Great Canal Journeys (2014) s06e02 Episode Script

The Caledonian

1 I'm Prunella Scales And I'm Timothy West.
Beautiful.
We’ve been husband and wife for over five decades.
Cheers.
We’ve been wedded to stage and screen for even longer.
Great hair, though! Ha-ha! But we share another passion canals.
Cast off, please.
Aye-aye, sir.
Canals wind through our lives, carrying our treasured memories.
Of families growing up Of moments of wonder And hidden beauty.
Is this the most remote canal we’ve ever been on? I think it probably is, yes.
Of love.
And laughter.
Ha! Sorry about that.
Things are a bit harder for me these days.
I'm not strong enough! But we get by.
We're at the summit! Hooray! Pru has a slight condition.
It does mean she has difficulty remembering things.
Oh, my darling, I'm so sorry! I didn't cast you off! One has to recognise that Pru's domestic life is getting .
.
a little narrower by the day.
Well, it can be a nuisance, but it doesn't stop me remembering how to open and lock the gate, or make the skipper a cup of tea.
OK? Cast off, Skipper! This time, we embark on an ambitious two-part voyage.
In the far north of Scotland lie two unique canals that cross only open country.
It's just a series of one breathtaking view after another.
I know.
Well cross the mountainous heart of Scotland, heading deep into the wilderness What a sight! .
.
on a demanding journey Help, help, help! .
.
through one of the worlds most remarkable waterways.
I think it's extraordinary.
Well travel coast to coast on a voyage I’ve been wanting to make for decades.
We've reached the sea! Hooray! And then navigate our way through the Western Isles, towards Britain’s most remote canal.
Oh, what a sight! It’ll be an epic journey.
Are we are going to be all right? One that we’ve never tackled on our own.
But its never too late to explore.
I still feel that sense of adventure and possibility and discovery.
The first leg of our voyage begins in the Highlands and the Great Glen, a mighty geological fault that cuts across Scotland.
Running through the glen is a vast waterway, a majestic canal that travels from the North Sea to the Atlantic.
The Caledonian Canal.
Uh-huh.
One of the masterpieces of the Canal Age, something that I've always wanted to explore.
Built by one of my great engineering heroes, Thomas Telford, we join this majestic waterway on the outskirts of Inverness.
There's our boat.
But she's a motor cruiser.
Well, yeah.
Not a narrow boat.
It's a ship canal.
Anyway.
Right.
This is very smart.
It's a three-storey house! There’s certainly no need for a cramped narrow boat on the Caledonian, a canal originally built to take the ships of the Royal Navy.
Ready to cast off when I tell you? OK.
In our 40 years of boating, this has to be one of the most challenging voyages we’ve ever undertaken.
Are you off? No, I'm not.
I do hope Tim isn’t being too ambitious.
OK, we're off! The Caledonian is not only magnificent, but it's also a very clever piece of engineering, designed to make the best use of the natural geology of the Great Glen.
This canal really was waiting to be built.
Of its 66 miles, only 22 aren't man-made, because the rest of it is three lochs joined together.
Oh, brilliant.
Loch Lochy, Loch Oich and Loch Ness, in succession.
So, more lochs and fewer locks Sounds good news for the crew! That's true.
And for that, you can thank the genius Scottish canal engineer Thomas Telford, whose idea it was to link the lochs of the Great Glen together, with four stretches of man-made waterway forming the Caledonian Canal.
Heading west from Inverness, we'll enter the monstrous Loch Ness and pass the romantic ruins of Castle Urquhart.
We'll ascend the lochs at Fort Augustus, and then to the second stretch of the canal.
Crossing Loch Oich, we'll reach the man-made wonder of Laggan Avenue.
And in the shadow of Britain's highest mountain, we'll head for the final section of canal and our descent to the sea.
You know you're always calling the canals "the arteries of the Industrial Revolution"? Yep.
Well, where's the Industrial Revolution around here? I can't see any mines, any factories, just acres and acres of open countryside.
Unusually, this canal was not funded by industrialists, but by the British Government.
In the early 19th century, we were at war, and the plan was to ease the passage of the Royal Navy's ships so that they could more easily sail from the North Sea to the Atlantic and take on the French.
It was to save the voyage right the way round the top of Scotland Right, yes, yes and avoid the treacherous waters of the North Coast.
Its beautiful.
We’ve a lot to thank the French for, haven’t we? Well, I suppose you could see it that way.
