Glitch Techs (2020) s01e01 Episode Script

Age of Hinobi

[device beeping]
We are Zoid. We will smash you to dust.
-Totally gonna block you this time.
-Not if you can't see.
-All right, nuggets, five minutes.
-[groans] We were just gonna beat it.
[both grunting]
-Oh, it's broken. What did you do?
-I didn't do anything.
[both] Mom!
Now, don't "Mom" me.
You can play more tomorrow.
That game's not going anywhere.
[both exclaiming]
We are Zoid.
We will smash you to dust.
[all gasp]
I'm with tech support.
Surrender to Zoid.
You cannot hope to defeat us.
That's what they all say.
[all exclaim]
[all exclaiming]
[grunts] Take that!
[automated voice] Glitch contained.
-[man snores]
-[glass shatters]
[Mitch] Hinobi Game Systems
apologizes for any inconvenience
this minor glitch may have caused
and will now restore your system's memory.
[snorts] What did I miss?
[all speaking in reverse]
[both grunting]
We are Zoid. We will smash you to dust.
[Phil over gauntlet] HQ calling. Come in.
[gauntlet chiming]
Go for Mitch.
-You finish debugging that Puzzler glitch?
-Another flawless victory.
Just be sure to upload all glitches
from your gauntlet
when you get back to HQ this time.
Thanks for the strategy tip, boss.
[scoffs] Like I need a walk-through.
[indistinct chatter]
Okay, I need a moo shu pork carnita,
two fried rice and beans,
and an order of won-tonquitos.
RĂ¡pido, Nieto!
Grinding as fast as I can, Papi!
Ponzu! Chorizo! Tortilla! I choose you!
Player readies for melee.
He sprinkles and unleashes
his power combo, the triple chop!
And for the finishing move
[clears throat]
Okay, guys, it's me, K. Moon,
and today is the day.
The seventh annual Hinobi Smash Tournament
is here, and the hype is off the charts.
It's set to be
the biggest NS competition yet.
I'm even hearing the company
sent exclusive wristbands
to the top-ranked gamers in each city.
So, y'all, can I just say,
"If you got one of these things,
I am mega jealous
of that sweet, sweet swag.
Okay, so if we're talking competitors,
we gotta talk
reigning champ, Mitch Williams.
He'll be defending his title
for the fourth year in a row--
Five, you're not burning
my frijoles in there, are you?
-[wristband sizzles]
Nursing those trigger fingers? [chuckles]
Sorry, Abuela, I was just--
-Five! Five, you in there?
We're stuck again.
Ten minutes. Make 'em count, playa.
Thanks, Abuela.
All right, my little rookie game grinders,
you are indeed witnessing the hidden level
of Hinobi's 1993 classic, Chomp Kitty.
What? You heard it was impossible?
Too much game to tame?
Well, as long as you feed this cat
enough power pellets,
you can use pattern recognition. Boom!
Endless repetition. Zoom.
And your own ambition. Va-da-ba-da-voom.
[electronic fanfare playing]
-To make the impossible possible.
-[kids cheering]
[kid] Five, you're the best.
My brother, he said you got
one of those bracelets from Hinobi.
You gonna be in that tournament
today, Five? You'd dominate! [chuckles]
Come on, you guys know
my grandparents need me here.
-If I left, who would cook?
-Oye, Five!
-Bring yourself back in here!
-Ooh, sorry, Papi. I was in the zone!
Huh? You shut the fryer off?
Found this on the floor.
Has your name on it.
That? Oh, that's nothing. [chuckles]
-Sure seems like something.
-We looked online.
Says only the best gamers
in the city get these.
Says first prize is a job
at the Hinobi Game Store.
I'd think you'd want
an opportunity like that, yeah?
Of course I would,
but the game's today and I gotta work.
Besides, even if I won,
you guys can't afford to replace me, so--
That's not your problem.
-All you gotta do is play your heart out.
-[gasps] Really?
You guys mean it?
You'd leave work to take me to the game?
Hey, who needs to leave?
We'll take our work with us! [laughs]
But this truck hasn't moved
since before I was born!
[laughs] It's only a few miles.
We can still make it!
[engine revving]
[horn honks]
-[Papi] Hinobi, here we come!
-[Five] Whoo-hoo!
