Grounded For Life (2001) s04e28 Episode Script

421 - Space Camp Oddity

Yes! Freedom! No more school! This is the day I've been waiting for! Yeah! Henry, where's that laptop we got you for school? Hey, Jim.
You got a yearbook.
Yeah.
It's pretty lame.
Welllemme check it out.
What's with the box? Oh.
Last day of school.
We had to clear out our lockers.
Ah, jeez, Brad.
You have enough pictures of Lily in your locker? Huh, pal? [laughs.]
Actually, these are from Lily's locker.
Hey.
Look at you guys.
You're officially seniors now.
[Hope.]
Aw.
Summer before senior year is the last time before you guys I meanstay together.
Forever.
Which I pretty much guarantee will happen.
Damn straight! Come on, Brad.
Uh, Jim, look.
Lotta kids in here encouraging you to "rock on".
Oh, right.
I'll get-- right on that.
No, look at this.
Look at this, Jim.
"Jim.
You're so funny.
Call me.
" What? It's right below the picture of the girl's chorus.
Oh.
Gimme that.
Ooh! Smiley-face.
Ooh! Looks like it's gonna be the "Summer of Love" for somebody! Come on! No.
No, you guys.
This is serious.
There's a girl out there who thinks I'm funny, and I don't know who it is.
I-- I gotta find her.
Happy stalking! Oh! All right.
I'd better get goin'.
I'll see ya later, Hope.
Bye! [door closes.]
You and Hope seem to be gettin' along pretty good.
Yes.
I like her, okay? I know exactly what's gonna happen.
I'm gonna spend all this time with her, become great friends with her, and then you're gonna screw everything up and dump her, and I'll never see her again.
No.
That's not gonna happen.
Lisa.
Jen.
Rachel.
Fay All right.
I really want this thing with Hope to work out.
Come on, baby.
Give him the benefit of the doubt.
Look at this guy.
Oh, he's pitiful.
Hey, baby? Oh-- It's gonna be awesome, Brad.
Ashley lives like two blocks from the beach, and her parents are never there.
Just her grandpa, but he's totally out of it.
He spends all his time on the roof, scanning the horizon for U-boats.
I-- I guess it'll be fun.
No, trust me! All my friends are gonna be there.
We're walking distance from amazing shopping.
You'll love it.
No, I'm-- I'm sure you're right.
It's-- it's just new for me.
I-- You know, I'm used to spending my summers at Space Camp.
[chuckles.]
Brad, you don't need to go to Space Camp now.
You have a girlfriend.
Right here on Earth.
I had a girlfriend at Space Camp.
Remember? I told you about her.
Right! Right.
I forgot.
What-- what was her name again? Lana.
Lana.
That's right.
Lana, the space girl.
[laughs.]
But, hey.
That's all in the past now.
Oh, good [Sean.]
Hey Ashley's mom's gonna be out there with you guys on the shore, right? Yeah yeah yeah! And her grandfather.
Who watches us like a hawk.
Don't you usually go to some sort of starship academy? Space Camp.
I'm not goin' this year.
Nope.
Brad doesn't need to go.
He has a girlfriend now.
I mean, a local girlfriend.
Who-- who people have actually seen.
Actually, Lana's gonna be in New York this weekend.
She's, uh, catching the bus to Space Camp.
Really! Well, I'll finally get a chance to meet her then, huh? Oh, ac-- yeah, she's-- she's visiting her grandma, so I don't know if she'll have any time, but-- you know, I'll try and arrange something.
I promise not to be too disappointed if somehow it doesn't work out.
[chuckles.]
All right.
[smooch.]
See you later.
'Kay.
Uh What was that all about? The boys at school used to tease him a lot, so he developed this, um-- defense mechanism.
And here's the picture of Dean and me at Action Mountain.
We had such a good summer.
Yeah, me, too.
I thought you went to Space Camp, O'Keefe.
Yeah, well, they oughtta call it "Girl Camp".
You know what I'm sayin'? Because you're a girl.
Uhno.
'Cause I hooked up with a girl.
Oh.
You got any pictures of her? No.
Well, I-- I had a disposable camera, and it fell in the pool.
No, I'm serious! Her name is Lana.
Okay.
How far did you get? Mars.
What? Oh.
I'm sorry.
That's 2nd base, to you terrestrials.
So.
Over Christmas, I'm goin' skiing with Wendy.
Oh, man! That's gonna be sweet! God, I wish I could go skiin' with Lana.
Why can't you? She lives outta town.
And she doesn't really like skiing.
We get it.
Ouch That's a classic.
But not as good as yours, Sean.
Where did she live? Oregon? Yeah.
Yeah.
Felicia lived in Portland, where she modeled.
That's pathetic, Dad.
Oh, come on.
