Growing Pains s02e18 Episode Script
185968 - Carnival
[ROCK MUSIC PLAYING ON STEREO.]
[MUSIC STOPS.]
Hey.
Mother.
Your tour has just been cancelled.
-I thought you were working late.
-I did.
You'll be pleased to know that I did all the dishes and put your dinner in the oven so it would be warm when you got home.
I did the dishes and I put your dinner in the oven.
Yeah, well, who told you to do it? Thank you, Carol.
Is your dad in the kitchen? Ah, no, he's gone.
Left me in charge.
[SCOFFS.]
Where is he? He's at Ben's school at the Mothers' Club meeting.
-Tonight? -Sounds a little shaky to me too, Mom.
I'm so busy with this story, the meeting completely slipped my mind.
-So you believe him? -Of course.
Why shouldn't I? You know, you've been busy with the paper and a man can get to feel lonely after a while-- Michael Aaron Seaver, what are you suggesting? That a man who leaves his home with two dozen homemade fudge surprise brownies is up to no good.
-Hi, Benny.
-Hi.
[CHUCKLES.]
How's my favorite 10-year-old on the planet? I'm good.
It's nice to see you doing your homework, but isn't it past your bedtime? Yeah.
I was waiting up for you.
Aw.
Why don't you stay up a few more minutes and keep me company while I eat? Great.
Look what I made in art class.
[GASPS.]
Wow.
How stylish.
And if I'd happened to eat that, it wouldn't hurt me.
[LAUGHS.]
They know you, Ben.
So do you have a picture I can put in it? -You want my picture? -Oh, yeah.
Gee, Benjamin, this is quite an honor.
-And practical too.
-Ha, ha.
-Practical? -Sure.
I figure with your picture, I won't miss you so much, even when you work late.
So how was your day? [SIGHS.]
JASON: Maggie? -In here.
Hi, honey.
Sorry I'm late.
I trust the mothers at the Mothers' Club enjoyed my fudge surprise brownie recipe? -Yes, they did.
-Good.
The meeting kind of bogged down when we got to the plans for the school carnival.
Myrtle Deforest said: [IN WOMAN'S VOICE.]
"We're gonna have to drop the dart booth because it's too violent.
" [IN NORMAL VOICE.]
That's Judy Jones' thing so she said, "Over my dead body.
" Myrtle said: [IN WOMAN'S VOICE.]
"That sounds fine to me.
" [IN NORMAL VOICE.]
Judy freaks then, "Rawr!" She leaps over the desk, grabs Myrtle by the throat, starts throttling her.
Throws her down, two, three, we're pulling bodies apart.
There's makeup everywhere.
Mwah.
I'm just kidding.
I knew that.
Did you think I didn't know that? Hey, am I off-base here or are you a little tense? What makes you think I'm tense? Well, you're soaking, and you never prune out like this unless there's tension.
If you know me so well, why didn't you let me know that I was failing as a mother? Is that the darn doorbell? Aren't you going to tell me that I'm not failing as a mother? Of course, Maggie.
You're not failing as a mother.
Don't patronize me.
-Did you get fired today or something? -No.
At work everybody loves me.
Well, before I turn in, I think I'll go buff the Volvo.
At home, little Ben has to carry a picture of me to remember what I look like.
Maggie, Ben carries pictures of Rambo.
And I totally forgot about the Mothers' Club meeting.
Do you want a massage? And then I find this.
Read this.
Might have to help me here, Mag.
It's a letter from the Wendell Willkie Elementary School Mothers' Club.
And the first line says, "Fellow mothers.
" And it's addressed to you.
An official body of the Long Island school system recognizes you as Ben's mother.
What do they know, Maggie? They're just a bunch of women.
It's a joke.
Come on.
Laughter is the best way of releasing tension naturally.
Come on, try it.
[LAUGHS.]
Okay, we'll get serious for a minute, then.
If you don't lighten up, I'm gonna have to shoot you.
[BLOWS RASPBERRY.]
[LAUGHS.]
-Is that the best you can do? -Well, without a rubber chicken, yeah.
Jason, I expected some sound advice.
Like, "Maggie, put your feelings of failure to work.
" Do something, spend more time with Ben.
Volunteer for his carnival so he knows that I care.
Why not? That is a great idea.
It's so good, it's so simple.