[rock music playing on TV]
Yeah! Perfect! Perfect! You're a legend!
I am a legend.
[groans] Can't you play
in the living room, Miko?
You see this?
This means your big sis
is gonna wreck a bunch of fools today.
I'm invincible!
-[music stops]
Mom says come to breakfast
before you shake the house apart.
You can pull the plug on my TV,
but you can't pull the plug on destiny!
[family members clamoring]
-[girl 1] Pass the milk!
-[girl 2] Get it yourself.
-[clamoring continues]
-[dog barks]
[girl 1] Did you eat all of the cereal?
-You're the worst.
-[girl 2] I am.
Two minutes to minivan.
Phones off, shoes on. No ifs, ands or--
Miko, what are you wearing?
I bought you a blouse at Bullseye.
Mom! It's my good luck shirt.
For the Hinobi Smash Tournament today.
What is she talking about?
What are you talking about?
I posted a note about this
on the busy board a month ago!
[sighs] I'm showing Geoffery's
ballet recital, Lexi's hockey playoff,
Nika's science fair soft open,
Lee's preschool parade,
and huh?
What exactly is Hinobi Smash?
It's an exclusive game competition.
Sorry, kiddo. We've got a full day ahead
and won't have time to--
But you guys wouldn't even have
to drive me there.
I can just log into the game from home!
You spend enough time in front
of that screen already, young lady.
Now, get changed.
We have a lot of events today.
You're taking everyone else
to do the stuff they like, but not me?
-That's not fair!
Okay, that's time!
I want butts in belts people!
Din, din. Do it now, do it now!
Tell you what. You can have
a little extra game time tomorrow.
Okay, kiddo?
Gang's all here. Let's go!
[mimicking parents] Miko,
it was very irresponsible of you
to bail on family day.
What do you have to say for yourself?
[in normal voice] I say you're looking
at a first place champion, Mom and Dad!
[van horn honking rhythmically]
Oye, muchachos! Who's hungry? [laughs]
[indistinct chatter]
[Five] Oh, man. Look at all those people.
Oh, nerds, oh, nerds, oh, nerds.
Get out of that head, you.
I swear, you're gonna get lost
in there one day,
and I'm not gonna be able to get you out!
Eh, just have fun.
Try not to think too hard.
[exhales heavily]
[laughter and indistinct chatter]
[announcer] We are coming at you live
from the Hinobi Store
located in the Bailley Square Mall,
bringing you this year's
Nobi Smash challenge,
sponsored by Hinobi Games
and Buzzcore Beverages.
And guess who's out there,
pumpin' up this crowd.
They know him. They grew up with him.
Nobi, the Hinobi Honeybee!
Man, that thing creeps me out.
Uh, hi. Sorry, do you work here?
No, I just make it a point to accessorize
all my button-downs
with manager name tags.
I, uh, have this?
Whoa! He's the missing player.
Took your sweet time logging in,
didn't you?
Great. Let's incite this riot.
[announcer] Give it up for High Five!
[crowd cheering]
All eyes on you, champ.
Okay, we're doing standard
competition rule set.
You'll be playing on a new map
designed specifically for this tournament.
So no outside communication
is permitted in play,
and there will be absolutely no respawns.
Any questions?
[stammers] Did you just say no respawns?
Yep. If you're out, you're out.
So don't get nauseous, faint or freak out,
and you should do just fine.
[crowd cheering]
[Five chuckles] Whoa!
This is amazing!
Mitch Williams? Is everyone seeing this?
I'm meeting Mitch Williams!
I can't believe it. I learned so much
from watching your Let's Play videos.
[laughs] Thanks.
[announcer] We'll be ready to start
once our remote players finish logging in!
Here comes one now!
[in deep voice] I am MEK.O.!
Join me or die!
[in high-pitched voice]
In my chipmunk boy band. [laughs]
[in normal voice] Hey,
who disabled the voice filter?
-I'm okay.
You're MEK.O., aren't you?
Yeah! And you are Hi5?
Do I know that gamer tag?
-[announcer] Defeated by MEK.O.!
-[announcer] Sniped by MEK.O.!
[announcer] Obliterated by MEK.O.!
Aw, come on!
Nope. [giggles nervously]
Oh, nerds.
Relax, bro.
No matter what happens out there,
we're all gamers.
