Good Girls (2018) s03e03 Episode Script

Egg Roll

Previously on "Good Girls" Jesus.
Guess we're back in business.
I made some stupid joke about most movers coming straight out of prison, and the lead guy with the tattoo thingie, his rap sheet reads like a CVS receipt.
Lemonade? He's gonna wash in ways that we can't.
- I'll text you the drop point.
- 50-50, right? - We said 10.
- I meant 50.
Cohen mentioned that you could possibly play a role in our healing.
Remember last winter when we saw that Celica slam into the pickup truck on I-94? - Uh-huh.
- Is that my life? So how is this supposed to work, anyway? Just talk about what's bothering you.
What if it was something you wouldn't like but we wouldn't have to sit next to the bathroom ever again? His daddy's gonna be proud, too.
I thought you said he was gone.
Yeah, and then he'll pop back up like he always does.
- Hey, Mama.
- Daddy! What's up, bub? How you doing? She ain't comin'.
Yeah, we both know how this ends.
So what's up? How you been? Kids good? You know, my boy says Jane's like the superstar forward on the team.
You think they'll make the finals this year or what? Oh.
I gotta show you something.
- Thanks, man.
- Sure thing.
To your aim.
Well, suit yourself.
Well, bottoms up.
You got a lot to celebrate.
Well, you made a beautiful family.
Helped out your community and whatnot.
Hell, I bet they name a wing after you at your kids' school.
Don't do that.
It just puts off what's gonna come anyway.
And then you gotta wait for it, and trust me, that's That's just way worse.
Check it out.
You're my girl, and so I'ma take it easy on you.
I'll do it myself.
Let's get this over with.
What do you say? I'm pregnant.
How was that? - Again.
- Again? Again.
You awake? - Oh, I need that.
- There you go.
Can I sit? Yeah, sure.
- Is it sweet enough for you? - Huh? I put in that low-cal hazelnut stuff.
Um, can you take Danny to his ortho appointment today? I'm sorry, I gotta What has been going on here? Sex? We've done it more in the last few weeks - than we did in high school.
- It's good.
It's like a circus.
Like an awesome Russian traveling kind of circus.
Like the kind with a bear that rides the bike? No, believe me, I am not complaining.
I'm just trying to wrap my head around I guess I just Feel like we're in a better place.
Well, any time you wanna visit more places, I'm Totally, like, TripAdvisor.
Can I shower now? Beth.
I love you.
I'll wake up the kids.
What nights are you working this week? Uh, all of them, if they give me the shifts.
'Cause I'm gonna have to meet the girls for you-know-what.
Egg roll.
- But I didn't even say - Egg roll.
I said you-know-what instead of Egg and roll.
A safe word can't be two words.
Babe, only way this works is if I know nothing.
So it's just egg roll, then? If you don't wanna hear about my job, then I cannot hear about yours.
- Just to be clear - Mm-hmm? - I was about to say - Egg roll.
Animals! Slop's on! No, that's a normal wedgie.
Okay, I'm I'm a bit scared to ask.
It's your job to ask, Josh.
Uh, Dr.
Fine, what's an atomic wedgie? Both sides front and back same time, - equal pressure.
- Oh, my God.
- Yeah, way worse for a girl.
- I'll take your word for it.
You know how they cut those big blocks of cheese - with that wire? - Okay.
And I would, like, get up on a coffee table or the stairs for max yank leverage.
Mm-hmm, nice.
So Beth controlled the remote? Literally every Saturday morning, all I wanted was nine bowls of cereal and "Muppet Babies.
" Uh-huh, and what about now? What do you mean? How do you handle it now when she takes the remote? I have my own TV.
It's a metaphor, Annie.
When she tries to be the boss of you, what do you do? Same, same.
You give you adult sister an atomic wedgie? It's a metaphor, Josh.
Okay, hear me out.
What if your behavior is just reinforcing her behavior? What, you mean like it's my fault that she's a total control freak? Well, instead of acting like a child, maybe try to consider where she's coming from.
You learned all that online? And we're finished.
For good? - Today.
- Hmm.
Oh, send Sally in, will you? She's the brace face with the attitude problem.
Don't tell her I said that.
Mommy, Auntie's here.
Uh, just a minute.
Does that look like a mild sauce to you? - Does it? - Uh-oh.
Mmm, wait.
It gets worse.
Sir, they're all red.
I can't really Why don't you taste it, then, and you tell me? Our boy just got starched at the Bell.
Wait for it.
Oh, no! - Where'd you get this? - Drunk Detroit.
It's hilarious when you don't know the person.
