GLOW (2017) s03e01 Episode Script
Up, Up, Up
1 [ELEVATOR BELL DINGS.]
[UPBEAT ELECTRONIC MUSIC PLAYING.]
[MAID.]
Good morning.
Got breakfast! Come here.
Is this too much for opening night in Vegas? [CHUCKLES.]
Like you care.
- [SOFTLY.]
I do care.
- Oh, shh! - [GASPS.]
They're on.
- [MAN ON TV.]
dropping this evening.
And speaking of temperatures, look who I have here.
The hot new stars of Bash Howard's GLOW.
- [BOTH SQUEAL.]
- With me are Liberty Belle, and, uh-oh, this doesn't look good: Zoya the Destroya.
- [GROWLS.]
- [CHUCKLES.]
Ladies, how are you enjoying Vegas so far? Well, as the great American Elvis Presley once said, "Viva Las Vegas.
" Hmm.
More like, "Viva Las Died On The Toilet.
" [RUTH, IN RUSSIAN ACCENT.]
delightful capitalist town.
One of your decadent neon lights could could power entire Soviet village.
And yet, even we can afford clothes to cover women's nipples.
[LAUGHS.]
[MAN.]
Have you guys been to the casino? Well, I like blackjack.
[CHUCKLES.]
We Just don't bet on red.
- That's roulette.
- Chess is far superior - to this blackjack.
- [KNOCK AT DOOR.]
- It's open.
- [RUTH.]
Whole game is what, count to 21? - Did I miss anything? - [DEBBIE.]
At least we can count to 21 They're just plugging the show, making up things about gambling.
- [CHUCKLES.]
- [DEBBIE.]
today is such a proud day for our country.
[MAN.]
You're right.
Speaking of, I think we're getting close.
Hey I'm being told we're about a minute away.
- Hey.
Wake up! - [RUTH SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY.]
You're gonna miss it! [GROANS.]
It's a once-in-a-lifetime event.
What about Yuri? Dog, Laika? Well, you keep launching your puppies.
We are sending schoolteachers into space, because here in America, we believe in, well, dreamin' big.
God bless the, uh What was it? Oh, yeah.
The US Challenger.
Why you so proud of Challenger? "Challenger" means second place.
Is terrible name.
- [LAUGHS.]
Good one, Ruth.
- [CHUCKLES.]
[MAN.]
Okay, ladies, it's time.
Let's go live to the Challenger.
[MISSION CONTROL.]
T-minus 15 seconds.
- [GASPS EXCITEDLY.]
I love this part.
- [CHUCKLES.]
- I'm not even sure where they're going.
- They're going to space.
- Yeah, but, like, where in it? - [MISSION CONTROL.]
Seven, six We have main engine start.
- Four, three, two, one - [ENGINES ROARING.]
- and liftoff! - [BOTH CHUCKLE.]
[MISSION CONTROL.]
Liftoff of the 25th Space Shuttle mission, and it has cleared the tower.
[RUTH.]
Bye-bye.
Hope you don't run out of gas.
[DEBBIE.]
At least we can afford it.
Gosh, would you look at that glorious display of American genius? Soaring across the sky.
Hey, it's like a shootin' star.
That puny rocket look like child toy.
It's probably not even real.
It's pretend, like your Ronald Reagan Star Wars.
I spit on this Challenger mission.
[PRETENDS TO SPIT.]
And who is this Christa? She is high school educator? What she going to do? She going to chaperone prom on rocket ship? Maybe I Challenge-r crew to chess game, how is that? - Then we see who is really superior brain.
- [CONCERNED MURMURING.]
- Ruth.
- [MAN.]
Oh, dear.
[QUIETLY.]
What? [IN NORMAL VOICE.]
Oh, my God.
[MAN.]
It's unbelievable.
Okay, can we can we cut? We need to cut.
["THE WARRIOR" PLAYING.]
Oh Feeding on Your hungry eyes I bet you're not so civilized Break out of captivity And follow me, stereo jungle child Love is the kill Your heart's still wild Shootin' at the walls of heartache Bang, bang! I am The warrior Well, I am the warrior And heart to heart, you'll win - If you survive - Shootin' at the walls of heartache Bang, bang I am the warrior Yes, I am the warrior And victory is mine - Shootin' at the walls of heartache - The warrior I am the warrior Come on, don't worry.
It was only the local news.
Yeah, it wasn't that bad.
I made fun of a national tragedy on live TV.
You were just being a good heel.
And we don't know if it's a tragedy.
Maybe they survived.
The shuttle plunged into the ocean.
They're dead.
What's wrong with CNN? Why do they keep replaying something this sad? [PHONE RINGING.]
- Hello? - [RUSSELL.]
Hey, is she there? Oh, hey.
[CLEARS THROAT.]
Hey.
What a fucking morning.
Were you watching? Yep.
[SWALLOWS.]
- Are you okay? - Not really.
[SIGHS.]
So happy you're comin' tonight.
Yeah, so, about that, um I got called in to work.
KDTV needs "man on the street post-tragedy" coverage.
They're paying me overtime, which should cover the cost of our last phone bill.
I'm sorry.
I really wanted to be your date for opening.
That's okay.
Go work.
I'll call you later.
Good luck tonight.
[RECEIVER CLICKS.]
They're not still gonna open the show tonight, right? All right, so we're at a standstill here? I've got 40 cues to work through.
I've never been in this position.
I don't know the right call, so I called the entertainment director - to see what the other shows are doing.
- [DEBBIE.]
I don't care.
I say we push opening night by a few days.
Can we do that? Yeah, we're the producers.
We're not running things by Glen anymore.
We push so we're not the show that danced on the graves of the astronauts.
Mm-hmm.
Yes.
But let's also run it by Sandy.
Hi! - Thank you.
- Yes, ma'am.
[QUIETLY.]
Get up! Oh, what a morning.
I almost crashed my car listening to it on the way in here.
- How are you all holding up? - Everyone's pretty upset.
Well, it is a fucking tragedy.
And on opening night.
I mean, it's a tough call.
You know, I was here when the MGM fire happened.
Eighty-five people killed.
The entire town was devastated.
Guests literally suffocated in their beds.
- [BASH.]
Mm-hmm.
- [SANDY.]
But when the dust cleared, my old dance captain, Fluff LeCoque - I don't know if you know Fluff, but - Mm-hmm.
Anyway, Fluff walks into the theater, [TAKES A DEEP BREATH.]
she takes a deep breath, and she says, "Well, it doesn't smell like smoke in here.
" [BOTH LAUGH.]
And you know what? They were back - on the stage the next night.
- [SAM.]
Hmm.
That's terrible.
No.
That's Vegas, Mrs.
Howard.
Oh, no, no, no.
This isn't my wife.
No, my wife plays the scientist.
I'm Debbie Eagan.
Also a producer.
Oh, my God.
I am so sorry.
I You know, I've been mistaken for somebody's wife so many times, you would think that I would know better.
Pfft! Yeah.
No, it's me, Debbie, and Sam.
We're like the, uh [CLICKS TONGUE.]
the What's the thing with the three, the - Cerberus? - What? No.
What? What - It's a three-headed dog.
- Three Musketeers? - There we go.
- Oh, Musketeers.
Well, sounds like you have everything under control, so - I'll see you tonight.
- You a big wrestling fan? Uh, I'm a big fan of anything that sells out and gets the people in the casino.
- [BASH LAUGHS.]
Sandy! - [DEBBIE.]
Yeah.
Hey, great.
So we're on, as planned.
Meaning you can throw your opening night party, as planned.
Our opening night party.
All of our party.
[SIGHS.]
All right, we should reconfirm the guest list.
