Grown-ish (2018) s01e04 Episode Script

Starboy

1 ZOEY: Mark Zuckerberg.
Tavi Gevinson.
Malala Yousafzai.
[Bleep] those people.
Okay, fine.
They're amazing.
But that's the problem.
These guys set the bar so high, they put a ridiculous amount of pressure on the rest of my generation to figure it all out before we hit 25, the pressure to graduate summa cum laude or to have a million Instagram followers or to become the next Soundcloud superstar [ELECTRONIC MUSIC PLAYING] or the pressure to find the perfect internship that will one day lead to the perfect job.
But as much pressure as we think we're under, it's nothing compared to college basketball players.
I'm Cash Mooney from Oakland, California, and I can't wait to bring my game to the college level.
Heart of the lion Fire inside me, blaze like a siren Why won't you try it? Wake up the beast, no, I can't keep silent ANNOUNCER: All-American Cash Mooney! What a move! He's as good as cash money! Get loud for me The number-one high-school player in the country Get, get loud for me coming to a Division-I college near you.
Get, get loud for me Wait.
So, he asked for me to be his tutor? I'm just as shocked as you.
Watch out, world, I'm grown now I'm grown Learn something new every day I don't know know, so I'ma feel my way Got the weight of the world on me But no regrets, this is what I say Watch out world, I'm grown now - I'm grown - You can tell me My heart beating so loud Mama, look, I'm grown now I'm grown Well, why does it have to be me? Don't you Don't you have people for this? Uh, yeah.
You.
You signed up for the tutoring program.
You must "toot.
" And remember Cal U's motto "You do me a favor, I do you a favor.
" I thought it was, "Per Studia Mens Nova.
" Well, I thought it was, "You asked me to write you a recommendation for a Teen Vogue fellowship.
" Uh, yes.
I mean, you can say it to yourself in Latin if that helps.
I don't know how to.
coming to a Division-I college near you.
My new student.
I can't believe Dean Parker's making you do this.
Making her? Dude's insane.
I saw a video of him dunking at 9 years old.
Yeah, even I know that.
He's on the short list of black guys that my dad would be cool with me dating.
- Okay, pause.
Your dad has a list? - Yeah.
Um, Cash and Odell Beckham.
Kevin Hart was on it, but then he got scratched off.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
- That makes sense.
- You know what? Guys, I get who Cash is.
I just don't care about a basketball player.
Right now, all I'm about is getting this fellowship.
He needs to pass a class.
I need a rec letter.
They're totally gonna bone.
[LAUGHTER] No, we're not.
I am off of guys for a minute, especially after the whole Aaron/Luca mess.
Hey, what the Wow.
I know you ain't talking to this clown.
I'm the clown? Bro, you look like Willow Smith.
Guys.
- [CELLPHONE BEEPS] - Yeah.
You're wack.
[COMPUTER BEEPS] Yeah, but Aaron and Luca are clowns - compared to Cash Mooney.
- Yeah.
Seriously.
You don't see a 40-foot banner of Aaron's ducktail blocking the wheelchair ramp on the way into the library, do you? [GRUNTING] This is not about a guy.
This is about getting a good rec from the Dean of Students so I can lock down the flyest fellowship in town.
You guys are ridiculous.
You're ridiculous, bitch.
Whoa.
My bad.
I-I felt threatened.
I felt it too, girl.
You have nothing to apologize for.
- Okay.
- Yeah, just My first study session with Cash wasn't off to a great start.
- In fact, it never started.
- Yo, Zoey, where you going? Where am I going? Dude, you were an hour late.
I'm sorry.
I had practice.
Okay, look, I get that you're the king of Cal U and I get that everyone loves you around here, but I don't need this.
You know, there's gotta be easier ways to get a recommendation letter, so I'm out.
Zoey, wait.
Oh, my God.
Seriously, stop.
Dude, can you stop? Please! This is not a good look.
Campus security is gonna think I'm chasing you.
Because you are.
Look, I-I'm sorry.
I had a rough night.
Coach got in my ass about how I've been playing.
I'm not sure if you heard, but my first couple of games didn't go so great.
Probably because your cardio sucks.
Zoey, I need you.
I really need your help.
You're probably just trying to run some stupid little game, and I'm not interested.
There are a million other tutors.
You don't need me.
Look, I'm gonna be honest with you.
Did I ask for you because you're super cute? Yes.
But I knew if I had a pretty girl tutoring me, I wouldn't want to look stupid.
Look, I gotta pass this class, or I'm done.
So, that's all it's about? You passing your class and me being stunning? Yes.
100%.