Jason, why didn't I think of it myself? You're welcome.
Honey, I am not showing off.
I just felt like killing six hours and whipping up a batch of baklava.
-Yoo-hoo.
Jason, hi.
JASON: Hi.
-Oh, Jason, you came.
JASON: Hello.
-You remember my wife.
-Oh, of course.
Annie.
MAGGIE: Hi, Annie.
-No, I'm Gail.
-Hi.
MAGGIE: Maggie.
No, Myrtle.
Girls, girls.
Let's grab our seats.
Okay, we have a lot of carnival business to discuss before we can get to those luscious, succulent and very tantalizing desserts.
Some of which are still warm.
Mm.
[SIGHS.]
So any old business? Yes, Gracie.
I just wanted to tell Jason that I tried his rump roast marinade recipe and my whole family just adored it.
Oh, good.
You wanna have some real excitement, try soaking your rump for two full days.
[ALL LAUGH.]
Okay, any new business? -First of all, I think-- -Yes? Hello, I'm Maggie Seaver, and I'm the other Seaver mother.
I just wanted to say that I'd be happy to volunteer to help out at Saturday's carnival.
Bravo.
I know I'm a little late, but since this is to raise money for our kids' school-- I know how important it is.
--anything I can do.
That is the Wendell Willkie spirit.
Come on, ladies.
Maggie Seaver, you come on down.
You need to get with Gracie Thornton.
She's our carnival chairman.
"Chairperson.
" Yes, Gracie? I would just like to move that I be replaced as carnival chairperson by Maggie Seaver.
-What? -I second that motion.
-No, see-- -All in favor, say "Aye.
" WOMEN: Aye.
-Jason? Sorry.
Aye.
-Opposed? -No.
Motion carried.
Maggie Seaver is the new carnival chairperson.
Okay, with no other business before me, this meeting is adjourned.
Let's eat.
-Wait a minute.
-Why? I don't know anything about being a carnival chairman.
-"Chairperson.
" -It's really very simple.
I thought you wanted to help.
Yes, I do, but-- Look, is there anyone on the carnival committee that's done this before? Carnival committee.
What a wonderful idea.
Uh, Judy, I move we let Maggie off the hook.
-Oh, I second the motion.
-Wait a minute.
How many of you have volunteered to work on the carnival? With this attitude, I'm surprised somebody hasn't moved to cancel the carnival.
-I second that motion.
-Hold it.
So this means that we're all too busy to help the children, is that it? Well, look, I'm busy too, but I am going to make the time.
What do you all have to do that's so important? The cooking? The laundry? The housekeeping? I'm arguing a case before the State Supreme Court.
Okay.
But what about the rest of us? -I'll volunteer.
-This is a very busy man.
Yes, you know I'm a psychiatrist.
I could spend up to eight hours a day on my anal-retentives alone.
Aren't we all forgetting what's important here? The children.
They're why we're here.
Are we really all gonna sit here and let our kids down just when they need us the most? [CLEARS THROAT.]
-I volunteer.
-There you go.
-Me too.
-Great.
-I volunteer.
-Wonderful.
I volunteer.
Oh, the heck with my client.
Let him fry.
Keep stirring, Carol.
This chili is gonna bring Ben's school a dollar a bowl.
You could raise a lot more by giving this stuff away and charging $10 for antacid tablets.
Hi.
Wow, what neat stuff.
Don't touch those.
Those are grab-bag prizes for your carnival.
If this isn't a gift from God.
Whoa! Mom, a huge bubble is forming.
Maggie, come and see this.
Uh, Mike, tell your dad I'm busy.
She's busy, Dad.
She's lancing a grease pocket.
Ben, step back.
Ben, I told you those were prizes.
Look what Charlie Bubas donated to the auction, heh, heh.
Well, put it by the auction box.
Who's gonna buy a statue with the arms busted off? -Ben, you're a real aficionado.
-Take that back.
Ben, no arguments.
I have a lot to do to get ready for your carnival.
But, Mom, she called me a fish.
Ben, I said no arguments.
Now, we're doing all this for you.
If you can't help, you can at least stay out of the way.
Yeah, we're working here.
[BUBBLE POPS.]
[CAROL WHIMPERS.]
The chili just burped.
Oh, that means it's ready.
Oh, this is wonderful.
We have a huge crowd gathering outside.
We're either gonna have a festival or a riot.