Right, this is our first lock Oh, right we're just coming into now.
To slice through the rugged terrain, this canal has no fewer than 29 locks, which were the largest ever built at that time.
Do I need to operate it, or? No, no, it's manned and operated, but you may need to take a rope, we'll see.
OK.
Were on unfamiliar territory, so were both a little anxious about this trip across the whole of Scotland.
And, of course, neither of us are getting any younger.
Ah-ha.
I don't think I can throw it.
But well find a way, we always do.
Up there Got it? OK.
Enjoying it? Yeah.
It's a great canal, wonderful canal.
It's the first time we've done this one under our own steam, I think, and it's beautiful.
Pru can be quite forgetful these days, but being on the canal brings back deep memories Look at the heather.
Oh, amazing! .
.
some that I never knew she had.
She's as braw as the heather The bonny purple heather Mary, ma braw Scots girl.
Ha! Oh, first film I ever did, I had to play a Highland schoolmistress.
A-ha.
What was it called, Laxdale Hall? Laxdale Hall, yes.
Oh, it was lovely.
Roddy McMillan.
Buggy Keir.
I had to learn my Highland.
My character falls in love with a dashing young man played by Fulton Mackay.
I could have become a Highland girl myself, if life had taken a different turn.
I was deeply in love with a Scotsman who built ski lifts in the Cairngorm Mountains.
But that was a long, long time ago, before I met the Skipper.
Right, here we are.
The entrance to Loch Ness.
Oh, what a sight! This enormous lake - the largest in the British Isles - contains more water than all its cousins south of the Border combined.
Will we see any monsters? I mean, it is 750 feet deep, the loch, so who knows what's lurking down there? Oh, yes, yes, right.
Well, room for lots of monsters.
Oh, yes.
Yes.
The first photo that claimed to capture the monster was taken in 1934, and since then, there have been hundreds of reported sightings.
Perhaps there really is something mysterious hidden in the dark depths of the loch.
Marine biologist Adrian Shine has been monster-hunting out here for 43 years.
Hello! Determined and intrepid, he's put his life on the line to find Nessie.
This is a cutaway view of my little submersible.
Did you invent him? Well, yes, I did.
I did, actually.
Really? And built it, yes, that's right.
The idea was, you'd sit on the bottom, bait it and waited to see something against that surface brightness.
How did you breathe? It was air coming down the pipe here.
My surface crew would pump air down.
Did you see any? I didn't see any monsters.
They didn't come and, you know, attack me or do anything like that.
From submarines to sonar, Adrian's tried everything, but he's always come back from his deepwater investigations empty-handed.
That was until a few months back, when he was exploring the loch's very darkest recesses.
We had an autonomous underwater vehicle, which is a torpedo-like thing.
We sent it out and, on the way, we got this echo.
30 feet long, it is, and a long head and neck.
We actually found the Loch Ness monster.
Serious.
Good Lord! Had the years that Adrian spent monster-hunting finally paid off? Or could there possibly be a catch? Now, the thing was that in 1969, there was a film made.
It was called The Private Life of Sherlock Holmes, which involved the Loch Ness monster, and it was a huge model.
Billy Wilder, the director, didn't like the humps that were on his Loch Ness monster model, so he said, "Take them away!" And the effects man says, "Well, guv, if you do that, it'll sink.
" And so he took the humps off and they towed it out and it sank Yeah, I told you.
I told you, didn't I? And that is where it has been since 1969, until we discovered it.
I see, yes.
One movie prop doesn't prove all the witnesses who claim to have seen Nessie are lying.
Adrian has a theory.
Do you see those solid-looking, black, dark humps in the water, there, just right over the other side? Oh, yes.
Yes, yes, yes.
It's a sea monster! It's actually caused by the wake of the boats.
So, it was associated It's got three, three creatures.
It has got a few, yes.
When the canal first opened, it was for sailing ships.
Now, sailing vessels do not leave visible wakes, and so it was only with the coming of powered vessels that people began to see wakes like those multi-humps The monster? .
.
the monsters, sea serpents, or lake monsters, on calm water.
Would you say you are now absolutely convinced there is no such thing as the Loch Ness monster? Well, since I'm on the skeptical side of the issue, I am looking for an alternative explanation, but an alternative explanation does not have to be true.
There are more things in heaven and earth than are dreamt of in any of our philosophies.
There may be.
There may be.