No creepy stuff.
Besides the fact that you just chased me right now.
Besides chasing you.
Ooh, ooh - Okay.
- Ooh, ooh Oh, oh, oh We live in an almost world Where cellophane dreams disappear Into the lost and found Man, everything used to just click in high school.
Then I get here, and everybody's expecting me to be that dude.
But I've been putting up bricks.
Coach took away my spot, got all in my head.
I can't find a rhythm anymore.
I get it.
I mean, I ran my high school, and I thought I was gonna run this place, but it's it's just so different, trying to balance classes and friends and guys.
Nothing comes easy.
Oh, no, wait.
There's one thing that's come easy my new nickname.
Can we get some cups? They're calling you the "Cup Bitch.
" [CHUCKLES] - No.
- Yes.
You're the Cup Bitch? - You've heard of me? - No way.
[CHUCKLES] Well, at least I have someone famous who's gonna help me ace this test.
Oh, slow down, cowboy.
Ace it? Let's aim for a low "C" and just call it a win.
Okay.
I'm in.
- [CHUCKLES] - AARON: Hey.
Hey.
What's, uh What's What's What's up? What's up, guys? Yo.
What's up, lil' man? Yeah, it's, uh, not the best time for a selfie right now, but I'll catch you on the way out.
I actually didn't come for a Sorry about that.
Oh, no, you have nothing to apologize for.
Did you just see that? Left hand, right hand, left hand, right hand Game night at Cal U meant you had to get to the Titanium early enough so you didn't end up like this guy.
Bobby! Marshawn! Hey, hey, can you tell the bouncer who I am? Boys, I know you see me! You just pointed at me and laughed! Left hand, right hand Left hand, right hand Hi.
Um, what's the cheapest beer you've got at this fine establishment? Uh, Madison Lager.
There's not even a close second.
Do you, uh Can I get you one? Left hand, right hand Thank you.
[CHUCKLES] But, um, we're on a date.
- Can I buy you both one? - We're not looking for a threesome, Slick.
Oh, no, no, no, no.
II didn't mean it like that.
I mean, they're cheap beers.
I was just trying to apologize for the misunderstanding.
You don't need to apologize.
You should just leave.
Okay.
You were, um, coming in kinda hot there, weren't you? I just hate straight guys with the whole lesbian-fantasy thing.
It's so cliché.
Oh, my God, yeah, it is so cliché.
I hate clichés, too.
But I feel like the threesome one is pretty hot.
So you're down with the objectification of our people? Oh, no.
I mean, technically, I'm bi, so You are? I wanna say, "Yeah," but you're giving me a real strong "no" vibe.
Look, I don't want to be some girl's experiment, okay? So, why don't you call me when you're done going through this whole bi phase? Wait.
Did you just Did you just say "phase"? She just said "phase," you guys.
I heard it.
You know, it's LGBTQ! Respect the letter, bitch! Left hand, right hand [CLEARS THROAT] Hi.
Left hand, right hand Left hand, right hand Right hand, right hand Hey.
I'll take that beer now.
Cal U faces a tough opponent tonight in Campbell State.
But before we can get to that, we have to address the elephant in the room Cassius Mooney.
Cal U had high hopes for the top recruit in the country, but, Kenny, as we come to the third game, he's not even in the starting lineup.
KENNY: You know what? I watched him in the McDonald's game, and I just knew he was gonna be in the League.
But now I hate to say it in this day and age, if you're not a one-and-done, you better start looking for a major.
Ohh.
Looks like, uh, lil' man's having a rough go.
He's a kid.
I just don't get how anybody can be expected to play when you've got millions of people who don't even know you talking crap about you.
I can barely play Bop It when people are watching.
I don't feel sorry for him.
Do you know how much my parents paid for me to go to school? And he gets to go to school for free for throwing a ball through a net.
You think it's just about throwing a ball through a net, Ana? Being a college athlete's your whole life.
SKY: Yeah.
For us with track team, there's practice, conditioning, weights, meets, therapy, film, travel.
And you get paid for it.
Mm.
Paid? Maybe with an education, but Cash doesn't get any money.
He's broke.
He couldn't afford a piece of pizza.
- What? - Mm-hmm.
Wow.
If he's broke, then what are you guys? Sitting here wondering if you're gonna finish those poppers.
VIVEK: It's classic market economics.
You know how much colleges make off these guys? Like [SCOFFS] billions.
Cal U throws out, what, 40K, 50K for a scholy, but the basketball program alone made $75 mil last year, so Wow.
That is so messed up.
Oh, it's real messed up.
Lemme break it down.
