Good Behavior (2016) s02e07 Episode Script

Don't Thank God, Thank Me

1 I'm Carin with a "C.
" - We need to be friends.
- [GLASSES CLINK] What you really want is revenge on the FBI.
You raid that money before the FBI does.
We'll do all the work for you.
[SHOUTING IN SPANISH] I'm gonna pick up Jacob, and then you want to steal $50,000.
We don't have a choice.
Suddenly you have a rich grandmother I never heard of.
So? - How much? - $50,000.
You're getting to be a very good player.
You're pretty good, too.
- [GUN COCKS] - Ow! - [GUNSHOT] - Aah! [DOOR CLOSES, LOCK CLICKS] [LOWERED VOICE] You let all the wrong people stay alive.
[LOWERED VOICE] I should have killed him in front of Jacob? [SIGHS, SCOFFS] This was a mistake.
From day one.
[LIGHTS CLICK OFF] [DOOR UNLOCKS] Shit.
[SIGHS] I thought you were a bad guy.
So it's the middle of the night.
I guess sometimes you just need to talk to your mom, no matter what time it is.
So I'm your mom again? You betrayed me.
I didn't betray you.
I protected you.
At least I tried to.
Nice try.
I knew what I was doing.
We had rules.
You think making rules means they're gonna get followed? What magazine you read that in? Look, I'm not I'm not here to I need to ask you for something.
Jacob should be with you.
[EXHALES] - [CRYING] - Don't worry.
- [SOBS] - I barely touched his room.
[SNIFFLING] Rob put an exercise bike in there, but we can wheel it out, no problem.
- I keep picturing this life in my head - Mm-hmm.
You know, where the three of us are this happy family, and it just never works.
"The three of us"? Javier is in the car with Jacob.
So you found a loophole for your hit man.
He's not Look, we all do bad things.
Mom.
Mom.
It's not Javier over Jacob.
I shouldn't be with either of them.
I shouldn't be with anybody.
I'll have Rob go move the exercise bike.
- All right, come on.
- [DOG BARKS] Come on.
Get in.
Get in.
Go to your mom.
Jacob, sit here.
Sit down.
I want only good things for you, Jacob.
And I want you to be safe.
Especially safe.
I love you too much to let anything bad happen to you ever again.
I know.
So it's probably better for me here just childhood-wise.
Right.
JACOB: But I had fun with you.
Yeah.
I had fun with you, too.
And we'll have fun again one day.
Not tomorrow.
[VOICE BREAKING] No, not tomorrow.
[CRYING] You'll have fun with Fred.
[CRYING, SNIFFLING] Thanks for getting him for me.
Make sure to feed him.
I will.
Come on, Jacob.
[ SNIFFLES ] I love you, baby.
I know.
I love you, too.
Hard time forgiving Even harder forgetting Before you do something You might regret, friend Bricks are caving in Oh, how sweet this sin I left you the keys You won't let me in Hard time forgiving Even harder forgetting Before you do something Celebrate! Good times! Come on! - [CORK POPS] - Whoo! [LAUGHS] Where's Christian? He's taking a night class at The Learning Annex.
I'm already considering annulment.
What's wrong with you two? - Nothing.
- [GLASS THUDS] - Can we go? - Pump the brakes, sweetheart.
Gotta make sure it's all there.
- It's all there.
I counted it.
- Yeah, so did I.
As if I'm gonna trust Bonnie and Clyde.
Gonna count every dollar, and if there's a penny less than 500 grand You'll what? Make us rob another drag club? Chanté, you stay.
One hundred I think my vision gets really bad when I'm with you.
Worse than it already is.
Yours does, too.
It gets down to this little point where all we can see is each other.
And it feels really good to have someone look at you like that.
But it means we can't actually see anything else around us or anyone around us.
We do all this damage, and we don't care or notice because it's in our What do you call it? Peripheral.
Yeah.
How much time is there? Before the sun is gone Want anything? Crying in our palms And I put my white flag in the wind And I feel it in the underflow I feel it in the underflow I feel it in the underflow And we miss each other in the dark Like ships in the night And I cried a puddle Deep into the valley of shoulder blades And I breathe smoke into the sky To let love know I'm getting high There'll be no rest tonight WOMAN ON RECORDING: Today, I feel good.
I am glad to be alive.
I live by my positive choices.
Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba! I trust my heart to you I trust my heart to you Nate.
