Grounded For Life (2001) s02e11 Episode Script

Oh, what you got there, Sean, some sort of robot? Yeah, dad.
It's Jimmy's science project.
Wow.
It can go down stairs? Nope.
Hey, Jimmy's gonna be upset if you break that.
He's already upset.
He got an "F" on it.
And he was the one I had hopes for.
What? Uh, nothing.
Look, Henry, a bottle cap.
Cool.
Where? Who likes lobster? I love lobster.
Where'd you get that? Friend's got a van.
A van full of lobster? Van's full of something else.
The smell of the lobsters throws off the dogs.
Can I try that? Yeah, sure, go ahead.
This thing's caused me nothing but grief.
Yeah, I see what you mean.
Uh How's it going? No, Walt.
Oh, come on.
No.
Lobsters are delicious.
They're alive.
I don't like killing my food.
Lobsters aren't animals.
They're like big bugs.
Oh, my God.
Are you serious? Yes, of course.
OK, OK, bye.
Yes! Yes, yes, yes, yes! What, what, what? Kelli broke her leg.
Oh, my God! Is she OK? No.
The bone is sticking out.
I thought she was a friend of yours.
Yeah, she's great, but, see, Kelli's on the dance squad, and I'm the alternate, so if she can't dance, I'm in.
Do you know how unattractive you sound? I know, I'm sorry, but you know what? Her leg will heal.
Plus, she's got big boobs.
She'll be fine.
Yeah, well, I'm sure you'll make a great cheerleader.
We're not cheerleaders.
We're the dance squad.
We dance.
Where? At basketball games.
Like cheerleaders.
No.
We support the team by inspiring the crowd with dance.
Oh.
Like cheerleaders.
No! What happened to Jimmy's robot? It fought a Jeep, and the Jeep won.
I don't care.
That thing got me an "F".
Come on, Jimmy.
Come on, man, grades aren't everything.
Yeah, real easy for you to say.
You got a whole bunch of fs.
So, Jimmy got an "F".
He didn't get it all by himself.
Ah, ah, ah.
Don't start with me.
I'm not starting anything.
If you hadn't have interfered, everything would've been fine.
Oh, ho ho.
Not true.
What the hell are we talking about? Look, I'm a dad.
I like to help my kids with their homework.
They get a lot of homework.
Tell me about it.
I'm in third grade.
The homework's killing me.
[Dog barks.]
Uhhh.
A little help here.
Hello? If the UPS guy didn't come, I would still be laying there.
What does an 8-year-old need to learn that's so heavy? A lot of stuff, but most of it's pretty easy-- Multiplication, spelling-- Stuff I know, right? But with Jimmy's homework, I feel so useless.
Oh, yeah, totally.
I remember this.
This is great.
See the brackets here? See, the--some have to go from one side to the other.
They, like, um Something.
Um I remem--uh Doesn't it cancel it out? OK, the battle of Hastings.
I know this one.
It was like 10 and 6 or something year, and there were like French guys and English guys and German guys, and they were, like, just beating the hell out of each other, like, with anything they could find.
It was muddy.
Mitosis.
Meiosis.
Mitosis.
Meiosis.
God, there was this one guy, and he was a bad ass, and I can't remember-- I wrote a paper.
No, wait, that was another guy.
Meiosis.
Mitosis.
Meiosis? Osmosis.
Osmosis.
Osmosis.
I thought kids today do all their work on the e-mail.
What? The e-mail? What are you talking about, the e-mail? You know what I'm talking about.
The The e-mail.
It's just like mail.
It's electronic mail.
Hello.
You know, if I say something wrong, you could just correct me nicely.
I'm going to go cook dinner now on the e-mail.
So what happened to the damn robot? So last week, Jimmy gets an assignment from his science teacher, and it was something I felt like I could help him with.
Uh, what's this robot supposed to do? It's got to climb up a ramp and grab a little flag.
Ah, ramp-climbing flag grabber.
Yeah.
OK, so where are we gonna put the servo? Sean Yeah, baby? Hi.
Hi.
No, I mean [Sexy.]
Hi.
Hi.
Do you have a toggle switch? I don't know.
Aren't you tired? Nope.
I'm very, very, very, very tired.
Great.
You should probably go to bed.
Here's the toggle switch.
You must really like robots.
Claudia: He likes robots more than he likes his own wife! Can't I like 'em both, woman?! All right, what are we doing? I am stretching to prepare for dance squad, and you are annoying me.
I thought you got cut from cheerleader.
OK, it's not cheerleader.
It's dance squad.
And I didn't get cut.
She made me an alternate because of one tiny, little mistake.
Britney Spears: I'm sent from above I'm not that innocent Oh, that's it.
With spirit, Lily.
I played with your heart, got lost in the game Oh, baby Oops, you think I'm love, that I'm sent from above Jeez, did you fall on your head or on your butt? Yeah, sure, laugh.
The only one who gave me any sympathy was uncle Eddie.
Aren't you gonna ask me what's wrong? I wasn't planning to.
