Good Girls (2018) s02e06 Episode Script

Take Off Your Pants

1 Previously on "Good Girls" I told you everything I know.
Pack your kids up.
I'm booking you tonight.
One of them's married to a cop.
- I want you out.
- Not an option.
No more pen cap.
There's no saving my soul.
I'm already going to hell.
He said there's someone else.
Hey, they were out of cinnamon, so I'm the dick who slept with your dad.
What? - Did you forgive him? - I think I did.
You're a better person than me.
How many women did my husband cheat on me with? Including Amber? Four.
[moaning] I think the dealership could be great again.
Buy with fake and sell for real, - and we'll take a cut.
- Cars for cash.
Then come on down to the new and improved Boland Motors.
I've been working on your calendar.
- Where are you going to be? - Here, at work.
We can't both steer the ship.
You guys No! No mustaches in the morning.
There's no Come on, you guys.
Did you brush your teeth? No, you didn't brush your teeth.
I can smell it from here.
Here.
And pants, young lady.
You need pants.
What is your deal with the pants? Kenny! Hey, K-Man! Do not forget your homework upstairs.
All right, guys, let's get breakfast.
Oh, Dad forgot milk, so we're gonna do it dry, okay? Just it's just as delicious, just not as wet.
[on TV] On-site day care while you shop.
There you go.
And here's some.
I'll clean that up.
Hey, you guys, look.
Mommy's on TV - Oh.
- Yay! Our flexible hours will suit any woman's schedule, whether you're stuck at ho - Where are the lunches? - Um Oh - Okay, it's a hot-lunch day.
- Who's gonna do my hair? - Daddy's going to.
- Here.
But he can't do the bun for ballet.
- He'll learn.
- I will I will learn.
- All right, love you.
- Give me your face.
Come here.
Mwah.
Love you.
I love you.
- Hey, are you gonna be late? - Don't wait up.
[door opens, closes] [sighs] Good morning, Mrs.
Boland.
- How's the baby? - Not sleeping, Mrs.
Boland.
Told you white noise, blackout curtains, and let him cry.
- [chuckles] - Morning, Ms.
Boland.
[indistinct chatter] [music playing faintly] How can I help you? Yeah, I got some cars coming in today from up north.
- What kind of cars? - Ah, blue ones, green ones.
- You know.
- Well, my lot's full.
Yeah, these are for me, though.
What do you mean? You know, you don't got to worry about all that stuff.
Just stay in your little lane.
I am going to need you to deliver me one, though, yeah? What did you put in the cars? [scoffs] Why I got to push ten different buttons to get a cappuccino? [chuckles] Mocha no.
Vanilla no.
- What's in the cars? - "What's in the box? What's in the box?" [chuckles] Just bring them, all right? It won't be good for nobody if you don't.
Love what you've done with the place.
[Fassine's "Bring the Weight Down"] [car carrier rattling] Wave the Flag, wear the mask Move slowly through the past Oh, yeah, bring the weight down I'm on fire Bring the weight down I'm on f [music stops] [brakes squeal] What are you doing here? Well, I-I have a surprise for you.
Nancy's picking me up.
Well, I think you're going to like it.
Okay.
You know how you've always wanted a puppy? - You did not.
- I did not.
But I am seriously open to the possibility.
You're allergic.
I may or may not have made that up.
[scoffs] I'm sorry, it's The new me is trying to be 100% honest.
- How is Nancy? - Pregnant.
I mean, like, mentally.
Is she all right? - What do you think? - [scoffs] How much longer are you gonna stay there? I don't know.
You know, I'm talking to the turtle again.
We're having deep conversations about life and love.
Please.
Just just go.
[sighs] I'm sorry.
I made a bad decision.
But you know what Julia Ormond says.
- Who's Julia Ormond? - Not her.
You know, the the financial lady with the rooster head? Anyway, she says that bad decisions make teachable moments.
So what did you learn? I learned that I'm a complete idiot.
And I miss you.
And I'm lonely.
Nancy's lonely, too.
[sighs] So now we're in the delivery business.
[sighs] She's in a fog, man.
What the hell is in those cars anyway? Dong fog.
- It's eating her brain.
- I mean, fake cash, sure.
Ugh.
I can't even stand to watch them together.