As pathetic as Uncle Eddie? Do you remember when he was hookin' up with Joan Jett? Yeah, but if Hope asks it never happened.
[laughs.]
Because it didn't happen! 'Preciate that.
I'm bored.
Oh, God.
Come on, Henry.
It's the first day of summer vacation.
Can I eat the stuff you're scrapin' off the grill? No! Can I take a bath with candles? Uh, no! Boys don't do that! But I'm bored! Okay.
Fine.
Have a bath with candles.
All right! Summertime! Hey.
Well, hey, babe.
Did you have a good time with Hope? Uh-- yeah.
Yeah.
[stammering.]
It was fine.
Uh-oh.
What? Well, it-- [sighs.]
Hope made me promise not to tell anybody.
And you won't be breaking that promise! When someone tells someone something, they know that they're gonna tell their spouse.
Really? You think? Yeah, of course.
It's gonna be incredibly awkward [laughs.]
if she comes over, and then she mentions it, whatever it is, and I don't know.
And then she's gonna think, "Do they not communicate?" Hmm? You're-- You know? Yeah.
You're right.
Right.
Right.
Well, after lunch, we decided we'd give ourselves a little treat.
[yelp.]
Ahh.
So things are good with Eddie? Huh? Yeah.
Yeah.
Pretty-- pretty good.
Uh-oh.
What's wrong? [ripping tape.]
Damn! Well, do-- do you promise you won't-- [ripping tape.]
Yow! say anything? Of course.
I'm your friend.
You can tell me.
Well-- I gave Eddie a key to my apartment, and he was just like-- [ripping tape.]
Ow! "Thanks.
" And-- and he didn't give me a key to his place.
Oh.
Really? [ripping tape.]
Damn it! I mean maybe-- I'm being stupid, but-- I don't know-- [tape ripping.]
Mother of God! if he's not as committed to this thing as I am, or if he's just emotionally constipated.
[tape ripping.]
Ow! Pleasedon't tell anybody.
Oh, who am I gonna tell? I know! And I was really starting to like her.
I just loaned her my Kelis CD.
Oh, God.
You didn't buy that, did you? I like the Milk Shake Song, all right? Leave me alone.
Then the 3rd piece of string says, "No, no! I'm a frayed knot!" Get it? 'Cause he's like a frayed knot? You know? Like f-r-a-y? You know what I mean? Yeah-- you didn't sign my yearbook, did you? No.
That's-- that's fine.
I wasn't planning on calling you again.
[hang-up beep.]
Jimmy, you're not callin' every girl in that picture, are you? Yeah.
Uh-- even the kind of buffed-out one, with the crew cut, right there? I'm gonna call her last.
Hey, Lil.
Hmm.
Hey, Brad.
Where ya been? Well, I was tryin' to get Lana to come over.
But it turns out her grandma's really sick.
[sighs.]
Brad, sweetie.
[clears throat.]
You don't have to keep doing this.
I know there's no Lana.
[laughs.]
You think I made Luna up? [chuckle.]
Okay, Brad.
You just forgot her name.
No no no! Luna is her nickname, okay? Her Space Camp nickname! Lana? Luna? Like the moon? Ah! I see! Her "other" name! Okay, fine! You know what? Don't believe me! Whatever.
Oh, Brad! I'm sorry! Wait.
Come on.
[laughing.]
See, that's why I picked Joan Jett.
It's easy to remember.
Hey, um, Laura? Hi.
It's Jimmy Finnerty.
So I'm guessin' you're in the shower, right? No, you know, 'cause the phone always rings when you're in the shower? Am I right? You know? No! I wasn't picturing you in the shower.
I was-- wait! Wait.
Before you hang up, you don't happen to have Stacy Cavanaugh's phone number, do you? Hello? Damn.
Hey, Sean.
Hey.
Hey, Hope said she had a really good time with Claudia.
That's real good.
Is she here? No.
She's parking her car.
Uh, why? Uhnothin'.
Nothin'.
Sean.
What is it? All right, look.
Claudia made me promise that I wouldn't tell ya.
But I'm your brother.
She's gotta know you're gonna tell me.
Okay.
This is the deal, all right? Apparently Hope is pretty pissed-off at you because, I guess, she gave you a key to her place, or something? And you didn't give her a key to your place? And she said-- she said that you were emotionally constipated.
Well-- God, there's no way that's a compliment, right? I don't think so.
AhI gotta do something.
All right, don't be stupid about it, all right? Be smart.
Don't make it look like it came from me.
You got it? Yeah.
No.
I'm gonna be cool! [Claudia.]
Cool? Cool about what? Uh, just, you know.
Cool in general.
Hey, guys! Claudia, that CD is terrific.
Isn't it so good? And it's not just the Milk Shake song.
The whole thing is good.
Yeah? [Claudia.]
Yeah.
Hey, Hope.
Here's the key to my apartment.