This loch is not only steeped in myth and legend, but it's also a place where real-life heroes lived and died.
We're heading towards Castle Urquhart now, the site of many a siege and battle.
Against the English? Ooh, yeah, mmm.
Yes, William Wallace and Robert the Bruce both held the Urquhart Castle against the English in the Middle Ages.
Strategically set on a headland looking out over the water, it was said that whoever controlled this castle controlled the Highlands.
Wow, look at that! Yeah.
Known for its violent history, the castle also holds the secrets of a tragic love affair.
In the 17th century, a Lord Grant was living here at Urquhart Castle, and he had a very beautiful daughter called Mary, with long, lustrous, dark hair.
She was in love with Donald Don, a ne’er-do-well cattle thief and bard.
They planned to elope to the Western Isles, but the laird caught his daughters outlaw lover and ordered his beheading.
Before he died, he wrote a poem to Mary.
Oh, here we are.
Read it.
"How I wish, my brown-haired maid "That I was over in Mull with thee, "Where I would catch us fish and deer "And, my love, we would not want, "Where the eagle soars on the speed of his wing "At the break of a new dawn" Oh.
"O' God, keep me sane! "Never have I been in such despair.
"Tomorrow, I will be atop a knoll, "My head alone, "No friend to watch over me.
" Oh, it's awful! Well, I’m glad you’re still here to watch over me! Yes.
The futures much less daunting when you’re not on your own.
Tim and I are on a voyage to the west coast of Scotland, traveling through the heart of the Highlands.
One of the most impressive feats of canal engineering in the world, the Caledonian is a waterway that for years I've longed to navigate.
This morning, we've woken up to some traditional weather.
Look at the mist.
Yes.
Just a few feet over the loch.
And then the Highlands towering behind.
It's amazing.
With the mist cleared, we continue our voyage, heading for the old Highland outpost of Fort Augustus and its intimidating locks.
Reaching the high point of the canal, we will follow this man-made stretch to our mooring at the locks of Cullochy.
Fort Augustus.
Right.
And this is where the locks are? This is where the locks are.
Five of them.
So, a lot of work for crew.
Well, not the way you're used to.
Five locks, and the boats have to be pulled through by hand.
By me, my hand? Well, you and a couple of other people, yeah.
Ha! The Caledonian was built by genius Scots engineer Thomas Telford.
And one of his toughest challenges was building the locks here at Fort Augustus.
To hold back the millions of gallons of water in Loch Ness required three steam pumps working round the clock before the flight could be completed.
Big enough to take a small ship, the locks climb up for 40 feet, making the power of the water running down the flight pretty considerable.
With no engines allowed, we have to drag the boat up ourselves, so I'm a little bit concerned.
It's going to take us time and be a bit of an effort.
Five of them, are there? There's five of them.
We're following in the footsteps of royalty, taking the same route that Queen Victoria did in the royal steamer Gondolier in 1873.
Ascending these same locks, she was not amused by "the great many people "looking down upon us at the locks of Fort Augustus".
150 years later, it's still a gongoozler's paradise.
There are a lot of people watching, so we'd better try and get it right.
There’s a team of lock keepers on hand as this flight can be quite hazardous.
OK, sir, stop her there.
Don't take her any more forward.
Right, OK.
Lovely, lovely.
And then if you could throw us that back rope Yup.
.
.
that would be great.
Well done.
Sorry.
Super.
If we can get you to switch off the engine now.
Now our boat is in the first chamber, the hard work starts.
OK, are we ready to move? Right.
Great.
What have I got to do now? Pull it up the hill.
Oh, right.
In 40 years of boating, we’ve never done this before.
I don't want to pull you in.
It takes 1.
4 million gallons of water to lift our boat to the top of the flight.
Everything here's on a major scale.
Mountains around us.
Big loch.
Big locks.
As the sluices open on the second lock, there’s a powerful rush of water.
Help, Tim! Help, help, help! Bloody hell.
How did that happen? That was close, but Pru is a very determined woman.
It'll be all right.
Did you burn your hands? No, no, fine.
Fine.
Good.
No, just Just cross with myself.
That's never happened to me before.
We'll put another turn on it.
Right, good.
And that should give it a wee bit more grip.
How are you doing? All right? Yeah, all right.
Yeah? Just waiting for more water, that's all.
Good luck.
Good luck, what? The next bit.
Oh, right.
Pru doesn’t give up, ever.
It's a lovely adventure.