But what else like, guns, people? She presents like a baboon.
You know, with the flared anus.
Never, ever say that word.
Which "flared" or "anus"? - Either.
- [footsteps approaching] - [sighs] - So what's in the car? - Nothing.
- What do you mean "nothing"? I mean, obviously something, but I tore every single one apart.
Shady S.
O.
B.
"Stay in your lane.
" - I am in my lane.
- Yeah, you are.
- He's in my lane.
- Yeah, he is.
'Cause you know who's gonna go down for this when he gets caught smuggling whatever it is he's smuggling.
Yeah, you.
Well, us.
Hey, there he is.
What's he doing? Hey, now.
- Ooh.
Nuh-uh.
- Yuh-huh.
- Hmm.
- Mm-hmm.
Sweetie, it's probably just business.
Yeah, I mean, what do they say? You know, why make a sale when you can make a loyal customer? Right, I mean, relationships are everything in, you know - The biz.
- Yeah.
[engine turning over] Hey, maybe we should grab a snack or, like, - a smoothie or something.
- I'm so hungry.
- Drive.
- [engine turning over] [fast hip-hop music] - What, next point wins? - You better D up.
- Oh! - Yay! Good game, baby.
- [grunts] - Anybody got next? [man speaking indistinctly over PA] [exhales sharply] You know what? Maybe next time.
I got to Promise to take it easy.
Well, no, I got my shift so Ah, you worried you might get schooled, huh? - [chuckles] - Come on, quick game to three.
Uh - Three, huh? - Quick game to three.
Okay.
Did play in college? Let's just say I'm still bitter that Carolina took Jordan over me.
Oh! [chuckles] Looks like they made the right choice.
[both chuckle] Where you from? 313, born and raised.
Ooh.
You married? Yep.
- How long? - 22 years.
- [rim rattles, net swishes] - Whoo! 22.
- How many good years? - All of them good.
All of them good? Lucky man.
Must be hard being married to a cop.
You know what? I should probably get out of here No, no, no, come on, man.
Come on, man.
I haven't rolled with somebody who can actually play ball since Baltimore.
- You know what I miss the most? - What's that? Ah.
The food.
- [grunts] - [net swishes] The food? We got the best Coney dog - game in the world here.
- Yeah, I been living off of them.
- Yeah? Lafayette or American? - Lafayette.
You complaining? Well, I'm just more of a home-cooked-meal kind of guy Oh! [sighs] Your wife got cooking skills, huh? My wife? Uh Yeah, yeah, I mean, yeah, for yeah.
What's her go-to? You know, um [stammers] Lasagna, whatever.
- Oh, boom.
- [net swishes] - Game.
- Good game.
You didn't say lasagna, did you? Uh yeah, I guess I did I? I said that? That's like my death row meal right there.
That's your jam right there, huh? - Oh, yeah.
- [laughs] Home-cooked.
Yeah.
Look girl, if you don't stop moving your head - So which one is Alex again? - You always forget.
Curly afro or zitty braces? - Afro! - Okay, chill.
Janelle says he likes me.
"What is your favorite food? Mine is pizza.
" - You think? - Oh, it's on.
But he put the same thing in Rochelle's locker.
The same note with all those stupid questions? Plus fav movie and fav song.
Let me tell you something about the boys, baby girl.
They love to put their stuff in a whole bunch of lockers.
- All at the same time? - Oh, yeah.
So, just when you think your locker is special, they are working lockers all over town.
You know what I'm saying? Trying to keep their options open, 'cause there's a bunch out there to choose from, right? Different sizes, shapes, colors.
Ours all look the same.
And they don't even bother to hide it now.
Just all out in public, all janky-like.
So, if I were you, I would keep that locker closed up tight for as long as possible.
You hear me? Babe it is so real out there right now.
- You like my hair, Daddy? - I love it, baby.
Hey, y-you just about done? - You invited him to dinner? - What was I supposed to do? How about not do that? He invited himself.
My name is on that hostage list.
Your maiden name, right? - Yeah.
- Okay, so he might not know.
He's FBI, Stanley.
Babe, he he he wants to bring his boyfriend.
- So? - So what's he gonna do shake us down at the dinner table? Maybe he just maybe it's just dinner.
