Gortimer Gibbon's Life on Normal Street (2014) s01e04 Episode Script

I've lived my whole life
on Normal Street.
There's a lake at one end,
and a forest of shady trees
at the other.
But what lies in between
is anything but normal.
They say that
ignorance is bliss,
and they have a point.
If you don't know
about bad stuff,
sadness, pain, loss,
then you probably would be
pretty happy.
But would you really be
yourself?
Would you?
I learned the answer once,
and all I'll say is
the next time you see
a #2 pencil with
strange writing on it,
be very, very careful.
[sighs]
One Arctic Sludgy.
Technically, two.
You don't know
how to negotiate.
Okay, pretend I'm Mel.
Gortimer, I need
you and Ranger to clean
my telescope lenses,
because I can't because I'm
allergic to the lens fluid,
so what if I pay you guys
one Arctic Sludgy a piece?
Okay.
[sighs] For cranberry sake.
Wrong!
Okay, you be Mel,
I'll be you.
Hold on.
See, this gives me
an advantage in the
negotiation.
Go ahead, Mel.
So, Gortimer,
two Arctic Sludgies
sounds fair to me
since you guys are
my best friends,
and I would do
the same for you.
Sound good?
We want 100
Arctic Sludgies. Each.
- And new bikes.
- No deal.
No, no, no.
You're supposed to
counter-offer.
Like half.
So you would say
50 Arctic Sludgies
and one new bike
for you to share.
We should get
back to work.
[sighs]
But we could have
had a new bike.
Maybe I wasn't high up enough
to be really intimidating.
Mel's diary.
Close it.
Put it back.
Okay. We should
think this over.
You've literally
never said that before.
Come on, diaries are
really private,
just put it back.
But, what if--
Yeah, you're right.
We should.
- Uh-oh.
- Ranger!
I didn't mean to.
Oh, that was bad.
This is bad.
Just don't tell me.
Wait. Is it really bad?
Maybe you should tell me.
Just tell me.
[sighs]
Mel has a crush on you.
What?
- Sh-- she can't.
- She does.
No, no, no, no.
That-- that's what it says?
She's coming.
Don't say anything.
- Are you sure?
- Yes!
You guys aren't done?
Uh-- yeah.
[stammers]
Almost.
You're really sweating.
Here, drink this.
Thanks.
Feel better?
- Why are you
being so nice?
- What?
I mean, why--
why the sudden interest
in my body temperature?
I'm confused.
Never mind.
So, uh, Mel, you know how
sometimes in life
you have a telescope
that you're really close to,
and then
something changes,
and you start to feel
differently about that
telescope,
but the telescope
might not always feel
exactly the same--
What?
Did you break my telescope?
Uh, yes, he did.
That one.
Gortimer!
Actually, Mel,
I did break it.
I guess that would
make you really hate me,
which I completely
understand.
It's fine.
You forgive me that fast?
You should really be
tougher on people.
The telescope is fine.
You just forgot to
take the dust cap off.
Oh. Wow.
[chuckles]
That was dumb.
I have to go.
So does Ranger.
You're being weird.
Gortimer is weird.
Trust me.
It takes one to know one.
Let's go, weirdo.
But you guys aren't done.
We can't be trusted
around this equipment.
Yeah, just keep
the Arctic Sludgies.
Bye.
Maybe you
read it wrong.
It's pretty clear.
Maybe I should just try to
hypnotize myself,
and forget about
the whole thing.
Can I borrow your watch?
[phone rings]
Union Bakery,
Ranger speaking.
How can I help you?
Mm-hm.
Okay.
And what can we
get you today?
Okay, great.
And your address?
Yes, sir.
Thanks. Bye.
It didn't work.
I remember everything.
Hey, Mom. This guy Fred
just called and ordered--
A birthday cake.
Wow. Yeah.
Here's the order.
Wow. Thorough.
Good job.
Cookie cutters.
Uh, Mrs. Bowen.
How can a boy tell
if a girl likes him,
like for sure?
You know,
hypothetically?
Mm, mm-hmm.