[announcer] Three, two, one!
And gamers play to win!
[both grunt and yell]
[all exclaiming]
[crowd cheering]
Hey, man! Let go of my leg!
Uh-uh! I am not letting go of your leg!
Ugh, fine. Then grab the ball!
-[Miko] Upsies!
-[Five exclaims]
-You owe me one!
-It's on.
[Miko] What up?
[Five laughs] Whoo! Yeah!
Yeah! Whoo-hoo-hoo!
[Miko in singsong] Duh-nuh-nuh,
this is my theme song, nuh nuh!
Bringing rainbows of pain.
Miko is the best!
Heads up!
[grunts softly]
Ah, yeah!
[Mitch grunts]
Ha ha!
You're Mitch Williams!
-And you're not.
[Five coughing]
You believe that rager?
I guess that's why he's number one.
Number one dingleberry, maybe.
Ugh! I so wanna beat this guy.
All right, look,
I just say we gang up on him.
When it's down to just us, best shot wins?
-Death to dingleberries!
-Uh, was that a yes?
Huh? [exclaims]
Wait up. I think I got a plan
to get us to the final platform.
We're on the final platform!
[Five] Yes!
Okay, but slow down.
These tiles may be booby-trapped.
Slow down? It's a race!
[Wilhelm] Coming through!
[laughs, screams]
Okay, that's a game changer.
[Five] Let's go!
[scoffs and chuckles]
Hold still, you slippery sandworm.
You two realize this isn't co-op, right?
There's only one winner, me!
-Hey, look out!
-[both scream]
-Close one.
-[Five] Hmm
Wait. It's a puzzle.
[yells, grunts]
[laughs] Yes! This is for the win!
Hey! Look out!
-[Mitch grunts]
-[Miko yelps]
Come on!
My ball, it's stuck!
Did this game just glitch on us?
[Phil over gauntlet] Uh, I'm showing
a major software bug in there, Mitch.
We need to pull you from the game.
Not until I secure this win.
-Your buddy can't score without a ball,
and you're dead meat.
Looks like game over.
Not yet, dingleberry.
-[Mitch] What?
-[laughing and cheering]
-[Abuela] Oh, yeah, that's showin' 'em!
That's right! You get 'em, mijo! Get 'em!
Yes! Yes! I won! I won!
You can't score
with another player's ball like that!
That was not fair!
-Yes! I think the all-star just rage quit!
[Miko laughs]
[Five] And we unlocked a bonus level?
[Miko] Whoa!
You guys saw that bogus shot, right?
It can't count!
Tell me the game's glitched,
so it can't count!
We got bigger problems
than your high score right now, Mitch.
Plixel breach in three, two--
[all exclaim]
-Techs, gauntlets up!
-[Mitch grunts]
[crowd exclaiming]
Let's hear it
for augmented reality, folks!
[joints cracking]
I'll do this myself.
-[glitch giant roars]
-[Miko exclaims]
-Think we can take him?
-Just one way to find out!
Oh, nerds.
-[glitch giant stomping]
[grunts] Whoa!
This VR is so tight--
What the
Zahra, Nix, with me!
Take it down!
[automated voice] Hello.
A minor glitch has been detected.
Please stand by
-as we restore your system's memory.
-What in the
Ten, nine, eight
-[Papi] Hmm
-seven, six,
-five, four
-Okay, okay.
-Whoever wants a free T-shirt
-you just look right there.
-Right at the big screen.
-What kinda game is this?
-The kind nobody's gonna remember.
Good thing you were never here.
-[echoes] Never here.
-I was never here.
[K. Moon on TV] and surprising nobody,
Mitch Williams secured his number one spot
at the Hinobi Smash Tournament today.
-[Papi] Need that order up here, Five!
You fall asleep on me in there, playa?
[stammering] What? Oh, uh, sorry.
Um, I'm awake, Papi.
I'm awake.
-[Miko's Mom] Miko!
-I'm awake!
[Miko's Dad] And she's awake.
You guys are never gonna believe
what happened!
I was in this VR game,
killin' it, like always,
when a no-joke-giant-monster hand
came through the plasma,
grabbed me, threw me on the couch
and, zschoop, got sucked back into the TV.
Next thing I know,
the TV's all, "Don't move,"
and I was all, "Boom! Whaugh! Voo-oosh!"