Great.
It's so beautiful.
Right, last lock, we've done it.
Good.
Hooray.
And here we are.
A full 40 feet higher in just over an hour.
Keeps you fit.
Thanks, you've been lovely.
That's a pleasure.
Enjoy the rest of your journey.
Right you are.
I think we’ve both earned a bit of a rest after that.
What on earth are you doing?! Ahoy there! Is that a bath? It is indeed a bath.
You have got the plug in? We've got the plug in, it's sealed.
Yeah.
We're raising money for multiple sclerosis.
Wonderful.
See you, now.
Thank you.
See you! Good luck.
Well, you never know who you're going to meet on the canal.
Great.
Of course, the Caledonian was built neither for bathtubs nor indeed pleasure cruisers.
Hello.
Hello.
That's it, ready.
OK.
To discover the reason why it was first dug, we're joined by canal historian Chris O'Connell.
Very big boat coming straight towards us.
Yes, it's good to see it.
It's just what the canal was built for, really.
Yeah.
You would remember we were at the height of war with Napoleon.
Oh, yes.
So the Royal Navy wanted safe passage and quick passage from one side of the country to the other to avoid the French frigates that were up and down the Channel.
But the Caledonian never saw any of the Royal Navy's battleships.
As it happened, with the Battle of Waterloo in 1815, the issue with Napoleon sort of disappeared, it just deliquesced.
So there was no need.
The Navy never actually used the canal that they were so keen to establish.
But there was another pressing need for the canal - to bring jobs and trade to a region devastated by the Highland Clearances.
Crofters who had been thrown off the land were put to work building the canal.
So the Highlanders had to leave their cattle and dig the canals? Absolutely.
Did they dig it by hand? Absolutely.
With an awful lot of shovels Yes! .
.
and an awful lot of hard work.
It may have been an incredible human and engineering achievement, but the canal never attracted enough trading vessels to break even.
The future looked bleak, until it received a celebrity endorsement from the biggest star of the day.
It did move into a new era with the royal visit of Queen Victoria in 1873.
Yes, of course, yes.
She apparently said that, although the engineering was very interesting, the locks were a little tedious.
Despite that, this remote canal through the Highlands became the Royal Route, famed for its beauty and grandeur.
Almost overnight, Victorian tourists were heading north in their droves.
And 150 years later, the canals, and indeed Queen Victoria herself, have done incredible amounts for the Scottish tourist industry, haven't they? Absolutely.
It really did put the canal and the Highlands on the world stage, as it were.
Mm.
It may have been royal patronage that saved the Caledonian but it was the hard graft of the Highlanders that created this masterpiece of engineering.
Goodbye.
Bye.
As evening falls, there's just one more lock before we reach tonight's mooring.
Hello.
Hello, Prunella, I'm Linda.
Now, I've got a gold star for you.
Oh.
It's nice to meet you.
Thank you very much.
Timothy, I have one for you as well.
You've got a gold star.
Have we done something right for a change? That's wonderful.
You have, yes.
You've got your life jacket on.
Oh, good.
So, I'll go and open the gates for you now, Pru.
Oh, thank you.
When did you last have a gold star? I don't remember.
I don't think I ever got one at school.
Hmmm Oh, oh! Help, help! What? What's the matter now? What's happening? What's the matter? Well, I'm moving forward.
I know.
Quick, lets get out of here before Linda rescinds our gold stars.
Tell me when you're off.
I'm off.
We've left the tourists and the gongoozlers far behind now.
Yes, it feels like we've headed deep into the wilderness.
Well, that was a good day.
Are you offended about me pouring whisky into a wine glass? No, it's all right.
It's all I've got.
There we are.
Slainte.
Cheers.
Out here, time has no meaning.
The past and the present merge into one .
.
as memories of a long-lost love come ever closer.
"My hearts in the Highlands, my heart is not here, "My hearts in the Highlands a-chasing the dear.
" "A-chasing the wild deer and following the roe, "My hearts in the Highlands wherever I go.
" Very good accent.
Is your heart in the Highlands? No, not any more, my darling.
Not any more? Well, it was once.
When I When I was courting with Bill Blackwood, so my heart was in the Highlands for a bit but it didn't happen like that.
No.
It didn't.
No, it didn't.
No, I I met this actor Oh.
.
.
person and I'm very, very, very, very, very, very happy with him.
Oh, good.
Well, thank you.
That's all right, then.