San Pellegrino with lime? - Still your drink? - Still my drink.
Let me get you a napkin.
I am on my good behavior I-I-I swear my heart MAN: Thanks for calling the Resort at Blue Crest.
- How may I direct your call? - Room 613, please.
[LINE RINGS] [BEEP] [ELEVATOR BELL DINGS] 724, please.
[PHONE RINGS] I am on my good behavior Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba! [KNOCK ON DOOR] MAN: Ms.
Beaumont? Ms.
Beaumont, your office sent some papers for you to sign.
[SOUTHER ACCENT] Just slide them under the door, please.
1121, please.
[PHONE RINGS] [BEEP] [BEEPING, LOCK CLICKS] [LIGHTER CLICKS] [EXHALES DEEPLY] [AUDIENCE LAUGHING ON TV] Hey.
You're at home? You alone? [CHEWING] [UTENSIL CLATTERING] I forgot how good Cap'n Crunch is.
Uh, she also has, uh Lucky Charms and Cinnamon Toast Crunch.
[UTENSIL CLATTERS] Why do you keep looking at your laptop? I'm not.
Is that porn? [SCOFFS] What is this? Is this a book? You're writing a book? It's a short story.
I'm taking a class.
This is about me.
- What? No, it's not.
- It's totally about me.
"Her hands swept over the display, snatching up the emerald earrings in one fluid motion, like an eagle snatching a salmon.
" - It's not a great metaphor.
- Uhh People don't want to think about eagles when they're reading about me.
It's a simile, and it's not about you! "And that's when she found the body, skin flayed, hanging from the ceiling of the wine cellar.
" What is this? - What's the matter with you? - It's a work in progress! Lisa Dobesh is a very blah name.
Just call her Letty.
- [CUP CLATTERS] - Why are you here? Because I'm awesome, and I make your life more awesome.
- Mm-hmm.
- Why are you here? Where's Javier? - [SIGHS] - Where's Jacob? [VOICE BREAKS] I took him back to my mom's.
Oh, shit.
[CRYING] [FOOTSTEPS CIRCLING] [CRYING] It's fine.
I'm better on my own.
And, yet, here you are.
[CRYING] No, I I was just thinking about how much fun we had when we robbed that hotel together.
We got caught by the FBI.
I only got caught because you got caught.
I only got caught because you convinced me to rob a hotel, so I love you, Letty.
Mm.
I know.
Because, yes, you do bring awesomeness into people's lives, but If you're feeling, I don't know, uh, lonely right now maybe robbing a hotel with your former parole officer shouldn't be plan "A.
" [SIGHS] You used to be fun.
Marriage has changed you.
Mm-hmm.
You need friends.
You're my friend.
I know, but you need more than one friend.
Make another one! A non-user, non-hit man, maybe only mildly crazy friend.
Where? On Facebook? Maybe go somewhere where you might actually make good decisions.
Where you won't be so Where's the last place you felt safe? Maybe even settled a little? That might be the right place to make a friend.
Congrats on the wedding.
You got me a Mont Blanc pen? And I didn't even know you were trying to be a writer.
Thanks? But, seriously, you should change her name to Letty.
I'll think about it.
And her handbag should be a quilted leather Chanel.
[DOOR CLOSES] [TYPING] [HORN HONKS IN DISTANCE] [CART CLATTERING] [BAG RUSTLING] [BEEP] [SIGHS] If you scream, I'll drive my elbow into your esophagus.
[GROANS] [GROANS] I'm not the screaming type.
I forgot to hit the button on the A/C.
And then this crazy heat wave Global fucking warming, huh? You must be thirsty.
[LIQUID SPLASHING] [SPEAKING SPANISH] - [THUD] - [GRUNTS] [GROANS] Why? Why did you kill Silk? His haircut.
[THUD] [EXHALES] Why did you try to kill me? You really haven't figured it out yet? Hmm? Mm.
[EXHALES SHARPLY] [MUFFLED GRUNTING] [HEAVY BREATHING] WOMAN'S VOICE: Your call has been forwarded to an automated voice-messaging system.
- [BEEP] - Call me back.
I need to talk to you.
[BIRDS CHIRPING] [KEYS JINGLING] [LOCK RATTLES, DOG BARKING] I told the owner you disappeared.
Carin.
- Hi.
- Mary Catherine put the listing back up, and it rented out in no time.
I went out on a limb for you.
Way out.
I got Michael that interview at Cedarwood, and then, poof, he disappeared.