- That's the spirit! - All right, you get your phone, - and I'll get the numbers.
- [BASH.]
Great.
All right.
So, what, none of you Musketeers want to do any real work? [SAM.]
All right, let's jump to the Biddies entering.
- [UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING.]
- [WHEELS SQUEAK.]
- [DAWN, IN ELDERLY VOICE.]
Oh! Yeah! - [STACEY, IN ELDERLY VOICE.]
Here we go! I'm in the money! Here we go! - [DAWN.]
Jackpot! - [BOTH.]
Hey! Who wants to get lucky? But not with us.
- We haven't had sex since the '70s! - [BOTH.]
The 1870s! [BOTH.]
Ha! Can they even see us? Hey, paisanos.
How about we light the girls and not the curtains? - [BOTH.]
Hey! - Oh, we're blinding you with old! [SIGHS.]
You know that stuff you're always telling us about how you can't say MacDeath or whatever in the theater? Do you think it's true? Do I think it's bad luck that a shuttle fell out of the sky on our opening night? Yes, Jenny, I do.
[SAM.]
All right, let's cue the Red Scare.
Maybe we should get a Buddhist monk to bless this space.
You know, just in case.
- Sam.
- Cue the Red Scare.
Come on! ["RED SQUARE REVIEW" PLAYING.]
Oh, this is tremendous.
This is great.
Forty-five minutes of people taking off their coats.
Let's go, let's go! All right, so we do the match.
Do the match.
- [JENNY AND STACEY YELL.]
- [DAWN.]
Wait, what are you doing? - Do the match.
- [DAWN.]
Yeah, Russian.
Yeah, I'm gonna make your bottom red, just like your politics.
I think we should address the Challenger in the show, hit it head-on.
[IN NORMAL VOICE.]
Why? To make everyone cry? Yes.
Exactly.
For catharsis.
What is that, one of your theater terms? All right, now let's kick those Biddies out of the ring.
Yeah.
Out of the ring.
Out of the show.
Maybe they died in the Challenger explosion.
Stacey, too soon.
[SAM.]
Oh, terrific.
I can't wait to hear this bitching for the next three months.
All right, skipping ahead.
Uh, do the, uh the double-cross.
Hey, hey, hot pants.
Your entrance, a little early there.
- [WHISTLES.]
Zoya pins Fortune Cookie.
- [JENNY YELPS.]
- [GRUNTS.]
- Good.
And then Bash says Yeah, we're all devastated.
You should see my fucking sound op.
Nothing.
Bash says nothing 'cause he's on the fucking phone.
Is this gonna be all day? - Looks like Zoya has won the crown.
- [SAM.]
Great.
So, Zoya wins.
[IN RUSSIAN ACCENT.]
No one can defeat Zoya.
- Everyone here is too much sissy.
- "Everyone here is too much sissy.
" Okay.
["RED SQUARE REVIEW" PLAYING.]
[AS LIBERTY BELLE.]
I'll fight you.
- [MUSIC STOPS.]
- [SAM.]
Hey.
Great job, fellas.
Star-Spangled curtains.
Of course you can bring Siegfried, Roy! Oh, my God.
[LOUDLY.]
Well, who is that? Who's that in the audience? [IN NORMAL VOICE.]
Yes.
You? Bored housewife in dress? - [SAM.]
Okay.
Liberty Belle jumps - ["THE WASHINGTON POST" PLAYING.]
- into the ring.
- [SIGHS.]
Oh, gosh.
[SAM.]
And defeats Zoya.
[DEBBIE.]
Fuck.
Fuck.
Fuck.
- [SAM.]
Go.
Flag.
- [DEBBIE.]
Oh, my - [SAM.]
Flag, flag.
- [DEBBIE.]
God.
[SAM.]
Flag, flag.
- Oh, yeah.
- [GRUNTS WEAKLY.]
- [SAM.]
God bless America.
- [GRUNTS.]
[SAM.]
Skipping ahead.
And déjà vu, Welfare Queen steals the crown.
- Okay.
- [SAM.]
Ruth, exit, pursued by a bear.
Yeah.
I know a little Shakespeare.
How do you like that? Where the hell is Tammé? [SAM.]
I don't fuckin' know.
[NEWS REPORT PLAYING ON TV.]
Hey, Tammé, you're on.
I'll be there in a second.
What is that? The Florida coast.
We're just staring at the water where they crashed.
I feel like if we keep watching, something might change.
[GROANS.]
This is like when my grandma was in a coma.
We all just sat there, like sitting was gonna do something.
Sometimes it does.
Um, it didn't.
She loved to keep people waiting.
- [JENNY GRUNTS.]
- Ugh.
- Jenny, there are no windows in here.
- [JENNY EXHALES.]
Well, if there were, it'd be much easier to let out the bad energy.
What the fuck are you doing? - I thought you weren't superstitious.
- [JENNY.]
I'm not.
But my aunt once got into this really big car accident, and my dad said it was because our living room was painted purple.
- Tammé.
- [TAMMÃ.]
Ah! I'm comin', I'm comin'.
[MAN ON TV.]
what the cause of this explosion was, so until then [ELECTRICITY CRACKLING.]
[SIGHS.]
If only I could find the perfect man.
[GASPS.]
Maybe he's here in the audience.
Okay, and go "searching for a husband.
" Light cue, please.
[HEAVENLY HARP PLAYS.]
What do you think of Sandy? I think she's probably dynamite in the sack.
I don't like her.
Well, sure.
Nobody likes the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I forgot how much I love talking to you.
Hear me out.
We have Britannica, a character in our show who could easily speak to this morning's events.
How sometimes even the smartest people get things wrong.
Like, how we thought the world was flat.
Or - bloodletting.
- Ruth, please let this go.
[RUTH.]
It just happened.
And putting on a show is about having a shared emotional experience, so it's Liberty Belle, Britannica, or Zoya, in an act of genuine Soviet contrition.
Okay.
Look, Ruth, I know you made fun of national heroes as they plunged to their deaths.
And And you feel guilty, I I get it.
But unless we make this show a group therapy session and bring up the house lights, and everybody joins hands and starts talking about their feelings, you're not gonna get what you're lookin' for.
[DRUMROLL PLAYS.]
[CYMBALS CRASH.]
I found my husband! You can't see him, but he's very attractive and probably a Mormon.
[SAM.]
Okay, the schmuck from the audience gets thrown out.
Bash swoops in.
All right, we're just marking.
You don't have to actually kiss her.
Sam, she's my wife, who I get to marry every night, over, and over, and over again.
Hey.
Do you think I should wear this to the party tonight? But I thought the party was space-themed.
The party is space-themed.
Debbie, the party is fucking space-themed.
Why is there a theme at all? Because last week, it seemed like a great idea.
- Well, I can help if - [SAM.]
All right, let's separate Elvis and Priscilla here, and, uh, get into, uh, position for the battle royale.
- [JENNY.]
Hey, this is my spot.
- [DEBBIE.]
Sorry, honey.
- Okay, okay.
- [DEBBIE.]
I'm up, - I throw to Jenny.
- Let's go.
Let's go.
Come on.
Woo-hoo! Fall back.
[STACEY.]
Okay, who gets the crown? [YELLS.]
- [MELROSE.]
Then we - [JENNY.]
Here, then you headlock me.
[MELROSE.]
Thanks.
All right, no lighting change, no lighting change.
[MELROSE.]
I go through, and then I'm gonna You know, can we just skip ahead to uh, just three left, please? - What? What order is that? - [DEBBIE.]
Last three.
- Okay.
- [YOLANDA.]
Junkchain out! [MELROSE.]
Then I'm gonna do this, - and then okay.
- [DEBBIE.]
