Glitch Techs (2020) s01e08 Episode Script

Adventures in Pet Training

-[Five] Get him!
-[gauntlets firing]
Zoom zoom Ka-zoom!
Zoom zoom Ka-zoom!
-Zoom Ka-zoom!
-[Five grunts]
Come on, you little Hold still!
Not so fast, fuzzball! [grunts]
Man, I used to love Zoom Kazoom games,
but that catchphrase really gets old fast.
Okay, we get it!
You like the sound of your own name!
Okay, Ally, let's frag that fuzzball!
[Miko] Let's go!
Zoom zoom Ka-zoom!
Hey! Ugh!
-[Ally glitching]
Ally, what's wrong?
Zoom zoom!
What the
Ally? Where'd you go, me birdy?
Ugh! No time for a pit stop, girl!
Oh, no, Ally! You've taken damage!
That's never happened before.
Five! Something's up with Ally!
I think she's sick!
What do you mean?
She's a program. She doesn’t get sick.
Try rebooting her.
Feel better, girl?
Oh, nerds.
How's Ally? Did it work?
[chuckles] Zoom.
Thanks for the distraction, noobs.
What do we do, Five?
She's acted twitchy before,
but never like this.
-This is next level twitching!
You're right, this is bad.
-BITT, come in. Ally needs help.
-[gauntlet beeping]
[BITT] I am sorry,
but as a tech training entity,
I do not possess the data
to diagnose your pet.
So, how do we fix her?
[Phil] Beats me.
But luckily for your bird,
Hinobi's got a pet trainer.
[BITT] You have arrived
at your destination.
[Five chuckles] Whoa!
-Check out those companion pets.
-[birds chirping]
[Miko] You really think this trainer
could help me with Ally, Phil?
Well, Emma is a very dedicated trainer,
but she kind of marches
to the beat of her own frequency,
if you know what I mean.
[both exclaim]
Sweet success!
I have found my car keys!
[chuckling] Well, I can see
you're in good hands, so
[gasps] A first generation
chicky chum NPC mount?
Hold this and do not stop showering it
with food, love and Hinobi gossip.
-Huh. Oh, hey, little guy.
Oh, how I love these turkeys.
You know, Bravestone XII
is my all-time favorite RPG.
That's my pet Ally. She's hasn't
been acting like herself lately.
Oh. Has she been erratic,
nervous, distractible,
eating pretty much anything
that isn't nailed down?
-Pretty much since we met.
So, you don't know your pet very well.
Are you kidding?
I know everything about her!
She flies like a rocket,
looks great in red,
hates authority and loves to caw.
-[cawing, glitching]
Phil told us you were somebody
who could fix glitchy pets.
Ugh. You think she's broken?
Well, she's an artificial intelligence,
isn't she?
Can't you just fix her
by pushing a button or something?
I'm sorry, who are you again?
-Uh, High Five?
There is nothing artificial
about intelligence, High Five.
-You don't have a pet, do you?
-Uh no.
So, what do you two want from me?
I suppose you're here to exchange
this faulty bird for a brand-new one.
No way, lady! That wouldn't be Ally.
Miko, Ally is a program, remember?
-Nobody would know it was a copy.
-I would know.
Oh. I like you, kid.
You think with your thumper,
not your thinker.
Ultimately, it is up to you,
young humanoid,
to find out what's wrong with your pet.
Oh! Oh! Oh!
But what I can do, yes, yes, yes,
is borrow a few game elements
from my favorite RPG
to generate a custom training level
that should help to put you
on the right track. [chuckling]
I'm in! Thank you, thank you, thank you,
thank you, thank you!
This should work.
Now to just hack the simulator,
upload the program and portal you in.
[Five] Uh, isn't hacking the sim
a little dangerous?
If it's a quest to save my bird,
I am going!
[whirring and beeping]
-Come on, Ally. Hi-yah!
-[Ally caws]
So, uh I'll just, you know,
hang out here until she gets back.
Oh, no. I've devised a little trial
for you to help with your pet problem.
But I don't have a pet, remember?
Yeah! That's the problem!
[both screaming]
[theme song playing]
[man] Who knows what really happens
when a video game starts to glitch?
