Good Girls (2018) s01e06 Episode Script
A View from the Top
1 Previously on "Good Girls" You ladies got passports? He wants us to pick up something for him in Canada.
- We just need a car.
- We should just borrow a car.
- What's going on? - It's the craziest thing.
We got hit.
You guys, they know about the car.
- Who are you? - We're the volunteers.
Oy, Gloria.
- Are you ever not pregnant? - [BOTH LAUGH.]
- Oh! - [LAUGHTER.]
Because if kids like you all are our future, God help us all.
I'll go clean out my locker.
- What did Stan say? - I can't tell Stan.
I got to get something else going first.
- Where's your uniform? - I left it at work.
Your daughter had a seizure.
Her kidney's basically nonfunctioning.
We have a business proposition to clean your fake money.
Let us do it right here.
Fake money in, real money out.
You want all this back on a card? Cash is fine.
Morning, Mrs.
Boland.
- You know this guy? - Uh, no.
I have cancer.
[ELLE KING'S "WHERE THE DEVIL DON'T GO".]
Devil don't go where I make my home So with the high PSA and the biopsy, it's cancer in your prostate.
There's no question.
[RADIO CHATTER.]
There are so many treatment options these days external radiation, chemo.
We even do robotic assisted surgery, if that's something you want to consider.
How much is all of this gonna cost? [RADIO CHATTER.]
Sir.
It's a mean world That I've known Now you'll find me where the devil don't go I'll see you after the exam.
Where the devil don't go [RADIO CHATTER.]
[TOW TRUCK WHIRRING.]
[DOOR SHUTS.]
Couldn't make it sound a little more serious? It's cancer.
- Cadillac? - Buick.
- New? - New to you.
Cast me down where the devil don't go Devil don't go where I make my home Cast me down where the devil don't go Devil don't go where I make my home Fresh dressed like a million bucks Threw on the Bally shoes and the fly green socks Stepped out the house, stopped short - Oh, no - I went back in I forgot my Kango - So then I dilly - ALL: Dally - I ran through - ALL: An alley I bumped into my old girl ALL: Sally from the Valley This is a girl playing hard to get So I said what's wrong, 'cause she looked upset BOTH: Now what was I to do She's crying over me And she was feeling blue I said, uh, don't cry BOTH: Dry your eyes Here comes your mother With those two little guys Her mean mother stepped up - Said to me - ALL: Hi Looked Sally in the face And decked her in the eye Punched her in the belly And stepped on her feet Slammed the child on the hard concrete BOTH: Boom.
[MIMICS GUNSHOTS.]
Heels in the fat.
[ROLLS TONGUE.]
[BOTH LAUGHING.]
That was awesome.
You want some breakfast? - [SIGHS.]
- I could put on a movie.
- "Secret Life of Pets"? - Yeah.
- Yeah? - Yeah.
Maybe later.
Are you still okay to stay home with her? I'm at the diner all day.
What? Again? Yeah.
Tony hired some high school idiot that only lasted an hour, so.
See now, if I didn't know you like I do, I'd think something shady was going on.
Please.
As if.
Leaving early, coming home late.
All right.
Where'd you meet him? - He taller than me? - He's a little taller.
- [CHUCKLING.]
- Oh, and Harry's teacher wants to talk about his listening skills.
Okay, well, he's got none of those so that should go pretty quick.
Well, he gets it from you.
I'm sorry, did you say something? - [LAUGHS.]
Oh.
- Oh.
You're funny.
You should take that on the road.
Hey, look.
Don't burn yourself out, okay? We need you in one piece around here.
- Okay.
- All right, baby.
Bye.
- Here's your cut.
- This is nothing.
It's more than we had last month.
Sara's on home dialysis now.
Plus the new medicine.
This is barely gonna make a dent.
Ugh! You suck! My custody lawyer billed me for messaging her questions on Facebook.
Why would you think you wouldn't get billed for that? Because we're friends on Facebook.
I've never worked so hard for so little, and I worked a service job.
- [SIGHS.]
- I say we get out.
Are you serious? We're risking everything including our lives.
We barely see our families - and for what? - For the money.
It'd be one thing if we were making mad bank.
But this? This isn't mad bank, you guys.
I say we cut our losses now before we get caught.
Or shot.
[UPBEAT ELECTRONIC MUSIC.]
Hang your hat Hang your hat on this, hang your hat [SWING CREAKING.]
Please, stop that.
Guys, this place is so familiar.
I'm having, like déjà vu.
Oh, please, stop.
Okay.
- [SIGHS.]
- Just chill.
- It's gonna be fine.
- [SCOFFS.]
How do you figure, Ruby? We just tell them the job wasn't for us - and that we're moving on.
- Right, yeah.
I'm sure he'll be totally cool with that.
We didn't sign a contract.
Dude, we've been laundering fake money for a street gang.
So? So it's not a college internship.
We can't be like, "Thanks, bye, I learned so much.
" There is no getting out.
Out of what? We've, um We've been thinking.
[CLEARS THROAT.]
Just about, you know, your whole operation and our small role in it.
And we've learned so much.
But it's not working for us.
How so? We need more.
- [WHISPERING.]
What? - We've been clearing about, what? 100 grand every few weeks for you? We're gonna need five times that amount to turn a profit and make it worth our time.
You wanna clean 500 Gs? We can do it.
- [SOFTLY.]
Can we? - You don't get more time.
It's not a problem.
[SOFTLY.]
It isn't? Go big or go home, right? Brought that mama van with you? Load 'em up.
Go big or go home? I don't know, it's something Kenny's coach always says.
Yeah, when he says it, he means home as in your house, not the big house.
Okay.
What were you thinking? I was thinking about our future.
We didn't come all this way to just quit.
I robbed a grocery store.
I didn't do it for nothing.
God, when did you get so cool? You guys, we can do this.
We just need some extra hands.
You want to bring other people into this now? We've got a system that works.
If we could just do it on a bigger scale.
- What if they get caught? - They won't.
We haven't.
This cash is that good.
So what? I just ask Harry's Spanish teacher if she wants a side hustle? I mean, she probably does.
Teachers make next to nothing.
We know tons of women who could use extra cash.
This isn't Mary Kay.
You can't just serve a bitch a mini-muffin and invite her to join you in a life of crime.
What if they didn't know it was a crime? [LIVELY INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC.]
So what's a secret shopper? Well, stores hire companies like the ones we work for to send in people to pretend to be shoppers.
That way they can tell how good or bad the customer service is.
- Mini-muffin? - Yes.
So you'll pay us to buy a bunch of stuff and then return it? They're mostly interested in the customer experience.
So every time you make a return, you feel out a survey and you get paid.
It's that easy.
