Hammer House of Horror (1980) s01e06 Episode Script

Charlie Boy

Hello, Heinz.
Ah, Gwen.
ls Sir Jack at home? He is expecting me.
He's up on the roof, Heinz.
Up on the roof? At his age? - He's fixing the aerial.
lt came off in the storm.
| - Crazy! Would you like to sit down? You have decided to keep that one, eh? Yes.
l remember it from | when l used to stay here as a boy.
- Boring! | - You'll grow to love it, Sarah.
Can l pick something l like? Certainly can.
l tell you one thing, my dear friend.
lf you wish to realise the best price for all these | pictures, you will have to have them cleaned.
Anything you say, Heinz.
l presume you'll handle that for me.
But of course.
| l have a dear friend who is a picture restorer.
I thought you might have Do you know what he said to Picasso? Have you seen this lot? | - Yes, Uncle Jack's African collection.
They'e fantastic | - Do you like them, eh? l don't think "like" is the word, no.
- Would you all like some tea? | - Good idea.
Thank s, Gwen.
Poor Gwen.
She's not the same person | since your uncle died.
You think so? She was expecting a big legacy? She was always treated as one of the family.
When it came to the will, | Mark got the lion's share, as you know.
The house, most of the money.
l got the art department.
There's nothing left for Gwen, eh? The car and £500 lt's not the money, l'm sure, just the fact that she was pretty well overlooked.
Perhaps Mark will keep her on.
l don't think she's Mark's speed exactly.
Hey, Graham.
You know that feeling | when your eyes meet across a crowded room and you go - That one? No question.
Say hello to Charlie Boy Hello, Charlie Boy.
- Yes, that's what I'm going to call him.
An interesting choice.
You know what it is? - It's a fetish from central Africa.
A fetish? When the witches stick pins into dolls.
Yes.
Well, l know you've got something, - haven't you, Charlie Boy? | - l think you are a witch.
You like living dangerously It's the beginning of a new era for us Sarah, my love.
l'll soon be working for myself.
Oh, at last! Those things won't fetch that much, you know.
With Mark and Phil.
We've been talking about | setting up our own production company for a bit.
Phil's got no money, | and you haven't had any until now.
Mak will be rolling in it l don't trust Mark further than l can throw the car.
lt's just his style.
Actually, he had enough for his share | of the money a couple of years back.
OK, l believe you.
Whoops! l wasn't concentrating.
Sorry, chum! No, it just means | that l only have to find my share, not all of the money What's he messing about at? Bloody lunatic.
Come on, then.
Come by! Come on, then! Come on! - Get out of the bloody way He's just narked because l cut him up.
Graham watch it - We could have been killed Come on, you stupid - He's going to have us in the ditch! | - l'll pull over and let him go on.
Good idea.
l'll give him three minutes.
That should be enough.
Graham Graham, that's him coming back.
Is that him coming back? It is Graham, he's going to hit us Graham! Jesus! - Graham, do something.
| - Let's get out of it.
Look out, Graham, he's coming again! Christ, he's not going to let us go! What are we going to do? l'm going to talk to him, | that's what l'm going to do.
- No, Graham.
| - l'll be all right.
Look, be careful, Graham.
OK.
Look, why are you doing this? I apologise.
I didn't mean to carve you up.
Will you please back up and let us get out? We want to move our car away from here.
l can't get out if you're going to keep | coming down and closing in.
l've said l'm sorry.
What more do you want me to do? Thank you.
Graham! Graham Graham? - Are you all right, love? | - l'm fine.
Do you want one? No, thank s.
You're not still upset about that berk, are you? - He could have killed me.
| - He was only trying to frighten you.
He damn well succeeded.
l don't think l'll use the car for a couple of days.
Why not? Come on, you saw the fellow dirty great scar down his face.
He was obviously some kind of villain.
Come on, Graham, you're so middle-class.
| "Some kind of villain"? l can't help being middle-class, it's what l am.
All right, don't get stuffy.
Look, that fellow was just trying to pull a fast one, | only you didn't let him get away with it.
So he got a bit choked and had a go at you, | that's all.
He's probably forgotten all about it.
l don't know.
lt didn't look like he had "Forgive | and forget" engraved on his heart, to me.
- Tell you what.
| - What? Why don't you set Charlie Boy on him? Now you're being ridiculous.
That's right, just like you.
OK, l'm sorry.
Maybe l will have that drink.
l thought a fetish was something to do with | high heels or suspender belts or something.
Oh, yeah.
Well, you would, wouldn't you? Anyway, they don't wear 'em in the Congo.
