Grounded For Life (2001) s02e05 Episode Script
201 - Bang on a Drum
OK, that goes in the basement.
You're draggin' it.
You're draggin' it.
You're lucky I'm not throwing it.
Well, wedding's over early.
Did you bring me back some cake? The wedding hasn't started, dad.
Well, I thought you and Eddie were playing the reception.
That had been the plan.
Yeah, well, at the, uh, sound check we had some artistic differences.
Gimme my guitar.
Come and get it, [Bleep.]
.
[Feedback squeals.]
You boys were never any good at sharing.
Oh, man, dad, I need a beer.
Hi, where's Sean? Claudia, I bet you brought me cake.
No.
No, no, cake.
Sean? Sean: Uh Hi, there you are.
No, Claudia, I'm not goin' back.
- Oh, yes, you are.
- No, I'm not.
Yes, you are.
You have to play.
It's Lina's wedding.
- I don't want to! - Yeah, well, I don't wanna wear a dress that makes my ass look like a birthday present But I'm a bridesmaid, so here I am.
[Door opens.]
No, no, no, no, no, no! Lily, take that stuff back out to the car because your dad is gonna play this wedding.
No, you don't, 'cause I'm not goin' back, and this wouldn't be a problem if you hadn't dragged me into it in the first place.
My wedding's in a week, and my band cancels on me? Honey, these things happen.
my baby-sitter canceled on me.
My caterer's flaking out on me, I've got no flowers, and now this? It's supposed to be my day.
I know.
Oh.
[Cries.]
Come on.
Here, here.
I mean, you'll just-- We'll find another band.
No, I won't.
I've already tried everywhere.
Uh [Blows nose.]
OK, I've got it.
I have got it.
I've got it.
Sean and Eddie can be your band.
Sean and Eddie have a band? They used to, and they were great.
That's it.
Sean and Eddie are your band.
What? You put me in an impossible position.
Well, you could have said no.
I did say no.
[Cries.]
I'm sorry.
It's just, it's not a good idea.
It can be just like old times.
Come on, do you remember old times? [Rock music plays.]
Mazel tov! You suck.
If you were a man, I'd kick your ass.
Today, I am a man.
All right.
Don't freak out.
Don't freak out.
Come on, Sean, please? It'll be fun And, um, you know, you'd be in a band again.
Oh, and you like that.
[Giggles.]
[Rock music plays.]
Whoo-hoo! OK, Lina, we're in.
Yes! You forced my hand, baby.
Not my fault.
Lily: OK, am I supposed to take the amp to the basement or to the car? Car.
Basement.
Lily, take it to the car.
Take it to the basement.
Ohh! I'm serious! Me, too! Oh, fine! I'm gonna take it myself.
Good! Unh! You're making my sweet little girl lug this big thing around? She's not your little girl.
She's my roadie.
Hey, what's the matter with you? I thought you and Eddie enjoyed playing together.
We do.
I was psyched, but we needed a new drummer.
Lou used to be our drummer, but sadly, Lou Lou couldn't be there.
It's a damn shame.
It won't be the same without you, Lou.
Guys, I'm sorry.
I just can't get Saturday off.
Lily: What are you doing? Oh, is Henry lost again? No, no.
We're trying to get a drummer for the band.
Your--your--your search is over, Mr.
Finnerty.
I'm your dude.
You play the drums? Hell, yeah.
He's in the marching band.
Yeah, yeah.
Check me out.
[Imitates drums, cymbals.]
All right.
All right.
All right.
I'm sure you're good.
Yeah.
We gotta check out all the other candidates, though.
[Playing badly.]
Yaaaa-yeah! [Drums play, cymbals crash.]
[Plays drums marching style.]
Cool effect.
What effect? [Plays drums.]
Hey, man, this gig doesn't pay a lot.
Look, I'm not about the money, all right? I'm about the music.
Me, too.
Right on.
I'll take his money.
I didn't raise that boy to be a sucker.
