough My words were cold and flat And you deserve more than that Another airplane, another sunny place I'm lucky, I know But I wanna go home Mm, I've got to go home Let me go home I've had my run, and, baby, I'm done I gotta go home Let me go home It'll all be all right I'll be home tonight I'm coming back home.
Rory I feel worse for you than I do for Artie.
Will you be my date for Valentine's Day? It would be an honor.
All right, guys.
We have to have a discussion and figure out what the God Squad feels about singing to gay people.
Well, three of us are in Glee Club, so we're pretty much sing to gay people all the time.
I know we're okay with it, but Joe may not be.
I try my best not to judge anybody.
But, honestly, I've never met anyone who's gay.
Oh, I guarantee you have.
Yeah, they say that one out of every ten people are gay.
And if that's true, that means one of the 12 apostles might have been gay.
And my guess is Simon because that name's the gayest.
The Bible says it's an abomination for a man to lay down with another man, but we shared tents in Cub Scouts and slept next to each other all the time so that would make Cub Scouts an abomination? Do you know what else the Bible says is an abomination? Eating lobster, planting different crops in the same field, giving somebody a proud look.
Not an abomination? Slavery.
Jesus never said anything about gay people.
That's a fact.
Well, maybe he wanted to, but he didn't want to hurt Simon's feelings.
You guys, we have to figure out where we stand.
Especially, if we're gonna be asking volunteers from my church to sing backup for us.
I don't want to hurt Santana's feelings, but I also don't want to make someone do something they're not comfortable with.
So where do you stand, Joe? I guess I've gotta think about it.
You know what? That's totally fair.
You have to look at the hard topics and dilemmas and be honest and truthful.
If you ask me that's what being Christian is really about.
I know it's early, but It's a statue of St.
Valentine.
Well, actually, it's a statue of one of the three wise men I repainted to look like Saint I told Shane about us.
Wow.
Was he mad? He was sad.
He cried and said it felt like I punched him in his heart.
I saw this MMA guy get punched in the heart once.
He died for, like, a minute.
That sucks.
At least it means we can be together for real now.
Whoa.
What we did what I did to Shane was wrong.
I lied, I cheated, and it makes me feel awful, and I love you, but being with you just reminds me of that that I'm not the person that I thought I was.
We would never do that to each other.
I thought that I'd never do that to Shane.
But I have to face the truth.
When it comes to love, I don't know who I am, and until I find out, I can't be with anyone.
I-I can't be with you.
If I Should stay I would only be in Your way So I'll go But I know I'll think of you Every step of The way And I Will always love you I Will always love you You, you You My darling, you Bittersweet Memories That is all I'm taking With me So good-bye Please don't cry We both know I'm not what you You need And I Will always love you I Will always Love you You I hope Life treats you kind And I hope You have all you've dreamed of And I wish to you joy And happiness But above all this, I wish you Love And I Will always love you I will always Love you I will always Love you I will always Love you I, I will always Love you I, I will always Love You You Darling, I love you Oh, I'll always I'll always Love you.
You're the top You're an Arrow collar You're the top You're a Coolidge dollar You're the nimble tread of the feet of Fred Astaire You're an O'Neill drama You're Whistler's mama You're Camembert! How come we never do this? Oh.
You're Inferno's Dante You're the nose On the great Durante I'm just in the way As the French would say, de trop But if, baby, I'm the bottom But if, baby, I'm the bottom But if, baby, I'm the bottom, you're the top.
Rachel Berry.
Thank you, thank you.
Thank you so much for joining us in our nightly tradition of turning just plain old dinner into dinner theater.
And now dinner is served.
This way.
Smells great.
Delicious.
- That was good.
- Yeah, thank you.
See, I have a couple of notes.
I said, "LeRoy, this guy sold us" the wrong lube.
" Yeah.
"That's why the rubber is squeaking.
"That's why it feels so weird when we start going really fast.
" Excuse me, Hiram, what are we talking about? We're talking cars.
Yeah, those clowns down at Local Lube they don't know how to lube a car.
Hiram, the duck was divine and the house is exquisite.
Thank you, sweetie.
Nate Berkus a dear, dear friend.
That's not true.
Yeah, no, it's not, no, no, no, not true, but it feels like he is, I love his designs so much.
Everything is, you know, Nate, Nate Berkus.
So, Mr.
Berrys, how did you two meet? Ooh.
Ah.
Hey, that's a, th-th-that's a funny story.
We were both in the international supergroup Up with People.
Up with People was a sensation.
Glenn Close, you know, she got her start on Up with People.
Yeah, and we've been together ever since, which was, uh, in our late 20s, early 30s when we got together.
Uh, and on that note, may I make a toast to Rachel and Finn on this very special Valentine's Day? Finn, you're a fantastic husky young man whom LeRoy and I simply adore, and it gives us such joy to see you make our little Rachelah so happy.
Let me tell you the secret of a long and happy marriage never go to bed without moisturizing.
Bet you thought I was going to say "Never go to bed angry.
" Okay, let's get back on track here.
A toast to the Hudson-Hummel-Berry clan.
And to Finn and Rachel.
We love you both so very, very much.
We sure do.
To Finn and Rachel.
Finn and Rachel.
Indeed.
Mmm.
