Grantchester (2014) s04e03 Episode Script
Series 4, Episode 3
For any occasion or just every day, we can help you in every way.
Find toys for baby, dresses for Mum, cigars for Daddy, all at Swinnertons! Swinnertons.
What's the electricity bill for this place? Oh, this is nothing.
You should see Home Appliances downstairs.
In five years' time, I'll never have to set foot in a kitchen again.
Catherine Keating! Is this the husband or the fancy man?! Ooh Come on! Hands off, you lot, this one's mine.
[GIGGLES.]
- And now, the inside leg.
- To the left.
- Cathy? - Oh, don't worry, we talk about everything in here.
- Oi! - Oh, left it is.
You are going to love Renato's for your anniversary dinner.
The Peach Melba is divine.
"Divine.
" And you are going to look just as delicious when we're finished with you.
I'll fetch some fabric.
He's a bit Do you think? That's what Dotty says, but Sandra swears he isn't.
He's lovely, though, isn't he? He knows all the latest trends, all the places to go.
I don't see what's wrong with this suit.
It's old-fashioned.
You want something slimmer in the leg.
Look.
Besides, you deserve a bit of cheering up.
I'm fine.
Think you miss him more than I do.
Bloody jazz, woman troubles Nice to have a bit of peace for a change.
There what do you think? Does this mean I'm hip now? [DOOR KNOCKS.]
Now, what about sharkskin? It's the fabric of the future.
MUSIC: 'The Great Pretender' by The Platters "Taking a new step.
"Uttering a new word, is what people fear most.
" That was Russian writer, Fyodor Dostoevsky, in his seminal novel Crime and Punishment.
- [BARKING.]
- 'But what would he know?' The Russians can't go 50 years without one revolution or another.
[LAUGHTER.]
I like to think that every end, no matter how sad The father.
- 'Is a new beginning.
' - [BABY CRIES.]
'We should walk into the future with our heads held high 'and our hearts open to new possibilities, to hope.
' - Dickens! Sit! Sit! - 'We don't need a revolution here.
' Good boy.
A new broom, maybe, or maybe even an old broom that you'd forgotten - at the back of the cupboard.
- [LAUGHTER.]
But if you use it like Mrs Chapman wields hers at the vicarage then we can all look forward to a fresh and happy future for many years to come.
[COUGHING.]
Yes? Inspector Keating.
I'm here about the break-in.
- Inspector?! - You are Mr Amery? Ah, no! I wish.
To be young again, eh? I-I think there's been a bit of a misunderstanding.
You see, Mr Amery thought there was a break-in, but, erm, there wasn't, it was only me.
- And you are? - Alex.
Professor Alex Simms.
- Well, may I speak to Mr Amery? - Er Mr Amery! Police here for you.
You see what I mean? Bright young thing.
Tell him what we established.
You reported a break-in? Yes, sir, um, I came in and, er Yes, it was me here all along.
I was working late.
That's not unusual.
We're on a deadline.
And you are? Jean Simms, Head of Computing.
- My beautiful wife! - Thank you.
So, what exactly led you to believe there was a break-in in the first place? The locks are intact.
Well, it was it was just that things were out of place, um - my cup was broken - Oh, I'll get you a new one! Bloody programmers.
One-track mind.
Yes, sir.
Sorry, sir.
But you were first one in this morning Oh, for heaven's sake, are we still talking about this?! - Well, I thought so.
- I just stepped out to get some air.
Is anyone else feeling warm? There, is that better? May I ask if you've been drinking, Professor? Maybe last night.
Not a crime now, is it? I'll be the judge of that.
Are you sure you didn't have a bit more than normal? Argh Karla! Karla! Sorry.
Sorry - Can you check this reader? - I-I've already checked it Then why isn't she working? "Dear Sir, I am writing to commend Mr L.
Finch "on a sterling job since Mr S.
Chambers' untimely departure, "some weeks ago" - Mrs C - It's true.
"In all my years as a dedicated churchgoer, "I can safely say I have never seen a finer interregnum.
" - Me either.
- "I would strongly recommend Mr Finch "for the permanent role as Vicar of Grantchester.
"I look forward to hearing your positive response.
"Sincerely, Mrs Sylvia Chapman.
PS "The weathercock still requires urgent attention.
" Hear, hear! It's very kind, but I'm not sure that's how it works.
We'll see.
The church council can make things very difficult for the diocese, indeed.
They still have to send their candidate to the churchwardens for their consent.
No harm in getting in early.
And I can tell you, she does not consent to much.
No, I do not.
Professor Simms, what exactly were you working on last night? - Lytham's.
- Teashops.
Processing their stocking and restocking.
We mostly do research for the university, but work for local businesses helps to keep UNIAC's lights on.
- UNIAC? - 'University Automatic Calculator.
' - It's his baby.
- Maniac, more like.
It's the future, Inspector.
Imagine one of these in every workplace.
- Don't think it would fit.
- Not this one, it's old, but the newer ones are smaller.
More efficient.
- More reliable.
- They're untested.
And they can do much more than stocking teashops.
I-I-In the future, they'll be able to do everything maybe even your job, one day, Inspector.
No need to look so threatened.
We're still a long way from that.
- Not necessarily.
- Think of all the extra time you'll have to drink, dance and love.
Off.
- I doubt it's that easy.
- Everything is programmable, Inspector.
Take one of your cases, for example, your deduction would be based on a set of probabilities, presuppositions, - and, of course, evidence.
- [CLATTERS.]
Is there motive? Yes or no? Is there proof? - Yes or no? - Alex? Are they guilty? Yes or no? If you ask enough questions in the right sequence, the program, and then you put the answers together, then you have your result, isn't that right? [GASPS.]
- [RETCHING.]
- Sit down! Are you all right? - Oh, God.
- What? The mercury.
Out! Everybody, out! [WHEEZING.]
[CLATTERS, THUD.]