How could you let me carry that amp all the way to the car? I didn't want it in the car.
[Telephone rings.]
Hello.
Oh, hi, Lina.
Yes, of--of course Sean's coming back.
There's nothing-- Get a deejay! She heard you, dumb ass.
I'm telling you, there's no baby pictures of me.
So? Do you realize what that means? Yeah, after 2 kids, mom and dad got bored.
No, I'm adopted.
W-wait.
Why would mom and dad adopt you? Well, because they wanted a boy.
They had a boy.
I mean, one who's not so nerdy.
OK, you wanna know the truth? Here's the truth.
You're a robot.
A robot?! Shh! You're very sophisticated.
You cost $14 million.
No way.
Yeah.
Why do you think mom gets so worried when you fall off your bike? Hey, hey, Lily, go get the amp out of my car.
Ooh! You know, she's not very happy about the band breakin' up.
Drummer didn't work out.
Well, you know what's weird? At first, this kid seemed great.
You guys think there's gonna be any record execs at this wedding, or what? You never know.
You know the greatest wedding band of all time? Pink Floyd.
That's how they started out.
Oh, God.
Come on.
There's gonna be no record executives at the kastivia- phaph wedding.
But maybe there'll be some babes, though, huh? Yeah, there'll be some babes.
There's gonna be some babes there, and I'm gonna get all the babes.
They're gonna get all of me, 'cause that's the way it is.
Guitars Sean: No, no, and the front man doesn't get the babes? Come on.
Ask Mick Jagger.
I'm sorry, dudes.
It's the drummer.
Look, drummers are gargoyles, man.
That's why you stick 'em in back.
The drummer gets in line behind the roadies.
All right, look, a couple of weeks ago, all right, me and my boys, we played this gig over at the bayside lanes.
No lie.
This chick, she comes walkin' up right in the middle of my set.
She puts her boobs on my high hat.
That I have never seen.
I have.
Well, it's nice you're able to be an influence in a young man's life.
Oh, man, we were having a great time being in a band again.
It's just Problem was, we started developing a following.
[Rock music plays.]
Sean: Hey, Lily.
Hey.
This is Dean.
Dean, my daughter Lily.
Hey.
Hey.
Where do you go? Laguardia.
Public.
I'm at St.
Finnian's.
Bummer.
[Laughs.]
Yeah.
Oof! [Feedback squeals.]
Could you pick that up, please? Uh, OK, what? So now, I'm, like, your roadie? No, it's just you knocked it down.
It'd be cool if you picked it up.
That's fine.
That's fine, OK.
I have nothing better to do than hang around here and be your stupid roadie.
Lily, we don't need a roadie.
Dad, don't be a martyr, OK? I'll be your stupid roadie.
Happy now? Dean, count us in, all right? Right.
[Clears throat.]
[Clicks.]
[Rock music plays.]
Whoo-hoo! Whoo! Put your hand here, daddy.
You can feel him drumming.
Over my dead body! Over my dead body Over my dead body Over my dead body Over my dead body How can I be a robot? I have all these memories.
But you remember being a baby? Nobody remembers being a baby.
I do.
Everybody does.
I mean, I remember sleeping in my crib.
I remember peeing in my diaper.
You know, I even remember the day they switched you on.
No way.
I'm gonna ask mom about that.
Go ahead.
She's not gonna tell you the truth.
She's just gonna say "Henry, stop being silly.
" Lina, I know.
I'm working on him.
I promise.
Mom.
Yeah, yeah, hold on.
[Whispers.]
Yeah.
Am I a robot? Henry, stop being silly.
Oh, my God.
I am a robot.
I don't get it.
If that organ grinder was after Lily, why didn't you just get rid of him? Dad, dad, it's not so simple.
You never had daughters.
See, if she would have figured out that I was trying to push them apart, it would only drive them together.
Uh-huh.
Yes.
Yes, he's here.
Hold on.
Sean, it's Lina.
