Grounded For Life (2001) s04e18 Episode Script

So we drive up to the Poconos Wednesday night and have the kids home in good time on Sunday.
And how many bedrooms does this cabin of yours have? Two, but Brad can sleep on the pullout.
I know he can, but will he? Yes, he will.
Dad, please, I never get to go skiing.
[sighs.]
Okay, Lily, you can go.
Yes! This is gonna be great.
This is gonna be awesome! Not too awesome.
Thank you so much for inviting her.
Our pleasure.
It's great to have Brad hanging around with someone who doesn't speak Klingon.
[speaking Klingon.]
Watch your mouth.
Sorry, Mom.
[doorbell rings.]
I got it.
Hey, is Jimmy here? You're here for Jimmy? Yeah.
You know you're a girl, right? Hey.
Let's go.
Hey, Jimmy, aren't you gonna introduce us? Nah, I hadn't planned on it.
Jimmy, eh, who's your friend? I don't know.
Bye.
This is so great.
We're going skiing.
Yes, now get your parents the hell out of here.
They're having such a good time.
I know, but I don't want to risk it.
A fight could break out at any moment.
Go, go! I need to use the bathroom.
Well, go.
Uh, our bathroom.
You know what? We should get moving along anyway.
Dan's got his tennis lesson.
Oh, you know, and I've got a ton of studying to do, but this was so fun.
We should do this again.
Absolutely.
Dan, I didn't know you play tennis.
Nah, I dabble.
Oh, he's being modest.
He's been taking lessons for two years.
Whoa, hey, I dabble myself.
We should play sometime.
[chuckles.]
I don't think so.
Come on.
A friendly game.
Dan's a little out of your league.
Oh, hey, I might-- I might not be in the league you think I am.
I might be in a higher league.
Dad, he doesn't want to play you.
Don't start this.
Dan is ranked.
He has a ranking.
Oh! Oh, I understand.
He wouldn't want to lose his ranking by getting his butt whupped by a lowly amateur.
Wha--! Are you just gonna let him get away with that? Yeah.
[Lily.]
Good for you.
[Sean.]
Yeah, good for you, Danielle.
Oh, come-- Come on.
He is asking for it.
Play him.
No, I will not be goaded into this.
Dan O'Keefe is a bigger man.
You're right, and I'm sorry.
Connie, Debbie God! Dan, be a man! Play him! All right! Fine.
You're on.
Good.
Dad, promise me you're not gonna be a sore loser.
Absolutely, 'cause I have no intention of losing.
Oh, hey, Eddie.
What are you doing here? Ah, a little laundry.
You pile my wet clothes on top of the dryer? Well, you're the one who told me not to touch your stuff, you know? After the incident.
Yes, I remember the incident.
I was just folding them.
Just drop it.
Where's Sean? He's playing tennis with Dan O'Keefe.
Is O'Keefe any good? He's been taking lessons for years.
Uh-oh.
No, it's gonna be fine.
Sean promised he would not be a sore loser.
That's what he said to me the last time I played him.
Out! What? How can you call that out? Easy.
It was outside the line that means in.
You cannot be serious! It was in.
I don't want you just to say it was in.
I want you to believe it.
Oh, I believe it was in.
Like hell you do.
You know what? I concede, but it was a really good game, man.
Really good game.
So he's a little competitive.
A little competitive? He came after me in the shower.
[dryer buzzes.]
All right, so he's very competitive.
But Lily and Brad went along to make sure everything stays friendly.
I had to fight him off with my flip-flop.
I get it.
Damn it! What are you looking for, Jim? Nothing.
Did you lose something? God, Mom! What's with all the questions? Just back off! It's a fun age.
I think he's looking for his banky.
His what? His blanket.
He's had it since he was a baby.
It was cuteonce.
[toy rattling.]
Aw [rock music playing.]
Eww.
He's hanging out with girls.
He's listening to depressing music.
He's way too old for a blanket.
So I stashed it away.
It was time.