Alex? Alex? Alex? Alex? Why the need for so much mercury? Electrical pulses move more slowly through the mercury, meaning it can store data.
Like a memory.
Please, give me a minute.
Please.
He's my husband, I want to talk to him.
He'll be fine.
These mercury tanks, do they break by themselves? It's possible, they're temperature-sensitive.
But not likely, they're metal tubes inside a wooden box.
So it must have been sabotage.
- Who else has access to the Lab? - Just the four of us.
And would the professor ever bring people back? Students.
Clients, obviously.
- But after hours? - What are you getting at, Inspector? Professor Simms did admit he spent the night there, which explains the prolonged exposure to the mercury fumes.
I just wondered if he was alone, because whoever was with him could be a suspect.
Are you saying someone could've broken the tanks on purpose? No, Alex is a kind man.
He is a wonderful husband and teacher, I can't imagine anyone would want to hurt him.
It's more likely he banged into the box drunk and hadn't realised, knowing him.
They said they did everything they could.
I'm sorry.
- What do you think you're doing? - Oh, sorry, I was on my break I wanted something new to wear to dinner, but I just thought, whilst it was quiet No, it's fine, but that? Too young? Colour brings out the flush on your decolletage.
- Flush? - What we need is something - that plays to your strengths.
- An apron? - [HE LAUGHS.]
- Come on.
I think I saw, before, something that might just be the thing.
Ooh! These were the ones that were broken.
A boot maybe, a hammer? Imagine, though, a machine having a memory.
- Can it remember who did it? - Don't think so.
Not much good to us, then, is it? Can I ask what it is you're looking for, Guv? Clues, Larry.
Evidence.
"Application for new computer.
" No.
Something out of place Unusual.
The Professor didn't want us poking round, which suggests he's got something to hide.
Question is what? And his wife might wanna believe he was on his own last night - [CLATTERS.]
- I'm not so sure.
So, the next question is who was he with? You see, the hourglass look narrows your waist and makes the most of everything else.
You think? They'll be putting you in the window, dressed like that.
SHE GASPS: Geordie'll kill me - if he finds out how much it costs.
- It's your anniversary.
Does he know how much his suit was yet? - I hid the receipt.
- [CHUCKLES.]
Then we've got two little secrets.
Ooh! Nice suit.
What is that? Italian? Well, haven't you heard? I've gone part-time as a gigolo.
- [LAUGHS.]
- Anything juicy? - Killer robot.
- What? Inspector thinks the victim was having an affair.
Oh, yeah? He was hiding something.
He's got previous.
"Importuning.
Arrested, but not charged.
" - How'd he manage that, then? - Professor.
The type with friends in high places.
"Importuning"? For immoral purposes.
On Jesus Green.
After dark.
He's a pansy, Larry! Oh! Oh, right.
But he's married.
- Hello and welcome, everyone.
- That's a bit too casual.
What's wrong with the pulpit? Sidney never liked to use it.
He said it put a barrier between him and the congregation.
Well, you're not Sidney and you shouldn't try to be.
You're wonderful as you are.
Now, come on.
- I'll show - No.
Not here.
I told him you were busy, Mr Finch.
That this wasn't a branch of the local constabulary anymore.
- You're here to see me? - Thank you, Mrs Chapman.
Well, I was just wondering whether you knew anything about the Greeks.
The Greeks? He's a vicar, not a travel agent.
As in literature.
It's for a case I'm working on.
Oh, here we go.
"To my Zeus, I'll be your Ganymede," signed, "B".
I've been led to believe the victim associated with other men who had an interest in the Greeks.
Well, Ganymede was said to be the most beautiful of all mortals, so much so that Zeus abducted him to be his cup-bearer.
Right.
And would you have any idea where university men with such shared interests might be likely to congregate? Maybe the classics department? I think the Inspector means socially, where men of the same interest What's "same", again, in Greek? Homo.
Oh! Oh I see.
What've you got against the Greeks? Well, I wouldn't really know.
There is one place.
Ganymede may have a double meaning.
You know, you really didn't have to come.
So, how would you and Sidney play this? Do we stake it out? I was just gonna go in and ask a few questions.
They won't talk to you as a policeman.
So, what do you suggest? Actually, you'll be fine in that suit.
INHALES: All right, follow my lead.
Gentlemen, I don't believe we've had the pleasure.
We are as unversed as Artemisa herself.
Ah, but you know your myths.
And that is a fabulous suit.
If you please, sign the register, and then follow me into the lounge.
Thank you.
"Sidney Chambers"? I didn't want to write my real name.
Same handwriting.
So, we're looking for a Robert Hazelwood, if that's his real name.
- He was in last night.
- Ingenious.
Elementary, even! After you.
Oh, come on, it's hardly gonna be Sodom and Gomorrah.
Is it? Tom Collins.
Everybody's drinking them stateside.
Oh! [LAUGHS.]
"Stateside.
" Ooh.
So, come on then, why ain't you married? Well, you say all the right things, you know your drinks - from your dresses - [HE LAUGHS.]
Just not found the right girl? How do you think I keep my finger on the pulse? By staying single.
Free and easy.
No house to run.
No kids turning me grey.
It doesn't sound much, I'll give you that, but I wouldn't swap it for the world.
Ooh, it's gone straight to my head! [CHATTER.]
- Are you all right? - I shouldn't have come.
It's practically Dionysian.
- Is that near Athens? - It means debauched, frenzied.
I wouldn't go that far.
Look more like business types to me academics, lawyers.
Probably how Simms got off his importuning charge.
Gentlemen.
This is your boy.
He will fetch you your drinks.
Actually, we're looking for a friend of ours, Robert Hazelwood.
Right.
You wouldn't happen to know where we might find him? We do not make introductions.
We do not hold information.
We are simply an Ancient Greek-inspired drinking club.
That is all.
Now what would you like? Do you do pints? Something stiff.
Large.