No, no, no, no, no.
I think you should explain to her what the hell you're doing.
I have nothing to say to her.
Take it.
No, no, no! Take it! No! It is bad luck to talk to a bride on her wedding day.
Oh, it is only bad luck if you see her, and if you're the groom.
OK, enough has happened today.
I just don't wanna risk it.
Risk what? This isn't about fate, this is about you.
No, no, no, no, no.
No, this is about you, OK? This is about you and your genes.
My genes? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You have a thing for musicians, OK? It's in your DNA, and now you've passed this groupie gene onto our daughter.
Oh, that is so insulting.
How shallow do you think I am? Look, why did you fall for me, OK? Because I was in a band.
And lots of other reasons.
Oh, yeah? Gimme one.
You have beautiful hands.
I have naggly, white, freckly, pasty, pink Irish hands.
You're lying.
Ooh! Ugh! Yes, I'm still here! Hey, dad.
Hey, Eddie, did you bring me any cake? No.
But I brought you some shrimps.
Jumbo! What's this guy doing in my house? Oh, same as me.
He wants his money.
Oh, oh, I thought he was all about the music.
Yeah, big problem.
There wasn't any music, so I want my money.
I wasn't asking you.
Hey, wait in the kitchen.
I'll handle this.
So you're Dean? Yeah, why? Hey, watch the sass, music boy, I got disposable razors older than you.
Hey, what's that supposed to mean? and I've got razors.
What's the matter with you? You've been acting like a jerk all week.
Towel? No, thanks.
Uh, you're looking a little sweaty there.
No, it's all right.
I'm cool.
I-I'll just leave this here.
He doesn't want a towel, OK! He told youhe doesn't want a towel, so why are you trying to force a towel on a man who quite obviously is not in need of a towel? OK?! I can do it.
I'm classically trained.
Stop following me! Just ask your dad to give me another chance.
Quit bumping into me with that! Lily, take all that stuff back to the car.
Dad, can you just stop being so selfish? All right? You're ruining the most precious day of What's-her-name's life.
Yes, sweetie, see, your dad's been thinking about this a lot, and he's concerned that your DNA, which you inherited from me, is causing you to have the hot pants for Dean.
What?! I don't have the hot pants for Dean.
I don't even know what hot pants are.
I--I think it means you like him.
Ew! I--I do not like him.
Man, I can't believe you pulled all this stuff because she's got the hot pants for the kid.
No! No, no, no, no! I don't, OK? I hate him! Sorry, bud, but, uh You're not wanted here.
Right, who are you? I'm Lily's boyfriend.
Ha ha! He is not my boyfriend.
Yeah, she loves you.
No, I don't! See? Now get out here! Does somebody want to get band geek off of me? Oh, you'd like that wouldn't you? You want a piece of me? Just get the hell out of here! Run away, loser! Aah! [Drum banging and crashing.]
Brad: I-I'm OK, Lily! A-a-a-aah! Heh hoo! Baby, someday you are gonna have to finally deal with all this, OK? Girls like boys.
Mm-hmm.
Sometimes girls fall in love with boys.
Occasionally, they get married and then they need a band.
Oh, God.
Paulina does not need a band.
Dad, you should've seen the list of songs she requested.
Hey, you know what's a really great song? Sean: No.
Reunited by peaches and herb.
Oh, God, come on, are you out of your mind? It's nice.
I bet you could play it.
Oh! Oh, God.
She doesn't have a play list.
Oh, dear God! Come on, it's just a few songs.
It's her wedding.
Peaches and erb? Herb.
There are worse songs.
Oh, yeah, how about sometimes when we touch? Did you peek at this? Oh, no! Just kill me, God, now, please.
There's some rockers on there.
What, look, Y.
M.
C.
A? Well, you won't have to do that one alone, huh? Everyone'll be singing along, doing the little dance-- Baby, do we have to do this? Yes.
Ohh, no! Come on, baby.
I love you.