Mm-mm-mm! Now dessert.
Oh, you know what we've got? Velvety Viennetta, and then we're going to commence with the teenage lovemaking.
No, just kidding.
No.
We, we don't have Viennetta.
They discontinued Viennetta years ago.
We're gonna go straight to the teenage lovemaking.
I'm sorry, what? Yeah.
Wait, w-what are you talking about? Your mom packed a bag.
I brought your toothbrush and your jammies - your sleepy T-shirt and, and boxers.
- Mom.
No, I did, yeah.
You're getting married, you're not kids anymore.
As far as we're concerned, you're adults, so knock yourself out.
Carole and I are gonna go catch a movie.
Hiram and I are going to stay here, but we'll put on some music just so you don't think we're trying to listen in.
I can't believe this is happening.
I love you.
Let's go to bed.
Okay.
I know it's tempting, but, uh, no monkey business tonight, not with my dads around the corner.
Of course.
Are you, you gonna use the bathroom first? Yes, if that's okay because my ritual is pretty elaborate.
Okay.
First I shower.
I'm more thorough than during my morning bath.
The world is a very dirty place.
Brush teeth, eyebrows, makeup remover, moisturizer, followed by an ice water face bath ÃÂ la Joan Crawford in Mommie Dearest the height of glamour.
Find something cute to wear.
Text my dads to let them know I'm almost ready for my evening tea well, we'll skip that one tonight.
Then condition and brush my hair.
Hi.
Hi.
Hey, I-I kind of need to use the bathroom; it was a really big meal.
No, you can't do that here.
Where am I supposed to do it? Um, at your house? Hilarious I'm just gonna jump in beside you.
I don't mind if you stay.
Oh, for God's sakes, Finn.
Can't you at least try to keep some sort of mystery until we're married? What do you think it's gonna be like in New York? We'll be on opposite schedules, so, you know, you can use the bathroom while I'm at school and I'll use it when you're at when you're working or what-whatever.
What's that supposed to mean? You don't think I'm gonna be doing anything in New York? You think I'm just gonna be around to bring you Diet Cokes and cheer you on? I knew it.
I knew one day you'd be intimidated by my success, but I didn't think it would be before we graduated.
Where are you going? The bathroom downstairs.
I can guarantee one thing you're not gonna have to add to your little crazy-town nighttime ritual getting into bed with me.
FYI, we got a private party here tonight, hon.
Oh, I know, I know, I'm, I'm early.
Well, according to this, I'm, I'm early.
I'm supposed to be meeting my cutie here for a long overdue reunion, but I, uh, I guess he didn't make it.
Wouldn't be too sure about that.
I knew it! Oh, See's candies! "Dear Kurt, Happy Valentine's Day.
I think I love you.
" Wait.
You think you love me? Karofsky.
So, you tormented me, shoved me into lockers, called me horrible names and hate-kissed me.
Now, after one conversation in a bar, you want us to be together? When I was at McKinley, I hated who I was.
I took that out on you because there you were, so proud.
I've wanted to call you since that night at Scandals, and, look, it's taken me a while, but for the first time in my life, I'm trying to be honest about what I feel.
And I'm flattered, I I-I really am, but David, you just think that you love me.
You don't really love me.
Oh, you've helped me so much, Kurt, you don't know.
I haven't come out at school yet, but maybe I will next year.
David, look, I am so proud of you for for coming so far.
And I want you to be happy and and you will be happy, but I'm with Blaine.
A-And I like you.
But just as friends.
I should go.
Wait.
Now, you don't have to go.
I hope you like the candies.
The butterscotch ones are my favorite.
Mine, too.
Hey, Karofsky.
Nick.
You guys hanging out for Valentine's Day? No.
No.
No, no.
We-We used to go to the same school.
We just bumped into each other.
- That's exactly what it looked like.
- I gotta go.
David I'll talk to you later.
I'm really glad we kissed and made up.
I mean, it is Valentine's Day, after all.
Mm-hmm.
This whole living together thing and being right on top of one another it's definitely a lot more challenging than I thought.
It's like real life and stuff.
I know.
I have to be honest.
I was a little afraid of what it would be like for us to really be married.
I don't know.
I think we can do it, right? I think we can.
Good.
Mm.
Mm.
Mm.
Except for one thing.
It's 7:15.
No way.
Yeah.
You want to go to Breadstix? I was hoping you'd say that.
Let's go.
I like Carole after three Chardonnays.
Shh.
Listen, listen.
Shh.
Listen.
Silence.
They're not fighting anymore.
It's not working.
What, is he defiling our baby? - Do you need a Xanax? - I already took three.
This is a stupid plan.
We've never lied to her like this before.
Honesty, respect, dance those are the foundations of the Berry family.
These are desperate times.
Every teenager does the exact opposite of what their parents tell them.
I don't know where she got this idea of marriage anyway, but she's not going to go through with it.
She is a little girl with big dreams It's too bad.
I like Finn.
Nobody is saying that they have to break up.
They're just too young to get married.
As long as we continue to do what we're doing lying about supporting it utterly and completely she'll come around, and she'll see it our way.
It's reverse psychology.
- It's the only way.
- Hey.
We're gonna go go Breadstix.
We decided that we want to just be with our friends tonight.