Claudia! Sean? Eddie What, man? That was cool.
I-- I'm not emotionally constipated.
Claudia! Sean! [roars.]
You-- you weren't supposed to know.
I-- I wanted this to come from you.
It's coming from me.
Come on, Brad! I said I was sorry.
Fine! I'll be next door.
Um, hey.
Do you know where 854 is? It's right there! Okay.
[giggles.]
Ummyour name's not, by any chance, Luna, is it? [laughs.]
No.
[chuckles.]
No.
Ah.
Good.
[laughs.]
No no no.
It's Lana.
Luna's my Space Camp name.
Wow! Umm-- I've heard a lot about you! Luna! Bravity! [robotic wooping.]
Hey! Hi! Oh, God.
It's great to see you! You, too! Hey, my grandmother is doing so much better.
Great.
Hey, this is my girlfriend, Lily! [Lana.]
Oh my God.
Okay.
Nobody at Space Camp thought you existed.
Of course I exist! [nervous laugh.]
Hey, hey! I got a live feed from, uh, the camp telescope! You wanna come check it out? The KEK? That is my favorite telescope! Mine, too! Beep beep.
Keh.
Ooh You're not doing it right.
Come on.
Well, sleepyhead.
Hope's not returning my calls.
Hope you're happy.
Hey! Hey, I had to tell Eddie what Hope said.
He's my brother.
I am your wife.
And I explicitly told you not to tell.
Oh, God, come on.
Would you, uh-- You drove around for like a week with the parking brake on.
So what? So that's bad, too.
That doesn't even come close-- Mom, has anybody called? No.
Not even Brad? I assumed Brad was included in "anyone".
Brad is not just anyone, Mom.
He's very special to me, and I am special to him! We share a very high degree of specialness with one another! Great.
Okay.
You're very special to each other.
What happened? I don't know.
I haven't heard from him since last night.
What happened last night? [sighs.]
You know his imaginary girlfriend? [laughs.]
The one from Space Camp? Mm-hm.
She exists.
Hey, did you get a chance to check out Mars, back in August? Oh my God.
My dad let me borrow his telescope? It was amazing.
What was so amazing? Mars was the closest it's been in 60,000 years.
I know.
I had to duck.
[laughs.]
[Announcer.]
Vega, and brilliant Deneb, over 1,500 light years from Earth.
I feel like we've been sitting here for 1,500 light years.
[laughs.]
[cracking up.]
[also laughing.]
What? A light year is not a measure of time, Lily.
It's a measure of distance? [Lara and Brad cackle.]
Well, then why don't they call them light miles? Hey, remember that time Warren Posner got sick in the neutral buoyancy chamber? Oh my God.
And then he threw up all over Buzz Aldrin's shoes? Yeah.
[laughing.]
Wow, what a place to throw up on.
Some poor kid's shoes, huh? [laughing.]
Lily.
That kid was the second man on the moon.
Ha! That is funny.
So you sat through a show at the planetarium.
A lot of worse things could happen.
Yes.
And they did.
[Lana.]
I can't believe you're not gonna be there this summer, Brad.
[Lily.]
Well, believe it.
He's all booked up.
Sorry.
I know.
But Space Camp just won't be the same without you.
I'm sure it will be similar.
'Kay.
You know what? I think I should be heading home now.
[giggles.]
Taxi? Well, not immediately! Oh! The guy already stopped.
Sorry.
Bye-bye.
Okay.
I mean, I guess I'll see you around, Brad.
Hey.
Have fun! Bye.
See ya! [exhales.]
That was rude.
Yeah, tell me about it.
Of you.
Of me? What did I do? You two were the ones ignoring me.
Ignoring you? I went out of my way to include you! Oh, yeah! Wasn't it funny when Nerd Nerdlison threw up all over Buzz Lightyear? Buzz Aldrin.
Whatever.
Let's just-- move on, okay? We made great plans this summer.
No.
No, you made the plans, Lily! You didn't even ask me what I wanted to do! Well-- how could you have made the plans? You were at Space Camp for the last 5 summers! Hey, I had some of the best times of my life at that camp.
Yeah, but you've moved past that.
You're with me now.
Oh, yes.
I was nobody before we got together! I certainly couldn't have had a girlfriend! I mean, you created me! The great and powerful Lily! Oh.
Well, if I'm that horrible, why are you coming with me to the beach? Why don't you go to your stupid Space Camp? Well, maybe I will go to my stupid Space Camp! Well, I would encourage you to go to your stupid Space Camp.
Well, fine! I'll go to my stupid Space Camp! And it is not stupid! Honey, I'm sorry.
It's okay.
I mean, we had a fight.
All couples fight, right? [doorbell rings.]
Oh! There he is! Way to make me paranoid, Dad! [door opens.]
Oh! Hi, Hope! Hi.
Dad, it's not Brad.