Well, I've got the 220 split up.
I've got the 110 all fired up and ready to go.
Sounds like I know what I'm doing, doesn't it? All right, Earl, hit it.
Oh, Jason.
It's great.
VOLUNTEERS: Oh.
JASON: Just be thankful I'm not running a nuclear power plant.
Just a short somewhere.
I'll take care of it.
Okay.
Okay, everybody ready? Kissing booth ready.
Poker booth ready.
Dart booth ready.
Cotton candy booth ready.
Do I have to wear this hat? Face painting booth ready.
Good work, Clarabelle.
Okay, what about the auction booth? Oh, I'm running that.
Okay, auction booth ready.
I need help with my whatchamacallit booth.
I could use some male lips in my booth.
All right, hit it again, Earl.
[VOLUNTEERS CHEERING.]
Jason, if you're through we need help in the booths.
-Over here, Jason.
-Oh, Jason, help me.
What to do? What to do? Well, it's time I lend my lips to charity.
You would have to pick her, huh? -I'll help Judy, if that'll make you happy.
-Very.
Earl, would you help Myrtle, please? Oh.
Maggie, may I say in the calm before the storm that you're an inspiration to the other mothers.
Balancing a career, kids, this carnival.
What a gal.
It is so wonderful to meet someone at life's banquet who is always able to dish up another helping.
It's the most wonderful.
Look at them.
They think they're doing all this for us.
Yep.
-And they're really doing it for themselves.
-Yeah.
Blatant self-aggrandizement.
Yeah.
It's disgusting.
Which mother's yours? The one who looks like Mary Ann from Gilligan's Island.
Which one's yours? The one who's ignoring me.
She wouldn't even let me run the dart booth.
Just because she said I'm so unpredictable.
Which one was Mary Ann? [INAUDIBLE DIALOGUE.]
MAGGIE: Going once.
Going twice.
Sold.
Use it in good health, sir.
[MAGGIE AND GAIL LAUGH.]
Well, that's our last animal item.
What do we have left, Gail? Oh, somebody donated a little clay cameo.
With my picture in it.
Let's start-- No.
My picture? Where did this come from, Gail? -It was in the box.
-Ben.
-A buck.
-Just a minute.
-Two bucks.
-Ho! -I can't sell this.
-Two-fifty.
-Five bucks.
-This is not for sale.
-Ten.
-Twelve.
-Fifteen.
-Sixteen.
-Seventeen.
-Twenty.
-Hey.
GAIL: Ho! -Twenty-five.
-Maggie.
-Thirty.
-Stop.
Thirty-five.
Going once, going twice.
Sold.
Gail, can you take over for a minute, please? Alrighty.
What's my opening bid for a gross of Size 38 double-D brassieres? -One thousand dollars.
-Sold.
Okay, judgment day.
Fifth and final card.
A seven from heaven.
Whoa, three of a kind.
A 10, lousy luck.
Ride the garbage truck.
And a jake, what that make? Two pair, life's not fair.
And an ace for the ace.
Another full boat, dealer wins again.
And on behalf of all the little children we thank you.
Mike, have you seen Ben? Yeah, he came by and gave me all his tickets.
Why would he do that? Mom, very little of what Ben does makes sense.
-I'd better check with Carol.
-Good idea.
She's just as weird as he is.
Look at it this way.
If you can't eat it, you could strip your furniture with it.
Carol, has Ben been around here? Just for a second.
Same as everybody else, Mom.
Smell this stuff.
-Did he say anything? -Well, he asked for my house key.
Did he say why? He may have.
You know, I think this chili is affecting my hearing too.
-Jason.
-Not now, honey, I'm a little-- So, what did you want? Honey, did Ben say anything to you about going home? -No.
-Well, he did.
He gave Mike his tickets and got CarolâÂÂs key.
Well, that doesn't make any sense.
He wouldn't miss his own carniv-- -Jason, I'm talking to you.
-I'm listening, I'm listening.
Look at this.
His cameo that he made for my picture, I found it in the auction box.
Well, you know, maybe that's just his way of telling you something.
-But what? JASON: I don't know.
You gotta think that kids have different ways they try to communicate-- [CROWD CHEERING.]
We just have to explore every possible way of-- Maggie? Maggie? [FRANK SINATRA'S "ONE MORE FOR THE ROAD" PLAYING ON STEREO.]