Mrs Simms? Oi! Efcharisto! Mrs Simms! Mrs Simms! Stop! I'll cut her off! - [BICYCLE BELL RINGS.]
- Argh! I'm terribly sorry.
Sorry! I know your name.
I know where you work.
It's not going to be difficult to find your address.
- [PANTING.]
- That's right turn around.
Sorry.
It's been a trying time.
Stop, police! Thank you, Leonard! - Watch your step, Mrs Keating.
- Oh, I will! It can go straight to your head.
Why do you think I drink them? I've got you an anniversary present.
Oh, Anthony! You shouldn't have.
- Not at all.
- [SHE LAUGHS.]
It's the least I can do.
Anthony?! [GRUNTS.]
No! Yes! [GRUNTS.]
SHOUTS: No! Go on, then, tell him! Tell him what you were doing on your anniversary! What were you doing there, Jean? I just fancied a drink.
Then why did you run when you saw us? You knew about your husband's proclivities? I knew what Alex was, if that's what you mean? - Why didn't you tell me? - Why do you think? It'd ruin his reputation - tarnish his work, our work.
- What were you doing at the Ganymede? Much the same as you, I'd imagine, Inspector.
I was looking for the man he was with last night.
You know who "B" is.
This is the man that could've killed your husband.
No.
I don't think that.
Because they were in love.
They were happy.
I just thought he might've seen something.
Perhaps he could help.
I could go back to the Ganymede with a warrant.
Start arresting people for gross indecency until I find him.
Inspector.
If you think this man could help find out the truth about Alex, then let us help find him.
It's what the Inspector does best.
Bobby Guthrie.
He and Alex have been seeing each other for well over a year now.
"Robert Hazelwood".
Didn't work very hard on his alias, did he? And the bastard's got kids.
Mrs Guthrie? - Is your husband home? - Is everything all right? He came home ill this morning, I don't know what's the matter with him.
[WHEEZING.]
It's mercury poisoning.
Call an ambulance! Now! Ma'am.
Inspector.
You found Bobby? - Yes.
- OK.
He was ill.
Just like Alex.
- But maybe you knew that already.
- I beg your pardon? Wife discovers husband is having affairs with men.
Man, not men.
Just Bobby.
And they're both poisoned in your lab.
That's preposterous! You had reason, access to the murder weapon I told you, he was my husband, maybe not in the traditional sense, but I loved him.
You're not wearing a wedding ring? I misplaced it.
And you're back at work the day he died.
It's what he lived for, this computer, it is him, so please don't tell me how I'm supposed to feel.
Mrs Simms left with me last night.
Hush now.
I can assure you she did not touch the mercury tanks.
And she had no reason to be jealous of Alex and Bobby.
And how's that? Think of your reputation.
I'm waiting.
- Geordie.
- We knew about Bobby just like Alex knew about us.
Apparently, it's not illegal because Queen Victoria couldn't imagine what two women would get up to together.
And no one had the constitution to explain.
Queen Victoria's not the only one.
I'm speaking with Bobby once the doctors are done with him.
Just because he's ill, doesn't make him innocent.
And if it wasn't him, then perhaps he could help shed some light on the ladies.
I suppose them being together could be seen to make them more, not less likely to want Alex out of the way.
Oh, we'll make a Detective of you yet, Leonard.
Would you like a game of backgammon while we wrestle with the facts? That's draughts.
Oh.
I've got dinner with Cathy anyway, it's our anniversary.
I'll pick this mess up in the morning.
Oh! You should've said.
Well, what time do you need me tomorrow? Not too early, I imagine? You've done more than enough, Leonard, I'll take it from here.
No, I wouldn't dream of it.
It's all part of my pastoral duties.
"Pray 999".
So, you reckon you're quid's in for the Grantchester job, then? Well, it's not for me to say, but Mrs Chapman seems quite certain.
- If she's onside, you're a shoe-in.
- Thank you.
- What the Dickens?! - Sorry! Sorry! Admiring the view.
Er, Mrs Chapman? I'm William Davenport, Will.
The Archdeacon sent me to introduce myself as the prospective new Vicar of Grantchester.
- Did he now? - It's a real pleasure, - I've heard so much about you.
- Well, you can tell the Archdeacon that the position's already been taken, thank you very much.
[DOOR SLAMS.]
When we first met, bakers knew how much bread they needed to make, didn't need a computer to tell them.
And men were men and Greeks were from Greece.
People were simpler, yeah? Like us.
How's the Peach Melba? Divine? - Can we go home now, please? - Are you all right? - I'm fine.
- What's wrong? - I don't feel very well.
- But you've just [BICYCLE BELL RINGS.]
You should've seen his face when I sent him packing! Well, I hope you weren't too abrupt.
Did you happen to catch a name? Nope, just some wet-behind-the-ears novice, not a patch on you.
Chew your food.
I'm meeting Inspector Keating at nine.
Have an extra sausage if you're fighting crimes.
How was your dinner? Well, put it this way, Leonard you're better off with Greeks than women.
- Hello? - Mrs Guthrie.
We understand your husband discharged himself from hospital.
Mm.
I need to know what happened at the lab.
I'm I'm sorry, I-I don't know what you're talking about.
The Cambridge Mathematical Laboratory where you spent the night with Professor Alex Simms.
Don't play silly buggers.
You've just had treatment for the mercury you were exposed to there.
I don't know how that happened.
I understand some things are difficult to talk about, but Mrs Simms told us about your relationship with Alex.
And if you cared for him, as I believe you did, then I'm sure you'd want to help find out what happened.
It's either that or you had something to do with it yourself.
I don't know a Professor Alex Simms.
These are the clothes you were wearing yesterday, - let's have a look, shall we? - Excuse me?! What's this? I've I've never seen it in my life before.
What's on it? Have you pieced together what happened yet? Mr Guthrie? - I don't know.
- What's that? That is evidence in a murder enquiry.
Murder? He he must've placed it there himself.
Inspector Keating wouldn't do that.