And then I'm probably just gonna go home after.
R-Really? Yeah, we thought we heard you guys squabbling up there.
Cohabitating is not-not-not so easy, huh? I hope this little experiment doesn't cause you to postpone the marriage for a few months? - Right, or years.
- Don't do that.
Actually, it's the opposite.
We just decided that, you know, since it's gonna take us a little while to get used to one another, that we might as well just, you know, get started.
We're getting married in May! Right-Right after Nationals! It's gonna be a spring wedding.
I'll talk to you guys more about it when I get home tonight.
I'm so excited.
- And I love you both very much.
- Love you so much.
Okay, well, I'll be back in a little while.
Bye.
Testing.
Testing.
Testing.
Testing.
What up, McKinley?! Welcome to the Sugar Shack! Okay.
Everyone look under your chairs, except you, Artie.
Yours is in the potted plant right behind you.
Attached to a Hickory Hills Cheese Heart are gift certificates worth $200 each for Bed, Bath and Beyond, Panda Express, and Lima Mall Swatch Watch kiosk! I would like to thank my daddy for making tonight possible.
He is not in the Mafia.
And next up, straight from heaven above, give it up for the God Squad! Hi.
My name's Joe.
Santana Lopez asked me if the God Squad would sing a love song for Brittany S.
Pierce.
And after thinking and praying about it, I knew there was only one right answer.
Absolutely.
Love is love, man.
So, here's for Brittany from Santana.
Cherish is the word I use to describe All the feeling that I have hiding here for you inside You don't know how many times I wish that I had told you Cherish You don't know how many times I wish that I could hold you Cherish You don't how many times I wish that I could Mold you into someone Ooh, ooh, ooh Who could cherish the thought I'm gonna miss you so much.
When? When you get deported, silly.
Let's don't worry about that now.
Let's just think about tonight.
Can't get away, I won't let you Oh-oh, oh You I could never forget you Maybe my dad can buy Ireland! Cherish is the word I use to remind me of Your love You don't know how many times I wish that I had told you Cherish You don't know how many times I wish that I could hold you Cherish Yeah You don't how many times I wish That I could mold you into someone Ooh, ooh, ooh Who could cherish me as much as I cherish you Cherish the thought Ooh, ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh.
Jesus! Holla! Okay, everyone, it's time for my extra-special guest, back from the dead, and cute and compact as ever! Happy Valentine's Day, everybody! This song is dedicated to all the lovers in the room.
If you see a faded sign at the side of the road That says 15 miles to the Love Shack! Love Shack, yeah, yeah I'm headin' down the Atlanta highway Lookin' for the love getaway Heading for the love getaway I got me a car It's as big as a whale Love getaway And we're headin' on down to the Love Shack Love getaway I got me a Chrysler It seats about 20, so Love getaway Hurry up and bring your jukebox money The Love Shack is a little old place where We can get together Love Shack, baby Love Shack, baby Love Shack, that's where it's at Love Shack, that's where it's at Hop in my Chrysler, it's as big as a whale And it's about to set sail I got me a car, it seats about 20 So, come on and bring your jukebox money The love shack The love shack is a little old place Little old place Where we can get together Love shack, baby A love shack, baby Oh, love shack, love shack Oh Love shack Love shack Love, baby, that's where it's at Bang, bang, bang on the door, baby Knock a little louder, Sugar! Bang, bang, bang on the door, baby! I can't hear you! Bang, bang On the door, baby.
Bang, bang Your what?! Tin roof rusted! Love Shack, yeah Love shack, love shack Love shack Love, baby That's where it's at, yeah Love, baby Love shack That's where it's at Huggin' and a kissin'
Okay, everybody, let's hear it for love! Your assignment for Valentine's week is to find and perform the world's greatest love songs.
Now, Regionals is next week, and we still need to raise $250 for costumes and hair spray.
Oh, God, not another bake sale.
If any student gives ten dollars, we will sing these "world's greatest love songs" to their Valentine.
We will serenade each classroom - No! - Yes! Two years ago, we went room-to-room Christmas caroling, they threw food.
And shoes.
Yes, Sugar? Here's a spoonful of Sugar for you all: Don't sweat the small stuff, and it's all small stuff when you're rich.
So, here you go.
Uh, Sugar, I can't take that.
Take it! Okay.
Everyone, give it up for Sugar for paying for our FinalNet and cumberbunds! I love the sound of applause, even if I have to buy it.
Okay, everyone, look under your chairs.
Except you, Artie.
Your chair kept moving, so I hid your surprise in the wastebasket.
I found mine ten minutes ago.
V-Day is my fave day ever.
And to help me celebrate, my daddy's throwing me a huge, ridic party at Breadstix.
And I'm naming it the Sugar Shack.
And drumroll, Rachel you're all invited! But you have to bring a date.
No single people allowed.
They're sad and boring and they don't exist in my world.
Um, but you're single.
Not for long.
Wait, what are you doing here? I got a note that says "Come to the auditorium now.
It's urgent.
" Love, Mandy Patinkin.
" Yeah, so did I.
Going to the chapel And we're gonna get married Oh, God.
Is that your dads? Going to the chapel And we're gonna get married LeRoy, LeRoy.
Thanks, guys.
Thank you, thank you.