Well, he's had a lot of customers, | by the look of him.
Do you think it really work s? Not in Barnes, l shouldn't think.
Not on characters like Scarface back there.
Scarface? Yeah, baby, Scarface.
Don't you forget it.
Public enemy number one.
You've just gotta realise nobody messes around with Big Graham.
Nobody OK, Scarface .
.
this is where you get yours, sweetheart.
You dirty little rat.
Feeling better, big boy? Do you know, l do believe l am.
Much better, in fact.
l don't know whether it's Charlie Boy or you.
lt's me, honey, and you'd better believe it.
- Sorted things out fast, haven't you, Mark? | - There's no point in hanging around.
- Watch him He's very nervous.
Go on, get out.
Break your leg as soon as look at you, | wouldn't you? l'm surprised you keep him.
There's no point in riding a docile dobbin.
| With this fellow, life's never dull, is it? He's a handsome animal, anyway.
Oh, he's a beauty.
Aren't you? You know, l'm going to rebuild all this lot.
Tear this rubbish down, and get into breeding in a big way.
| There's a lot of money to be made.
lt's a big capital investment, though.
That's no problem now.
Good.
That's why we've come, actually.
What about a cup of tea? | Why don't we go back to the house? just about ready to dish up by now.
Come in.
Come in.
You know, l've been thinking.
They've asked me | if l'd like to have a meet here next season.
Well, why don't you? Yes, l think l will.
- l think l will.
| - How are you getting on with Gwen? - Lady Macbeth? | - ls that what you call her? l half expect to find her sleepwalking | up there one night.
Come on.
Gwen's all right.
Would you care to share this house with her? 21 rooms between two people | is hardly what l call sharing.
Perhaps not, but it does tend | to cramp one's activities.
- l know what you mean.
| - l've given her marching orders.
Told her to leave as soon as possible.
Thank you, Miss Williams.
- Shall l pour? | - No, thank you.
We'll manage.
Thank s, Gwen.
Uncle Jack spoiled her, that's the trouble.
Gave her ideas above her station.
Right l'll be mother.
Mark l've found exactly the right place | for our new offices and studio.
Foubert's old place.
Very handy, right, Phil? - Right, yeah.
Very handy.
| - Ah, yes, the studio.
- I meant to taIk to you about tnat | - lt was great to get out of that agency.
Out? You mean you've chucked your job in? Too true, l have! | l want to get going on our thing now.
- No hanging around.
| - l wish you hadn't done that.
We both have the money.
| There's nothing to stop us.
lt's different for me.
l'm older than you, Graham.
I've got to put this windfall into something solid.
Yes, wellwe'll make it solid.
No, it's too late now.
| l've committed myself to this place and the stud.
And l've got to be blunt with you, Graham.
A commercial company's just a matter of fashion.
| One month you're in and the next you're out.
You never said any of this before.
No, perhaps not.
Sugar? But l didn't make any firm commitment.
Mark, you said, | "As soon as we both have the money" One lump or two? Phil? No use looking at me, guv.
| l'm only a film director.
All I was offering was my talent.
You said lt was an understanding.
l never thought you'd raise your half! Do help yourself to biscuits and things.
l hope you told him to get stuffed.
There wouldn't have been any point.
Anyway, l was too upset.
And Phil.
Oh, Phil You can't blame Phil.
He never had any real financial stake | in the project.
Yeah? Well, he was going to be | your lead director, wasn't he? Sure, but Phil's always in work, anyway.
Can't you start a company of your own, | just you and Phil? No.
Even with selling everything Uncle Jack left me, | l wouldn't have nearly enough.
Ah, the bastard! lf only he'd told me before | he'd changed his mind.
l'd never have left the agency.
lf you drop out of this business for any time, | people forget you.
Ohh.
l don't know where l'll find another partner.
Look, why don't we go to bed? - And you try and forget it for a while.
| - l couldn't sleep.
Who's talking about sleep? l'm sorry, darling.
l'm just too wound up.
You go and get your beauty sleep.
There's no point in ruining your career as well.
OK.
But don't stay up too long.
Don't drink too much.
stop mucking about.
Take it! You should be in the picture, Graham.
We must have all the partners in.
I'll set the delayed action.
should have Uncle Jack.
Where is he? - Tell him we want to take his picture.
Jack? Jack, dear? It's best not to disturb him.
Right, here we go.
Smile pIease! Great! - ls that it? | - Listen, just one more.
- Oh, God, no! | - Come on, Graham! No! No more! On this historic occasion, | l would like to propose a toast.