Have you seen any episode of "Columbo", like, ever? [sighs] What's this? This? This is me not getting hauled off in cuffs, me not doing life without parole.
And these? These are my children not dressing up for Christmas to come visit me in prison.
Your new bestie can enjoy his home-cooked meal in his own home.
- You want me to just drop these off? - Yep.
- 'Cause that's not going to be weird.
- I don't care.
He's gonna think we're hiding something.
- We are hiding something.
- [sighs] It's not a good look.
You want to know what's not a good look? You at the dinner table doing the shaky leg.
- What are you talking about? - You got no poker face, babe.
And I love you for it, but it's gonna bring the both of us down hard.
- I'll drop the dinner off.
- Yeah, you will.
What is the word? An unhuman search Memories touching Heavy fog masking I am a vessel Are you a vessel? [toys squeaking] I'm sorry, I was gonna do that.
- When? - Uh Well, I had to I had to make dinner.
It's not that complicated.
Well, and then I had to get them in the bath and get them to bed.
No one wants to come home to this.
Emma is upset about her hair, and Kenny is getting his butt kicked in Krav Maga.
And then Janey won't wear pajamas.
I don't know if you noticed, but all that kid likes to do right now is - Yeah, I know.
She does that.
- Yeah, well while I'm reading her bedtime stories? It's her time.
She just sits there, like, with her hands It's normal, Dean.
- Okay, well, I'm exhausted.
- Well, don't shame her.
It's exhausting.
Yeah.
I tried to put the booster seats in the Malibu, but I couldn't get Janey's to budge.
The latch gets stuck.
You've got to wiggle it.
When Danny is in the front seat, I turn the air bags off and then keep them on with Kenny is that right? I just feel like the rules keep changing.
You okay? [upbeat music] [horn honks] [horn honks] [horn honking] [tires squeal] But I had the illest second rebuttal, man.
I was all like, "Guess what.
"The imperative's on your ass.
There's no solvency here.
"Your case is inherently non-unique, and your argument is moot, bitch!" Whoo! So did you win or what? - Headed to Nationals, dog.
- Nice.
[both laugh] So my man here is, like, a college-level debater.
Well, then this is all kinds of wrong.
- Can you tell us what it is? - Um I'm not getting much of a reading here.
- Think it's synthetic? - Let's see.
- Fo sho.
- [sighs] What does that even mean? Well, could be anything from Special K, vitamin E, Kibbles and Bits, gamma-H, barbies, phennies, roachies, egg rolls.
Okay, check it.
- This one right here - Yeah.
PD 155.
It's like a statin I think they call it.
Jesus.
What does that do to you? It lowers cholesterol? What, like, robo-tripping? Like, you got to pop a ton of them or? I don't know.
My my dad just pops one in the morning with milk.
But, yeah, you you got a pretty diverse portfolio here.
Um, Prevacid, that's gonna be for heartburn.
Beta blockers for blood pressure.
Ooh, I think this might actually be some sort of antidepressant.
- Would have to cross-reference.
- I'm sorry.
So these are all just, like, normal-people drugs? That's what it looks like.
So there's nothing here that a junkie would want? A junkie with arterial plaque buildup? Is this the statin or the, um, blood pressure? - I can't tell.
- Let me see here.
Hmm.
Hmm.
L 159 is a boner pill.
- Great.
Here's more.
- Thank you.
[pops lips] - So we sell drugs now.
- Hmm.
This one doesn't have a number.
- It might be an Altoid.
- Or Oxy.
- What if it was Oxy? - [chuckling] I am on the board of D.
A.
R.
E.
, okay? And the FBI guy has been sniffing around Stan.
Well, does he have anything, or is he just sniffing? - He loves to sniff.
- I don't know.
But I can't afford to be a drug dealer right now.
But these drugs are good for people.
Who knew there was a black market for, um, acid-reflux pills? - Not me.
- It's pretty cool.
- Are y'all for real? - What? It's not fair.
We deserve a cut.
'Cause that's what it's about.
What else would it be about? Drug Beth? [scoffs] Whatever.
Wait, what's Drug Beth? Counterfeit Beth, Drug Beth, and you know he's got a Gun Beth - and a Blood Diamond Beth - Okay.
And a Human Trafficking Beth.
Let's just take it easy.
