Green Eggs and Ham (2019) s01e02 Episode Script

Car

1 Hey, guitar player Watch me backflip Watch me backflip Let me work my magic If you only knew How to laugh and dance Whether you're a pancakes Or waffles man We still got a whole lot left to learn If you only knew If you only knew We'll do something new Start a snowball fight in June If you only knew If you only knew Watch me backflip Watch me backflip Let me work my magic If you only knew How the game has changed You'd think it's kind of nice Even when it rains But take any advice With a grain of salt If you only knew If you only knew Watch me backflip Watch me backflip Let me work my magic Let me work my magic Watch me backflip Watch me backflip Let me work my magic When last we left Guy, he'd lost all his hope.
And burnt his briefcase at the end of his rope.
Then a noise, and he grabbed it.
There was something inside! A wild, scary beast! And nowhere to hide! This is it.
I'm done for.
I've lived my last day! Oh, don't be dramatic.
It just wants to play! Ugh! Priceless? Over here! Over here! Look! Look! Fetch! Whoa! Someone, please! Someone! Still going to Meepville! Can't hear that guy screaming! Having too much fun here! Whoa! Whoa! Wait! Wait! Hold on! Hold on! Wait! Wait! I am not playing with you! Oh.
Oh! No.
Oh.
Oh! No, no, no, no! Oh! Why are there so many vases? Still going to Meepville! Still going to Meepville! All right, buddy.
Take it easy.
I just wanna get you back in your briefcase where you'll Hello? Mr.
Am-I? Ugh.
Oh, no.
Stay! Please, stay! Hello? Mr.
Am-I? Is everything all right? Thank you! We're fine! The room is neither on fire nor under water.
Excellent, sir.
We hope you're enjoying your executive suite featuring 17 rare and priceless vases.
Are those, by any chance, insured? No! They're rare and priceless! Anyhoo, as a Quintuple Stainless Member, you are now entitled to a complimentary lullaby! So, if you'll just snuzzle yourself into bed and allow me to tuck you in If you don't mind I sleep better standing up.
Of course, sir.
It's our honor to serve you From Salamasond to Gree And many thanks for respecting Our no pets policy Now we bid you good morrow And hope to see you soon And just a quick reminder Checkout's at noon! Thank you so much.
You're wonderfully talented.
Oh No! No! Yes! Almost home, Mr.
Chickeraffe! Hoo! Ooh! Junk mail! Sweet! Ho! Back flip! Whoa! All right, big fella, welcome to my place.
It's just me here until now! Let me show you around.
Here's pretty much everything, but don't get too comfortable, because the two of us are hittin' the road! Sam thought his search for a buddy was about to end, because inside that case would be his new friend.
Now, who's ready for the first of many hugs? What the Oh! Huh? Oh! Where's the Chickeraffe?! Where is the Chickeraffe? Delay? What delay? No! I told you the animal must be here in Meepville by SnerzDay! Today is Vingsday.
Vingsday, Vongsday, Bangsday, Wingsday, Longsday, SnerzDay! Yes, I know I have a lot of other animals.
I have the most impressive collection of rare and exotic creatures in the entire northeastern quadri-sphere.
Thank you very much! But compared to a Chickeraffe, these guys are all just a bunch of losers! Yes, you are! So, by sunrise on SnerzDay, there's going to be a new head on the wall, either the Chickeraffe's or yours! Can you dig it? Well, I'm not gonna sugar-coat it.
The Bigman sends his love! He said he appreciates our efforts and believes in us forever! Also he asks that I compliment you on your hat specifically.
Gluntz, that was so sugar-coated, I'm gettin' a cavity.
Hey there, big guy.
What can I get you? One Last Job Special to go.
You got it, dear.
Wait! Last Job Special? You mean Yes, I'm retiring from the BADGUY game, Gluntz.
And my one last job is almost over.
What did the guard at the zoo tell us he found outside the Chickeraffe cage? Oh! A kite, a snorkel, and a pole vault pole! It was some of your finest intimidating! Only one place in Glurfsburg sells all those items.
Lem's House of Kites, Snorkels, and Pole Vault Poles.
Oh, poor Lem! Looks like the kite, snorkel, pole vault pole bubble has finally burst.
Hard to believe.
Only one customer this year, and his address is on this receipt.
One last job, Gluntz.
Let's go get our target.
- Destination: eight, three - Eight, three, five Are you writing? 8351 North Bluff Gluff.
- North, not South! - Yes.