All right.
Okay.
- [STACEY AND DAWN.]
Biddies out! - Okay, let's go with the zip line.
- [ZIP LINE WHIRS.]
- [YELLING.]
- [LINE CREAKS.]
- Huh Uh! Uh Oh.
Ugh! It's stuck! [GROANS.]
There's something on the rope.
Can you, like, scooch and get over it? [GRUNTING.]
No, I - [GROANS IN FRUSTRATION.]
- Oh, my God, careful.
[EXHALES.]
Why don't you just cut me down, and I'll fall from the sky - like everything else today? - No.
Not on my watch.
Just stay there.
I'll go get a ladder.
[ALARM BLARING.]
What the fuck is happening now? Okay, it's a fire alarm.
That's a fucking fire alarm.
- Oh, my God! Is it the incense? - [WOMEN SCREAMING.]
- [STACEY.]
Oh, no! - [JENNY.]
Where did I leave the incense? [SAM.]
Are you fucking kidding me? - [PANICKED CHATTER.]
- [YOLANDA.]
Just fucking go! How you doing? [SIRENS WAILING IN DISTANCE.]
[INDISTINCT CHATTER.]
[INAUDIBLE.]
I just feel like if any more people die, we should probably throw in the towel, huh? I don't smell smoke.
Maybe it was just in the kitchen.
Carmen, that's how the MGM fire got started.
Oh, my God, I set the building on fire.
- I forgot it gets cold here.
- Yeah, sand doesn't hold heat.
- Want my coat? - [SHEILA.]
Mm-hmm.
Ooh! [CROWD CHEERS AND APPLAUDS.]
[SIGHS.]
How many cues do we have left? Two.
And we still have to rehearse the curtain call.
[MAN.]
All clear.
All clear.
- Everybody can go back inside.
- [CHERRY SIGHS.]
[ARTHIE.]
I need a nap.
- I'm so sorry for the inconvenience.
- Thank you.
Please, have a drink and play a little blackjack on us.
[LOUNGE MUSIC PLAYING.]
These are free? [RUTH.]
Merci! Oh, my God! Those feathers.
They're so beautiful.
And tall.
Oh, so you're into tall girls now? I'm into whatever is happening here.
[BOTH CHUCKLE SOFTLY.]
So sorry for the inconvenience.
Thank you.
Oh, hey.
Here.
One for you.
Oh.
[SIGHS.]
Sometimes everyone needs a little reset.
And a little false alarm, too.
- Here you go.
- [MAN.]
Appreciate it.
Thank you.
Yeah, look, so I know the shows are all here to feed the casino, but if you want my girls to do anything other than depress the shit out of people, you're gonna need to do a little better than these one-dollar chips.
I mean Better? We'll see.
- [MOUTHS.]
- [UPTEMPO LOUNGE MUSIC PLAYING.]
Hey! Hey, Sam, you can cover those last few cues, right? - Yeah, I got it covered.
- [RUTH.]
Where did you get those? It's an opening-night present from the casino.
[SAM.]
Hmm.
Ruth, you're with us.
Come on, Sam's got it.
[EXCITED CHATTER.]
Does anyone know how to play this game? Gotta pay to throw.
Both dice have to hit the back wall.
Gets a little complicated after that, but just maybe pick a number.
What? They hold classes here every Wednesday.
All right.
Four.
Don't No, not four.
Four is the Chinese 13.
Oh, you're Chinese now? I'm Chinese-Cambodian.
The Chinese were colonizers all over Southeast Asia.
Asian identity is actually really complex.
All right, eight or or twelve? There's no point yet, you're just gonna wanna put it - on the pass line.
Better bet.
- Pass line it is.
Oh, um, someone blow.
Oh, no.
[CHUCKLES.]
No way.
Why not? The Fan-Tan slogan.
"Your Fortune Awaits," Fortune Cookie.
Oh, you haven't heard? Jenny carries the curse of the Red Dragon.
[TO THE TUNE OF THE ORIENTAL RIFF.]
Everything she touches Turns to shit Okay, that's, like, extra racist, even for you.
You are not cursed.
Blow on them and change your luck.
- [BLOWS.]
- [DEBBIE.]
Yeah! - [JENNY GASPS.]
- [DAWN CHUCKLES.]
Craps.
Line away.
Sorry, ladies.
[CHERRY GROANS.]
Okay.
The Cambodian Cooler strikes again.
You need to leave the table.
- [CHERRY.]
Uh, no.
No.
- [TAMMÃ.]
No! No, let her stay.
She just can't breathe on nothing.
One more time.
Yeah, come on.
All right.
- [CROUPIER.]
Pass line bets.
- All right.
Pass line.
Let's go.
- [REGGIE.]
Okay.
- [BLOWS.]
Come on, mama.
[JENNY SQUEALS.]
- Seven.
Well done.
- I won? You all won.
- [ALL CHEERING.]
- [BIG BAND MUSIC PLAYING.]
- [CHERRY.]
I won! - Do that again.
Exactly the same.
Everyone who bet, bet again.
- [CHERRY.]
Okay.
- Okay.
[BLOWS.]
[CHUCKLES SOFTLY.]
[YOLANDA.]
Okay.
Black magic.
Seven.
Winner.
[ALL CHEERING.]
Nobody move! We got a hot table! Oh, my God, we're winning money, bitches! Hey, Perry, any messages for me? No, sorry.
- Oh, but Miss Eagan.
- Yeah? Happy opening night.
Um, could you have those sent to the GLOW dressing room? Thank you.
Hey, will you come here? I wanna show you one thing.
[RUTH EXHALES.]
[SIGHS.]
Oh, come on.
I thought seeing our name in lights would cheer you up.
Technically, it's Bash's name in lights.
Well, that would explain why no one knows who the fuck I am or what I do.
[EXHALES.]
Look, we may never open a show in Las Vegas ever again.
Just take a moment and appreciate what is right in front of you, so you don't miss it.
Hey, this is me speaking as your producer.
Everyone is up.
Don't bring them down into your sinkhole of despair.
[CAR DOOR OPENS.]
Hey.
That was fun last night.
No, Todd, I What did we say? I'm not I'm working.
It's Chad.
[CAR DOOR CLOSES.]
- Really? - Yeah, really.
He's 25.
I'm single.
Smoke 'em if you got 'em.
God! Please make that cake go away! Um, can you take this downstairs to the kitchen and ask them to turn it into some trifles? - [CASINO ATTENDANT.]
Right away.
- What's a trifle? Oh, it's like mashed-up cake with berries, custard, and cream.
Unless you want them to turn it into a penis cake.
[EXHALES.]
Give us the room, please.
Thank you so much.
Thank you.
Thank you.
- Look - [DOOR CLOSES.]
all we need for a good party is alcohol, drugs, and good people.
- And we've got all of those.
- I didn't get any drugs.
Well, I did.
From the valet.
It's all sorted.
You didn't have to do that.
Well, it's my party, too, you know.
And it's the first time we're hosting together.
It's exciting.
These producers I invited tonight, they're they're legends.
Donn Arden.
Jeff Kutash.
David Saxe.
Who, by the way, is still in high school and is somehow already a name in this town.
Well, maybe they should make a little room for the new kid on the block.
They were at the gift shop.
I bought ten.
My hair looks terrible.
[LAUGHS.]
You're bonkers.
You look very handsome.
And you're on the cover.
So I don't know why I'm so nervous.
I I've thrown a million parties, but I don't know these people, and this isn't my house, and I don't have I I don't recognize half the names on the guest list.
Okay.
I love meeting new people.
- Uh-huh.
- [RHONDA.]
And I love parties.
And I love you.
[ROMANTIC INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC PLAYING.]