[LAUGHS.]
Crazy, right? [CHUCKLES AWKWARDLY.]
So crazy.
How long does a survey have to be? Oh, that's entirely up to you.
Do we get reimbursed for mileage? - Good question.
- I will definitely bring that up with corporate.
- [MOUTHING "CORPORATE?".]
- Well, I, uh, I have to ask my husband.
Oh, Henry will freak if this takes me away from the kids.
- I should talk to mine too.
- No, no.
No, no.
- Mine, too.
- It's called secret shoppers.
- Got to stay secret.
- And, you guys, this isn't about your husband or your kids.
I mean I get it.
You feel like you've got to put everyone in front of you, right? But you don't.
We are giving you an opportunity to make your own money.
To do something just for yourself.
This is about being a strong, independent woman.
I'm I'm not a woman.
I think you guys are getting a little - caught up in the details.
- Yeah.
I don't have all the answers, but I will tell you this.
Ever since I started this, my perspective has changed entirely.
- Ain't that the truth.
- You guys, we're in this together.
I mean, when women support other women, incredible things happen.
Plus the shopper of the year gets a new Corvette.
- What? - BOTH: A Corvette? Why didn't you say that? [EXCITED CHATTER.]
Oh, they'll never remember.
[INDISTINCT CHATTER.]
[LAUGHTER.]
It's, uh, Agent Turner, right? - Jimmy.
- You in the market? 'Cause we got some sweet deals.
What are you driving now? An unmarked government-issued sedan.
[LAUGHING.]
Well, that's that's no fun.
Go ahead and take a ride.
The bureau doesn't like flashy.
I'm pretty sure that J.
Edgar Hoover used to rock a feather boa.
All right, well, so what can I help you with? Well I'm hoping we can help each other.
Cops found that SUV you reported stolen.
They did? Where? Bottom of Cedar Lake.
Hm.
Was there an accident? - No.
- [CHUCKLES.]
Who steals a car to sink it? I have no idea.
- You know who might though? - Who? Your wife.
Maybe we should step into your office, Mr.
Boland.
[LUNCH BAG CRINKLING.]
[TELEVISION PLAYING.]
That better not be Halloween candy, mister.
My science teacher says that chocolate's good for the heart.
- Ready, Mama! - What's with you and pants? Are you just morally opposed to pants? - Are you on a pants strike? - No pants! - Where are my shin guards? - Probably in dad's car.
Dad? - Dean? - [SNAPS FINGERS.]
- Huh? - Shin guards.
- [LAUGHTER.]
- Oh, uh, I'll look.
You feeling okay? What's on tap for you today? Carpool, cleaners, grocery store.
The usual.
Is that it? - It's tuna fish BOTH: Keep it in the fridge.
Yeah.
All right, everyone, let's go, let's go! Emma! Hey, hey, hey! Knock it off.
Thank you.
Have a fine and frugal day.
Ma'am, I'm ready if you are.
Oh, they never carry the mints I like.
Do I know you? - Uh, no, no, I'm not - Nana.
What are you doing here? I would have brought the ham salad to you.
- It is you.
- Oh, my God, it is.
I didn't know you worked with my Leslie.
She works for Social Services too.
Well, it's really more of a volunteer kind of a thing, you know, but She and all her friends cleaned my whole apartment.
Yeah.
I bet they did.
She's a very sweet girl, Leslie.
Oh, yeah.
Big heart, this one.
No, it's funny you didn't mention Fine and Frugal when you came over.
- Oh, uh - That is funny, Annie.
Now, why do you think that is? Hm.
Uh, I don't know, Leslie.
Maybe it's just because your Nana and I - had so much to talk about.
- Oh.
[CHUCKLES.]
For example, how is your fiancée, Jessica Alba? Oh, I showed her that beautiful picture.
Fine, yeah.
No, things are fine.
Yeah? Now, she's in LA though, right? Ugh.
Must be really tough, you know, the distance.
We make it work.
Glad to hear it.
You know, you left so abruptly that night, I was hoping you'd come back again.
Oh, I wanted to Marion.
Really, I just I've been so busy lately, you know? Yeah, Annie has a whole life outside of this store, Nana.
You would be real shocked.
It was just nice to have someone to talk to.
I mean, you can talk to me, Nana.
Oh, that's different, Leslie.
A woman needs the companionship of other women.
What about your friends, Marion? They're dead.
- Yo, Annie.
- Uh, yeah? You got a sec? Yeah, what up? I bought all the merchandise and filled out all the surveys.
- Just like you guys said.
- Okay? It was super chill and they didn't even know I was a secret shopper, just like you guys said.
Okay, great.
And then I went to return it all, just like you guys said.
And? What happened? Some of the stuff was stolen from my car.
But your windows aren't broken.
Oh, the locks are though.
Yeah.
Well, how much did they take, Tyler? Um, well, a lot.
Well, how much is a lot? Pretty much all of it.
We gave you $20,000.
Yeah.
[LAUGHS NERVOUSLY.]
You guys could just call corporate, right? I mean, this stuff must have happened to them before.
You know, they're probably insured for it.
You know, man, I generally think the best of people.
- He lost all of it? - Oh, yeah.
All gone.
So, this is for you.
- Remember her? - Uh, I'm sorry.
- What's this? - And this is - What are you doing? - For you.
Now, we're gonna need a sharpie.
- No, uh-uh, not happening.
- Because we can't have anymore of these pesky orange tippies poking through.
We are not robbing another store.
Or anymore little old ladies.
Well, I actually agree with that.
Marion came into the store earlier and it was like "Driving Miss Daisy" - only sadder.
- Okay, then.
So I figured we could rip off a check cashing place - because - We're not robbing anything! Fine.
We'll just stiff the gang.
Hey, do you guys know what happens when they need to dump your body in an oil drum? They soak you in lye, and they make you into soup.
And then the cops can't tell if you used to be a human or a large dog.
That's really not necessary.
Well, actually it is 'cause oil drums are real small.
Just waiting on suggestions over here.
- I have an idea.
- Oh, do you? - I do.
- Love to hear it.
We pay the gang back in full.
And how do we replace the 20 grand? We stiff our secret shoppers instead.
- We can't do that.
- At least we don't - end up in an oil drum.
- No, just prison when they report us for fraud.
Yeah, and it wouldn't be enough.
We would have to dip into our profits to cover it, and that would basically leave us back where we started.
- I am not going back there.
- Me either.
So - [SINGS SILLY MELODY.]
- Stop it! We don't need that.
Then how are we supposed to get the money back? We don't need the money.
We just need the merchandise.
[UPBEAT POP MUSIC.]