I've been stood here the entire time.
All right, I've had enough of secrets and codes! - What's on it? - Ring the solicitor, will you? - Mr Guthrie, this is futile.
- Did you steal it from the lab? - Tell him it's urgent.
- Or did he give it to you? - Who? - Professor Alex Simms.
For the last time, Mr Guthrie, what's on this tape? - Who's Alex Simms? - Geordie! He's the man your husband was having an affair with.
Ah, don't look at me like that.
I suppose he was just doing his job, but that's the difference, isn't it? A clergyman counsels, keeps confidences, a detective has to rip them apart.
You're just kind, that's all.
You always look for the best in people.
And I'm very lucky you do for my sake, at least.
The Archdeacon rang to arrange Mrs C! Mrs C, please! - Leonard.
- Go.
Just go, please.
Where are the others? They're at lunch.
They always eat together.
It is work.
I managed to program her to play noughts and crosses.
Can you tell me what's on this? Is it to do with the case? Possibly.
Well, first, you thread it into the reader here.
The code goes through the new thermionic valves, and, once processed, its contents are displayed via cathode ray tube display there.
Do you really think Mrs Simms could've done it? It was all happy families if I listened to them.
- What do you think? - I don't know.
- They did argue.
- About what? I tried not to listen.
It was all so complicated.
Not like this old girl.
[TAPS, BUZZES.]
I had received your letter this morning, Mrs Chapman, and I must say it is no surprise that Mr Finch has been doing - such an admirable job.
- Thank you.
But as Mr Finch is aware, it is only in exceptional circumstances that a curate is promoted within his own parish.
For example, if he had a family that was comfortably settled in the area.
It's a shame your engagement to Miss Franklin fell through, - isn't it? - Now, I am willing to listen to any objections to Mr Davenport's appointment specifically, but I cannot guarantee that that will result in Mr Finch getting the job.
No objections from me.
Mrs Chapman? - Well - May I say something? I mean, don't get me wrong, I want this position.
Who wouldn't? Stunning here, but I know that Leonard is doing fantastic work.
And it's clear that he has the support of the parish.
So I think it's only right that he gets the job.
I'm afraid it's not your decision to make.
Why not? He's a good man, he's ready.
I'm happy to step back and wait my turn elsewhere.
No, no, I'm not ready.
I've enjoyed standing in, but, as the Archdeacon says, it's not right for me to take the position permanently.
Thank you.
Well if there are no further objections I would like to welcome Mr Davenport as new Vicar of Grantchester.
[APPLAUSE.]
Leonard.
Will? Er, sorry to interrupt.
Er, Mrs C told me you were down here.
Will's bidding farewell to the city centre.
He's going to be the new vicar of Grantchester.
Cheers! Are you sure you're happy about this? Of course I am! I've only been doing it a few weeks and I'm exhausted.
I'd much rather be in the background, the man behind the man, let you take the flak.
You'll be marvellous.
Thanks.
Right.
Well, er, I just came down to apologise for earlier.
I was just trying to get moving on this case I understand.
and I wondered if you'd look at one last thing for me.
It's called a "print out".
That's Greek, isn't it? "Two bodies, one soul.
" It's Aristotle's definition of love.
Not what you were expecting? Do you ever feel you have no idea what you're doing? Most Sundays.
[CHUCKLES.]
You know who'd love this? Sidney.
Secrets, affairs "Modern relationships".
Right up his street.
He'd love it if he knew I was struggling without him.
He wouldn't.
And you were solving crimes long before Sidney came along.
And I've seen you in action today.
I know it's not the same, but when I'm struggling, I try to go back to basics.
Actually listening, thinking before I speak, for a change.
What do you normally do? I dunno.
I ask questions gather evidence.
Old-fashioned detective work.
Bloody vicars.
- Just this one? - For now.
If you could stand back.
May we ask what it is you're looking for, Inspector? It's a murder weapon.
Same as any other.
My ring?! Wha? I don't know how it got there.
You don't seriously think I'd brake a metal pipe with my bare hands and not notice my wedding ring had fallen off?! That would be the easy answer, wouldn't it? - Jealous wife, things to hide.
- I told you, I wasn't jealous.
But that's what you assumed I'd think isn't it, Mr Amery? I-I don't know what you're talking about.
Tim? You set the whole thing up, didn't you? Reported a break-in that never happened sent me on a trail of secrets.
You planted this - No.
- .
.
as if you were programming me.
Because what? You wanted a new computer? - Don't tell me that's it?! - Or because they were all together, you were the odd one out? - Because you were in the way! - That's it, isn't it? Alex, you so, so caught up in your tawdry little affairs - that you forgot why we were here.
- They were happy.
We're supposed to be the future, the forefront, but Alex hasn't done anything in years.
- He took you under his wing.
- You're all alone, just background.
- Shut up! - Hey! I should've done this years ago.
It's old.
It's obsolete.
It's [ELECTRICITY SPARKS, BANGS.]
- Enough.
- [CRACKLES.]
That's enough.
[GRUNTS.]
[THUDS, CLATTERS.]
Are you all right? Never liked it anyway.
- What the Dickens is that smell? - I made you a cappuccino.
- "Cuppa" what? - [HE LAUGHS.]
It's, er, it's Italian coffee with whisked-up milk.
Not strictly authentic, but, er, I like it.
I don't trust that foreign muck.
Should I tell her where tea's from? Don't take it personally, she's like that with everyone.
Well, cheers.
Nice to be part of the family.
It's nice to have you, really is.
Too bitter? I-I-I can get you some sugar if you like? No.
I'll go.
Hello, boy.
Tough crowd, eh? They say progress is inevitable.
It comes too fast for some '.
.
not fast enough for others '.
.
but, in the same way, we can look to the past 'as the time of our lives '.
.
or an ordeal to be overcome.
'The future can be a beacon of hope 'or something scary and unfamiliar.
' I suppose that's what heaven and hell represent.