Pru and I are on a long and demanding voyage across Scotland, one that I've wanted to navigate for years.
We've journeyed deep into the wilds of the Highlands, although you'd never guess it from the weather.
Oh, what a day.
Look at it.
Yeah, it's beautiful this morning.
Right, we're off.
Were following the Caledonian Canal, known as the Royal route, thanks to a famous visit by Queen Victoria.
How are you today? A beautiful morning.
How are you doing? Yes.
Right up to the gate.
Right you are.
This lock is raising us to the summit of the canal, 106 feet above sea level.
Brilliant.
OK.
Nice to be coming up in the world.
Yes, yes.
OK, cast off.
That's us now.
This has to be the most remote stretch of canal we've ever navigated.
Isolated and untamed for centuries, we're entering the territory that was once the home of warlords and rebels.
Crossing the loch, we'll visit the stronghold of the once-rebellious MacDonell clan.
And then continue southwest along the spectacular, man-made Laggan Avenue.
Loch Oich was certainly a dangerous place in the mid-18th century, but by the time the Royal yacht visited here in 1873, peace had broken out.
It's a beautiful part of the world, isn't it? I quite see why Queen Victoria was in love with it.
Of course, you read Queen Victoria's diaries, didn't you, playing Queen Victoria for all those years? Following the Royal route has a special meaning for me.
Having researched her life and played her countless times, I feel like I've got to know the real woman behind the crown.
That's Invergarry Castle.
It's wonderful, isn't it? A beautiful, romantic ruin.
What did she say about Invergarry? I can't remember exactly.
I think I may have marked it somewhere here.
"Mr and Mrs Ellis wished me to get out and drive round their fine place, "Invergarry, to rejoin the steamer at the next loch, but I declined, "preferring to remain quietly onboard.
" I think we'll go ashore, shall we? Yes, please.
Have a look.
Yes.
Perhaps Queen Victoria had her reasons for not visiting Invergarry, which was the fortress home of the Chief of the MacDonnell's.
Morning.
Morning.
Morning.
100 or so years earlier, the clan had been devoted Jacobites, intent on restoring a Catholic, Scottish king to the British throne.
When Bonnie Prince Charlie arrived in Scotland in 1745, 600 of the MacDonnell men joined him in attempting to overthrow King George II.
Very impressive, isn't it? Yes.
Well You've been in the wars, haven't you? Not half! Come on.
The rebellion was defeated.
Bonnie Prince Charlie fled the field of battle, pursued by English soldiers.
He took refuge here at Invergarry Castle, before taking a boat to freedom.
So this is where he would have stayed, in one of those rooms up there, I suppose.
Speed, bonnie boat, like a bird on the wing "Onward!" the sailors cry Carry the lad that's born to be king Over the sea to Skye Next to the ruined castle is Glengarry House, once the home of the Ellis family, snubbed by Victoria, now a hotel.
Queen Victoria missed out on not visiting here, didn't she? Yes, she did.
It's just a series of one breathtaking view after another.
I know.
Shall we have a cup of tea? Yeah.
Yeah.
Thank you.
Thank you very much.
Wicked.
Sin in the Highlands.
I can't manage the whole thing.
Can you not? I think you can.
At our stage in life, I don’t see much point in watching ones waistline.
I do have some sympathy for Victoria, wanting to stay on her boat.
All along the length of the Caledonian Canal, she caused quite a stir, with people eager to see their Queen.
As she recorded in her diary "Beatrice, Jane Churchill and I went below and had some hot luncheon.
"The people from the locks looked down upon us, "but it was unavoidable.
" Yes.
Not used to having people looking down on her.
I thought the Highlands were going to be wild and rugged, and here we are having cream tea in the sunshine - disgraceful! Yes, it's a hard life, isn't it? Disgraceful.
We're continuing towards the south-westerly end of Loch Oich.
This is Laggan swing bridge, you see? Oh, right.
It's opening now, yes.
Important swing bridge.
After the great, open expanse of Loch Oich, you can tell we're back on a man-made section of this waterway.
It's a beautiful canal though, isn't it? Beautiful scenery, amazing trees.
Look at them.
It's a real avenue, isn't it? Yes.
For the Highlanders who dug this canal, Laggan Avenue was perhaps their greatest challenge.
The Avenue, particularly, was very, very difficult to dig.
It was solid rock.
Right.
It had to be dug to a considerable depth.
So those trees were put there? They were planted, yes.