Here come the Glitch Techs
They know what to do ♪
They got the tech
They got the moves ♪
Glitch Techs
They're the wrecking crew ♪
They'll solve the problem ♪
Glitch Techs
When a Glitch is loose ♪
They'll wipe them out
Old school or new ♪
Glitch Techs always coming through
To solve the problem ♪
Glitch Techs
Whoa! ♪
Glitch Techs! ♪
Yeah! ♪
Ally, where are we?
Miko, can you hear me?
Yeah, I can hear you.
Okay, pet trainees, welcome, welcome,
to my custom training simulation!
As RPG fans, you may find some aspects
of this world a bit familiar. [chuckles]
Eh kinda, sorta.
Ya seen one lava level,
you've kinda seen them all.
The rules to this simulation are simple.
To find what you both need,
you must each rely on your pets.
-You up for that, Ally?
Hey, I told you, lady, I don't have a pet.
[electricity pulsating]
[Miko] Whoa!
-What was that?
-[Ally glitching]
Uh-oh. This is
This is the opposite of good.
The sim appears to be glitching.
You should probably make your way
to the exit portal at once.
Get out! Go!
[gauntlet voice] Safety protocols
are offline.
-[Five] Emma?
-[Miko] Hello?
Miko, we're breaking up!
Meet me at the exit portal!
On it! Me and Ally will be right--
Five? Five? Ugh! Glitchy tech.
Okay, girl. All we gotta do is make it
through and then head to the portal.
-You ready?
[Miko] Let's show Emma we're unstoppable!
Ally and Miko
They're two birds of a feather ♪
Even though only one is a real bird
With real feathers ♪
Nah-na-na, na-na ♪
Ally, we gotta go!
That's it, Ally. We're almost-- [screams]
Things are getting mighty tentacley
up in here!
Keep moving!
[Miko exclaiming]
Ally! focus, girl! No time for snacks!
Hey, what'd I just say?
-Aah! Really?
-[Miko exclaiming]
Oh, no, not this again!
Don't worry, girl. I'll just put you away
until I can figure out how to--
[gauntlet voice] Access denied.
Come on! That's weird.
[sighs] Okay, okay, it's fine.
We'll be out of here any second.
All we need to do is stay mindful
of our surroundings,
and an opportunity will present itself.
If we can't go over,
we're just gonna have to go under!
[Five] All right, Five.
Okay, Five, stretch it out.
You didn't ask for this sim,
but you got it.
And you can get out of here,
'cause you eat sims for breakfast.
Let's see. We got a portal.
We got a gate to the portal.
And we got a guard sentry at the gate.
Sure. That's standard.
Now, let's see.
Might be some way past him.
A puzzle or a riddle or
Ah, who am I kidding?
Hey, ugly! Come at me, bro!
Ha! You just got canned!
Uh [chuckling nervously]
Oh. You guys want some of this? Huh?
Oh, come on,
don't you glitch on me right now.
Heads up!
-[Five exclaiming]
Okay, good. They're not coming in.
Wait. Why aren't they coming in?
[Alpha powering on]
Oh, that's why.
Nerds! Nerds! Nerds!
[Alpha roaring]
Uh, yeah, that's right.
And stay down. [chuckles]
Yeah! Good thing
you stepped in just then, bro.
I was just about to pop
a bunch of these fools myself
when you came by.
-[Five] Ow!
-You're broken.
I mean, it's cool! No offense, buddy.
Uh, pal. Or, uh
[Alpha exclaims]
You like Alpha, all right!
So, uh, listen, Alfie.
I was just passing by on my way
to that portal in the sky over there,
but the gate is guarded by those
trash mobs you like beatin' on so much.
I was gonna go clear them myself,
but I figured, why be selfish, you know?
I could help this guy out
and let him in on the action,
and then maybe you could help me
get up there.
You understand "up"?
Yeah, that's right. We're going up!
Okay, just follow me.
The gate is just over
Wait! Wrong way, big guy.
Where are you going?
Okay, this looks semiterrifying,
but Emma designed this level,
so there must be a reason
she put this tunnel here.
Head in the game, girl!
I swear I will feed you when we get back.
Huh? What's that?
Look, Ally! A light to guide our way out!
Or to our death.
Watch out! Go, go, go, go, go!
Oh! Nice level design, Emma!
"You know what this simulation needs?
Killer worms!"
Oh! Where'd it go? Where'd it go?
Aah! Other way! Other way! Other way!