I can't be more of a baller Every day I'm ten feet taller I'm a soldier, move over I'm gonna throw you, I'll show you Got shade on me like a baller Every day I'm ten feet taller No, let me get in it, that's what she said No, let me get real, that's what he said I'm gonna fight Till it's right Set and done I am the one [KNOCKING ON WINDOW.]
Oh, my god.
My name is Randy.
I'm raising money for our school trip No, thanks.
Go away.
It's an opportunity for my class to visit our nation's capital.
And it's only $2 for a chocolate bar.
Okay, whatever.
Give me one.
Awesome, okay, it's three for $5 and six for $10.
- That's a way better deal.
- Okay, fine, give me six.
Wow.
Um, okay, what flavors do you want? - I have caramel, plain - Oh, my God.
- I literally do not care, Randy.
- Okay.
Uh.
You gave me nougat? Props to me, I'm a baller Every day I'm ten feet taller - [COUGHS.]
- I'm a fighter, I'm a rider What you do I do it to Got shade on me like a baller Every day I'm ten feet taller Thank you.
Let me get in, that's what she said No, let me get with it That's what he said I'm gonna fight Till it's right Set and done I am the one I hold my head high [ALARM BLARING.]
Oh! I'm sorry.
Is that me? I'm gonna have to see your receipt.
Yeah, okay.
Oh! You know what? I completely forgot that I tried that on.
Ah, there you go.
I'm gonna fly so high No limit no lie No woman, no man Let's go.
We got returns to make.
[DOOR CREAKS.]
How was the meeting? [RING CLATTERING.]
Mrs.
Rubin's on a tear about trans fats in the cafeteria again.
That woman needs a hobby.
[CHUCKLES SOFTLY.]
I know.
I'm gonna take a shower.
Maybe after you can tell me why you stole a car and ditched it in a lake.
Wanna sit down? No.
The FBI guy, he came back.
[CHUCKLES DULLY.]
- What did you tell him? - Uh, I told him that I cheated on my wife.
And [CLEARS THROAT.]
She freaked out so she took my car on a joyride and trashed it after she went on a mini Canadian shopping spree.
- Did he buy it? - Yeah, he did.
Oh, good.
I don't.
So What the hell were you doing? It's hard to explain.
How about you try? - I I - Were you smuggling drugs? I didn't know what it was.
How do you not know? You stole a car and went over the border with something illegal inside of it.
You you could go to prison for that.
We have kids.
We needed the money and we needed it fast! And I didn't know how else to get it.
Maybe you get a job.
It was a job! I meant, like, Panera or something.
Don't yell at me.
Sit down! Don't yell at me.
Sit down! Was it that bounce house guy? I mean, did he put you up to this? What? You know, those guys, they just they prey on good, innocent people.
They just rope them in.
I mean, is that what happened? Or That's exactly what happened.
I'm sorry I yelled at you.
But look.
Everything's gonna be fine.
- Okay.
- I'm gonna take care of this.
Nothing bad is going to happen to us.
Okay? Okay.
Just stay away from that guy.
Okay.
Dean.
Yeah? Thank you.
Hey, boo-boo.
- How are you doing? - Okay.
I brought Chinese.
Uncle Tony brought food.
- What? - [MUFFLED CHATTER.]
There you are.
- Hey, Tony.
- Hey.
Yeah, I heard about Sara being in the hospital.
Yeah, he brought enough food to feed a marching band.
Well, I feel terrible about everything.
That's so sweet.
If I had known what was going on - with your family - It's okay.
I would have never let you go.
Place isn't the same without you.
I told him not to worry, that you've been keeping yourself real busy.
I was gonna tell you as soon as I got another gig.
Ooh, surf and turf.
That's what I've been doing for the past few weeks.
Just, you know, looking for work all day long.
God, he really went all out.
I was so embarrassed that I blew a perfectly good gig that I couldn't tell you.
No fries? I'm sorry, babe.
I really am.
Why they got to be crinkle cut? Would you stop with the food, Stan? Ruby, what do you want me to say? I don't know.
Anything.
All right.
I don't believe a word that just came out of your mouth.
How about that? [SOFT GUITAR MUSIC.]
[CRYING, SNIFFLING.]
Is it me or the Salisbury steaks getting smaller? You're just not a little boy anymore.
[CHUCKLES.]
[TELEVISION PLAYING.]
Nana.
Where do you keep your money? Somewhere safe.
Well, you should think about a bank.
I mean, that's safer.
I don't trust banks.
Well, you know, I don't like you keeping a bunch of cash lying around.
You know, you live alone.
You got people coming in and out.
Medicare or whatever.
Bring these to work for Annie, will ya? - Seriously? - Well, her little girl loves oatmeal raisin, she said.
Well, yeah.
I like oatmeal raisin.
She's a single mom.
Did you know that? How she volunteers on top of it is beyond me.
Yeah, well, believe me.
She's no saint.
That's not very nice.
Yeah, well, she's not very nice! Okay? She's a loser.
Nana.
She is a loser and a liar and just a bad person.
Mildred had a magazine called "US Weekly.
" Jessica was in it.
There was a picture of her coming out of a gas station.
Apparently she's such a big movie star that people pay to see her coming out of the gas station.
Yeah, well, you know, I'm really proud of her.
They said she's married to a man named Cash Warren and has adorable children.
Honor and Haven.
It's a, uh It's a blended family situation.
She was never your fiancée, was she? It's I didn't want you to worry about me.
Well, I do.
You've always had trouble meeting people, and I always thought it wasn't your fault.
It's not.
[SIGHS.]
Oh, I love you, Leslie.
I do.
But Annie's not the loser here.
Turner! Hey! Jimmy! Hey, what's going on with the case? When are we gonna move on these bitches, man? [RATTLES DOORKNOB.]
Turner.
Jimmy.
Come on, buddy.
This thing is locked.
- Is this soundproof? - Sir.
Step away from the glass.
It's cool.
We actually work together.
Hey, can you, uh Wait.
Wait! - Jimmy! - You need to leave.
- But we work together.
- Now.
20 years of marriage, Stan has never looked at me like that.
Aw, honey, I'm so sorry.
Like, ever.
At least he doesn't know everything.
- Dean does.
- What? The FBI found the car, you guys.
- When? - I don't know.
But Dean covered for us.
Deansie covered for us? Well, then we're good.
He thinks I'm some naive idiot that got taken advantage of, so.
Of course he does.
So what are you gonna do about it? Let him think it.
How'd it go, ladies? It's all there.
$1/2 million.
Let me ask you something.
How do you not get caught? School ain't in session right now.
Hey, come on.
We just cleaned $1/2 million for you.
I flip my game.
- What does that mean? - It means I flip my game.
Uh, she knows all those words individually but not, like, in a row.