Oh, so now you're cool with the fog? Our values have realigned.
Our girl is a side piece.
You think I care who he sleeps with? I so don't.
I'm like I'm like, "Who cares?" I don't And he's making money off our backs.
Yeah.
Yeah, and with our asses on the line.
So what? We just say, "Cut us in, pretty please"? No, we take every pill from every car, - and we bleed him dry.
- Hell, yeah.
And then he shoots us in the face.
He can't shoot us in the face if we have his product.
- Can't he? - He won't.
Won't he? [jazzy music] - Good morning, Mrs.
Boland.
- Good morning, Linda.
- Hey, guess what.
- What did I say? - I let him cry, and it worked.
- Told you.
George? I would like you to show my friend Darren here how to open an air-bag compartment.
- What? - Yeah, I got a I got a school project.
- Yes! - Keep it coming.
[musical flourish] [brakes squeal] - How was school? - You're being a stalker.
Well, you're making me be one.
- It's weird.
- Well, I'd be a lot less weird - if you'd just come home.
- Nancy's making vegan pizza.
You know she's gonna try to slip you some of that nut cheese.
What do you want? Can I just show you something? Pick a prize! Any prize.
[children chattering indistinctly] Look, I feel bad that you feel bad, so I got you a present.
You got me a mall.
Well, look.
Uh, here.
Huh? It basically, like, lives your entire life for you.
It's obviously really dumb, but I feel like it's gonna make all your friends super jelly.
How do you have the money for this? I picked up some extra shifts.
At your grocery store? Excuse me, why do you say it like that? It is literally a grocery store, and, you know, me and your auntie Beth are working on something.
What? Like a "new business venture" thingy.
- What? - We are diversifying our portfolio, and I am projecting some extremely sick profits, okay? - Now you're just saying random words.
- No, Sadie, I'm not.
I'm trying to explain to you, but I You're lying again.
- What do you mean again? - You lie about everything.
- No, I don't.
- About Dad.
Where you're going, why you're late, why you're early.
- I'm never early.
- You want me to come home? Yes, please.
Tell me where you got the money.
Does this mean you don't want the watch? Sadie.
[sighs] [laughter, indistinct chatter] Ah, Mommy's home.
Hi, Mommy.
Hey, babe.
- Hi, Mommy.
- We've, uh we got company.
Say hi to Mommy.
It's Agent Turner and his boyfriend.
[dramatic music] [scoffs] Well, I am happy to meet you.
- Call me Jimmy.
- Hi, there.
Hi.
Mm, uh, this is Douglas.
- How you doing? - [chuckles] Your kids are hilarious.
Yeah, Little Money was playing his piano recital for them twice.
[chuckles] Lucky you.
And you really put your foot in the meal you sent us.
Can always tell when something is made with love.
- Oh, that came through, huh? - Mm.
So I just had to say thank you face-to-face.
Oh, it's not necessary.
Well, Rosemary Turner would disagree.
She would say, "Son, you never return a dish empty.
" Oh, uh, you brought dinner? Oh, yeah.
It's payback time.
[chuckles] It's so nice, right? - [chuckles] So nice.
- [man laughs] Um You really made this mac and cheese from scratch? - For real for real.
- You think it's better than the box? I mean, the box stuff [continues indistinctly] [water running] [water stops] [door opens, closes] Where is it? - I trusted you.
- That's your fault.
- They're my cars.
- My money.
- My dealership.
- Where is it? Not here.
You know, I think this thing with me and you has run its course, yeah? Well, then you won't get your pills.
- I got more coming.
- Not in my cars, you don't.
Where is it? I'll tell you when you cut us in.
Oh, you think you special, huh? - You need me.
- You ain't nothing.
I don't need you.
So go buy a sketchy lot down on Carson.
Use fake cash, staff it up with gang bangers.
That won't look shady at all.
How long do you think till the Feds show up, huh? A month? A week? They're already watching you.
They just need a reason.
[dramatic music] You need me so they don't find one.
[door opens] Mama? Can you lay with me? Yes, sweetie.
I promise.
Yeah.
Hey, okay.
Let's go get some popcorn.
- What the hell was that about? - Business.
Did he did he have a gun? - No.
- I think he did.
- He was upset.