LeRoy, we agreed to sing it straight no vocal runs.
That's how Jennifer Hudson got kicked off of American Idol.
I would love to hear you sing something straight.
Dads, what are you doing here? Well, a little birdie named Burt, who owns a tire store, and his little birdie wife, who used to wear a lot of denim, told us that you guys were, uh, fixin' to get hitched.
So we thought we'd return the favor and surprise you.
Mr.
and Mr.
Berry, I am so sorry.
It's only customary to ask the bride's father first, but We wanted to say congratulations! And what better place than on the very stage on which you shared your first kiss? So you're not angry? Not at you.
I'm angry 'cause evidently your father has been having recurring dreams about Hollywood heartthrob Tony Danza.
One dream.
I had one dream that Tony Danza and I went ice fishing, okay? We know you two really love each other.
And if you're really sure you want to spend the rest of your lives together, the last thing we want to do is stand in your way.
No, we wouldn't do that.
I mean, marrying in your teens usually, you know, doubles the likelihood of divorce a fate that befell Liza and Barbra Are you really going to do this right now? Oh, why, you know who else got, uh, just got divorced? Tony Danza! Yeah, did you hear that, LeRoy? Oh! Yeah, he's single now.
Why don't you fire up those snowmobiles and give him a call? It's ice fishing season.
What your dad is trying to say is that he's very excited to start planning his only daughter's wedding.
I'm so excited, yeah.
But, uh, we are using the square tables.
Well, we want to start with a Valentine's Day dinner at our house with the Hudson-Hummels.
We're going to be one big family, so let's make a milestone out of it.
You were raised to be proud of the decisions that you make.
And if this is what you really want, sweetie, well, then you need to start shouting it from the rooftops! Yeah! I love you both so much.
Ah, yeah.
I now call this meeting of the God Squad to order.
Thank you guys for coming.
Our first order of business is to welcome Quinn Fabray back into the fold.
It's nice to see you, Quinn.
Thank you.
I know it's been a while.
When I was at my lowest, I turned to prayer.
Not even sure who I was praying to, really, but it seemed to lead me on the right track.
Amen.
Praise.
Can I ask a question? What's with tarantula head over here? This is our new member.
This is Joseph Hart, but you guys can call him Joe.
He just transferred here to McKinley.
Yeah, I guess I'm a sophomore.
I've been homeschooled my whole life, but this past year I realized my best friend was my mom, so I decided I wanted to get out and experience the world.
Joseph.
What's with the tats? Bible quotes.
And each one of my dreads is named after a book of the Bible.
You have got to be kidding me.
I play guitar, too, but I only know Christian stuff.
My dad only listens to talk radio, and we don't have a TV.
You guys mind if I take off my shoes? I'm sort of used to going to school barefoot.
I'm just glad there's another dude around here.
I notice that Shane isn't a member of the God Squad.
- That's interesting.
- Okay, that's enough, Sam.
All right, so our last meeting we talked about opportunities for community service.
Uh, Valentine's Day's right around the corner, and since the Glee Club turned it down, there's an open slot for singing telegrams.
All four of us sing, and Teen Jesus and I play guitar, so I thought we could use the money to adopt a highway and start a shoe drive.
Praise.
It is a religious holiday St.
Valentine's and all that.
And I'd love to show this school that it's cool to be Christian.
We aren't all just door-to-door Bible salesmen, like my dad.
All right, all in favor? Righteous.
Wait, which one are you gonna take to Sugar's V-Day party? All of them.
The entire sorority? They don't call them the "E-Z-Dee-Zees" for nothing.
I got the gig cleaning the sorority house swimming pool, then I sawed through those chicks like a freakin' sex tornado room to room.
You're amazing.
I'm a professional.
Tried the true love thing With a teacher.
- Wasn't for me.
- Well, it is for me.
And apparently it's for Blaine, too.
even from his sick bed, he's managed to send me a new Valentine's Day card every single day this week.
It says "From your secret admirer.
" So romantic.
Oh.
Ooh.
A gorilla gram? Pour moi? "To Kurt.
From your secret admirer.
" Again.
Well, I wonder who it could be.
Will you tell me who it is, Valentine gorilla? You see, Puckerman, that's what you're missing out on: True love.
What about you, Rory? Who are you taking to Sugar's party? Sugar.
Hold up.
You better have an option "B" because I'm all over that.
You're going with Sugar? As soon as I ask her out, and she says yes, which I'm sure she will because I don't mean this to sound mean, Irish but nobody understands anything you say.
Baloney.
Chicks dig accents.
I'm sorry, what was that? Couldn't quite make it out.
Fellas, there's no need to fight.
You can just pick up the girls that fall off old Puckerosaurus here.
This is a four-leaf clover, kid.
'Cause you're going to need all the luck you can get.
Do you people just carry those around? Let's Road House, Flanagan.
L is for the way you look at me O is for the only one I see V is very, very extraordinary E is even more than anyone that you adore And love is all that I can give to you Love is more than just a game for two Two in love can make it Take my heart and please don't break it Love was made for me and you L is for the way you look at me O is for the only one I see V is very, very extraordinary E is even more than anyone that you adore And love is all that I can give to you Love is more than just a game for two Two in love can make it Take my heart and please don't break it Love was made for me and you Love was made for me and you Love.