Now, you see this network right here? Paid $10 billion, with a "B," for the rights to play games like this on television.
Oh, you see this guy right here? That's the coach.
He makes $7.
2 million, win or lose.
Now, you see these people sitting in the seat right here, these great seats? These are the boosters.
These guys paid $1,700 a pop to sit in these seats and $200 for these jerseys that these 18-year-olds wear and get no money from.
And for all the money they make for the university and the collegiate athletic system, you know what? Only less than 1% of them actually play professionally.
Yeah, that's real messed up.
[SCOFFS] Once again, the system profits off the backs of the black man, you know? Or woman.
And we don't get paid for it.
It's the same old story.
You know what? We're just gonna take these poppers.
Yes.
Grab the ranch, too.
[LAUGHS] But, I mean, truth be told, your boy shouldn't be getting paid.
He kind of He kind of sucks.
- Mm-hmm.
- [SIGHS] Inbound to Mooney.
Brings the ball up the court.
- [ALL GROAN] - MAN: Yes! Wow.
He dribbled the ball off his foot and out of bounds.
Yeah.
Damn.
Poor Cash.
- [BUZZER] - And those Titans lose again.
ZOEY: So, Cash had another rough game, and it turned out he wasn't the most popular guy on campus anymore.
I have lattes for Zoey and Cash "So-not-money"? Great.
Zoey, if you check your inbox, you'll see that I sent you your letter of recommendation for the Teen Vogue fellowship.
- Oh, my God, thank you so much.
- Eh.
But I'm not done tutoring Cash.
Well, according to the boosters and the athletic department, you most definitely are.
But Cash hasn't even taken his midterms yet.
And he's gonna struggle.
Look, I admire what you did for that kid, truly, but if you really want to help the school out, we have a 6'7" outside linebacker who's having a muy hard time with Español.
Okay, wait.
So, you guys are just gonna give up on him? I don't want to lie to you.
So don't make me.
MAN: I have a chai latte for Dean Parker.
Oh.
So, the school was giving up on Cash.
Ah.
He turned the "D" into the head of a penis.
But was I ready to? While the term "filibuster" ultimately derives from the Dutch term "vrijbuiter," to mean a pillaging and plundering adventurer Cash, can you please stop making dunk videos and focus? - its first recorded usage - What's the point? in modern English - comes from a book - How about so you can pass your midterms and stay eligible? Zoey, none of that shit matters anymore.
They're saying I'm the biggest bust in the country.
No one's saying that.
Cash, a lot of people are saying you just might be the biggest bust in the country.
Whatever, Cash.
No one watches sports on TV, anyways.
It's like all of a sudden, I forgot how to play basketball.
I don't even know what I'm doing here anymore.
This was my dream.
Now it feels like I'm never going to the League.
You don't know that.
Cash, a lot of people are saying you're probably never going to the League.
Well, a lot of people said Hillary Clinton was gonna win, too, so [CHUCKLES] That is true and also making me feel worse.
All I'm saying is, let's say, worst-case scenario, - you don't go to the League.
- Hold on.
What? No, like, worst, worst, worst case.
You're still getting a great education at one of the best universities in the country for free.
Take advantage of it.
Use this place.
I mean, I always see you making these amazing videos, and you're always watching movies.
I'm sure you've probably seen everything.
This school has a great film program.
Maybe you can do that.
And if that's not your thing, we'll find you something else.
My point is, you're more than just a basketball player.
Thanks.
Yeah.
So, Cash promised me he'd stay in the fight and keep going with the tutoring.
And I promised him I would never wear one of those shirts.
[DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS] Well, here we are, friend, back at it again, and this is a big one.
This is the number-one-ranked Minnesota Blackhawks looking to continue their winning streak against the struggling Cal U Titans.
Oh, hey, look, Zoey.
Your boy's getting up.
Is he getting in? No.
No, he's not.
He's just untucking his shirt.
I think he's settling in for the night.
Can you stop hating for like two seconds? Cash is gonna be fine with or without basketball.
[SIGHS] He's actually considering becoming a director.
Really? A director? Oh, o-okay.
Like that's a far-fetched idea.
Tell me how many jobs for revolutionaries are there on Monster? All right, all right, all right, fries, everybody.
- I love this guy.
- Me, too.
Girls.
All of them? Please, can I have - They're hungry.
- You're such a sweetheart.
Oh, I'm not that big of a sweetheart.
She's just used to not being treated well.
That's true.
[CHUCKLES] Okay, so, the other night, we got totally trashed, but it was so cool 'cause he came back the next morning with a hangover care package.