Say we talking herb.
Now, you can move nickel bags all day long.
Nickels move fast 'cause everybody knows the nickel bag man, right? That's why his dumb ass is always getting popped.
Now, the smart ones, they turn nickels into dimes.
Dimes gets you the pills.
And now you moving up the chain.
Before anybody knows what's going on you're onto TVs and whatnot.
And while they all got their back turned, I'm over here with a bunch of suburban bitches selling Monopoly money.
We'll see where that takes me.
Your cut.
- Count it.
- It's all there.
Trust me.
60 Gs.
We'll up your drop next time? Say 750.
- Why? - 'Cause you delivered.
[UPBEAT POP MUSIC.]
[WHISTLES.]
Just call us the mailman.
Why? 'Cause we deliver.
He just said it.
Can someone explain to me what flipping a game means? - I did not process a word of that.
- [LAUGHING.]
Not a word.
And then I was too embarrassed to ask again.
- Well, we can't ask again.
- No.
Oh, I used to get high in this park.
I have planned everything out.
I am also planning.
On? - Two more of these.
- Oh, whoop! Okay, well, mine is business plan.
- Oh.
- Ooh, watching CNBC once.
Six months - and we're out.
- Hm.
By then, we will have enough money for all of Sara's medication and any extra medical fees.
We will have more than enough for your custody lawyer and my bank accounts will be in the black.
And We will have a honeypot.
What's the honeypot for? We invest in something legit.
And that's our safety net.
So no matter what happens, we don't have to rob a grocery store again.
- [CHUCKLES.]
- Hey.
You know what you just did there? Uh, flipped our game? - Correctomundo.
- Yes, yeah.
Excuse me, can we get another round, please? - [SILLY VOICE.]
Yeah, can we? - Thank you very much.
Thank you.
Okay.
- Six months and out.
- Cheers.
Ooh, cheersies.
Cheers.
- Mmm.
- [SIGHS.]
You guys.
What am I gonna tell Stan? [SIGHS.]
I did something.
It was stupid and risky.
All right.
So stupid and risky you would have had my head examined which is why I couldn't tell you.
Well, that's not how this is supposed to go, you and me.
I know.
We handle what we got to handle.
I know.
So, here it is.
Are you ready? I started a business.
- Okay? - And I didn't want to tell you because I was afraid I'd fail.
I didn't fail.
I'm crushing it.
You made all this? I did.
Legitimately? Well, what's the business? Secret shopping.
It's very lucrative.
I I see that.
- How much is that? - Almost 20 grand.
- And that's yours.
- Well, it's ours.
Can I touch it? Go ahead.
Whoa.
That's heavy.
It's nice.
You can smell it too.
[SNIFFS.]
[EXHALES.]
Smells good.
- [LAUGHS.]
That's fresh.
- Yeah, it does.
- Smells better than our debt.
- Way better.
Do you know what we could do with this? Everything.
No, no, no.
Ring, ring, ring.
- Hello? - Uh, do you know what we could do with this? Everything.
Everything! [LAUGHING.]
Come here.
What? [EXHALES SLOWLY.]
Oh, my God.
[SNIFFS.]
I'm sorry.
I just can't.
[SNIFFS.]
I can't stop smelling it.
- Can't stop, won't stop.
- It's so good.
[SNIFFS.]
Hi! Oh, come on in.
Come on in.
I didn't know when you were coming back, so I started a little list of chores, and What's wrong? Um.
Look, Marion, I I'm not with Social Services.
Are you with Medicare? - No, um.
- Medicaid? No, Marion - Meals on Wheels? - Uh, I'm I'm not with anything helpful.
The truth is we came here to rob you 'cause we thought you'd be an easy target.
Um.
So I just wanted to, uh, return what we stole.
I, um, I couldn't find the little drummer boy so I got you the accordion player instead.
[CHUCKLES SOFTLY.]
Marion, I'm [CRYING.]
I'm really, really sorry.
Are you rushing off to your daughter? Uh, no, she's she's out of town with her dad.
Because Gloria had a baby.
I was gonna toast to her with some of Raymond's nice bourbon.
I'm sorry, just to be totally clear, you You understand that I stole from you, right? Did you have a good reason? I hate to drink alone.
[BOTH CHUCKLE.]
So what is this for Gloria? Four, five? - Six! - Six? [BOTH LAUGH.]
You're killing me, Gloria.
Darren.
Got a minute? Come on.
I swear I haven't been double bagging since you said not to.
Oh, good job.
That's good.
Uh, hey, what if I told you I was looking to, uh, party? Party? Oh, party supplies.
- Aisle nine.
- [CHUCKLING.]
Yeah, the thing is, I'm a little more interested in party favors.
Oh, they're also on aisle nine.
No.
Different kind of favor.
If you know what I mean? I I don't, Mr.
Petersen.
[CHUCKLES.]
Drugs, Darren.
Oh, cold and flu's aisle eight.
Listen.
I got your number, son.
All right? Nobody who bags groceries drives a Range Rover.
So unless you want me all over your business in the parking lot I suggest you hook a fella up.
I got cola, Tina, molly, oxy, K, addys, and fat bags of herb.
I'll take it.
What what do you mean? I'll I'll take all of it.
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC.]
Hey.
[TELEVISION PLAYING.]
Unbelievable.
My keys didn't work in the front door.
Uh, I had all the locks changed.
Hey, did you get milk? We're out.
Why'd you do that? I want you to feel safe in your own home.
Oh, and by the way, Fred from work, he's gonna close for me from now on.
Didn't he just have a baby? Twins.
They're super cute.
I just don't like the idea of you being home alone.
You don't have to come home early.
I just wish we could turn that bounce house guy in.
- He's not a bounce house guy.
- I know, but still.
And you can't turn him in.
Look.
He's not gonna mess with you anymore, all right? Not on my watch.
[LAUGHS.]
What's so funny? I mean, who says that? [DEEP VOICE.]
Not on my watch, young lady.
[LAUGHS.]
Dangerous people took advantage of you.
Yeah, yeah.
They took advantage of me.
I don't see anything funny about any of this.
How did they take advantage of me, Dean? Am I so naive and innocent? - I must be.
- I I never said that.
Must be dumb too.
Just a little lamb to the slaughter.
- I didn't say that.
- You didn't have to.
How little you must think of me.
They didn't take advantage of me.
It was a choice.
I wanted to.
And you have no idea what I have done or even who I am.
And that little wifey of yours who lived to make you dinner has left the building, and she is not coming back.
I mean, I'm sitting here watching [GROANS.]
What is this? Where where did this come from? Yeah, I did forget the milk.
Beth, what the hell is going on? And let Fred go back to his babies.