What's wrong? I am an alternate! An alternate! All right, Lily! It's not all right.
Alternates suck.
You didn't make cheerleader.
It's dance squad.
Miss Spinoza is so unfair.
Carol Spinoza? She really happy all the time, kind of desperate? Yeah, that's her.
So what? So I fell off the stage.
They don't even dance on a stage.
They dance on a basketball court.
You can't fall off a basketball court.
Don't give up so quickly.
Why not? Because you never know what's gonna happen.
Like he knew what was gonna happen.
Yeah, right, like he knew Kelli was gonna break her leg.
Well, uncle Eddie does know a lot of weird stuff.
Yeah, but he couldn't have known that this was-- Yeah, right.
Like he broke ke-- Oh, man.
If you helped Jimmy make the robot, then why did he get an "F"? 'Cause of Claudia.
Hey, no way.
I might have been wrong, but you were wronger.
Whoa, there's no such word as "wronger.
" Oh, yes, there is.
It's reserved for special occasions where someone is incredibly wrong.
OK, I might've gotten a little carried away, but me and jimbo were having a great time.
First, we just got to solder this to the frame.
What are you doing? I'm sticking the wheels together.
You don't stick the wheels together.
You have to install the axle first.
You're doing all the work.
OK, hold on.
You can do something.
You can--I got it.
You can give the robot a name.
OK.
Firebot.
Firebot.
All right, Firebot.
Cool.
You sure that's not a little corny? Dad.
OK, OK, OK, Firebot it is For the time being.
Sean, you're gonna be late for work.
Taking a sick day.
[Power tool runs.]
What? Hey, robots are complicated.
Takes a lot of work.
You were totally obsessed.
No, I wasn't.
Yeah, you were.
Hey, dad, I think there's something wrong with the-- Dad? It works.
It works! It really works.
I'm a genius.
So I may have blown a fuse or two.
I got butter and bibs.
All right.
Come on, Henry.
Grab that stuff.
This is gonna be fun.
What's that? That's the robot you drove out into the street.
It wasn't built very well, was it? What are you doing? The water's boiling, so it's time to throw the lobsters in the pot.
Tom and Tyrone? Henry, come on.
You eat pork chops, right? Those come from little piggies.
Mom! Mommy! Don't they teach these kids anything? Henry.
Ahem.
Hey, uncle Eddie.
Do you remember how I was complaining about not making the dance squad? Uh-huh.
Guess what.
I made it.
Good.
Does that surprise you? As a matter of fact, it doesn't.
It doesn't.
No.
I had a feeling things were gonna work out for you.
You did? Why? I don't know.
Call it a strong hunch.
Oh, God.
Admit it, you went totally overboard.
If you wouldn't have stuck your nose in it, I would've gotten an "a".
You? We.
We? OK, Jimmy.
You know what I mean.
You screwed it all up.
Is that Jimmy's robot? Yeah.
Check this out.
Oh.
I'm gonna get some new shock absorbers tomorrow, gonna get a searchlight on it, then I have to get a bigger power supply, or else the whole thing might overheat.
That's unbelievable.
Thank you.
No, I mean it's not believable.
A 12-year-old never could've made this.
They'll nail you.
Oh, God, do you think it's too good? Absolutely.
When I help Henry with his homework, I always make sure I get a couple things wrong.
You gotta make it a little off.
Really? Hah hah hah.
Remember this? "I like sharks.
Sharks have fins.
Some sharks are blue.
I like sharks.
" You wrote "I like sharks"? Henry had writer's block.
Then why'd you put it on the fridge? It got a gold star.
You must be very proud.
All I'm saying is that you have to make it look like there's a chance in hell Jimmy could've built this robot.
That sparky thing has to go.
Oh, baby, come on.
That's what makes it so cool.
OK, OK, the spark thing can go.
And isn't chrome a little-- Oh, God, now the chrome's too much.
Why can't I have any fun? It had chrome on it? Oh, yeah, and it had these really cool blinking diodes and everything, but Claudia made me dumb it down.
Oh, for--stop it.
Yeah, you did, baby.
Hey, baby, what are you doing? I'm covering the welding points with digimon stickers.
Why? You arc welded it, Sean.
OK, that's enough.
All right.
Let's go show 'em what Firebot can do, huh? Let's kick some bot.
Aha, that's clever.
All right.
Firebot Baby Rip off the damn digimon stickers.
Claudia: Hey, lil.
Hey, mom.
Mom, do you think uncle Eddie is capable of doing something really bad? Absolutely.
Coaster.
No, no, no.
I mean, like seriously.
Do you think he is? Yes.
Would you like me to make you a list? I mean something totally illegal? Are you wearing a wire? No.
It's just I think uncle Eddie may have broken Kelli's leg.
Come on.
He coulda done anything.
Hello, Kelli.
Oh, no! Not my leg! [Eerie music playing.]
Aah! I'm a dancer! [Crunch.]
Kelli: Ow! My leg! My right leg! Come on.
You're being ridiculous.