More talkative.
Change in outfit.
Maybe more makeup.
Makeup. More talkative.
Different clothes.
Thanks, Mrs. Bowen.
I'll be back soon.
[knocking]
I knew it.
It's too bright, isn't it?
- What?
- The lip gloss.
It's, uh-- uh-- fine.
You've been acting strange,
and your perspiration levels
are seriously spiking.
I'm worried about you.
Of course, many factors
may account for this.
Too much exercise,
hot weather.
Have you been
exerting yourself
more than unusual?
Mrs. Bowen:
More talkative.
Change in outfit.
Maybe more makeup.
Also, excessive
zinc intake could--
No, we need to talk.
About why I've been
acting so weird lately.
[sighs] Finally.
Well, the thing is
you're one of
my best friends.
And I just want you
to know that.
I already know that.
And I want it to
stay that way.
Why wouldn't it?
Oh, you're really
sweating again.
Come here.
Yeah, yeah, I--
I-- I don't feel
very good.
Sorry, I--
I gotta go.
[sighs]
Why is she doing this to me?
To us.
This affects me, too.
Wait, do you like Mel?
No.
Yes.
Not that way.
I just always thought that,
you know,
the three of us
being friends was just--
Understood?
Exactly.
And if she likes me,
it'll just mess everything up,
and--
[sighs]
I wish I never knew anything
about this stupid diary.
I'm sorry,
did you want me to help?
No. I love mopping.
Hey, Ranger.
Delivery, please.
Oh. This is Fred.
I took his order earlier,
he said it was a pick up.
Oh, yeah, he forgot.
Again.
Keeps ordering
birthday cakes,
keeps forgetting to
pick 'em up.
I wish I could
forget like that.
No, you don't.
Now, please?
Uh, can I come with you?
Sure, but you can't
whine about Mel.
This is really
worst case scenario.
There's no going back.
Remembering when
life was simpler.
Just the three of us
hanging out in
the observatory.
It feels like
so long ago.
It was this morning.
We were so naive then.
Hello.
Delivery, sir.
Four birthday cakes.
Oh, wow.
That looks pretty good.
But I didn't
order any cakes.
Actually,
maybe I did order them.
Or did I?
Bear with me, please.
I know I have
a birthday coming up,
so it makes sense
I would have ordered them.
But four?
That's really bizarre.
Um--
Sorry, just looking for
some money for you here.
Take your time, sir.
Call me Fred. Please.
Uh, maybe there?
Oh, perfect.
Sorry, I put up
all these signs
because, uh--
Why did I?
Plato.
For someone who
forgets so much,
you really seem happy.
I guess I am.
Lucky me.
Oh, you can put
the cakes down right there.
Ah.
Strange I would have
ordered cakes for myself.
I guess I didn't remember
if anyone was throwing a
party for me.
I got a big birthday
coming up. Turning 30.
Oh.
No, it's okay.
I mean, there are a lot of
things I hoped I would do
by the time I turned 30.
Write a novel.
Become fluent in Japanese.
Learn trombone.
Start a charity for
forgetful kids.
Get married.
But, uh--
you know, none of that
really, uh--
[sighs]
Time is a thief, boys.
Time is a thief.
Come on.
30 isn't that old.
It isn't?
Fred, are you okay?
Oh, don't worry about me.
I'll be just
fine?
"Write down what you
want to forget,
"then erase it all."
Wow.
My 30th birthday.
Gosh, I-- I'm sorry.
Remind me why you guys
are here again?
Uh, we're delivering
the cakes
from Union Bakery.
Cakes.
Right, but see,
there was a
misunderstanding,
and we accidentally
made them birthday cakes,
but don't pay any
attention to that,
because it's--
it's not your birthday.
Huh. Okay, wow.
Hey, they look great.
So, Fred,
how did you end up here
on Normal Street?
What's your story?
Hmm, well, let's see.
There's not really
much to tell.
I grew up on Normal Street,
just me and my parents,
and this really great dog.
I can't really remember
what happened to the dog.
And I went to school and I
really liked to pole vaunt.