Okay, Tylenol, Pedialyte, and a big-ass cheeseburger.
- Huge.
- A man who gets you drunk and then buys you a cheeseburger? Girl, that is boyfriend material.
[SCOFFS] That's husband material.
[WHISTLE BLOWS] - Robinson goes down hard.
- [ALL GROANING] - This would be a big loss for the Titans.
- Uh-oh.
Looks like we're gonna have a rare Cash Y-Your boy's taking off his warm-ups.
ZOEY: Oh, my God, he's going in! Yes! Finally, another Cash Mooney fan.
No, no, no, not at all.
I bet the spread, and I need the Blackhawks to blow our guys out.
Otherwise, I'm not gonna make my car payment.
Mooney over half-court, looking to get the ball in the post.
And his pass goes sailing out of bounds.
It looks like he's got those jitters.
Hey, it happens.
- We all make mistakes.
- I just can't watch this.
Where you going? Zoey? - Really? We're doing that? - Hey.
- What was that all about? - You know what? It's It's nothing.
She's just She was a girl I was hooking up with.
She tried to make a big deal about me being bi.
Okay, she thinks that I'm I'm an immature lesbian going through a phase.
DAVE: That's ridiculous, right? I mean, I've messed with guys.
Doesn't make me gay.
Huh? [CLEARS THROAT] Sorry.
[CHUCKLES] - So, when you say - Mm-hmm? you've messed with guys, that was, like, a "one time, I messed with a guy" phase? [CHUCKLING] No, no.
No.
I'm bi, just like you, huh? - [CHUCKLES] - Totally.
Just like me.
- [COUGHS, CLEARS THROAT] - You good? Yeah, I'll be all right.
Thank you.
[ELEVATOR BELL DINGS] So, I bailed on the game, but it seemed no matter where I went, I couldn't get away from it.
WOMAN: Are you kidding me?! MAN: I've never seen anything like it! I finally understood how these people got into Cash's head.
They were monsters.
WOMAN #2: How is this happening?! MAN #2: This Cash guy is unbelievable! Why don't you guys just leave him alone? God! 3 ball.
[ALL CHEERING] Oh, my God! Zoey, did you just see what happened?! - No.
- Come here before they replay! Come on! Come on! Hurry! Hurry! It's awesome! Hurry up! Cash Mooney with the performance of a lifetime, - a school-record 51 points! - Yeah, Sean.
Not only did this guy almost single-handedly take down the number-one team in the country, but he's made a statement that he's for real.
- Oh, my God.
Oh, my God! Oh, my God! - [SCREAMING] [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] [INDISTINCT SHOUTING] And we're here with the man of the hour.
Cash, that was unreal.
You couldn't have scripted it any better than that.
Tell us what happened out there? Well, I mean, my guys found me in my spots, and, uh, I guess I was just locked in.
[CHUCKLES] It's got to feel pretty good to silence your naysayers.
Am I right? Right now it's not even about the naysayers.
It's about the people that stuck with me when I was down.
Shout-out to my curly-haired Cup Bitch.
[GASPS] Uh, sorry, folks.
I don't think we can actually say that on TV.
Oh, no, don't worry.
Nobody watches sports on TV, anyway.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God! He's talking to me.
I am the Cup Bitch.
I am the Cup Bitch! I really need a new nickname.
Or Or maybe I can live with it.
- [SQUEALS] - Hey So, I'd gotten my letter of recommendation, and Cash had killed his game.
I got two lattes for Cash and Cup Bitch.
It was time to see if we could both rise to the occasion and just barely pass our U.
S.
Gov test.
Hey, you will not believe what they wrote on my cup.
Oh.
Thank you.
I'm sorry.
You must be in the wrong seat.
My friend Cash actually usually sits here.
- No, wait.
You're not - Shh! Be cool, Cup Bitch.
What? [SIGHS] [ROBIN LOXLEY'S "OWE YOU NOTHING" PLAYING] [CELLPHONE CHIMES] Yo, Zoey.
- Uh, hey.
- You see the game last night? Hey, who was taking your midterm for you? Midterm? Oh, yeah, don't worry about that.
What do you mean, don't worry about it? Zoey, I'm good now.
We're good.
Wanna take my heart and soul, but I owe you nothing Young, gifted, and black Yo, Aaron, wanna hit Titanium, catch the game? - No, I'm good.
- You all right, man? - Yeah, I'm fine.
- To be young Go on ahead, bro, without me.
- Go, Titans.
- Gifted, and black Open your heart to what I mean [SIGHS] In the whole world you know There's a million boys and girls Who are young, gifted, and black And that's a fact