I honestly love you Oh, no.
Reunited? And it feels so good Reunited 'cause we understood There's one perfect thing And, sugar, this one is it We both are so excited 'cause we're Reunited, hey, hey So there are I am playing soft rock hits from the seventies and beyond, all right, and I'm watching my daughter mopping sweat off the guy who's Gonna make you the youngest grandfather since, uh Me? Yeah.
Yeah, dad, yeah, yeah, honestly, that's what I was afraid of, you know, and I thought I had no way out, and then, OK, like a gift from the gods, this kid Dean hands me the weapon of his own destruction.
I can't believe I actually have to play these songs.
I know.
It is so uncool.
No offense or anything, Lily, but your old man's a buttwad.
None taken.
I thought--I thought he wanted to rock.
He doesn't want to rock, I want to rock.
I know, I know, it's so sad.
And the other day I caught him watching vh1.
I can't stand this stuff.
How am I supposed to play the chicken dance and not throw up? Well, you know what? Maybe-- Maybe you should throw up, you know? That'll show him.
Maybe I should.
Maybe I should because I have integrity.
Hell, yeah.
Yeah.
There it was, right in front of me, Dean's Achilles heel.
[Imitating dean.]
Integrity, man! I have integrity! What the holy heck do teenagers know about integrity? Nothing, but they take it very seriously.
Reunited, hey, hey Oh, yeah, yeah, that was good, good.
Oh, just a couple things.
Um, Dean, you know that part where I'm singing lover, lover, this is solid love And you're exactly what I-- You know that part I'm talking about? At the pause, can you just spin your stick like the drummer from loverboy? That would be just awesome.
[Mutters.]
Excuse me? Nothing.
No, I thought I heard you say something.
Please, please, don't--if you have something to say, say it.
I don't want to stifle anyone's creativity or integrity.
Look, it's just, uh This song's crap.
Excuse me? It's a crappy song.
I don't see what you don't understand about that.
Wow.
Crappy song, huh? I happen to think this is a classic.
Reunited is a haunting expression of pure, hot human need and desire, and if you can't understand the aesthetic beauty of peaches and erb-- Herb.
Then you can-- I will gladly and willingly accept your resignation from this crappy band right now.
So if you'll excuse us, OK, some of us have a wedding to play.
Sorry it didn't work out.
Can we take it from the top, please? No.
Excuse me? No, he's right.
These songs blow.
Oh, wait, so you're quitting, too? I'm not quitting.
I'm saying you should be fired.
You can't fire me.
This is my band.
It's not much of a band without us.
All right, fine, then, fine.
All right, fine, I quit, OK? But I'm taking my stuff with me.
Give me my guitar.
Come and get it, [Bleep.]
.
Whoo-hoo, OK! So you made your brave stand for peaches and herb and it was a wonderful effort and you look like an idiot.
Nicely done.
Thank you.
Yeah, but look, babe, if, uh, if Lily's got this groupie gene, you're screwed.
My father couldn't stop it and neither can you.
Hey, I've got plenty of I-- Uh-uh-uh, it's way out of your pasty, freckled, Irish hands.
Reunited and it feels so good Reunited 'cause we understood There's one perfect fit And, sugar, this one is it We both are so excited 'cause we're Reunited, hey--hey! Hit it! [Tempo picks up.]
Reunited And it feels so good Reunited 'Cause we understood Reunited It's a perfect fit Reunited Sugar, this one is it Reunited We're so damn excited Reunited 'Cause we just got reunited Reunited We're a perfect fit Reunited Baby, I love your-- Reunited, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey Reunited, oy, oy, oy, oy Reunited hey, hey, hey Wow.
Didn't feel like I was going that fast.
Running around the entire block in 6 seconds? No human could do that.
I love being a robot.
Is Lily home? I don't know.
I'll use my X-ray vision.
Nope.
All right, I'll just ring the bell.
Hey, Brad, I'm gonna run around the block.