I'm sorry.
Christmas got complicated.
Okay, and you couldn't have called? Or texted me back? I mean, we were friends.
At least, I thought we were.
I'm sorry, Carin.
Mary Catherine wanted to sell all of your stuff on Craigslist, but I put it in my garage because I am a good friend.
You're right.
I'm sorry.
But we went on this trip with my mom, and everything got out of hand.
Emile? Yeah.
Did he cheat on you? Yeah.
Oh, my God.
I am so sorry, honey.
Right.
Should've seen it coming.
I knew he was bad from day one.
I totally get it.
You tell yourself that he's gonna change or it'll get better that little slut math tutor will leave for grad school in the fall.
[CRYING] Sorry, are you okay? [CRIES] Yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
I know what you're going through.
All too well.
Eric, as you know, is also a colossal cheating asshole.
[SNIFFLES] And, um I decided that I wasn't gonna ignore it anymore.
- Good for you.
- Thank you.
After the camping trip, I thought I had gotten even or that would be enough, but all it did was make me realize that I am married to someone that I kind of hate, so I hired a lawyer, and I filed for divorce.
Well, I hope you get everything.
Actually, I can't even get inside my own house.
- What? - Eric took Apple to Liberty Mountain on a ski trip this morning and changed the locks on me when I was in sunrise yoga.
No, he can't do that.
Well, he did do that.
He's obviously in revenge mode.
I mean, locking me out of my own house? I I was gonna call the locksmith, but I don't want it getting out.
Does your garage have one of those keypad entry things? Yeah, but I tried it, and he changed the code.
Let's go.
[BEEPING] [WHIRRING] How did you know how to do that? It's a universal code.
I spent a lot of my 20s losing my keys.
Please, please, please, please be unlocked! And I will fall I will fight [GASPS] Thank God! Don't thank God.
Thank me.
My vagina can finally breathe! Those yoga pants are bullshit.
Can I dump out these books? Yeah, we're just gonna donate those.
What do you want that gross thing for? For Eric's nice things.
Somebody I love I'll be bad but I'll be with somebody I love I will feel and I will fall I will take and I'll be good I was saved and I'll be dead I'll be back and I'll be there I'll be down, I'll be up - Carin? - Yes? - I'll be strong - [TOILET FLUSHES] And I'll be false I'll be bad, but I'll be with somebody I love Oh that was a failed attempt at spicing up our marriage.
Now Mr.
Glass just lives on the shelf.
- "Mr.
Glass"? - Because he's made of glass, and he reminds me Samuel L.
Jackson.
- [BUZZING] - Huh.
Makes sense.
Can we take your car? Where are we going? Pawn shop.
[MUFFLED SCREAMING, KICKING] I thought you weren't the screaming type? [MUFFLED SOBBING] - [GRUNTS] - [SIGHS] [HEAVY BREATHING] Mm! [MUFFLED SCREAMING] [ZIPTIE TIES] You have learned a lot from my father.
Always send someone else to do the dirty work.
[SPEAKING SPANISH] [GULPING] [GASPS, EXHALES] - [CUP CLATTERS] - [EXHALES DEEPLY] You know, it's funny.
[SIGHS] My father wants me dead because I am a hit man.
So, he hires a hit man you.
And you go and hire another hit man.
I killed Silk myself.
Highlight of my year.
[SIGHS] [DANCE MUSIC PLAYING] [LAUGHTER] Oh, my God! Uncle Jav! - Hey! Hey! - I didn't know you were coming! Did Mom forgive you? I guess so.
Happy birthday! - [LAUGHS] - Uncle Jav! - Hey! - Hey! Holy shit, thank you for getting - rid of that Teo guy.
- Oh, yeah.
Whatever you said to him when Mom picked us up, it worked.
I'm glad he's not bothering you anymore.
- Wait, did you bring Letty? - Yeah.
We need her music expertise, like, right now.
This dumb D.
J.
hasn't even heard of Run the Jewels.
Letty and I are on a break right now.
Letty was like our 10-year-plan/spirit animal.
- Where's your mom? - Over there somewhere.
Okay.
[INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS] Sneak around the punch and see if you smell any alcohol.
Yes, ma'am.
[SPEAKING SPANISH] What? I'm busy.
Teo was supposed to help me, but he disappeared.
- - The other night, I was playing soccer with Letty's son.
Jacob is 11.