Happy Valentine's Day.
You're giving me your computer for Valentine's Day? It's a playlist.
With all the songs that I hear in my head when I'm with you or when I'm thinking about you.
I wanted to make you a CD for Valentine's Day, but this is as far as I got without any help, so Oh, and I made you a cover.
Brittany.
Thank you.
You're welcome.
Teen lesbians! I must see you in my office, right now.
This is such bull crap! Why can't Brittany and I kiss in public? 'Cause we're two girls? Please don't make this about your sapphic orientation.
This is about public displays of affection.
PDA simply has no place in the sacred halls of McKinley High.
We've had complaints.
About us? When? Most recently yesterday, 12:16 p.
m.
That? Our lips barely even grazed.
And by the way, did you get any complaints about that hideous display that started at 12:17 p.
m.
and lasted for several uncomfortable minutes? Believe me, I'd much rather see you and Santana kiss than that so-called Finchel, but if a student files a complaint - because, for religious reasons - Oh.
Great.
So it was some Bible-thumper that complained.
Ms.
Lopez, I'm sorry, but I'm trying to keep this school from turning into a volatile powder keg.
I'm sorry, too.
'Cause all I want to be able to do is kiss my girlfriend, but I guess no one can see that because there's such an insane double standard at this school.
Artie, four wheels on the floor, please.
Rachel, you had an announcement? Yeah, actually, Finn and I have an announcement we'd like to make.
Finn and I are proud to announce that we're finally getting married.
What? Wow! When's the baby's due date? Wait, guys, have you both carefully thought this through? Yes.
And our parents are totally behind us.
And your plan to stop us by telling them totally backfired, Mr.
Shue.
Actually, I'm the one who told them.
Because I think you guys are making a mistake.
A huge mistake.
- When's the wedding? - The date is TBD, but I can assure all of you that we're gonna have a very simple and elegant ceremony at the Justice of the Peace, which all of you are invited to.
And we're registered at Samuel French.
You guys aren't mature enough or old enough to properly face this type of commitment.
If you don't support us, then I feel sorry for you, and you're not invited to the wedding.
Which makes me really sad, because I would have loved to have seen you in a bridesmaid's dress, Quinn.
And you as well, Kurt.
I'd be happy to be a bridesmaid, Rachel.
I'm not sure I'm ready to get married, but I do know what being in love feels like.
- We'll be there.
- Thanks, guys.
And we hope the rest of you all change your minds, because it would mean a lot to us if you were all there.
Well, add me to the list of people who are wishing you guys the best in your marriage.
However, let's stop the fighting and remind ourselves that Valentine's Day is rapidly approaching.
So if you'll excuse me.
- If you'll excuse me.
- Yeah.
Sorry.
Congrats, though.
I got some sugary sweet game to spit.
Give me a beat, Finn.
Mm Yeah, yeah Mm, mm Yeah, yeah Baby, I just don't get it Do you enjoy being hurt? I know you smelled the perfume The make-up on his shirt You don't believe his stories You know that they're all lies Mad as you are, you stick around And I just don't know why If I was your man Baby, you - Never worry 'bout - What I do - I'd be coming home - Back to you - Every night - Doin' you right - You're the type of woman - Deserve good things - Fist full of diamonds - A hand full of rings Baby, you're a star I just want to show you you are You should let me love you Let me be the one to Give you everything you want and need Baby, good love and protection Make me your selection Show you the way love's supposed to be Baby, you should let me You deserve better Whoa, oh, you know you deserve better We should be together Baby With me and you, it's whatever, girl Hey, so can we make this thing ours? You should let me love you Let me be the one Let me be the one to give To give you everything you want and need Everything you need Baby, good love and protection Said everything Make me your selection Show you the way love's supposed to be Yeah, let me love you.
That's all you need, baby.
Wheel me to class, baby.
I didn't speak up in class, but I wanted to say that I'm 100% behind you.
I fully support your right to be unhappy with Finn for the rest of your lives.
You should be able to love whoever you want.
Excuse me.
Are you Miss Rachel Berry? Um, yeah.
Well, we're the God Squad, and we're here to deliver a Vocal Valentine from one Finn Hudson.
My heart's a stereo It beats for you, so listen close Hear my thoughts in every note Oh, ote Make me your radio Yeah And turn me up when you feel low Sorry about the little bit.
This melody was meant for you So sing along to my stereo If I was just another dusty record on a shelf Would you blow me off and play me like everybody else? If I asked you to scratch my back, could you manage that? Yeyeah, chicka Travie, I can handle that Furthermore, I apologize for any skippin' track It's just the last girl that played me left a couple cracks I used to used to, used to, used to, now I'm over that 'Cause holding grudges over love is ancient artifact If I could only find a note to make you understand I'd think of something real and grab you by the hand Just keep it stuck inside your head like your favorite tune And know my heart's a stereo that only plays for you Oh, oh oh, oh My heart's a stereo, it beats for you, so listen close Hear my thoughts in every note Yeah, yeah, yeah, come on Make me your radio, and turn me up when you feel low This melody was meant for you So sing along to my stereo Oh yeah Oh To my stereo Oh, oh So sing along to my stereo I only pray you'll never leave me behind Never leave me Because good music can be so hard to find So hard to find I take your hand and hold it closer to mine Thought love was dead, but now you're changing my mind My heart's a stereo, it beats for you, so listen close Hear my thoughts in every note You're gonna make me a radio Make me your radio, and turn me up when you feel low This melody was meant for you So sing along to my stereo.