Then why is he acting so weird? He's Eddie.
He always acts weird.
I'm telling you, he had something to do with this.
Do you want me to ask him? Would you? No! No, don't! I don't want to know! I'm so happy.
Boy, these lobsters are smelling delicious.
Hey, there's no lobsters in here.
There's just an orange and a nutcracker.
Don't look at me.
Henry? Henry, what have you done with my lobsters? Ed, Ed, don't try fixin' this thing.
I'm not.
I'm just trying to salvage the battery for my taser.
Oh.
You know, take whatever you want, man.
This thing's caused me nothing but grief.
Yeah, it must be a bummer getting beat out by a bunch of kids.
Hey, trust me.
Those kids had nothing to do with those robots.
Alexander takes these things so seriously.
I mean, it worries me, what a perfectionist she is.
Everything's gotta be just right.
Aron: The prototype was a little sluggish, so Philip had the idea to adjust the gear ratio to get a lot more low-end torque.
Isn't that right, Philip? I just wish I could get Tyler to stop working.
I mean, he just loves challenging his mind, which I guess you can see from his robot.
Ha ha Jimmy built a robot, too.
I hear he's very good at kickball.
Next 2 robots, could you have your humans line you up at the starting line? Ha-ha-ha! We're doomed.
Come on, dad.
We still have a chance.
Jimmy, grow up.
Mr.
Kersey: Robots ready! Green light to go! Come on, Jimmy! Good, good, good! Oh, God! We're toast! It's not about speed, it's about precision.
Look! [Overlapping comments.]
Yay! Come on! They're picking him apart.
Oh, God! Someone stop this! That's a violation! So, thanks to Claudia, we had a wimp robot.
We had An age-appropriate robot.
It was getting picked on by all the other robots.
Thank God it didn't have any lunch money.
There was no reason we couldn't have walked out of that gym with a solid "b", "b-," maybe, but Sean couldn't keep his mouth shut.
And, for his solar-powered, water-immersible aquabot, a blue ribbon is received by Jeffrey hodes.
Super good job, Jeffrey.
Whoa! Super boy! Super good job.
Isn't he super good? Ah, Jimmy Finnerty.
Well, what a substantial robot.
You could-- You could really prop a door wide open with this.
OK, OK! Enough! No, baby.
This is a mockery! You don't really believe that these kids made these things, do you? to build circuit boards.
They don't have access to titanium.
Or they can't make submersible robots.
Philip, Philip, please explain to me how you built a retractable hydraulic arm on your robot.
Huh? Uh-uh-uh-uh! Don't look for your dad.
Why don't you ease up, Finnerty? Look, come on.
Who are we kiddin'? Take a look around.
All right, I know we all want what's best for our kids, but at what cost? We get so wrapped up in this competition, OK, that we rob them of an education.
And we're all guilty! Each and every one of us.
And I, for one, am willing to stand up and admit it.
My name's Sean Finnerty, and I built my son's robot.
There.
Who's next? That's how Jimmy got an "F".
Hey, hey! I built an "a" robot, all right? But you wouldn't let us go for it, no.
You had to hold Jimmy back.
Oh, come on.
Jimmy would've been fine if you hadn't gotten up on your stupid soapbox.
You know what I think? What? I think you're both lousy cheaters, and I can only hope that social services will come in here and take those kids away so that maybe they'll have a chance in life.
But which one of us was wronger? Oh, jeez.
You know what? Maybe we should go talk to Jimmy.
Yeah.
You were wronger.
Excuse me? Nothing.
Sorry, guys.
All we got's people food.
You didn't see anything.
Hey, I'm no snitch.
Uncle Eddie, can I ask you a question? Sure.
You didn't have anything to do with me making the dance squad, did you? Lily, as far as you know, I had nothing to do with you making the dance squad.
OK, what does that mean? I may have had a little something to do with it.
Oh, God.
What are you so upset about? I'm the one who had to make a huge personal sacrifice.
Oh, I never thought you liked me in high school.
I was shy.
You were very colorful.
Yeah, I was.
So? How about my niece? You know, this would mean a lot to her, this thing, you know? Oh, yes! I remember when I was her age.
The call of dance can be very overwhelming.
Um, I had shoes on when I came in here.
You still do.
Oh, but know how it was in high school.
I was never happy with what was.
I was always imagining what could be.
And then, you know, I'd never be happy until I choreographed my own stuff.
And once I did It was just magical.
Don't say anything.
The look on your face is thanks enough.
Oh, my God.
Uncle Eddie, I thought you broke Kelli's leg.
I would never hurt anyone.
I'm like Gandhi.
But you did sleep with Miss Spinoza and then take off? All right, I'm not exactly like Gandhi.
[Thumping.]
All right.
Who put sneakers in with my towels? Oh, my God! Boy! Something smells delicious! Yeah.
Wow! Oh, man.
Well, my towels are ruined.
These lobsters are perfect.
Hey, nobody used the dryer, did they? No.
Come here, Henry.
We need to talk.
Save me a claw.