Graves (2016) s02e07 Episode Script

All the King's Horses

1 [MARGARET] Previously on Graves.
[KATIE] Getting shot was the best thing that could've ever happened to you.
Don't tell me you haven't thought of it.
- The Oval.
- [ISAIAH'S MOM] My son is gonna be the first Jewish president.
[ISAIAH] You got to get your music out there.
- I mean, you sound amazing.
- [JEREMY] How bad is it if someone text breaks up with you? Honestly, the worst.
[OLIVIA] Becky Keegan? Becky and I were, God, best friends - in high school.
- Totally.
You were horrible to me in high school, Olivia.
Bullied me so badly I had to switch schools.
[JEREMY] Yeah, well, guess what, I got Dalton to take a paternity test so that should uncomplicate things real fast.
- What are you doing? - [MARGARET] We're having a fucking baby.
- What's her name? - I don't know yet.
[WOMAN] How does it feel to know that you were married to the president responsible for building the last American nuke? You're way too much in your head.
Where else am I to go? [BONNIE] Margaret Graves is not one of you.
She thinks she's better than you.
[JERRY] You don't really have the stomach for the Senate.
Is that really what you think? [UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING] [DEBATE MODERATOR] Welcome to tonight's New Mexico Senatorial Debate.
I'd like to start with jobs.
Graves, what do you plan to do to get the state's economy back on track? Thank you.
And you're absolutely correct.
People in New Mexico are hurting.
I don't need statistics to tell me that.
I just need to sit with small business owners who've been hurt by the policies, uh, of my opponent.
The people of New Mexico really don't need the same old policies of DC.
Am I taking crazy pills or have you been taking sexy pills? [ROMANTIC MUSIC PLAYING] Senator North, your rebuttal.
Well, when it comes to economics, I believe in helping those with needs.
[MARGARET] Ah, you typical Democrat.
Thinks the government needs to teach us how to please ourselves.
You'd be amazed what I can do with a big, powerful, legislative branch.
[GASP] Holy shit.
[THEME MUSIC PLAYING] [REPORTER] As we're approaching the bottom of the hour, - [TYPING] - [SIGHING] [SIGH] Mmm hmm.
[REPORTER] which begs the question is President Graves to blame for this nuclear standoff? While many are calling it nothing but posturing saying there's no way Ahsan will just walk away from the UN nuclear talks, others say we have no one to blame but ourselves.
Ahsan is a dictator and we're the ones who gave him a country.
And even if it were almost three decades ago and the Graves Administration couldn't have known what kind of strongman he'd become, Amir Ahsan is a mad man and now he's a mad man with nuclear weapons.
- [BABY CRYING] - [REPORTER] This has been a special report from MSNBC News.
[SIGH] [SHUSHING] Oh Come on.
[SHUSHING] I don't know what do you want.
- Becky.
- [RICHARD] Honey, honey, honey.
- Let me give it a try.
- [OLIVIA] Thank you.
[RICHARD] Oh, boy.
Daddy's got all sorts of things for you.
[BABY TALK] Rock-a-bye baby - On a treetop - OK.
Well, then, great.
Thanks, Dad.
I got you.
Oh, my, uh - [BABY CRYING] - Okay.
- She hates me.
- Oh, no.
She doesn't hate you.
Well, if it isn't straight hate, then she's already developed mommy issues that have taken me years to cultivate.
It's like everything I do just makes it worse.
Honey, you're tired.
You need a break.
Why don't let me take her for the day? Are you serious? Yes, I'd love to.
- Oh, dad.
- [BABY CRIES] - Oh, geez.
- Yes.
- Where's the baby, honey? - Daddy's got her.
I just What's the matter? I can't do this.
I mean, Mom, anything I do just makes her more unhappy.
[MARGARET] Sweetheart, don't be so hard on yourself.
Every new mom needs help.
We'll get whatever you need.
Day nurse, night nurse, nanny.
Pass her off to somebody else, the way that you did with me.
Just nannies day and night.
I need to be able to figure this out.
You need to be patient.
- [KATIE] You know? - [ISAIAH] Uh-hmm.
We still have a few minutes before we have to get up.
What did you have in mind? Uh, something to get us - in the mood.
- Oh.
[MAN ON TV] Politics and friends.
- Oh.
- The news is always fair.
[Reporter on TV] Leading up today, an update on the President Graves assassination attempt.
- Wait, wait.
Hold on a second.
- [REPORTER] We're going to Elizabeth for the latest.