After soccer, we got into the car, and Teo was in the back seat.
Now, you don't have to believe me.
Ask Teo yourself.
You can keep the change.
[INSTRUMENTAL VERSION OF "MI VIDA LOCA" PLAYING] What's wrong with you? You have revenge cash and alcohol.
Sorry.
This is the entrance song to our wedding.
It was Eric's request.
Seriously, don't worry about Eric right now.
What if he's taking Apple on black diamonds? No talk of husbands or kids.
I'm sorry.
I just can't get them out of my mind.
It's, like, even if I'm not talking about them, I'm still thinking about them, you know? Yeah, but remember Camping Carin? All she wanted was molly and some college dick.
Do you know where she is? The woods? She's at the bottom of that drink.
You're right.
[CLEARS THROAT] Let's go to "Margaritaville.
" It always surprises me when rich people love Jimmy Buffett.
It's, like, stop trying to live this weird, blue-collar fantasy.
Just get box seats for Springsteen already.
- Mm-hmm.
- Come on.
Tequila, please.
Two more.
[GASPING BREATHS] [SPEAKING SPANISH] You killed the father of my girls, and then you tried to buy them off with jewelry.
I had no choice.
You have no spine.
Okay, Javi.
Okay.
Do you need to hear anything more from him? [SIGHS] PRECIOUS PARIS: We talkin' big money shit No money ain't a pride We talkin' big money shit No money ain't a pride We talkin' big money shit No money ain't a pride - We talkin' big money shit - We talkin' Cribs, whips, and high fashion Fuck the cash on the matrix Four-fifth that Magnum 'Kay, shit has to get crackin' Black rims, black trims, black diamonds, black Tims Bebe, spiked heels, Giorgio, lambskins Corner to corner, mentions I'm the owner R8 in the driveway Are you from Miami? How'd you know? Showing off, I'm gonna Nice lips, thick hips Giving I bone her, beans raddle Where are we going? You're buying an eight ball from that guy.
Just give me your pawnshop money.
My leisure the proves, Supia, I never lose Two boats, three machines, Lambos [SONG CONTINUES, MUFFLED IN DISTANCE] [SNORTING] [SNORTING] - Oh, my God.
- What? - This is shitty coke.
- [SNORTS] - Just give - I don't feel anything.
Just give it a minute.
Let me get I need another.
[SNORTS] [EXHALES] Okay.
Better.
Oh, my God! This lighting is genius! I got to get a photo for Instagram.
Hey, ladies! Ladies, Instagram! Get together.
The lighting in here It's amazing.
We got to get a photo.
Come on.
All right, everybody in.
Here.
Take a photo, take a photos.
[CHEERING] [LAUGHING] - Oh, my God.
Where's my phone? - It's right here.
Oh.
You took a photo with it.
[LAUGHS] Thank you! Where the hell my phone? Where the hell my phone? Where the hell my Where the hell my phone, huh? How I'm 'posed to get home? Okay, 2:15 the lights come on Pfft! Where my phone? Lookin' around like, "Where my phone?" Lookin' where my homies went Where the hell my homies went? Where the hell my homies went? [SHOUTING, VOICES ECHO] MAN: We've got multiple reports of illegal drugs in this establishment Give me this.
[CROWD SHOUTING] Come on, let's go.
[SPEAKING SPANISH] No.
That's not who you are.
I grew up with you.
I know you.
That's the kindest thing you do for me.
You let me see myself through your eyes.
You should go to bed.
- I'll stay and clean up.
- No.
You're not going back to that motel.
Leave him to starve.
Okay.
But still you should go to bed.
My friend Sabrina was asking all these questions about if you're single.
[SIGHS] And I wasn't sure how to answer.
Yeah, don't listen to her.
Sabrina's 17.
And Javier has Letty.
No, he doesn't.
You didn't tell her? Letty and I aren't together right now.
Oh I'm sorry to hear that.
I liked Letty.
Yeah, so did I.
SOFIA: Totally blows.
It does blow.
All right, come on.
Okay.
Go.
Go, go, go! - Oh! - [GLASS SHATTERS] [LOWERED VOICE] Carin, get the hell up! - Now! - Wait! Wait, wait! - Carin.
- Mr.
Glass! [POLICE RADIO CHATTER] - Wait.
- Shit! [INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS] Oh, my God.
Ma'am, were you in the club just now? Ma'am? Ma'am? [VOMITS, SPITS] [MOANS] All right, come on.
