Green Eggs and Ham (2019) s01e04 Episode Script


1 Hey, guitar player Watch me backflip Watch me backflip Let me work my magic If you only knew How to laugh and dance Whether you're a pancakes Or waffles man We still got a whole lot left to learn If you only knew If you only knew We'll do something new Start a snowball fight in June If you only knew If you only knew Watch me backflip Watch me backflip Let me work my magic If you only knew How the game has changed You'd think it's kind of nice Even when it rains But take any advice With a grain of salt If you only knew If you only knew Watch me backflip Watch me backflip Let me work my magic Let me work my magic Watch me backflip Watch me backflip Let me work my magic Where's the Chickeraffe? Wh-What I'm about to do is in no way an admission of guilt.
Huh? Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Hey, McWinkle! Watch out for the bars! Not helpful.
Sorry, big fella.
It's just you and me now, and I am perfectly happy raising you as a strong, single Sam.
We don't need a Guy to take care of us.
Oh, thank goodness you're back! I missed you so much.
I've been a total wreck.
They're here! Quick family portrait.
Will you please stop? There's no time.
- They're coming for me and you - Hey! Usually, Michellee's upturned little nose is more wrinkled like raisins than pink like a rose.
But last night with Guy, over chit chat and beans, a friendship blossomed that was quite unforeseen.
We were just on our way to the dining car, and I thought that Uh, E.
actually E.
thought you might like to have breakfast with us? - No.
It's out of the question.
- Of course.
We'd love to.
Oh, well, all right then.
I mean, it didn't matter to me either way.
I mean It did matter to E.
Tell Mr.
Jenkins I'll bring him leftovers.
Is that the escaped Chickeraffe? It's a Chickeraffe.
Why do you have a Chickeraffe?! Well, it's It's an interesting story.
It really is.
Plot twists for days.
Oh! I knew you were a dangerous man.
I can't believe you lied to me.
Actually, I can.
I just can't believe I was stupid enough to trust you.
Wait! Give us the Chickeraffe.
Now I see what you were trying to tell me.
You wanted us to flee! Huh? Viva los Briefcase Buddies! Love your shoes.
They really are fabulous.
Mom, gotta go! Bye! Come back! Genuine Friendship! Oh! Yup, we're gonna have to jump it.
Are you nuts? It's a bottomless ravine.
Okay, we'll flip up bruckle.
I call tails.
See? There is a bottom.
End of the line, boys.
Any last words before we net you up? I have several words.
Don't care.
Gluntz, now.
Sir, it only seems fair.
I did offer him last words.
Rookie move.
I have a plan.
Follow my lead.
No, your lead is not a good lead.
My last words are - Fly, Mr.
Jenkins! - Whoa! Fly! That was very moving.
The rare and noble Chickeraffe is like a living photograph, poised and regal, lithe and spry, but did you know Chickeraffes can't fly! I never realized how much falling - feels like not falling.
- Huh? I always get my target.
Let's see how you get out of this one! I should not have asked that question.
Phew! They made it.
Let's go, young lady.
We're going straight to the Think About What You've Done car, where you can think about what you've done all the way to Meepville.
Tails! Hmm.
Told you we should have jumped.
Turn this train around right now.
Just need to see your tickets first.
Tickets? This might cause a slight delay in our plans.
Cronies! We've been at this game of one-upmanship for years.
But now, when my Chickeraffe arrives, you will have to admit that it's game over.
A Chickeraffe is proof positive that I am better than you.
That would be a game changer.
A Chickeraffe does sound delish.
We're not eating it.
It's purely a symbol to show how much better I am than you.
I don't see a Chickeraffe.
All I see is a desperate little man on that wall.
When are we actually gonna see it? You will see it on SnerzDay.
Because you're all invited to my luxurious, stupendous, absolutely out-of-this-world gala, where the pièce de résistance will be le Chickeraffe.
Sounds delicious.
Again, we're not eating it.
Is that the same person? Is that Siobhan? Or Roger? You're both equally irritating.
Now, just leave my eyes.
It had better be there, Snerzy, or it's game over for you.
It'll be there, fudgecakes.