- A toast! | - Oh, can l have caviar on mine? - What's the toast, love? | - To Mark to Graham and to Phil! To MGP Productions.
And all who sail in her! - MGM.
Er, MGB.
| - MGP! You'd better hurry up and raise your share | of the money, Graham.
l can't wait for ever.
you share of the money, Graham.
l can't wait for ever.
Well, l'll see you.
Still here, Miss Williams? | l thought we had said goodbye.
Goodbye, Richard.
Gwen.
That's the last of the mourners gone.
Do you want a drink? Gwen? No.
Are you all right? lt's all so awful.
lt's not your fault, though, is it? We parted so badly.
l feel so ashamed of myself.
- Why? | - l don't know what you've got to be ashamed of.
Why don't you have yourself a drink, | it'll make you feel better.
When l first heard about the accident, at first My first reaction was to be pleased.
l was glad he was dead.
l shouldn't let that bother you.
l wasn't exactly heartbroken myself.
There, you see.
| What have you got to be ashamed of? I know Still, it's a horrid thing to think about anyone, | isn't it? Maybe l l will have that drink.
That's more like it.
lt's so awful.
This used to be such a happy house.
And now .
.
it's not even going to stay in the family | any more.
You're sure you don't mind staying on | to close it down? Somebody had to.
l'd rather it wasn't left to complete strangers.
Time enough for that when it's sold.
Oh, thank you.
No.
No, l don't mind spending a few days with my memories.
You're getting as bad as Gwen, | feeling guilty about being mad at Mark.
lt isn't that.
lt's this damn thing.
When l was annoyed with Mark the other night, | l stuck the knife in.
Oh no.
You can't believe that's what did it? l don't actually believe it, no.
But l can't help thinking about it.
l was full of resentment, maybe even hatred, | when l stuck this knife in.
Now the poor beggar's dead.
l can't get the damn thing out.
Blast! Well, that doesn't mean | that Charlie Boy was responsible.
- No.
| - l mean, Gwen could have fixed it.
- Yeah, she had the motive She was more or less left out of your uncle's will.
| And she didn't like that, you said.
when you and Phil went to see Mark.
- You never know - And she was talking to that farmer just before.
| - Sarah, that is ridiculous.
More ridiculous than blaming Charlie Boy? Graham, it's just a lump of wood! Sorry, pet, but that's just what you are.
ls that what he is? l don't think so any more.
I'll tell you why the shot is from up there.
William Tell and his little boy are Swiss, right? they have mountains, rignt? Right.
And over here in Norfolk, we don't cos it is very flat, right? - So, we go up high miss the sky | and the nonexistent mountains, right? Righto, guv.
God! - Hello? | - Thank you very much.
Hello? Could l speak to Phil Peters, please? Yes, just a minute.
l'll get him for you.
Phil? - Telephone call for you | - OK.
- lt's Graham.
| - All right.
- Who are you calling? | - Phil.
- Give him my love.
| - Will do.
- What time will you be home? | - No idea.
Not late.
- Have fun.
| - You too.
No brooding over him.
No.
Things look better in the daylight, don't they? Put a bit more on his eyes, all right? George, make sure the bows all work | and we're ready to go.
Oh, hello, darling.
Ooh, what lovely rosy pippins you've got there.
- Was that for me? No, not to you.
How are you? - What are you shooting? - Adam and Eve? Would you believe, William Tell? - You've got it.
- Listen it pays the rent.
- Who can afford to be choosy? | - Somebody with a production company? - You'd better beIieve it, boy - The estate's to be divided to bankroll the company.
- l hear you loud and clear.
| - We ought to meet up.
Right on Mandy, we've found some bread.
| Graham's come up trumps.
- Great | - Right.
First positions, please.
Right, now, as we rehearsed it.
One little boy.
With one Swiss Delicious apple on his bonce.
Daddy Tell takes up his bow and aims.
And then move for the close-ups as the apple | splits in two.
And you nibble with delight.
Nothing to worry about.
| We're using a dummy head.
So there's nothing to worry about at all.
Are you all right, mister? Two people l wanted to go into business with.
They've both been killed within a matter of days.
Has to be a jinx.
You can't say Gwen | was responsible for Phil's death.
Uncle Jack never left him anything.
l never thought she killed him.
l just wanted you to realise | how ridiculous you were being.
l just know that that .
.
object has something to do with those deaths.
l've never heard you talking like this.
l'm going to get undressed and ready for bed, | because l'm bushed.
Listen, l called Heinz about Charlie Boy.
What did he say? He's going to pick him up Friday morning.
l hope you didn't tell him about all this.