I'm not afraid of the dark.
[ROCK MUSIC BUILD-UP.]
- We just need a car.
- We should just borrow a car.
- What's going on? - It's the craziest thing.
We got hit.
You guys, they know about the car.
- Who are you? - We're the volunteers.
Oy, Gloria.
- Are you ever not pregnant? - [BOTH LAUGH.]
- Oh! - [LAUGHTER.]
Because if kids like you all are our future, God help us all.
I'll go clean out my locker.
- What did Stan say? - I can't tell Stan.
I got to get something else going first.
- Where's your uniform? - I left it at work.
Your daughter had a seizure.
Her kidney's basically nonfunctioning.
We have a business proposition to clean your fake money.
Let us do it right here.
Fake money in, real money out.
You want all this back on a card? Cash is fine.
Morning, Mrs.
Boland.
- You know this guy? - Uh, no.
I have cancer.
[ELLE KING'S "WHERE THE DEVIL DON'T GO".]
Devil don't go where I make my home So with the high PSA and the biopsy, it's cancer in your prostate.
There's no question.
[RADIO CHATTER.]
There are so many treatment options these days external radiation, chemo.
We even do robotic assisted surgery, if that's something you want to consider.
How much is all of this gonna cost? [RADIO CHATTER.]
Sir.
It's a mean world That I've known Now you'll find me where the devil don't go I'll see you after the exam.
Where the devil don't go [RADIO CHATTER.]
[TOW TRUCK WHIRRING.]
[DOOR SHUTS.]
Couldn't make it sound a little more serious? It's cancer.
- Cadillac? - Buick.
- New? - New to you.
Cast me down where the devil don't go Devil don't go where I make my home Cast me down where the devil don't go Devil don't go where I make my home Fresh dressed like a million bucks Threw on the Bally shoes and the fly green socks Stepped out the house, stopped short - Oh, no - I went back in I forgot my Kango - So then I dilly - ALL: Dally - I ran through - ALL: An alley I bumped into my old girl ALL: Sally from the Valley This is a girl playing hard to get So I said what's wrong, 'cause she looked upset BOTH: Now what was I to do She's crying over me And she was feeling blue I said, uh, don't cry BOTH: Dry your eyes Here comes your mother With those two little guys Her mean mother stepped up - Said to me - ALL: Hi Looked Sally in the face And decked her in the eye Punched her in the belly And stepped on her feet Slammed the child on the hard concrete BOTH: Boom.
[MIMICS GUNSHOTS.]
Heels in the fat.
[ROLLS TONGUE.]
[BOTH LAUGHING.]
That was awesome.
You want some breakfast? - [SIGHS.]
- I could put on a movie.
- "Secret Life of Pets"? - Yeah.
- Yeah? - Yeah.
Maybe later.
Are you still okay to stay home with her? I'm at the diner all day.
What? Again? Yeah.
Tony hired some high school idiot that only lasted an hour, so.
See now, if I didn't know you like I do, I'd think something shady was going on.
Please.
As if.
Leaving early, coming home late.
All right.
Where'd you meet him? - He taller than me? - He's a little taller.
- [CHUCKLING.]
- Oh, and Harry's teacher wants to talk about his listening skills.
Okay, well, he's got none of those so that should go pretty quick.
Well, he gets it from you.
I'm sorry, did you say something? - [LAUGHS.]
Oh.
- Oh.
You're funny.
You should take that on the road.
Hey, look.
Don't burn yourself out, okay? We need you in one piece around here.
- Okay.
- All right, baby.
Bye.
- Here's your cut.
- This is nothing.
It's more than we had last month.
Sara's on home dialysis now.
Plus the new medicine.
This is barely gonna make a dent.
Ugh! You suck! My custody lawyer billed me for messaging her questions on Facebook.
Why would you think you wouldn't get billed for that? Because we're friends on Facebook.
I've never worked so hard for so little, and I worked a service job.
- [SIGHS.]
- I say we get out.
Are you serious? We're risking everything including our lives.
We barely see our families - and for what? - For the money.
It'd be one thing if we were making mad bank.
But this? This isn't mad bank, you guys.
I say we cut our losses now before we get caught.
Or shot.
[UPBEAT ELECTRONIC MUSIC.]
Hang your hat Hang your hat on this, hang your hat [SWING CREAKING.]
Please, stop that.
Guys, this place is so familiar.
I'm having, like déjà vu.
Oh, please, stop.
Okay.
- [SIGHS.]
- Just chill.
- It's gonna be fine.
- [SCOFFS.]
How do you figure, Ruby? We just tell them the job wasn't for us - and that we're moving on.
- Right, yeah.
I'm sure he'll be totally cool with that.
We didn't sign a contract.
Dude, we've been laundering fake money for a street gang.
So? So it's not a college internship.
We can't be like, "Thanks, bye, I learned so much.
" There is no getting out.
Out of what? We've, um We've been thinking.
[CLEARS THROAT.]
Just about, you know, your whole operation and our small role in it.
And we've learned so much.
But it's not working for us.
How so? We need more.
- [WHISPERING.]
What? - We've been clearing about, what? 100 grand every few weeks for you? We're gonna need five times that amount to turn a profit and make it worth our time.
You wanna clean 500 Gs? We can do it.
- [SOFTLY.]
Can we? - You don't get more time.
It's not a problem.
[SOFTLY.]
It isn't? Go big or go home, right? Brought that mama van with you? Load 'em up.
Go big or go home? I don't know, it's something Kenny's coach always says.
Yeah, when he says it, he means home as in your house, not the big house.
Okay.
What were you thinking? I was thinking about our future.
We didn't come all this way to just quit.
I robbed a grocery store.
I didn't do it for nothing.
God, when did you get so cool? You guys, we can do this.
We just need some extra hands.
You want to bring other people into this now? We've got a system that works.
If we could just do it on a bigger scale.
- What if they get caught? - They won't.
We haven't.
This cash is that good.
So what? I just ask Harry's Spanish teacher if she wants a side hustle? I mean, she probably does.
Teachers make next to nothing.
We know tons of women who could use extra cash.
This isn't Mary Kay.
You can't just serve a bitch a mini-muffin and invite her to join you in a life of crime.
What if they didn't know it was a crime? [LIVELY INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC.]
So what's a secret shopper? Well, stores hire companies like the ones we work for to send in people to pretend to be shoppers.
That way they can tell how good or bad the customer service is.
- Mini-muffin? - Yes.
So you'll pay us to buy a bunch of stuff and then return it? They're mostly interested in the customer experience.
So every time you make a return, you feel out a survey and you get paid.
It's that easy.
[LAUGHS.]
Crazy, right? [CHUCKLES AWKWARDLY.]