Yeah, well, maybe you should take a psychology class before you go yanking away somebody's emotional anchor.
All right? He's gonna tell you when it's time.
You're not gonna tell him when it's time.
What do you know? You're not a parent.
Yeah, but I was a child.
You know? My father did the same thing to me when I was nine with my teddy bear, Mr.
Brown.
Seriously? He made me watch while he burned it.
Okay, that was sadistic.
That is nothing like what I did.
All right, well, you can explain the difference to Jimmy when he's paying women to spank him.
Come on, he's gonna be over this in like a week.
Jimmy? Mom, would you just leave me alone, okay? I cannot live my life under a microscope.
Maybe two weeks.
Uh-oh, how bad was it? It was ugly.
How's your dad taking it? Pretty well.
Yeah? Okay.
All hail Sean Finnerty, master of the tennis universe.
You won? Hoo, hoo, hoo, "won" is such an underwhelming term for what I accomplished on the court today.
"Ass-kicking" would be closer, but still wouldn't capture the sense of total annihilation.
[car door closes.]
Okay, Finnerty, give it a rest.
Hey, honey.
I hope you went easy on him.
Ah, yeah, I did.
Oh, don't worry.
He, uh, he went very easy on me.
All right, guys.
Just a friendly game.
Absolutely.
Game.
All right, Dad.
Big serve now.
Comeback time.
That's it.
That's it.
Augh! Aah! God Almighty! Whoo! Suck.
Ow.
Got it! Okay, five minutes.
Mine! Aah! Whoo! Game.
[coughing.]
Your serve, O'Keefe.
I'm gonna sit this one out.
Me too.
Unbelievable.
I was just having an off day.
An off day? You didn't win a single game after five trips to tennis camp? Well, what can I say? Sean was a better player.
Today the bench beside the court was a better player than him.
And you have those tennis lessons every weekend.
I don't know what he's doing every weekend, but it sure as hell isn't tennis lessons.
Why don't you shut your mouth? Honey, it's dinnertime.
We got to go inside.
Baby, he couldn't even keep score.
Sean, shut your mouth.
What? Oh, my God.
Have you taken any tennis lessons at all? Sure.
You saw me leave with the racket.
Oh, that's right.
The racket.
You've been having an affair! Connie, that's ridiculous.
Ridiculous? Then explain to me how it is that you can't play.
In fairness to him, I was having the game of my life.
Oh, and the overnight trips to Jersey when you didn't want me to come! He was putting a lot of mustard on his second serve, and it was really-- Shut up! I was gonna end it.
I'm gonna end it.
I want you out of my house! [door opens, slams.]
Hey, hey.
Hey.
How was the game? Thanks for ruining my life.
[whispers.]
I won! What is wrong with you? You still awake? Yeah.
Baby, I can't stop thinking about Dan and Connie.
Well, I'm not surprised after what you did.
What I did? What? I didn't do anything.
Are you kidding me? You don't think it's your fault the way everything blew up like that? Hell, no! I didn't tell Dan O'Keefe to go have an affair.
Besides, he was bound to get caught.
He couldn't have been more stupid about the whole thing.
So, what? You know the right way to have an affair? Well, I wouldn't stage fake tennis lessons.
You might as well put a Post-it on the fridge, "Out to nail the UPS lady, back in 15 minutes.
" The UPS lady? Something I pulled out of the air.
That UPS lady with the long, brown ponytail? That was a for instance.
Do you have a thing for her? Who? Annette? Her name is Annette? It says so on her name tag.
Baby, I have nothing to do with what's going on with Dan or Connie, okay? Can we just please get some sleep? We're gonna start using express mail.
Please.
My parents had such a good marriage.
How could this have happened? Well, they did yell at each other a lot.
I mean, I could hear them like every night.
Except Saturdays.
Guess that's when your dad had his tennis lessons.
Sorry.
Man, I don't know what's gonna happen to me.
I mean, my mom's gonna probably want to move back to Bayonne.