- He'II think we're crackers.
| - l didn't say why l wanted rid of him.
l just said l'd changed my mind.
Graham, this is really stupid.
You used to laugh at me | for not walking under ladders.
This isn't the same as walking under a ladder, | Sarah.
Two people have died.
Listen, love.
l'll let Heinz get rid of him | and get a good price.
He says he already knows a likely customer.
Then l'll buy you something much nicer | with the proceeds.
OK? Look, it can't just be all coincidence, can it? Yes, it can.
Horse riding is a hobby, like shooting.
| People do get killed doing it.
- Stop, it Graham You can't start tying everything together.
lt was an accident.
Accidents happen.
People who ride horses do get killed, and villains do get bumped off What villains? What villains? l didn't mean to tell you that.
Tell me what? What villains? "The body of Brian Edward Murray was found | in the office of his club earlier this morning, with knife wounds.
Murray was recently found not guilty on charges | of conspiracy to murder.
" My God! lt's Scarface, the man in that car! lt doesn't alter what l was saying.
| Villains do get killed.
Don't you remember? You said, | "Why don't you set Charlie Boy onto him?" - and l stuck the knife in.
| - lt's all in the mind, love.
Them people who killed him probably planned it | months before we got Charlie Boy.
But this happened over a week ago! | Why didn't you tell me before, Sarah? Because I forgot.
And l didn't think it was important.
And then when we got all worked up about | Mark's accident, l just kept it to myself.
Because l still think you're wrong.
Mark wouldn't have had an accident | if l'd seen this picture.
How can you say that? Because l wouldn't have What? Come here.
l was looking at this picture | on the night l stuck this knife in.
- So? | - The order which they died, one after the other.
When l thought of Scarface | and stuck the knife in, he died.
Mark and then Phil have been killed in the order | in which they're standing in this picture.
- Graham! | - Do you still think l'm wrong? Well, that means if anything happens to Gwen l'm next.
Then it's you - Gwen's still at the house, isn't she? | - Yes.
We should warn her.
Give her a ring.
lt's ringing.
Perhaps she isn't there.
Come on! - Give her time lt's a big house.
No, she's probably asleep.
l'll try again in the morning.
She won't be awake yet.
lt's the crack of dawn.
l know.
l can't wait any longer.
Hello Gwen? Hello? Hello? Hello, Gwen? Are you there? What's the matter? Can't you get through? She answered but she won't speak.
Hello, Gwen? Look, are you all right? lt's Graham.
Hello? Something's wrong.
l'm going down there.
Are you sure you don't want me | to come with you? No, l'll drive faster on my own.
Gwen? Gwen? Gwen, are you there? Gwen, it's Graham! Gwen? Gwen! Gwen where are you? Gwen? Are you in there, Gwen? Ah, Graham.
Graham, my boy, what's the matter? Heinz, you must tell me.
How do l stop it? Stop what? - The magicthe voodoo, or whatever.
| - Calm down.
I don't know what you mean.
The statue, the fetishCharlie Boy.
Oh, Charlie Boy.
Yes.
lt work s, Heinz.
lt kills.
l can see you are upset.
| But, you know, this is crazy.
These malevolent spirits | act only in their own environment.
But it does Heinz That's what l'm telling you.
l stuck a knife into it fooling around, really, while l was looking at a picture.
You were looking at the photograph, yes.
There were five people on that picture.
Three of them are now dead Mark, Phil Peters, and now Gwen.
Gwen? Dead? But how? Suicide.
She slashed her wrists.
Oh, poor Gwen.
Ach, l'm very sorry.
Yes.
But listen, Heinz the next two people on that picture | are Sarah and me.
Oh! You have to tell me how to stop it.
| There has to be another way.
You say you put the blade in? Yes Then only you can break the spell.
How? - You must pull the blade out and break it.
| - l tried to pull it out.
l couldn't.
Then all you can do is .
.
destroy the fetish.
Burn it.
But I warn you, it will not be easy.
You must build a pyre.
You set a light to it.
And you place the fetish on the burning wood.
Right.
Right, that's the lot.
Come on.
Let's get going.
That's it, Joe.
Keep it coming.
| Left hand down a bit.
Lovely.
Come on.
Keep it coming.
Come on Won't keep you a moment, sir.
Hold on.
That's it.
Hold it there.
Thank you very much, sir.
Oh, no! God! Charlie Boy.
And you were out for about quarter of an hour? Yes, that's right.
l know it's a bit late to say it, but these valuable | pieces like your African sculpture should be specifically insured, you know.
There are some things | you can't insure against, Inspector.