It's a quarter to 3 There's no one in the place 'Cept you and me So set 'em up, Joe I got a little story Benjamin Seaver.
Mom, where have you been? [MUSIC STOPS.]
At your carnival till I found out you'd left without even a word.
You were busy.
Benny, I am never too busy for you.
Mom, I left hours ago and you show up now? So you wanted to worry me? I wanted something.
Is that why you got rid of this? I was wondering where that went.
Well, I found it in the auction box.
How'd it get there? So you wanted me to find it and come running home? No, I wanted you to miss me and come running home.
Ben, there were 300 people there.
Yeah, but only one who's your most favorite Honey, why do you think I volunteered? I don't know.
I didn't know anything except you were really a great mom before that stupid carnival.
Oh, Ben.
I didn't do any of this for myself.
The only one I cared about was you.
I'm not kind of person who gets wrapped up in what I'm doing that I'd forget about you.
Oh, holy Toledo.
Huh? Oh, Ben, I owe you an apology.
Talk about me being a jerk.
I didn't say that.
-No, I did.
-Oh.
Oh, honey, I.
I'm so sorry.
l-- I couldn't see the forest for the trees.
What trees? Ben, I thought that you thought my work was more important to me than you.
But what I thought you thought you never thought.
And what you thought I thought I never thought.
What were we thinking? [MOUTHS.]
I love you.
All right, let's hear it for the little spitballer in pigtails.
[CROWD CHEERING.]
All right, that's 38 in a row.
Thirty-seven.
This next one will be 38.
Okay, carnivalâÂÂs almost over, folks.
We don't want you to go home with coupons.
So you can help out over here and sink a shrink for charity.
Hey, Judy.
I'm out of here, Judy.
You're gonna have to find another sinkee.
[ALL BOOING.]
Come on, Dad.
Remember, this is for a good cause.
I know that.
You what? -You want to take my place? -No-- Ladies and gentlemen, for just $1-- Maybe just 75 cents, 50 cents.
I'll loan you a dollar.
Step right up here.
My money is your shot.
Go ahead and dunk a punk.
Ladies and gentlemen, go for it.
Uh, may I try? I'm his sister.
[CROWD CHEERING.]
[MUSIC STOPS.]
Hey.
Mother.
Your tour has just been cancelled.
-I thought you were working late.
-I did.
You'll be pleased to know that I did all the dishes and put your dinner in the oven so it would be warm when you got home.
I did the dishes and I put your dinner in the oven.
Yeah, well, who told you to do it? Thank you, Carol.
Is your dad in the kitchen? Ah, no, he's gone.
Left me in charge.
[SCOFFS.]
Where is he? He's at Ben's school at the Mothers' Club meeting.
-Tonight? -Sounds a little shaky to me too, Mom.
I'm so busy with this story, the meeting completely slipped my mind.
-So you believe him? -Of course.
Why shouldn't I? You know, you've been busy with the paper and a man can get to feel lonely after a while-- Michael Aaron Seaver, what are you suggesting? That a man who leaves his home with two dozen homemade fudge surprise brownies is up to no good.
-Hi, Benny.
-Hi.
[CHUCKLES.]
How's my favorite 10-year-old on the planet? I'm good.
It's nice to see you doing your homework, but isn't it past your bedtime? Yeah.
I was waiting up for you.
Aw.
Why don't you stay up a few more minutes and keep me company while I eat? Great.
Look what I made in art class.
[GASPS.]
Wow.
How stylish.
And if I'd happened to eat that, it wouldn't hurt me.
[LAUGHS.]
They know you, Ben.
So do you have a picture I can put in it? -You want my picture? -Oh, yeah.
Gee, Benjamin, this is quite an honor.
-And practical too.
-Ha, ha.
-Practical? -Sure.
I figure with your picture, I won't miss you so much, even when you work late.
So how was your day? [SIGHS.]
JASON: Maggie? -In here.
Hi, honey.
Sorry I'm late.
I trust the mothers at the Mothers' Club enjoyed my fudge surprise brownie recipe? -Yes, they did.
-Good.
The meeting kind of bogged down when we got to the plans for the school carnival.
Myrtle Deforest said: [IN WOMAN'S VOICE.]
"We're gonna have to drop the dart booth because it's too violent.
" [IN NORMAL VOICE.]