See you in 6 seconds.
What's with Henry? Just snapped.
You're draggin' it.
You're draggin' it.
You're lucky I'm not throwing it.
Well, wedding's over early.
Did you bring me back some cake? The wedding hasn't started, dad.
Well, I thought you and Eddie were playing the reception.
That had been the plan.
Yeah, well, at the, uh, sound check we had some artistic differences.
Gimme my guitar.
Come and get it, [Bleep.]
.
[Feedback squeals.]
You boys were never any good at sharing.
Oh, man, dad, I need a beer.
Hi, where's Sean? Claudia, I bet you brought me cake.
No.
No, no, cake.
Sean? Sean: Uh Hi, there you are.
No, Claudia, I'm not goin' back.
- Oh, yes, you are.
- No, I'm not.
Yes, you are.
You have to play.
It's Lina's wedding.
- I don't want to! - Yeah, well, I don't wanna wear a dress that makes my ass look like a birthday present But I'm a bridesmaid, so here I am.
[Door opens.]
No, no, no, no, no, no! Lily, take that stuff back out to the car because your dad is gonna play this wedding.
No, you don't, 'cause I'm not goin' back, and this wouldn't be a problem if you hadn't dragged me into it in the first place.
My wedding's in a week, and my band cancels on me? Honey, these things happen.
my baby-sitter canceled on me.
My caterer's flaking out on me, I've got no flowers, and now this? It's supposed to be my day.
I know.
Oh.
[Cries.]
Come on.
Here, here.
I mean, you'll just-- We'll find another band.
No, I won't.
I've already tried everywhere.
Uh [Blows nose.]
OK, I've got it.
I have got it.
I've got it.
Sean and Eddie can be your band.
Sean and Eddie have a band? They used to, and they were great.
That's it.
Sean and Eddie are your band.
What? You put me in an impossible position.
Well, you could have said no.
I did say no.
[Cries.]
I'm sorry.
It's just, it's not a good idea.
It can be just like old times.
Come on, do you remember old times? [Rock music plays.]
Mazel tov! You suck.
If you were a man, I'd kick your ass.
Today, I am a man.
All right.
Don't freak out.
Don't freak out.
Come on, Sean, please? It'll be fun And, um, you know, you'd be in a band again.
Oh, and you like that.
[Giggles.]
[Rock music plays.]
Whoo-hoo! OK, Lina, we're in.
Yes! You forced my hand, baby.
Not my fault.
Lily: OK, am I supposed to take the amp to the basement or to the car? Car.
Basement.
Lily, take it to the car.
Take it to the basement.
Ohh! I'm serious! Me, too! Oh, fine! I'm gonna take it myself.
Good! Unh! You're making my sweet little girl lug this big thing around? She's not your little girl.
She's my roadie.
Hey, what's the matter with you? I thought you and Eddie enjoyed playing together.
We do.
I was psyched, but we needed a new drummer.
Lou used to be our drummer, but sadly, Lou Lou couldn't be there.
It's a damn shame.
It won't be the same without you, Lou.
Guys, I'm sorry.
I just can't get Saturday off.
Lily: What are you doing? Oh, is Henry lost again? No, no.
We're trying to get a drummer for the band.
Your--your--your search is over, Mr.
Finnerty.
I'm your dude.
You play the drums? Hell, yeah.
He's in the marching band.
Yeah, yeah.
Check me out.
[Imitates drums, cymbals.]
All right.
All right.
All right.
I'm sure you're good.
Yeah.
We gotta check out all the other candidates, though.
[Playing badly.]
Yaaaa-yeah! [Drums play, cymbals crash.]
[Plays drums marching style.]
Cool effect.
What effect? [Plays drums.]
Hey, man, this gig doesn't pay a lot.
Look, I'm not about the money, all right? I'm about the music.
Me, too.
Right on.
I'll take his money.
I didn't raise that boy to be a sucker.
How could you let me carry that amp all the way to the car? I didn't want it in the car.