Planted.
To stabilise the banks.
60 years after falling for a young Scotsman, my heart is back in the Highlands.
But today, its with the man with whom I’ve shared my life.
In 1963, Pru and I got married in Chelsea registry office, and now is a chance to renew our vows, this time in the old Highland way.
Hello.
I'm the bard of the Clan Donald Society.
I can conduct handfasting ceremonies, and that's simply the old, traditional way of marrying a couple for a year and a day.
If you hold your wrists together, and then I would place your hands on the dirk, and then you would swear your allegiance to each other.
For a year and a day.
For a year and a day.
And at the end of the year and a day, you could go off with somebody else? You could do! Ha! You didn't know that at the time, did you? No! Now that Greg has bound us together, we should celebrate with a traditional Gaelic toast.
It doesn't look like whisky.
No, it's unaged.
It wouldn't have any colour in it.
Remember, it was only the colouring when it was kept in oak casks that gave it its colour, like the handle of the dirk, was from an oak cask, it's that oak or sherry cask that would give it the colour over years, but this was clear, like water.
This could be the water of life.
No fancy crystal glasses in the Highlands, here.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Drink it up.
Mm! Incredibly strong.
I couldn't finish it.
It may finish you before you finish it! Aye, but what a way to go.
Tim and I are on the last leg of our journey through the Scottish Highlands.
Making our way across the country through the Caledonian Canal on the royal route.
Thank you.
Right you are.
And our determination to make the most of the time we have left together is being repaid with breathtaking beauty.
I've never been in a lock with a look like this.
Ever.
It's astonishing.
We are entering Loch Lochy, the last of the lakes on our route.
Described by Queen Victoria simply as "Beautiful!" Heading south, we'll visit the seat of the Cameron clan.
Reaching the outskirts of Fort William, we'll descend Britain's longest staircase lock, before finally heading out to sea.
We're making our way to the southern shores of Loch Lochy, and the ancestral home of the chief of the Cameron clan.
We're going up to meet Lochiel.
"Lochiel" is the traditional name for the head of the Cameron clan.
Wow.
Although I have to warn you that the battle cry of the clan was, "Sons of the hounds come hither and get flesh.
" Human flesh? Well, preferably, but I imagine whatever they can get.
Wow.
The Cameron clan have a long history of war with the English, fighting for Robert the Bruce in the Middle Ages and then in the 18th century, supporting Bonnie Prince Charlie in his Jacobite rebellion.
Good morning! Good morning.
My dog has rushed to meet you.
Hello! A beautiful estate, isn't it? Thank you.
Welcome to Achnacarry.
Fortunately, Donald Angus Cameron, the 27th Lochiel, seems friendly enough.
Would you like to come in? Please.
We'd love to, please.
His home, however, is decorated with weapons used in anger against the English! A claymore.
A targe, which has got, "Fear God, honour the King" written around it.
And some musket holes? With some musket holes.
Obviously didn't stop bullets very effectively, did it? The other interesting Armour is that one behind you, which is a Lochaber axe.
The hook at the top Yes I'm told, was for pulling people off horses Oh, brilliant, yes! Of course.
.
.
and then chopping their heads off.
Oh, thank you very much, yes! Better be on our best behaviour then.
Certainly, some of Donald’s ancestors would not have been so hospitable.
That's Sir Ewen Cameron of Lochiel, who was the 17th chief and a tremendous hero in the Highlands.
He was the one who, when fighting some English near Fort William, was about to be stabbed, so he leant up and he bit the throat out of the Englishman Ah and said it was the sweetest morsel he'd ever tasted.
These days, the Camerons may be a little more friendly to visitors from south of the border, but they still play the tune that led the rebel clan into battle.
The March Of The Cameron Men.
"There's many a man of the Cameron clan "That has followed his chief to the field "He has sworn to support him or die by his side "For a Cameron never can yield.
" OK, Pruey? Yep.
You off? Off, we're off.
Right.
We are continuing our journey south-west across Loch Lochy to collect two of our own clan.
We are going to pick up Donna and Nichola Oh, good who are waiting for us, I hope.
It'll be great to see them.
Actress Nichola McAuliffe has been my friend and colleague for years.
Welcome on board! Hello! Thank you.
Can you get on all right? Oh, hello.
Nichola hails from darkest Surrey, like me.
But her husband Don is a true Scotsman.
Great to see you.
Really lovely to see you.