So crazy.
How long does a survey have to be? Oh, that's entirely up to you.
Do we get reimbursed for mileage? - Good question.
- I will definitely bring that up with corporate.
- [MOUTHING "CORPORATE?".]
- Well, I, uh, I have to ask my husband.
Oh, Henry will freak if this takes me away from the kids.
- I should talk to mine too.
- No, no.
No, no.
- Mine, too.
- It's called secret shoppers.
- Got to stay secret.
- And, you guys, this isn't about your husband or your kids.
I mean I get it.
You feel like you've got to put everyone in front of you, right? But you don't.
We are giving you an opportunity to make your own money.
To do something just for yourself.
This is about being a strong, independent woman.
I'm I'm not a woman.
I think you guys are getting a little - caught up in the details.
- Yeah.
I don't have all the answers, but I will tell you this.
Ever since I started this, my perspective has changed entirely.
- Ain't that the truth.
- You guys, we're in this together.
I mean, when women support other women, incredible things happen.
Plus the shopper of the year gets a new Corvette.
- What? - BOTH: A Corvette? Why didn't you say that? [EXCITED CHATTER.]
Oh, they'll never remember.
[INDISTINCT CHATTER.]
[LAUGHTER.]
It's, uh, Agent Turner, right? - Jimmy.
- You in the market? 'Cause we got some sweet deals.
What are you driving now? An unmarked government-issued sedan.
[LAUGHING.]
Well, that's that's no fun.
Go ahead and take a ride.
The bureau doesn't like flashy.
I'm pretty sure that J.
Edgar Hoover used to rock a feather boa.
All right, well, so what can I help you with? Well I'm hoping we can help each other.
Cops found that SUV you reported stolen.
They did? Where? Bottom of Cedar Lake.
Hm.
Was there an accident? - No.
- [CHUCKLES.]
Who steals a car to sink it? I have no idea.
- You know who might though? - Who? Your wife.
Maybe we should step into your office, Mr.
Boland.
[LUNCH BAG CRINKLING.]
[TELEVISION PLAYING.]
That better not be Halloween candy, mister.
My science teacher says that chocolate's good for the heart.
- Ready, Mama! - What's with you and pants? Are you just morally opposed to pants? - Are you on a pants strike? - No pants! - Where are my shin guards? - Probably in dad's car.
Dad? - Dean? - [SNAPS FINGERS.]
- Huh? - Shin guards.
- [LAUGHTER.]
- Oh, uh, I'll look.
You feeling okay? What's on tap for you today? Carpool, cleaners, grocery store.
The usual.
Is that it? - It's tuna fish BOTH: Keep it in the fridge.
Yeah.
All right, everyone, let's go, let's go! Emma! Hey, hey, hey! Knock it off.
Thank you.
Have a fine and frugal day.
Ma'am, I'm ready if you are.
Oh, they never carry the mints I like.
Do I know you? - Uh, no, no, I'm not - Nana.
What are you doing here? I would have brought the ham salad to you.
- It is you.
- Oh, my God, it is.
I didn't know you worked with my Leslie.
She works for Social Services too.
Well, it's really more of a volunteer kind of a thing, you know, but She and all her friends cleaned my whole apartment.
Yeah.
I bet they did.
She's a very sweet girl, Leslie.
Oh, yeah.
Big heart, this one.
No, it's funny you didn't mention Fine and Frugal when you came over.
- Oh, uh - That is funny, Annie.
Now, why do you think that is? Hm.
Uh, I don't know, Leslie.
Maybe it's just because your Nana and I - had so much to talk about.
- Oh.
[CHUCKLES.]
For example, how is your fiancée, Jessica Alba? Oh, I showed her that beautiful picture.
Fine, yeah.
No, things are fine.
Yeah? Now, she's in LA though, right? Ugh.
Must be really tough, you know, the distance.
We make it work.
Glad to hear it.
You know, you left so abruptly that night, I was hoping you'd come back again.
Oh, I wanted to Marion.
Really, I just I've been so busy lately, you know? Yeah, Annie has a whole life outside of this store, Nana.
You would be real shocked.
It was just nice to have someone to talk to.
I mean, you can talk to me, Nana.
Oh, that's different, Leslie.
A woman needs the companionship of other women.
What about your friends, Marion? They're dead.
- Yo, Annie.
- Uh, yeah? You got a sec? Yeah, what up? I bought all the merchandise and filled out all the surveys.
- Just like you guys said.
- Okay? It was super chill and they didn't even know I was a secret shopper, just like you guys said.
Okay, great.
And then I went to return it all, just like you guys said.
And? What happened? Some of the stuff was stolen from my car.
But your windows aren't broken.
Oh, the locks are though.
Yeah.
Well, how much did they take, Tyler? Um, well, a lot.
Well, how much is a lot? Pretty much all of it.
We gave you $20,000.
Yeah.
[LAUGHS NERVOUSLY.]
You guys could just call corporate, right? I mean, this stuff must have happened to them before.
You know, they're probably insured for it.
You know, man, I generally think the best of people.
- He lost all of it? - Oh, yeah.
All gone.
So, this is for you.
- Remember her? - Uh, I'm sorry.
- What's this? - And this is - What are you doing? - For you.
Now, we're gonna need a sharpie.
- No, uh-uh, not happening.
- Because we can't have anymore of these pesky orange tippies poking through.
We are not robbing another store.
Or anymore little old ladies.
Well, I actually agree with that.
Marion came into the store earlier and it was like "Driving Miss Daisy" - only sadder.
- Okay, then.
So I figured we could rip off a check cashing place - because - We're not robbing anything! Fine.
We'll just stiff the gang.
Hey, do you guys know what happens when they need to dump your body in an oil drum? They soak you in lye, and they make you into soup.
And then the cops can't tell if you used to be a human or a large dog.
That's really not necessary.
Well, actually it is 'cause oil drums are real small.
Just waiting on suggestions over here.
- I have an idea.
- Oh, do you? - I do.
- Love to hear it.
We pay the gang back in full.
And how do we replace the 20 grand? We stiff our secret shoppers instead.
- We can't do that.
- At least we don't - end up in an oil drum.
- No, just prison when they report us for fraud.
Yeah, and it wouldn't be enough.
We would have to dip into our profits to cover it, and that would basically leave us back where we started.
- I am not going back there.
- Me either.
So - [SINGS SILLY MELODY.]
- Stop it! We don't need that.
Then how are we supposed to get the money back? We don't need the money.
We just need the merchandise.
[UPBEAT POP MUSIC.]