- Why? - Why what? - Why him? What are you even talking about? It's like you're losing your mind.
You're putting yourself in these insane situations.
Is it the tattoos? Is that it? - Come on.
- The danger? The strange? I don't get it at all, and I want to get it.
- You know what I want to get? - What? What was it about Amber? What does that have to do with Or anyone else at Team Boland that sat on your penis.
[scoffs] I was lonely.
And I didn't know how to say it.
Well, you said something.
Loud and clear, huh? It's business.
- Okay.
- And it's for us.
Okay.
My God.
So, uh, Harry has this one buddy - Frankie.
- Mm-hmm.
Smallest one in the crew.
Causes big-time trouble, though.
Right? But I had to get real with Little Money and let him know that at the end of the day, his buddy Frankie's skin doesn't look like his.
- Mm-hmm.
- You feel me? And so, when you are all at the mall [stammering] And it goes sideways - And you know it will.
- Mm-hmm.
You know, when they start rounding folks up Where's Frankie going to be? - Home.
- And where are you? Handcuffed on the curb with a flashlight in your face.
- Mm.
- I mean, he is only six.
All right, well, you know, it's never too young to give the boy perspective.
So first day of pre-K, right? Oh, for you, that early? Oh, Pops laid out all the rules.
Don't run with scissors, don't play in the street, and don't get pissed when they assume you're on financial aid.
I mean, but you were, so there's that.
[both laugh] I don't know.
What? What don't you know, baby? That light in their eyes right now.
I don't want to put it out so soon.
Either way it's going out.
That why you're a cop? How you mean? Show 'em you're one of the good guys.
Hmm.
Uh, maybe.
[footsteps running] Ladies and gentlemen, take your seats, the show is about to begin.
- Here we go.
- Tickets, please! [laughs] I got a ticket.
- There you are.
- [chuckles] All right, good luck.
Now, how long you guys been playing? I've been playing four years.
[sighs] How you doing? You? I'm good.
[stammering] I think we're good.
Daddy, come fix the bench.
He can't reach the peddles.
Huh? Oh, okay.
Copy.
Need a hand? Concert's over already? I think the maestro is getting put to bed.
- You got a good one in there.
- Yeah? I should keep him? Mm-hmm.
- You guys are sweet together.
- Eh 20 years of marriage, you get to know a person real good.
I bet.
I should have offered you whipped cream.
It'll be worse for him.
You get that, right? Sorry? When they find out he took the pen cap.
He don't look like Lil Frankie either.
The part that kills me is that he just wants your son to look at him and see a good cop.
So you let me know how you want to play it.
[plates rattle] - It's pie time, y'all.
- Hey, now! I want whipped cream on mine! [indistinct chatter] And did you find everything that you needed today? Almost.
Hi, Darren.
Hi, Mrs.
Cooper.
Good morning.
- Say hi to your mother.
- Will do.
And you have a Fine and Frugal day, Mrs.
Cooper.
- Here you go, Mrs.
Cooper.
- Thanks.
[on PA] Fine and Frugal fresh flowers, $5.
99 and up.
What are your parents like, Darren? - Oh, so dope.
- Oh.
Really? You're you're cool with them? Dude, we're, like, best friends.
Hmm.
But they they obviously don't know what you do.
Oh, no, they do.
They do.
They just don't mess with my steez.
Oh.
They're just, like, I don't know, super chill kind of like you are with, uh S I'm sorry, what's her name? S-Sadie.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But, like, when my dad first found out, he got super freaked out.
He was all like, "Colleen, he could go to jail.
" But my mom just goes, you know, "Sometimes bad decisions make teachable moments.
" You know, and I'm like, "you know, I'm making money, man.
" [conversation fades] [engine revving] - [tires screeching] - Jesus.
- Get in the car.
- No! [shifter clacks] Get in the car right now, young lady.
- "Young lady"? - Now! I have plans with Nancy.
It is my night, and you will sleep at my house.
Tell me where you got the money.
I'm going to explain a few things to you.
What I did was wrong, and I am sorry.
It was confusing and hurtful for you, and I feel sick about that.
Believe me, I do.
I wish that I had handled it differently.
That being said, I am your parent, and if I tell you to do something, I need it done.
Three nights a week and every other weekend, you are mine.
So get your ass in the damn car, now.