[ELIZABETH] Martin Treadwell will be sentenced next month for his latest attempt on the former commander-in-chief's life.
Treadwell was stopped by Isaiah Miller, an aide to former President Graves.
Miller was shot, but later fully Look at me.
Look at me.
The worst things already happened and you're okay.
That's right.
- I am.
- [KATIE] You're here.
- I'm here.
Oh, I got to go.
Margaret needs me.
It's the debate tonight.
Tell me you're gonna be okay.
Of course.
Hey, I'll see you later.
[KNOCK ON DOOR] - [COURIER] Jeremy Graves? - Yeah.
Hi, yeah registered letter.
Just need a signature.
[MAN ON TV] Margaret Graves is a phoney.
She claims she is one of you, but her wardrobe costs more than an average American's yearly income.
She has even turned her back on her family roots.
And as Richard Graves was building nuclear missiles and helping dangerous strongmen acquire their own, Margaret Graves stood behind him every step of the way.
So who is the real Margaret Graves? Vote Jerry North for Senate.
He'll keep us moving forward.
He's just trying to throw you off your game, doll.
By tomorrow, all anyone will be talking about is how you eviscerated that socialist in the debate.
There comes a time in every campaign, when things just sort of slip away.
And in one thirty-second ad, Jerry North has managed to undercut our entire you.
You mean we're done, before the debate even happens? No, but winning it just became the only way you don't lose this election.
Walt, would it be okay if I worked in a couple of originals into the set today? [SCOFF] It's your funeral.
Who's that? That's the reason why mommy's in therapy, honey.
What are you doing here, Olivia? Teach me how to be a mom.
Why would I help you? You made my life miserable.
Look, I don't know what I was doing in high school.
I was in bully denial which is a thing.
I'm so sorry.
I appreciate your apology, Olivia.
Thank you.
But I don't know.
I mean, seriously Becks, I have no idea what I'm doing.
And I'm not gonna say that it's not my fault but it's kind of not my fault.
I mean, you know I didn't grow up normal.
That's probably why I spent so much time at your parents' house with you guys.
It was the one place where I felt like I was part of a family.
And now, knowing how horrible I was to you in high school, it's not lost on me that some of the worst times in your life are seriously some of the best times in mine.
But I need help.
I'm asking for help.
Taking care of a kid is easier than it looks.
- Really? - No.
What's your daughter's name? She doesn't have one yet.
You'd really like her though.
She thinks I'm awful too.
We'd have that in common.
That's mean.
What you looking at? Boo.
Well, there's a smile.
This is your little toe, wiggly, wiggly, wiggly.
- [BABY COOING] - No? I have to say, sir, you are a natural with that baby.
It's so endearing to see this side of you, sir.
So, we have another request for a statement regarding President Ahsan pulling out of the nuclear talks in New York, sir.
And I really think we should respond this time.
Take everything off the list we have to do today.
I'm gonna spend my day With my granddaughter That's sweet.
We're gonna babysit.
We're babysitting? Isn't there like a local teenager who could do that, sir? Yes, you.
Don't be an asshole.
Here, feed the baby.
What? I'm not I've never fed a baby before.
[RICHARD] Just put it to her lips.
- There she goes.
- Oh, that's actually pretty amazing.
Richard? Yes? [MARGARET] Since you're with the baby today, could you spare Isaiah to help me in my team? His debate knowledge would be beyond helpful.
Oh, please, sir.
He's free.
I can only take one person who's likely to shit their pants today.
Okay, thank you so much, sir.
There you go.
There, that's it.
You change [INDISTINCT] Richard.
We need to talk.
[RICHARD] Maggie, today is your big day.
It's your debate.
You really need to focus.
It's very important.
- Okay.
- [BABY COOING] Attagirl.
[RICHARD] Wow you've drank the whole bottle.
[CHUCKLE] Rocking slowly left to right.
[SHUSHING] Put the bottle in there.
- [SHUSHING] - [PHONE RINGS] [BECKY] Olivia! Oh oh oh! Olivia! Aah.
I'm sorry.
That is very much my bad.
Hey, Jerums.
Make it quick.
Just killed my third pillow baby.
The paternity test results came in.
Who's your daddy? I can't open it.
Open it, Jer.
I wanna know if your dad is Dad or if I'm gonna have to start calling him "my dad" when we talk, which is gonna be so weird.
Look, I-I-I just I don't I don't think I wanna know.