I can't be more of a baller Every day I'm ten feet taller I'm a soldier, move over I'm gonna throw you, I'll show you Got shade on me like a baller Every day I'm ten feet taller No, let me get in it, that's what she said No, let me get real, that's what he said I'm gonna fight Till it's right Set and done I am the one [KNOCKING ON WINDOW.]
Oh, my god.
My name is Randy.
I'm raising money for our school trip No, thanks.
Go away.
It's an opportunity for my class to visit our nation's capital.
And it's only $2 for a chocolate bar.
Okay, whatever.
Give me one.
Awesome, okay, it's three for $5 and six for $10.
- That's a way better deal.
- Okay, fine, give me six.
Wow.
Um, okay, what flavors do you want? - I have caramel, plain - Oh, my God.
- I literally do not care, Randy.
- Okay.
Uh.
You gave me nougat? Props to me, I'm a baller Every day I'm ten feet taller - [COUGHS.]
- I'm a fighter, I'm a rider What you do I do it to Got shade on me like a baller Every day I'm ten feet taller Thank you.
Let me get in, that's what she said No, let me get with it That's what he said I'm gonna fight Till it's right Set and done I am the one I hold my head high [ALARM BLARING.]
Oh! I'm sorry.
Is that me? I'm gonna have to see your receipt.
Yeah, okay.
Oh! You know what? I completely forgot that I tried that on.
Ah, there you go.
I'm gonna fly so high No limit no lie No woman, no man Let's go.
We got returns to make.
[DOOR CREAKS.]
How was the meeting? [RING CLATTERING.]
Mrs.
Rubin's on a tear about trans fats in the cafeteria again.
That woman needs a hobby.
[CHUCKLES SOFTLY.]
I know.
I'm gonna take a shower.
Maybe after you can tell me why you stole a car and ditched it in a lake.
Wanna sit down? No.
The FBI guy, he came back.
[CHUCKLES DULLY.]
- What did you tell him? - Uh, I told him that I cheated on my wife.
And [CLEARS THROAT.]
She freaked out so she took my car on a joyride and trashed it after she went on a mini Canadian shopping spree.
- Did he buy it? - Yeah, he did.
Oh, good.
I don't.
So What the hell were you doing? It's hard to explain.
How about you try? - I I - Were you smuggling drugs? I didn't know what it was.
How do you not know? You stole a car and went over the border with something illegal inside of it.
You you could go to prison for that.
We have kids.
We needed the money and we needed it fast! And I didn't know how else to get it.
Maybe you get a job.
It was a job! I meant, like, Panera or something.
Don't yell at me.
Sit down! Don't yell at me.
Sit down! Was it that bounce house guy? I mean, did he put you up to this? What? You know, those guys, they just they prey on good, innocent people.
They just rope them in.
I mean, is that what happened? Or That's exactly what happened.
I'm sorry I yelled at you.
But look.
Everything's gonna be fine.
- Okay.
- I'm gonna take care of this.
Nothing bad is going to happen to us.
Okay? Okay.
Just stay away from that guy.
Okay.
Dean.
Yeah? Thank you.
Hey, boo-boo.
- How are you doing? - Okay.
I brought Chinese.
Uncle Tony brought food.
- What? - [MUFFLED CHATTER.]
There you are.
- Hey, Tony.
- Hey.
Yeah, I heard about Sara being in the hospital.
Yeah, he brought enough food to feed a marching band.
Well, I feel terrible about everything.
That's so sweet.
If I had known what was going on - with your family - It's okay.
I would have never let you go.
Place isn't the same without you.
I told him not to worry, that you've been keeping yourself real busy.
I was gonna tell you as soon as I got another gig.
Ooh, surf and turf.
That's what I've been doing for the past few weeks.
Just, you know, looking for work all day long.
God, he really went all out.
I was so embarrassed that I blew a perfectly good gig that I couldn't tell you.
No fries? I'm sorry, babe.
I really am.
Why they got to be crinkle cut? Would you stop with the food, Stan? Ruby, what do you want me to say? I don't know.
Anything.
All right.
I don't believe a word that just came out of your mouth.
How about that? [SOFT GUITAR MUSIC.]
[CRYING, SNIFFLING.]
Is it me or the Salisbury steaks getting smaller? You're just not a little boy anymore.
[CHUCKLES.]
[TELEVISION PLAYING.]
Nana.
Where do you keep your money? Somewhere safe.
Well, you should think about a bank.
I mean, that's safer.
I don't trust banks.
Well, you know, I don't like you keeping a bunch of cash lying around.
You know, you live alone.
You got people coming in and out.
Medicare or whatever.
Bring these to work for Annie, will ya? - Seriously? - Well, her little girl loves oatmeal raisin, she said.
Well, yeah.
I like oatmeal raisin.
She's a single mom.
Did you know that? How she volunteers on top of it is beyond me.
Yeah, well, believe me.
She's no saint.
That's not very nice.
Yeah, well, she's not very nice! Okay? She's a loser.
Nana.
She is a loser and a liar and just a bad person.
Mildred had a magazine called "US Weekly.
" Jessica was in it.
There was a picture of her coming out of a gas station.
Apparently she's such a big movie star that people pay to see her coming out of the gas station.
Yeah, well, you know, I'm really proud of her.
They said she's married to a man named Cash Warren and has adorable children.
Honor and Haven.
It's a, uh It's a blended family situation.
She was never your fiancée, was she? It's I didn't want you to worry about me.
Well, I do.
You've always had trouble meeting people, and I always thought it wasn't your fault.
It's not.
[SIGHS.]
Oh, I love you, Leslie.
I do.
But Annie's not the loser here.
Turner! Hey! Jimmy! Hey, what's going on with the case? When are we gonna move on these bitches, man? [RATTLES DOORKNOB.]
Turner.
Jimmy.
Come on, buddy.
This thing is locked.
- Is this soundproof? - Sir.
Step away from the glass.
It's cool.
We actually work together.
Hey, can you, uh Wait.
Wait! - Jimmy! - You need to leave.
- But we work together.
- Now.
20 years of marriage, Stan has never looked at me like that.
Aw, honey, I'm so sorry.
Like, ever.
At least he doesn't know everything.
- Dean does.
- What? The FBI found the car, you guys.
- When? - I don't know.
But Dean covered for us.
Deansie covered for us? Well, then we're good.
He thinks I'm some naive idiot that got taken advantage of, so.
Of course he does.
So what are you gonna do about it? Let him think it.
How'd it go, ladies? It's all there.
$1/2 million.
Let me ask you something.
How do you not get caught? School ain't in session right now.
Hey, come on.
We just cleaned $1/2 million for you.
I flip my game.
- What does that mean? - It means I flip my game.
Uh, she knows all those words individually but not, like, in a row.
Say we talking herb.
Now, you can move nickel bags all day long.