[car door opens] [indistinct chatter] [breathes deeply] - Here, baby.
- Thanks.
Okay! My peoples, all right, I'm thinking if we leave right now, we can be there before 5:00.
- Where? - Happiest place on earth.
- Disneyland? - My bad poor choice of words.
The zoo! Ha! Just as fun, right? - No.
- Come on.
- They have a new baby penguin.
- They do? I was thinking we could get some funnel cakes, you know, ride the elephants.
- Feed the monkeys? - That's what I'm talking about.
100%.
Oh, uh, oh, what about those nitrogen ice cream things.
We could take videos of the smoke coming out of our mouths.
- Yeah.
- Pet some giraffes, and then then we could find that baby penguin and then buy some overpriced pictures of us [clicks tongue] with the baby penguin and then come back home with a big, happy stomachache.
- Yeah! Hey, hey, hey! - Yeah, I'm liking the energy.
Mommy not so much.
[sighs] Don't you have a shift? I took the night off because I love my family, and I need to get my Instagram story game up.
[chuckles] Hey, so kids three and under still get in for free.
- You think you can pull it off? - No way.
Okay, so get some sunscreen, some towels, and a sweatshirt.
Fun bus leaves in 30.
[slaps counter] 30! Chop-chop.
Sara, what's up? Come on, let's go.
Come on, now.
We got to celebrate a little, right? You guys go.
I got to run errands.
No, you're gonna miss the fun train? I thought it was a bus.
I see you.
You're paying attention.
Good job.
Okay, who's not ready? Who's not ready? Harry, you ready? - Ready.
- Sara, what is wrong with you? Come on! Let's let's go! [somber music] - [door opens] - Bye, Mommy! Bye.
Whatever you need to know.
But he has to stay out of it.
He's gonna be fine.
Thank you.
You will, too.
Isn't this the part where y'all arrest me? I don't want to do that.
You guys are good people.
What do you want, then? Her.
Cars will keep coming in from up north.
All you got to do is get them to the appropriate parties for distro.
And what are we talking about? - 30.
- Please.
Excuse me? - My name's on the door.
- So what? So I have more to lose.
Do you want your pharmacy back? Why d Why don't you just tell me what you're looking for? - 50/50.
- [chuckles] Assuming you're buying generic Canadian, with your typical drug-dealer markup, your profit margins should be at least five times what I'm making washing your fake cash.
And if it's not, you're doing something wrong, and I'll happily look into that.
You look good behind that desk.
Thank you.
Hell, you'd look so much better on top of it.
Do we have a deal or not? Mm-hmm.
Great.
Where is it? Gratiot and Mack.
- Storage unit? - Keys to the kingdom.
Right By the way I would have taken 40.
[Mattiel's "Count Your Blessings"] Your shoes keep turning different shades of blue The colors of the other fools before you And skin keeps turning different shades of red The colors of the other voice That's swimming in your head Make yourself at home again Count your blessings, one to ten Your body will be whole again Your body will be whole again Make yourself at home again Count your blessings, one to ten No big deal or whatever.
You can just call me the bun ninja.
YouTubed it, right? Take a vacuum cleaner, you suck up the hair.
Sounds crazy and a bit dangerous, but it totally works.
- What? - Take off your pants.
[chuckles] What? Take off your pants now.
Right here? Oh, my God.
Beth.
- No, no, no.
- What do you want? Just tell me what you want.
Just just just do it.
Oh, okay.
Hurry up.
Come on.
Do it.
Arms up.
[blow lands] Arms up! Chin down.
Oh! Excuse me.
Hi, Dean.
- I'm Kenny's dad.
- Mm-hmm.
This has been so, so great for him.
Um, you know, he's got some anxiety stuff, but he's doing so much better now.
He's, uh he's, uh, such a great kid, you know? Yeah, he he thinks you're the you know, the coolest.
[laughing] I don't know about that.
He said you're former Mossad or whatever? - That's the rumor, right? - [both laughing] So is it true? That was a long time ago, man.
- [laughs] - Yeah, yeah.
Did you ever, like, kill a dude? Jesus, man.
- I know, right? - [chuckles] - You're hilarious.
- That would be nuts.
[both laughing] But have you? [laughing wildly] [laughing] [laughter fades]