[OLIVIA] Why not? [GASPS] Oh, are you worried that it's not gonna be either of them? Well, I hadn't thought of that yet, Liv.
So, thanks for nothing.
- [PHONE BEEPS] - Sorry.
[MARGARET] And time and time again, it's small business owners that suffer.
Senator North, your response? [CHRISTOPHER] Okay.
That's, uh, that's good.
[MARGARET] Oh, for God's sake, what now? [GRUNTING] Margaret, everything you're saying is reasoned and well expressed, and every time you open your mouth, you drop another three points.
I'm answering the questions calmly and reasonably.
- Isaiah? - Hmm? Well, uh, familiarity matters, ma'am, and while your answers are in fact concise and believable, you do read just a bit uncomfortable.
Well said, mini Graves, yeah, see, you can't reason your way out of the fact that Bonnie Clegg is going around telling the world that you disowned your hillbilly family nor the fact a large percentage of New Mexicans already think you're a phoney.
Now, it's our job to make you their phoney and they can't see it coming, Margaret.
Tap into their fear.
Did did somebody come to work today? Somebody came to work today.
Tap into their fears.
Why the hell the two of you are so insistent on changing her to someone that she's not? Margaret Graves is a beloved fixture in this country - Holy shit.
- [LAWRENCE] What what is it? - No.
It's okay.
It's okay.
- What happened? Your your saccharin soliloquy just gave me instant tooth decay, I'll be fine.
- [MARGARET] Okay.
- And you know what? I I do not like how this man is running this campaign, Maggie, I'm sorry, I have to tell you.
Things are different now, they have to be.
Richard never won on the high road.
Get on board or don't.
- I need a moment.
- [PHONE RINGS] - Hello? - [ROBERT] Hey Isaiah, it's Robert Hayes of Serious XM.
We got that Sammy Vega song you sent, we're really loving it here, man.
Oh, great.
Thank you.
So glad you like it.
[BECKY] She's got the cutest Little nose She's got The cutest little eyes And the cutest little feet Her fart smells stinky But her smile is sweet "Her farts smell stinky, but her smile is sweet.
" Such silly little songs.
Yeah, it's just that, um, I'm not a very good singer.
They don't care.
Oh, and also, I find the older they get, kids eat more when you make their food fun.
[OLIVIA] Okay.
"Make food fun.
" Oh, another fun thing, at some point, you'll leave the baby carrier somewhere and go into a panic.
[SIGHS] Yeah, I've already done that, - two times.
- So, I took an old iPhone I had laying around, taped it inside the baby carrier, it's like a GPS for the baby.
- Genius.
- [BABY CRIES] [BECKY] Ohh Hey, can you go back and do that again but, like, only slower? I'm just moving my hands.
Maybe we should take a break.
[OLIVIA] No, I need all of your tips, Becks and that one where you hypnotized the baby and it's quiet, yeah, that's the best one.
[BECKY] Okay.
You know you can't trick your way into being a good parent, right? I'm trying to give you some tips.
Parenting is pretty much just hard work and instinct.
But that's whatl'm trying to tell you, I don't have any instincts.
I'm sorry.
I can't do this.
I'm I'm sorry I wasted your time.
But it's not easy Learning from my mistakes Guess I could try One more time I'm flying I'm flying [CLAPPING] [RICHARD] Bravo.
We'll play some Lynyrd Skynyrd next time.
Well, baby's first bar.
Mom's gonna be proud, huh? Oh.
What do you guys do, you go shopping? Yeah.
Liv, needs a little help.
Hey, I love that song you played.
Really? Well, I think you're the only one.
You are way, way, too much in your head.
Remember telling me that? - Yes.
- Yeah.
Where else am I supposed to go? Remember that? "Be authentic," you told me.
But Sammy, do it while you're young, at the start, don't wait 'til the end.
It gets complicated in the end.
[KATIE] Babe, this night gonna be huge.
[ISAIAH] I really hope this goes well for Mrs.
I really hope this goes well for you.
What? I've been thinking, since this morning after the Treadwell news, you went from being an assistant to an American hero, right? You know, I really don't like talk about that, Katie.
It's the Isaiah Miller origin story, the first Jewish president.
I wanna put you on Jeremy's show.
Oh, Katie, slow down, please.
And we'll give them the "You saved his dad" exclusive, they'll love that, and you'll get some super positive exposure, it's a win-win.
That's the opposite of slowing.
Everyone in this room, Isaiah, they're all looking for who the next big thing is and I really think it's you.