I thought you weren't sure if you wanted to.
Well, I want to.
[CHUCKLES.]
[LAUGHS.]
- [BOTH PERFORMING VOCAL EXERCISE.]
- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa I got you flour-s.
Get it? Like, flour-s.
Like, instead of flowers, I got you flours.
Like, each individual grain of flour You're the sexiest nerd I've ever met.
[ARTHIE.]
Thank you.
[BOTH GIGGLE.]
Who sent those? You got a man? Oh, no, those are from Randy.
So, really, they're from my ex-husband masquerading as my baby.
Ernest sent me a box of See's Candy.
No card, but I know it's him.
Angel.
Hey.
You see this? [DEBBIE.]
Are you kidding me? I set up this whole photo shoot.
I think they took a million pictures of both of us.
[SAM OVER INTERCOM.]
Ladies, hello.
Hello, Gorgeous Ladies of GLOW.
It's opening night.
And And listen, you know, I just wanna [CLEARS THROAT.]
I just wanna say that, uh, you you've all worked very hard - [SWITCHES INTERCOM OFF.]
- Well, I did wanna say something [TAKES A DEEP BREATH.]
to all of you.
Um Ooh! I wasn't sure that we could, uh, bounce back after this morning.
What happened this morning? - The Challenger.
- [REGGIE.]
Oh, my God.
I forgot about it too.
- Oh, it's official.
We're assholes.
- [DEBBIE.]
No, no, no.
You were professionals.
You were sad.
But you pulled it together and you did your jobs.
And tonight, thanks to your hard work I I'm sorry, I'm sorry! Can Can we just take a moment of silence? We're so lucky to all be here together.
I know we're not acknowledging anything in the show, but can we have a moment? Is that okay? - [CHERRY.]
Yeah.
- Sure.
[SIGHS.]
[UNDER BREATH.]
Okay.
[SIGHS.]
- Sorry, I need to put these somewhere.
- Shh! - Bash doesn't want balloons at the - Shh! - [DAWN.]
Shh! - Oh.
We're having a moment of silence for the Challenger.
Oh, shit.
Sorry.
Um, you can just put them in here.
[MELROSE.]
What's his problem with balloons? Oh, no, no! Just Just leave 'em.
Um, they float about, and floating reminds him of the astronauts.
That makes sense.
[TAKES A DEEP BREATH.]
[REGGIE GIGGLES.]
- Stop.
Come on, be respectful.
- I'm respectful.
[SHRIEKING AND GIGGLING.]
[CHERRY.]
Shh! [SHRIEKING AND GIGGLING CONTINUING.]
[OPTIMISTIC INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC PLAYING.]
[GIGGLING AND EXCITED CHATTER.]
Alan, looking great.
Pal-ing with Alan.
Kutash, I want comps to Splash, all right? I wanna feel the water on my face.
Okay.
Hey, looking good.
What the fuck is going on with your hair? I love this town, I love my wife.
How the girls doing, huh? Uh, they're good.
I think they're good.
I gave 'em a big pep talk.
- Great.
- I think it was my best pep talk.
- I think they're gonna do great.
- Hey! - Oh, hi.
- All right.
[CHUCKLES.]
- Good evening.
Hi, there.
- [BASH.]
Hi.
God, I love opening nights.
- You're a little underdressed.
- Well, I can't fucking watch.
Too many Too many cues and costume changes.
I'll be out at the bar.
Is that your husband, or grandfather, or Gentlemen, this is Bernie Rubenstein.
Bernie Rubenstein, director and choreographer of Rhapsody? [QUIETLY.]
The longest running show at the Fan-Tan.
- [IN NORMAL VOICE.]
What an honor.
- Bernie can't really hear much.
- [LOUDLY.]
What an honor! - [SANDY.]
He never misses an opening night.
He's a good-luck charm.
[LOUDLY.]
Isn't that right, Bernie? What is this show again? It's lady wrestlers.
You're gonna love it.
Oh! I used to wrestle in high school, you know.
[DAWN, AS EDNA.]
Hi! Here we are! The showgirls have arrived! Hey! You know, they used to call me "the slot machine," but they put me out of commission, 'cause they said my slot was too loose.
- Hey! - Cha-ching, cha-ching, cha-ching! - [LAUGHTER.]
- Can't keep anything in there.
- [LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE.]
- [DAWN.]
Man, I'd love to be a call girl, - [STACEY.]
Really? - [DAWN.]
but I can't figure out how to use the answering machine.
- [BOTH.]
Oh! - [AUDIENCE LAUGHS.]
[STACEY.]
They asked me to be a lady of the night.
- But I can't stay up past 6:00 p.
m.
- [BOTH.]
Oh! [DAWN.]
You know, they call me an old bird, but, really, I'd prefer the early bird, if you know what I mean! [COMEDY ROUTINE CONTINUING INDISTINCTLY.]
[AUDIENCE CHEERS AND APPLAUDS.]
Are you ready? I guess.
- It's been a weird day.
- [BASH.]
And, in this corner, - at a combined weight of 227 pounds - [AUDIENCE BOOING.]
[DOOR OPENS.]
[SAM.]
Whoa! - Holy shit.
- [RUTH LAUGHS.]
Really? It's okay? Sheila got it for me at the lost-and-found.
And you ruined it.
I mean, I don't need to know that.
Now I'm thinking about how it got there.
- You look nice, too.
- [SAM.]
Hmm.
Thank you.
Wanna have a drink before we go up? [CLICKS TONGUE.]
Fine.
Well, just come in and watch me have a drink, then.
Come on.
I got you an opening-night card.
- [RUTH.]
You did? - No.
But I thought about it for a few seconds.
Would've been good.
[LAUGHS.]
[SAM.]
Okay.
That's too much.
[SAM.]
All right.
You know, don't finish it, all right? Cheers.
Wow, what a day.
The worst.
You know, when I was making my first movie, Robert Kennedy was shot.
- Oh! - Yeah, it was awful.
We were all, you know, covered in fake blood and we You know, what do you do? We We kept working.
My dad was watching the launch today with his whole class.
- Science? - Yeah.
- Oh! - Eighth graders.
[SAM.]
Mmm! Those kids all watched that happen in real time.
Did you, uh, call him? My dad? No.
No.
I knew I'd fall apart if I heard his voice.
Had to make it through the day.
We did.
We're still here.
You wanna go to the party? Yeah, you bet.
- Wow, that's a great dress.
- Thank you.
You guys roommates now? - Nope.
- [CHUCKLES.]
Just having a little pre-party drink.
- I have a lot of social anxiety.
Yeah.
- Mm-hmm.
[ELEVATOR BELL DINGS.]
[CHERRY.]
Hold the elevator! Thank you.
This is lovely.
Gonna be so Oh, you look great.
- [CHERRY.]
Look at you! - [SAM.]
Look at you.
[STACEY.]
Oh, my God, this is gonna be so much fun.
[EXCITED CHATTER.]
Hold it, hold it, hold it! Thank you! - Hey, Zora! - Wow! - [MELROSE.]
Oh, this old thing? - [LAUGHTER AND EXCITED CHATTER.]
Tell me, when will you be mine? [MELROSE.]
Hurry up! Tell me, quando, quando, quando What are you doing down here? I ran down so I could ride up with you guys.
[ALL.]
Awww! All right, let me out.
Just I can't take it.
Seriously.
- I'm gonna I'm taking the stairs! - Sam, come on.
We can fit! [INDISTINCT CHATTER.]
Tell me, quando, quando, quando Penthouse.
Going up.