[Telephone rings.]
Hello.
Oh, hi, Lina.
Yes, of--of course Sean's coming back.
There's nothing-- Get a deejay! She heard you, dumb ass.
I'm telling you, there's no baby pictures of me.
So? Do you realize what that means? Yeah, after 2 kids, mom and dad got bored.
No, I'm adopted.
W-wait.
Why would mom and dad adopt you? Well, because they wanted a boy.
They had a boy.
I mean, one who's not so nerdy.
OK, you wanna know the truth? Here's the truth.
You're a robot.
A robot?! Shh! You're very sophisticated.
You cost $14 million.
No way.
Yeah.
Why do you think mom gets so worried when you fall off your bike? Hey, hey, Lily, go get the amp out of my car.
Ooh! You know, she's not very happy about the band breakin' up.
Drummer didn't work out.
Well, you know what's weird? At first, this kid seemed great.
You guys think there's gonna be any record execs at this wedding, or what? You never know.
You know the greatest wedding band of all time? Pink Floyd.
That's how they started out.
Oh, God.
Come on.
There's gonna be no record executives at the kastivia- phaph wedding.
But maybe there'll be some babes, though, huh? Yeah, there'll be some babes.
There's gonna be some babes there, and I'm gonna get all the babes.
They're gonna get all of me, 'cause that's the way it is.
Guitars Sean: No, no, and the front man doesn't get the babes? Come on.
Ask Mick Jagger.
I'm sorry, dudes.
It's the drummer.
Look, drummers are gargoyles, man.
That's why you stick 'em in back.
The drummer gets in line behind the roadies.
All right, look, a couple of weeks ago, all right, me and my boys, we played this gig over at the bayside lanes.
No lie.
This chick, she comes walkin' up right in the middle of my set.
She puts her boobs on my high hat.
That I have never seen.
I have.
Well, it's nice you're able to be an influence in a young man's life.
Oh, man, we were having a great time being in a band again.
It's just Problem was, we started developing a following.
[Rock music plays.]
Sean: Hey, Lily.
Hey.
This is Dean.
Dean, my daughter Lily.
Hey.
Hey.
Where do you go? Laguardia.
Public.
I'm at St.
Finnian's.
Bummer.
[Laughs.]
Yeah.
Oof! [Feedback squeals.]
Could you pick that up, please? Uh, OK, what? So now, I'm, like, your roadie? No, it's just you knocked it down.
It'd be cool if you picked it up.
That's fine.
That's fine, OK.
I have nothing better to do than hang around here and be your stupid roadie.
Lily, we don't need a roadie.
Dad, don't be a martyr, OK? I'll be your stupid roadie.
Happy now? Dean, count us in, all right? Right.
[Clears throat.]
[Clicks.]
[Rock music plays.]
Whoo-hoo! Whoo! Put your hand here, daddy.
You can feel him drumming.
Over my dead body! Over my dead body Over my dead body Over my dead body Over my dead body How can I be a robot? I have all these memories.
But you remember being a baby? Nobody remembers being a baby.
I do.
Everybody does.
I mean, I remember sleeping in my crib.
I remember peeing in my diaper.
You know, I even remember the day they switched you on.
No way.
I'm gonna ask mom about that.
Go ahead.
She's not gonna tell you the truth.
She's just gonna say "Henry, stop being silly.
" Lina, I know.
I'm working on him.
I promise.
Mom.
Yeah, yeah, hold on.
[Whispers.]
Yeah.
Am I a robot? Henry, stop being silly.
Oh, my God.
I am a robot.
I don't get it.
If that organ grinder was after Lily, why didn't you just get rid of him? Dad, dad, it's not so simple.
You never had daughters.
See, if she would have figured out that I was trying to push them apart, it would only drive them together.
Uh-huh.
Yes.
Yes, he's here.
Hold on.
Sean, it's Lina.
No, no, no, no, no.
I think you should explain to her what the hell you're doing.
