Grown-ish (2018) s04e02 Episode Script

1 Growing up, I'd always wondered what fate would have in store for me.
Who would I be? Would I change the world? Would I ever successfully pull off horizontal stripes? And while fate hadn't revealed the answers to all my questions, it had revealed the answer to one, and it was a biggie.
Because on that fateful night in Mexico, I said "yes" to becoming Mrs.
Zoey Johnson-Jackson.
Rolls right off the tongue, doesn't it? After three long years of ups and downs with Aaron, fate had finally brought us together on a moonlit beach in Mexico to celebrate our spontaneous quickie wedding.
And just when I was starting to think I had fate fully in my corner On your feet! - Oh, my God.
- Oh, snap.
Um, uh - All right.
- I learned that fate was a sometimes-y ass bitch.
Watch out, world, I'm grown now I'm grown Learn something new every day I don't know, so I'ma feel my way Got the weight of the world on me But no regrets, this is what I say Watch out, world, I'm grown now - I'm grown - You can tell me My heart beating so loud Mama, look, I'm grown now I'm grown Arrested? I am so humiliated.
This is so humiliating, right? Yeah, yeah, no.
It's definitely, uh, not a moment of excellence.
I mean, how did this even happen? Aaron, what are the chances? Well, I think the chances are pretty good if you steal a giant piñata in the middle of a resort town.
But look, let's not make this a big deal.
It's Mexico.
The cops are just trying to scare us.
It's like that show "Scared Straight," but in Spanish.
I feel like all they want is some money, maybe, and then all this will be behind us.
- You think so? - Yes.
- Vamos.
- Okay.
Hi.
You ain't gotta push me, man.
Listen, I spent all my money at the chapel.
- How much you got? - I got nothing.
I've got nothing, Aaron.
What are we going to do? 'Cause I'm gonna die in jail.
You are a year older than me.
You have lived.
Okay, I'm gonna tell you what we're not gonna do, and that's freak out, - because when you freak out, I freak out.
- Okay.
So, what we're gonna do is, we're gonna hit Doug.
He's gonna come to the station with some cash.
And then we'll be free to go.
Yeah, we just gotta hang tight.
Phone.
Okay, got it.
I got it.
- You can just - One sec.
The wife.
Happy wife, happy life, am I right? I don't think he understood me.
The secret to tres leches is that sneaky-ass third level of milk really makes it hit.
Bro, enough about your little soggy dessert.
Can we get out of here? I-I don't enjoy partying with 15-year-olds.
We're partying with Lisette-Maria and Camilla.
I linked up with two local baddies.
They don't speak any English, I don't speak any Spanish, and you speak both.
I mean, those are literally grown-ass women.
- Are we not having a good time? - No, we're not.
Bro, look.
This just isn't what I expected, man.
I just thought we was coming to the party, I would help you translate a little Español, and then, you know, we Ciudad Aplastar! Expectations is joy's sworn enemy.
- Bro.
- Listen, you're not having a good time because you can't appreciate the gift that's right in front of you.
Honestly, the only thing crazier than you hacking and smashing Javi's tablet is you taking a flight out of Mexico in the middle of the night.
Actually, the smashing shows a fiery temper, which means crazy in the sack.
- Mm.
- So I take that back.
Hi, guys.
Um, sorry to interrupt.
Ana can I talk to you for a minute? Now's not a good time, bro.
Ana.
Come on.
Really? Oh, God.
So, you're gonna fly standby back to L.
A.
while Javi goes to an all-you can eat chilaquiles bar with Vivek? Is that That's what's happening? Okay, I guess I didn't think things all the way through.
I was mad, and I didn't want to be around him.
I had to take some sort of stand.
Yeah, your stand should have been making him go back to L.
A.
, okay? He's the one who gave you an STD.
- Oof.
- No, well Technically, he doesn't have it.
But he could have given it to me, had he contracted it.
Which he didn't.
Okay, I'm sorry, what? So you took us on this whole song and dance when you knew that Javi didn't even have anything? I know we did not just waste a solid 13 minutes - on this nonsense.
- Okay, wait.
So no one here thinks that he was wrong for not telling me? I just don't know if I care anymore, so Okay, listen.
I don't understand why people say they want full disclosure in a relationship when they obviously don't.
Now I see why Javi kept his mouth shut.
And, shit, I should have kept my mouth shut with Doug.
Well, I kept my mouth shut with Phil, and it didn't work out great for me, so I mean, what is his problem? Why can't he just be honest with me? Girl, I don't know, but it sounds like trust is the real chlamydia in this relationship, and it needs to get treated.
Oh, my God.
This shit is getting real.
Aaron, I'm starting to sweat behind my knees, and I think I'm having my first international panic attack.
Honey, it's okay, all right? Look, there's nothing to worry about.
L-Look, they're handcuffed.
We're not handcuffed.
If we were in trouble, you think they'd let us wander around uncuffed? - No.
Okay.
- No, you're right.
I'm okay.
Okay, now, I'm gonna go talk to our man up here, uh, and get this whole thing sorted out.