You mean happiness to me Oh, my love, please tell me when Every moment's a day Every day seems a lifetime Let me show you the way To a joy beyond compare I can't wait a moment more Tell me, quando, quando, quando
[UPBEAT ELECTRONIC MUSIC PLAYING.]
[MAID.]
Good morning.
Got breakfast! Come here.
Is this too much for opening night in Vegas? [CHUCKLES.]
Like you care.
- [SOFTLY.]
I do care.
- Oh, shh! - [GASPS.]
They're on.
- [MAN ON TV.]
dropping this evening.
And speaking of temperatures, look who I have here.
The hot new stars of Bash Howard's GLOW.
- [BOTH SQUEAL.]
- With me are Liberty Belle, and, uh-oh, this doesn't look good: Zoya the Destroya.
- [GROWLS.]
- [CHUCKLES.]
Ladies, how are you enjoying Vegas so far? Well, as the great American Elvis Presley once said, "Viva Las Vegas.
" Hmm.
More like, "Viva Las Died On The Toilet.
" [RUTH, IN RUSSIAN ACCENT.]
delightful capitalist town.
One of your decadent neon lights could could power entire Soviet village.
And yet, even we can afford clothes to cover women's nipples.
[LAUGHS.]
[MAN.]
Have you guys been to the casino? Well, I like blackjack.
[CHUCKLES.]
We Just don't bet on red.
- That's roulette.
- Chess is far superior - to this blackjack.
- [KNOCK AT DOOR.]
- It's open.
- [RUTH.]
Whole game is what, count to 21? - Did I miss anything? - [DEBBIE.]
At least we can count to 21 They're just plugging the show, making up things about gambling.
- [CHUCKLES.]
- [DEBBIE.]
today is such a proud day for our country.
[MAN.]
You're right.
Speaking of, I think we're getting close.
Hey I'm being told we're about a minute away.
- Hey.
Wake up! - [RUTH SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY.]
You're gonna miss it! [GROANS.]
It's a once-in-a-lifetime event.
What about Yuri? Dog, Laika? Well, you keep launching your puppies.
We are sending schoolteachers into space, because here in America, we believe in, well, dreamin' big.
God bless the, uh What was it? Oh, yeah.
The US Challenger.
Why you so proud of Challenger? "Challenger" means second place.
Is terrible name.
- [LAUGHS.]
Good one, Ruth.
- [CHUCKLES.]
[MAN.]
Okay, ladies, it's time.
Let's go live to the Challenger.
[MISSION CONTROL.]
T-minus 15 seconds.
- [GASPS EXCITEDLY.]
I love this part.
- [CHUCKLES.]
- I'm not even sure where they're going.
- They're going to space.
- Yeah, but, like, where in it? - [MISSION CONTROL.]
Seven, six We have main engine start.
- Four, three, two, one - [ENGINES ROARING.]
- and liftoff! - [BOTH CHUCKLE.]
[MISSION CONTROL.]
Liftoff of the 25th Space Shuttle mission, and it has cleared the tower.
[RUTH.]
Bye-bye.
Hope you don't run out of gas.
[DEBBIE.]
At least we can afford it.
Gosh, would you look at that glorious display of American genius? Soaring across the sky.
Hey, it's like a shootin' star.
That puny rocket look like child toy.
It's probably not even real.
It's pretend, like your Ronald Reagan Star Wars.
I spit on this Challenger mission.
[PRETENDS TO SPIT.]
And who is this Christa? She is high school educator? What she going to do? She going to chaperone prom on rocket ship? Maybe I Challenge-r crew to chess game, how is that? - Then we see who is really superior brain.
- [CONCERNED MURMURING.]
- Ruth.
- [MAN.]
Oh, dear.
[QUIETLY.]
What? [IN NORMAL VOICE.]
Oh, my God.
[MAN.]
It's unbelievable.
Okay, can we can we cut? We need to cut.
["THE WARRIOR" PLAYING.]
Oh Feeding on Your hungry eyes I bet you're not so civilized Break out of captivity And follow me, stereo jungle child Love is the kill Your heart's still wild Shootin' at the walls of heartache Bang, bang! I am The warrior Well, I am the warrior And heart to heart, you'll win - If you survive - Shootin' at the walls of heartache Bang, bang I am the warrior Yes, I am the warrior And victory is mine - Shootin' at the walls of heartache - The warrior I am the warrior Come on, don't worry.
It was only the local news.
Yeah, it wasn't that bad.
I made fun of a national tragedy on live TV.
You were just being a good heel.
And we don't know if it's a tragedy.
Maybe they survived.
The shuttle plunged into the ocean.
They're dead.
What's wrong with CNN? Why do they keep replaying something this sad? [PHONE RINGING.]
- Hello? - [RUSSELL.]
Hey, is she there? Oh, hey.
[CLEARS THROAT.]
Hey.
What a fucking morning.
Were you watching? Yep.
[SWALLOWS.]
- Are you okay? - Not really.
[SIGHS.]
So happy you're comin' tonight.
Yeah, so, about that, um I got called in to work.
KDTV needs "man on the street post-tragedy" coverage.
They're paying me overtime, which should cover the cost of our last phone bill.
I'm sorry.
I really wanted to be your date for opening.
That's okay.
Go work.
I'll call you later.
Good luck tonight.
[RECEIVER CLICKS.]
They're not still gonna open the show tonight, right? All right, so we're at a standstill here? I've got 40 cues to work through.
I've never been in this position.
I don't know the right call, so I called the entertainment director - to see what the other shows are doing.
- [DEBBIE.]
I don't care.
I say we push opening night by a few days.
Can we do that? Yeah, we're the producers.
We're not running things by Glen anymore.
We push so we're not the show that danced on the graves of the astronauts.
Mm-hmm.
Yes.
But let's also run it by Sandy.
Hi! - Thank you.
- Yes, ma'am.
[QUIETLY.]
Get up! Oh, what a morning.
I almost crashed my car listening to it on the way in here.
- How are you all holding up? - Everyone's pretty upset.
Well, it is a fucking tragedy.
And on opening night.
I mean, it's a tough call.
You know, I was here when the MGM fire happened.
Eighty-five people killed.
The entire town was devastated.
Guests literally suffocated in their beds.
- [BASH.]
Mm-hmm.
- [SANDY.]
But when the dust cleared, my old dance captain, Fluff LeCoque - I don't know if you know Fluff, but - Mm-hmm.
Anyway, Fluff walks into the theater, [TAKES A DEEP BREATH.]
she takes a deep breath, and she says, "Well, it doesn't smell like smoke in here.
" [BOTH LAUGH.]
And you know what? They were back - on the stage the next night.
- [SAM.]
Hmm.
That's terrible.
No.
That's Vegas, Mrs.
Howard.
Oh, no, no, no.
This isn't my wife.
No, my wife plays the scientist.
I'm Debbie Eagan.
Also a producer.
Oh, my God.
I am so sorry.
I You know, I've been mistaken for somebody's wife so many times, you would think that I would know better.
Pfft! Yeah.
No, it's me, Debbie, and Sam.
We're like the, uh [CLICKS TONGUE.]
the What's the thing with the three, the - Cerberus? - What? No.
What? What - It's a three-headed dog.
- Three Musketeers? - There we go.
- Oh, Musketeers.
Well, sounds like you have everything under control, so - I'll see you tonight.
- You a big wrestling fan? Uh, I'm a big fan of anything that sells out and gets the people in the casino.
- [BASH LAUGHS.]
Sandy! - [DEBBIE.]
Yeah.
Hey, great.
So we're on, as planned.
Meaning you can throw your opening night party, as planned.
Our opening night party.
All of our party.
[SIGHS.]
All right, we should reconfirm the guest list.
- That's the spirit! - All right, you get your phone, - and I'll get the numbers.