I have nothing to say to her.
Take it.
No, no, no! Take it! No! It is bad luck to talk to a bride on her wedding day.
Oh, it is only bad luck if you see her, and if you're the groom.
OK, enough has happened today.
I just don't wanna risk it.
Risk what? This isn't about fate, this is about you.
No, no, no, no, no.
No, this is about you, OK? This is about you and your genes.
My genes? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You have a thing for musicians, OK? It's in your DNA, and now you've passed this groupie gene onto our daughter.
Oh, that is so insulting.
How shallow do you think I am? Look, why did you fall for me, OK? Because I was in a band.
And lots of other reasons.
Oh, yeah? Gimme one.
You have beautiful hands.
I have naggly, white, freckly, pasty, pink Irish hands.
You're lying.
Ooh! Ugh! Yes, I'm still here! Hey, dad.
Hey, Eddie, did you bring me any cake? No.
But I brought you some shrimps.
Jumbo! What's this guy doing in my house? Oh, same as me.
He wants his money.
Oh, oh, I thought he was all about the music.
Yeah, big problem.
There wasn't any music, so I want my money.
I wasn't asking you.
Hey, wait in the kitchen.
I'll handle this.
So you're Dean? Yeah, why? Hey, watch the sass, music boy, I got disposable razors older than you.
Hey, what's that supposed to mean? and I've got razors.
What's the matter with you? You've been acting like a jerk all week.
Towel? No, thanks.
Uh, you're looking a little sweaty there.
No, it's all right.
I'm cool.
I-I'll just leave this here.
He doesn't want a towel, OK! He told youhe doesn't want a towel, so why are you trying to force a towel on a man who quite obviously is not in need of a towel? OK?! I can do it.
I'm classically trained.
Stop following me! Just ask your dad to give me another chance.
Quit bumping into me with that! Lily, take all that stuff back to the car.
Dad, can you just stop being so selfish? All right? You're ruining the most precious day of What's-her-name's life.
Yes, sweetie, see, your dad's been thinking about this a lot, and he's concerned that your DNA, which you inherited from me, is causing you to have the hot pants for Dean.
What?! I don't have the hot pants for Dean.
I don't even know what hot pants are.
I--I think it means you like him.
Ew! I--I do not like him.
Man, I can't believe you pulled all this stuff because she's got the hot pants for the kid.
No! No, no, no, no! I don't, OK? I hate him! Sorry, bud, but, uh You're not wanted here.
Right, who are you? I'm Lily's boyfriend.
Ha ha! He is not my boyfriend.
Yeah, she loves you.
No, I don't! See? Now get out here! Does somebody want to get band geek off of me? Oh, you'd like that wouldn't you? You want a piece of me? Just get the hell out of here! Run away, loser! Aah! [Drum banging and crashing.]
Brad: I-I'm OK, Lily! A-a-a-aah! Heh hoo! Baby, someday you are gonna have to finally deal with all this, OK? Girls like boys.
Mm-hmm.
Sometimes girls fall in love with boys.
Occasionally, they get married and then they need a band.
Oh, God.
Paulina does not need a band.
Dad, you should've seen the list of songs she requested.
Hey, you know what's a really great song? Sean: No.
Reunited by peaches and herb.
Oh, God, come on, are you out of your mind? It's nice.
I bet you could play it.
Oh! Oh, God.
She doesn't have a play list.
Oh, dear God! Come on, it's just a few songs.
It's her wedding.
Peaches and erb? Herb.
There are worse songs.
Oh, yeah, how about sometimes when we touch? Did you peek at this? Oh, no! Just kill me, God, now, please.
There's some rockers on there.
What, look, Y.
M.
C.
A? Well, you won't have to do that one alone, huh? Everyone'll be singing along, doing the little dance-- Baby, do we have to do this? Yes.
Ohh, no! Come on, baby.
I love you.
I honestly love you Oh, no.