And like heaven and hell it depends on who we are what's inside us that determines what our future will be.
Find toys for baby, dresses for Mum, cigars for Daddy, all at Swinnertons! Swinnertons.
What's the electricity bill for this place? Oh, this is nothing.
You should see Home Appliances downstairs.
In five years' time, I'll never have to set foot in a kitchen again.
Catherine Keating! Is this the husband or the fancy man?! Ooh Come on! Hands off, you lot, this one's mine.
[GIGGLES.]
- And now, the inside leg.
- To the left.
- Cathy? - Oh, don't worry, we talk about everything in here.
- Oi! - Oh, left it is.
You are going to love Renato's for your anniversary dinner.
The Peach Melba is divine.
"Divine.
" And you are going to look just as delicious when we're finished with you.
I'll fetch some fabric.
He's a bit Do you think? That's what Dotty says, but Sandra swears he isn't.
He's lovely, though, isn't he? He knows all the latest trends, all the places to go.
I don't see what's wrong with this suit.
It's old-fashioned.
You want something slimmer in the leg.
Look.
Besides, you deserve a bit of cheering up.
I'm fine.
Think you miss him more than I do.
Bloody jazz, woman troubles Nice to have a bit of peace for a change.
There what do you think? Does this mean I'm hip now? [DOOR KNOCKS.]
Now, what about sharkskin? It's the fabric of the future.
MUSIC: 'The Great Pretender' by The Platters "Taking a new step.
"Uttering a new word, is what people fear most.
" That was Russian writer, Fyodor Dostoevsky, in his seminal novel Crime and Punishment.
- [BARKING.]
- 'But what would he know?' The Russians can't go 50 years without one revolution or another.
[LAUGHTER.]
I like to think that every end, no matter how sad The father.
- 'Is a new beginning.
' - [BABY CRIES.]
'We should walk into the future with our heads held high 'and our hearts open to new possibilities, to hope.
' - Dickens! Sit! Sit! - 'We don't need a revolution here.
' Good boy.
A new broom, maybe, or maybe even an old broom that you'd forgotten - at the back of the cupboard.
- [LAUGHTER.]
But if you use it like Mrs Chapman wields hers at the vicarage then we can all look forward to a fresh and happy future for many years to come.
[COUGHING.]
Yes? Inspector Keating.
I'm here about the break-in.
- Inspector?! - You are Mr Amery? Ah, no! I wish.
To be young again, eh? I-I think there's been a bit of a misunderstanding.
You see, Mr Amery thought there was a break-in, but, erm, there wasn't, it was only me.
- And you are? - Alex.
Professor Alex Simms.
- Well, may I speak to Mr Amery? - Er Mr Amery! Police here for you.
You see what I mean? Bright young thing.
Tell him what we established.
You reported a break-in? Yes, sir, um, I came in and, er Yes, it was me here all along.
I was working late.
That's not unusual.
We're on a deadline.
And you are? Jean Simms, Head of Computing.
- My beautiful wife! - Thank you.
So, what exactly led you to believe there was a break-in in the first place? The locks are intact.
Well, it was it was just that things were out of place, um - my cup was broken - Oh, I'll get you a new one! Bloody programmers.
One-track mind.
Yes, sir.
Sorry, sir.
But you were first one in this morning Oh, for heaven's sake, are we still talking about this?! - Well, I thought so.
- I just stepped out to get some air.
Is anyone else feeling warm? There, is that better? May I ask if you've been drinking, Professor? Maybe last night.
Not a crime now, is it? I'll be the judge of that.
Are you sure you didn't have a bit more than normal? Argh Karla! Karla! Sorry.
Sorry - Can you check this reader? - I-I've already checked it Then why isn't she working? "Dear Sir, I am writing to commend Mr L.
Finch "on a sterling job since Mr S.
Chambers' untimely departure, "some weeks ago" - Mrs C - It's true.
"In all my years as a dedicated churchgoer, "I can safely say I have never seen a finer interregnum.
" - Me either.
- "I would strongly recommend Mr Finch "for the permanent role as Vicar of Grantchester.
"I look forward to hearing your positive response.
"Sincerely, Mrs Sylvia Chapman.
PS "The weathercock still requires urgent attention.
" Hear, hear! It's very kind, but I'm not sure that's how it works.
We'll see.
The church council can make things very difficult for the diocese, indeed.
They still have to send their candidate to the churchwardens for their consent.
No harm in getting in early.
And I can tell you, she does not consent to much.
No, I do not.
Professor Simms, what exactly were you working on last night? - Lytham's.
- Teashops.
Processing their stocking and restocking.
We mostly do research for the university, but work for local businesses helps to keep UNIAC's lights on.
- UNIAC? - 'University Automatic Calculator.
' - It's his baby.
- Maniac, more like.
It's the future, Inspector.
Imagine one of these in every workplace.
- Don't think it would fit.
- Not this one, it's old, but the newer ones are smaller.
More efficient.
- More reliable.
- They're untested.
And they can do much more than stocking teashops.
I-I-In the future, they'll be able to do everything maybe even your job, one day, Inspector.
No need to look so threatened.
We're still a long way from that.
- Not necessarily.
- Think of all the extra time you'll have to drink, dance and love.
Off.
- I doubt it's that easy.
- Everything is programmable, Inspector.
Take one of your cases, for example, your deduction would be based on a set of probabilities, presuppositions, - and, of course, evidence.
- [CLATTERS.]
Is there motive? Yes or no? Is there proof? - Yes or no? - Alex? Are they guilty? Yes or no? If you ask enough questions in the right sequence, the program, and then you put the answers together, then you have your result, isn't that right? [GASPS.]
- [RETCHING.]
- Sit down! Are you all right? - Oh, God.
- What? The mercury.
Out! Everybody, out! [WHEEZING.]
[CLATTERS, THUD.]
Alex? Alex? Alex? Alex? Why the need for so much mercury? Electrical pulses move more slowly through the mercury, meaning it can store data.