And you're sure that's where he lives? The little man who ordered the green eggs and ham? Oh, yes! Sam! That's right! You guys are Briefcase Buddies! No! We are not Briefcase Buddies! Ugh! Our grumpy friend Guy huffed and puffed up the gluff to tell Sam-I-Am that he'd had quite enough.
Sadly, Guy cannot hear me when I tell him, "Beware! Because the BADGUYS, in fact, are already there!" Hmph! Going somewhere? Um, not at all.
I mean, not here at least.
Why do you ask? Why do we ask? I don't know.
Why do you ask? We're looking for something.
Is this your house? This place? No! Why are you at this house if it's not your house? Mmm, technically, I think it's more of a vehicle.
How would you know that if it's not your house? Gotcha question! Woop, woop! You're killin' this, Winks! I'm aware.
Now, if what's in the briefcase is what we think it is, then you're in a lot of trouble.
Briefcase? What briefcase? Oh, oh! This briefcase! Nothing! Nothing's in here! This briefcase is just an unremarkable attache sold in most major stores.
By attache, of course, I mean briefcase.
You certainly seem to be saying briefcase a lot.
Briefcase? I mean, am I? I-I don't think so.
Not anymore than I usually say briefcase, which is very rarely.
Anyway, I'm sorry I can't help you with your case, - but I'm sure it'll be brief.
- A real brief case! Okay, look, this thing isn't even mine.
I took it by mistake.
Gluntz, net me.
Just stay still.
This won't hurt at all.
Who are you people? We're the BADGUYS! Yes! I've always wanted to say that! Oh, I'm gonna have so much to journal about tonight! Hey, hop on in! Come on! Let's skedaddle! Go, go! He's got my car.
Oh, my gosh! A fleer! We've got a fleer! Oh, that's right.
This was supposed to be your one last job.
You were ready to pack it up, but oh, boy, that is not happening today! Not yet! Not today! Uh, but, uh Aww.
Sam-I-Am had ruined McWinkle's big day.
He'd worked his last nerve and turned his fur grey.
What? Oh, nothing.
Whoo! Isn't fleeing fun? Whoo-hoo-hoo! Whoo! Whoo-hoo! Oh, that was a close call, huh? But you are safe and sound right here in this car with me.
Yup! One 100% secure! What's going on? Who are those maniacs? Oh, they're the BADGUYS.
Thought they made that pretty clear.
Wait! Whoa, whoa, whoa! Don't open that! Whoa! Oh, you let it out! It? This Chickeraffe has a name, you know.
I just haven't decided on one yet.
So far I've been calling him Big Fella.
But I'm also considering Chickpea or Guy Jr.
Just spitballing.
Although, Guy Jr.
is the clear front-runner at the moment.
I don't care.
Would you please stop licking me? Ugh, great work, Guy.
You gave him a furball.
No, no! People will see it! It's fine.
Look at him! He loves it! Oh, Guy Jr.
loves hanging his head out the window! Everyone's after this beast! Oh! If anyone sees it, we're gonna be in a whole lot of trouble! Trouble? Relax! I am a licensed Wildlife Rescuer! Those BADGUYS wanna sell the poor fella to a collector, whereas I have his best interests in mind.
Your mother must be proud.
Now, let me out.
Pssh, come on.
Where're you headed? Meepville.
Get out! I'm headed to the Big Meep, too! That's where I'm taking Guy Jr.
! So, what're you gonna do in the MVL, travel buddy? I'm headed to Meepville to be a Paint Watcher.
Whoa! Watching paint dry? Fun! Fun, fun.
Fun, fun, fun.
It's not "fun".
It's a solid, practical, fall-back profession.
Uh-huh.
Very solid! Not giving up on your dream at all.
Just let me out right here! Hey.
I'm sorry if I wasn't super psyched about your new job, travel bud.
You just struck me as the kind of guy who's destined for great things! Well, I hate to disappoint you, Sam-I-Am, but I'm just not that kind of guy.
Okay, well, - you wanna exchange contact info? - Nope.
Then how about a hug goodbye? For the Chickeraffe.
Huh-uh.
Got it.
Not a hugger.
I respect that.
Then how about a nice handshake and some firm plans to meet up in Meepville, - just as soon as you get there.
- No! Mrs.
Brown You've got a lovely daughter Honey, don't jostle.
When the seatbelt feels like it's digging into your skin, that's how you know it's working.
Oh, I can't believe I forgot the safety poofs! Mom, it's smooshing my face.
There.
Can you move? - No! - Great! Huh? Hit it over here! - Yes! - Yay! - Hey, nice shot! - Score! - Oh, gosh! - Whoa! Wicked match, kid! Mrs.