Bayonne? You can't move to Bayonne.
What would we do? I don't know.
But you can move in with your dad maybe, right? Well, yeah, maybe.
I mean, if some judge declares my mom incompetent.
Yes, yes! You have a terrible mom.
Sorry.
Why don't you talk? [rattling.]
Baby, did you hear that? What? It's coming from Lily's room.
Ohh Oh, Brad's still in there.
Baby, this is unacceptable.
Honey, relax.
I can't relax.
We got to draw the line somewhere.
Does it have to be tonight? It's 2:00 in the morning.
If that's not where the line is, I don't know where it is.
Okay, you know what? Tonight is not a good night for the line.
Could we just give Brad a break? He's heartbroken.
What, he can't be heartbroken and horny? Well, considering you could be comatose and horny, I guess it's possible.
Damn straight.
[sighs.]
Jimmy, why don't you just go to bed? I can't.
I need to find something, okay? Hey what's this? Maybe it's a clue.
Henry, give me back my banky.
What makes you think I have it? "If you want to see banky alive again, you must meet our demands.
" Why do you think I'd know anything about this? You have the letters G and K glued to your hand.
That's a coincidence.
This ransom note is signed "Henry.
" Damn, you're good.
So give me back my banky now! Aah! Give it to me.
Where is it? Give it to me.
Give it to me! [Henry screaming.]
What the hell is that? [screaming, pounding.]
Is that Brad? There's the line.
That's the line right there! Sheez! All right, that's enough! Stop! Oh, Brad, get off me now.
What, so no one's giving anything to anyone? No! [screaming, pounding.]
Jimmy.
I'll get that.
You draw your line.
[sighs.]
Okay, Brad, know you've had a rough day and all, but, uh, it's getting pretty late.
I think it's time for you to go home.
Please, Dad, just let him stay.
You know, this isn't the kind of house where the boyfriend spends the night in the daughter's room, okay? But you can stay as long as you stay downstairs.
All right.
All right? Now.
As in now! Brad, downstairs.
Now? Now! [screaming.]
Where is it? Hey, hey, stop it! Stop it! What happened in here? Why aren't you guys sleeping? I can't sleep.
I'm freaking out because he took my banky! Oh, God.
Give it back! I don't have it! Stop it, stop it, stop it.
Henry didn't take your banky, okay? I took banky.
What? Why would you do that? Because you're a teenager, and I thought you didn't need it anymore.
I'm sorry.
Well, I don't need it.
But just out of curiosity, where is it? I'm gonna go get it, okay? Um, you know, it might not be where you think it is.
Where is it? Aah! Stop.
Stop! Henry, where is banky? It's behind the dryer.
Thank you.
[ringing.]
It's 2:00 in the morning.
If I wanted the time, I'd look at a clock.
Now, you got to get down here, Sean.
Why? Because I have a major problem here, and I hold you responsible.
She was the best thing that ever happened to me, and I threw her away.
Your wife or your lover? My wife! I'm talking about Connie.
My life.
My love.
My lady.
What's that song? You know.
I don't know.
Yeah, you do.
Lady, la-la-la-la, lady.
Kenny Rogers.
Lady.
No! Look at you two so happy.
You're not cheating on her, are you? Are you cheating on her? This is our first date.
And already you're cheating on her! Lady in Red? No! It has the word lady.
Three Times a Lady.
No! It has the wordlady.
* Lady * Lady Madonna.
Foxy Lady.
There it is.
Pretty Woman.
How in the hell is that my responsibility? It's your fault his wife kicked him out! What? I--He was the one who had the affair.
I just played him in tennis.
Yeah, but then after the tennis, you started talking-- All right.
All right.
Look, just close up and bring him over here.
Connie? Baby, I am hurting so much.
I'm not Connie.
Then I take it back.
She's the only one I love.
Why did I play tennis with that awful jerk? Oh, my God! Oh, my God! It's not here.
It's not here! What's going on, baby? It's not here! What? Jimmy can't sleep.