[Miko exclaims]
[cawing weakly]
Oh, no!
-[Alpha grunts softly]
-[Five grunts]
Come on, man. What are you doing up here?
[techno music playing]
-[Alpha grunts]
[Five panting]
Come on, Biggie. I thought
we had an understanding, you and me!
I told you, I need to get up
to the portal in the sky, remember?
[Alpha exclaims]
Yes, up. But this is the wrong up.
I don't want you to go up.
I want you to help me go up!
[techno music continues]
-[Five screams]
-[music stops]
Alpha's missing bolt.
Oh, I get it, Emma.
Classic adventure game side quest.
Complete with its own mini-bosses.
Hey, guys! Heads up again!
Hey, Alpha!
If you want your bolt back,
I hope you can catch as good as you throw!
Nerds! Nerds! Nerds!
[chittering angrily]
Hey, buddy.
I think this belongs to you.
[grunts softly]
-[all shrieking]
[Alpha grunting]
So, are we cool?
[both groaning and laughing]
Man, you should charge tickets
for that ride. [chuckles]
Well, glad to help you, big guy,
but now I gotta get back on my main quest.
Getting up to that portal
so I can meet Miko.
[Alpha grunts]
Are you offering me a ride?
[Miko huffs] Right back where we started.
[cawing weakly]
I'm sorry, girl.
I should be able to help you.
I should know what you need!
I know it doesn't make sense to be sad.
None of this is real. You're not real.
But the way I feel about you is.
Okay, fine.
Maybe I don't know what you need.
But at least I can
finally give you what you want.
[cawing weakly]
Here you go, girl.
-Wait a minute. These aren't fruits.
They're power-ups from Bravestone XII!
That's your game, chickadee!
All this time,
I thought you weren't listening to me.
But it was me
that wasn't listening to you!
-Heavens to metroid, chicky chum!
-You're a fiery chum!
[chiptune music playing]
-Let's show 'em who runs this game, Ally!
[Miko laughs] Everyone bow down
to the regalest bird in Bravestone!
Oh, yeah!
Watch out! Coming through!
[in slow motion] Oh, yeah!
[normal] Alpha and Five! Whoo-hoo!
-We made it!
-Now, where's Five?
-[Five] Whoo-hoo!
Miko, check it out! I made a friend!
-Say hello, Alpha!
-[Alpha grunts]
-Wait. Is that Ally?
-[Ally caws]
[Five and Miko clamoring excitedly]
[Alpha grunts]
[Five and Miko] Oh, nerds.
[announcer] Boss mode!
-We can take him! It's four on one!
-The portal's closing!
No! Why, portal? Why?
Whatever we do,
we're gonna have to do it fast!
Let's make this quick, Ally.
[Five] Eat this!
And so he did.
Come on, Alpha!
[Miko] Fireball! Fireball!
[Miko screams]
Alpha, our friends need us!
-Help! Ally's stuck!
[Miko] Thanks, Alpha!
We can't get past this thing.
What are we going to do?
[Alpha grunts]
No. Come with us, Alpha!
[grunts softly]
[Ally coos]
No! Wait!
[Alpha roaring]
[Five] Alpha!
[both exclaim]
-[Emma] Oh, there you are.
[chuckling] Wow! So how was it?
Tell me everything.
"How was it?"
Your crazy program glitched on us, lady!
We were stuck in there with no gauntlets,
no communication and no
Go on.
You made it glitch on purpose, didn't you?
I told you my training level was designed
to teach you about your chicky chum here.
A pet is a relationship, Miko.
You get out of it what you put into it.
And when it comes to the care
and the feeding of your chum,
I highly suggest
you read the instructions.
I gotta read all nine pages?
The things I do for you, Ally.
You're quiet, High Five. Why so emo, Nemo?
Uh Emma, in the simulation,
I met someone.
Oh! Like this Bravestone XII
Exclusive Edition Alpha Mech?
I can replicate a brand-new one for you
if you want.
I don't want a new Alpha. I want my Alpha.
Not as replaceable
as you once thought, hmm?
Reality's not just here, my friend.
It's also here.
-[grunts softly]
I thought I lost you, buddy.
-[Alpha grunts]
Looks like I have a pet now. [chuckles]
Hey. Says here in the manual
there are even more treats
that can teach you all kinds of tricks.
Wait till you see what these babies do.
[theme music playing]
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