Yay! Happy Valentine's Day.
Love, Finn.
That was so sweet.
- So you guys are a Christian group? - Yes.
And if I pay, I can send a Vocal Valentine to anybody I want, right? Ten bucks.
That's the deal.
Well, awesome.
In that case, I would like to send one to my girlfriend Brittany.
And by that, I don't mean my friend who's a girl.
I mean my girlfriend girlfriend.
How does that sound? Look what I just found in my locker! "Bee Mine Forever, from your Secret Honey.
" I swear, that Blaine is such a romantic.
Horrifying.
Finn, Rachel, come on, that's enough.
Everyone, sit down, uh, listen up.
Rory has the floor.
I've been trying to get my student visa extended, so I can spend junior year at McKinley, but I just found out the request was turned down.
So when the school year ends, I'll have to go back to Ireland.
What? I miss my family so much, but you guys have become my second family.
This song reminds me of you guys and how much I've grown to love each and every single one of you, and how thankful I am that you've made a place, away from Ireland, feel like home.
Another summer day has come and gone away In Paris and Rome But I wanna go home Mm, home Maybe surrounded by a million people I Still feel all alone Just wanna go home Oh, I miss you, you know And I've been keeping all the letters That I wrote to you Each one a line or two "I'm fine, baby, how are you?" Well, I would send them But I know that it's just not enough My words were cold and flat And you deserve more than that Another airplane, another sunny place I'm lucky, I know But I wanna go home Mm, I've got to go home Let me go home I've had my run, and, baby, I'm done I gotta go home Let me go home It'll all be all right I'll be home tonight I'm coming back home.
Rory I feel worse for you than I do for Artie.
Will you be my date for Valentine's Day? It would be an honor.
All right, guys.
We have to have a discussion and figure out what the God Squad feels about singing to gay people.
Well, three of us are in Glee Club, so we're pretty much sing to gay people all the time.
I know we're okay with it, but Joe may not be.
I try my best not to judge anybody.
But, honestly, I've never met anyone who's gay.
Oh, I guarantee you have.
Yeah, they say that one out of every ten people are gay.
And if that's true, that means one of the 12 apostles might have been gay.
And my guess is Simon because that name's the gayest.
The Bible says it's an abomination for a man to lay down with another man, but we shared tents in Cub Scouts and slept next to each other all the time so that would make Cub Scouts an abomination? Do you know what else the Bible says is an abomination? Eating lobster, planting different crops in the same field, giving somebody a proud look.
Not an abomination? Slavery.
Jesus never said anything about gay people.
That's a fact.
Well, maybe he wanted to, but he didn't want to hurt Simon's feelings.
You guys, we have to figure out where we stand.
Especially, if we're gonna be asking volunteers from my church to sing backup for us.
I don't want to hurt Santana's feelings, but I also don't want to make someone do something they're not comfortable with.
So where do you stand, Joe? I guess I've gotta think about it.
You know what? That's totally fair.
You have to look at the hard topics and dilemmas and be honest and truthful.
If you ask me that's what being Christian is really about.
I know it's early, but It's a statue of St.
Valentine.
Well, actually, it's a statue of one of the three wise men I repainted to look like Saint I told Shane about us.
Wow.
Was he mad? He was sad.
He cried and said it felt like I punched him in his heart.
I saw this MMA guy get punched in the heart once.
He died for, like, a minute.
That sucks.
At least it means we can be together for real now.
Whoa.
What we did what I did to Shane was wrong.
I lied, I cheated, and it makes me feel awful, and I love you, but being with you just reminds me of that that I'm not the person that I thought I was.
We would never do that to each other.
I thought that I'd never do that to Shane.
But I have to face the truth.
When it comes to love, I don't know who I am, and until I find out, I can't be with anyone.
I-I can't be with you.
If I Should stay I would only be in Your way So I'll go But I know I'll think of you Every step of The way And I Will always love you I Will always love you You, you You My darling, you Bittersweet Memories That is all I'm taking With me So good-bye Please don't cry We both know I'm not what you You need And I Will always love you I Will always Love you You I hope Life treats you kind And I hope You have all you've dreamed of And I wish to you joy And happiness But above all this, I wish you Love And I Will always love you I will always Love you I will always Love you I will always Love you I, I will always Love you I, I will always Love You You Darling, I love you Oh, I'll always I'll always Love you.
You're the top You're an Arrow collar You're the top You're a Coolidge dollar You're the nimble tread of the feet of Fred Astaire You're an O'Neill drama You're Whistler's mama You're Camembert! How come we never do this? Oh.
You're Inferno's Dante You're the nose On the great Durante I'm just in the way As the French would say, de trop But if, baby, I'm the bottom But if, baby, I'm the bottom But if, baby, I'm the bottom, you're the top.
Rachel Berry.
Thank you, thank you.
Thank you so much for joining us in our nightly tradition of turning just plain old dinner into dinner theater.
And now dinner is served.
This way.
Smells great.