- [BASH.]
Great.
All right.
So, what, none of you Musketeers want to do any real work? [SAM.]
All right, let's jump to the Biddies entering.
- [UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING.]
- [WHEELS SQUEAK.]
- [DAWN, IN ELDERLY VOICE.]
Oh! Yeah! - [STACEY, IN ELDERLY VOICE.]
Here we go! I'm in the money! Here we go! - [DAWN.]
Jackpot! - [BOTH.]
Hey! Who wants to get lucky? But not with us.
- We haven't had sex since the '70s! - [BOTH.]
The 1870s! [BOTH.]
Ha! Can they even see us? Hey, paisanos.
How about we light the girls and not the curtains? - [BOTH.]
Hey! - Oh, we're blinding you with old! [SIGHS.]
You know that stuff you're always telling us about how you can't say MacDeath or whatever in the theater? Do you think it's true? Do I think it's bad luck that a shuttle fell out of the sky on our opening night? Yes, Jenny, I do.
[SAM.]
All right, let's cue the Red Scare.
Maybe we should get a Buddhist monk to bless this space.
You know, just in case.
- Sam.
- Cue the Red Scare.
Come on! ["RED SQUARE REVIEW" PLAYING.]
Oh, this is tremendous.
This is great.
Forty-five minutes of people taking off their coats.
Let's go, let's go! All right, so we do the match.
Do the match.
- [JENNY AND STACEY YELL.]
- [DAWN.]
Wait, what are you doing? - Do the match.
- [DAWN.]
Yeah, Russian.
Yeah, I'm gonna make your bottom red, just like your politics.
I think we should address the Challenger in the show, hit it head-on.
[IN NORMAL VOICE.]
Why? To make everyone cry? Yes.
Exactly.
For catharsis.
What is that, one of your theater terms? All right, now let's kick those Biddies out of the ring.
Yeah.
Out of the ring.
Out of the show.
Maybe they died in the Challenger explosion.
Stacey, too soon.
[SAM.]
Oh, terrific.
I can't wait to hear this bitching for the next three months.
All right, skipping ahead.
Uh, do the, uh the double-cross.
Hey, hey, hot pants.
Your entrance, a little early there.
- [WHISTLES.]
Zoya pins Fortune Cookie.
- [JENNY YELPS.]
- [GRUNTS.]
- Good.
And then Bash says Yeah, we're all devastated.
You should see my fucking sound op.
Nothing.
Bash says nothing 'cause he's on the fucking phone.
Is this gonna be all day? - Looks like Zoya has won the crown.
- [SAM.]
Great.
So, Zoya wins.
[IN RUSSIAN ACCENT.]
No one can defeat Zoya.
- Everyone here is too much sissy.
- "Everyone here is too much sissy.
" Okay.
["RED SQUARE REVIEW" PLAYING.]
[AS LIBERTY BELLE.]
I'll fight you.
- [MUSIC STOPS.]
- [SAM.]
Hey.
Great job, fellas.
Star-Spangled curtains.
Of course you can bring Siegfried, Roy! Oh, my God.
[LOUDLY.]
Well, who is that? Who's that in the audience? [IN NORMAL VOICE.]
Yes.
You? Bored housewife in dress? - [SAM.]
Okay.
Liberty Belle jumps - ["THE WASHINGTON POST" PLAYING.]
- into the ring.
- [SIGHS.]
Oh, gosh.
[SAM.]
And defeats Zoya.
[DEBBIE.]
Fuck.
Fuck.
Fuck.
- [SAM.]
Go.
Flag.
- [DEBBIE.]
Oh, my - [SAM.]
Flag, flag.
- [DEBBIE.]
God.
[SAM.]
Flag, flag.
- Oh, yeah.
- [GRUNTS WEAKLY.]
- [SAM.]
God bless America.
- [GRUNTS.]
[SAM.]
Skipping ahead.
And déjà vu, Welfare Queen steals the crown.
- Okay.
- [SAM.]
Ruth, exit, pursued by a bear.
Yeah.
I know a little Shakespeare.
How do you like that? Where the hell is Tammé? [SAM.]
I don't fuckin' know.
[NEWS REPORT PLAYING ON TV.]
Hey, Tammé, you're on.
I'll be there in a second.
What is that? The Florida coast.
We're just staring at the water where they crashed.
I feel like if we keep watching, something might change.
[GROANS.]
This is like when my grandma was in a coma.
We all just sat there, like sitting was gonna do something.
Sometimes it does.
Um, it didn't.
She loved to keep people waiting.
- [JENNY GRUNTS.]
- Ugh.
- Jenny, there are no windows in here.
- [JENNY EXHALES.]
Well, if there were, it'd be much easier to let out the bad energy.
What the fuck are you doing? - I thought you weren't superstitious.
- [JENNY.]
I'm not.
But my aunt once got into this really big car accident, and my dad said it was because our living room was painted purple.
- Tammé.
- [TAMMÃ.]
Ah! I'm comin', I'm comin'.
[MAN ON TV.]
what the cause of this explosion was, so until then [ELECTRICITY CRACKLING.]
[SIGHS.]
If only I could find the perfect man.
[GASPS.]
Maybe he's here in the audience.
Okay, and go "searching for a husband.
" Light cue, please.
[HEAVENLY HARP PLAYS.]
What do you think of Sandy? I think she's probably dynamite in the sack.
I don't like her.
Well, sure.
Nobody likes the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I forgot how much I love talking to you.
Hear me out.
We have Britannica, a character in our show who could easily speak to this morning's events.
How sometimes even the smartest people get things wrong.
Like, how we thought the world was flat.
Or - bloodletting.
- Ruth, please let this go.
[RUTH.]
It just happened.
And putting on a show is about having a shared emotional experience, so it's Liberty Belle, Britannica, or Zoya, in an act of genuine Soviet contrition.
Okay.
Look, Ruth, I know you made fun of national heroes as they plunged to their deaths.
And And you feel guilty, I I get it.
But unless we make this show a group therapy session and bring up the house lights, and everybody joins hands and starts talking about their feelings, you're not gonna get what you're lookin' for.
[DRUMROLL PLAYS.]
[CYMBALS CRASH.]
I found my husband! You can't see him, but he's very attractive and probably a Mormon.
[SAM.]
Okay, the schmuck from the audience gets thrown out.
Bash swoops in.
All right, we're just marking.
You don't have to actually kiss her.
Sam, she's my wife, who I get to marry every night, over, and over, and over again.
Hey.
Do you think I should wear this to the party tonight? But I thought the party was space-themed.
The party is space-themed.
Debbie, the party is fucking space-themed.
Why is there a theme at all? Because last week, it seemed like a great idea.
- Well, I can help if - [SAM.]
All right, let's separate Elvis and Priscilla here, and, uh, get into, uh, position for the battle royale.
- [JENNY.]
Hey, this is my spot.
- [DEBBIE.]
Sorry, honey.
- Okay, okay.
- [DEBBIE.]
I'm up, - I throw to Jenny.
- Let's go.
Let's go.
Come on.
Woo-hoo! Fall back.
[STACEY.]
Okay, who gets the crown? [YELLS.]
- [MELROSE.]
Then we - [JENNY.]
Here, then you headlock me.
[MELROSE.]
Thanks.
All right, no lighting change, no lighting change.
[MELROSE.]
I go through, and then I'm gonna You know, can we just skip ahead to uh, just three left, please? - What? What order is that? - [DEBBIE.]
Last three.
- Okay.
- [YOLANDA.]
Junkchain out! [MELROSE.]
Then I'm gonna do this, - and then okay.
- [DEBBIE.]
All right.
Okay.
- [STACEY AND DAWN.]