That's Judy Jones' thing so she said, "Over my dead body.
" Myrtle said: [IN WOMAN'S VOICE.]
"That sounds fine to me.
" [IN NORMAL VOICE.]
Judy freaks then, "Rawr!" She leaps over the desk, grabs Myrtle by the throat, starts throttling her.
Throws her down, two, three, we're pulling bodies apart.
There's makeup everywhere.
Mwah.
I'm just kidding.
I knew that.
Did you think I didn't know that? Hey, am I off-base here or are you a little tense? What makes you think I'm tense? Well, you're soaking, and you never prune out like this unless there's tension.
If you know me so well, why didn't you let me know that I was failing as a mother? Is that the darn doorbell? Aren't you going to tell me that I'm not failing as a mother? Of course, Maggie.
You're not failing as a mother.
Don't patronize me.
-Did you get fired today or something? -No.
At work everybody loves me.
Well, before I turn in, I think I'll go buff the Volvo.
At home, little Ben has to carry a picture of me to remember what I look like.
Maggie, Ben carries pictures of Rambo.
And I totally forgot about the Mothers' Club meeting.
Do you want a massage? And then I find this.
Read this.
Might have to help me here, Mag.
It's a letter from the Wendell Willkie Elementary School Mothers' Club.
And the first line says, "Fellow mothers.
" And it's addressed to you.
An official body of the Long Island school system recognizes you as Ben's mother.
What do they know, Maggie? They're just a bunch of women.
It's a joke.
Come on.
Laughter is the best way of releasing tension naturally.
Come on, try it.
[LAUGHS.]
Okay, we'll get serious for a minute, then.
If you don't lighten up, I'm gonna have to shoot you.
[BLOWS RASPBERRY.]
[LAUGHS.]
-Is that the best you can do? -Well, without a rubber chicken, yeah.
Jason, I expected some sound advice.
Like, "Maggie, put your feelings of failure to work.
" Do something, spend more time with Ben.
Volunteer for his carnival so he knows that I care.
Why not? That is a great idea.
It's so good, it's so simple.
Jason, why didn't I think of it myself? You're welcome.
Honey, I am not showing off.
I just felt like killing six hours and whipping up a batch of baklava.
-Yoo-hoo.
Jason, hi.
JASON: Hi.
-Oh, Jason, you came.
JASON: Hello.
-You remember my wife.
-Oh, of course.
Annie.
MAGGIE: Hi, Annie.
-No, I'm Gail.
-Hi.
MAGGIE: Maggie.
No, Myrtle.
Girls, girls.
Let's grab our seats.
Okay, we have a lot of carnival business to discuss before we can get to those luscious, succulent and very tantalizing desserts.
Some of which are still warm.
Mm.
[SIGHS.]
So any old business? Yes, Gracie.
I just wanted to tell Jason that I tried his rump roast marinade recipe and my whole family just adored it.
Oh, good.
You wanna have some real excitement, try soaking your rump for two full days.
[ALL LAUGH.]
Okay, any new business? -First of all, I think-- -Yes? Hello, I'm Maggie Seaver, and I'm the other Seaver mother.
I just wanted to say that I'd be happy to volunteer to help out at Saturday's carnival.
Bravo.
I know I'm a little late, but since this is to raise money for our kids' school-- I know how important it is.
--anything I can do.
That is the Wendell Willkie spirit.
Come on, ladies.
Maggie Seaver, you come on down.
You need to get with Gracie Thornton.
She's our carnival chairman.
"Chairperson.
" Yes, Gracie? I would just like to move that I be replaced as carnival chairperson by Maggie Seaver.
-What? -I second that motion.
-No, see-- -All in favor, say "Aye.
" WOMEN: Aye.
-Jason? Sorry.
Aye.
-Opposed? -No.
Motion carried.
Maggie Seaver is the new carnival chairperson.
Okay, with no other business before me, this meeting is adjourned.
Let's eat.
-Wait a minute.
-Why? I don't know anything about being a carnival chairman.
-"Chairperson.
" -It's really very simple.
I thought you wanted to help.
Yes, I do, but-- Look, is there anyone on the carnival committee that's done this before? Carnival committee.
What a wonderful idea.
Uh, Judy, I move we let Maggie off the hook.
-Oh, I second the motion.
-Wait a minute.