- Come with me.
- [GASPING] [FOOTSTEPS DEPART] You wanna party? You, me, and Chrissy makes three.
[CELLPHONE VIBRATES] No, I'm good.
[POLICE RADIO CHATTER] - [CARIN BREATHING NERVOUSLY] - Excuse me, Officer.
- Why are you arresting her? - You know her? She's my cousin.
I've been waiting for you at that other bar for 20 minutes.
[SLURRING] I wasn't Wh-wh-what bar?! I caught her with a gram and a half of cocaine.
What?! No.
No, that doesn't sound like her.
Right? Exactly! That is so not me! That's not me! I'm sure.
It only makes sense after the news she just got.
She has early-onset Alzheimer's.
Just like that Julianne Moore movie.
Tonight's bad choices are the acts of a desperate woman making some memories before she forgets them all.
Look, I'm sure it's out of her system, so if you just let me take her home, officer, please? My mother has Alzheimer's.
She's never acted out like this.
I'm so sorry.
How she's doing? She's hanging in there.
Good care isn't cheap.
Sorry.
What's going on here? I'd put this at $45,000, at least.
That's, what, maybe six months of access to the best drug treatments out there.
I can't take a bribe.
It's not a bribe.
It's a gift.
And if you accept the gift, I'm sure Carin would appreciate it if you consider her emotional state, which you of all people should understand.
Here, use Mr.
Glass's balls.
[BOTH LAUGHING] Ah! What [BOTH LAUGH] At least it shattered inside your purse! Ohh! [LAUGHING] I wonder if I can put it in the recycling.
Glass is glass.
I can't remember the last time I stayed out all night.
I don't even think I did that in college.
Great night.
[SIGHS] This is the most fun I've had in a long time.
Thanks, Lindsey.
[WINE SLOSHES] My name isn't Lindsey.
I'm serious.
It's Letty.
I'm not some soccer mom who cares where her kid goes to school.
I tried to be, I wanted to be, but I'm a shitty mom who probably shouldn't even have custody.
My son is with my mom now, and that's probably where he should stay until he's 18.
And Javier That's his real name He didn't cheat on me.
We're just no good together.
I suck at a lot of things people are supposed to be good at.
But I'm pretty great at a lot of things you're not supposed to be good at.
I was wondering a little.
Especially after the watch.
Yeah.
A move like that is pretty typical for me.
I guess I thought I could fake being a mom like I fake everything else.
Last year, Apple's principal called because they caught her trying to start a fire in the bathroom.
So, I got in my car, and I drove to the school, and then I drove right past it.
I drove all the way to Savannah.
Got a bourbon and a toffee pudding, and I had them while I sat on the beach.
And then it eventually got dark, and I drove back.
What happened to Apple? Oh, Eric spoke to the principal and donated [SIGHS] a volleyball net or something, and he never mentioned it again.
Being a person isn't easy, but being a mother and a person That's hard.
We need more coke.
[LAUGHS] I saw a dealer near that nightclub.
Are you serious? Oh, I can't even stand up right now.
All I want to do is go to sleep.
You just said this was the most fun you've ever had.
Yeah, but now it's over.
[HUFFS] You can sleep in the guest room if you want.
Thanks.
I'll do that.
Don't forget all your stuff in the garage.
Uh-huh.
Whatever.
[CLATTERING] [RUSTLING] [DOG BARKING IN DISTANCE] [RUSTLING CONTINUES] [DOOR CLOSES] Carlos.
[SPEAKING SPANISH] [CELLPHONE VIBRATING] I knew you couldn't go too long without me.
Your humility is unparalleled.
Thanks.
Yeah, I've been thinking about you.
A-About what you said the other day.
I can't get it out of my head.
- Yeah? - Yeah.
I mean, when I finally took a step back, looked at the situation, it all became clear.
My main character is completely based on you.
I don't know why I couldn't see it.
I must've had some kind of mental block.
You're calling me about your short story? [VOICE FADING] You said she should have a quilted leather Chanel bag.
Now, what other kind of details would you add? ["LET IT DOWN" BY EDWARD SHARPE AND THE MAGNETIC ZEROES PLAYS] The dawn Fixed behind a curtain Two fingers of satin Spun in the moonlight Playing the air No home Spinning In the sunlight Remember us laughing On acid Let it down Let it heal from memories You, me, and Chrissy makes three.
'Member you, 'member me, 'member love, memories Memories