I don't know why I listen to you.
I just, uh-- I came by to give you your CD.
Yeah, listen.
I'm-- I'm really sorry about what happened, and-- you know? Look.
Lots of people would agree that you can share a secret with a spouse.
See, it's-- it's beyond the spouse, past that, is where the real violation occurs.
He is my brother! Okay? Eddie is my brother! Oh, I missed the ceremony where you pledged to love, honor, and obey your brother! People threw rice at you.
You two took a honeymoon.
I'm just gonna put this down here and leave.
He's my brother! Oh, look.
Here's your life partner.
Eddie.
Hope, I've been trying to get a hold of you.
I know.
I've been busy.
I gotta go.
Wait.
I need to talk to you.
It's okay.
Let's just leave this alone.
Please.
Just two minutes.
Okay, fine.
Oh, look.
It's the second of three children you fathered with your brother.
Just keep 'em comin'.
Mm-hmm.
Jimmy, what's up with you? What's the matter? I found my secret admirer.
Jimmy Finnerty.
I guess someone forgot to tell you.
School's out.
Maybe you could help me.
I need a complete list of the names and numbers for the girl's chorus.
Jimmy, think about it.
If some girl came to me looking for your number, would you really want me to give it-- Yes.
No matter who-- Yes.
I can't do that.
And to be honest, I thought you were coming here in response to the note I put in your yearbook.
Your note? To call me.
The summer production this year is A Midsummer Night's Dream, and you are so funny, I thought you would make a marvelous Puck.
Puck? You know, the impish woodsfairy.
You know what, would it kill you to write a little less like a girl? Look on the bright side.
At least it wasn't a girl you didn't like.
Yeah.
It was a middle-aged man.
Yeah.
[Lily.]
Did Brad call while I was in the bathroom? No! Will you check and make sure the phone's working? Okay.
Did you really check? Hold on, it's a complicated procedure.
Oh, yeah! Yeah, it's working all right.
Yeah.
You're a liar! I'm not lying! Look, just take the key.
I don't want it.
You said you did.
Not to you.
You don't go telling some guy's brother's wife unless you want him to know.
God.
How did this happen? How did I become the woman who's freaked out over getting some guy's key? Life was so much simpler when I was just a woman who wanted to have a baby and you were just the guy that dropped in every so often to try and get me pregnant.
That was not so simple for me.
What we have now is much better.
I have a better idea.
Why don't you just give me back my key and we can go back to the way it was before I started all this.
I could do that.
But But? All my CDs are at your place.
Yeah And my espresso machine.
And my books.
Most of my clothes.
Wait a minute.
Are you living with me? Maybe a little.
Oh, my God.
You are.
You're living with me.
You've spent the night at my house every night for the last three weeks.
You get better water pressure than I do.
We're living together.
Let's not make a thing out of this.
Okay.
If it's okay with you, I know a guy who can get us a good deal on a satellite dish.
Sure.
Tell him to come by.
He's there now.
Henry! This bra cost $45! Then it should have held me.
No more bungee jumping.
But I'm bored! [Eddie.]
We're going now.
Goodbye.
All right.
Is everything okay? Everything's fine.
What's going on? Eddie and I are living together.
So great! I know.
Yawn.
I heard the door.
Was that Brad? No.
It was just Hope and Eddie leaving.
Oh, my Good, Mom.
I'm really worried.
Calm down.
I-I think Brad went to Space Camp and we can't spend the summer apart.
I'm borrowing the car, Dad.
All right, all right.
Check engine light's on.
Just smack the dashboard.
It goes away.
You got it.
Baby, I'm sorry.
I'm sorry I told Eddie.
No, it's okay.
It ended up working out fine.
No, no.
I mean, he's my brother-- I know, honey.
I know you guys are close.
It's fine.
Do you want to know a secret I told Eddie along time ago? I don't know.
Do I? We were in high school.
And he's like, "Who's that hot chick?" and I said, "That's Claudia Bustamante.
I'm gonna marry that girl.
" Yeah.
[Lily.]
Brad! Brad O'Keefe! Are you on this bus? Lily? Brad, what are you doing? I'm going to Space Camp like you told me to.
I was upset.
Now get off this bus.
No, Lily.
You take me for granted.
I'm not gonna be taken for granted anymore.
Come on, Brad.
I'm sorry about what I did.
You are? Yes! Now get off this bus! You can't just order me around.
Okay, I'm asking you.
Get off the bus right now! Oh, right.
Yes.
I get off the bus because I do exactly what Lily tells me.
Great! Let's go.
No! Have a nice summer, Lily! Brad! All right, space campers, commence countdown.
T minus 10, 9-- Let's talk about this.
There's nothing left to say.
Now would be a really good time to get off the bus.
[All.]
Liftoff! I'll see you in six weeks! Stupid space camp!
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