We're gonna get back to the villa, where we should be.
This may just be like a little Venmo situation.
Watch me work.
Excuse me, Señor-o? Uh, can I talk to you for a minute? Look, I know you probably think that I am an obnoxious American tourist here to exploit your country and rape your land for its resources.
That's not the case at all, because I'm not even American.
- I'm African-American.
- Oh, God.
Anyways, uh, listen I don't want to waste your precious time.
I know you're a busy man, so I'm gonna get straight to it.
What is it gonna take to get me and my beautiful bride out of here? Now, I don't have any money on me right now, per se, but I do have some money back at the villa we're staying at, and this just came to me we should go get it together if you want.
Because I'm saying, the place is very cool.
We have, um, a lot of cute chicks.
Uh I mean, are they crazy? Sure, but cute nonetheless, and I'm willing to make that happen for you.
I'm talking about carnitas, uh uh, shredded pork, um, hot sauce, el swimming pool, you know what I'm saying? Yeah.
You don't even need swim trunks.
I got the swim trunks.
What size you wear? Extra large? Nah, you're a large.
Slim, but fit.
Whatever you're into.
If you can just write your sizes down, that'll work out.
I don't know.
So, I guess it wasn't just a little Venmo situation, huh? I don't know what you're complaining about.
You're not the one handcuffed to a chair.
Well, I'm also not the one who hmm, I don't know solicited a guard.
Oh, well, I'm I'm I'm sorry, okay? That I offered a man some swimming trunks so he could cool off from a long day of jail work.
You know what? We're not gonna throw the blame anywhere.
It's no one's fault that we're here.
- Mm.
- But to be clear, there is one infraction that put us here, and that is you stealing the piñata.
Mm.
Well, they wouldn't have found us if we didn't have to linger on the beach due to your delayed performance.
My d You watch your mouth.
It's called a penile pause.
All right? And it was intentional.
- Oh, is that right? - Yeah.
Yeah, that is right.
And you know what? Maybe I was a little tired because I had to cater to your every need.
Oh, got you.
So it's my fault? I'm just saying, you were walking around sulking all day because nobody wanted to do the activities you wanted to do.
I would have been fine chilling at the villa, laying back, incessantly having sex.
- Of course you would.
- Know what I mean? Because that's all you ever want to do, which is exactly how we ended up on the stupid beach.
So, the beach sex was my idea? You literally said, "I have an idea.
Let's go have beach sex.
" Which is why we got arrested.
I don't remember that.
Okay, and we got arrested because you stole a piñata, which led them to us on the beach.
All that other stuff the theft, the ridiculous marriage that's your fault, Zoey.
Okay, fine.
You know, I'll take all the responsibility for the many mistakes I made tonight, the biggest one being that I am now legally bound to a horn-dog with a rattail named Avery.
Yeah, it's hard being married to you, too, Zoey.
Because of your personality.
Can I please get some water? It's hot! Looks like, uh, you guys are really vibing over here, huh? I actually have no idea what she's saying, but it sounds fire.
Bro, she said we 'bout to go el bang-a en el baño.
What? Watch my cake.
I'm going to work, my boy.
Mm-hmm.
Whatever that means.
You want to know what's stupid? That we waited this long.
You know, to be together.
It was never the right timing.
You were You were either with Luca, or you were you were on tour with Joey Bada$$.
I was either with Rochelle or saving the university.
And then, finally, after three years, we're we're actually together, and within two weeks and an amazing first date, we decide to get married.
It's insanity.
It's What's wrong with us? Okay, yeah, s-sure.
Getting married on our first date was a dumb, drunk, impulsive thing to do, but isn't the real issue right now that we're in jail? Yeah, but we're only in here because every time we're together, we don't act like ourselves.
It's like we become these two spontaneous idiots that that that neither of us can pull the other back from.
But, Aaron, that's not true.
Yes.
Yes, it is, Zoey.
Uh, think about it.
Y-You stole a piñata the size of a Kia, a-and I kind of just sat back and let it happen.
Just like I let this dumb-ass wedding happen.
And that's why we're here and I'm cuffed to this dumb-ass chair.
Well, maybe we're cursed because of how we started this relationship in the first place.
You know, the whole Rochelle thing was super messy, so maybe this is just karma.
Karma, bad juju, curse whatever you want to call it, it's just At the end of the day, it's obvious that we bring out the worst in each other.
Wow.
Um Well, maybe instead of cursed, we're lucky, because at least now we know how we feel about each other two weeks in.
So She's mad at me.
She hacked my tablet, then smashed it.
I mean, half my thesis was on that thing.
Chlamydia's not even that crazy, right? Look, man.
I always try to ride for dicks as in "dicks over chicks" but I can't.
I'm sorry.
For sure, bro.
You don't need to apologize.
What I'm trying to say is, I learned that lying to someone you care about never pays off.
I did the same thing when I lied to Heidi about my drug dealing.
It was the worst mistake of my life.