And when it is, I'm gonna laugh in the faces of all of you, my dear, dear friends.
RSVP by Tongsday.
No plus ones.
Quick question.
Shouldn't you know Chickeraffes can't fly, Mr.
Wildlife Expert? Biology isn't a science, Guy.
You seem really bad at your job.
I know, right? We're both bad at our jobs.
What are the odds? Guess that's why we make such a great team.
We are not a team.
Of course we are.
We're Team Jenkins.
Who else is gonna take care of the little big fella? Not me.
I'm gonna get as far away from you and this beast as possible.
Did he just say "Papa"? That's impossible.
He is an animal.
He doesn't speak.
Maybe not.
But he does feel.
And he's hurt that this supreme dream team is breaking apart.
That's ridiculous.
See? - What's the matter with him? - He's emotionally distraught.
I think he's hungry.
The wildlife expert is on it.
Watch him for me, Papa.
I am not his papa.
I'm not your papa.
But Sam, he's he's a bumbling fool, and you need someone to look after you.
So, hmm, perhaps, maybe I'll stay a while.
You know, just until I know you're safe.
Guy Junior.
OMG, you're staying! Whoa! No, no, I-I was just, uh We'll work this out later at the team meeting.
Now, I have many delectable food options here.
First up a worm.
Lots of protein, free range.
Very nice.
Blech! Phew! I was rooting for you the whole time.
Not a problem.
Second choice corn.
I have one more option, vis-à-vis the meal.
The wait has literally almost killed me.
Big fella How about this? It's, uh, totally organic, and earthy.
It's a real Pickyraffe.
Bet he gets that from you.
Oh, will you please stop who-ling? Just try the worm.
Maybe you'll like it, huh? I mean, you'll never know until you try it.
Well! Pleased to meet you, Mr.
I can't stand it anymore.
So he eats ties.
Okay, we need, like, a million ties.
That was my only one.
Make it stop! Let's see here.
Papa, Papa, Papa! Papa, Papa, Papa! Hmm.
Oh! You know what they say.
"Where there's smoke, there's ties.
" Best friend to super best friend, what is our plan? Over.
My plan is to find it some ties.
You stay put.
What? You didn't say "over.
" Over! That's because I am not an insane person.
Best friend to super best friend, I propose we both go together.
Teamwork makes the dream work.
Over Hold the phone.
Somebody poach me.
Sam, no! Oh, I can't watch.
The guard is on duty.
Everything is under control, including me.
A fox guarding the hen house? Well, that's progressive.
We're here for ties.
Remember? Aww! Couldn't agree more.
So, time for some teamwork.
Fine, but there'll be no dream work.
- See any ties? - Shh! Relax.
They're all the way back there.
No one's gonna hear a thing.
Mom! There's a Chickeraffe in the bath! Sure.
And last night, there was a was-it in your closet.
Come to the table, sweetie.
It's time for lunch.
But, Mom Phew! That was close.
You know, when I was his age, I had an imaginary friend named Reggie.
But my mom Get this.
She acted like he was real.
She even put out a plate for him at breakfast.
Pretty great, huh? She sounds as bananas as you.
Okay, that was harsh.
Also, you never talked about your folks.
Would they do stuff like that? Let's just find the ties.
Oh-ho-ho! Did your family do this? I mean, every family does this, right? Mark me! Mark me! Wait.
Hat or no hat? Hat or no hat? Hat Start searching.
What sort of man doesn't own a necktie? Um, this sort of man.
Don't they look happy? Of all the farmhouses in the world, we find the one where the farmer has no neck.
There, there.
Hold all the phones! Let's move, team.
I spy a tie.
Um I've been thinking about what I did for a while.
So, are we good now? No, we are not, Elanabeth.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to finish my count by SnerzDay.
Okay, I get it.
I'll just read this super-boring safety manual all day.
That seems like a fair punishment.
Oh, wow.
That's how a seatbelt works.
Hit it over here! - Yay! - Nice shot.
- Score! - Whoa! I could just stare at the corner.
Honey, I don't need you to punish yourself.
I just need you to think before you run off like that.
But Mr.
Jenkins could have gotten hurt.