How many of you have volunteered to work on the carnival? With this attitude, I'm surprised somebody hasn't moved to cancel the carnival.
-I second that motion.
-Hold it.
So this means that we're all too busy to help the children, is that it? Well, look, I'm busy too, but I am going to make the time.
What do you all have to do that's so important? The cooking? The laundry? The housekeeping? I'm arguing a case before the State Supreme Court.
Okay.
But what about the rest of us? -I'll volunteer.
-This is a very busy man.
Yes, you know I'm a psychiatrist.
I could spend up to eight hours a day on my anal-retentives alone.
Aren't we all forgetting what's important here? The children.
They're why we're here.
Are we really all gonna sit here and let our kids down just when they need us the most? [CLEARS THROAT.]
-I volunteer.
-There you go.
-Me too.
-Great.
-I volunteer.
-Wonderful.
I volunteer.
Oh, the heck with my client.
Let him fry.
Keep stirring, Carol.
This chili is gonna bring Ben's school a dollar a bowl.
You could raise a lot more by giving this stuff away and charging $10 for antacid tablets.
Hi.
Wow, what neat stuff.
Don't touch those.
Those are grab-bag prizes for your carnival.
If this isn't a gift from God.
Whoa! Mom, a huge bubble is forming.
Maggie, come and see this.
Uh, Mike, tell your dad I'm busy.
She's busy, Dad.
She's lancing a grease pocket.
Ben, step back.
Ben, I told you those were prizes.
Look what Charlie Bubas donated to the auction, heh, heh.
Well, put it by the auction box.
Who's gonna buy a statue with the arms busted off? -Ben, you're a real aficionado.
-Take that back.
Ben, no arguments.
I have a lot to do to get ready for your carnival.
But, Mom, she called me a fish.
Ben, I said no arguments.
Now, we're doing all this for you.
If you can't help, you can at least stay out of the way.
Yeah, we're working here.
[BUBBLE POPS.]
[CAROL WHIMPERS.]
The chili just burped.
Oh, that means it's ready.
Oh, this is wonderful.
We have a huge crowd gathering outside.
We're either gonna have a festival or a riot.
Well, I've got the 220 split up.
I've got the 110 all fired up and ready to go.
Sounds like I know what I'm doing, doesn't it? All right, Earl, hit it.
Oh, Jason.
It's great.
VOLUNTEERS: Oh.
JASON: Just be thankful I'm not running a nuclear power plant.
Just a short somewhere.
I'll take care of it.
Okay.
Okay, everybody ready? Kissing booth ready.
Poker booth ready.
Dart booth ready.
Cotton candy booth ready.
Do I have to wear this hat? Face painting booth ready.
Good work, Clarabelle.
Okay, what about the auction booth? Oh, I'm running that.
Okay, auction booth ready.
I need help with my whatchamacallit booth.
I could use some male lips in my booth.
All right, hit it again, Earl.
[VOLUNTEERS CHEERING.]
Jason, if you're through we need help in the booths.
-Over here, Jason.
-Oh, Jason, help me.
What to do? What to do? Well, it's time I lend my lips to charity.
You would have to pick her, huh? -I'll help Judy, if that'll make you happy.
-Very.
Earl, would you help Myrtle, please? Oh.
Maggie, may I say in the calm before the storm that you're an inspiration to the other mothers.
Balancing a career, kids, this carnival.
What a gal.
It is so wonderful to meet someone at life's banquet who is always able to dish up another helping.
It's the most wonderful.
Look at them.
They think they're doing all this for us.
Yep.
-And they're really doing it for themselves.
-Yeah.
Blatant self-aggrandizement.
Yeah.
It's disgusting.
Which mother's yours? The one who looks like Mary Ann from Gilligan's Island.
Which one's yours? The one who's ignoring me.
She wouldn't even let me run the dart booth.
Just because she said I'm so unpredictable.
Which one was Mary Ann? [INAUDIBLE DIALOGUE.]
MAGGIE: Going once.
Going twice.
Sold.
Use it in good health, sir.
[MAGGIE AND GAIL LAUGH.]
Well, that's our last animal item.
What do we have left, Gail? Oh, somebody donated a little clay cameo.
With my picture in it.
Let's start-- No.
My picture? Where did this come from, Gail? -It was in the box.
-Ben.
-A buck.
-Just a minute.