Really? Not the actual drug-dealing? Are you kidding me? There's nothing like dealing a fistful of Captain Cody to a trembling Latin professor.
But, no, it was the lying.
So be grateful you still have your chick.
I just have my D.
And a broken heart.
Thanks, bud.
Hey, shredded pork.
Let's go.
- You're being released.
- About time.
Thank you, Señor-o.
Appreciate you.
All right, Zoey, come on.
We're out of here.
- Let's go.
- No.
- Excu - You're out of here.
She stays.
What are you talking about? I'm not leaving without her.
- Let's go.
Come on.
- No, Aaron, it's - You can both stay.
Fine.
- No, we're honestly.
Aaron, all they wanted was one person to admit they were guilty of stealing the piñata, so I did.
This was on me.
Just let me own up.
Why Why Why would you do something like that? - Why the hell would you do something like that? - Aaron, I'm sorry.
- Oh, my God.
Hey - Hey, why Hey! - Hey! - Hey, watch the way you touch her, bro! - Over a piñata? Are you guys kidding me? - Hold on.
- Vámonos! - Hey, move.
Move.
Get off me! Zoey! Get off me! Zoey! Zoey! Yo, come on, my man.
Is this really necessary? You're m You're really making her spend the night in there over a piñata? If this is about money, I can go to an ATM right now.
I told you.
It's too late.
Just come back in the morning for her.
No, no.
[Bleep.]
that! - I'm not going anywhere.
- That's fine.
I'd be happy to arrest you for harassing an officer and throw you in there, too.
I just don't get it.
Why? Why is it so difficult for you to communicate honestly with me? Because you know that your reactions can be a little A lot.
My reactions are perfectly calibrated.
First, when we're about to have sex, you tell me we won't be having sex.
And now now I'm dealing with this STD mess.
I mean, it it it's obvious you have a difficult time sharing information.
No, it's obvious that you have trust issues, and I trigger those.
Well, I don't know how to fix that overnight.
Definitely not gonna fix it while we're on vacation with your friends.
Nope.
I think I should go.
You enjoy your weekend, and we can talk when you get back to L.
A.
I think that sounds like a good idea.
After surviving a night in jail, it seemed fate had answered a few more questions like, "Would I ever serve time in jail?" Turns out the answer was yes.
Would it be the most terrifying night of my life? That answer was also yes.
Um Hey.
I cannot believe you slept here.
Yeah, I wasn't about to let you spend the night in there by yourself.
When I saw Aaron that morning, I had one more question would I do it all over again and spend a night in jail if it meant Aaron would be released? Surprisingly, the answer was another yes.
So, why'd you do it? Why did you take the blame? Because last night when I was down and out and such a mess, you rallied and gave me one of the most amazing nights of my life.
I just knew it was my turn to finally rally for you.
And I'm really sorry for everything.
No, you have nothing to apologize about.
It's Last night was rough, and we both said things we didn't mean.
Yeah, and there was a grain of truth to some of what we said like, um, maybe us getting married not being the brightest decision we've ever made? Yep.
You think maybe we should undo it? I don't know.
Do you think we should? Would it be awful if I didn't want to? No, it'd be a little romantic.
But completely insane.
Completely.
Okay, then, how about we agree that last night was the craziest, most impulsively amazing night of our lives and that that night should stay right here in Mexico? I got to be honest.
There's There's something extremely sexy about being able to call you my ex-wife and my girlfriend.
Well, then.
- Aaron Jackson.
- Yes? Will you divorce me? I'd be happy to.
I love you.
I love you too, Freshman.
Yeah? So let's go get unmarried! - Let's do it.
After you.
- Okay.
Somewhere between the Mexican beach, the Mexican jail, and the Mexican chapel, we learned that without a marriage application and a blood test, our short-lived union wasn't so legal after all.
But we also learned that taking control of our destiny when fate wasn't on our side was how we were gonna stay together and continue to try and bring out the best in each other.
- Oh, my gosh.
- Good morning.
Guys, hi.
You're finally back.
- Where were you last night? - I mean, you know nowhere crazy.
Yeah, we just had a little Mexican date night.
This looks so fancy.
All right so, listen, Zoey.
We were all talking this morning about how ugly last night got, and we are all sorry.
Yeah, so, for the rest of the trip, we have all committed that everyone will be doing each other, just like you wanted.
Really? Chingón to senior year! - Okay.
Senior year! - Hey! What? You speak Spanish? So I didn't have to translate you last night? Of course not.
Your Spanish is terrible.
I just saw you were in your feelings yesterday, and I knew you needed to win, so Okay, can I just say I love you all, and this is so sweet? This is gonna be the best year ever.
- Cheers.
- Cheers.
- Big cheers.
- Big cheers! - Senior year.
- Senior year.
You know that weird virus that's been ravaging Asia and Europe? - Yeah? - It's in the U.
S.
now.
- Yikes.
- We'll probably be fine.
- I'm not worried about it.
- We're fine.
- Cheers! - Cheers.
- Big cheers.
- To senior year! Ahh!! Cheers! Whoo!