Delicious.
- That was good.
- Yeah, thank you.
See, I have a couple of notes.
I said, "LeRoy, this guy sold us" the wrong lube.
" Yeah.
"That's why the rubber is squeaking.
"That's why it feels so weird when we start going really fast.
" Excuse me, Hiram, what are we talking about? We're talking cars.
Yeah, those clowns down at Local Lube they don't know how to lube a car.
Hiram, the duck was divine and the house is exquisite.
Thank you, sweetie.
Nate Berkus a dear, dear friend.
That's not true.
Yeah, no, it's not, no, no, no, not true, but it feels like he is, I love his designs so much.
Everything is, you know, Nate, Nate Berkus.
So, Mr.
Berrys, how did you two meet? Ooh.
Ah.
Hey, that's a, th-th-that's a funny story.
We were both in the international supergroup Up with People.
Up with People was a sensation.
Glenn Close, you know, she got her start on Up with People.
Yeah, and we've been together ever since, which was, uh, in our late 20s, early 30s when we got together.
Uh, and on that note, may I make a toast to Rachel and Finn on this very special Valentine's Day? Finn, you're a fantastic husky young man whom LeRoy and I simply adore, and it gives us such joy to see you make our little Rachelah so happy.
Let me tell you the secret of a long and happy marriage never go to bed without moisturizing.
Bet you thought I was going to say "Never go to bed angry.
" Okay, let's get back on track here.
A toast to the Hudson-Hummel-Berry clan.
And to Finn and Rachel.
We love you both so very, very much.
We sure do.
To Finn and Rachel.
Finn and Rachel.
Indeed.
Mmm.
Mm-mm-mm! Now dessert.
Oh, you know what we've got? Velvety Viennetta, and then we're going to commence with the teenage lovemaking.
No, just kidding.
No.
We, we don't have Viennetta.
They discontinued Viennetta years ago.
We're gonna go straight to the teenage lovemaking.
I'm sorry, what? Yeah.
Wait, w-what are you talking about? Your mom packed a bag.
I brought your toothbrush and your jammies - your sleepy T-shirt and, and boxers.
- Mom.
No, I did, yeah.
You're getting married, you're not kids anymore.
As far as we're concerned, you're adults, so knock yourself out.
Carole and I are gonna go catch a movie.
Hiram and I are going to stay here, but we'll put on some music just so you don't think we're trying to listen in.
I can't believe this is happening.
I love you.
Let's go to bed.
Okay.
I know it's tempting, but, uh, no monkey business tonight, not with my dads around the corner.
Of course.
Are you, you gonna use the bathroom first? Yes, if that's okay because my ritual is pretty elaborate.
Okay.
First I shower.
I'm more thorough than during my morning bath.
The world is a very dirty place.
Brush teeth, eyebrows, makeup remover, moisturizer, followed by an ice water face bath ÃÂ la Joan Crawford in Mommie Dearest the height of glamour.
Find something cute to wear.
Text my dads to let them know I'm almost ready for my evening tea well, we'll skip that one tonight.
Then condition and brush my hair.
Hi.
Hi.
Hey, I-I kind of need to use the bathroom; it was a really big meal.
No, you can't do that here.
Where am I supposed to do it? Um, at your house? Hilarious I'm just gonna jump in beside you.
I don't mind if you stay.
Oh, for God's sakes, Finn.
Can't you at least try to keep some sort of mystery until we're married? What do you think it's gonna be like in New York? We'll be on opposite schedules, so, you know, you can use the bathroom while I'm at school and I'll use it when you're at when you're working or what-whatever.
What's that supposed to mean? You don't think I'm gonna be doing anything in New York? You think I'm just gonna be around to bring you Diet Cokes and cheer you on? I knew it.
I knew one day you'd be intimidated by my success, but I didn't think it would be before we graduated.
Where are you going? The bathroom downstairs.
I can guarantee one thing you're not gonna have to add to your little crazy-town nighttime ritual getting into bed with me.
FYI, we got a private party here tonight, hon.
Oh, I know, I know, I'm, I'm early.
Well, according to this, I'm, I'm early.
I'm supposed to be meeting my cutie here for a long overdue reunion, but I, uh, I guess he didn't make it.
Wouldn't be too sure about that.
I knew it! Oh, See's candies! "Dear Kurt, Happy Valentine's Day.
I think I love you.
" Wait.
You think you love me? Karofsky.
So, you tormented me, shoved me into lockers, called me horrible names and hate-kissed me.
Now, after one conversation in a bar, you want us to be together? When I was at McKinley, I hated who I was.
I took that out on you because there you were, so proud.
I've wanted to call you since that night at Scandals, and, look, it's taken me a while, but for the first time in my life, I'm trying to be honest about what I feel.
And I'm flattered, I I-I really am, but David, you just think that you love me.
You don't really love me.
Oh, you've helped me so much, Kurt, you don't know.
I haven't come out at school yet, but maybe I will next year.
David, look, I am so proud of you for for coming so far.
And I want you to be happy and and you will be happy, but I'm with Blaine.
A-And I like you.
But just as friends.
I should go.
Wait.
Now, you don't have to go.
I hope you like the candies.
The butterscotch ones are my favorite.
Mine, too.
Hey, Karofsky.