You could have gotten hurt.
Please, don't ever scare me like that ever again.
I'm sorry, Mom.
It's just I'm just kind of cooped up, and last night on the top of the train What was that? It's okay.
Jenkins kept me safe, just like Sam is keeping him safe.
You were on top of the train? The moving train? No.
Genuine Friendship! This is so exciting! I love that we're working together, you know.
Really making that dream work.
Please, just do what I say and stay out of my way.
We need to be efficient.
- Got it.
Get in.
Get out.
- Right.
And whilst we're at it, it wouldn't hurt to fry up - a nice green egg or two.
- Sam! But have you ever had green eggs and ham with a fox? So good.
- They really know their eggs.
- Shh! You look good, Fox.
- Hey there, Sandra.
- Oh, hey, Michael.
I brought you a present.
The ones with the caraway center are my favorites.
I don't want them.
Give 'em to Terrence.
What's with the tie? It's for our date tonight.
I was thinking ice skating.
Maybe a little smooth jazz.
It's a hard pass, Michael.
Michael I like smooth jazz.
Not now, Terrence.
Just one date, please.
I think you're the sweetest, smartest, greenest hen in the whole world! You're a fox.
You eat eggs.
Not anymore.
I haven't touched an egg in a month.
I'm on this cleanse now where all I eat is worms, corn, and mud, and I feel amazing! I've changed, Sandra.
I'm a new fox.
But you're still a fox.
Seems like they have their issues, but I'm sure they can work them out.
Love fails.
You get your hopes up, it seems wonderful, and then, it blows up right in your face.
Boom! Same as everything else.
You'll see.
I'm a reformed fox! There.
He's done for the day.
I don't need no eggs! Who said fox need eggs? I don't need no eggs.
I don't need eggs.
I don't need I need eggs! Huh? That was a really nice pillow.
You are stronger than this, Michael.
Try to hold it together.
Now's our chance.
Stay here.
T-W-B! Teamwork buddies.
He's under a lot of stress right now.
Greetings, self.
It's time to list our simple truths.
Corn is delicious.
Corn is delicious.
Corn is del I love eggs! I love eggs! Shh, shh.
Hey, hey.
No, you don't.
No, I don't.
Keep it together, Michael.
You're strong.
You're calm.
You're an egg-free warrior.
I am an egg-free warrior.
This is very soothing.
Whoa! I told you to stay outside.
I know I was supposed to stay outside and not make inspirational speeches, but you and I are responsible for that Chickeraffe out there, and like it or not, he's depending on us to get that tie off that fox.
We can do this.
We have to do this.
Because you were right.
We're not a team.
Finally, you see.
We're a family.
End of inspirational speech.
What's the plan? What is nature? What is nurture? I don't know.
That's why I call it "not-sure".
Stop that! Stop thinking about eggs! You can do this, Michael.
Huh? No one is removing your tie right now.
No one is removing my tie right now.
You're relaxed.
You're in your happy place.
Just you and Sandra on your date.
Just me and Sandra on our date.
Listening to the smoothest of smooth jazz.
Huh? There aren't two people in your house, taking your necktie.
There aren't two people in my house, taking my necktie.
Let's get out of here.
Ooh, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa.
You were right, Sam.
We are a sort of family.
And you can't choose your family or really even leave them.
You're just stuck with them forever.
So, in the end it's easier to just surrender and let them stick around.
You said it.
And it's a good thing I did let you hang around, because we're a great team.
You're the brains.
Dare I say, I'm the other brains.
All it takes is a dash of Sam, a pinch of Guy.
Throw 'em together, and what do you get? A recipe for success.
Quiche Lorraine.
Whoa! For the record, I did not mean to do that.
How are you hungry right now? What? Your stomach.
It's Namaste? Hey, guitar player Mmm New York's number-one cut creator Uh-huh, uh-huh Hey, speed skater T-t-t-t-take a right Let's put an ad in the papers Uh Backflip You know what to do Ooh Backflip You know what to do Ooh, let your freak flag fly Watch me backflip Watch me backflip Let me work my magic Let me work my magic Watch me backflip Watch me backflip Let me work my magic