Biddies out! - Okay, let's go with the zip line.
- [ZIP LINE WHIRS.]
- [YELLING.]
- [LINE CREAKS.]
- Huh Uh! Uh Oh.
Ugh! It's stuck! [GROANS.]
There's something on the rope.
Can you, like, scooch and get over it? [GRUNTING.]
No, I - [GROANS IN FRUSTRATION.]
- Oh, my God, careful.
[EXHALES.]
Why don't you just cut me down, and I'll fall from the sky - like everything else today? - No.
Not on my watch.
Just stay there.
I'll go get a ladder.
[ALARM BLARING.]
What the fuck is happening now? Okay, it's a fire alarm.
That's a fucking fire alarm.
- Oh, my God! Is it the incense? - [WOMEN SCREAMING.]
- [STACEY.]
Oh, no! - [JENNY.]
Where did I leave the incense? [SAM.]
Are you fucking kidding me? - [PANICKED CHATTER.]
- [YOLANDA.]
Just fucking go! How you doing? [SIRENS WAILING IN DISTANCE.]
[INDISTINCT CHATTER.]
[INAUDIBLE.]
I just feel like if any more people die, we should probably throw in the towel, huh? I don't smell smoke.
Maybe it was just in the kitchen.
Carmen, that's how the MGM fire got started.
Oh, my God, I set the building on fire.
- I forgot it gets cold here.
- Yeah, sand doesn't hold heat.
- Want my coat? - [SHEILA.]
Mm-hmm.
Ooh! [CROWD CHEERS AND APPLAUDS.]
[SIGHS.]
How many cues do we have left? Two.
And we still have to rehearse the curtain call.
[MAN.]
All clear.
All clear.
- Everybody can go back inside.
- [CHERRY SIGHS.]
[ARTHIE.]
I need a nap.
- I'm so sorry for the inconvenience.
- Thank you.
Please, have a drink and play a little blackjack on us.
[LOUNGE MUSIC PLAYING.]
These are free? [RUTH.]
Merci! Oh, my God! Those feathers.
They're so beautiful.
And tall.
Oh, so you're into tall girls now? I'm into whatever is happening here.
[BOTH CHUCKLE SOFTLY.]
So sorry for the inconvenience.
Thank you.
Oh, hey.
Here.
One for you.
Oh.
[SIGHS.]
Sometimes everyone needs a little reset.
And a little false alarm, too.
- Here you go.
- [MAN.]
Appreciate it.
Thank you.
Yeah, look, so I know the shows are all here to feed the casino, but if you want my girls to do anything other than depress the shit out of people, you're gonna need to do a little better than these one-dollar chips.
I mean Better? We'll see.
- [MOUTHS.]
- [UPTEMPO LOUNGE MUSIC PLAYING.]
Hey! Hey, Sam, you can cover those last few cues, right? - Yeah, I got it covered.
- [RUTH.]
Where did you get those? It's an opening-night present from the casino.
[SAM.]
Hmm.
Ruth, you're with us.
Come on, Sam's got it.
[EXCITED CHATTER.]
Does anyone know how to play this game? Gotta pay to throw.
Both dice have to hit the back wall.
Gets a little complicated after that, but just maybe pick a number.
What? They hold classes here every Wednesday.
All right.
Four.
Don't No, not four.
Four is the Chinese 13.
Oh, you're Chinese now? I'm Chinese-Cambodian.
The Chinese were colonizers all over Southeast Asia.
Asian identity is actually really complex.
All right, eight or or twelve? There's no point yet, you're just gonna wanna put it - on the pass line.
Better bet.
- Pass line it is.
Oh, um, someone blow.
Oh, no.
[CHUCKLES.]
No way.
Why not? The Fan-Tan slogan.
"Your Fortune Awaits," Fortune Cookie.
Oh, you haven't heard? Jenny carries the curse of the Red Dragon.
[TO THE TUNE OF THE ORIENTAL RIFF.]
Everything she touches Turns to shit Okay, that's, like, extra racist, even for you.
You are not cursed.
Blow on them and change your luck.
- [BLOWS.]
- [DEBBIE.]
Yeah! - [JENNY GASPS.]
- [DAWN CHUCKLES.]
Craps.
Line away.
Sorry, ladies.
[CHERRY GROANS.]
Okay.
The Cambodian Cooler strikes again.
You need to leave the table.
- [CHERRY.]
Uh, no.
No.
- [TAMMÃ.]
No! No, let her stay.
She just can't breathe on nothing.
One more time.
Yeah, come on.
All right.
- [CROUPIER.]
Pass line bets.
- All right.
Pass line.
Let's go.
- [REGGIE.]
Okay.
- [BLOWS.]
Come on, mama.
[JENNY SQUEALS.]
- Seven.
Well done.
- I won? You all won.
- [ALL CHEERING.]
- [BIG BAND MUSIC PLAYING.]
- [CHERRY.]
I won! - Do that again.
Exactly the same.
Everyone who bet, bet again.
- [CHERRY.]
Okay.
- Okay.
[BLOWS.]
[CHUCKLES SOFTLY.]
[YOLANDA.]
Okay.
Black magic.
Seven.
Winner.
[ALL CHEERING.]
Nobody move! We got a hot table! Oh, my God, we're winning money, bitches! Hey, Perry, any messages for me? No, sorry.
- Oh, but Miss Eagan.
- Yeah? Happy opening night.
Um, could you have those sent to the GLOW dressing room? Thank you.
Hey, will you come here? I wanna show you one thing.
[RUTH EXHALES.]
[SIGHS.]
Oh, come on.
I thought seeing our name in lights would cheer you up.
Technically, it's Bash's name in lights.
Well, that would explain why no one knows who the fuck I am or what I do.
[EXHALES.]
Look, we may never open a show in Las Vegas ever again.
Just take a moment and appreciate what is right in front of you, so you don't miss it.
Hey, this is me speaking as your producer.
Everyone is up.
Don't bring them down into your sinkhole of despair.
[CAR DOOR OPENS.]
Hey.
That was fun last night.
No, Todd, I What did we say? I'm not I'm working.
It's Chad.
[CAR DOOR CLOSES.]
- Really? - Yeah, really.
He's 25.
I'm single.
Smoke 'em if you got 'em.
God! Please make that cake go away! Um, can you take this downstairs to the kitchen and ask them to turn it into some trifles? - [CASINO ATTENDANT.]
Right away.
- What's a trifle? Oh, it's like mashed-up cake with berries, custard, and cream.
Unless you want them to turn it into a penis cake.
[EXHALES.]
Give us the room, please.
Thank you so much.
Thank you.
Thank you.
- Look - [DOOR CLOSES.]
all we need for a good party is alcohol, drugs, and good people.
- And we've got all of those.
- I didn't get any drugs.
Well, I did.
From the valet.
It's all sorted.
You didn't have to do that.
Well, it's my party, too, you know.
And it's the first time we're hosting together.
It's exciting.
These producers I invited tonight, they're they're legends.
Donn Arden.
Jeff Kutash.
David Saxe.
Who, by the way, is still in high school and is somehow already a name in this town.
Well, maybe they should make a little room for the new kid on the block.
They were at the gift shop.
I bought ten.
My hair looks terrible.
[LAUGHS.]
You're bonkers.
You look very handsome.
And you're on the cover.
So I don't know why I'm so nervous.
I I've thrown a million parties, but I don't know these people, and this isn't my house, and I don't have I I don't recognize half the names on the guest list.
Okay.
I love meeting new people.
- Uh-huh.
- [RHONDA.]
And I love parties.
And I love you.
[ROMANTIC INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC PLAYING.]
I thought you weren't sure if you wanted to.