-Two bucks.
-Ho! -I can't sell this.
-Two-fifty.
-Five bucks.
-This is not for sale.
-Ten.
-Twelve.
-Fifteen.
-Sixteen.
-Seventeen.
-Twenty.
-Hey.
GAIL: Ho! -Twenty-five.
-Maggie.
-Thirty.
-Stop.
Thirty-five.
Going once, going twice.
Sold.
Gail, can you take over for a minute, please? Alrighty.
What's my opening bid for a gross of Size 38 double-D brassieres? -One thousand dollars.
-Sold.
Okay, judgment day.
Fifth and final card.
A seven from heaven.
Whoa, three of a kind.
A 10, lousy luck.
Ride the garbage truck.
And a jake, what that make? Two pair, life's not fair.
And an ace for the ace.
Another full boat, dealer wins again.
And on behalf of all the little children we thank you.
Mike, have you seen Ben? Yeah, he came by and gave me all his tickets.
Why would he do that? Mom, very little of what Ben does makes sense.
-I'd better check with Carol.
-Good idea.
She's just as weird as he is.
Look at it this way.
If you can't eat it, you could strip your furniture with it.
Carol, has Ben been around here? Just for a second.
Same as everybody else, Mom.
Smell this stuff.
-Did he say anything? -Well, he asked for my house key.
Did he say why? He may have.
You know, I think this chili is affecting my hearing too.
-Jason.
-Not now, honey, I'm a little-- So, what did you want? Honey, did Ben say anything to you about going home? -No.
-Well, he did.
He gave Mike his tickets and got CarolâÂÂs key.
Well, that doesn't make any sense.
He wouldn't miss his own carniv-- -Jason, I'm talking to you.
-I'm listening, I'm listening.
Look at this.
His cameo that he made for my picture, I found it in the auction box.
Well, you know, maybe that's just his way of telling you something.
-But what? JASON: I don't know.
You gotta think that kids have different ways they try to communicate-- [CROWD CHEERING.]
We just have to explore every possible way of-- Maggie? Maggie? [FRANK SINATRA'S "ONE MORE FOR THE ROAD" PLAYING ON STEREO.]
It's a quarter to 3 There's no one in the place 'Cept you and me So set 'em up, Joe I got a little story Benjamin Seaver.
Mom, where have you been? [MUSIC STOPS.]
At your carnival till I found out you'd left without even a word.
You were busy.
Benny, I am never too busy for you.
Mom, I left hours ago and you show up now? So you wanted to worry me? I wanted something.
Is that why you got rid of this? I was wondering where that went.
Well, I found it in the auction box.
How'd it get there? So you wanted me to find it and come running home? No, I wanted you to miss me and come running home.
Ben, there were 300 people there.
Yeah, but only one who's your most favorite Honey, why do you think I volunteered? I don't know.
I didn't know anything except you were really a great mom before that stupid carnival.
Oh, Ben.
I didn't do any of this for myself.
The only one I cared about was you.
I'm not kind of person who gets wrapped up in what I'm doing that I'd forget about you.
Oh, holy Toledo.
Huh? Oh, Ben, I owe you an apology.
Talk about me being a jerk.
I didn't say that.
-No, I did.
-Oh.
Oh, honey, I.
I'm so sorry.
l-- I couldn't see the forest for the trees.
What trees? Ben, I thought that you thought my work was more important to me than you.
But what I thought you thought you never thought.
And what you thought I thought I never thought.
What were we thinking? [MOUTHS.]
I love you.
All right, let's hear it for the little spitballer in pigtails.
[CROWD CHEERING.]
All right, that's 38 in a row.
Thirty-seven.
This next one will be 38.
Okay, carnivalâÂÂs almost over, folks.
We don't want you to go home with coupons.
So you can help out over here and sink a shrink for charity.
Hey, Judy.
I'm out of here, Judy.
You're gonna have to find another sinkee.
[ALL BOOING.]
Come on, Dad.
Remember, this is for a good cause.
I know that.
You what? -You want to take my place? -No-- Ladies and gentlemen, for just $1-- Maybe just 75 cents, 50 cents.
I'll loan you a dollar.
Step right up here.
My money is your shot.
Go ahead and dunk a punk.
Ladies and gentlemen, go for it.
Uh, may I try? I'm his sister.
[CROWD CHEERING.]