You believe me, don't you?
Mom, please, it's not fair!
You can't just take my console away!
I can and am, young lady.
I hope ditching your family today
was worth it,
because it was the last video game
you'll be playing for a long time.
I was telling the truth!
[cell phone chiming]
Could I maybe borrow your phone
for just a second?
Mom told me not to let you use it.
Mom doesn't need to know.
Just a special secret
between us super cool gal pals?
What'll you give me if I let you?
-All of your chores for a week.
And a jetpack for my Mermaid Mindy doll.
Ugh! Fine!
Okay, let me see here.
Now, what was that guy's gamer tag?
Yes! Here he is.
High Five! He'll know what's up.
Hype-hype! Uh, how much not to tell Mom
I'm sneaking out?
-[Lexi] Mindy needs a laser blaster.
That mongrel should be a lawyer.
-[man exclaims]
C'mon, High Five, where are you?
I found you! In an alley! No judgements.
Oh, man, I'm so glad
that statue monster didn't crush you.
-Do I know you?
-It's MEK.O.!
[announcer] Defeated, sniped,
obliterated by MEK.O.!
Uh, never heard of you.
We just played in a tournament together.
You know, Nobi Smash? The game glitch?
The statue monster?
-We were in a tournament?
-How could you not remember?
Maybe somebody
doesn't want you to remember.
Maybe some evil somebody
who's trying to hide the truth
like some kind of
some, some some-spiracy.
[laughs] Come on, I think I'd remember
playing Nobi Smash with a statue monster.
So you didn't get a wristband,
and you didn't go to the Hinobi Store?
Look, the only place I've been
for the last three days is this truck.
And trust me, it never goes anywhere.
If this a joke, I don't really get it,
but, you know, ha ha! You got me!
You were at that tournament, Five!
-You need to believe me.
[scoffs] What does it even matter?
Because you won.
"Some-spiracy"? [scoffs]
[speaks Spanish]
[in English] Me, in a tournament?
Like I've been anywhere but--
[spatula clatters]
[stuttering] Abuela?
Uh, did you or Papi move
this truck in the last few days?
This old beast hasn't moved
in the last few decades!
Uh, sorry, Abuela, I gotta go.
Hey, you! Hold up!
Look, all right, let's just say
I really did play in that tournament,
you're saying I beat Mitch Williams?
Uh, yeah. With my help, of course.
All right. I don't know what's going on,
but I wanna find out.
All right! Setting new quest waypoint
for the Hinobi Store!
[tires screech]
Man, I love this store.
When I was little, my dad would bring me
here for all the latest game releases.
Sometimes, we'd even camp
outside the doors
to make sure we got
one of the first copies.
Wow. It's cool
your family's so into gaming.
Mine, not so much.
There's that wrinkly little sandworm!
There he is! Oh, man, Mitch Williams.
I mean, he's, like, a local legend.
Did you know that he won
his first competition when he was six?
And he's still got the highest
global score on Nobi's Bubble Tea?
Well, before you finish
that love letter, remember,
Mitch is the creep
who probably wiped your brain.
Why didn't he do the same to you?
Maybe he did, and it just didn't take.
[gasps] Maybe I'm, like,
the one, you know?
Chosen by destiny to protect the innocent
from trolls like him!
Or not. I dunno.
-Let's go! Wait, stop!
-[Five grunts]
[Mitch] Hmm.
[car door opens and closes]
[engine revving]
New plan.
We follow him, stealth-mode style,
till he leads us to his den of lies!
[Five yells and grunts]
Welcome to Mama Miyamoto's
Spaghetti in a Bucket,
where we put spaghetti in a bucket.
Uh, yeah.
I'll have a small pail with a side of
Mmm no.
Welcome to Mama Miyamoto's
Spaghetti in a Bucket,
where we put spaghetti in a bucket.
Give me two mega buckets
and two apple pies.
-That'll be $9.75.
Welcome to Mama Miyamoto's--
You know, I'm not really hungry.
[Mitch laughing]
Holy smokes!
That guy really can mess with minds!
And just made off
with about ten pounds of free pasta.
-New plan. Get him!
-Good plan!
-[brakes squeal]
-[Mitch grunts]
Hey, champ, we need to talk.
What the I remember you.