Well, I want to.
[CHUCKLES.]
[LAUGHS.]
- [BOTH PERFORMING VOCAL EXERCISE.]
- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa I got you flour-s.
Get it? Like, flour-s.
Like, instead of flowers, I got you flours.
Like, each individual grain of flour You're the sexiest nerd I've ever met.
[ARTHIE.]
Thank you.
[BOTH GIGGLE.]
Who sent those? You got a man? Oh, no, those are from Randy.
So, really, they're from my ex-husband masquerading as my baby.
Ernest sent me a box of See's Candy.
No card, but I know it's him.
Angel.
Hey.
You see this? [DEBBIE.]
Are you kidding me? I set up this whole photo shoot.
I think they took a million pictures of both of us.
[SAM OVER INTERCOM.]
Ladies, hello.
Hello, Gorgeous Ladies of GLOW.
It's opening night.
And And listen, you know, I just wanna [CLEARS THROAT.]
I just wanna say that, uh, you you've all worked very hard - [SWITCHES INTERCOM OFF.]
- Well, I did wanna say something [TAKES A DEEP BREATH.]
to all of you.
Um Ooh! I wasn't sure that we could, uh, bounce back after this morning.
What happened this morning? - The Challenger.
- [REGGIE.]
Oh, my God.
I forgot about it too.
- Oh, it's official.
We're assholes.
- [DEBBIE.]
No, no, no.
You were professionals.
You were sad.
But you pulled it together and you did your jobs.
And tonight, thanks to your hard work I I'm sorry, I'm sorry! Can Can we just take a moment of silence? We're so lucky to all be here together.
I know we're not acknowledging anything in the show, but can we have a moment? Is that okay? - [CHERRY.]
Yeah.
- Sure.
[SIGHS.]
[UNDER BREATH.]
Okay.
[SIGHS.]
- Sorry, I need to put these somewhere.
- Shh! - Bash doesn't want balloons at the - Shh! - [DAWN.]
Shh! - Oh.
We're having a moment of silence for the Challenger.
Oh, shit.
Sorry.
Um, you can just put them in here.
[MELROSE.]
What's his problem with balloons? Oh, no, no! Just Just leave 'em.
Um, they float about, and floating reminds him of the astronauts.
That makes sense.
[TAKES A DEEP BREATH.]
[REGGIE GIGGLES.]
- Stop.
Come on, be respectful.
- I'm respectful.
[SHRIEKING AND GIGGLING.]
[CHERRY.]
Shh! [SHRIEKING AND GIGGLING CONTINUING.]
[OPTIMISTIC INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC PLAYING.]
[GIGGLING AND EXCITED CHATTER.]
Alan, looking great.
Pal-ing with Alan.
Kutash, I want comps to Splash, all right? I wanna feel the water on my face.
Okay.
Hey, looking good.
What the fuck is going on with your hair? I love this town, I love my wife.
How the girls doing, huh? Uh, they're good.
I think they're good.
I gave 'em a big pep talk.
- Great.
- I think it was my best pep talk.
- I think they're gonna do great.
- Hey! - Oh, hi.
- All right.
[CHUCKLES.]
- Good evening.
Hi, there.
- [BASH.]
Hi.
God, I love opening nights.
- You're a little underdressed.
- Well, I can't fucking watch.
Too many Too many cues and costume changes.
I'll be out at the bar.
Is that your husband, or grandfather, or Gentlemen, this is Bernie Rubenstein.
Bernie Rubenstein, director and choreographer of Rhapsody? [QUIETLY.]
The longest running show at the Fan-Tan.
- [IN NORMAL VOICE.]
What an honor.
- Bernie can't really hear much.
- [LOUDLY.]
What an honor! - [SANDY.]
He never misses an opening night.
He's a good-luck charm.
[LOUDLY.]
Isn't that right, Bernie? What is this show again? It's lady wrestlers.
You're gonna love it.
Oh! I used to wrestle in high school, you know.
[DAWN, AS EDNA.]
Hi! Here we are! The showgirls have arrived! Hey! You know, they used to call me "the slot machine," but they put me out of commission, 'cause they said my slot was too loose.
- Hey! - Cha-ching, cha-ching, cha-ching! - [LAUGHTER.]
- Can't keep anything in there.
- [LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE.]
- [DAWN.]
Man, I'd love to be a call girl, - [STACEY.]
Really? - [DAWN.]
but I can't figure out how to use the answering machine.
- [BOTH.]
Oh! - [AUDIENCE LAUGHS.]
[STACEY.]
They asked me to be a lady of the night.
- But I can't stay up past 6:00 p.
m.
- [BOTH.]
Oh! [DAWN.]
You know, they call me an old bird, but, really, I'd prefer the early bird, if you know what I mean! [COMEDY ROUTINE CONTINUING INDISTINCTLY.]
[AUDIENCE CHEERS AND APPLAUDS.]
Are you ready? I guess.
- It's been a weird day.
- [BASH.]
And, in this corner, - at a combined weight of 227 pounds - [AUDIENCE BOOING.]
[DOOR OPENS.]
[SAM.]
Whoa! - Holy shit.
- [RUTH LAUGHS.]
Really? It's okay? Sheila got it for me at the lost-and-found.
And you ruined it.
I mean, I don't need to know that.
Now I'm thinking about how it got there.
- You look nice, too.
- [SAM.]
Hmm.
Thank you.
Wanna have a drink before we go up? [CLICKS TONGUE.]
Fine.
Well, just come in and watch me have a drink, then.
Come on.
I got you an opening-night card.
- [RUTH.]
You did? - No.
But I thought about it for a few seconds.
Would've been good.
[LAUGHS.]
[SAM.]
Okay.
That's too much.
[SAM.]
All right.
You know, don't finish it, all right? Cheers.
Wow, what a day.
The worst.
You know, when I was making my first movie, Robert Kennedy was shot.
- Oh! - Yeah, it was awful.
We were all, you know, covered in fake blood and we You know, what do you do? We We kept working.
My dad was watching the launch today with his whole class.
- Science? - Yeah.
- Oh! - Eighth graders.
[SAM.]
Mmm! Those kids all watched that happen in real time.
Did you, uh, call him? My dad? No.
No.
I knew I'd fall apart if I heard his voice.
Had to make it through the day.
We did.
We're still here.
You wanna go to the party? Yeah, you bet.
- Wow, that's a great dress.
- Thank you.
You guys roommates now? - Nope.
- [CHUCKLES.]
Just having a little pre-party drink.
- I have a lot of social anxiety.
Yeah.
- Mm-hmm.
[ELEVATOR BELL DINGS.]
[CHERRY.]
Hold the elevator! Thank you.
This is lovely.
Gonna be so Oh, you look great.
- [CHERRY.]
Look at you! - [SAM.]
Look at you.
[STACEY.]
Oh, my God, this is gonna be so much fun.
[EXCITED CHATTER.]
Hold it, hold it, hold it! Thank you! - Hey, Zora! - Wow! - [MELROSE.]
Oh, this old thing? - [LAUGHTER AND EXCITED CHATTER.]
Tell me, when will you be mine? [MELROSE.]
Hurry up! Tell me, quando, quando, quando What are you doing down here? I ran down so I could ride up with you guys.
[ALL.]
Awww! All right, let me out.
Just I can't take it.
Seriously.
- I'm gonna I'm taking the stairs! - Sam, come on.
We can fit! [INDISTINCT CHATTER.]
Tell me, quando, quando, quando Penthouse.
Going up.
You mean happiness to me Oh, my love, please tell me when Every moment's a day Every day seems a lifetime Let me show you the way To a joy beyond compare I can't wait a moment more Tell me, quando, quando, quando