Nickels move fast 'cause everybody knows the nickel bag man, right? That's why his dumb ass is always getting popped.
Now, the smart ones, they turn nickels into dimes.
Dimes gets you the pills.
And now you moving up the chain.
Before anybody knows what's going on you're onto TVs and whatnot.
And while they all got their back turned, I'm over here with a bunch of suburban bitches selling Monopoly money.
We'll see where that takes me.
Your cut.
- Count it.
- It's all there.
Trust me.
60 Gs.
We'll up your drop next time? Say 750.
- Why? - 'Cause you delivered.
[UPBEAT POP MUSIC.]
[WHISTLES.]
Just call us the mailman.
Why? 'Cause we deliver.
He just said it.
Can someone explain to me what flipping a game means? - I did not process a word of that.
- [LAUGHING.]
Not a word.
And then I was too embarrassed to ask again.
- Well, we can't ask again.
- No.
Oh, I used to get high in this park.
I have planned everything out.
I am also planning.
On? - Two more of these.
- Oh, whoop! Okay, well, mine is business plan.
- Oh.
- Ooh, watching CNBC once.
Six months - and we're out.
- Hm.
By then, we will have enough money for all of Sara's medication and any extra medical fees.
We will have more than enough for your custody lawyer and my bank accounts will be in the black.
And We will have a honeypot.
What's the honeypot for? We invest in something legit.
And that's our safety net.
So no matter what happens, we don't have to rob a grocery store again.
- [CHUCKLES.]
- Hey.
You know what you just did there? Uh, flipped our game? - Correctomundo.
- Yes, yeah.
Excuse me, can we get another round, please? - [SILLY VOICE.]
Yeah, can we? - Thank you very much.
Thank you.
Okay.
- Six months and out.
- Cheers.
Ooh, cheersies.
Cheers.
- Mmm.
- [SIGHS.]
You guys.
What am I gonna tell Stan? [SIGHS.]
I did something.
It was stupid and risky.
All right.
So stupid and risky you would have had my head examined which is why I couldn't tell you.
Well, that's not how this is supposed to go, you and me.
I know.
We handle what we got to handle.
I know.
So, here it is.
Are you ready? I started a business.
- Okay? - And I didn't want to tell you because I was afraid I'd fail.
I didn't fail.
I'm crushing it.
You made all this? I did.
Legitimately? Well, what's the business? Secret shopping.
It's very lucrative.
I I see that.
- How much is that? - Almost 20 grand.
- And that's yours.
- Well, it's ours.
Can I touch it? Go ahead.
Whoa.
That's heavy.
It's nice.
You can smell it too.
[SNIFFS.]
[EXHALES.]
Smells good.
- [LAUGHS.]
That's fresh.
- Yeah, it does.
- Smells better than our debt.
- Way better.
Do you know what we could do with this? Everything.
No, no, no.
Ring, ring, ring.
- Hello? - Uh, do you know what we could do with this? Everything.
Everything! [LAUGHING.]
Come here.
What? [EXHALES SLOWLY.]
Oh, my God.
[SNIFFS.]
I'm sorry.
I just can't.
[SNIFFS.]
I can't stop smelling it.
- Can't stop, won't stop.
- It's so good.
[SNIFFS.]
Hi! Oh, come on in.
Come on in.
I didn't know when you were coming back, so I started a little list of chores, and What's wrong? Um.
Look, Marion, I I'm not with Social Services.
Are you with Medicare? - No, um.
- Medicaid? No, Marion - Meals on Wheels? - Uh, I'm I'm not with anything helpful.
The truth is we came here to rob you 'cause we thought you'd be an easy target.
Um.
So I just wanted to, uh, return what we stole.
I, um, I couldn't find the little drummer boy so I got you the accordion player instead.
[CHUCKLES SOFTLY.]
Marion, I'm [CRYING.]
I'm really, really sorry.
Are you rushing off to your daughter? Uh, no, she's she's out of town with her dad.
Because Gloria had a baby.
I was gonna toast to her with some of Raymond's nice bourbon.
I'm sorry, just to be totally clear, you You understand that I stole from you, right? Did you have a good reason? I hate to drink alone.
[BOTH CHUCKLE.]
So what is this for Gloria? Four, five? - Six! - Six? [BOTH LAUGH.]
You're killing me, Gloria.
Darren.
Got a minute? Come on.
I swear I haven't been double bagging since you said not to.
Oh, good job.
That's good.
Uh, hey, what if I told you I was looking to, uh, party? Party? Oh, party supplies.
- Aisle nine.
- [CHUCKLING.]
Yeah, the thing is, I'm a little more interested in party favors.
Oh, they're also on aisle nine.
No.
Different kind of favor.
If you know what I mean? I I don't, Mr.
Petersen.
[CHUCKLES.]
Drugs, Darren.
Oh, cold and flu's aisle eight.
Listen.
I got your number, son.
All right? Nobody who bags groceries drives a Range Rover.
So unless you want me all over your business in the parking lot I suggest you hook a fella up.
I got cola, Tina, molly, oxy, K, addys, and fat bags of herb.
I'll take it.
What what do you mean? I'll I'll take all of it.
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC.]
Hey.
[TELEVISION PLAYING.]
Unbelievable.
My keys didn't work in the front door.
Uh, I had all the locks changed.
Hey, did you get milk? We're out.
Why'd you do that? I want you to feel safe in your own home.
Oh, and by the way, Fred from work, he's gonna close for me from now on.
Didn't he just have a baby? Twins.
They're super cute.
I just don't like the idea of you being home alone.
You don't have to come home early.
I just wish we could turn that bounce house guy in.
- He's not a bounce house guy.
- I know, but still.
And you can't turn him in.
Look.
He's not gonna mess with you anymore, all right? Not on my watch.
[LAUGHS.]
What's so funny? I mean, who says that? [DEEP VOICE.]
Not on my watch, young lady.
[LAUGHS.]
Dangerous people took advantage of you.
Yeah, yeah.
They took advantage of me.
I don't see anything funny about any of this.
How did they take advantage of me, Dean? Am I so naive and innocent? - I must be.
- I I never said that.
Must be dumb too.
Just a little lamb to the slaughter.
- I didn't say that.
- You didn't have to.
How little you must think of me.
They didn't take advantage of me.
It was a choice.
I wanted to.
And you have no idea what I have done or even who I am.
And that little wifey of yours who lived to make you dinner has left the building, and she is not coming back.
I mean, I'm sitting here watching [GROANS.]
What is this? Where where did this come from? Yeah, I did forget the milk.
Beth, what the hell is going on? And let Fred go back to his babies.
I'm not afraid of the dark.
[ROCK MUSIC BUILD-UP.]