He's gonna hate his mommy forever.
Come on, banky.
Where are you, banky? Come on, banky! What if neither of my parents want me? I could end up bouncing from foster home to foster home.
Brad, you're almost 17.
I know.
No parents want the older kids.
They want the--the babies.
Stupid babies! Brad, it's gonna be okay.
Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Who said anything about unfolding the couch? You said I could stay downstairs.
I didn't tell you to unfold this thing.
This is not the type of house where the daughter's with the boyfriend on the unfolded couch bed.
Okay.
Dad, I was trying to comfort him.
Yeah, you go to bed.
I'll comfort Brad.
You-- You know, I'm pretty well-comforted.
Good night, Brad.
All right, Brad, come on.
Get some sleep.
It's gonna be all right.
Yeah, sure.
No, I'm serious.
Look, you know? There things have a way of working themselves out, and whatever happens, just remember you're not at fault in all this, okay? I know.
It was your fault.
Whoa! Hey, whoa.
How is it my fault? You were the one who said-- Oh, oh, oh, I wasn't the one who said he was good at tennis when he wasn't and all that implies.
All right.
Sorry.
All right, look.
Whatever happens, just know we're here for you, okay? But I think it's gonna be all right.
These things work themselves out, and I got a good feeling about this.
Okay? I'm sorry about the upholstery.
It's okay.
You want to hit me? I don't want to touch you.
Dad? Bradley.
Dad, how could you-- how could you do what-- Brad, it's not time for blame.
That's easy for you to say.
It's your fault.
That's what I said.
Whoa, come on.
We have been through this.
This is not my fault, all right? But I, however, will be the bigger man, and, O'Keefe, I'm gonna try and help you get your life together, okay? So let's go outside and strategize.
Do you have a mint? You're fine.
Don't worry about it.
I meant for you.
Ah.
Is this what you're looking for? Oh, banky! You found it! It was down at the bar with a bunch of bar rags.
Jimmy! I can't believe you found banky.
You know, when it's just me, you can call it a blanket.
Look what I have for you.
Oh, thank you, Mom.
What--Ooh, it's wet.
It's slimy.
It smells like beer.
Banky had a rough night.
Honey, listen.
I meant well, really.
I thought you were ready.
I'm sorry.
Please don't hate me.
No.
No, I don't hate you.
You know, I just-- I wish you would Is there puke on this? Maybe a smidge.
You know what? I think I am ready.
So long, banky.
Now, you see that now? He told you when it was time.
I ju-- I can't believe my baby's too big for his banky.
Oh, what are you gonna do now? Put it in a scrapbook or something? Leave me alone.
Oh, God, what was I thinking? I've lost my little Connie bear.
Look, it might-- It might not be too late.
No, it is! I've lost her.
And it's nobody's fault but mine.
Yes! Exactly! That's what I've been saying.
Thank you.
You're welcome.
Okay, now that you've admitted you made a mistake, that's great.
Now you just got to go tell Connie.
How do I explain? I was running around on her and with someone so young! Just--just tell her your true feelings, you know? Put the mistakes behind you.
How young we talking about? Ooh.
Yeah.
But she has nothing on Connie.
And if she takes me back, I'll never do it again.
Okay, why? Why are you telling me this? Go tell her exactly what you just told me.
I mean, not about the 24-year-old, but just go tell her, the woman you love.
You think it'll work? What have you got to lose? Okay.
No! Lily, hey, hey! Sorry.
I was saying good night.
Yeah, good night.
I'll see you later, Brad.
In the morning.
You know, I think I'm gonna crash down here with Brad tonight.
All right? Scooch over, pal.
Good night! [clears throat.]
How are you hanging in there, Brad? Had better days.
Yeah, you know.
You know, your dad, he's real sorry about what he did, you know.
He's trying to get your mom to understand right now.
They're talking.
I hope you're right.
Hey, Lily, you guys got to keep it down.
Otherwise your father's gonna come down here, you know? Closed-Captioned By J.
R.
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