And we remember you.
You stole my win. Uh, apparently.
How can you know about that?
I reset you myself.
Everybody resets.
[Five grunts]
Is zapping people
your solution to everything?
Pretty sad if you ask me.
Especially since a tool like that
could be used to help people,
instead of cheating.
-[Mitch gasps]
-[gauntlet beeps]
Everybody resets!
You love to play the hero,
but, really, you're just some bully!
-I'll wipe you clean!
-[grunts] Stop it!
[both grunting]
Let go! You don't know
what this thing does!
-[both gasp]
-[glitch hisses]
[gauntlet beeping rapidly]
[Five grunts]
[Phil] Mitch, we're showing
a glitch release from your gauntlet.
[Mitch] Got it under control.
Don't send backup.
[Phil] Just be careful.
If that thing goes viral,
it could spread through the entire arcade.
Oh, boosh!
I am done playing
with you two whack-a-moles.
[both exclaim]
[both grunt]
This is a serious Mitchuation.
I can't have you morons make it any worse!
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
Seriously? A "Mitchuation"?
I used to look up to you
and now I don't even know who you are!
I'll tell you who I am.
I'm the guy who's gonna send
you back to the alley you crawled from.
And this time, you're gonna stay there
where you belong.
[automated voice]
Security system activated.
-[door rattling]
-[Miko grunting]
[continues grunting]
Come on, try everything.
There's gotta be something
we can use in here.
This is out of control.
The kid has stuff that opens portals
and erases memories!
Who knows what else he made us forget?
Family members? Pets?
What if we already got out of here
but he made us forget we did,
so now we think we're still in here?
What if we've always been in here?
You might be overthinking it.
Besides, you know Mitch's play style.
He likes to psyche people out.
I bet there isn't even
a real security system in here.
Well, now we know.
[device beeping]
Oh, check it out, Five. A red button.
The mother of all buttons!
[Five] Will you stop
messing around up there?
From the moment I met you,
you've just made everything worse.
You know what your problem is?
You think too much.
-Where did you
-He must have tossed it in here.
[heart beating loudly]
Good thing you were never here.
[echoing] Never here.
I did beat Mitch Williams.
Give me that.
Please don't blow up.
Please don't blow up.
Welcome cadet. I am BITT!
A Binary Intelligence Tech Trainer!
Searching for updates.
None found.
Hey, maybe he can help us
get out of this van.
I am sorry but my services are for
the exclusive use of Glitch Tech recruits.
I also dispense food and beverages.
Fresh-baked muffin? Mmm.
[gasps] I want one for Christmas!
What's a Glitch Tech?
[BITT] Citizens employed by Hinobi
for the purposes of detecting
and capturing glitch entities!
Uh, that's us all right!
New trainees reporting for duty.
Right, Five?
Uh, yeah!
She and me, we are trainees
employed by Hinobi
for the purposes of whatever the purpose
is you just said.
Very well.
Simply connect these Glitch gauntlets
and choose "start" to begin!
[powering up]
[Five] Whoa!
[Miko laughs]
[Five] Whoo-hoo!
It's got some kinda UI.
Like a radar, a minimap
and a targeting crosshair?
[BITT] Move your wrists up,
down and side to side.
This is known as your targeting area.
Oh, I am loving where this is going.
[beeps] Glitch signature acquired!
Now calculating the shortest route.
Uh, shortest route to what?
[dramatic music playing]
The shortest route
to intercept the glitch!
[machine powering down]
[automated voice] Sock 'em!
Sock 'em! Sock 'em!
[girl screaming]
Whoo-hoo! [giggling]
[powering down]
[glitch hissing]
[machine powering down]
[all gasp]
I hate retro titles.
[all screaming]
[automated voice] Glitch Techs detected.
I said no backup!
[both grunt]
You have reached your destination.
[groans] I've had it with you griefers!
I am trying to clean the mess you made,
and you keep making it worse!
Chomp Kitty?
[Mitch screams]
Strategic update. Run away!
[both screaming]
[Five] This is no longer
my favorite video game!
[glass clattering]
-Uh, is there an instruction manual?
-[gauntlet beeping]
Mitch? You're okay?
I am stuck in the belly
of a malevolent digital construct,
so, no, I'm not okay!
Help me, you morons!
You want our help?