Hello, Pru, darling.
Good to see you.
When we last worked together, Nichola played my bitter ex-wife in National Hero.
Thankfully, off stage, we get on splendidly.
Permission to come aboard, Captain? Yes, come to the bridge, my dear.
Like HMS Pinafore, isn't it? Yes.
I say, I say.
I am the monarch of the sea The ruler of the Queen's navy My praise Great Britain loudly chants And we are his sisters and his cousins and his aunts His sisters and his cousins and his Oh, God! That's the one show we haven't done together, I think, isn't it? Yes.
Oh, look at that.
Very beautiful.
Well, that's Ben Nevis.
Oh, that is? Oh, right.
How big is Ben Nevis? 4,406 feet.
Well done.
Wow.
"Wherever I wander, wherever I rove "The hills of the Highlands forever I love.
" Look at the way those three mountains are in Look, look, look, look.
Sort of looks artificial, doesn't it? Yes.
Yes.
You can see the designer's made a backing.
Yes, that's ridiculous.
Tell the designer that never happens.
Three different ways to give it depth.
Yes.
We're mooring up, as our guests have more Highland delights in store for us.
To your very good health, Tim.
Good to see you, a wonderful day.
Thank you.
"Lang may yer lum reek," as they say where I come from.
Mm.
Mind you, I never thought I'd be sitting in the shadow of Ben Nevis sharing a dram with a Sassenach.
No, no, I bet you didn't.
Do you think it's ready? I don't know.
I've never cooked a haggis before, you know? Well, a good one is unbeatable.
Yeah? A bad one is uneatable.
I mean, a bad haggis is just disgusting.
Oi! Have you nicked the whisky? Yes.
Yeah! Pair of bloomin' pirates.
So, to be a Sassenach, you Means you're south of the border, right? No, it means a person from the lowlands.
Ah! It doesn't mean It's not anti-English, as such.
No.
Although people use it in those derogative terms.
Look at that.
Bring on the first remove! Wonderful! Ah! And you cant see the national dish of Scotland without the traditional Address To A Haggis, by Robert Burns.
"Fair fa your honest, sonsie face, Great chieftain o' the puddin'-race! "His knife see rustic Labour dight, An cut you up wi' ready slight, "Trenching your gushing entrails bright, "Like onie ditch, "And then, O' what a glorious sight, Warm-reekin', rich!" Ah! Yes! Brilliant.
Fantastic, Tim.
Here's tae us.
Wha's like us? Gey few And all the rest are deid! Our voyage along the Caledonian has brought us further north than Moscow.
And this morning's mist makes us feel as if we've entered another world.
Today, we followed the canal to its end, where it flows into the sea.
We followed Ben Nevis all the way through most of the canal.
But there it is, hovering over us, very impressive.
Ahead, is a man-made wonder.
A 64ft descent to sea level.
It took 200 stonemasons to build the eight-lock flight.
They named their masterpiece, "Neptune's Staircase.
" This is the longest staircase lock in Britain.
It used to take over half a day to get up or down, now you can do it in an hour and a half, thanks to modern hydraulics.
Thank you.
Pru's in her element.
I love crewing! He's a good captain, this one.
He seems quite good at the job.
And, er He's quite a Well, I wouldn't say attractive, but he's quite a sort of Yeah, he's quite attractive actually.
My heart is still quite in the Highlands, really.
I think we both lost our hearts to the Caledonian Canal.
With hills all around, it's hard to think where the sea is.
We've been very lucky with this weather.
I think it's extraordinary.
Yes.
It's so beautiful.
And very easy to manage, really.
There's just one more lock to go and we'll have crossed Scotland by canal.
Not bad for a couple of octogenarians.
The sea, Tim! We've reached the sea! Hey! It's not often you get to accomplish something new at our stage in life.
Just goes to show what you can do when you stop worrying about what might happen and just get on with it.
So it's farewell to the Highlands.
Well, not quite.
There is another Scottish canal I traveled on my own, but I’ve wanted to show Pru for years.
How would you like to go up the coast a bit to the Western Isles Yes, please! .
.
And along the Crinan Canal? Yes, please.
You up for that? Yep.
Next time, the second leg of our Scottish adventure.
Wonderful view.
And its not all plain sailing Getting very rough, isn't it? Are we going to be all right? But somehow well find a way.
Marooned on an island with the love of my life.
As we head for Britain’s most remote canal.
Idyllic!
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