Nick.
You guys hanging out for Valentine's Day? No.
No.
No, no.
We-We used to go to the same school.
We just bumped into each other.
- That's exactly what it looked like.
- I gotta go.
David I'll talk to you later.
I'm really glad we kissed and made up.
I mean, it is Valentine's Day, after all.
Mm-hmm.
This whole living together thing and being right on top of one another it's definitely a lot more challenging than I thought.
It's like real life and stuff.
I know.
I have to be honest.
I was a little afraid of what it would be like for us to really be married.
I don't know.
I think we can do it, right? I think we can.
Good.
Mm.
Mm.
Mm.
Except for one thing.
It's 7:15.
No way.
Yeah.
You want to go to Breadstix? I was hoping you'd say that.
Let's go.
I like Carole after three Chardonnays.
Shh.
Listen, listen.
Shh.
Listen.
Silence.
They're not fighting anymore.
It's not working.
What, is he defiling our baby? - Do you need a Xanax? - I already took three.
This is a stupid plan.
We've never lied to her like this before.
Honesty, respect, dance those are the foundations of the Berry family.
These are desperate times.
Every teenager does the exact opposite of what their parents tell them.
I don't know where she got this idea of marriage anyway, but she's not going to go through with it.
She is a little girl with big dreams It's too bad.
I like Finn.
Nobody is saying that they have to break up.
They're just too young to get married.
As long as we continue to do what we're doing lying about supporting it utterly and completely she'll come around, and she'll see it our way.
It's reverse psychology.
- It's the only way.
- Hey.
We're gonna go go Breadstix.
We decided that we want to just be with our friends tonight.
And then I'm probably just gonna go home after.
R-Really? Yeah, we thought we heard you guys squabbling up there.
Cohabitating is not-not-not so easy, huh? I hope this little experiment doesn't cause you to postpone the marriage for a few months? - Right, or years.
- Don't do that.
Actually, it's the opposite.
We just decided that, you know, since it's gonna take us a little while to get used to one another, that we might as well just, you know, get started.
We're getting married in May! Right-Right after Nationals! It's gonna be a spring wedding.
I'll talk to you guys more about it when I get home tonight.
I'm so excited.
- And I love you both very much.
- Love you so much.
Okay, well, I'll be back in a little while.
Bye.
Testing.
Testing.
Testing.
Testing.
What up, McKinley?! Welcome to the Sugar Shack! Okay.
Everyone look under your chairs, except you, Artie.
Yours is in the potted plant right behind you.
Attached to a Hickory Hills Cheese Heart are gift certificates worth $200 each for Bed, Bath and Beyond, Panda Express, and Lima Mall Swatch Watch kiosk! I would like to thank my daddy for making tonight possible.
He is not in the Mafia.
And next up, straight from heaven above, give it up for the God Squad! Hi.
My name's Joe.
Santana Lopez asked me if the God Squad would sing a love song for Brittany S.
Pierce.
And after thinking and praying about it, I knew there was only one right answer.
Absolutely.
Love is love, man.
So, here's for Brittany from Santana.
Cherish is the word I use to describe All the feeling that I have hiding here for you inside You don't know how many times I wish that I had told you Cherish You don't know how many times I wish that I could hold you Cherish You don't how many times I wish that I could Mold you into someone Ooh, ooh, ooh Who could cherish the thought I'm gonna miss you so much.
When? When you get deported, silly.
Let's don't worry about that now.
Let's just think about tonight.
Can't get away, I won't let you Oh-oh, oh You I could never forget you Maybe my dad can buy Ireland! Cherish is the word I use to remind me of Your love You don't know how many times I wish that I had told you Cherish You don't know how many times I wish that I could hold you Cherish Yeah You don't how many times I wish That I could mold you into someone Ooh, ooh, ooh Who could cherish me as much as I cherish you Cherish the thought Ooh, ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh.
Jesus! Holla! Okay, everyone, it's time for my extra-special guest, back from the dead, and cute and compact as ever! Happy Valentine's Day, everybody! This song is dedicated to all the lovers in the room.
If you see a faded sign at the side of the road That says 15 miles to the Love Shack! Love Shack, yeah, yeah I'm headin' down the Atlanta highway Lookin' for the love getaway Heading for the love getaway I got me a car It's as big as a whale Love getaway And we're headin' on down to the Love Shack Love getaway I got me a Chrysler It seats about 20, so Love getaway Hurry up and bring your jukebox money The Love Shack is a little old place where We can get together Love Shack, baby Love Shack, baby Love Shack, that's where it's at Love Shack, that's where it's at Hop in my Chrysler, it's as big as a whale And it's about to set sail I got me a car, it seats about 20 So, come on and bring your jukebox money The love shack The love shack is a little old place Little old place Where we can get together Love shack, baby A love shack, baby Oh, love shack, love shack Oh Love shack Love shack Love, baby, that's where it's at Bang, bang, bang on the door, baby Knock a little louder, Sugar! Bang, bang, bang on the door, baby! I can't hear you! Bang, bang On the door, baby.
Bang, bang Your what?! Tin roof rusted! Love Shack, yeah Love shack, love shack Love shack Love, baby That's where it's at, yeah Love, baby Love shack That's where it's at Huggin' and a kissin'