Brown You've got a lovely daughter Meepville is gonna be super fun.
I promise.
It's a business trip, Mom.
You're only going to present your beans at the Snerz thing.
Oh, no! It's not just a thing! It's the SnerzDay Gala thing.
Plus, just imagine all the amazing sights there are to see in the big city.
Yeah! That's right! I heard they have a toy store there that's so big, it has a roller coaster inside! - Do you think we can go see that? - You bet we can! There's a great view from the SnerzCo Corporate Conference Room! Fully panoramic, extremely clean windows.
Trust me, you'll be able to see all the coolest things from a safe distance.
Huh? Oh! I'm saved! Hello! Please stop! Please? Mom, look! Look! I think that guy needs help! Help! Please! I need so much help! Come on.
Oh, thank goodness.
I'm sorry to bother you, but I'm stranded out here, and there's no one to help me, and I really need a ride to Meep When Guy saw Michellee, his face felt like fire.
She'd witnessed him wreck his beloved Self-Flyer.
- Mom, slow down! - Absolutely not! You never pick up hitchhikers on the side of the road, E.
B, or anywhere else for that matter.
But Mom, look at him.
The poor guy's stranded.
I will not look at him because taking my eyes off the road would make a dangerous situation even more dangerous, plus the tenor of his voice clearly indicates that he's a deranged lunatic.
- I'm not.
- Or a drifter hoping to make us pawns in his treacherous ruse.
Also not.
And have you even considered the possibility that he's a felon? I'm sorry, but if you're passing on the whole giving me a ride thing, you mind finishing this out of my ear shot? Your judgments are very hurtful.
You're right! That was insensitive of me.
Anyway, good luck with the rest of your travel, Mr.
Lunatic! - Mom, wait! - Buckle up your headbelt, sweetie.
I'm kickin' it into overdrive! Mom, stop! Chickeraffe Green eggs Annoying little man Annoying! Guy started to think he'd made the wrong choice.
Huh?! Hey, who said that? What is that voice? I'm your narrator, Guy.
This dude in your brain, and if you can hear me, you're going insane! Green eggs! Green eggs! Green eggs and ham! Green eggs! Green eggs! Green eggs and ham! Guy! Guy! Can you hear me, Guy? Hello! Who are you? What's happening? Show yourself! Rain! Oh, it's beautiful! It's refreshing! It's Oh! Ugh! It's all eggs! Guy! Hey, Guy! You look frightened, Guy! You look weak! You look Hungry.
Oh, hey there! Guess I must've made a wrong turn and ended up right back where you were.
Weird.
Good thing I happened to grab some extra food and Bevvies, which I will just leave on the off chance you could use a little pick-me-up on your long, lonely journey to the ville.
Ah! Ick! What is this? - Hot chocolate? - Oh.
That is my bad right there.
See, I ordered a steaming hot chocolate for myself, and a frosty, cold, iced chocolate for you.
Ah! Oh, the hot chocolate feels great! You know, considering how chilly and cool it gets riding around in this heavily air-conditioned car all day.
So travel buddies again? Green eggs! Green eggs! Green eggs and ham! Fine, I'll come to Meepville with you.
Meep City! As long as that beast of yours promises to leave me alone! Absolutely! Do not worry.
I'm an expert when it comes to dealing with wild Chickeraffes.
Ugh! Every time! Mmm.
Mmm.
Ew.
Mmm.
Hey, man! You gotta get in on this! I got enough for both of us! No! I will not eat them in a car.
Okay.
That is an oddly specific stance to take on the matter.
But I'm just gonna keep this edible joy right here for when you change your mind.
I've got a better plan.
Ah, good thinking, trav buddy.
You take a load off and get some shut-eye.
You are safe and sound with old Sam behind the wheel.
Hey, Guy! Rise and shine, sleepyhead! Morning, lazybones! Hope you slept well! Hey, do me a favor real quick and barrel roll out of the car when you get a chance, would ya? - Just tuck your legs and - Sam! What are you doing out there? Oh, out here? Well, we had to make a jump for it before the car hit that giant lake straight ahead.
What lake? Oh, sorry.
It's just below the cliff.
Cliff? Hey, guitar player Mmm New York's number-one cut creator Uh-huh, uh-huh Hey, speed skater T-t-t-t-take a right Let's put an ad in the papers Uh Backflip You know what to do Ooh Backflip You know what to do Ooh, let your freak flag fly Watch me backflip Watch me backflip Let me work my magic Let me work my magic Watch me backflip Watch me backflip Let me work my magic
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