So did he want mild or not want mild? It's unclear, but then the cops tase him and he pulls out the Taser cords like some kind of beast.
- Are you serious? - Yeah, and then they choke him out and arrest him.
- For a damn chalupa? - Mm-hmm.
Guess that's why he never made the drop.
Who are you guys talking about? - This dumbass has our money.
- Again.
I gotta pee.
Mom, Danny won't let me play with him.
- You're too little.
- No, I'm not.
Yes, you are.
You're no fun! - You're supposed to let me play.
- I don't wanna play with you.
Mom! - It's even better with water.
- Oh.
Sorry, I was, um I was just doing research.
Brand specs are in the binders.
No, here come here.
Hop in, hop in.
Come on, I'll show you.
Come on.
All right.
This is a first.
Okay, ready? Close your eyes.
- We have a staff meeting.
- I know, I know, I know.
Trust me.
Close your eyes.
What do you see? - People staring.
- No, on the inside.
Imagine water.
What what does that what does that make you feel? - Silly.
- Okay.
You're in your backyard.
And it's night.
And there's a gentle breeze, there's fireflies, and you got your favorite drink.
- Negroni.
- Perfect.
Now what do you feel? Mm, possibility.
Ooh, that's good.
Possibility's good.
People don't care how things work for the most part, so I just try to sell feelings.
That's really smart.
It's a old trick from the dealership days.
Will you have dinner with me? What? You, me, wine, food, wherever you wanna go.
To talk strategy or some bus-dev or Whatever you need to tell your wife.
Let me know.
I'm open.
Well no wonder people escape.
Look at this.
Right through the metal detector.
- Hey! - Huh? But they take my Flamin' Cheetos? Why do you even have that? What if I have to bust out of a trunk? Meanwhile I get cavity searched.
Which, by the way, methinks she was - a little too into it.
- She was a lot into it.
I'm gonna do all the talking, okay? Why? - Because I hired him.
- She hired him.
Speaking of which, what is the, uh, hierarchy of our new business venture? What are you talking about? - Titles.
- What? Do we have a marketing strategist? Who's head of HR? Who's, say, president? I don't know.
We all share.
Do we? Aren't we all equal? Are we? Thank you so much.
So good to see you.
Please, have a seat.
They said my lawyers were here.
Well, we couldn't say we're friends.
That hurts.
So, where's our, uh, product? - Depends.
- On what? How quick you can get me out of here.
Okay, hold on.
Yeah, we didn't throw down over a gordita.
- That's on you.
- Chalupa.
Okay, well the cops can find it, and then I'll just tell them it's yours.
Sit sit down.
Where is it? - In my van.
- Where is your van? Wherever vans go when you get bagged.
Do not look at me! Nuh-uh.
This is not coming my way.
Not this time.
Fine, you can keep looking.
It's not gonna happen.
Ran into Sunny today.
Mike's wife? Yeah, she came in for acrylics.
- What's the occasion? - You, boo.
Yeah, she says, uh, Mike misses you at the station.
She did? He thinks about you a lot.
She said that? Yeah, maybe you should, uh, give him a call.
You know, catch up.
Please, I see him at softball.
He barely says a word to me.
All right.
I need a van from the impound.
What's in the van? What's in the van, Ruby? Egg roll? You didn't even run into Sunny, did you? Egg roll.
- What's this? - Oh, Jesus! Are you trying to get pregnant? It's not the worst thing.
It's a discussion, at least.
Well, let's have it.
- Okay.
- Okay.
We have a billion kids, Beth.
- We have four.
- It's completely insane.
Why? Because I want it? Because we can't afford the ones we have.
Well, it looks like you already made up your mind.
And what about you using me in some sort of midlife crisis? - Wow, really nice.
- Or whatever the hell this is.
At least I'm having sex with you - and not someone at work.
- Oh, here we go.
Or maybe I should just learn from the best.
That's what it is, isn't it? What are you talking about? The crazy, the toys, the acrobatics, the outfits.
That's sex, Dean.
Am I just a sperm bank? Did you dye your hair? You know wh what really sucks? For like a second there we felt like us again.
I'm sorry.
I sh I don't want another kid.
- Okay, there you go.
- Okay.
You like oranges? Okay.
Why don't you take two? I don't know what you know.
But I know you know enough to hate my guts, so Hey, way to hustle, Hanna.
I know it sounds stupid, but I was just trying to make it right.
- Does it come without seeds? - Um, try this one.
Or at least make it better for you guys.
- I thought that - Seed! Eat it, Hayden.
It was selfish and creepy and messed up, and I would take it all back if I could and Janet, can you bring me some more wipes? Sure.