Like a memory.
Please, give me a minute.
Please.
He's my husband, I want to talk to him.
He'll be fine.
These mercury tanks, do they break by themselves? It's possible, they're temperature-sensitive.
But not likely, they're metal tubes inside a wooden box.
So it must have been sabotage.
- Who else has access to the Lab? - Just the four of us.
And would the professor ever bring people back? Students.
Clients, obviously.
- But after hours? - What are you getting at, Inspector? Professor Simms did admit he spent the night there, which explains the prolonged exposure to the mercury fumes.
I just wondered if he was alone, because whoever was with him could be a suspect.
Are you saying someone could've broken the tanks on purpose? No, Alex is a kind man.
He is a wonderful husband and teacher, I can't imagine anyone would want to hurt him.
It's more likely he banged into the box drunk and hadn't realised, knowing him.
They said they did everything they could.
I'm sorry.
- What do you think you're doing? - Oh, sorry, I was on my break I wanted something new to wear to dinner, but I just thought, whilst it was quiet No, it's fine, but that? Too young? Colour brings out the flush on your decolletage.
- Flush? - What we need is something - that plays to your strengths.
- An apron? - [HE LAUGHS.]
- Come on.
I think I saw, before, something that might just be the thing.
Ooh! These were the ones that were broken.
A boot maybe, a hammer? Imagine, though, a machine having a memory.
- Can it remember who did it? - Don't think so.
Not much good to us, then, is it? Can I ask what it is you're looking for, Guv? Clues, Larry.
Evidence.
"Application for new computer.
" No.
Something out of place Unusual.
The Professor didn't want us poking round, which suggests he's got something to hide.
Question is what? And his wife might wanna believe he was on his own last night - [CLATTERS.]
- I'm not so sure.
So, the next question is who was he with? You see, the hourglass look narrows your waist and makes the most of everything else.
You think? They'll be putting you in the window, dressed like that.
SHE GASPS: Geordie'll kill me - if he finds out how much it costs.
- It's your anniversary.
Does he know how much his suit was yet? - I hid the receipt.
- [CHUCKLES.]
Then we've got two little secrets.
Ooh! Nice suit.
What is that? Italian? Well, haven't you heard? I've gone part-time as a gigolo.
- [LAUGHS.]
- Anything juicy? - Killer robot.
- What? Inspector thinks the victim was having an affair.
Oh, yeah? He was hiding something.
He's got previous.
"Importuning.
Arrested, but not charged.
" - How'd he manage that, then? - Professor.
The type with friends in high places.
"Importuning"? For immoral purposes.
On Jesus Green.
After dark.
He's a pansy, Larry! Oh! Oh, right.
But he's married.
- Hello and welcome, everyone.
- That's a bit too casual.
What's wrong with the pulpit? Sidney never liked to use it.
He said it put a barrier between him and the congregation.
Well, you're not Sidney and you shouldn't try to be.
You're wonderful as you are.
Now, come on.
- I'll show - No.
Not here.
I told him you were busy, Mr Finch.
That this wasn't a branch of the local constabulary anymore.
- You're here to see me? - Thank you, Mrs Chapman.
Well, I was just wondering whether you knew anything about the Greeks.
The Greeks? He's a vicar, not a travel agent.
As in literature.
It's for a case I'm working on.
Oh, here we go.
"To my Zeus, I'll be your Ganymede," signed, "B".
I've been led to believe the victim associated with other men who had an interest in the Greeks.
Well, Ganymede was said to be the most beautiful of all mortals, so much so that Zeus abducted him to be his cup-bearer.
Right.
And would you have any idea where university men with such shared interests might be likely to congregate? Maybe the classics department? I think the Inspector means socially, where men of the same interest What's "same", again, in Greek? Homo.
Oh! Oh I see.
What've you got against the Greeks? Well, I wouldn't really know.
There is one place.
Ganymede may have a double meaning.
You know, you really didn't have to come.
So, how would you and Sidney play this? Do we stake it out? I was just gonna go in and ask a few questions.
They won't talk to you as a policeman.
So, what do you suggest? Actually, you'll be fine in that suit.
INHALES: All right, follow my lead.
Gentlemen, I don't believe we've had the pleasure.
We are as unversed as Artemisa herself.
Ah, but you know your myths.
And that is a fabulous suit.
If you please, sign the register, and then follow me into the lounge.
Thank you.
"Sidney Chambers"? I didn't want to write my real name.
Same handwriting.
So, we're looking for a Robert Hazelwood, if that's his real name.
- He was in last night.
- Ingenious.
Elementary, even! After you.
Oh, come on, it's hardly gonna be Sodom and Gomorrah.
Is it? Tom Collins.
Everybody's drinking them stateside.
Oh! [LAUGHS.]
"Stateside.
" Ooh.
So, come on then, why ain't you married? Well, you say all the right things, you know your drinks - from your dresses - [HE LAUGHS.]
Just not found the right girl? How do you think I keep my finger on the pulse? By staying single.
Free and easy.
No house to run.
No kids turning me grey.
It doesn't sound much, I'll give you that, but I wouldn't swap it for the world.
Ooh, it's gone straight to my head! [CHATTER.]
- Are you all right? - I shouldn't have come.
It's practically Dionysian.
- Is that near Athens? - It means debauched, frenzied.
I wouldn't go that far.
Look more like business types to me academics, lawyers.
Probably how Simms got off his importuning charge.
Gentlemen.
This is your boy.
He will fetch you your drinks.
Actually, we're looking for a friend of ours, Robert Hazelwood.
Right.
You wouldn't happen to know where we might find him? We do not make introductions.
We do not hold information.
We are simply an Ancient Greek-inspired drinking club.
That is all.
Now what would you like? Do you do pints? Something stiff.
Large.
Mrs Simms? Oi! Efcharisto! Mrs Simms! Mrs Simms! Stop! I'll cut her off! - [BICYCLE BELL RINGS.]