And I had this big race once,
but anyway,
then there was this
really sweet girl,
and I remember going to
a jeweler,
I bought this pretty ring.
Oh, yeah, then I
started writing a novel,
which actually turned out
to be pretty good,
but I can't really remember
what happened there.
There was some other woman,
that was going well.
Another dog, maybe.
[dog barks]
And
well, that pretty much
brings us up to date.
What a story.
Strange about this
birthday thing.
I wonder when my birthday is?
Probably best not to
think about it.
Hey, Fred, I was wondering.
Do you think I could
borrow your pencil?
[laughs]
Oh, really?
Uh, gee, fellas,
I think I'm gonna need this.
Please? It's important.
No, I'm sorry.
It could help somebody
in a really big way.
I'll bring it back
later today.
I promise.
It's okay.
You can trust us.
Don't forget that.
I know you think
this is a bad idea.
And-- and look,
Fred may be strange,
but he's really nice
and he's happy.
Plus, he uses the pencil
all the time.
That's why he's so weird.
We're only gonna use it once.
As long as we're
really specific about
what we want to erase,
it'll be fine, right?
And really,
I can't talk to
Mel about this.
It'd be crazy, right?
Why are you
torturing me?
I didn't say anything.
Exactly.
Okay, I'll do it first,
we'll see if it works,
and then you'll do it.
No way.
Do what you want,
but I'm not touching
that thing.
[sighs]
I'll live with the knowledge
and I'll keep my mouth shut.
Fine.
Okay.
Anything
about
Mel's
diary.
How do you feel?
Fine.
Do you remember anything
about us finding Mel's diary,
and the entry where she said
she had a crush on you?
Well, now I do.
All right,
lesson learned.
Do it again.
Gortimer.
Hi, Mom.
Hey. I'm gonna take Gardner
to the park.
You boys want to come?
- Sure.
- Great.
You can bring Mel, too.
Who's Mel?
I'm not sure I get the joke.
Uh, we'll grab Mel and
meet you at the park.
Okay.
You don't know Mel?
Mel Fuller?
Uh, never heard of him.
[sighs]
You only erased
anything about Mel.
I don't get what
the big deal is.
It's just
somebody named Mel.
Oh, scallops.
Then you misspelled
the word confidante,
but Mel spelled it right,
so you got second place
and she got first place
in the spelling bee.
Then she went on to
win the district and
came in fourth at states.
You don't remember that?
No. Good for her,
though.
She even made--
Anything?
No, but I'll always know
how to spell confidante.
[sighs] This isn't funny.
I'm sorry. I don't see
what the problem is here.
The only thing I learned
from that story is that
I lost the spelling bee.
I'm kinda glad
I don't remember that.
But it was so big for Mel.
We were all cheering for her.
She's your blood sibling.
My only blood sibling
is Gardner.
I'm your blood sibling.
What?
That time the three of us
were chasing fireflies
in Mr. Rodriguez's
backyard,
and we all tripped over
that tree stump
and skinned our knees.
And then I said
we should all be
blood siblings.
So we rubbed our
bloody knees together?
Gross.
No. Mel said
that wasn't sanitary,
so we just all said
that we were gonna be
blood siblings,
like, permanently.
Sorry. Sounds nice,
but I don't remember it.
This is a disaster.
We have to talk to Mel.
Well, the good news is
I feel fine anyway.
It's all fine.
And you know what?
Friends come and go.
That's just the way
the world works.
Not in my world.
[knocking]
Come in.
Hey, guys.
Gortimer,
look who it is.
Hi, uh, Mel.
You're Mel, right?
I don't have time for this.
My mom's getting an award and
we're all going to banquet now.
That's why I'm all dressed up
and wearing these stupid heels.
Lock up behind you, please.
Have fun.
Congratulations
to your mom.
[sighs]
You okay?
No, and neither are you.
[knocking]
Hey, guys.
Your mind eraser
erased too much.
You need to help us.
I mean, I feel bad,
but I don't really know
how to get the memories back.
I never really
wanted 'em back.
As far as I know.