I need your help.
I'm not pregnant.
- Can we have a play date? - Please? - No.
- No, you have piano.
He will kill me when he finds out.
Thanks for the loan.
Do we have to invite Uncle Jack? He just gets so wasted.
Fine, but then he can't sit by any of the nieces.
No, that's not me, Mom.
That's the court.
No, I gotta dip.
They need me in surgery.
Yeah, subdural hematoma.
I gotta scrub in stat for the craniotomy.
Love you.
So, how's your mom? Crazier than ever.
So what's the deal? She thinks you're some kind of brain doctor? Surgical assistant.
- Must be hard keeping that up.
- What do you mean? Living with all those lies.
She wouldn't take my money if she knew where it really came from.
This way, I can take care of her.
- Oh.
- Hmm? All right.
I'm like her hero.
Give you something to celebrate in the champagne room.
Right? Half my time in there goes to her blackjack problem.
Hey, Mi Yeah, yeah.
What's up, buddy? Mm-hmm.
No, no, I just, um, uh, really been thinking about you, man.
Well, kinda need a favor, actually.
- How much was bail? - A lot.
What's a lot? Everything we made.
For throwing down over some hot sauce? It's not his first rodeo.
Apparently the judge called him a flight risk.
- This idiot's so not worth it.
- He's all we have.
- Yo, where's my rig? - You don't see it? Yeah We weren't embarrassed at all driving it.
So we back in business? Soon as we fire up the presses.
We're gonna need a little break.
- Why? - Yeah, why? It's really not a good time.
Uh, we just spent everything we had on that little bail out.
Well, I'm getting a lot of heat at work, okay? - From who? - From the owner.
- Dorothy? - Can I go now? We'll call you.
You're worried about an 80-year-old with cataracts.
I mean, if she's asking questions She asked me what grade I was in, but sure.
Bitch's bringing the heat.
Keys? Oh, sorry.
We'll get up and running, okay? Yeah, today.
Don't go anywhere.
- You can go.
- Do not go.
You just can't help yourself.
What's your problem? What it always is.
I am dealing with so much right now.
- I just need you to - You're dealing.
- You need.
- Oh, my God.
Because you're the president.
I am not the president! Oh, I'm sorry.
CEO, Admiral, Captain my Captain.
Whatever you want me to call it.
I'm dead.
That's not a title.
He's alive.
What? How? He just is.
- I'm just saying - Don't.
Even if you gave - a sharpshooter three bullets - Do not.
With specific instructions not to hit any vital organs, it would be physically impossible.
How are you helping? - This is how I process.
- Can I have another? So you have a nine month solution to a permanent problem.
Three months.
Maybe four.
What are you gonna do? I'm gonna drink this and then I'm gonna have another.
Sorry I called you a president.
You didn't know.
You should have told us.
I was afraid he'd come after you guys.
Beth, let's go to the cops.
Then we're all in jail and I still get shivved in the yard.
Well It's actually much more common to get shanked.
What's the difference? A shank's got a sharp edge, you know? Like a scrap of metal from the license plate shop or the top of a can of baked beans, whereas a shiv is more like when you melt down a toothbrush or a bunch of Jolly Rangers to a fine point.
You know, it takes fire.
It's just it's a lot more work.
Can we Postmates some French fries? We can do anything you want.
The thing is nobody should have nine bowls of Oops! All Berries.
I mean, really, you shouldn't even have one.
And and I would have watched TV until my face melted off if she had let me, so I have no business holding that remote.
This is not your session.
Can I go to the bathroom? Yeah.
Yeah, sure.
It's just down the hall, to the left.
Fiona walked in on her parents making love last night.
- Eww.
- Right? No, you.
Who says "making love"? Question, what is Oops! All Berries? Well, it's not berries, and it's definitely on purpose.
I would thank Cap'n Crunch, but he's the genius who discontinued his own masterpiece.
So your sister was trying to protect you? She still is.
Is that so bad? Who's gonna protect her? Hmm.
You know what they call this in the biz? A breakthrough.
How is that gross? It's how you said it.
It's a good thing.
What am I supposed to do with it? Well, now you know where she's coming from.
Changes the whole dynamic.
So am I, like, cured? Mm, not till that deadbeat ex of yours pays me.
Hey now.
How you feeling, Mama? Nauseous.
Let's go for a drive.
Get some air.
I should get these inside.
There's ice cream.
Get in the car, Elizabeth.
You got a sec? I was just on with corporate telling them about my new star.
Um Are you o you okay? - You can't quit.
- Yeah, it's just, uh Dinner.
- What'd you decide? - I really want to.