Reunited? And it feels so good Reunited 'cause we understood There's one perfect thing And, sugar, this one is it We both are so excited 'cause we're Reunited, hey, hey So there are I am playing soft rock hits from the seventies and beyond, all right, and I'm watching my daughter mopping sweat off the guy who's Gonna make you the youngest grandfather since, uh Me? Yeah.
Yeah, dad, yeah, yeah, honestly, that's what I was afraid of, you know, and I thought I had no way out, and then, OK, like a gift from the gods, this kid Dean hands me the weapon of his own destruction.
I can't believe I actually have to play these songs.
I know.
It is so uncool.
No offense or anything, Lily, but your old man's a buttwad.
None taken.
I thought--I thought he wanted to rock.
He doesn't want to rock, I want to rock.
I know, I know, it's so sad.
And the other day I caught him watching vh1.
I can't stand this stuff.
How am I supposed to play the chicken dance and not throw up? Well, you know what? Maybe-- Maybe you should throw up, you know? That'll show him.
Maybe I should.
Maybe I should because I have integrity.
Hell, yeah.
Yeah.
There it was, right in front of me, Dean's Achilles heel.
[Imitating dean.]
Integrity, man! I have integrity! What the holy heck do teenagers know about integrity? Nothing, but they take it very seriously.
Reunited, hey, hey Oh, yeah, yeah, that was good, good.
Oh, just a couple things.
Um, Dean, you know that part where I'm singing lover, lover, this is solid love And you're exactly what I-- You know that part I'm talking about? At the pause, can you just spin your stick like the drummer from loverboy? That would be just awesome.
[Mutters.]
Excuse me? Nothing.
No, I thought I heard you say something.
Please, please, don't--if you have something to say, say it.
I don't want to stifle anyone's creativity or integrity.
Look, it's just, uh This song's crap.
Excuse me? It's a crappy song.
I don't see what you don't understand about that.
Wow.
Crappy song, huh? I happen to think this is a classic.
Reunited is a haunting expression of pure, hot human need and desire, and if you can't understand the aesthetic beauty of peaches and erb-- Herb.
Then you can-- I will gladly and willingly accept your resignation from this crappy band right now.
So if you'll excuse us, OK, some of us have a wedding to play.
Sorry it didn't work out.
Can we take it from the top, please? No.
Excuse me? No, he's right.
These songs blow.
Oh, wait, so you're quitting, too? I'm not quitting.
I'm saying you should be fired.
You can't fire me.
This is my band.
It's not much of a band without us.
All right, fine, then, fine.
All right, fine, I quit, OK? But I'm taking my stuff with me.
Give me my guitar.
Come and get it, [Bleep.]
.
Whoo-hoo, OK! So you made your brave stand for peaches and herb and it was a wonderful effort and you look like an idiot.
Nicely done.
Thank you.
Yeah, but look, babe, if, uh, if Lily's got this groupie gene, you're screwed.
My father couldn't stop it and neither can you.
Hey, I've got plenty of I-- Uh-uh-uh, it's way out of your pasty, freckled, Irish hands.
Reunited and it feels so good Reunited 'cause we understood There's one perfect fit And, sugar, this one is it We both are so excited 'cause we're Reunited, hey--hey! Hit it! [Tempo picks up.]
Reunited And it feels so good Reunited 'Cause we understood Reunited It's a perfect fit Reunited Sugar, this one is it Reunited We're so damn excited Reunited 'Cause we just got reunited Reunited We're a perfect fit Reunited Baby, I love your-- Reunited, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey Reunited, oy, oy, oy, oy Reunited hey, hey, hey Wow.
Didn't feel like I was going that fast.
Running around the entire block in 6 seconds? No human could do that.
I love being a robot.
Is Lily home? I don't know.
I'll use my X-ray vision.
Nope.
All right, I'll just ring the bell.
Hey, Brad, I'm gonna run around the block.
See you in 6 seconds.
What's with Henry? Just snapped.