See? You know what
you should do?
You should
forget about Mel, too.
Then you won't have to worry.
See, now,
that's a great idea.
No, no, no.
That pencil's dangerous.
I can't let you
use it again.
Whoa, be careful.
You-- you might break it.
If it brings
my friends back.
Hey, you don't know that.
What if we break the pencil,
but then we never get back
the memories we forgot?
Then at least you can't
erase anything else.
I think this is a bad idea.
Please let go. Okay?
I need it.
Fred, I know you've had
some tough times,
and I'm a little worried
about Plato,
but erasing every bad thing
that crosses your mind?
It's not right.
It's not human.
You think you're happy,
but you're just empty.
And Gortimer didn't just
erase his bad memories.
He erased our
whole friendship.
We were best friends.
I can't remember my friends.
Please.
Okay.
Okay?
Okay.
One.
Two.
Three.
[snapping]
What?
I remember everything.
Oh, no, no, no,
this was so dumb.
We have to tell Mel
first thing in the morning.
Why? If we talk to her,
then she'll know what we did.
That's the point.
Well, Fred?
Fred, are you okay?
Fred, I'm so sorry,
I didn't know.
I, uh--
I think I'll be fine.
Thank you.
Thank you very much.
You did what?!
We're really sorry.
That diary is
really private.
All diaries are private.
Everyone knows that.
[sighs] It's my fault.
I'm the one who read it.
I'm just as guilty.
All right,
what did you read?
You have to tell me,
and promise never to
bring it up again.
Deal.
It said that you
had a crush on Gortimer.
What?!
It doesn't say that anywhere.
Sure it does.
It said all that stuff
about how you can't stop
looking at Gortimer,
and how hot he is.
[sighs]
"Lately, I can't stop
looking at Gortimer.
"I tried to,
but I can't.
"It's so distracting.
He always looks so hot."
Gross. Please stop.
Keep reading.
"For instance, yesterday
he was giving his book report,
"and his whole face
was covered
"in sweat.
"I felt terrible for him.
"Does it just happen
when he gets nervous?
"Perhaps it's
related to his glands.
"I must figure out a
delicate way to tell him."
That wasn't very delicate.
What are you smiling at?
It was a dumb mistake.
We can all stay friends.
This is perfect.
This is far from perfect.
You read my diary.
That's a terrible
breach of privacy.
We're really sorry, Mel.
Can we make it up to you?
Oh, I know exactly how
you'll make it up to me.
So we finally
finished our job.
Part one of our job.
It wasn't any fun to see
Mel so mad at us,
but let's face it,
we deserved it.
And even though it was tough,
I can assure you,
because I've seen
both sides now,
very angry Mel
is much better than
no Mel at all.
We got those windows
spotless.
It took a while,
but things finally
worked out.
And the apology cupcake
didn't hurt, either.
[sighs]
I forgive you both.
Let's just forget
it all ever happened.
No, don't say that.
I'll tell you about it
sometime.
You know,
it's weird.
Now I kind of wish
you did have a crush on me.
What? Why?
Because it's better than
the sweating thing.
I mean, it really is
embarrassing.
Do people know about it?
Do people talk about it?
Oh, great,
it's happening.
Gortimer,
just calm down,
and get a stronger
antiperspirant.
I wish I could forget
this awkward conversation.
I don't.
We're best friends.
Best friends have to be
honest with each other.
I agree.
But can we never talk about
this sweating thing again?
[bell rings]
Hey.
Hey, guys.
How are ya?
Great, Fred.
Uh, how are you?
Well, finishing up my novel.
Got a new girlfriend.
I got a new dog.
Ari.
Short for Aristotle.
Hey, Fred,
here's your order.
Thanks, Vicki.
Oh, no.
Did you order more cakes?
Is it happening again?
Not at all.
Turns out I forgot
seven of my birthdays,
so I'm gonna celebrate 'em
all at once.
You guys should come.
If you're lucky,
you have friends
who'll be there for you
through all the times that
you don't want to remember.
A little help, please.
And through all the times that you don't want to forget.