- Great.
- But I can't.
- I mean, I I could.
- Which is it, Dean? Well, back at the dealership, I had lots of dinners.
Couple times a week, even.
All different kinds of cuisine.
'Cause I was a foodie.
I mean, there was no dinner that I didn't like, and now I'm really, really trying to eat more at home.
I just think it's healthier, you know? For my marriage.
- I get it.
- You do? Totally.
I mean, it's not that I'm not hungry.
We're good.
I love working here.
We really love having you, Dean.
Well Thank you for understanding.
Oh, uh, that contractor you connected me with, I got him on the hook for eight aqua jets for his condo development.
You know what? Why don't you have Tony close that one? But I've already done the heavy lifting.
I'm gonna need you in barbecue accessories.
- Putting me on tongs? - Is that a problem? No.
I'll just go fill Tony in.
Your first? No, no.
When are you due? You know, that's a good question.
Honey? I guess that's why we're here, then, huh? How crazy to think there's a tiny human in there.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, it almost doesn't feel real.
I'm gonna use the bathroom.
No, chill, chill, chill, chill, chill.
They're gonna need it.
When was the positive test? A couple of weeks ago.
Date of your last period? I d I don't know.
Any idea when you conceived? Come on, darling.
You remember? I hit it in the bedroom when your husband was at work.
I put it on the form.
Oh, there it is.
Well, it's, uh, probably too soon to see a heartbeat, so for today we'll just take some blood to confirm.
- How long does that take? - About a day or two.
Thank you so much.
In the meantime, watch the alcohol, no sushi, - no deli meat just to be safe.
- Got it.
Okay, see you in a few weeks.
- Hey, Doc.
- Yeah? It couldn't hurt to try, right? Well, it depends on how far along.
Let's fire it up.
I mean, what's the point if we can't see anything, right? - Lay back.
- Come on.
Got a super excited daddy here.
That's right.
Just relax.
You all right? How's Marcus doing? Oh, bad as ever.
Yeah, he keeps me on my toes, though.
- Huh.
- What's that? Congratulations.
Strong implantation.
Healthy sac.
- Lining's nice and thick.
- I don't see anything.
Well, you go to eight years of med school, then take a look.
Anything else? Paternity test.
Oh, you can do that in about a month.
Thank you so much.
Thank your friend.
Everything okay? - Big day.
- Yeah? - What happened? - With what? - You know, egg roll.
- Oh.
Can we switch to calamari or something? - I'm sick of thinking about - There you go.
- No more safe words.
- Yay.
So, apparently your son dropped the F-bomb at school today.
- What? - Mm-hmm.
And Ms.
Rodner also said that he was going around the playground asking other kids if they would like to see his coccyx.
You know, that mickey fickey told me my epidermis was showing last week.
He said that? Yeah, I spent an hour in the mirror checking for my underwear.
Boy, I tell you, even if it ain't dirty, that boy'll make it dirty.
Hey, will you stop? Rodner also said that we should make a swear jar.
You know, have him put, like, a quarter or something in there and do something good with the money.
Oh, we can open a church with that potty mouth.
How much you got on you? - Like, 40 bucks.
- Okay.
Put half in there.
- I didn't say coccyx.
- For the van.
- Right now? - Yes, or for any other time that you're gonna have to say egg roll.
We're not bad people, Stan.
No, baby, we're good people who do bad things.
- How long have you been at it? - Two hours.
Fine, four.
Dude, you're done.
I have a social studies test.
You always do this.
You study way too much and then you burn yourself out - and you choke.
- Harsh.
Come on.
Take a break.
Come on.
Let's go.
What's mexyldreselthate? Brain food.
Okay, here you go.
Eh? Take a bite.
- It's stale.
- Mmm.
Needs some more milk.
It'll soften it up a little.
Mm-hmm, so what you wanna do is you just keep replenishing until the milk's gone, okay? And then the sugar rush keeps you jacked up enough to get through the six-hour cartoon marathon.
How did you survive childhood? Auntie Beth.
My tongue tastes Blue? Just go with it.
I really have to study.
Someday you'll thank me.
Okay, one, two, three.
Lift off! Push me to the moon! Mommy'll be right back.
Oh, come on, baby.
Let's go.
- Come on.
- Hey, hey, hold up! My shoe! Hey, will you just hang on! What? I just wanna know why.
You're a mom.
But he's not dumb.
Let's go.
Hey, where are the kids? Upstairs.
What's going on? I tried telling him to leave.
What? Who? Says his boss needs him to keep an eye on you.
Who's his boss, Beth? There's something I have to tell you.

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