Right! Money's never going to replace | the sentimental value.
Or the aesthetic value.
But there you go.
It can be a consolation.
l'm not interested in consolation.
We just want Charlie Boy back.
Ah! You've christened that piece, right? OK l see two basic premises here.
One, the thief has a specific home in mind | for Charlie, knows a collector who's after a piece like that | and willing to pay the price, no questions asked.
- lt's quite rare | - What's the other premise? lf he isn't a specialist, he'll hang onto it for a bit | then flog it round the dealers.
Then we should get onto it | without too much difficulty.
- That could take week s! | - Possibly.
But you can't put a time limit | on these operations.
- We have to.
| - How do you mean? lsn't there any other way? | l don't care what it costs, l'll pay anything.
A reward might help, l suppose.
| But we won't hang about.
Right.
You really should have a word | with your crime prevention officer.
Yes I will after the horse has bolted No, I'll get in touch with him.
Good.
That way, there won't be | any more tragedies like this one.
I hope you're right.
I hope so too.
To the left.
Who are you calling? - Heinz.
| - Why didn't you tell him about Charlie Boy? How could I? You saw him.
"Right, sir.
Yes, voodoo, right.
And tell me, sir, do you suffer | from the mummy's curse, sir?" No, this is outside anything the law can handle.
They'd simply translate it into their own terms.
Here's Graham Elder, 32, with some insane story about a malevolent spirit.
Come on, come on! He was there earlier on.
l'll go round there and wait.
But will he be able to help? There has to be another way.
There has to be! lf Heinz doesn't know, then he'll know who does.
Well, l hope you're right, | because l'm next on that photo.
Don't do anything stupid.
Heinz, l've got to talk to you.
Eustace, my dear fellow.
Pressing business.
l'll telephone you.
Heinz, l've got to talk to you.
Certainly, my dear fellow.
| But not in the street, if you don't mind.
Heinz he's gone.
Gone? Stolen.
l've been cleaned out! | They've taken Charlie Boy.
Oh.
Oh, dear.
You've got to tell me what to do, Heinz.
There's nothing you can do.
Oh, my God.
There must be something! A witch doctor, anything! Without the fetish, nothing.
But l shouldn't be saying this but l think l have an idea | where Charlie Boy might be.
You know where he is? Someone telephoned me before lunch.
Somebody knows where he is? Possibly.
He told me about a fetish like yours.
- It seemed stange | - Where is he? Not in London.
Not in London.
Leave it to me.
But it may take a little time.
Time is what we haven't got, Heinz.
| l've got to have him now! So tell me where this man is.
He's a very dear friend of mine.
He's a crazy boy.
Where, Heinz? He worked, you know, for a Mafia collector.
He hired my friend to buy him things in Nigeria.
Heinz l don't want stories.
l just want Charlie Boy.
Now, where is he? You must understand.
When he was in Nigeria, | he did one of these crazy things.
He spends the money | that this collector had given him.
this man is threatening him.
Break the legs kill him.
Unless he pays the money back, - £12.
000 | - Heinz are you saying your friend stole Charlie Boy? No, he came to me for help.
- He wants a fetish like yours.
| - And you told him l had Charlie Boy? Yes, l - I thought | - Never mind what you thought.
Just tell me where to find him.
Here.
Peter Mercado.
69 Queen's Drive, Maidenhead Berks.
You bring no charges, huh? Hoffman.
Heinz? Oh, thank God.
Have you seen Graham yet? - Did he teII you? Yes.
- I hope so But, Sarah, I'm very concerned about Graham.
l think he might do something something crazy.
Look, l told him that l thought l knew where you fetish couId be found.
| - Oh, Heinz, thank God! But he might make great trouble.
Look, will you please go very, very quickly | and prevent him from doing anything foolish? l give you the address.
- Yeah? | - Peter Mercado? Who wants him? l'm a friend of Heinz Hoffman.
He sent me.
- Oh, you know Heinz? | - l've just come from there.
He says you've got an African statue | belongs to me.
- l'm afraid you're mistaken.
| - No, you are.
What the hell are you doing? Are you crazy? That's private! | Are you some kind of nut? Aargh! There you are.
Come on, you.
Bring him back.
Argh! Got you, you little bastard.
You just stay there, you little bastard.
We're on our way.
Easy.
You'll have to do better than that! Not good enough, Charlie Boy.
| Not nearly good enough.
Anyway it's me going to get you, | not you going to get me.
Sarah? l've got him! l'm taking him to the boiler house! Come and watch him burn! Ow! You can do better than that, you little bastard! That'll make you burn, however hard you are.
Argh!