You're gonna admit what you've done
and help us put things right again!
Fine, just get me out of here!
The static discharge is frizzing my hair!
[Miko] Ooh! Maybe these'll help.
Let's see. Sparkly gem thingies,
feathers, mushrooms Ooh, pizza!
Hey, furball, ya hungry?
You fed it a power-up?
We probably should have stayed in the van.
Target glitch has gone viral!
What's a glitch?
[BITT] A glitch is an artificially
intelligent plixel construct!
-So, basically, video game monsters!
-I got it!
Yeah! Didn't like that, did ya?
[all growling]
They didn't like that. Run!
[gauntlet chimes]
Use your gauntlets to drain its power.
And get me out of here!
Uh, hey, BITT?
Do these things have multi-target?
[automated voice] Multi-target activated.
-[both yell]
-[Chomp Kitty meows]
-[Five] Come on! Let's get him!
[Chomp Kitty growling]
[children laughing]
Uh, why is he eating the ball pit?
Glitch intelligence
is limited to base programming.
Oh, he thinks they're pellets!
[gauntlet chiming]
Hurry! I am surrounded by toddler snot!
-That gives me a plan.
-He loves plans.
Uh, heavy!
Oh, boy.
-[Chomp Kitty meowing]
-It thinks you're food. Great plan!
[Five speaking Spanish]
Alert! Trainee down!
Uh, BITT, can a power-up's effect
be reversed?
Power-ups can be modified
to nerf a target.
I'll take that as a yes.
Uh, nice kitty!
Looks like game over.
Delete my browser history!
Alert, a Tech needs support.
Now providing backup assistance!
-[BITT yells]
-[gauntlet beeping]
Here kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty!
Chomp on this.
[Mitch screaming]
[boy laughing]
-[gauntlet activating]
Hey, pro, how'd you like
your memory reset?
[chiming] Caution, a Tech gauntlet
is not to be used aggressively.
It is a tool to protect innocence,
never to harm.
Yeah? Well, your MVP here
really needs to read the dang manual.
You gotta believe me,
I wasn't really gonna do it!
I was freaked you wouldn't reset.
Everybody resets!
You stole my win. Why?
To protect your lame gamer status?
I'm Mitch Williams.
I am the number one gamer in this city.
You take that away from me,
you may as well take everything.
Besides, that win was bugged.
He wasn't even the real winner.
-She was.
But Five made the winning shot.
Yeah, with your ball, remember?
-So I guess you won.
No matter which one of us won,
he still loses.
Please, don't!
If we wipe your precious gaming career,
you've got nothing left to protect.
I know I went too far,
but do not take this from me.
It's what I love.
It's who I am.
Me, too.
-Me, too.
-[gauntlet deactivating]
[gauntlet chiming]
[Phil] Come in, Mitch.
After the discharge,
your signal went viral.
What happened in there?
You wanna tell him or should we?
So your daughter wasn't lying
when she told you
a no-joke-giant-monster hand
came out of your TV
and trashed your living room.
I'm sorry, what exactly
are you people talking about?
We're talking about offering
your daughter and her friend here
part-time jobs in the Hinobi Store's
new technical support department.
A job? I do like the sound of that.
-Especially if it makes you happy.
-[gasps] Whoo-hoo!
Thank you, thank you, thank you,
thank you, thank you, thank you.
Okay, guys, you can do it now.
So, while I restore your system's memory,
you will remember this.
Your daughter's gaming skills have
earned her a job with Hinobi Tech Support.
[squealing softly] And you're so proud.
Honey, wasn't Miko just here?
You know her.
Probably wants to be early
for that new job of hers.
[Phil] So this'll be your day-to-day.
Cash register's here, price gun's here,
pooper's in the back and
Oh, yeah. Yeah, the place next door
sells old donuts at half off.
-That's all?
-What's better than half-off donuts?
Exclusive swag, early release games,
live events!
Yeah, if you earn points,
you get the perks.
Oh, and there are your lockers.
Uh awesome.
I got your awesome right here.
Excuse me.
[both laugh]
-Whoa! [grunts]
Kids, welcome to Glitch Techs.
-[Miko] Awesome!
-[Five] This is amazing!
-[Miko] Whoo-hoo!
-[Five laughs]
[theme music playing]
Next Episode