- Argh! I'm terribly sorry.
Sorry! I know your name.
I know where you work.
It's not going to be difficult to find your address.
- [PANTING.]
- That's right turn around.
Sorry.
It's been a trying time.
Stop, police! Thank you, Leonard! - Watch your step, Mrs Keating.
- Oh, I will! It can go straight to your head.
Why do you think I drink them? I've got you an anniversary present.
Oh, Anthony! You shouldn't have.
- Not at all.
- [SHE LAUGHS.]
It's the least I can do.
Anthony?! [GRUNTS.]
No! Yes! [GRUNTS.]
SHOUTS: No! Go on, then, tell him! Tell him what you were doing on your anniversary! What were you doing there, Jean? I just fancied a drink.
Then why did you run when you saw us? You knew about your husband's proclivities? I knew what Alex was, if that's what you mean? - Why didn't you tell me? - Why do you think? It'd ruin his reputation - tarnish his work, our work.
- What were you doing at the Ganymede? Much the same as you, I'd imagine, Inspector.
I was looking for the man he was with last night.
You know who "B" is.
This is the man that could've killed your husband.
No.
I don't think that.
Because they were in love.
They were happy.
I just thought he might've seen something.
Perhaps he could help.
I could go back to the Ganymede with a warrant.
Start arresting people for gross indecency until I find him.
Inspector.
If you think this man could help find out the truth about Alex, then let us help find him.
It's what the Inspector does best.
Bobby Guthrie.
He and Alex have been seeing each other for well over a year now.
"Robert Hazelwood".
Didn't work very hard on his alias, did he? And the bastard's got kids.
Mrs Guthrie? - Is your husband home? - Is everything all right? He came home ill this morning, I don't know what's the matter with him.
[WHEEZING.]
It's mercury poisoning.
Call an ambulance! Now! Ma'am.
Inspector.
You found Bobby? - Yes.
- OK.
He was ill.
Just like Alex.
- But maybe you knew that already.
- I beg your pardon? Wife discovers husband is having affairs with men.
Man, not men.
Just Bobby.
And they're both poisoned in your lab.
That's preposterous! You had reason, access to the murder weapon I told you, he was my husband, maybe not in the traditional sense, but I loved him.
You're not wearing a wedding ring? I misplaced it.
And you're back at work the day he died.
It's what he lived for, this computer, it is him, so please don't tell me how I'm supposed to feel.
Mrs Simms left with me last night.
Hush now.
I can assure you she did not touch the mercury tanks.
And she had no reason to be jealous of Alex and Bobby.
And how's that? Think of your reputation.
I'm waiting.
- Geordie.
- We knew about Bobby just like Alex knew about us.
Apparently, it's not illegal because Queen Victoria couldn't imagine what two women would get up to together.
And no one had the constitution to explain.
Queen Victoria's not the only one.
I'm speaking with Bobby once the doctors are done with him.
Just because he's ill, doesn't make him innocent.
And if it wasn't him, then perhaps he could help shed some light on the ladies.
I suppose them being together could be seen to make them more, not less likely to want Alex out of the way.
Oh, we'll make a Detective of you yet, Leonard.
Would you like a game of backgammon while we wrestle with the facts? That's draughts.
Oh.
I've got dinner with Cathy anyway, it's our anniversary.
I'll pick this mess up in the morning.
Oh! You should've said.
Well, what time do you need me tomorrow? Not too early, I imagine? You've done more than enough, Leonard, I'll take it from here.
No, I wouldn't dream of it.
It's all part of my pastoral duties.
"Pray 999".
So, you reckon you're quid's in for the Grantchester job, then? Well, it's not for me to say, but Mrs Chapman seems quite certain.
- If she's onside, you're a shoe-in.
- Thank you.
- What the Dickens?! - Sorry! Sorry! Admiring the view.
Er, Mrs Chapman? I'm William Davenport, Will.
The Archdeacon sent me to introduce myself as the prospective new Vicar of Grantchester.
- Did he now? - It's a real pleasure, - I've heard so much about you.
- Well, you can tell the Archdeacon that the position's already been taken, thank you very much.
[DOOR SLAMS.]
When we first met, bakers knew how much bread they needed to make, didn't need a computer to tell them.
And men were men and Greeks were from Greece.
People were simpler, yeah? Like us.
How's the Peach Melba? Divine? - Can we go home now, please? - Are you all right? - I'm fine.
- What's wrong? - I don't feel very well.
- But you've just [BICYCLE BELL RINGS.]
You should've seen his face when I sent him packing! Well, I hope you weren't too abrupt.
Did you happen to catch a name? Nope, just some wet-behind-the-ears novice, not a patch on you.
Chew your food.
I'm meeting Inspector Keating at nine.
Have an extra sausage if you're fighting crimes.
How was your dinner? Well, put it this way, Leonard you're better off with Greeks than women.
- Hello? - Mrs Guthrie.
We understand your husband discharged himself from hospital.
Mm.
I need to know what happened at the lab.
I'm I'm sorry, I-I don't know what you're talking about.
The Cambridge Mathematical Laboratory where you spent the night with Professor Alex Simms.
Don't play silly buggers.
You've just had treatment for the mercury you were exposed to there.
I don't know how that happened.
I understand some things are difficult to talk about, but Mrs Simms told us about your relationship with Alex.
And if you cared for him, as I believe you did, then I'm sure you'd want to help find out what happened.
It's either that or you had something to do with it yourself.
I don't know a Professor Alex Simms.
These are the clothes you were wearing yesterday, - let's have a look, shall we? - Excuse me?! What's this? I've I've never seen it in my life before.
What's on it? Have you pieced together what happened yet? Mr Guthrie? - I don't know.
- What's that? That is evidence in a murder enquiry.
Murder? He he must've placed it there himself.
Inspector Keating wouldn't do that.
I've been stood here the entire time.