Oh, shit, sorry, nobody's every out here.
Hey, um, uh, wait, uh, hold up, uh, Farrah, right? Yeah.
And it's awesome that after so many months, you're still not sure.
Well, what are you doing out here? Come you come out to smoke or something? You'll just laugh and then I'll think you're even more of an asshole than I already do.
I meditate.
No shit.
It's no big thing.
It just it helps me.
I'm going to a retreat this weekend actually.
Vinyasa, this amazing place, we just meditate, eat healthy, decompress.
You should try something like that.
I mean, I know you're literally sitting there thinking what a load of shit it is, but who knows? Maybe it'd bring down your douche factor a little bit.
I thought you left, but then Cooper told me you put yourself in timeout on the porch.
I can't raise a child.
Wolves would do a better job.
Becks, I can't even get her to eat.
No one's hated my boobs before.
Olivia, maybe you should just hire somebody to help you? Why does everybody say this? I don't want that for her.
Nannies, and nurses, and babysitters, and boarding schools, I mean, she should have it better than I had it, right? - [WALT] Sam? - What? [SAMANTHA ON RADIO] Hold your breath For as long as you can There's something Moving up there No fucking way.
Still searching For a better place Thought it'd be Different somewhere I blew my first chance Fucked up on purpose It's just a face on a dime But it's not easy Learning from my mistakes Guess I could try One more time But I'm flying Cooper had trouble latching on too.
Let me show you what worked for me.
I'm flying Is this real life Or someone else's dream I asked [WOMAN] Good job, Isaiah.
Isaiah Miller, way to take a bullet.
Oh, thank you sir.
I'm a big fan.
Right back at you.
See? It's already started.
[SAMANTHA] I got no reason to sail I blew my first chance Fucked up on purpose Just a sad face on a dime But it ain't easy Learning from my mistakes Guess I could try One more time But I'm flying [MAN ON TV] And we're minutes away now for the most anticipated senatorial debate of the season, a former first-lady squaring off against a liberal icon incumbent.
I can't believe he brought her here.
I told you he was a genius.
Well played, North.
That son of a bitch.
Put her right in the front row.
What's going on? Oh, God.
[CHRISTOPHER] No "oh, God.
" Do you hear me? She's just another face in the crowd.
Tell me that you hear me.
[LAWRENCE] He's got a low center of gravity, just sweep the leg.
[WOMAN ON TV] We're about to take the stage here in New Mexico.
Coming up next, the debate.
[MAN ON TV] Margaret Graves is a phoney.
She claims she is one of you, but her wardrobe costs more than an average American's yearly income.
She has even turned her back on her family roots.
And as Richard Graves was building nuclear missiles and helping dangerous strongmen acquire their own, Margaret family roots.
And as Richard Graves was building nuclear missiles and helping dangerous strongmen acquire their own, Margaret [ANNOUNCER] Debate night in America.
[DEBATE MODERATOR] Welcome to tonight's New Mexico senatorial debate.
[APPLAUSE] So, we're going to start with Mrs.
Why are you the right choice for New Mexico? That's an excellent question.
I'm glad you asked, thank you.
I think this election is about a very simple choice between the America that we used to be and the America that we're becoming.
An America that is more concerned with being politically correct than with being correct politically.
And that is why I'm in this race because Jerry North and his government insiders are scheming to take your jobs.
And it's about time these hardworking, decent Americans have someone in Washington, someone who really hears them.
[APPLAUSE] [MODERATOR] Senator North, would you like to respond? I'd like nothing more, thank you.
Here's the bottom line, up until two months ago, Mrs.
Graves was eating filet mignon on fine china.
Now, every time I turn on the TV, she's chugging a beer and eating roadside barbecue.
I'm surprised you haven't bought a used pickup.
I'm surprised that you're standing here, stereotyping an entire group of people.
You are an act.
You're exactly what is wrong with this country.
[JERRY] It's a question of trust.
It is a question of priorities.
I don't even know who you are.
You're asking the voters to trust you.
Why should they? Everything you're saying is nonsense.
These are people's lives that we're talking about here and they deserve a senator who they know will not change her mind with every passing trend or new opportunity.
I haven't changed at all.
Oh, my God.
And I am so proud of where I came from and I was the first lady of the United States.
But who are you today? I'm whoever I have to be.
[INDISTINCT CHATTER] - [THROAT CLEAR] - [MODERATOR] Senator North, would you like to respond? I rest my case.