All right, I've had enough of secrets and codes! - What's on it? - Ring the solicitor, will you? - Mr Guthrie, this is futile.
- Did you steal it from the lab? - Tell him it's urgent.
- Or did he give it to you? - Who? - Professor Alex Simms.
For the last time, Mr Guthrie, what's on this tape? - Who's Alex Simms? - Geordie! He's the man your husband was having an affair with.
Ah, don't look at me like that.
I suppose he was just doing his job, but that's the difference, isn't it? A clergyman counsels, keeps confidences, a detective has to rip them apart.
You're just kind, that's all.
You always look for the best in people.
And I'm very lucky you do for my sake, at least.
The Archdeacon rang to arrange Mrs C! Mrs C, please! - Leonard.
- Go.
Just go, please.
Where are the others? They're at lunch.
They always eat together.
It is work.
I managed to program her to play noughts and crosses.
Can you tell me what's on this? Is it to do with the case? Possibly.
Well, first, you thread it into the reader here.
The code goes through the new thermionic valves, and, once processed, its contents are displayed via cathode ray tube display there.
Do you really think Mrs Simms could've done it? It was all happy families if I listened to them.
- What do you think? - I don't know.
- They did argue.
- About what? I tried not to listen.
It was all so complicated.
Not like this old girl.
[TAPS, BUZZES.]
I had received your letter this morning, Mrs Chapman, and I must say it is no surprise that Mr Finch has been doing - such an admirable job.
- Thank you.
But as Mr Finch is aware, it is only in exceptional circumstances that a curate is promoted within his own parish.
For example, if he had a family that was comfortably settled in the area.
It's a shame your engagement to Miss Franklin fell through, - isn't it? - Now, I am willing to listen to any objections to Mr Davenport's appointment specifically, but I cannot guarantee that that will result in Mr Finch getting the job.
No objections from me.
Mrs Chapman? - Well - May I say something? I mean, don't get me wrong, I want this position.
Who wouldn't? Stunning here, but I know that Leonard is doing fantastic work.
And it's clear that he has the support of the parish.
So I think it's only right that he gets the job.
I'm afraid it's not your decision to make.
Why not? He's a good man, he's ready.
I'm happy to step back and wait my turn elsewhere.
No, no, I'm not ready.
I've enjoyed standing in, but, as the Archdeacon says, it's not right for me to take the position permanently.
Thank you.
Well if there are no further objections I would like to welcome Mr Davenport as new Vicar of Grantchester.
[APPLAUSE.]
Leonard.
Will? Er, sorry to interrupt.
Er, Mrs C told me you were down here.
Will's bidding farewell to the city centre.
He's going to be the new vicar of Grantchester.
Cheers! Are you sure you're happy about this? Of course I am! I've only been doing it a few weeks and I'm exhausted.
I'd much rather be in the background, the man behind the man, let you take the flak.
You'll be marvellous.
Thanks.
Right.
Well, er, I just came down to apologise for earlier.
I was just trying to get moving on this case I understand.
and I wondered if you'd look at one last thing for me.
It's called a "print out".
That's Greek, isn't it? "Two bodies, one soul.
" It's Aristotle's definition of love.
Not what you were expecting? Do you ever feel you have no idea what you're doing? Most Sundays.
[CHUCKLES.]
You know who'd love this? Sidney.
Secrets, affairs "Modern relationships".
Right up his street.
He'd love it if he knew I was struggling without him.
He wouldn't.
And you were solving crimes long before Sidney came along.
And I've seen you in action today.
I know it's not the same, but when I'm struggling, I try to go back to basics.
Actually listening, thinking before I speak, for a change.
What do you normally do? I dunno.
I ask questions gather evidence.
Old-fashioned detective work.
Bloody vicars.
- Just this one? - For now.
If you could stand back.
May we ask what it is you're looking for, Inspector? It's a murder weapon.
Same as any other.
My ring?! Wha? I don't know how it got there.
You don't seriously think I'd brake a metal pipe with my bare hands and not notice my wedding ring had fallen off?! That would be the easy answer, wouldn't it? - Jealous wife, things to hide.
- I told you, I wasn't jealous.
But that's what you assumed I'd think isn't it, Mr Amery? I-I don't know what you're talking about.
Tim? You set the whole thing up, didn't you? Reported a break-in that never happened sent me on a trail of secrets.
You planted this - No.
- .
.
as if you were programming me.
Because what? You wanted a new computer? - Don't tell me that's it?! - Or because they were all together, you were the odd one out? - Because you were in the way! - That's it, isn't it? Alex, you so, so caught up in your tawdry little affairs - that you forgot why we were here.
- They were happy.
We're supposed to be the future, the forefront, but Alex hasn't done anything in years.
- He took you under his wing.
- You're all alone, just background.
- Shut up! - Hey! I should've done this years ago.
It's old.
It's obsolete.
It's [ELECTRICITY SPARKS, BANGS.]
- Enough.
- [CRACKLES.]
That's enough.
[GRUNTS.]
[THUDS, CLATTERS.]
Are you all right? Never liked it anyway.
- What the Dickens is that smell? - I made you a cappuccino.
- "Cuppa" what? - [HE LAUGHS.]
It's, er, it's Italian coffee with whisked-up milk.
Not strictly authentic, but, er, I like it.
I don't trust that foreign muck.
Should I tell her where tea's from? Don't take it personally, she's like that with everyone.
Well, cheers.
Nice to be part of the family.
It's nice to have you, really is.
Too bitter? I-I-I can get you some sugar if you like? No.
I'll go.
Hello, boy.
Tough crowd, eh? They say progress is inevitable.
It comes too fast for some '.
.
not fast enough for others '.
.
but, in the same way, we can look to the past 'as the time of our lives '.
.
or an ordeal to be overcome.
'The future can be a beacon of hope 'or something scary and unfamiliar.
' I suppose that's what heaven and hell represent.
And like heaven and hell it depends on who we are what's inside us that determines what our future will be.